im scared of not being with you
a new twilight begins 20yrs after BD... my main character has leucemia.... but can Annie love when she is about to die in a year? will he return her love? will they both realize the true meaning of life?
i really cant tell in wich book my fic is based..... tecnically i mixed twilight(duh)...a walk to remember so if you se any of those book's material or even quoutes from them i dont own any copright or anything......
enjoy the fic
Love is like the wind. You cannot see it but you can always feel it…..
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Our world is filled with opposites everywhere.....love, hate …..Earth, Sky, Sound and silence….. Day, Night….. Dark and light…. Winter, summer….. Moon, Sun… new, old….fast and slow…healthy, sick… right and wrong…..good, bad..… Joy and pain…. Hunter, prey…. Life and death…..
Opposites are very common in nature they are everywhere around us…… but what happens when the summer falls in love with the winter….. the day with the night….. the light with the darkness…… what if the right fell in love with the wrong…
what if everyday opposites were drawn to each other ….we all know that without the darkness there wouldn’t exist the light….. the night is needed for the day to come …… the hunter cannot exist without the prey and life would be nothing without death….
some opposites just can’t exist lacking of the other ….I know that .…but does it aply to my case?... do opposites realy attract themselves….
I knew it from the moment I saw him….i knew this would end up badly for either of us…. Earth sky….. I really tried not to love him…..day night……I knew i would die… I was sick after all ….. moon sun…. I really wish not to cause him pain with my departure I wish he didn’t love me as much as I love him…..summer winter…… that was the whole purpose of trying not to love him…… good bad…. Preventing him from grief…. Joy pain….. but I fell for him anyway so why avoid faith?.....Hunter prey….. I will continue to enjoy his love while I’m still alive….. Healthy sick…… but I’m still afraid to hurt him…..Life and death….
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“Are you scared?” he asks
“To death?”..... She answers
“Lighten up” she smiles at him.
“It's not funny.”
“I'm scared of not being with you.” She lets a tear go
“Oh baby that will never happen... I'll be here.”
A walk to remember the movie (edited conversation between Jamie and Landon)
___________________________________________________________________________________
Chapter 1: welcome to my new life ohh and forks
“Your car has already been delivered here honey your plane will be arriving soon ill be waiting” said my aunt from the plane phone I had in my hand
“ohh yeahh the flight attendant said so and don’t worry about the car you know how I get behind a steering wheel…. You will probably have to drive me to school every morning…..” my voice broke
“ok Annie I’ll be waiting here …. Elizabeth called me some time ago…. blabbering again about taking care of you”
“That’s soooo Liz…… probably just worrying about what im going to wear arriving at this ew home…. Where did you say again it was?”
“Forks Washington….. ohhh gotta go I’m out of time see you…. I love you Annie”
“I love you to aunty” then I hanged the phone
My name is Georgiana Melody white…… everybody calls me Melody because Georgiana sounds a little creepy for me.... but my family calls me Annie short of Georgiana….. except my parents and my cousins among them Liz who call me by my rightful name melody…..
My parents died that summer….. The tree of us were in a car crash and my mom and dad jumped in front of me protecting me with their body’s….. Leaving me alone…… I woke up in the hospital only to hear my mother’s last words and my father’s last breath…… I was devastated…. I still am…. Ever since that day I’m afraid of driving, hospitals and many other things reminding me of that horrible day…..i miss them terribly…. Why didn’t I die too?.....
It has been four months since the accident …. It’s now halfway October….. My family keeps saying that I should move on and get out from my sorrow…… but how…. They were my parents for god’s sake…… my everything were them……
In my mother’s will she left the custody to my aunt Caroline….. Aunt Caroline was a widow…. Her only son... Mark... had gone to college four years ago to study medicine leaving her alone….we both had something in common……
she was my favorite aunt and sometimes my parents would take me to visit her when uncle Lucas was alive….
I loved to visit a nearby beach with mom and dad when we dropped by….. Mark would make fun of me because he always had to take me out of the water before I “drowned”….(up to now I still don’t know how to swim)….. Mark was five years older than me….that little brat always poking me when I was a kid……. Those were good times….. Aunty Uncle Mark Mom Dad and Me enjoying the beach…..
Those were one of my treasured childhood memories….. About the rest of forks I didn’t know…. It was a small town and I was just past preschool stage….
I never really got to see anything besides the pretty cloudy beach whose name I dint recall and the nearby woods I thought was were the big bad wolf lived and the tree bears….. I used to say playfully that one day I would be goldilocks and go into the Forrest….. my mom would laugh and scoop me in her arms while Mark would tease me about me being little red riding hood and he being the wolf chasing me around the house muhaaahaaa…… sometimes when the rain soaked the window making the woods blurry I imagined that Forrest as the one snow-white ran to and found the seven draft house…… I was a little kid then so filled with imagination…….
But the truth is I never really got to see forks….. I do remember things like shops and stores passing in the car window as but nothing much….. I remember a old copper skinned man telling stories in a bonfire on our visits to the cloudy beach… I think I really liked the stories because I remember clapping my hands and giggling in my father’s lap…… that was before Uncle Lucas death…..
Then Aunt Caroline was the one to come and visit in Idaho with Mark….. She found comfort and relief in my family eventually getting over my uncle’s death….. Aunt Caroline was the second closest person to me after Liz now more than ever….. She stopped visiting us when Mark left for college but she still was my favorite aunt…..
Over the past months I had been hiding from life in my bedroom in my granny’s house killing myself with pain……
until Caroline called and told me if I wanted to move In with her in forks….I agreed willingly anything to escape the somber aura that surrounded the sunshine and me back in Idaho……. and I didn’t even bother to pack I took a flight to Seattle right away….. of course my fashionista cousin Liz already packed about ten suitcases for me filled with what she thought I would need and sent my car from Idaho to forks before I even knew that I was going to move in with Caroline…..
Liz was worried about me too….. She had stayed with me while she could….. But my grief was affecting her….. She cared for me too and took all the things “I would have brought” to a new home and packed them….. for once I was happy for her intrusive attitude…..
I dint want to return to my parents house for anything not even my car let out clothes and she did it for me….. She said she had shopped for me so I would have enough clothes and that she would be sending a new load every moth just to have the pleasure of dressing me up even if she wouldn’t see me…. Liz would always be Liz ……
God whatever you got me into…
The plane reached Seattle it was raining just as I remembered…… my aunt was already waiting for me…. happy to see that I was finally arriving….. She was as caring as my mother... I loved her
……coming to live with Caroline was maybe a good decision… she had gotten over something as terrible as the death of love she should be able to understand me…..give me my space……
“Annie I’m so glad you are here” she said giving me a hug “I guess we will need to put some of those in the backseat of the car” she overlooked behind my shoulder to find ten suitcases finely pilled by the airport attendants
“yeahh you know how Liz gets” I tried to smile but it wasn’t at all convincing
“yeah she is kinda crazy good thing she has you to slow her train down” aunty grinned
We were going to the car and as she said the things didn’t fit in the trunk of her blue minivan so the rest went to the back seat….. as soon as we were in the car it started to drizzle……the our lasting drive was normal...... Caroline made sure not to upset me with anything she said and we talked about the weather that was rainy…..
for all that i remembered of forks the rain was stamped in my memories…. Always raining not a ray of sun trough the dark everlasting grey sky….. It could be a good thing…… Idaho was almost always sunny….. my parents died in a sunny day…. The last thing I remembered before the hospital was that evil sunshine…… rain now seemed nice and friendly…..reminding me of my current mood….
“You will like it here in forks honey don’t worry”….I looked through the car windows to see a sign
“welcome to forks”
The driveway sped up little as I watched the procession of houses…..
“Annie I know your having a hard time if there’s something you want to talk about I’ll be here ok” Aunt Caroline said from the driver seat as she pulled the car over
“its ok I mean mom and dad are in a better place right” I grimaced “I just didn’t think they would leave so soon” I muttered under my breath…I stepped out of the warm car into the pondering rain and saw ahead of me what seemed like a house in blur of rain
“Come in” aunt Caroline called out from inside “you need to see your new room…..I decorated it you will love it” I was hardly exited but why let her know that….
“Coming!!!... just unloading one of my bags” …… Caroline helped me…… taking tree trips for both of us to have the car empty
My aunty left for work ……something to give me privacy….. My room was nice and warm I even had the balcony facing the driveway…. my aunty was way too good with me….. The screen doors covered with pink silk curtains gave it a nice effect…… and in day when the water wasn’t threatening my sanity I would get a chance to open them and read books in the little space between the doors and the security railing……
I had a big bed covered with quilts also a huge dresser (idea of Liz I suppose) a empty two door closet and my own bathroom it was just perfect….. a little bit of heaven in what i supposed would get to be my hell
My first two suitcases were filled with all the books of my former bookshelf (thanks again Liz)….. Other two were filled with school bags and purses along with a note that read: I didnt know what you would have picked so I got the prettiest…….
Next were other two big cases filled to the top with shoe boxes….. Next tree I left untouched because I knew they had designer clothes and the last one had all my necessary technologies…..
My thin blue apple laptop…..my iphone… my gps….my old cell phone and tons of other useless technologies including alarm clock…. IPod and a car mini palm….. Liz’s dad…. my uncle George was a supervisor in a “cs technologies” department…… everything Liz thought was two minutes outdated she gave it to me….. But these were new…. My uncle’s present for not being at my parents funeral….. Also many of my new things were a relative’s gift too….. Like if their presents could my parents back….
After making sure everything was in order aunty called me for dinner……
“Mmm what’s that smell Caroline?” I asked using her full name
“Its homemade pizza ohh and Annie don’t call me Caroline just aunty carol like when you were a toddler” she grinned as she put the slice of pizza in a plate before my eyes…..
“Ok atie-carol boo” I grinned over my glum mood to make a joke…. I use to call her so before I learned to speak well….. My mom used to laugh at that….another reason for Mark to tease me….. the tears began to creep to my eyes and i began thinking in whatever….. the molecular composition of the pizza? To keep me busy
“very funny Annie very funny….. You know I already enrolled you in school….. Liz said you turn eighteen soon..... she wants to hear from your school life when she comes over…. You are a senior right? Well since classes started in September and its about halfway October you may need to catch up but it’s nothing that can’t be achieved with some work”
“Great carol when do I start?” I was surprised by my enthusiasm but the sooner I got to see the rest of the purgatory the sooner I would get used to it…
“Tomorrow honey so get to sleep you will need it” I smiled and only ate half of my pizza…. I went upstairs and took a shower
After showering I brushed my teeth and gazed in my reflection, I had my curly dark brown almost black hair to my shoulders, which I didn’t like I always tried to straightened it with a hair dryer trick that didn’t work on rainy days
My eye color matched my hair........ both of my eyes were dark amber if you looked closely you could see a little of a dark honey tone but they always stayed amber almost black forever followed by the light purple tone under my eyes indicating my recent lack of sleep but this wasn’t something carol would nag about….
the part of my appearance that most bothered me was my skin color, I was pale…. extremely pale…. my skin made a corpse look healthy, that was why some people stared at me everywhere….. I looked like I should be in a hospital rather than doing anything else………
But there was nothing to do…….. The truth no one knew is that I was sick; I had a strange case of leukemia since I was born…. My case was so rare that the doctors had no actual treatment for it they said that I wouldn’t live past my 19……
my parents cared for me and advice me to do things before it was too late they were the only ones who knew about my disease and I of course, the rest of my family including Liz and carol thought that my paleness increasing over time was just pollution or that I never eaten well, mom and dad were the closest ones to me and never told anyone my secret….now they were gone
I spaced from my family after I was fifteen so my departure wouldn’t hurt them much…. that was the main reason I had little friends and no boyfriends…… because I was afraid of the pain it would cause them to see me die…… I secretly resented faith…… I would never get a chance to go to college…… to fall in love to get married and be a mother…… I would never get a chance to live fully because my body was too weak; life was mean to me……
Moving here to forks was a good choice…. I knew I would eventually have to tell carol but when I died she would be the only one sad right? Apart from Liz…. The rest of the family didn’t know me well….. They would only remember me as Beth and Gordon’s daughter…..maybe cry a bit nothing more…..
I dressed in a blue pajamas and got on my laptop….. Only one mail received from Liz and she was just wishing me good luck…. I smiled and sent her a detailed explanation of my flight and room in forks assuring her I would be online via iphone and that I was happy which wasn’t true but she wouldn’t smell a lie by mail would she?…..
I got on my bed not bothering to shut down my laptop…… as always I had a restless night that adding the rain became even more restless…. well at least I didn’t dream with that dreadful day
….at least….
did you like it? im so happy to finally be able to post.... please commento i wont get to write more.... next chapter will be a litle funny.....btw do you want me to do derek's pov of annie's first day?..
sincerelyescaily
table of conts
Chapter 2: pg 1
http://www.thetwilightsaga.com/group/fanfiction/forum/topics/im-sca...
Chapter 3 part 1: pg 3
http://www.thetwilightsaga.com/forum/topics/im-scared-of-not-being-...
Chapter 3 part 2: pg 4
http://www.thetwilightsaga.com/forum/topics/im-scared-of-not-being-...
Chapter 4 part 1: pg 5
http://www.thetwilightsaga.com/forum/topics/im-scared-of-not-being-...
Chapter 4 part 2: pg 6
http://www.thetwilightsaga.com/forum/topics/im-scared-of-not-being-...
Chapter 5 part 1, 2.3. chapter 6 part 1 and 2: pg 8
http://www.thetwilightsaga.com/forum/topics/im-scared-of-not-being-...
Chapter 7 part 1:pg 9
http://www.thetwilightsaga.com/forum/topics/im-scared-of-not-being-...
Chapter 7 part 2: pg 10
http://www.thetwilightsaga.com/forum/topics/im-scared-of-not-being-...
Chapter 8 part 1 and 2 :pg 12
http://www.thetwilightsaga.com/forum/topics/im-scared-of-not-being-...
Chapter 8 part 3 and 4 :pg 13
http://www.thetwilightsaga.com/forum/topics/im-scared-of-not-being-...
Chapter 9 part 1 2 and 3 :pg 23
http://www.thetwilightsaga.com/forum/topics/im-scared-of-not-being-...
Chapter 9 part 4: pg 24
http://www.thetwilightsaga.com/forum/topics/im-scared-of-not-being-...
Chapter 10: pg 26
http://www.thetwilightsaga.com/forum/topics/im-scared-of-not-being-...
Chapter 11 and 12: pg 27
http://www.thetwilightsaga.com/forum/topics/im-scared-of-not-being-...
Chapter 13 part 1 and 2: pg 45
http://www.thetwilightsaga.com/forum/topics/im-scared-of-not-being-...
Chapter 14 (not 21) pg 46
http://www.thetwilightsaga.com/forum/topics/im-scared-of-not-being-...
chapter 15
http://www.thetwilightsaga.com/forum/topics/im-scared-of-not-being-...
chapter 16
http://www.thetwilightsaga.com/forum/topics/im-scared-of-not-being-...
ohhh if you already rad the last update here is a pic
i really cant tell in wich book my fic is based..... tecnically i mixed twilight(duh)...a walk to remember so if you se any of those book's material or even quoutes from them i dont own any copright or anything......
enjoy the fic
Love is like the wind. You cannot see it but you can always feel it…..
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Our world is filled with opposites everywhere.....love, hate …..Earth, Sky, Sound and silence….. Day, Night….. Dark and light…. Winter, summer….. Moon, Sun… new, old….fast and slow…healthy, sick… right and wrong…..good, bad..… Joy and pain…. Hunter, prey…. Life and death…..
Opposites are very common in nature they are everywhere around us…… but what happens when the summer falls in love with the winter….. the day with the night….. the light with the darkness…… what if the right fell in love with the wrong…
what if everyday opposites were drawn to each other ….we all know that without the darkness there wouldn’t exist the light….. the night is needed for the day to come …… the hunter cannot exist without the prey and life would be nothing without death….
some opposites just can’t exist lacking of the other ….I know that .…but does it aply to my case?... do opposites realy attract themselves….
I knew it from the moment I saw him….i knew this would end up badly for either of us…. Earth sky….. I really tried not to love him…..day night……I knew i would die… I was sick after all ….. moon sun…. I really wish not to cause him pain with my departure I wish he didn’t love me as much as I love him…..summer winter…… that was the whole purpose of trying not to love him…… good bad…. Preventing him from grief…. Joy pain….. but I fell for him anyway so why avoid faith?.....Hunter prey….. I will continue to enjoy his love while I’m still alive….. Healthy sick…… but I’m still afraid to hurt him…..Life and death….
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“Are you scared?” he asks
“To death?”..... She answers
“Lighten up” she smiles at him.
“It's not funny.”
“I'm scared of not being with you.” She lets a tear go
“Oh baby that will never happen... I'll be here.”
A walk to remember the movie (edited conversation between Jamie and Landon)
___________________________________________________________________________________
Chapter 1: welcome to my new life ohh and forks
“Your car has already been delivered here honey your plane will be arriving soon ill be waiting” said my aunt from the plane phone I had in my hand
“ohh yeahh the flight attendant said so and don’t worry about the car you know how I get behind a steering wheel…. You will probably have to drive me to school every morning…..” my voice broke
“ok Annie I’ll be waiting here …. Elizabeth called me some time ago…. blabbering again about taking care of you”
“That’s soooo Liz…… probably just worrying about what im going to wear arriving at this ew home…. Where did you say again it was?”
“Forks Washington….. ohhh gotta go I’m out of time see you…. I love you Annie”
“I love you to aunty” then I hanged the phone
My name is Georgiana Melody white…… everybody calls me Melody because Georgiana sounds a little creepy for me.... but my family calls me Annie short of Georgiana….. except my parents and my cousins among them Liz who call me by my rightful name melody…..
My parents died that summer….. The tree of us were in a car crash and my mom and dad jumped in front of me protecting me with their body’s….. Leaving me alone…… I woke up in the hospital only to hear my mother’s last words and my father’s last breath…… I was devastated…. I still am…. Ever since that day I’m afraid of driving, hospitals and many other things reminding me of that horrible day…..i miss them terribly…. Why didn’t I die too?.....
It has been four months since the accident …. It’s now halfway October….. My family keeps saying that I should move on and get out from my sorrow…… but how…. They were my parents for god’s sake…… my everything were them……
In my mother’s will she left the custody to my aunt Caroline….. Aunt Caroline was a widow…. Her only son... Mark... had gone to college four years ago to study medicine leaving her alone….we both had something in common……
she was my favorite aunt and sometimes my parents would take me to visit her when uncle Lucas was alive….
I loved to visit a nearby beach with mom and dad when we dropped by….. Mark would make fun of me because he always had to take me out of the water before I “drowned”….(up to now I still don’t know how to swim)….. Mark was five years older than me….that little brat always poking me when I was a kid……. Those were good times….. Aunty Uncle Mark Mom Dad and Me enjoying the beach…..
Those were one of my treasured childhood memories….. About the rest of forks I didn’t know…. It was a small town and I was just past preschool stage….
I never really got to see anything besides the pretty cloudy beach whose name I dint recall and the nearby woods I thought was were the big bad wolf lived and the tree bears….. I used to say playfully that one day I would be goldilocks and go into the Forrest….. my mom would laugh and scoop me in her arms while Mark would tease me about me being little red riding hood and he being the wolf chasing me around the house muhaaahaaa…… sometimes when the rain soaked the window making the woods blurry I imagined that Forrest as the one snow-white ran to and found the seven draft house…… I was a little kid then so filled with imagination…….
But the truth is I never really got to see forks….. I do remember things like shops and stores passing in the car window as but nothing much….. I remember a old copper skinned man telling stories in a bonfire on our visits to the cloudy beach… I think I really liked the stories because I remember clapping my hands and giggling in my father’s lap…… that was before Uncle Lucas death…..
Then Aunt Caroline was the one to come and visit in Idaho with Mark….. She found comfort and relief in my family eventually getting over my uncle’s death….. Aunt Caroline was the second closest person to me after Liz now more than ever….. She stopped visiting us when Mark left for college but she still was my favorite aunt…..
Over the past months I had been hiding from life in my bedroom in my granny’s house killing myself with pain……
until Caroline called and told me if I wanted to move In with her in forks….I agreed willingly anything to escape the somber aura that surrounded the sunshine and me back in Idaho……. and I didn’t even bother to pack I took a flight to Seattle right away….. of course my fashionista cousin Liz already packed about ten suitcases for me filled with what she thought I would need and sent my car from Idaho to forks before I even knew that I was going to move in with Caroline…..
Liz was worried about me too….. She had stayed with me while she could….. But my grief was affecting her….. She cared for me too and took all the things “I would have brought” to a new home and packed them….. for once I was happy for her intrusive attitude…..
I dint want to return to my parents house for anything not even my car let out clothes and she did it for me….. She said she had shopped for me so I would have enough clothes and that she would be sending a new load every moth just to have the pleasure of dressing me up even if she wouldn’t see me…. Liz would always be Liz ……
God whatever you got me into…
The plane reached Seattle it was raining just as I remembered…… my aunt was already waiting for me…. happy to see that I was finally arriving….. She was as caring as my mother... I loved her
……coming to live with Caroline was maybe a good decision… she had gotten over something as terrible as the death of love she should be able to understand me…..give me my space……
“Annie I’m so glad you are here” she said giving me a hug “I guess we will need to put some of those in the backseat of the car” she overlooked behind my shoulder to find ten suitcases finely pilled by the airport attendants
“yeahh you know how Liz gets” I tried to smile but it wasn’t at all convincing
“yeah she is kinda crazy good thing she has you to slow her train down” aunty grinned
We were going to the car and as she said the things didn’t fit in the trunk of her blue minivan so the rest went to the back seat….. as soon as we were in the car it started to drizzle……the our lasting drive was normal...... Caroline made sure not to upset me with anything she said and we talked about the weather that was rainy…..
for all that i remembered of forks the rain was stamped in my memories…. Always raining not a ray of sun trough the dark everlasting grey sky….. It could be a good thing…… Idaho was almost always sunny….. my parents died in a sunny day…. The last thing I remembered before the hospital was that evil sunshine…… rain now seemed nice and friendly…..reminding me of my current mood….
“You will like it here in forks honey don’t worry”….I looked through the car windows to see a sign
“welcome to forks”
The driveway sped up little as I watched the procession of houses…..
“Annie I know your having a hard time if there’s something you want to talk about I’ll be here ok” Aunt Caroline said from the driver seat as she pulled the car over
“its ok I mean mom and dad are in a better place right” I grimaced “I just didn’t think they would leave so soon” I muttered under my breath…I stepped out of the warm car into the pondering rain and saw ahead of me what seemed like a house in blur of rain
“Come in” aunt Caroline called out from inside “you need to see your new room…..I decorated it you will love it” I was hardly exited but why let her know that….
“Coming!!!... just unloading one of my bags” …… Caroline helped me…… taking tree trips for both of us to have the car empty
My aunty left for work ……something to give me privacy….. My room was nice and warm I even had the balcony facing the driveway…. my aunty was way too good with me….. The screen doors covered with pink silk curtains gave it a nice effect…… and in day when the water wasn’t threatening my sanity I would get a chance to open them and read books in the little space between the doors and the security railing……
I had a big bed covered with quilts also a huge dresser (idea of Liz I suppose) a empty two door closet and my own bathroom it was just perfect….. a little bit of heaven in what i supposed would get to be my hell
My first two suitcases were filled with all the books of my former bookshelf (thanks again Liz)….. Other two were filled with school bags and purses along with a note that read: I didnt know what you would have picked so I got the prettiest…….
Next were other two big cases filled to the top with shoe boxes….. Next tree I left untouched because I knew they had designer clothes and the last one had all my necessary technologies…..
My thin blue apple laptop…..my iphone… my gps….my old cell phone and tons of other useless technologies including alarm clock…. IPod and a car mini palm….. Liz’s dad…. my uncle George was a supervisor in a “cs technologies” department…… everything Liz thought was two minutes outdated she gave it to me….. But these were new…. My uncle’s present for not being at my parents funeral….. Also many of my new things were a relative’s gift too….. Like if their presents could my parents back….
After making sure everything was in order aunty called me for dinner……
“Mmm what’s that smell Caroline?” I asked using her full name
“Its homemade pizza ohh and Annie don’t call me Caroline just aunty carol like when you were a toddler” she grinned as she put the slice of pizza in a plate before my eyes…..
“Ok atie-carol boo” I grinned over my glum mood to make a joke…. I use to call her so before I learned to speak well….. My mom used to laugh at that….another reason for Mark to tease me….. the tears began to creep to my eyes and i began thinking in whatever….. the molecular composition of the pizza? To keep me busy
“very funny Annie very funny….. You know I already enrolled you in school….. Liz said you turn eighteen soon..... she wants to hear from your school life when she comes over…. You are a senior right? Well since classes started in September and its about halfway October you may need to catch up but it’s nothing that can’t be achieved with some work”
“Great carol when do I start?” I was surprised by my enthusiasm but the sooner I got to see the rest of the purgatory the sooner I would get used to it…
“Tomorrow honey so get to sleep you will need it” I smiled and only ate half of my pizza…. I went upstairs and took a shower
After showering I brushed my teeth and gazed in my reflection, I had my curly dark brown almost black hair to my shoulders, which I didn’t like I always tried to straightened it with a hair dryer trick that didn’t work on rainy days
My eye color matched my hair........ both of my eyes were dark amber if you looked closely you could see a little of a dark honey tone but they always stayed amber almost black forever followed by the light purple tone under my eyes indicating my recent lack of sleep but this wasn’t something carol would nag about….
the part of my appearance that most bothered me was my skin color, I was pale…. extremely pale…. my skin made a corpse look healthy, that was why some people stared at me everywhere….. I looked like I should be in a hospital rather than doing anything else………
But there was nothing to do…….. The truth no one knew is that I was sick; I had a strange case of leukemia since I was born…. My case was so rare that the doctors had no actual treatment for it they said that I wouldn’t live past my 19……
my parents cared for me and advice me to do things before it was too late they were the only ones who knew about my disease and I of course, the rest of my family including Liz and carol thought that my paleness increasing over time was just pollution or that I never eaten well, mom and dad were the closest ones to me and never told anyone my secret….now they were gone
I spaced from my family after I was fifteen so my departure wouldn’t hurt them much…. that was the main reason I had little friends and no boyfriends…… because I was afraid of the pain it would cause them to see me die…… I secretly resented faith…… I would never get a chance to go to college…… to fall in love to get married and be a mother…… I would never get a chance to live fully because my body was too weak; life was mean to me……
Moving here to forks was a good choice…. I knew I would eventually have to tell carol but when I died she would be the only one sad right? Apart from Liz…. The rest of the family didn’t know me well….. They would only remember me as Beth and Gordon’s daughter…..maybe cry a bit nothing more…..
I dressed in a blue pajamas and got on my laptop….. Only one mail received from Liz and she was just wishing me good luck…. I smiled and sent her a detailed explanation of my flight and room in forks assuring her I would be online via iphone and that I was happy which wasn’t true but she wouldn’t smell a lie by mail would she?…..
I got on my bed not bothering to shut down my laptop…… as always I had a restless night that adding the rain became even more restless…. well at least I didn’t dream with that dreadful day
….at least….
did you like it? im so happy to finally be able to post.... please commento i wont get to write more.... next chapter will be a litle funny.....btw do you want me to do derek's pov of annie's first day?..
sincerelyescaily
table of conts
Chapter 2: pg 1
http://www.thetwilightsaga.com/group/fanfiction/forum/topics/im-sca...
Chapter 3 part 1: pg 3
http://www.thetwilightsaga.com/forum/topics/im-scared-of-not-being-...
Chapter 3 part 2: pg 4
http://www.thetwilightsaga.com/forum/topics/im-scared-of-not-being-...
Chapter 4 part 1: pg 5
http://www.thetwilightsaga.com/forum/topics/im-scared-of-not-being-...
Chapter 4 part 2: pg 6
http://www.thetwilightsaga.com/forum/topics/im-scared-of-not-being-...
Chapter 5 part 1, 2.3. chapter 6 part 1 and 2: pg 8
http://www.thetwilightsaga.com/forum/topics/im-scared-of-not-being-...
Chapter 7 part 1:pg 9
http://www.thetwilightsaga.com/forum/topics/im-scared-of-not-being-...
Chapter 7 part 2: pg 10
http://www.thetwilightsaga.com/forum/topics/im-scared-of-not-being-...
Chapter 8 part 1 and 2 :pg 12
http://www.thetwilightsaga.com/forum/topics/im-scared-of-not-being-...
Chapter 8 part 3 and 4 :pg 13
http://www.thetwilightsaga.com/forum/topics/im-scared-of-not-being-...
Chapter 9 part 1 2 and 3 :pg 23
http://www.thetwilightsaga.com/forum/topics/im-scared-of-not-being-...
Chapter 9 part 4: pg 24
http://www.thetwilightsaga.com/forum/topics/im-scared-of-not-being-...
Chapter 10: pg 26
http://www.thetwilightsaga.com/forum/topics/im-scared-of-not-being-...
Chapter 11 and 12: pg 27
http://www.thetwilightsaga.com/forum/topics/im-scared-of-not-being-...
Chapter 13 part 1 and 2: pg 45
http://www.thetwilightsaga.com/forum/topics/im-scared-of-not-being-...
Chapter 14 (not 21) pg 46
http://www.thetwilightsaga.com/forum/topics/im-scared-of-not-being-...
chapter 15
http://www.thetwilightsaga.com/forum/topics/im-scared-of-not-being-...
chapter 16
http://www.thetwilightsaga.com/forum/topics/im-scared-of-not-being-...
ohhh if you already rad the last update here is a pic
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