The Twilight Saga

Bella’s happily ever after lasted two days. This is Bella’s own account of what happened after Breaking Dawn, her growing understanding of her powers, her battle to remain with the man she loves, finding her place in her new family, and the ever-present threat of the Volturi.

New posting Chapter 55 - Postscript


Cold Gray Light

by Chris



Please view the new trailer by Jesse Desplat it is brilliant.

Thank you so much Jesse!



This fantastic trailer was made for me by Marisa Wilson


Please view it is spine chillingly good


Thank you so much Marisia!!!




Chapter 1 - Intuition

Chapter 2 - Warning 

Chapter 3 - Hope

Chapter 4 - Plan

Chapter 5 - Escape

Chapter 6 - Journey

Chapter 7 - Motherhood

Chapter 8 - Dreams

Chapter 9 - Calls

Chapter 10 - Danger

Chapter 11 - Fight

Chapter 12 - Inquisition

Chapter 13 - Peace

Chapter 14 - Talents

Chapter 15 - Return

Chapter 16 - Talk

Chapter 17 - Training

Chapter 18 - Together

Chapter 19 - Moods

Chapter 20 - Untruths

Chapter 21 - Departure

Chapter 22 - Unwelcome

Chapter 23 - Drill

Chapter 24 - Arrival

Chapter 25 - Discovered

Chapter 26 - Words

Chapter 27 - Manipulation

Chapter 28 - Consultation

Chapter 29 - Awakening

Chapter 30 - Impass

Chapter 31 - Tale

Chapter 32 - Ancestors

Chapter 33 - Shadows

Chapter 34 - Voice

Chapter 35 - Messages

Chapter 36 - stand-off

Chapter 37 - Patrol

Chapter 38 - Diplomacy

Chapter 39 - Rules 

Chapter 40 - Eyes

Chapter 41 - Disclosure

Chapter 42 - Why

Chapter 43 - Reconciliation

Chapter 44 - Confession

Chapter 45 - Spirit

Chapter 46 - Disbelief

Chapter 47 - Teams

Chapter 48 - Practice

Chapter 49 - Match

Chapter 50 - Betrayal

Chapter 51 - Realization

Chapter 52 - Confrontation

Chapter 53 - Untangling

Chapter 54 - Revelation

Chapter 55 - Postscript

Chapter 1 - Intuition


From the moment I walked through the door I could feel his eyes on me. Boring into me, owning me, watching even the minutest move I made.

I thought that I’d lose this intuition when I became a vampire. But in reality it had just got stronger along with everything else.

I thought for a moment about the one big change that my transformation had made, my thirst. Although I was still young, and the thirst for blood should be overwhelming, I had been able to handle it from the first moment I awoke in my new life.  No one knew why that was. I could cope with human scents even up close, when I should have wanted to drink them dry. The scent caused me physical pain, an intense burning from my nostrils all down my throat, and feeling my throat squeezing tight with the dryness. But it was bearable. This was unusual for a new born. My kind usual manage this much control after a few years. But even with my self control the thirst was still there, the longing for something to put out the dryness.

My mind churned again. My mind could think of so many things at once. The dryness was always one of my thoughts, sometimes near the surface, then moving back into the background.  I could keep all the thoughts in my mind -- juggling two, five, ten thoughts in parallel -- but never mixing them. Like watching ten TV channels at once. Another vampire trait.

Maybe I was just being paranoid. Maybe there was no one looking at me. I still hated attention just as I’d done as a human, I still shied away from it. I was just letting my imagination run away with me again. No one was looking at me. But I could hear his heartbeat six feet to my left, slightly behind where I was standing. He was sitting on a chair next to the loveseat. He was close enough to feel the warmth of his skin in the cool of the morning air. I could smell the strong scent of the skin pouch he wore round his neck. A smell that forced out every lesser smell from that part of the room, like a car headlamp blinding out a flashlight. It was not just the animal fur with its heavy notes that I could smell, but what was inside it. The herbs and berries that it contained, each type giving a new harmony to the smell. Some sharp, some sweet. Some I knew -- citrus, juniper, cinnamon -- some I had no words for.

Maybe he was just looking at Nessie like everyone else in the room. My four month old daughter was reciting a poem for her audience in her beautiful childish voice, complete with dramatic pauses and carefully characterized accents for the speeches. She was a very advanced four month old. She looked more like a small four year old, but she would have been counted as a genius in any preschool. This was because she was half vampire and half human, and of course could never be allowed in preschool. Her brown hair, with a tinge of bronze that came from Edward, fell down her back in beautiful curls. Her eyes were a warm milk chocolate color that had been mine when I was human, and were now excited by the attention she was receiving. Her complexion was pale with a healthy pink glow of excitement.  We knew now that her rate of growth and progress would slow and she would be fully mature in another 6 and half years, and then live forever.  We’d learned this from Nahuel only two days before. My dark worries of losing Nessie had vanished.  We’d thought we would have to watch our daughter grow old and die in fifteen short years, and we would mourn her for ever.

I didn’t look to check if I was right about Nahuel and his staring. I had caught his eye only once that morning, when we came in and gave the usual greeting to our family and their two remaining guests.

I still didn’t understand why these guest were still here. Yes, I was grateful to them, especially him. So grateful it hurt. He had saved us all: my daughter, my husband, my vampire family, my wolf friends, and me. And he put himself and his father and his sisters in danger. How could I not be grateful to him. We all were.

I’d asked Edward twice why they had not left with the other guests after the standoff with the Volturi. The first time was after the celebrations when all the other guests had left and we had taken Nessie back to our cottage to sleep in her own bed. This was the first day that we’d met them, the first day of the stares. Edward had given his answer, saying Nahuel was so glad to know that a family like ours could exist. A family with a half vampire child, the only one Nahuel knew of that was not related to him, and a surviving mother. Nahuel’s mother died in child birth and so did the mothers of his half sisters.

It is rare to find a vampire who would want a physical relationship with a human woman, even rarer to find a women who survived such an encounter. Her life could end at any moment if he did not concentrate fully on keeping her alive. And what about the outcome of such an encounter? Mortals are not compatible with half vampire babies, the babies are so much stronger than the women.  I had only survived thanks to the care given to me by my vampire family and because Edward changed me into a vampire as soon as the baby was out. The memories of this violent birth were now dimming for me. The vampire venom had mended the terrible damage and left me whole, strong, and beautiful.

According to Edward, Nahuel had spent his long life, over 150 years, thinking he must be evil to the core to have killed his mother. But seeing me set him free from his guilt. He now blamed his father for not caring for his mother as Edward had for me, and for not changing her when Nahuel ripped his way out of her.

The second time I’d asked Edward why Nahuel and his aunt (a full vampire) were still with us, Edward said that they wanted to learn more about our vegetarian lifestyle. This was how we liked to describe our abnormal hunting habits in the Cullen family. Unlike other vampires we only hunted animals, not humans. This gave us distinctive golden eyes which intrigued the normal red-eyed vampires.  When I asked this second time, it was not what Edward had said that set me thinking but the way he said it. If I wasn’t his wife and didn’t know him so well I would not have noticed the slight tightening of his straight shoulders under his tan colored jumper, and that he was holding his perfect jaw a eighth of an inch higher than normal. He was lying to me.

Edward lied a lot. He had to. When you can read the minds of everyone in a mile radius then you have to lie to appear normal. You have to learn to ignore the thoughts most of the time.  You have to answer only the questions people say out loud and not all the far-reaching ones they think in their heads but don’t dare ask. Edward also felt he must not betray confidences of those around him. It was not as though he could stop hearing thoughts if he wanted to, and not as if people could stop thinking when he was around, so he just didn’t pass these thoughts on. I was a shield which meant that he could not read my mind, not even when I was only human.  Now that I was a vampire I had learned to remove my shield if I wanted, but I could only do so for a few moments at a time and even then it was exhausting work.

But why would he lie to me about why Nahuel and Huilen were still here? We had just made it through the worst danger imaginable: the whole of the Volturi forces lined up against us, the judges, jury and executioners of the vampire world. We had survived that, so what now? What was he covering up? Surely we had to have a break from peril sometime.

Maybe bad luck was something that I’d brought with me into this life. Since I met Edward as a human I had always had bad luck. My life before Edward, before my return to Forks to live with my Dad, Charlie, was a quiet life in the big city of Phoenix with my Mom, Renée.  The memory of this former life was becoming hazy, almost a pre life to my human life, as if I was now in my third life, not my second. I’d had too much on my mind to sit down and think about it, though that was the only way my family said that I would remember it for the future.   As I remembered it now, it was a happy but lonely time of looking after my hair-brained mother and being the adult in the relationship even though I was the child. She didn’t need to be looked after in a physical way but in an emotional one, helping her to organize and control her life.  I was the one who made sure we went to the store when we needed groceries and that we went to the bank when the bills needed to be paid.  In many ways you could say I was her keeper rather than her daughter. This role was taken by Phil, her husband of nearly three years.

I argued with myself that I had already brought my shield through to my vampire life along with my strange ability for self control.  I was sure that I could not have brought anything else. I had left my clumsiness behind, which was a truly good thing.  I now moved so fast and was so strong that if I was clumsy lots of things would get broken.  Not just inanimate objects, but living things.  Even people.

I looked over at Edward, to keep my eye from straying to Nahuel. His beauty never failed to amaze me. He was stunning. His eyes were a warm amber color. But this morning more like stone than liquid. Something was bugging him. No doubt he was hearing things he didn’t like. His face muscles twitched slightly and his teeth locked together noiselessly. His smile remained, a facade to keep the others away from his upset within. I had no idea what he had heard or who it was that was having these thoughts, but my mind turned to Nahuel again, though I didn’t let my eyes follow. Edward would tell me when it was right and certainly not in the middle of this gathering.

Edward applauded when Nessie came to the end of her poem, pride now on his face. I felt a jolt of joy at his pride. I was proud of her, naturally, and applauded loudly too. But to have him so in awe of her gave me such a feeling of belonging. I had, in the end, been able to give him something so worthwhile. A daughter, our miracle. It made up for the lack of balance in our relationship. He had given me everything: his love, his life, my new life, money, possessions, a home, a car, a family. But the one thing that that he had never imagined, that none of our vampire family had thought possible, came from me. She was a delight to them all, and especially Edward.

It was only as I turned away from Nessie’s performance that I noticed Alice was staring into thin air, her eyes out of focus, completely still. I knew she was seeing something. My sister’s ability to see into the future was enviable. It had made her top of the Volturi’s list for acquisitions.  It was this ability that had saved the family and herself many times over. The future she saw was only one of the possible outcomes. If decisions that had been made were changed then what she saw would change.

“Demetri is coming,” she said simply in a clear chiming voice, not altering her stance at all. “Aro has decided. He will follow Carlisle to us.”

Carlisle was at her side in an instant. “But why?” he whispered. “Why now?”.

The image of the the Volturi tracker was instantly in my mind. It was not possible for anyone normal to run from Demetri. He had a gift for finding them. But this gift needed access to someone’s mind, and it was something I could block with my shield. As well as being a tracker, Demetri was a warrior, with centuries of experience working with the Volturi.

“But why, Alice?” he asked again.

Alice had gone back into her trance. This time it took her over a minute to come round. “He comes only to observe,” she said with a little relief in her voice. “Aro will order him to stay with us and just observe. He is to watch Nessie grow for Aro and to find out more about the wolves for Caius. He is to cause us no trouble. He will be ordered to hunt like us. Aro wants to see how this will change his character. He is report back regularly by letter. This order will be made at full council the day after tomorrow. He will arrive three days after that.”

She looked around the stunned room.

“Please look for more,” Carlisle urged her.

“Demetri will bring a note with him from Aro but they know that I can see what it says so you will be forewarned. Aro is staring at it so that I can read it...

My Dearest Friend Carlisle,

I am sending my dear one Demetri to visit you as an emissary. I feel that our last meeting left a rift between us which I want to close. I have asked Demetri to learn about your life style and your beloved granddaughter so that we may better understand each other in future.

I ask you to take Demetri into your hearts and your home, and to this end I will ask him to make himself useful to you and cause you no trouble. Please use him as a son.

Yours in friendship,


Carlisle looked aghast. “Is there more?” he said, shaking his head.

Her face returned to the distant mask, but seconds later disgust was clear on it.  She came back to the present again shaking her head. “Uh, that is so gross”.

“I saw part of the inner council meeting that was only the family, no guard. It is so gross.” she said, hardly able to speak for revulsion. “Aro says he wishes to watch a half vampire child develop first hand. He says that he will order Demetri to try to father a child when he has returned from his visit. He laughs and says that he may have learned some restraint from us. The mother is to be the only human they trust, their administrator Gina. They will promise her immortality if she successfully gives birth, but she has no choice. If she says no, she’s lunch. He says it will be a great honor for Demetri to father a child to be brought up and studied in Volterra. Caius is against the idea, the decision will be put off until a later date... I can’t see further than that, I’m not attuned to them, I can’t see so far ahead into their futures, I can’t see if she will become pregnant or if they will kill her, it is many months away, it may change.”

There was stunned silence.

All the joy after the last successful encounter with the Volturi was gone.

Then the speculation started. Alice could see the event but not the motivation behind it. It boiled down to three simple questions: why this? why now? and why Demetri? A dozen answers to each question came from the gathered family.  The most likely answer was that they wanted to catch us doing something against the rules as soon as possible, and Demetri can stand up for himself.

The others gave little thought to the planned baby. It was beyond the immediate worry and didn’t affect us personally. But my mind was on Gina and how I could help her.  I had only just survived my own pregnancy and I had had good medical care and love from all my family. I felt cold, cold to the heart.

Had I started some new vampire fashion? Would lots of vampire males want to father children? And what of the vampire females, would they want to become stepmothers? I thought of the loss of human life. I thought of Gina.

I found myself a spot on the floor and sat there still, shocked, horrified.

The discussion went on for nearly an hour, until Carlisle looked at the clock and said that he had to go for his shift at the hospital.

He turned to our guests, “Nahuel, Huilen. It may be best if you were not here when Demetri comes to call. I do not wish to ask you to leave but for your own safety I must ask you to think about what you want to do.  You know you have our thanks for what you have done for us, and I owe you for the safety of all my family. You are welcome here at any normal time.”

It was Huilen who spoke this time. She spoke simply in her heavy accent. “We will leave before he arrives.”

Carlisle smiled warmly at her. “That is for the best. We can visit you before long, and maybe meet Nahuel’s sisters if that is possible.”

The others continued to speculate after Carlisle had gone, Emmett debating with Jasper the possibility of beating Demetri in a fight. Jasper thought that if there were several of us it may be possible, but it would only bring the rest of the guard down on us, a battle which we would not win this time.

Alice touched me lightly on the arm, tutting at my pants and jumper combination. My favorite sister was never happy with my lack of fashion sense. But she could see the future, and would have known the day before about this particular lapse of mine. I thought to myself that I would suggest to her that she warns me in advance next time, so that I don’t disappoint her again.

“You know, I thought you would have learned a little by now Bella,” she chided quietly. “I will just have to take you back to your cottage and show you how to match up those pants myself. I didn’t spend weeks putting together your wardrobe for you to use it like this.”


That morning I must have really gotten under her skin. How could she care so much about fashion when she’d just given us the news about Demetri? Really. It made no sense.

I looked down at my outfit. It didn’t look that bad to me. I’d made sure that some of the threads in the jumper were exactly the same tone as the pants, but if it made her happy we could be home and back in a very short time. A few minutes out of the house would do me some good.

“Edward,” she chimed. “I’m taking Bella back to your cottage, can you look after Nessie by yourself?” The look on her face one of great effort.

He smiled warmly at her. “By myself? I don’t think that I will ever be allowed to look after Nessie by myself. She has too many fans for that.” He looked quizzically at her while he made his answer, as if they were having another inaudible conversation but failing to understand each other.

It was true. Most of the room were watching Nessie again, just waiting to see what she would do next, fascinated by her. Her Aunt Rose and Grandma Esme sat on the floor with her.

“We’ll see you soon,” Alice chimed again, wincing with effort, like a small child trying to remember a really difficult times table sum.

As soon as she said this I looked around the gathering to smile a normal goodbye. Then I saw him, Nahuel. He was staring at me. Staring at me with total adoration in his eyes as if I were the only thing he could see in the world.  The only thing he had ever seen. Like a blind man seeing the sun for the first time.

Oh no... no please no, I screamed inside my head. My face turned from a smile to sheer dread, his calm face turning from adoration to puzzlement at my expression.

Edward stiffened beside me, but said nothing.

Alice tugged my sleeve and we were off through the patio doors at the rear of the house,  running back to my cottage hand in hand. I was only too glad to go, and Alice's excuse was perfect.

As soon as we were over the river she said in a very hushed voice, “Shield me, stop him reading my mind.”


New posting Chapter 55 - Postscript

Tags: Bella, Chris, Cold, Edward, Gray, Jasper, Light, Sequel, Twilight

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Chapter 27 - Manipulation

Jasper had not quite managed to take me by surprise but his speed of arrival was unexpected. He looked, as ever, like a brooding movie star.

“I heard the kettle being put on,” he said.

“I can feel your upset. Do you want to talk about it? Is there a problem with Nessie?”

“No, no, Nessie’s fine, it’s ... it’s me.”

I felt him force calm over me. It stopped me bursting into tears again, for which I was truly thankful, but it didn’t take away the chill I felt in my body. My friend there for me when I need him. My rock.

“I’m just  … I’m just so useless and stupid. I do everything wrong. I can’t even be a vampire properly.”

“Why have you made a mug of hot chocolate? There aren’t any humans here.”

“I wanted to feel the heat in my hands and smell the chocolate. I use to drink it at my mother’s house every night, I just want the comfort of it.”

Jasper sat on the only other bar stool which was opposite mine. We sat for a minute in silence, me with hand wrapped around the mug smelling the steam and chocolate scents, him just watching me.

The only time I glanced at him, just for a second, I noticed he looked relaxed, confident, like a man who knew what his day would bring and was looking forward to it. I wished I could feel that way.

The calm started to penetrate through me, I became more able to take a longer view.  “This does smell good, we never had such a quality brand at Renee’s house … Things were so simple back then, a bad day put right with a mug of chocolate. Now things are just so much more complicated and I can’t keep up.”

Another minute's silence. Jasper pushed more calm on to me, like a warm dressing gown on a cold morning, taking away the fear of getting on with the day. I was beginning to relax now too.

“Edward is a fool,” Jasper said quietly.

“What? Why do you say that?”

I’d never heard anyone say that about him before, least of all someone in his family.

“Why else would he upset you like this?”

“No, it was my fault. He was just pointing out the issues that my recent football practice had caused. How could I have been so reckless?”

“Bella,” a sad smile playing on his face, “what exactly do you think that you’ve done? What is he accusing you of?”

I felt the need to open up to Jasper, to tell him my hurt. I thought then of what Esme had said to me, that she thought that Jasper had fallen for me too. I thought of the clearing, of the feeling of longing that had shot through me. I still didn’t understand where that feeling had come from, it could so easily have been me being caught up in the moment.  I knew I should be careful whoever it came from. This breakfast discussion wasn’t helping me keep my distance from him as I ought. But I felt the need to talk to him so strongly. I wondered if he was making me feel that way, but this wasn't a normal emotional response that he could manipulate. Or was it? I knew I ought to get off the chair and go find Alice or Esme but I couldn’t find the will to do it. It was Jasper I wanted to talk to.

“Tell me about it,” he said. “Maybe I will be able to explain his point of view from a male perspective. I think I know how Edward ticks pretty well by now.”

And of course he was right. That's what I needed, a brother to help me understand why Edward was so disappointed in me. I started the words tripping out of my mouth so fast I couldn’t stop to think.

“He said that it was my fault that Demetri found out that Alice can’t see the wolves and that he knows the wolves are more vulnerable in human form, he says that he will use this information against us somehow. He thinks that I am careless and self-centered. Just a child.”

“And you think that he is right?”


He talked in a calm low voice, taking time to make his points, “Bella, we all know that Demetri is here to find out information about us, it is his mission. Carlisle has asked us to be honest and open with him and I believe that he is correct in this strategy. When I came into the clearing yesterday morning I felt Demetri's emotions. They were simple, he was enjoying himself, he was enjoying the game and the company. His feelings were very positive towards all of you. He wasn’t feeling that you were hiding things or being aggressive which could have been much more damaging to us all in the end.

“I think Edward’s reactions are less to do with yesterday’s soccer and more to do with jealousy. It was going to come to a head one day. And this really isn’t your fault. He just can’t stand the way some other men feel about you. His mood goes very black whenever he hears certain people's thoughts. It’s worse if you are present and the thoughts are directed at you in person, rather than anything more vague.  And when you asked Jacob for help, even though it was only football practice, it was enough to set off all those jealous thoughts about Jacob again.”

“But Jake isn’t in the slightest bit interested in me at all, not in that way, not now.“

“Yes, I know,” he gave a slight laugh, “he is so completely drawn to Nessie that other people don’t get much of a thought now. I think it was more the memory of the jealousy coming back and moving from Jacob to others. He finds it hard he has so many rivals, Nahuel, Emmett and others.”

“Jasper, do we need to talk about this?” I asked, suddenly feeling uncomfortable about the turn in conversation. This situation was too intimate - just the two of us sat in the kitchen, no one else about. Again I knew I should get up and walk away, but as soon as I’d reached this conclusion Jasper fed warm and soothing emotions to me, making it impossible to leave.

“Bella,” Jasper reached over the counter between us, putting his hands on either side of my head and lifting it to try to look into my eyes, but in an almost childish gesture I refused to engage his gaze and stubbornly looked down out of the window. In truth I was just trying to avoid him seeing the mess that my eyes were in. When I had checked myself in the mirror before I left the cottage, the usual purple bruising under my eyes had been replaced by puffy redness from the crying. I’d hoped that the cold air and animal blood had lessened this effect, but I certainly didn’t want close inspection. I didn’t want him to know about the tears.

“Yes, we need to talk about this. I’ve been needing to talk about this for months but I’ve been holding back not wanting to interfere in your life when I know it is wrong to do so.”

As Jasper talked I felt loved and acceptance, no longer a burden as I obviously was to Edward. The feeling washing over me like sliding into the most wonderful hot bath ever.

“Bella, you are having a strong effect on some of the men in the household. I can feel their love for you whenever you are close to them. I feel their guilt too. They know it’s wrong but they can’t help it, you are like their planet and they are the moons orbiting around you. They are helpless to do anything but stay on this course.”

I had the distinct impression that we weren’t talking about Nahuel or Emmett at all. More feelings of calm came through his hands into my head and then over the rest of my body to quell the panic that had risen in me, the urge to run stopped before it could take effect.

“Jasper, please don’t say such things, it’s wrong,” I pleaded quietly. My head was hazy but not as bad as the rest of my body. I forced myself to get the words out before the situation turned into something I truly regretted.

“Please don’t even think thoughts like that,” I continued. “These thoughts of love that they have for me are not truly theirs.  It is not their fault that they have these thoughts but we must convince them to fight them. I wish I could explain but I can’t. It wouldn’t be safe for you if I explained why.”

“No, Bella, there is nothing you need to explain. It is quite natural they have fallen in love with you, it is quite simple. Wrong and sinful to think of a brother’s wife in such a way, but quite natural. You know it is possible to love two people at once. Emmett has not lessened his love for Rose by one ounce but he has fallen so in love with you it is hurting him very badly.”

I knew then that we weren’t really talking about Emmett at all, and he was just trying to disguise our conversation for Alice’s sake. And I was also sure that she would see right through it.

I concentrated really hard and forced myself to maneuver out of his grasp. As soon as I was free the emotions he was pushing towards me felt less intense. But I missed them, like turning off a hot shower in a cold bathroom.

“Jasper, think of Alice,” I hissed.

“I always think of Alice, she is always in my heart,” he said simply. “What has she to do with Emmett?”

He was deluding himself big time if he thought that would work on her.

“Jasper, I’m telling you the truth, you can’t trust your thoughts on this, they are not your own. You must fight them for yourself, for Alice.”

“Do you know where she is now? Off with Esme, Demetri and Jacob, they wanted to keep it low key and informal. They are showing the border to Demetri. She left me here. She said that you may need a friend when you got here but that she couldn’t see any more than that because the wolf blanked her vision. She can see nothing at the moment.”

He took hold of my hand and again the feeling intensified, this time not only calm but love and  longing. This time he said nothing and I mistakenly looked deep into his eyes.

I felt a flash of realization from Jasper, but only for a moment, “Ah, so I was right, that is the reason … you are …” he began, the feeling was almost … fear?

“I am what?”

“You are … you are what you are,” he replied “…  but I don’t care.” The last phase he said with resignation, as if he ought to care and do something about whatever it was he thought I was. He looked deep into my eyes and put his other hand on top of the hand he was holding.

“Jasper, I don’t understand, please tell me.”

His pushed feelings had turned back to love and longing and I was having difficulty being coherent.

“Bella, I know what you are ... who you are, and I accept all that it brings.”

His odd words confused me. “Jasper ... what?”

“Hush now ... Everything is going to be OK.”

The feelings of longing, although unwanted, were quickly working on my body and taking hold of my mind. I wanted so much to be in his arms, to have him hold me while I sobbed. For him to calm me and hold me.

My feelings started to slowly change from the need to be comforted, just to be held by him, to be close ... closer still, to have his lips on me. The idea of just staying where I was, sitting in my seat, looking across at him, seemed unbearable. I couldn’t stand the counter being between us anymore.

I didn’t understand why I was spiraling so out of control like this, why I was having such dangerous fantasies.

I tried to concentrate hard and one of my thoughts managed to hold together … I suddenly understood. These emotions weren’t my emotions and they were causing these wrong thoughts. I was being manipulated. Was this something he’d done before to other? How many times? Was this his MO? Is this how he’d controlled the female newborns for decades?

More love came and longing and lust washed though me.

I was losing my grip on the situation. I’d no idea that Jasper was this dangerous. I fought back in my head like I had to when I was human and Edward was close to me. I was trying to think of a way to get him to stop without either of us getting hurt physically or emotionally, but I was coming up blank. As I thought this, the idea of being with Jasper was becoming more and more appealing. My body was pulling me to go with him but my one remaining clear though was screaming to stop.

Suddenly Jasper dropped my hand.

“Bella, I’m so sorry. I should not have done that to you. Forgive me, please.”

I was bewildered. Extremely thankful, but bewildered. The emotions he was forcing on me were gone, leaving me feeling empty and blank, rejected in a way. Then it hit. I felt the guilt, so guilty this was my fault. I felt unclean as if I was contaminated, as if I’d allowed this other man to play with my emotions.

I wanted the comfort and love back but not the motivation behind it. I wanted the love to come from Edward not Jasper.

“Jasper, please don’t do that again ... it is wrong.”

“I know, I promise you I won’t. I don’t know why I did. I have no excuse for what I was doing.”

His face was pained with guilt.

“Please listen to me Jasper. These thoughts are lies. We must all fight them before they destroy us as a family!”

I was shaking with the stresses of the emotions that had come and gone through me, the worry of how close to disaster the situation had taken us, the worry of what Alice had seen and how she was going to take it and the worry that Jasper was still in the room and although he had said that he wouldn’t do it again, I had no way of knowing for certain. I couldn’t afford to have Jasper as an enemy. He was too lethal.

I’d not been scared of Jasper since I was human, but now I was again. The one person I thought was truly my friend betraying me this way was heartbreaking. My rock gone, turned against me.

At that moment we heard a vehicle turn from the road up the drive towards the house, Carlisle’s car. Jasper stood up and walked over to the window to look out on the forest. The space between us eased my worries and discomfort. I’d be safe in a few short seconds.  We stayed motionless, lost for things to say. I could feel Jasper’s own heightened feelings now, of guilt and of frustration. And of fear.

End of Chapter 27 - Manipulation


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thank you for the picture. It looks sad like Bella.

best wishes


Things are getting more and more complicated for poor Bella. Now she has to keep her distance from Jasper too! Does he know something about what she is or can do? What will happen with Alice and Edward and the rest of the family? I really hope Bella can find a way to handle the whole situation and repair her relationship with Edward. Fear and guilt are negative emotions that won't help her. Is there someone who can guide her in the right direction before things fall apart, or is it already happening? Can she find the strength within herself to take control of the situation and change things in a positive way? Let's see what happens next!

Hi Seugnet,

Thank you very much for your comment.

It very acurately describes the trouble Bella is in. She feels betrayed by Jasper.And as you say the fear and guilt will do nothing to help her. She shouldn't have to put up with emotional abuse from within her family.

Maybe Carlisle will be of some reassurance to her. Although will she tell him what is really bothering her?

I hope that you didn't find the chapter to shocking, I know I may have upset a few Jasper fans. But as I always say, he didn't have a good upbringing like the rest of the Cullens, he is damaged - but is he beyond repair?

Best wishes


wat had jasper done....,

wat'll happen if edward heard his thoughts....,

poor edward..,hw can he handle dat....,

he cant do anything wid jas...can he...???????

nd im really sry 4 bella...,betrayed by her brother.....,

hpe all is well.....,


Hi Saranya,

thanks for the comment.

This has the potential to really break the family up if not handle well by both Jasper and Bella.

Bella has lost the person she thought was her friend - that can't be good for her.

But she shouldn't have to put up with emotional abuse like that.

Thank you for reading.

Best wishes




Omg that was amazing please continue

OMG!!! Why Jasper?!! He's happy with Alice!! 

Poor Bella!! She doesn't know what to do!!!

Amazing chapter!!! Can't wait for more!! 

thank you for the new Jaspere was so dangerous...........until you post again


Hi Robyn,

thanks for the comment,

I see Jasper as a very damaged man. Alice has given him hope and has managed to heal him a lot but when there is something or in this case someone he wants badly he will revert to the vampire he use to be.

I don't believe that he and Maria had a beautiful monogamous relationship. Everything was a weapon in the southern wars including relationships.

Best wishes


Hi Rachel,

thank you for the comment.

This incident does put Bella in a really tricky situation - did Alice see? Will Jasper be able to keep it from Edward?

Does Bella want to make it known and split the family up over it? Will he do it again?

And why did he stop?

I think of what he was doing as emotional abuse but was it?

And worse of all she thought of him as her one true friend - the one whoes feelings for her weren't manipulated.

Best wishes



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