The Twilight Saga

Due to popular demand, threats and many requests...[Mainly from Lian - my Editor and BFF BEE, my Big Sister Chani, my Sweet Little Sister Riah and my Dancing Queen Carlyn...as well as many other of you who have sent me lots of messages!] LOL...

I have decided to Write the rest of New Moon from Edward's POV! Continuing from My last Fan Fic -New Moon Chapter 3 - The End. Edward's POV (http://www.thetwilightsaga.com/group/fanfiction/forum/topics/new-mo...)

Myself and Lian have called the whole book...."DARK MOON"
To express the fact that his sky was empty after he left Bella.

We hope you like the Next Chapter!
Leave comments!

Thankyou all for making me do this!

Much Twilight Love

Sophie [Writer] and Lian [Editor]



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If anyone would like to make us a better book cover, we would be very grateful. I suck at Photoshop!

Thankyou to Donna Cullen for making us this banner!!
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Thankyou Tami for making this for us!

Disclaimer: All the Character's belong to to Stephanie Meyer, not us!


Chapter 4 - Oblivion

The end had not been what I had expected.
It was over too quickly.
I should still be in Forks now, watching her intently, breathing in her luxurious scent all whilst trying to convince her that I no longer wanted her, which was the most sinister lie I had ever told. I knew I was a good liar, but I never thought that Bella would believe me instantaneously.
Was it better this way?
It was for Bella.
It wasn’t for me.
My chest was hollow from where my frozen heart had been. The monotonous agonizing ache washed over every inch of my body, and I knew I was dying inside.


I had no idea where I was, or where I was going. I was only vaguely aware that I was in my car and my foot was on the accelerator pressed to the floor.
I couldn’t think properly. I couldn’t concentrate. All I could see was Bella’s face crumpling with pain over and over in my head. I couldn’t turn my attention away from that image, it was crucifying me. I knew that if I took a deep breath I would be able to clear my head slightly. But I didn’t want to exhale the last scent I had breathed in. I wanted it to stay within my body forever.


Normally, I never paid close attention to the roads whilst driving. A part of my vampire brain took over instinctively, so driving became a reflex action. But as the pain slowly engulfed me – my entire mind shut down completely and I was forced to pull over.
When my brain wasn’t working properly, I couldn’t allow myself to drive – a car wreckage was inevitable. Although, I was able to walk away from a crash unscathed, there was no point in causing myself more hassle of explaining what occurred, destroying my own vehicle, cleaning up the aftermath as well as endangering other road users in the process. I could not care less about my car, but it made the situation less complicated if I just stopped.
What was wrong with me? Why wouldn’t my brain function?


I leant my head against the seat’s head rest. My hands were tightly gripping the steering wheel; I couldn’t seem to move them. I stared out the windscreen seeing nothing but Bella’s face.
I tried closing my eyes but the image of Bella was even larger in my head – Was that possible?
The image spoke, echoing the same whispered words Bella spoke to me in the trees.
‘Don’t do this.’
‘You…don’t…want…me?’

As each word repeated itself in my mind, it cut a new wound within me. The pain was excruciating.
It was torture.


Bella’s voice in my head died away once every inch of my body had been cut. It was then the question’s started entering my mind.
How long had my eyes been shut?
How long had I been sat in my car?
Where was I?


As I was able to last an undeterminable amount of time without moving or breathing, I had no Idea how long I had been here – wherever here was. It could have been hours, days or even weeks as far as I knew. My mind hadn’t been tracking the time. I wondered what day it was.

I opened my eyes. Light filled the car, surrounding me. It was dawn, the sun was beginning to appear partially through the clouds.
The light of a new day brought reason I had since forgotten – She was safe.
Despite my suffering, I couldn’t stay where I was. I wanted to privately mourn the bereavement of my lost love. I needed to compose myself, reign my feelings in and let my brain function – just for a short period of time until I was somewhere alone and remote.


I was almost at my first destination, I had not decided on my second, as yet.
I discovered that when I had left Forks, I had driven into Canada, and found myself in the town of Weyburn, where I had stayed stationary in my vehicle for several days.
Yesterday I had forced myself to channel all my thoughts of Bella and the pain, to the back of my mind for the time being, until I was ready to release them. I was able to concentrate better, but my mind still yearned to think of Bella.
I drove at high speed straight to Ithaca, stopping only to re-fuel my car. It was here, where my family had re-located. They would most certainly be waiting for me, as I was confident Alice would have informed them of my arrival.

Driving along, I began to notice things that would usually never catch my attention but I couldn’t help but watch today. Couples – some, holding hands, others in loving gentle embraces. How I envied them – They had their entire lives’ to enjoy each other, with their futures laid out in front of them. I would never be able to be with my love like that. I had no future. I only had endless years of emptiness ahead of me.

A familiar property came into view through the surrounding trees. The house was similar to the one we had inhabited in Washington State’s Forks, except It was a dark brown colour and had a porch wrapped round the entire building. On the porch, was where my family stood waiting for me – their faces free from any expression.

I was not particularly looking forward to seeing my family, specifically because I didn’t want to hear their thoughts of pity and sympathy, but more importantly, I dreaded seeing the devotion between the couples in my family. I was afraid the affection they show to each, would push me over the cliff I was subconsciously standing on.

The atmosphere was tense as I stepped out of my car and made my way towards them. Suddenly, and without even noticing her movement – Alice was in my arms, embracing me tightly.
Oh Edward. She whispered in her head.
She pulled back, grabbing my hand at the same time and lead me towards the house.

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Chapter 5 – Breathless

The interior of the house was light and comforting, similar to the house in Forks. Esme enjoys renovating, but always decorated the interiors of each Cullen house in a way that we, as vampires, could enjoy the brightness without being in direct sunlight.

Alice still gripped my hand as we turned to face our family who had followed us in. Their eyes were fixed upon me intently, watching me carefully. I could see in each of their thoughts that they were all unsure what to say, if anything at all. The tension mounted as the silence wore on.
Finally, after several long minutes, Carlisle called me in his head.
Edward?
I didn’t want to reply. I didn’t necessitate to breathe, we just did it out of habit. But I needed to breathe in order to talk, and I couldn’t bear to exhale out Bella’s scent that was contained in my body. I had inhaled my last breath in Bella’s presence - when I had breathed in her scent one final time. I wasn’t letting it go. It was the only thing I had left of her, that wasn’t a memory.

Edward? Esme spoke to me in her head. Are you alright, dear?
I responded by bowing my head in a nod.
Her eyebrows pulled together forming worry lines in her forehead. She hurried to stand next to Carlisle. She reached up to whisper into his ear.
“What’s wrong with Edward? He looks strained and unwell.” I didn’t understand why she made the effort to whisper, because she was well aware that myself as well as the other members of my family would be able to hear her perfectly.
“He’s not breathing.” Jasper spoke aloud answering her question.
I wanted to turn and growl menacingly at him. Why did he have to feel what I was feeling? – The pressure to breathe but the desperation to keep the only connection that related to Bella I had left.
I didn’t even have the effort to glare at him with accusing eyes.
Sorry, Edward. He thought, as he felt my exasperation.
I should have expected that Jasper would be monitoring my emotions – probably to update my family on how I was coping without Bella. They were all worried because they all knew how much Bella meant to me, even Rosalie.

“What do you mean, he’s not breathing?” grumbled Emmett.
“You know I don’t know the reasoning, Emmett.” Jasper answered quietly.
Edward? Esme called again.
Why couldn’t the rest of my family have the ability to read minds like I could? It would be so much more convenient if I could answer them in my own head.
“Edward, you should breathe. It’s not healthy for you to hold it all in.” Carlisle said softly.
Thankfully, they didn’t know why I wasn’t breathing or realise how precious the air inside my lungs was – they would indisputably think I was insane if they did.

“Edward, please? Talk to us” Esme spoke in a gentle voice.
“Come on, Edward, bro.” Emmett said encouragingly.
Alice suddenly tensed at my side and her eyelids fluttered closed. Jasper flashed to her side, as he always did when she had a vision. Everyone else just remained perfectly still. I watched Alice’s vision in her head with her. I was shocked to see myself gasping a breath out. I shook my head mechanically.
No. I shouted in my head.
Alice opened her eyes and smiled weakly at me.
“Give him a minute.” She said.
All eyes flickered to my face.

The pressure of their watchful gazes upon me suddenly became too much. My throat constricted and the tension built in my lungs. It felt like I was going to explode. I was being forced to exhale. I clamped my mouth shut tightly, biting down on the insides of my lips. I couldn’t allow Bella’s scent to leave me – I wasn’t ready to let it go yet.
My lungs started to deflate as the air made its way up through my windpipe. I was going to insufflate. It was inevitable. I was going to lose what I had spent days trying to save.

It happened exactly as I had seen it in Alice’s head. The air entered my mouth and I choked and spluttered before gasping in fresh de-bellanised air.
Alice gripped my hand tighter, with enough strength to stop me from collapsing to the floor. I began taking hyperventilating, taking in quick deep breaths. Esme blurred to my side.
“Carlisle!” Esme shouted. “What is wrong with him?”
I hardly even noticed my sister and mother dragging me to the leather sofa in the middle of the room. I was alarmed at myself. Why was I acting this way? Was this what being apart from Bella was doing to me?

“Jasper!” Carlisle instructed.
Instantly, calm washed over me and I felt oddly at ease. It was soothing, which I was grateful for.

I buried my face in my hands feeling embarrassed by my episode. Esme stroked my arm softly, comforting me.
“I’m sorry.” I whispered, I felt my stupidity rising. I inhaled deeply and took in the smells around me. It smelt wrong – there was no scent in the house that I could familiarise myself with, apart from the obvious ones exhibited by my family. I had been here many times before but still it felt strange to me – It wasn’t home. I wanted to scream.

Edward?
I raised my head to look at Carlisle’s concerned face.
“Please excuse my behaviour. It was idiotic.”
“Edward, where have you been for the past four days?” Carlisle questioned me.
“Alice didn’t tell you?” I asked puzzled, turning to look at her.
She shook her head.
“I knew you had departed Forks, because you had your mind set on leaving. I had a vision of you driving North, but then everything went blank. I couldn’t see anything. It made me anxious. You didn’t make any decisions for me to see, except for coming here today.” I don’t like being blind, you had me worried, Edward. Alice continued in her head.
“So you didn’t foresee that I would crash?” I asked still confused.
Crash? Carlisle and Esme echoed the same thought in their minds.
Alice shook her head again.
“You crashed? But your Volvo –“Carlisle asked thinking about my intact car parked outside.
“No.” I interrupted his thoughts. “But I would of have, If I hadn’t of pulled over.”
“Whoa. Seriously?” Emmett asked in a surprised tone. “Your head must have been pretty messed up.”
“Emmett!” Rosalie hissed, warning him.
“What?” He shrugged.
She didn’t answer, instead she just glared at him with her topaz eyes. Normally, the exchange would make me chuckle – but not today.

There was no use in being untruthful to my family – they were all aware that something was wrong.
“Yes, Emmett. My head is a mess.”
“But you’re not staying with us?” Alice asked accusingly. “I have seen that.”
I didn’t reply.
“Where are you going?” Carlisle enquired.
“I don’t know.” I replied truthfully. “I just need to be alone for awhile.”
I want you to stay. Alice spoke in her head.
“How long is awhile?” prompted Jasper.
“I don’t know. “ I said again.
“Okay, Edward. But please come back soon, dear.” Esme said sweetly. She understood that I wasn’t ready to be around couples and needed time to heal, even though I knew I never would. The wounds from leaving Bella were never going to heal.

“Don’t go, Edward.” Emmett demanded.
“Let him go.” Rosalie spoke. “He will come back when he has got over her,”
An inherent snarl escaped my lips.
Emmett instinctively moved in front of Rosalie protectively.
“Chill, Edward. You know Rose didn’t mean it.” He turned his head to look at her. “Did you, babe?”
Rosalie ignored him and pushed him aside, out of his protective stance. He then proceeded to wrap his arms around her torso.
The affectionate gesture made me want to growl again, but I held it back. Seeing that was exactly what I wanted to avoid.
I wanted to escape the questions, concerned looks, and any signs of affection.
I should refrain from getting angry. None of them knew of the torture I felt. But Rosalie was wrong – I would never get over Bella.

Once I was changed into fresh clothes, I bid farewell to my family. I left my car – I didn’t need it. I wanted to run. I set off into the trees beginning the longest and darkest night of my existence.

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Here it is - CHAPTER 6 - Darkest Night!
A HUGE Thank you to Chani! [Who helped us with the end!]
We Love you!

Love Sophie and Lian


Chapter 6 – Darkest Night

I had run away, again. But this time it was from the confinements of my own family. There was no pain for them – just embarrassment.
Now I was away from Jasper – my emotions flooded back to me. I tried with almighty strength to hold them back as I ran, but they were slowly starting seeping through my mind.

I pushed myself to move faster. I could hear vehicles on a highway a few miles away. I wanted and needed silence and seclusion. My muscles started to ache and my pace slowed involuntary. Was it possible that I was beginning to get tired? I had never before experienced the need to stop running. I couldn’t get tired. I lurched my body forward. It didn’t respond. I felt utterly drained. The grief I felt, must enervate me. I slowed to a halt after another minute. There was no point carrying on. I could only hear the night breeze delicately whistling through the trees now.

My resistance was futile, so I held my arms out wide and let my mind release itself.
I waited for the pain to engulf me. It hit me like the stab of a thousand knifes. I cried out in agony and collapsed to the ground as the pain over-powered me.

Bella.
My Bella.
The memories swarmed back.
The first day I noticed Bella – she was just another human. It was like she reeled me in. Being unable to read her thoughts was extremely frustrating, as I had never before encountered a human or otherwise whose mind I could not read.
That first fateful day was when I first caught her intoxicating scent that drove me wild. I had very nearly obliterated an entire classroom of students, just to taste the girl who was radiating the sweet freesia scent. I had to leave town just to stop myself from killing her. I should have stayed away then. I never should have returned to Forks. But the truth was, Bella fascinated me and I didn’t want to be forced to leave town by an insignificant human. Could I have been more wrong? I should have taken myself out of Bella’s life in the beginning – that way she would never have fallen in love with me or got implicated in the dangerous mythical world that I belonged in.
So many thing I should have done – but I didn’t, and all because I was a profusely selfish creature. I truly despised myself for hurting Bella and putting her constantly in danger. It was the cruellest act I had ever committed. Nothing could make me feel guiltier – not even murder.

My eyes ached with the need for tears. My frozen body shuddered violently as tearless sobs begun, and I drowned in my own emptiness.

I left behind more than I anticipated when I left Forks. The part of me that Bella still held – my heart. My empty chest throbbed with solitude.

Bella made me feel human. I felt my frozen heart when her skin met mine for the first time. I melted under her touch as her warm skin sent a thrill of ecstasy through me. I trembled with pleasure at the thought of touching her. She was so warm and loving – not caring that it was a monster she embraced. Oh, how I longed to return to the arms of my beloved.
I still felt human now, even though Bella was no longer with me. I was experiencing all these emotions that were resurfacing from the human buried within me that Bella had released.

I wondered what Bella was doing right now. Was she thinking of me, as I was thinking of her? Would she still be hurting in the aftermath of my departure?

Bella’s agonised face appeared in my head as the memory of my quick departure replayed in my mind. I watched her so unwillingly believe that I no longer wanted her – as if such a thing was possible! I watched myself run away like a coward, leaving my fragile Bella alone on the edge of a forest. Leaving her had been a mistake – another mistake. What if something happened to her? I had heard her take a few steps further into the tress. What is she had tried to follow me? Would she have done that? She could have got lost or worse – gravely hurt or injured, and I just left her there. I couldn’t bear to think of the consequences.
No. Bella had promised – nothing reckless or stupid. I had asked her not to wander into the woods on her own before, she would know that I considered that reckless. I had no reason to worry – Bella had promised.

I dug my fingers into the earth beneath me, trying to grip on to something to stop myself from falling apart. It didn’t help – the dirt just crumbled into dust.
I was broken.
I had been ripped into a hundred pieces.
I would never be reassembled.
Only my Bella could make me whole again.

I kept telling myself – That I had done the right thing by Bella, for the first time.
Keeping her safe was all that mattered,
Leaving Bella was a means to an end.

I curled up into a ball and let misery take me. I was sure this amount of pain I was feeling, was slowly torturing me to death. I welcomed it, because I knew I deserved to suffer.

I don’t know how long I had laid in a foetal position – nor did I care. My mind was clouded with thoughts of Bella.
Her unapproachable mind that I longed to read.
Her silky brown hair draping round her shoulders.
Her delicious scent that set my throat on fire.
Her inviting chocolate brown eyes that showed me the way to her soul.
She was so perfect.

At some point during the long night, I had consumed all my thoughts of Bella and every second I had spent in her presence. I missed her terribly. I wondered if she missed me. How long would it take her to forget?
Hopefully I had made that process quicker by eliminating all her processions that had some connection to me.
I wish I had something – anything of Bella’s to keep hold of…like a photograph or piece of her clothing that still held her scent. I cursed myself for putting the pictures I had removed from Bella’s letter to her mother in the trash.

Suddenly my mind clicked as I remembered something.
I did have something that had belonged to Bella.
My hand reached into the pocket of my trousers and pulled out something that would seem so insignificant to a normal person – but for me, it was the sole connection I had to Bella, which meant everything.
The bottle lid.
From the lemonade bottle Bella had been drinking from the first day I sat with her at lunch.
I couldn’t bring myself to stay away from her. I was weak. I just gave in.
This time, I wouldn’t be so feeble or selfish – I would stay away.

I pulled myself up into a sitting position to examine the object in my hand. It was such an inconsequential thing to hold on to – but it had belonged to Bella. She had been playing with on the table, that day at lunch. She was the only other person who had touched it, and that was important to me.

I clasped the bottle top in my hand gently – so not to damage it, and laid back on the ground to gaze up to the sky.

The sky was empty and dark, like me.
Where was the moon? The stars?
I couldn't see clearly.
Missing Bella was clouding my sight, and now the sky was black.
Why was this happening? I knew I had done what I had to do, and I knew it would be hard, but I had never imagined this.
Then it hit me.
I realized now that Bella was my moon, my stars.
She was gone, and so were they.

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Chapter 7 – Distraction

Time passed.
Exceptionally slowly.
The pain didn’t fade, but I had learnt to live with it.
I had accepted the fact that I would always ache for Bella.

The past two months of my life had been spent running and feeding. Mainly I had been running to different places looking for the stars – for my points of reason.
I didn’t hunt often – only when it was necessary. The burning in my throat no longer bothered me. It just felt like an annoying itch that I was able to disregard easily. It was nothing compared to the pain of losing my Bella. I only forced myself to engage in hunting in case I ever was in the distance of catching the scent of a human, and my predatory senses took over automatically. It had almost happened several weeks ago. I cringed as I evoked the memory…
I hadn’t hunted since I had left Forks, which for a vampire was a considerable amount of time to go without feeding.
I saw no reason to hunt.
I had nothing left to maintain my life for.
As a result, I felt significantly weaker at each passing day.
I was walking a steady human pace – in no hurry to get anywhere. Suddenly I came across a mouth-watering scent. It wasn’t the most delicious scent I had ever smelt but it was still irresistible and it made my throat burn intensely – the scent could only be human. My senses instinctively overpowered me and before I knew what I was doing, I was following the appetizing odour with the purpose to conquest. The scent led me to a small parking lot of a national park. I saw my target packing up her vehicle. One small fragile human – so easily dealt with. I ran round the perimeter of the lot to get closer in order to initiate my attack.
I fell back into my hunting crouch.
I was just about to pounce when the human turned around.
I froze.
She was a young woman – with chocolate brown eyes reminiscent of Bella’s. They weren’t as beautiful as Bella’s but they were enough to stop me for a moment and make me realise what I was doing.
What the hell was I thinking?
I couldn’t devour her.
She was human.
I didn’t hunt humans.
I couldn’t take someone’s life that way.
This innocent woman didn’t deserve that.
And what if this woman meant to someone what Bella meant to me?
What if she was someone’s Bella?

The thought of some creature killing my Bella made me growl menacingly. The fact that Bella would no longer exist would be the worst thing that could ever happen.
I couldn’t live in a world with no Bella.
I forced myself to stand straight out of my stance, and turned to sprint further into the trees screaming profanities in my head.
I was a cruel heartless monster.

I quickly came out of my memory, not wanting to dwell on it.
I was positive that Alice would have foreseen my attempted attack, but there was no way for her to warn me – my cell phone battery was dead, and there was no way for me to charge it while I was living out in the wilderness.

Occasionally, when I was near a town that was overshadowed by clouds, I would buy myself some new clothes and check into a hotel to freshen myself up. I never turned the television on when I was there, so I had no idea what was happening in the current affairs.
I tried to avoid everything and anything that would remind me of Bella, even though she was in every thought that possessed my mind.

I spent my days wandering around from place to place – never going anywhere in particular. I strived to think of activities I could participate in, in order to occupy my mind, but I never came up with any ideas.
All the while, my empty chest urged me to go and retrieve my heart.
The only thing that stopped me from sprinting back to Forks – to my Bella, was the thought of her being safe and never being hurt by my kind again.

At night, I laid down and gazed up into the heavens searching for the moon and stars, hoping that they would magically appear and bring reason and light into my life again.
They never did.

I had never felt solitude like this before. Over the past week, I had been contemplating returning to the comfort of my family for a visit. I missed my parents and my siblings. Maybe the company would raise my spirits slightly. I doubted it, but still I hoped.
I hadn’t had any communication with them at all. They would certainly be worried about me and I was being selfish for the lack of contact.
I immediately changed my direction and headed North- East.

It took me four days to reach Ithaca, as I still spent every night waiting for my moon to materialize.
I decided to hunt before I went to greet my family. I located a herd of elk in a small clearing enclosed by thick trees. I allowed my predator senses to take over before I swiftly pounced on the two largest, snapping their necks instantly. I drained the first and let the creature drop from my stone hands. I was just about to consume the second when I heard a familiar sound.

The light gentle sound of feet running at inhuman speed, only audible to vampire ears. My eyes instinctively scanned the surrounding forest for signs of danger.
It was then I heard their thoughts.
It’s only us, Edward. Jasper spoke in his head.
I stood up straight out of my hunting crouch.
A second later Alice skipped into the clearing, followed closely by my brother. She bounded over to me gracefully with a sparkling smile upon her face. She was overjoyed to see me.
Although she was happy, she had a shallow look in her eyes. I could see from her thoughts that she missed her best friend deeply.
Jasper remained distant – still feeling very guilty.

I was speechless for a minute. I was quite shocked to see them. I hadn’t been around others for awhile and it seemed I had lost my ability to speak.
Alice’s smile faltered as she processed my astonished expression.
I cleared my throat and eventually found my voice.
“Well hello, Alice.”
Her smile lit up again.
“Edward!” She squealed.
She wrapped her arms around me, so I picked her and span her around. I hadn’t realised how much I missed my favourite sister.
“I’m so glad you’re back.” She said as I set her back on her feet.
I began to protest by telling her that this was only a short visit.
“I know, I know.” She interrupted me. “You aren’t staying long.”
I gave her my best attempt at a grin that I could manage and turned to my brother.
“Hey Jazz.”
He smiled at me.
“Sorry we surprised you. Carlisle told Alice to wait for you to arrive at the house, but she was so excited that you were coming, that we couldn’t stop her.”
Alice stuck her tongue out at him.
“No, it’s okay.” I replied. “It’s good to see you both.”
Alice took my hand and led me over to Jasper. She grabbed one of his hands and together we set of running in the direction of the rest of our family, leaving the un-drained elk behind.

My family greeted me with open arms, even Rosalie gleamed at me as she appeared at the top of the stairs when Jasper, Alice and I walked in the house.

We all sat in the living room for hours.
I told my family that I had been wandering around the country and they didn’t press me for further details, which I was grateful for.
I didn’t talk much – I mainly listened as each member of my family told me what they had been doing while I had been gone.
Carlisle had been tutoring part time at Cornell University as well as working nights at a hospital.

Jasper was also at Cornell, but he was studying Philosophy. He was really enjoying it.

Esme had immersed herself in a new renovation project on a seventeenth century house she had located in the North of the city.

In a few days, Rosalie and Emmett were off on a second honeymoon to celebrate the tenth anniversary of their fifth wedding. They were going to Europe. Emmett was excited for the hunting possibilities.

Alice had been trying to reform her human life and where she had come from. She had managed to locate the asylum where she had been held captive but hadn’t visited the place yet. She had also discovered her real name – Mary Alice Brandon. Somehow I didn’t think it suited her.
All this had been made possible from what information James had provided in a videotape he made to entice me last Spring.
I winced at the memory of the ballet studio where James had almost killed my Bella – where I had also nearly taken her life myself.
I was thankful that Bella was no longer in the midst of our evil kind.

I found it difficult to learn that my family had all moved on with their lives whilst I was stuck in the darkness alone.

I let my thoughts wander as I went to my room.
Everyone else had things to do, where as I had nothing. I spent my days wandering round like a ghost. I needed a hobby or activity to focus on.

Thinking of the sadistic vampire luring Bella to that ballet studio gave me an idea.
James had been a tracker.
I had always found the concept of tracking truly interesting – maybe I should endeavour it as an activity, to occupy my mind from drowning in thoughts of Bella.

What or who should I track?
I had no idea where to begin exactly, what the process involved – I would need some sort of guidance, possibly from an experienced tracker.
Perhaps Carlisle had an acquaintance who could point me in the right direction?

James had been a highly skilled – his hunt was his obsession. Victoria, the woman who was in his coven, was his accomplice. I had been preoccupied reading James’s mind in the baseball clearing that day, so I hadn’t taken much notice of Victoria. I didn’t see her as a danger.

Victoria had aided James in his mission to take Bella from me, and for that she too deserved to die.
But she was still out there somewhere.
My main purpose flashed in my mind – Keep Bella safe.
I then knew what I had to do.
I was going to track Victoria.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

These may change slightly...
Chapter 8 is on Page 13
Chapter 9 is on Page 18
Chapter 10 is on Page 21
Chapter 11 is on Page 25
Chapter 12 is on Page 29
Chapter 13 is on Page 34
Chapter 14 is on Page 37
Chapter 15 is on Page 42
Chapter 16 is on Page 46
Chapter 17 is on Page 52
Chapter 18 is on Page 67
Chapter 19 is on Page 67
Chapter 20 is on Page 74
Chapter 21 is on Page 86
Chapter 22 is on Page 96
Chapter 23 is on Page 101
Chapter 1 is on Page 107

Or Click on the links below to take you to the correct page-
CHAPTER 1 - The Beginning of the End

CHAPTER 2 - Blood Lust

CHAPTER 3 - The End

Chapter 4, 5, 6 and 7 Are at the top of each page in the main section! [Above this!]

CHAPTER 8 - Annihilation

CHAPTER 9 - Focus

CHAPTER 10 - The Call

CHAPTER 11 - Black Hole

CHAPTER 12 - The Volturi

CHAPTER 13 - Judgement Day

CHAPTER 14 - Reconciliation

CHAPTER 15 - Reason

CHAPTER 16 - Deathly Circumstances

CHAPTER 17 - Premonition

CHAPTER 18 - Nightmare

CHAPTER 19 - Charlie

CHAPTER 20 - Imagination

CHAPTER 21 - Reassurance

CHAPTER 22 - Request

CHAPTER 23 - Proposal

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omg. now i feel really bad for askin u 2 hurry. i hope all is well with her grandfather and pets.
please send our love and support to her. when ever she finishes the story we will be here. take ur time no rush!!
I have passed on the message, and she says thankyou very much!
xxxx
thnx hun. My grandfater is a bit better, tomorrow he is getting a new pacemaker and now we hope that will take away some of his probs. with the pets it's the same. one just had surgery and another one has an ear infection :( hope it will be better soon.

I finally finished editing and send it to Soph. the next chapter is called Reassurence. We hope you all will love it and it was worth the wait. I know Soph is working on the next chapter but don't know if that will be done before my vacation, and otherwise i maybe will edit when i'm with her LOL but can't promise anything ;)
Here it is...finally!
Chapter 21!
=D

Sorry it has been along time since the last post, but we hope this chapter is worth it.
Life is abit hectic for both of us!

Please comment, we love reading them!

Loves
Soph and Lian
x


Photobucket


Chapter 21 – Reassurance

As I inched my face closer to Bella’s, her heartbeat began to quicken. The sound was familiar and warm. I could also feel her body squirming slightly in my embrace as I got nearer, which I presumed was out of excitement.
“Please don’t.” She whispered.
“Why not?” I demanded.
Were her movements actually struggles to free herself from my grasp?
Was it too late for us to be intimate again?
“When I wake up – “
I opened my mouth to dispute, but noticing the initiation of my protest she swiftly interjected before I could speak.
“- Okay, forget that one – when you leave again, it’s going to be hard enough without this, too.”
I pulled back to gaze at her beautiful face, into her stunning eyes – perhaps to see how much I had damaged her soul.
I had been gawking at Bella the majority of the time she had slept, but her manifestation never failed to shock me. There were physical changes in her body as well as emotional factors. Her body was frail with distress, exhibiting weight loss and fatigue – all due to my abandonment.
I had explained how I felt – she now knew of my deceit, of my betrayal, of the blasphemy I’d committed on the love that existed between us. She knew it was all a lie, however she seemed unfazed. Did she not believe what I had told her?
I had been self-centred – I hadn’t yet considered Bella’s feelings! –
How did she feel?
Did she want me?
Did she still love me?
All these questions repetitively running through my mind.
Now was undoubtedly the time for answers.
At first I could not find the words I needed to express my desperate need for her love, to see if there was even a shimmer of hope.
The fear of her rejection held me back.
How could I ever survive if she abandoned me like I had abandoned her?

“Yesterday, when I would touch you, you were so hesitant, so careful, and yet still the same. I need to know why. Is it because I’m too late? Because I’ve hurt you too much? Because you have moved on, as I meant for you to? That would be… - “ Heart shattering, my mind wept silently, at the thought. I could not find the accurate word to say without making her feel pressurised or without being dishonest, consequently I settled for what was reasonable. “ -…quite fair. I won’t contest your decision. So don’t try and spare my feelings, please – just tell me now whether or not you can still love me, after everything I’ve done to you.”
My whole speech had gradually decreased in volume, and with the remaining bit of air I had left in my lungs I whispered the last two definitive words –
“Can you?”



“What kind of idiotic question is that?”
“Just answer it. Please.” I practically begged.
Bella stared at me for what felt like an eternity.
My insides cringed, waiting for the words of rejection to hit me.
All the while I was holding my breath and mentally hoping, longing, praying that her answer would be positive and fulfil my desires.

“The way I feel about you will never change. Of course I love you – and there’s nothing you can do about it!” Bella said.
Her words….the words I had been yearning to hear sparked an unbreakable force field within me. Her declaration had restored all hope into my life. Suddenly, I needed her more than ever.
I needed her touch.
I had to feel her against me.
I craved to caress her lips.
“That’s all I needed to hear.” I said, as I thrust my lips onto hers.

The kiss was intense, urgent and edged with immense fervour that was pulsating through my body.
It reminded me of the last time I had kissed Bella – on her dreaded previous birthday.
It was forceful.
Untamed.
Passionate.
However, this time, the urgency wasn’t because of the overpowering obsessive protectiveness I had felt then.
Now it was due to an accumulation of pure lust and longing.
I pushed my body up against hers as she ran her hands over my face delicately touching my facial features.
My body throbbed, aroused with intoxicant pleasure.
Bella enticed me with the movement of her soft lips, making me crave more and more.
Her exhilarating scent only increased the pleasure - driving me wild.
I felt myself cross my own boundaries as all the painful, suffering, joyful emotions flooded out of me through my lips.
I gently touched her face with my fingertips, feeling the smoothness of (her) skin.
She tasted irresistibly delicious as I traced the outline of her mouth with the tip of my tongue, before she parted her lips and her tongue met mine.
A thrill of ecstasy ran though my veins igniting my whole body and set my world on fire.
My threshold was breached.
I knew I should stop.
But I didn’t.
I refused to allow our lips to part.
Never wanting to lose this feeling.
Never wanting to leave Bella’s side.

Requiring air, I pulled away slightly.
Only a minuscule amount so my lips were still lingering on Bella’s.
We were both breathless.
But that didn’t divert me from continuing the kiss.
“Bella.” I breathed her name, before I pushed my lips against her once more and increased the speed dramatically and with additional imperativeness.
Just a few more seconds – I told myself.
I could feel myself starting to lose control as I held Bella to me tighter, and moved my lips with more force.
With all my effort and strength, I managed to break apart our kiss, leaving us both gasping for air.

The only thing that was strong enough to overpower my longing to continue our intimate embrace was my desire for Bella’s safety.
I never wanted to cause her pain again.
My insides were still pulsating rapidly as was Bella’s heartbeat.
I was able to speak once I managed to control my irregular breathing, and calm myself slightly.

“By the way. I’m not leaving you.”
Bella didn’t respond, her breathing still ragged from our kiss as her body was slower to compose than mine.
However, she did not seem convinced by my statement.
“I’m not going anywhere. Not without you. I only left in the first place because I wanted you to have a chance at a normal, happy, human life. I could see what I was doing to you – keeping you constantly on the edge of danger, taking you away from the world you belonged in, risking your life every moment I was with you. So I had to try. I had to do something, and it seemed like leaving was the only way. If I hadn’t thought you were better off, I could have never made myself leave. I’m much too selfish. Only you could be more important than what I wanted…what I needed. What I want and need is to be with you, and I know I’ll never be strong enough to leave again. I have too many excuses to stay – thank heaven for that! It seems you can’t be safe, no matter how many miles I put between us.”
“Don’t promise me anything.” Bella pleaded in a whisper.
“You think I’m lying now?”
I was infuriated with myself.
Enraged – because I had destroyed every last ounce of trust Bella once had in me.
All with one scandalous prevarication.
One lie that annihilated all hope and faith. One lie that had caused so much pain, that it forced Bella to question my intentions and every word that I spoke.
One lie that had the power to devastatingly tear us both apart.

Bella had brought the light back into my life, just from her presence.
She has also brought joy into my life once again, by loving me.
The wounds I had created within Bella could not be healed as straightforwardly.

Bella shook her head. “No – not lying. You could mean it mean it…now. But what about tomorrow, when you think of all the reasons you left in the first place? Or next month, when Jasper takes a snap at me? – “
I flinched at the memory that involuntary replayed in my head. I had witnessed it vast amounts of times since the incident had occurred, but it still never failed to horrify me.
“ – It isn’t if you thought the first decision through, is it? You’ll end up doing what you think is right.”
Bella had secured my decision to stay and remain in Forks, by the assertion of her love.
I knew that I did not have the strength to leave again, even if Bella did not return my love. I couldn’t bring myself to think of the consequences, if she had discarded me – I would somehow be unsuccessful in continuing to exist.
Now I new that Bella still loved me, the thought of leaving was agonisingly unbearable. As I had previously thought, I would forever remain by her side.
Forever pleading for forgiveness and trust, if that’s what it took.
It was strangely ironic how it seemed that both myself and Bella’s judgement were clouded by each other – making us both unwilling to believe.
Never the less, I was deeply hurt that Bella did not have any faith in what I was saying. It wasn’t as hurtful as her believing my lie in the forest, but now I was telling the definitive truth.

“I’m not as strong as you give me credit for, Right and wrong have ceased to mean much to me; I was coming back anyway. Before Rosalie told me the news, I was already past trying to live through one week at a time, or even one day. I was fighting to make it through a single hour. It was only a matter of time – and not much of it – before I showed up and your window and begged you to take me back. I’d be happy to beg now, if you’d like that.”
“Be serious, please.” Bella frowned.
I could understand her hesitation to believe, but all the same it was exasperating.
I wanted Bella to comprehend exactly how I felt about her.
How unreservedly important she was.
Why I sought after her so much.
Why I needed her.

“Oh, I am, will you please try and hear what I am telling you? Will you let me attempt to explain what you mean to me?” I stared at Bella intently for several long moments. When she did not respond, I took it as a sign she was listening, so I continued.” Before you, Bella, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars – points of lights and reason…And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn’t see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason for anything.”
I think I used a good analogy to try and describe the darkest nights I’d experienced, in our separation.
“Your eyes will adjust.” Bella mumbled.
“That’s the problem – they can’t.”
They wouldn’t – I had searched long and hard enough, willing the stars to reappear.
The stars and moon, the light and reason – were only present in my life whenever Bella was.
Without any of them my existence was dark and worthless.

“What about your distractions?” Bella asked.
I chucked without humour – as if anything could have averted my attention from Bella.
If only they could have.
She was in my every though.
Everything revolved around Bella.
“Just part of the lie, love. There was distraction from the…agony. My heart hasn’t beat in almost ninety years, but this was different. It was like my heart was gone – like I was hollow. Like I’d left everything that was inside me here with you.” I replied.
“That’s funny.”
“Funny?” I questioned, slightly confused.
How was it amusing?
How could she find expressing my feeling remotely humorous?
I thought to myself with a twinge of hurt.
“I meant strange – I thought it was just me. Lots of pieces of me went missing, too. I haven’t been able to really breathe in so long.” She paused to inhale deeply.
I remembered the feeling of not being able to breathe.
But I hadn’t actually wanted to exhale, too scared to lose my only connection to Bella – her scent.
Too afraid to inhale air that was fresh, unfamiliar and desolate.
“And my heart. That was definitely lost.” Bella continued.
Guilt washed over me as I closed my eyes and laid my head lightly on her chest to hear the sound of her thumping heart more clearly.
It was there…and beating harmoniously.

Maybe now Bella believed me.
Perhaps not.
But Bella loved me.
And I loved her.
She was truly my Bella again.
I was overjoyed by this and would do anything to preserve our love.
I had to protect her.
Protect the love we shared.
Protect it from the imposing dangers.
And that meant irradiating certain things.
Victoria was the main priority.
Now I knew her target, her potential whereabouts – I would find her.
And this time I would not fail.

Bella rested her cheek on the top of my head.
“Tracking wasn’t a distraction then?”
“No. That was never a distraction. It was an obligation.”
“What does that mean?”
I faltered, questioning whether to tell Bella the absolute truth about my tracking operation therefore admitting another deception. When I departed Forks, I had promised her that I wouldn’t interfere with her life again. Although Bella wasn’t involved or even present in the activity, the root cause was to eliminate the callous creature that had threatened Bella’s life.
I decided that I was going to be honest with Bella – she needed to know the truth, even though I was embarrassed by failure.
“It means that, even though I never expected any danger from Victoria, I wasn’t going to let her get away with it…Well, like I said, I was horrible at it. I traced her as far as Texas, but then I followed a false trail down to Brazil – and really she came here. I wasn’t even on the right continent. And all the while, worse than my worst fears –“
“You were hunting, Victoria?” Bella screeched interrupting me. The volume of her voice made Charlie stir in his sleep in the next room. Fortunately, it did not wake him.
“Not well.” I admitted regretfully. “But I’ll do better this time. She won’t be tainting perfectly good air by breathing in and out for much longer.”
“That is… out of the question.” Bella said sternly.
I did not understand her anger,
It was understandable that Victoria could not be allowed to continue existing.
The thought of what she could, or rather what she would do if she got the chance, sent chilling fearful feeling of disgust up my spine.
“It’s too late for her. I might have let the other time slide, but now, not after – “
“Didn’t you just promise that you weren’t going to leave?” Bella interrupted. “That isn’t exactly compatible with an extended tracking expedition, is it?” She asked. I hinted wariness in her tone.
“I will keep my promise, Bella. But Victoria is going to die. Soon.” I snarled out her name with pure disgust. My anger rose, building up a growl at the back of my throat, as I thought of the red headed vampire roaming around with the intent of assassinating my Bella.
“Let’s not be hasty. Maybe she’s not coming back. Jake’s pack probably scared her off. There’s really no reason to go looking for her. Besides, I’ve got bigger problems than Victoria. “
I admired Bella attempt at reassurance, but could see the fear beneath her façade, however I was pleasantly surprised that Bella had identified that the werewolves were dangerous. Perhaps it wouldn’t be too difficult to eliminate their presence in Bella’s life, after all.
“That’s true. The werewolves are a problem.”
Bella snorted. “I wasn’t talking about Jacob. My problems are a lot worse than a handful of adolescent wolves getting themselves into trouble.”
Obviously, my previous thought had been wrong. I was about to disagree with her, and argue that the wolves were in fact a major problem, but I thought better of it. I didn’t want to upset Bella by speaking unkindly about her vile newfound friends.

“Really? Then what would make Victoria’s returning for you seem like such an inconsequential matter in comparison?”
“How about the second greatest?”
“All right.” I agreed slightly apprehensive as to what other dangers imposed that I had not yet been informed.
“There are others who are coming to look for me.” Bella whispered.
I sighed in a wave of slight relief, and recognition.
The relief that there weren’t any additional dangers.
The recognition of the principal hazard, but also the one that wouldn’t pose as a significant threat until a few years time at least.
“The Volturi are only the second greatest?” I asked, wondering what could possibly be so bad as to constitute her first.
“You don’t seem very upset about it.”
“Well, we have plenty of time to think it through. Time means something different to them than it does to you, or even me. They count years the way you count days. I wouldn’t be surprised if you were thirty before you crossed their minds again.”

Bella turned pale as the colour drained from her face leaving behind a horrified expression. Here eyes, once again began a build up of moisture before the tears of fear began to spill down her cheeks.
“You don’t have to be afraid. I won’t let them hurt you.” I reassured her.
“While you’re here.” She sobbed.
I wished she could believe me.
Just trust me enough to know I would never have the willpower to leave her side again.
I took her face in my hands and gazed unblinking into her tear-filled eyes.
“I will never leave you again.”
“But you said thirty. What? You’re going to stay, but let me get old anyway? Right.”
“That’s exactly what I’m going to do. What choice have I? I cannot be without you, but I will not destroy your soul.”
“Is this really…”
Bella’s voice broke before she finished speaking.
“Yes?” I prompted.
She hesitated for a moment, and then began speaking again. But I thought she had altered what she was previously going to say.
“But what about when I get so old that people would think I’m your mother? Your grandmother?”
I could see that sadness in her eyes.
It wasn’t that I didn’t want her to become part of my family.
I wanted that more than anything – to be equal creatures, so we could really be together, like a suitable couple.
But I could not destroy her human life.
I refused to change her into the monster she wanted to become.
I would not eradicate her soul – it was too precious.

The tears were flowing down Bella’s cheeks and I leaned in and kissed each one away.
“That doesn’t mean anything to me. You will always be the most beautiful thing in my world. Of course…-“ I paused, trying to form the words from the painful thought in my mind – Bella growing older, and wanting more from her human life, meeting another human perhaps. Evidently, leaving me behind in frozen form. I winced at the thought, but if that’s what Bella wanted, I would let her go regretfully. “If you outgrew me - if you wanted something more – I would understand that, Bella. I promise I wouldn’t stand in your way if you wanted to leave me.”
“You do realise that I’ll die eventually, right?”
I did apprehend that would be the outcome, and I knew wherever and whenever that happened I would join her in death, as I would be unable to continue existing without my Bella. My recent trip to Italy proved that.
“I’ll follow after as soon as I can.”
“That is seriously…sick.” Bella said in an appalled voice.
“Bella, it’s the only right way left –“ I tried to reason, before she interjected in a clearer voice, edged in anger.
“Let’s just back up for a minute. You do remember the Volturi, right? I can’t stay human forever. They’ll kill me. Even if they don’t think of me till I’m thirty, do you really think they’ll forget?”
I shook my head solemnly. “No they won’t forget. But…”
“But?”
“I have a few plans.” I smiled, thinking back to the revelation I had whilst Bella was sleeping.
Demetri was the one to avoid, and I may have conducted a plan to do just that.
“And these plans. These plans all centre around me staying human.”
Bella practically hissed the word ‘human’ as if it was a despicable word.
“Naturally.” I concurred.
Bella glared at me.
Why did she crave to be a monster?
She had me for as long as forever lasted in her human life.
I stared at her, ensuring that my stern expression made her realise that my decision could not be influenced.
Bella inhaled deeply, and I wondered what her thoughts were.
She suddenly surprised me by sitting up, with a determined, yet firm expression on her face.

“Do you want me to leave?” I asked, trying not to let my hurt show. I couldn’t stand it if she told me to go away.
“No, I’m leaving.”
“May I ask where you are going?” I said apprehensively, as I watched her search her room – for her shoes probably, as she was already dressed in the same clothes that she had returned in from Italy.
“I’m going to your house.”
I grabbed her shoes from the end of her bed, trying not to seem suspicious as to why she was going to my family’s house in the middle of the night. I had an underhand feeling that her unplanned visit was for her to somehow find a way round my decision to keep her human
“Here are your shoes. How do you plan to get there?”
“My truck.” Bella replied.
“That will probably wake Charlie.” I informed her, hoping she would reconsider her trip and stay here in my arms. She could see my family tomorrow – in just a few more hours.
She sighed. “I know. But honestly, I’ll be grounded for weeks as it is. How much more trouble can I really get in?”
“None. He’ll blame me, not you.”
“If you have a better idea, I’m all ears.”
“Stay here.” I urged.
“No dice. But you go ahead and make yourself at home.” She said as she started towards her bedroom door. I spun around in one quick movement, and flashed to the door, blocking her exit.
Bella grimaced at me, and stubbornly turned and headed towards the window instead.
What on earth was she thinking?
She would kill herself!
I sighed in defeat. “Okay, I will give you a ride.”
“Either way. But you should probably be there, too.”
“And why is that?” I questioned.
“Because you’re extraordinarily opinionated, and I’m sure you’ll want a chance to air your views.”
My views on which subject?” I said between gritted teeth, as I realised my inkling was correct.
“This isn’t just about you anymore. You’re not the centre of the universe, you know. If you’re going to bring the Volturi down on us over something as stupid as leaving me human, then your family ought to have a say.”
“A say in what?” I said slowly, not necessarily wanting to hear the answer.
“My mortality. I’m putting it to a vote.”
I gulped, swallowing back a snarl of complete anguish.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆


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Sophieeeeeee! I was starting getting worry that you left us!
Amazing. thats the only word I can find.
LOL Leanne...
No i didn't leave!
Just busy busy!

Thankyouuuuuuuuuuuuuuu...i'm glad you liked it!
=D
wow!!! that was AMAZING!! im soooo glad u posted it. i am very looking foward to the next chapter. thnx 4 posting.
Thanks Katie!!
=D
hahaha Tami!
You're forgiven!

I'm not surprised you miss some with the amount you read and as well as writing your own!
I can barely keep up with my own!

Lovesya
xx
awsome , as always! :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
=D
Thankyou!
FINALLY!!!!
A NEW CHAPTER!!!
it was great like always!!
i can't wait for the next chapter!
post sooner this time! :D

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