Bella’s happily ever after lasted two days. This is Bella’s own account of what happened after Breaking Dawn, her growing understanding of her powers, her battle to remain with the man she loves, finding her place in her new family, and the ever-present threat of the Volturi.
New posting Chapter 55 - Postscript
Cold Gray Light
Please view the new trailer by Jesse Desplat it is brilliant.
Thank you so much Jesse!
This fantastic trailer was made for me by Marisa Wilson
Please view it is spine chillingly good
Thank you so much Marisia!!!
From the moment I walked through the door I could feel his eyes on me. Boring into me, owning me, watching even the minutest move I made.
I thought that I’d lose this intuition when I became a vampire. But in reality it had just got stronger along with everything else.
I thought for a moment about the one big change that my transformation had made, my thirst. Although I was still young, and the thirst for blood should be overwhelming, I had been able to handle it from the first moment I awoke in my new life. No one knew why that was. I could cope with human scents even up close, when I should have wanted to drink them dry. The scent caused me physical pain, an intense burning from my nostrils all down my throat, and feeling my throat squeezing tight with the dryness. But it was bearable. This was unusual for a new born. My kind usual manage this much control after a few years. But even with my self control the thirst was still there, the longing for something to put out the dryness.
My mind churned again. My mind could think of so many things at once. The dryness was always one of my thoughts, sometimes near the surface, then moving back into the background. I could keep all the thoughts in my mind -- juggling two, five, ten thoughts in parallel -- but never mixing them. Like watching ten TV channels at once. Another vampire trait.
Maybe I was just being paranoid. Maybe there was no one looking at me. I still hated attention just as I’d done as a human, I still shied away from it. I was just letting my imagination run away with me again. No one was looking at me. But I could hear his heartbeat six feet to my left, slightly behind where I was standing. He was sitting on a chair next to the loveseat. He was close enough to feel the warmth of his skin in the cool of the morning air. I could smell the strong scent of the skin pouch he wore round his neck. A smell that forced out every lesser smell from that part of the room, like a car headlamp blinding out a flashlight. It was not just the animal fur with its heavy notes that I could smell, but what was inside it. The herbs and berries that it contained, each type giving a new harmony to the smell. Some sharp, some sweet. Some I knew -- citrus, juniper, cinnamon -- some I had no words for.
Maybe he was just looking at Nessie like everyone else in the room. My four month old daughter was reciting a poem for her audience in her beautiful childish voice, complete with dramatic pauses and carefully characterized accents for the speeches. She was a very advanced four month old. She looked more like a small four year old, but she would have been counted as a genius in any preschool. This was because she was half vampire and half human, and of course could never be allowed in preschool. Her brown hair, with a tinge of bronze that came from Edward, fell down her back in beautiful curls. Her eyes were a warm milk chocolate color that had been mine when I was human, and were now excited by the attention she was receiving. Her complexion was pale with a healthy pink glow of excitement. We knew now that her rate of growth and progress would slow and she would be fully mature in another 6 and half years, and then live forever. We’d learned this from Nahuel only two days before. My dark worries of losing Nessie had vanished. We’d thought we would have to watch our daughter grow old and die in fifteen short years, and we would mourn her for ever.
I didn’t look to check if I was right about Nahuel and his staring. I had caught his eye only once that morning, when we came in and gave the usual greeting to our family and their two remaining guests.
I still didn’t understand why these guest were still here. Yes, I was grateful to them, especially him. So grateful it hurt. He had saved us all: my daughter, my husband, my vampire family, my wolf friends, and me. And he put himself and his father and his sisters in danger. How could I not be grateful to him. We all were.
I’d asked Edward twice why they had not left with the other guests after the standoff with the Volturi. The first time was after the celebrations when all the other guests had left and we had taken Nessie back to our cottage to sleep in her own bed. This was the first day that we’d met them, the first day of the stares. Edward had given his answer, saying Nahuel was so glad to know that a family like ours could exist. A family with a half vampire child, the only one Nahuel knew of that was not related to him, and a surviving mother. Nahuel’s mother died in child birth and so did the mothers of his half sisters.
It is rare to find a vampire who would want a physical relationship with a human woman, even rarer to find a women who survived such an encounter. Her life could end at any moment if he did not concentrate fully on keeping her alive. And what about the outcome of such an encounter? Mortals are not compatible with half vampire babies, the babies are so much stronger than the women. I had only survived thanks to the care given to me by my vampire family and because Edward changed me into a vampire as soon as the baby was out. The memories of this violent birth were now dimming for me. The vampire venom had mended the terrible damage and left me whole, strong, and beautiful.
According to Edward, Nahuel had spent his long life, over 150 years, thinking he must be evil to the core to have killed his mother. But seeing me set him free from his guilt. He now blamed his father for not caring for his mother as Edward had for me, and for not changing her when Nahuel ripped his way out of her.
The second time I’d asked Edward why Nahuel and his aunt (a full vampire) were still with us, Edward said that they wanted to learn more about our vegetarian lifestyle. This was how we liked to describe our abnormal hunting habits in the Cullen family. Unlike other vampires we only hunted animals, not humans. This gave us distinctive golden eyes which intrigued the normal red-eyed vampires. When I asked this second time, it was not what Edward had said that set me thinking but the way he said it. If I wasn’t his wife and didn’t know him so well I would not have noticed the slight tightening of his straight shoulders under his tan colored jumper, and that he was holding his perfect jaw a eighth of an inch higher than normal. He was lying to me.
Edward lied a lot. He had to. When you can read the minds of everyone in a mile radius then you have to lie to appear normal. You have to learn to ignore the thoughts most of the time. You have to answer only the questions people say out loud and not all the far-reaching ones they think in their heads but don’t dare ask. Edward also felt he must not betray confidences of those around him. It was not as though he could stop hearing thoughts if he wanted to, and not as if people could stop thinking when he was around, so he just didn’t pass these thoughts on. I was a shield which meant that he could not read my mind, not even when I was only human. Now that I was a vampire I had learned to remove my shield if I wanted, but I could only do so for a few moments at a time and even then it was exhausting work.
But why would he lie to me about why Nahuel and Huilen were still here? We had just made it through the worst danger imaginable: the whole of the Volturi forces lined up against us, the judges, jury and executioners of the vampire world. We had survived that, so what now? What was he covering up? Surely we had to have a break from peril sometime.
Maybe bad luck was something that I’d brought with me into this life. Since I met Edward as a human I had always had bad luck. My life before Edward, before my return to Forks to live with my Dad, Charlie, was a quiet life in the big city of Phoenix with my Mom, Renée. The memory of this former life was becoming hazy, almost a pre life to my human life, as if I was now in my third life, not my second. I’d had too much on my mind to sit down and think about it, though that was the only way my family said that I would remember it for the future. As I remembered it now, it was a happy but lonely time of looking after my hair-brained mother and being the adult in the relationship even though I was the child. She didn’t need to be looked after in a physical way but in an emotional one, helping her to organize and control her life. I was the one who made sure we went to the store when we needed groceries and that we went to the bank when the bills needed to be paid. In many ways you could say I was her keeper rather than her daughter. This role was taken by Phil, her husband of nearly three years.
I argued with myself that I had already brought my shield through to my vampire life along with my strange ability for self control. I was sure that I could not have brought anything else. I had left my clumsiness behind, which was a truly good thing. I now moved so fast and was so strong that if I was clumsy lots of things would get broken. Not just inanimate objects, but living things. Even people.
I looked over at Edward, to keep my eye from straying to Nahuel. His beauty never failed to amaze me. He was stunning. His eyes were a warm amber color. But this morning more like stone than liquid. Something was bugging him. No doubt he was hearing things he didn’t like. His face muscles twitched slightly and his teeth locked together noiselessly. His smile remained, a facade to keep the others away from his upset within. I had no idea what he had heard or who it was that was having these thoughts, but my mind turned to Nahuel again, though I didn’t let my eyes follow. Edward would tell me when it was right and certainly not in the middle of this gathering.
Edward applauded when Nessie came to the end of her poem, pride now on his face. I felt a jolt of joy at his pride. I was proud of her, naturally, and applauded loudly too. But to have him so in awe of her gave me such a feeling of belonging. I had, in the end, been able to give him something so worthwhile. A daughter, our miracle. It made up for the lack of balance in our relationship. He had given me everything: his love, his life, my new life, money, possessions, a home, a car, a family. But the one thing that that he had never imagined, that none of our vampire family had thought possible, came from me. She was a delight to them all, and especially Edward.
It was only as I turned away from Nessie’s performance that I noticed Alice was staring into thin air, her eyes out of focus, completely still. I knew she was seeing something. My sister’s ability to see into the future was enviable. It had made her top of the Volturi’s list for acquisitions. It was this ability that had saved the family and herself many times over. The future she saw was only one of the possible outcomes. If decisions that had been made were changed then what she saw would change.
“Demetri is coming,” she said simply in a clear chiming voice, not altering her stance at all. “Aro has decided. He will follow Carlisle to us.”
Carlisle was at her side in an instant. “But why?” he whispered. “Why now?”.
The image of the the Volturi tracker was instantly in my mind. It was not possible for anyone normal to run from Demetri. He had a gift for finding them. But this gift needed access to someone’s mind, and it was something I could block with my shield. As well as being a tracker, Demetri was a warrior, with centuries of experience working with the Volturi.
“But why, Alice?” he asked again.
Alice had gone back into her trance. This time it took her over a minute to come round. “He comes only to observe,” she said with a little relief in her voice. “Aro will order him to stay with us and just observe. He is to watch Nessie grow for Aro and to find out more about the wolves for Caius. He is to cause us no trouble. He will be ordered to hunt like us. Aro wants to see how this will change his character. He is report back regularly by letter. This order will be made at full council the day after tomorrow. He will arrive three days after that.”
She looked around the stunned room.
“Please look for more,” Carlisle urged her.
“Demetri will bring a note with him from Aro but they know that I can see what it says so you will be forewarned. Aro is staring at it so that I can read it...
My Dearest Friend Carlisle,
I am sending my dear one Demetri to visit you as an emissary. I feel that our last meeting left a rift between us which I want to close. I have asked Demetri to learn about your life style and your beloved granddaughter so that we may better understand each other in future.
I ask you to take Demetri into your hearts and your home, and to this end I will ask him to make himself useful to you and cause you no trouble. Please use him as a son.
Yours in friendship,
Carlisle looked aghast. “Is there more?” he said, shaking his head.
Her face returned to the distant mask, but seconds later disgust was clear on it. She came back to the present again shaking her head. “Uh, that is so gross”.
“I saw part of the inner council meeting that was only the family, no guard. It is so gross.” she said, hardly able to speak for revulsion. “Aro says he wishes to watch a half vampire child develop first hand. He says that he will order Demetri to try to father a child when he has returned from his visit. He laughs and says that he may have learned some restraint from us. The mother is to be the only human they trust, their administrator Gina. They will promise her immortality if she successfully gives birth, but she has no choice. If she says no, she’s lunch. He says it will be a great honor for Demetri to father a child to be brought up and studied in Volterra. Caius is against the idea, the decision will be put off until a later date... I can’t see further than that, I’m not attuned to them, I can’t see so far ahead into their futures, I can’t see if she will become pregnant or if they will kill her, it is many months away, it may change.”
There was stunned silence.
All the joy after the last successful encounter with the Volturi was gone.
Then the speculation started. Alice could see the event but not the motivation behind it. It boiled down to three simple questions: why this? why now? and why Demetri? A dozen answers to each question came from the gathered family. The most likely answer was that they wanted to catch us doing something against the rules as soon as possible, and Demetri can stand up for himself.
The others gave little thought to the planned baby. It was beyond the immediate worry and didn’t affect us personally. But my mind was on Gina and how I could help her. I had only just survived my own pregnancy and I had had good medical care and love from all my family. I felt cold, cold to the heart.
Had I started some new vampire fashion? Would lots of vampire males want to father children? And what of the vampire females, would they want to become stepmothers? I thought of the loss of human life. I thought of Gina.
I found myself a spot on the floor and sat there still, shocked, horrified.
The discussion went on for nearly an hour, until Carlisle looked at the clock and said that he had to go for his shift at the hospital.
He turned to our guests, “Nahuel, Huilen. It may be best if you were not here when Demetri comes to call. I do not wish to ask you to leave but for your own safety I must ask you to think about what you want to do. You know you have our thanks for what you have done for us, and I owe you for the safety of all my family. You are welcome here at any normal time.”
It was Huilen who spoke this time. She spoke simply in her heavy accent. “We will leave before he arrives.”
Carlisle smiled warmly at her. “That is for the best. We can visit you before long, and maybe meet Nahuel’s sisters if that is possible.”
The others continued to speculate after Carlisle had gone, Emmett debating with Jasper the possibility of beating Demetri in a fight. Jasper thought that if there were several of us it may be possible, but it would only bring the rest of the guard down on us, a battle which we would not win this time.
Alice touched me lightly on the arm, tutting at my pants and jumper combination. My favorite sister was never happy with my lack of fashion sense. But she could see the future, and would have known the day before about this particular lapse of mine. I thought to myself that I would suggest to her that she warns me in advance next time, so that I don’t disappoint her again.
“You know, I thought you would have learned a little by now Bella,” she chided quietly. “I will just have to take you back to your cottage and show you how to match up those pants myself. I didn’t spend weeks putting together your wardrobe for you to use it like this.”
That morning I must have really gotten under her skin. How could she care so much about fashion when she’d just given us the news about Demetri? Really. It made no sense.
I looked down at my outfit. It didn’t look that bad to me. I’d made sure that some of the threads in the jumper were exactly the same tone as the pants, but if it made her happy we could be home and back in a very short time. A few minutes out of the house would do me some good.
“Edward,” she chimed. “I’m taking Bella back to your cottage, can you look after Nessie by yourself?” The look on her face one of great effort.
He smiled warmly at her. “By myself? I don’t think that I will ever be allowed to look after Nessie by myself. She has too many fans for that.” He looked quizzically at her while he made his answer, as if they were having another inaudible conversation but failing to understand each other.
It was true. Most of the room were watching Nessie again, just waiting to see what she would do next, fascinated by her. Her Aunt Rose and Grandma Esme sat on the floor with her.
“We’ll see you soon,” Alice chimed again, wincing with effort, like a small child trying to remember a really difficult times table sum.
As soon as she said this I looked around the gathering to smile a normal goodbye. Then I saw him, Nahuel. He was staring at me. Staring at me with total adoration in his eyes as if I were the only thing he could see in the world. The only thing he had ever seen. Like a blind man seeing the sun for the first time.
Oh no... no please no, I screamed inside my head. My face turned from a smile to sheer dread, his calm face turning from adoration to puzzlement at my expression.
Edward stiffened beside me, but said nothing.
Alice tugged my sleeve and we were off through the patio doors at the rear of the house, running back to my cottage hand in hand. I was only too glad to go, and Alice's excuse was perfect.
As soon as we were over the river she said in a very hushed voice, “Shield me, stop him reading my mind.”
New posting Chapter 55 - Postscript
love the update! this story is great!
thank you for the update...............Paul always so hotheaded......wants to impress, never gonna happen.....until you post again
Thank you for your comment.
Paul is a fool, he could have got all the subpack killed for no good reason - is it any wonder that Jacob outshines him.
I don't know how forgiving Billy and Rachel are. Hopefully he'll be a little more careful from now on.
thanks for the comment.
Are you a soccer fan? Or would you agree with Bella that it was going to be a very very long evening?
********************************* Help needed ******************************************************************
I would love to ask Jesse to edit a trailer for this story but I need to be able to suggest an actor to use as Fred as he is not in any of the twilight films.
Do you have any ideas.
He must be:-
Fairly Thin - well not muscular like Emmett
Have a very friendly smile
Appear to be a happy, sunny person
If you can think of any actor in any film that fits the bill please let me know.
William Moseley is tall, he has darker blonde. He is 25. He is very handsome as well. And he is from the Narnia films the best films to use is Narnia: Prince Caspian. he is barely in Voyage of the Dawn Treader, just a few scenes with him in it. He is has a cute smile and seems happy person :)
thanks for the suggestion - yes I think that he would be just the right sort of person and some of his recent interviews may be the best place to get footage.
I think I need recent shots of him where he is looking a little older than in some of the earlier movies. But I think the interviews would work well as at least he is in modern clothes.
You are right has seems to have a lovely big warm smile - just what is needed for Fred.
You're welcome, I pictured him as Fred anyways and when you asked for help so I thought why not suggest it lol
Can I make you a trailer also? You could give me dialog and everything. You can see some videos i have done here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=otodBI4hxXA&feature=plcp and here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3gpVGz8tuYo&feature=plcp
P.S I updated my story
I would love you to make me a trailer as well. Thank you for offering.
I'm afraid that I'm going to have to watch your trailers when I return from vacation as internet here is expensive and very very slow.
I'm sure that we can come up with different bits of the plot to put in your trailer - I have a lot of plot in the story - far, far too much!
I'd be sorry to have to tell you the ending of the story. I have done this for Jesse but it won't be so much fun for her to read now. It really spoils it as a reading experiance.
Thank you again for the offer.
After a couple of hours of discussion the rules and pitch layout were agreed, and just needed some fine tuning. In the end I was glad I had been there for some of it. I managed to persuade them that safety strips would be needed between the vampire and wolf areas. This had eased my worries considerably.
I’d also managed to influence the rules to use yellow cards and red cards liberally for incursions into the wrong areas by either wolf or vampire.
They did listen to my anecdote about popping the soccer balls if they are kicked too hard, and plans were made firstly for appropriate disciplining of players who caused this and secondly to buy in a large supply of soccer balls for training and the match. Carlisle tasked Emmett with going to Seattle the next day to visit sports stores to buy up as many as he could. I thought that Carlisle’s suggestion was very apt as if anyone was going to pop more than one soccer ball it was going to be Emmett.
After the offside rule was explained for the third time by Fred and Demetri, this time using chess pieces, my patience was wearing thin. My shield, although still strong and intact, was beginning to irritate me. I thought I’d subtly put my hand on the arm of the chair that Fred was sitting in, but as soon as I moved to do this I saw the whole of Edward’s frame stiffen and I thought better of it and just fidgeted like a human in my seat.
My rescue came when Rose walked in with Nessie. They had been in the garage, Nessie helping Rose with some brake adjustments on Carlisle’s car. Nessie had a little all-in-one boiler suit and had her hair tied back but had managed to get a black oil smudge on her cheek. She looked so cute I could do nothing but grin when I saw her. But this was my cue. It was my job to go clean her up, fix her some food and get her to bed.
But her appearance was enough to bring the discussion to a halt. Jasper, Demetri and Emmett decided to practice some drills at human speed on the front lawn, Fred took the hint and went back to his room, and Edward volunteered to make supper for Nessie while I bathed her.
We decide to stay the night at the main house rather than return to our cottage, mainly because I couldn’t trust Fred unless I was there to shield everyone from his talent. I could see from his face that Edward would so much rather have returned home, but he understood that we, or at least I, had a duty to be there. But this was something we were going to have to get sorted out. I couldn’t be a 24x7 guard. Fred was going to have to stay in his room or in the forest by himself for periods of time through the day. I wondered how thick the walls had to be to stop the talent. Would glass do? Could we build him a small glass room in the main room, like a shower cubicle, where he could be with people but not influence them?
I then started to think about what people would need to do to be safe from me. I didn’t think that just sitting in a glass cubicle would be enough – the chaos I made would need more like four inches of lead, and several yards of concrete, at least. Something was bothering me and I couldn’t put my finger on it. Something Edward had said about Paul’s behaviour. He’d come to his senses and backed down. Why would that bother me? It was a good thing, but still it was nagging at me. A thought kept coming to the surface trying to be heard, but I couldn’t understand. I tried to recall all of Edward’s exact words rather than the ones I’d concentrated on: “Paul wasn’t going to give in until a thought came into his head just move aside and let them through. He didn’t understand what happened because it wasn't Sam's thought, but he still felt he had to obey.”
The phrase just move aside – where had I heard that before? I knew it was recent, but where? As I sorted the dishes into the washer from Nessie’s supper, it hit me. I knew the words because I had thought them. They were my words. They were my words in Paul’s head. The bowl in my hand cracked under the strain of my absent-minded grasp.
“Bella, is everything alright?” Carlisle asked from the breakfast counter, where he was playing mahjong with Nessie.
“I’m sorry Carlisle, I’ll apologize to Esme and find a replacement. I know how fond she is of this set.”
“Don’t worry about that, Bella. I was just worried that you may still be finding the shield stressful.”
“Oh no, it’s not too bad. I was just thinking of the whole situation today, how stupid it was, and it worries me, Carlisle. I worry about playing sport with the wolves. It could go so wrong.”
“Bella, we have to try, we can’t let something like this happen again. The rules we have thought up are going to make it safe, so safe it will probably be too dull for people’s liking, but it is a first step we can offer the wolves. If we can get them to spend more time with us we can show them we aren’t worth fighting. We aren’t their enemies.”
“Could we at least plan to help them with some school work too?” I asked. I’d liked the idea of us being useful to the wolves in a non-physical way. “I’m not sure what help I could be, but I know Edward helps Seth with Spanish and math. Maybe I could help with English homework?”
“I think while we have a visitor your time may be taken up.”
“Umm, yes, I guess you’re right.” This was definitely going to have to be sorted out. “How am I going to hunt?”
“Well, you could take him along. It wouldn’t hurt for him to see how we live. He might show some interest.”
“I’ll have to do that with just him. I couldn’t shield and hunt at the same time.”
“Yes, I see your point. After nearly four centuries I still find it hard to think of anything much when I’m hunting. I’ll make sure that you are given space to do this.”
I knew exactly what he meant without him saying. We both knew that Edward was having a hard time with Fred here, and with my attentions diverted. We both knew that me going off with Fred was not what Edward would like but if it came as a request from Carlisle it would be easier for him to bear. The big picture had to be served too.
“I’ll keep him busy,” was all Carlisle said. It was said with a conspiratorial smile. I was so glad to have him on the same wavelength as me. “I’ll also make sure that you get to go home at night. It is important to have the space, you are still newly married.”
I would have blushed if I were human. It wasn’t something I wanted to discuss, and certainly not with my father-in-law! “It is nice to have time as a smaller family unit,” I managed. At least with Nessie there I knew that the conversation wouldn’t get any more embarrassing.
Carlisle smiled indulgently at me. “We’ll make sure you all get that time.”
I don’t know why I found it so hard. I was supposed to be a grown up. I was supposed to have a physical relationship with my husband but I couldn’t get my head around it. It was as if I hadn’t fully accepted my position and was still denying the self-evident truth of Nessie. So stupid, but so… human?
I took a deep breath and tried to be very grown up. “Shall we work out a schedule for tomorrow, when I’m on guard duty and so on,” I suggested. “That way we can let Fred know, which should be easier for him as well.”
“Great idea. Shall we ask Fred to join us after Nessie has gone to bed?” He then added, in mock alarm, “Ohh Nessie, look at the time, you’ll turn into a white mouse or something!”
“Grandpa, you know that’s not true, I’d rather turn into a wolf anyway, who would want to be a mouse? But I’d like to sleep now, I am very tired, it has been a long day.”
I couldn’t have agreed more with my daughter. I only wished that I would be allowed another sleep, but it seemed unlikely. Maybe if I just lay down with her a while and watched her dreams that would be relaxing.
So I did, but soon Nessie’s dreams gave way to my own. This time I was standing over Paul and again his form was prostrate before me. I knew now what it meant. I had made him act. I had power over him. The scene changed. This time it wasn’t Paul in human form, it was Leah as a wolf. She wasn’t in front of me but to the side of me, her fur raised ready to attack. There was a red aura of fury about her. She was staring at a group of vampires. I leaned forward and whispered in her ear and suddenly her aura changed color from red to pale pink. Her stance relaxed and she almost purred. The object of her view had narrowed. Just one vampire stood there now - Demetri.
“Mommy, don’t be sad! My dream wasn’t sad. Why did you tell me NO!”
“I’m sorry honey, you go back to sleep now. I’ll get up and stop disturbing you. Your dream was beautiful, I was just thinking about something else.”
I left her and went down to find Edward, but it was Jasper I found. He was using the Internet in the study end of the lounge.
I walked over to him and leaned over to the keyboard and typed Has Leah imprinted on Demetri? I seemed the easiest way to have a silent conversation.
She has imprinted but I don’t know on who, I only felt it. Ask Edward.
So this was the undercurrent that was going on today - the thing the wolves knew, Edward knew and Jasper knew. But did Demetri?
Demetri? How do you know? typed Jasper.
I deleted the words in case anyone joined us. I typed, Who knows? Carlisle?
Jasper shook his head.
I put my head in my hand and would have cried if Jasper hadn’t grabbed my forearm and forced a huge wave of calm over me.
Why so sad? What has it to do with you? They imprint, it’s involuntary.
Again the words deleted almost as soon as they were written.
He looked up at me and felt my guilt.
OK, I see.
What do you see? What do you know? I typed.
I knew he knew something. I needed him at least to admit that he knew something. Maybe I could get him to tell me now. I threw my shield over him. I didn’t know where Edward was, but he may have just have been in Carlisle’s study listening to Jasper’s thoughts.
Not here, not now.
Let’s go out in the car.
But I have to look after Fred.
Take him too.
No! Not today, it’s too soon. The others would be suspicious.
Tell me now, please.
No, too dangerous.
I stared him in the eyes. His fingers flew across the keyboard. Although the word only flashed in front of me for a split second before he deleted it, it was etched into my consciousness.
I didn’t even know what it meant. But it frightened me. Was it the name of a vampire disease? Or maybe some ancient vampire?
Esme walked in and Jasper pulled up the next day’s weather forecast onto the screen as she came over to us.
“Bright spells off and on all day, we should check that with Alice,” he improvised. “I think I’ll pop out for some air just in case we can’t get out tomorrow.”
I so wanted to go with him. I wanted to find out what he knew. I want him to explain the word he’d used. But I couldn’t, I was trapped here babysitting Fred with all the ears of my family about me. I was desperate – I would have to look it up on the web when nobody was looking, or wait for a good time to talk to Jasper.
Jasper gave me a smile and just the slightest nod of the head in the direction of the door to show he wanted me to join him. He could feel my frustration no doubt, but I shook my head so slightly that neither gesture would have been large enough for Esme to pick up.
And Jasper was gone, out over the river and into the forest, and with him the knowledge of my powers. I felt cross and it was Fred I felt cross with. I knew I shouldn’t, it wasn’t his fault he needed me, but I stormed up to his room and almost dragged him down to Carlisle’s study to get a schedule sorted for at least the next twenty-four hours.
I’d been right. Edward was in there with his father. He looked happier now as if the time with Carlisle had done him good. Their one-sided conversations did seem to ease his worries. I’m sure he would have picked up on Carlisle’s thoughts of a schedule and our having the following night in the cottage.
Carlisle was very clear with Fred. He made it clear that he was very welcome to stay with us for a period, but that we expected him to do as we asked and if he did not he would be required to leave. Fred was delighted to be allowed to stay and was happy to comply with any restrictions we placed upon him. He apologized again for the trouble he had already caused.
The schedule was set for the next thirty-six hours. It included a couple of slots for training sessions for Fred and a hunting trip in the forest in the middle of the morning. Just the thought of it made me thirsty. I wanted blood, my throat burned for it. The stressful day had used up my energy quickly and I needed more. I could spare hardly a thought for the eight hour slot free of Fred that Carlisle had given me overnight. Edward gave a smug smile when he saw Carlisle write this, but the time I need was not just eight hours with Edward, which of course I valued, but I needed five minutes alone with Jasper, and I couldn’t see how I was going to get it.
End of Chapter 39 - Rules