The Twilight Saga

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This story is about a girl named Melania. She is 13 years old and livs in a small pueblo in Mexico. When her life begins to change she realizes that there are things close to people that are good.

Words on Spanish:

I was doing my chores, helping my madre clean the house. As I sweeped my mind started to wander.

I don't know how much longer I can stand living in this tiny house. Everyday my padre comes home drunk and either beats my madre or me. Maybe I should try running away alone. I thought to myself. But how can I do that and leave my madre here alone? She doesn't want to leave not matter what my padre does to us.

Once I tried to convince her to leave. But instead of saying yes she told me that once a women is married she can't leave her husband no matter what. I kept trying to convince her but we both started yelling at each other and she ended up smacking me and telling me to shut up.

I was so lost in thought that I didn't hear when my padre came stumbling inside.

"Where's dinner!" He yelled.

"It's right here. Come and eat. You too Melania."

As we sat down my padre started to stare at me funny. I pretended to act like I hadn't notest. This wasn't the first time he'd looked at me that way.

When my we sat down my madre said "Today I went to the Docter and they did some exams on me." Lately my mom's bones have been hurting. Hopefully it's nothing serious.

"Hm." Was all my padre said.

"I'll be getting them back tomorrow" My madre said. Usually during dinner I preferred not to talk. Before I speak I don't really think. So I sometimes would end up with a smack in the face from my madre or something much, much worse from my padre, not even realizing what I said.

After dinner I helped my madre wash the dishes and put them away. Then I went back to my room to draw a little bit. I wasn't very good at it but it did intertain me.

I ended up falling asleep.But then something got on me and woke me up. Before I could scream a big hand covered my mouth.

"Don't scream or you'll be sorry."

I hope you liked it. Please comment! And if you like it I'll make the chapters longer.

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Replies to This Discussion

My God, you sound like Jessica!
i love the banner and your story and if some one dosen't like your story he is stupid
Okay that makes me want to read more plz keep writeing and update me when u have something new plz!!!!!!
please update me cause this is really good

Gravity Moves

If the Voturi want him, I say let them try...
wats that for? lol, love to story miss creator!!! keep me updated plz
i am sad why have you not but the next chapter
Sorry I haven't updated my Interenet hasn't worked. Give me 4 or 5 days and it'll be up
to long time but oky
The Critics at Critics Roundup have reviewed your story to try and help you make it better if possible. Most times when we review a story there are three of us, I have been going to though some personal problems which have not allowed me to be online as much, do the things I love most, so your review is from my partners, hope this will help you become a better writer, from reading the reviews the main problem is spelling it makes me wonder if you type it on the computer first then post. Writing the story on the computer with a program with a spell checker really helps with those spelling errors. I think I will be reading your story very soon since my partner seemed to enjoy it. If you would like some more help just let us know and we can help you find an editor to double check your works. I wish you the best of lucky.

I would give A New Life an 8.5. It’s really well written, I love how you put just a couple words in Spanish. It’s really different when it comes to that and it is a good change from the normal. Wow, it’s about a topic of something that happens to little girls all the time. I will tell you one thing; you need to watch your spelling. Other than that, I think it is a great story. Sad at times but great! I can’t wait for your next chapter. I will be following this story from now on.

I’m going to give the story A new life a 9 cuz of some spelling mistakes.
I enjoy reading the story and will continue to do so! also love the mix of English and Spanish words and is a little unique.
The idea of the story and what happened to this little girl is very sad and shouldn’t happen to anyone and it just makes my hair stand up!

The Critics Roundup
Lady of the Mist
Karen E. Teague
hurry i am dying her
WOW! That was so good! That was AMAZING!!!! It was the best thing ever read for a chapter :)


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