Eclipse written from Jacob's pov. Obviously this is the sequel to Jacob's NM. This will be Eclipse as SM wrote it, I will not be changing the ending. For an alternate ending to Eclipse, check out my story Bella's Sun. - http://thetwilightsaga.com/group/officialteamjacob/forum/topics/bel...
(This story starts off the same as Bella's Sun, that story will detour in chapter 3)
Chapter 1 - WAR
Again! Sam yelled, as I picked myself up from the ground shaking dirt and gravel from my fur. Paul crouched down and we circled and evaded one another, each of us reading the mind of the other. Our pack mates watched closely and their own thoughts mixed in as well intensifying the challenge. We all have been practicing for days trying to sharpen our reflexes, and allowing our wolf to react rather than think and decide. When successful our wolf would move almost completely without thought and catch the other one by surprise, it was fantastic. Sam was careful not to let any of us get too seriously injured, but lets just say it is a good thing we heal fast.
When I returned from Bella's with the knowledge that she wanted the Cullens to make her one of them it became clear that the treaty was going to be broken. We had no idea how much time we would have, but we wanted to be ready.
Our greatest obstacles were Edward's ability to read our minds and Alice's ability to know the future. Her knowing what we were going to do the moment we decided was scary and our only option was to be faster than ever before. There would be no time to hesitate or second guess, no time to think. Jasper's ability to control our emotions was equally scary, and I sure hoped that Sam had some idea of how to counteract that because I could think of nothing. We knew that the Cullen coven would be a united front and we would have to be ready.
Fight training turned out to be a perfect way to vent our pent up anxiety and frustration. None of us took the treaty being broken lightly, and would not hesitate to declare war. However for me it was so much more than a treaty that was being violated, it was Bella who was putting herself on the alter as a human sacrifice. How could she not value her life more than that? Does she not see how important she is?
Suddenly I felt Paul's hard head directly into to my chest and I was on my back and his teeth instantly went around my throat making it where I couldn't breathe. Paul stand down. Sam ordered, and Paul's hold immediately released and oxygen refilled my lungs. Great job Paul,Sam acknowledged. Jacob distractions like that are going to get you killed.
Once again I picked myself off the ground and was angry and embarrassed. I hated that Bella still had that affect on me. I couldn't help but think about her, she called all the time and just wouldn't take the hint that we were over. There was never a we to begin without, outside of being her “best friend” and I knew that the love I had for her could not be stuffed back inside the ''friendship box”, we had gotten too close for that. That ship had sailed, and along with it my hopes and dreams of a life with Bella.
Pulling myself together I sat to the side and watched the next set sparring with one another, sometimes it was one on one and other times we had two on one. Some days were spent more on the mental training of combat and others were more physical endurance. Fighting against a large coven was mostly likely not going to be over very quickly and we so we ran for hours and hours. Most of the time we could make a game similar to tag, where one or two wolves would be “it” and would try and hit the others to work on dodging and running. After a couple more hours Sam declared training over and we all went home hungry and tired.
Quil had joined the pack about one week after the Cullens returned. He was so freaking excited to be in on the secret, and have his friends back, he didn't care about anything else. He stayed a wolf for just over a week, not in any hurry to get back to his human life and his girlfriend got frustrated not knowing where he was and broke up with him. They had only been dating about a month, so Quil took the break up well and really so did she. I must admit it is fantastic to have Quil with us and to not have to keep it from him anymore.
The pack feels complete and there is a sense of unity among us all, a brotherhood. Well maybe not all, Leah is still as difficult as ever and never fails to remind us of how she feels like an 'outsider' among 'outsiders'. We have all learned to pretty much take her moaning and complaining as just part of her charming personality.
In no time I made it home, landing on two feet, slipped on my shorts and walked inside. It was dark inside with only a handwritten note indicating that dad had gone fishing with Charlie. I cringed at the idea of what those two gossips would plan and scheme while having the whole day together. As much as I loved my dad, he really needed to get a life so he could stay out of mine. I suppose I could try and just pretend like I wasn't dying a little more each day that I ignored Bella, and then he wouldn't worry so much, but I wasn't really good about hiding my feelings. I always seemed to lay things out straight, just how it was. You couldn't sugar coat crap, and that is just how things are right now.
I walked over to the freezer and smiled when I saw three boxes of pizza staring back at me. I got them all out and turned on the oven while I sat them on the counter. I opened one box took the plastic wrap and cardboard off and placed it in the oven. It would need to cook for 20 minutes so I decided to jump in the shower and get cleaned up. The water felt great relaxing my tired muscles and I washed my hair and realized I would need to cut it again soon. I probably should have weeks ago, but I just didn't have the energy to care.
I got out of the shower, dried myself off, and walked to my room for some sweat pants. As I entered the kitchen I could smell the pizza and my mouth began to water. I removed the hot pizza from the oven and got the second pizza out of the box placing it in the oven to cook. I ate the first pizza while the 2nd cooked, and when it was ready did the same with the third. Once I was finished eating I sat down in front of the TV for some mindless relaxation.
It didn't take long before I heard my dad rolling in the front door.
“Hey Dad, there is some pizza on the counter if you are hungry.” I said from the couch.
“Okay, thanks.” Billy replied as he rolled over to me and dropped a folded square piece of paper that said 'Jacob' across the front into my lap.
“What is this?” I asked picking it up. He completely ignored me as he rolled back into the kitchen, I assumed for pizza. I opened the paper and my eyes about jumped out of their sockets as I read.
Please Jacob, talk to me!! I didn't read any further as the paper dropped from my hands and floated like a feather to the floor, as I bolted from the couch and stormed into the kitchen.
“What the hell was that!?!” I yelled.
“Jacob she's trying. Give her a chance to fix things.” Billy took two slices of pizza and set them on his plate and rolled in front of the kitchen table.
“What on earth for? Do you want me to just pretend that she isn't suicidal? Or has she given Edward up?” I asked sarcastically while pacing back and forth in our small kitchen.
“No. She hasn't. But she cares about you, maybe you could get her to change her mind.”
“Like that'll ever happen.”
“Well maybe it would if you would stop sulking, put on your big boy pants and read that damn note. You might just learn something.”
I stopped dead in my tracks in the middle of the kitchen, “Did you read it?” I was so shocked I didn't know what more to say.
“No, good grief Jacob. Neither Charlie nor I have read it. But the fact that she sent it in the first place is all I needed to know.”
I pulled my chair out and slumped into it, “I can't believe this.” I said shaking my head.
“Come on Jacob, she needs you and I know you need her too.”
“But that's the problem Dad, I need her far more than she needs me. I can't go back to being the friend she wants me to be, too much has happened.”
“Wouldn't her friendship be better than nothing at all?”
“I don't know. What would be the point?”
“And I think she needs you even more than you need her, she just doesn't realize it.”
“I know.” I looked up and I could see the note shouting at me from the living room floor. “I can't deal with this right now, I'm going for a walk.” I said as I stood from the table.
“Okay. Hey there is a bucket of fish outside, would you mind bringing them in.”
“Sure, sure.” I said as I got up and walked outside grabbed the bucket and brought inside next to the kitchen sink. “I'll be back before too late.”
As I stepped outside I could see the sun start to descend and I knew it would be slipping away into darkness soon. I walked over to the beach and listened to the waves come and lick my feet before receding back into the ocean. My mind was a mess, I didn't know what to do about Bella. Why was a friendship with me so important to her if she wasn't planning on giving up Edward and her desire to be one of them? I did the best I could to avoid thinking about that last part, how her skin would ice over, her beautiful heart would no longer beat, and her chocolate brown eyes would be lost forever.
A silent tear slipped out of the corner of my eye and my heart ached at the possibility of Bella being my enemy. The instinct to attack and kill would spread through my body regardless of the face that stood before me. I felt helpless as I sat down in the rough sand, laying flat on my back as I watched the sun continue to slip away. I felt someone come and sit beside me, but I didn't bother to turn my head to see who it was, instead I just watched as the sky filled with blazing oranges and pinks until slowly the colors slipped away into black.
I felt a hand, small and cold, settle itself into my own. For a second I didn't move, had Bella driven out here? I had never known Bella to be this silent, and I'm sure she would have had plenty to say if she were here. Also I knew Bella's scent by heart and this was very different. I could smell sweat mixed with a sweet apple smell, like a lotion or perfume. I lightly moved my hand and could feel the delicate fingers and my thumb rubbed the soft skin at the wrist, it felt so different that I had no idea who's hand it could be. Slowly out of curiosity I turned my head and saw the dark russet skin and hazel eyes that I knew to belong to Jackie.
I laid my head back down and relaxed my hand, which she didn't let go of, and looked out across the night sky. “What are you doing?” I asked.
“You just looked so lonely.”
“Did it ever occur to you that I wanted to be alone?”
“Yes.” She took a deep breathe. “Something has happened to you Jake, and it scares me sometimes.” Her voice trembled some and I looked at her arms covered in goosebumps. She had a tight sleeveless shirt, matching pink and brown pants, and running shoes, I guess she had been running along the beach when she found me.
I brought my hands to my side, making her drop mine, and pushed myself to a sitting position brought her to my side. “Where's your jacket?” I could feel her cold arm against my hot skin and brought my hand around to her other arm.
“In my car, I get really hot when I run so I don't usually need it. I didn't exactly plan on being out so late.”
“Oh.” It was painfully obvious that I was the reason that she was still here and I didn't really know what I thought of that. Jackie was a nice girl when she wasn't spreading rumors about our romance, a romance that was about as real as the Easter Bunny. She had kissed me once in the school parking lot, I didn't kiss her back so it didn't really count as a real kiss, however no matter what I said no one believed me that nothing was going on. I knew it was bad when even Quil and Embry thought I was holding out on them and keeping it a secret from them. Truth be told there was nothing to tell, other than today the only times I saw Jackie was at school and these days the pack pretty much stayed to ourselves.
I heard Jackie take a deep sigh and felt her body relax so that her head rested on my chest. “You're really hot Jake.”
I couldn't help but chuckle. “Thanks.”
She lifted her head and smacked me in the chest with her hand. “Not like that, you dork. Well maybe that is true too.” She ducked her head embarrassed. “But that wasn't what I meant.”
“Sure, sure. It's no big deal.”
“Why are you so hot? You're not sick are you?” She asked as she reached her hand out to probably touch my forehead.
I leaned out of the way. “No I'm not sick. The heat is just genetic, just part of who I am.”
“Your dad's not this hot.”
“Glad you think so.”
She just rolled her eyes. “Ha, ha. Okay, I admit I walked right into that one.”
“The heat skipped his generation, and my mom's family had this issue as well.” We were both silent for a moment, and I hoped that explanation was good enough. “And speaking of my dad, I need to be heading home.”
We each got up and brushed the sand from our legs and back side. “Do you need me to walk with you to your car?” La Push was a pretty safe area, but I thought it would be rude to just leave her there.
“Sure, thanks.” She said with a smile.
Her car wasn't far and we walked in silence. I watched as she unlocked her door and I waved 'goodbye' as she climbed in.
What an unexpected evening this has turned out to be. When I got home I helped dad get to bed, neither of us speaking and I crawled into bed shortly after. The note was still on the living room floor exactly where it had landed and stayed there for two days, neither of us wanted to touch it. However the longer it stayed there the bigger it seemed to grow, soon it would fill up the whole living room.
Finally as I was eating breakfast before school, dad wheeled himself in to watch some TV as he straddled his chair over the note he had had enough. “Jacob pick up that note or I will. And if it is still there I'm reading it this time.”
I glared at him as I finished my last bite of cereal and placed the bowl in the sink. I went to the bathroom, brushed my teeth, and then gathered my books placing them in my backpack for school. As I walked back in, I planned to simply walk right out the door until I saw my dad with the note open on his lap. “What the crap Dad?”
“Hey, I warned you fair and square. If you didn't want to know what she had to say, that is your problem, but I sure as hell did.”
“I can't believe you.” I walked over and yanked it from his lap and shoved it in my backpack and walked out the door making sure that it slammed loudly behind me. I knew he hated it when I slammed the door and I could hear him grumbling inside.
He totally deserved it noisy old man. I never dreamed he was serious with his threat, but I knew I should have. He never has handled secrets very well. I approached Quil and Embry who were both waiting for me at Embry's house, I hoped that they would be able to see my irritation and just let it go, but I guess nothing was going my way today.
“Hey Jake!” Embry called.
“Hey.” I answered sourly.
“Dude Jacob, what crawled inside your pants and died?” Quil snickered.
“Ohhhh.” They both said together.
“Are you still ignoring her calls?” Quil asked.
“What did she do this time?” Embry asked.
“She sent a freaking note from her dad, to mine, to me!”
Quil clutched his stomach and started laughing so hard he almost tripped. “Man, that is awesome.” Quil stammered once he could breathe again.
“You are seriously messed up.” I said shaking my head.
“So what did the note say?” Embry asked.
“You'll have to ask my dad, he's the one who read it.” This time is was Embry's turn to almost fall over laughing.
“Why haven't you read it?” Quil asked.
“If I wanted to know what she had to say I would answer the damn phone, not pretend I was in 2nd grade.” I gave a frustrated sigh.
These guys knew my frustration with Bella more than anyone. Despite my best intention I couldn't help but have her on my mind each and every time we patrolled and they probably wanted me to move on. Or at least settle things so that I could pretend to move on, having Bella tangling in the air wasn't good on anyone. However, I couldn't think of anything that she could possibly have to say to me.
We made it to class and as I pulled out my stuff from my backpack I saw the crumbled note buried deep inside, calling to me, begging to be heard. I know I was being stubborn and stupid, but I couldn't handle feeling the hope that she still cared about me or the pain of knowing it was really over. Finally by 3rd period I had had enough and I couldn't take it any longer, so when I pulled out my books and notepad I reluctantly pulled out Bella's note. I smoothed out the ruffled edges.
Please, Jacob talk to me! There has got to be something that I can do. I'm sorry, I know that it hurts you that I am friends with the Cullens, but they are part of my life too. You are my very best friend and I know that we can make this work. I miss you and I need to figure out a way to be your friend as well, if you would only just talk to me, please Jake, please.
After reading the note, I knew I should respond. There is just something so personal about hand written words that is so much harder to ignore. Maybe it was because it was such a physical reminder, as soon as the phone stops ringing than your window of conversation is over, but with a note that window never closes. I flipped to the next page of my notebook and started to write.
What were you thinking! I do not want to talk to you.
No that wasn't really what I wanted to say and I ripped the page from my notebook and it made a loud tearing sound and everyone stared at me, including my teacher who stopped and looked confused.
“I'm sorry. I won't do that again.” I stammered.
I don't know why you're making Charlie carry notes to Billy like we're in second grade – if I wanted to talk to you I would answer the . . . Well that wasn't really what I wanted to say either, but instead of ripping the page out, I just crossed it out, and tried again.
You made the choice here, okay? You can't have it both ways when . . . It is not like she could have us both she needed to understand that.
What part of 'mortal enemies' is too complicated for you to . . . I had been writing so hard that I broke the tip of my pen and ink leaked over the page.
Look, I know I'm being a jerk, but there's just no way around . . . Dammit it was no longer just the tip that broke as the pen shattered between my fingers. I grumbled to myself as I reached inside my backpack for another pen, making sure that I didn't hold it quite so tightly.
We can't be friends when you're spending all your time with a bunch of . . . Oops should probably stop there, she hates when I use the terms 'bloodsuckers' or 'leeches' to describe her 'friends'.
It just makes it worse when I think about you too much, so don't write anymore . . . Nothing I could think of was coming out the way I wanted it to.
Yeah, I miss you, too. A lot. Doesn't change anything. Sorry.
Angrily I put a dark black line through every word I had written, I was afraid that my arm would start shaking and give away the pain and anger that I felt. I got to the last line and I just couldn't mark it out, the truth of the words sprung from the page. So I simply added my name to the bottom and folded it. I was about to put both notes back in my backpack when the bell rang and Quil leaped from his desk grabbed Bella's note and sprinted out the door.
Quil was going to be one dead dog by the time I got to him as I sprung from my desk to follow him down the hall.
“Oh come on Jake, you know we all were going to know what it says anyways.” Embry tried to reason with. “This will just save you from having to think of it later.”
“That is so not the point Em.”
Embry and I caught up with Quil in the cafeteria with a huge tray of food looking completely innocent, like there was no reason for me to punch him in the nose. He was very wise to remain in a public place otherwise I certainly would have. The rest of the day was uneventful, Quil grew a conscious (black and blue in color) and gave me the note back before walking to my house.
We had an afternoon snack, that would probably be two full meals for a normal person, and then hung out in the garage. I was still in a pretty sour mood, but thankfully they chose to ignore me and just let me sulk. The best of friends knew when to push you on an issue and when to let it go, and these guys were the best.
At dinner Dad apologized for invading my privacy with the note and I easily accepted, but I could still feel the tension between us. Bella had become a thick cloud hanging over both our heads and I knew it would burst at any moment, I just wasn't sure what the damage would be once it started. As I got Dad ready for bed I placed my note back to Bella on his dresser.
“This is my response to Bella, you can read it if you want to, I don't care. I won't reply to another one so if another comes, read it, burn it, whatever, but don't give it to me. I'm done.”
I saw the sadness mixed with understanding in his eyes as I walked out the door. I just wish that my heart would be as “done” as my brain was. I hated the powerful affect that she still had over me, but I was going to simply take one day at a time and keep putting one foot in front of the other. I would make my dad proud and continue to serve the pack to the best of my ability.
- For starters there will not be near as many 'facts' for Eclipse because truthfully there aren't as many. SM has never written a summary for Eclipse, so this will be largely my interpretation. However I really liked having a place to explain where I got my ideas, and I do feel that my interpretation is surrounded by facts.
- The last comment that SM made in her summary of NM was that Jacob left to inform his brothers so that they could prepare for war with the Cullens.
- Jacob's concern about Alice seeing them make decisions, at this point they do not know that she cannot see the wolves. Jacob learns that later in Eclipse.
- Jackie's character is completely fictional. I really like the idea of Jacob having someone to talk to who doesn't know anything and can't be inside his head, so she will pop up from time to time. If Jacob has enough self control to be friends with Bella than he also has enough self control to be friends with someone who is not in the pack.
- Jacob's sense of humor with Jackie is based on BD, if Jacob was still able to be funny while Bella was dying (blond jokes with Rosalie, some banter with Leah) than I think he would have been able to be funny here as well.
- Also my chapter titles may not be the same as Eclipse titles, unless I feel that it lines up well for that particular chapter.
Thanks, I'm glad that you loved Quil's singing. I almost took it out because I thought it was too cheesy, and not really a teenage boy thing to do, but I decided that Quil could get away with it. And it talks of girls and dogs biting, you can't get more perfect than that, lol.
Speaking of songs, did you listen to the song for these chapters?
I hadn't really thought about that. The Cullens would not have known who was who, without Edward being there. So they would know that there are 7 wolves, but they wouldn't know who they were. So I still do not think the Cullens would have known about Seth or Leah.
Does that make sense?
I have no idea why it changes colors. I can delete that section and copy and paste it again and it will still be black instead of white like everything else. I have no explanation.
I'm glad that you liked the fight. It is real interesting on that scene, I just typed out what I thought happened based on my memory of the story and my memory from the movie. Then afterwards I looked up the description of Edward and Jacob and filled in the details that I needed to change to make it more accurate. It worked very well and I really didn't have to change very much from what I wrote. The hardest part was to describe the fight between Paul and Emmett, because I do agree with you I think Paul is a biased source and so is Emmett. So that is why I created the ravine I figured it would be a natural division of the territories and I assumed the bottom of the ravine, was "no mans" land or neutral territory.
I do love Quil, and I needed something to make that chapter not so depressing. I knew Jacob's head would not be a pleasant place to be when he thought that Bella was being changed, and used that as a distraction. I hope it worked.
Thanks for your encouragement, I really appreciate it.
Chapter 3 - VISITING part 1
Here is the song for this chapter. It is still in Jake's pov, even though it is female singer.
I got up the next morning with a title wave of emotions. Yesterday with the pack it was such a mess, and I was so exhausted that I hadn't really had a chance to let my mind adjust to the news that Bella was indeed home safe and sound. Well maybe not safe or sound, but she was certainly home and very much human. I can't even start to express what my heart has gone through with the fear that she had been changed and the relief knowing that it hadn't happened. I wish that there was something more I could do to stop it, but if I couldn't compete against the memory of Edward Cullen, I do not see how I could compete with him breathing down her neck all the time.
The thought made me shudder, which Dad noticed setting across the table from me. “Are you okay, Jake?”
“Yeah, just thinking.” I continued to shovel the cereal into my mouth, sometimes I wasn't even sure if I completely chewed my food anymore.
“You seeing Bella today?”
“I'm going to the school, she said she would be there, so I assume I will see her.”
“You don't seem very excited about it.”
“I'm not. The last experience I had talking to the two of them didn't exactly go so well.” I grumbled.
“How did you expect it to go, ratting her out to Charlie like that? By the way, you totally should have given me a heads up, Bella wasn't the only one Charlie was furious with.” He rolled over to the sink and washed and dried his bowl and spoon.
“Yeah, I know that was really stupid on my part. Thinking about it now it was about the dumbest thing I have ever done.”
“You know she has already forgiven you. If you would just give her the chance to prove it to you.”
“We've already talked about this, there is no point.”
“I think you are wrong, Jake.” He said shaking his head. “However, you are right we have already talked about it, just think about it today when you see her. You'll never forgive yourself if you learn after the fact that you could have done more.”
Like I really needed anything else to think about as I pulled my bike out of the garage and headed towards Forks. I arrived in the parking lot and popped the motorcycle on to the sidewalk. I'm sure I didn't need to be quite so obvious about being there, I stuck out like a sore thumb surrounded by all these tiny pale faces. It was almost funny to watch everyone stare at me and give a wide berth to me as they walked around to get inside the school.
It didn't take long before I heard his car pull into the parking lot and saw Bella sitting in the passenger seat. I could hear him speaking to her in the car trying to get her to stay inside, what a loser. The moment that Bella lifted her eyes she looked right at me and I saw her get out of the car. No one could tell Bella what to do.
Standing in a parking lot full of people I knew that I was going to have to be extremely careful, so I took a deep breath and focused on the task before me. Let's get this conversation with Edward over with, a simple warning to stay off our land. They walked towards me hand in hand, Edward stopped several yards away and pulled Bella behind his body, it was another reminder of how this was not going to be easy.
“You could have called us,” Edward said in a steel-hard voice.
“Sorry.” I sneered. “I don't have any leeches on my speed dial.”
“You could have reached me at Bella's house, of course.” My teeth clinched together, I didn't really like the mental picture of how much time Edward spent at Bella's house.
“This is hardly the place, Jacob. Could we discuss this later?”
“Sure, sure. I'll stop by your crypt after school.” I snorted. “What's wrong with now?” I saw his eye look around indicating the audience that we had around us.
“I already know what you came to say. Message delivered. Consider us warned.”
“Warned?” Bella asked. “What are you talking about?”
“You didn't tell her?” I asked shocked, I couldn't believe it. “What, were you afraid she'd take our side?”
“Please drop it, Jacob.” Edward said evenly.
“Why?” I challenged. What is he hiding from her? I saw the confusion on her face it was clear she did not have any idea what we were talking about.
“What don't I know? Edward?” I waited a moment to give him a chance to answer her, but he just continued to glare at me, like I was the one who messed up here. What was that about?
“Jake?” She asked.
“He didn't tell you that his . . . brother crossed the line Saturday night?” I said sarcastically. Then I turned my gaze to Edward, “Paul was totally justified in – ”
“It was no-man's land!” Edward hissed.
“Was not!” I was really starting to get upset and needed to remember to control myself. My hands started to tremble and I took several deep breaths to gain control.
“Emmett and Paul?” Bella whispered. “What happened? Were they fighting?” I could hear the panic in her voice, not sure if that was for Paul or Emmett. “Why? Did Paul get hurt?” Not sure if I was flattered that she cared for Paul, or insulted that she naturally assumed that he would be the one injured.
“No one fought,” Edward said quietly. “No one got hurt. Don't be anxious.”
It was in that moment that I realized how completely in dark Bella was. “You didn't tell her anything at all, did you? Is that why you took her away? So she wouldn't know that – ”
“Leave now.” Edward cut me off way too fast, I knew that I was exactly right. He glared at me revealing the monster that he truly is.
“Why haven't you told her?” You know she is going to be pissed off when she learns you kept this from her. I let the silence remain and watched Bella's face as she processed the new information that she has received. I saw her start to tremble and it hurt to see her so fearful, but I knew that there was one vampire that made her feel that way, therefore it was clear she understood the situation.
“She came back for me,” she choked out.
Edward touched her face giving her the comfort that I so wanted to. “It's fine,” he whispered. “It's fine. I'll never let her get close to you, it's fine.” Then he turned his head towards me glaring. “Does that answer your question, mongrel?”
“You don't think Bella has a right to know?” I challenged. “It's her life.”
“Why should she be frightened when she was never in danger?”
“Better frightened than lied to.”
Edward continued to comfort her and wipe her tears away. “Do you really think hurting her is better than protecting her?” he murmured.
“She's tougher than you think,” I said. “And she's been through worse.”
Immediately I brought up one of the most painful memories that I had, strangely it isn't even one of my own, but rather the night that Sam found her in the woods. When Sam found her he thought she was dead, it was only her soft heart beating that proved otherwise. I let the memory continue as Sam picked her up. She laid limply in his arm only her murmurs, “He's gone. He's gone,” gave any indication that she was living. I knew that it had hurt me when I saw that moment, and I could only imagine what it would be like for Edward to see the damage that he had done.
“That's funny,” I laughed as I watched his face squirm.
“What are you doing to him?” Bella demanded.
“It's nothing, Bella,” Edward quietly answered. “Jacob just has a good memory, that's all.”
I couldn't help but grin as my memories shifted into the first day that Bella brought the bikes over to me, she was deathly skinny with dark circles under her eyes, her hair was limp and messy. I showed how she would wrap her arms around her torso trying to hold herself together.
“Stop it! Whatever you're doing.”
“Sure, if you want.” I shrugged. “It's his own fault if he doesn't like the things I remember, though.” She glared at me and I smiled back thinking maybe I had taken it a little too far, but there wasn't anything she could to to punish me more than by staying with him.
“The principal's on his way to discourage loitering on school property,” Edward murmured. “Let's get to English, Bella, so you're not involved.”
“Overprotective, isn't he?” I turned giving Bella my full attention anything that I needed to say to Edward had already been said, so I was going to just pretend he wasn't there. “A little trouble makes life fun. Let me guess, you're not allowed to have fun, are you?” I saw Edward glower at me as his lips moved back exposing his razor sharp teeth.
“Shut up, Jake,” Bella said.
I laughed. “That sounds like a no. Hey, if you ever feel like having a life again, you could come see me. I've still got your motorcycle in my garage.”
“You were supposed to sell that. You promised Charlie you would.”
“Yeah, right. Like I would do that. It belongs to you, not me. Anyway, I'll hold on to it until you want it back.” The thought of Bella and I racing our bikes throughout La Push pressed itself into my brain and I couldn't help the small smile appear.
“Jake . . .”
I leaned forward, without really meaning to, it just came naturally with being around Bella. “I think I might have been wrong before, you know, about not being able to be friends. Maybe we could manage it, on my side of the line. Come see me.”
“I, er, don't know about that, Jake.”
Edward's arms around her were like bars of steal, she was a wounded animal trapped inside them. “I miss you every day, Bella. It's not the same without you.”
“I know and I'm sorry, Jake, I just . . .”
Her rejection hurt far more than I wanted to admit. I sighed, “I know. Doesn't matter, right? I guess I'll survive or something. Who needs friends?” I grimaced, wishing that I hadn't been quite so honest.
A man, that I assumed to be the principal, made his entrance breaking up the audience that remained in the parking lot. He asked if I were a student and after confirming that I was not, he threatened to call the police if I didn't leave. I'm sorry but the thought of Charlie coming to arrest me was too funny and I sarcastically jumped on my bike and road away.
Leaving Bella's school my mind was a mess. I had officially extended the olive branch of friendship, and I could see that she wanted to come to me, but once again Edward was holding her back. It made me much more angry than I would have thought to see her in his arms. Sam wanted me to check with him first thing, so I probably wasn't going to school today. That was fine, it was my turn to patrol so I would do that after meeting with Sam.
Meeting with Sam was uneventful and he agreed for me to patrol so for the next several hours it was just him and I running through the trees. We didn't really talk and both just let our minds wonder, we both knew that patrolling our small area didn't take long and we could probably stop, especially during the day time.
So when we took a break for lunch I went home to spend some time with my dad and do somethings around the house. I know that my dad has really felt neglected lately and my strained friendship (if that was what it was) with Bella was having an affect on him and Charlie as well. I heard them on the phone several times, and it seemed that Charlie was doing everything he could on his end to make it possible for Bella and I to spend time together.
Now that I have done my part and opened that door back up, maybe we can actually go some place with it. It was a great afternoon with dad, he was pleased about the conversation I had with Bella this morning and for the first time in a long time I felt some hope. After several loads of laundry and general cleaning I decided to head out to the beach.
The clouds were starting to gather and I was sure that a storm was coming our way. It didn't really matter to me, I could care less about getting wet. I have really started to enjoy coming to the beach and sort of found a new spot where I could sit down in the pebbly sand and just listen to the sound of the waves coming and going.
It took several days for the realization to sink in that Bella still hadn't called or come by, and maybe she never would.
“Come on Jacob, snap out of it.” Embry encouraged after school.
“I'm sorry guys, I know I have not been any fun lately.”
“Jake, we get it.” Quil sighed. “But we haven't had any real fun together.
“Hey guys lets go to Quil's house.” Embry suggested
“We can get out the PS2.” Quil replied getting really excited.
“Sounds great, lets go.” I really wasn't that particular, but I knew that they were really suggesting this for me and wanted to be a good sport.
We walked over to Quil's and it was nice to hear their playful chatter, it just seemed to remind me of when things were so much simpler. None of us were wolves, and we could just hang out for hours. We would talk about everything, but most of the time it was girls. It was way too early for Quil to try and start dating again, even though he transitioned into the wolf life easily it still takes adjusting. However, Embry was really wanting to.
“I can't believe you were able to get a girlfriend in the few weeks that we left you.” Embry's comment bringing me back from my thoughts.
“Yeah, it was awesome. I always knew it was you two losers holding me back.”
“Whatever man.” I added as I punched him in the arm playfully.
We walked inside the house and grabbed some snacks from the pantry as we headed to Quil's room. In his room there was a small TV and he had Metal Gear Solid so we played that for a while. We would just pass the controller around every so often. Embry was really good at it, I did the best I could to not get us killed, and Quil loved to annoy the guards and then quickly turn into a box so they couldn't find him. He would then hop around as a box until the guard noticed him and was quickly killed.
It was really great to just laugh with my friends. The three of us spent most of our time together either at school, patrolling, or just hanging out. They were a great distraction, but nothing could completely take my mind off Bella. As I would go to sleep each night, my mind would wander. Sometimes it was filled with fantasy of Bella and I being together, it varied between just being friends again and being more than friends. However most of the time my thoughts were filled with the pain of reality.
(Please read part 1 before part 2)
Chapter 3 - VISITING part 2
I had just had a huge breakfast and a fantastic night sleep, so I should have felt great. However it has been almost a week since I opened that door back up to Bella and there has been nothing. I don't know what I was expecting, but I quickly learned that something was better than nothing. I flipped on the TV to see if there was anything interesting, of course there wasn't so I switched it over to sports for Dad. Suddenly, I heard Bella's truck wheezing towards my house. I couldn't believe it, she actually came.
I jumped up and made it outside before she even killed the engine. “Bella?”
“Bella!” I yelled back, and her smile stretched across my face. It has been so long since I smiled like that and it felt great. “I can't believe it!”
I ran to her truck and yanked her from it as we both started jumping up and down like kids. It was great that she seemed to be as excited to see me as I was to see her. “How did you get here?”
“I snuck out!”
“Hey, Bella!” Dad rolled himself to the door way to see how things were going, there is no way he didn't know it was Bella who pulled up.
“Hey, Bill –” Bella tried to say, but I pulled her into a crushing hug and swung her legs around in a circle. I was so glad to have her back.
“Wow, it's good to see you here!”
“Can't . . . breathe,” she gasped.
I laughed as I put her back down, I was going to have to be a little more careful with her, it wouldn't be much fun if she passed out. “Welcome back, Bella,” I said grinning.
We were both pretty hyper so we decided to take a walk on the beach. I was really excited and she kept having to remind me to slow down. The first few topics were easy to get through and I about died from laughing when she told me about the wolf flyer. It felt so good to really laugh. I knew that we were going to have to talk about why we haven't seen each other in so long. Part of me wanted to avoid it, but that wasn't who I was, I liked to deal with things straight on.
“So what's the story, anyways?” I asked as I kicked a piece of drift wood to relieve some of my frustration. “I mean, since the last time we . . . well, before, you know . . .” Wow, I'm really doing a great job with words, I took a deep breath to clear my head. “What I'm asking is . . . everything is just back to the way it was before he left? You forgave him for all of that?”
I watched her take a deep breath, “There was nothing to forgive.”
You have got to be kidding me! I sucked my lips in biting my tongue to keep from saying what I really wanted to say. “I wish Sam had taken a picture when he found you that night last September. It would be exhibit A.”
“Nobody's on trial.”
“Maybe somebody should be.”
“Not even you would blame him for leaving me, if you knew the reason why.”
Oh, this I have got to hear, there is no way. “Okay,” I challenged. “Amaze me.”
She paused for just a moment before she began. “Edward left me last fall because he didn't think I should be hanging out with vampires. He thought it would be healthier for me if he left.”
Well I admit that was different than what I was expecting, I always thought of them as so selfish never taking into consideration other people. It made me wonder how much of it was actually true. If that were the case than he should have stayed away. “He came back, though, didn't he?” I muttered. “Too bad he can't stick to a decision.”
“If you remember, I went and got him.”
Wow, thanks for the reminder there Bella. How could I possibly have forgotten that?
“That's true. So I never did get the story. What happened?” She paused and I saw her biting her lip. “Is it a secret?” I taunted. “Are you not allowed to tell me?” I turned and started walking along the beach knowing that she would follow behind, we were not far from our driftwood tree and it would be great to actually be able to sit on it once again. I sat down and it felt great and patted the space next to me for her to join. “I don't mind long stories. Is there any action?”
I locked my lips and tried to be quiet as much as I could. I was glad that she started back at the time that I was with her because I really didn't understand what was going on around me. I hated the idea that Alice could see the things that we planned before they would happen, and was extremely relieved to learn that she couldn't see us. That news was fantastic! It was not easy learning about the Volturi, they seemed truly evil and I got chills thinking about Bella being surrounded by them. It was really strange, I didn't actually feel cold but my body reacted the same as goosebumps rose over my arms. I also didn't like the idea that I owed Bella's life once again to Edward, if he would just quit putting her in life threatening situations than he wouldn't have to keep saving her.
After she finished telling me about her time away she wanted to know more about what happened the other night with the red head. It was really exciting and I loved being able to share my pack life with her. I told her every detail of the chase with the red head and the burly Cullen. She listened, and added a few details such as the Cullen's names, like I cared what their names were.
“So did your vampire tell you we attacked for no reason and his totally innocent coven –”
“No,” she interrupted. “Edward told me the same story, just without quite as many details.”
“Huh,” I mumbled as I reached down and picked up a pebble and flung it into the ocean. “Well, she'll be back, I guess. We'll get another shot at her.”
I looked out over the water and saw the cliff that Bella had flung herself off of, it had always represented such a terrible day in my life. Now with the new information that Bella had given me, I saw how things could have been so different.
“What are you thinking about?” Bella asked.
“I'm thinking about what you told me. About when the fortune-teller saw you cliff jumping and thought you'd committed suicide, and how it all got out of control . . . Do you realize that if you had just waited for me like you were supposed to, then the bl – Alice wouldn't have been able to see you jump? Nothing would have changed. We'd probably be in my garage right now, like any other Saturday. There wouldn't be any vampires in Forks, and you and me . . .” I couldn't let myself finish. As the words came pouring out my mouth they just sounded too good to be true. Oh, how I wished that things could be different.
“Edward would have come back anyway.”
“Are you sure about that?” I wasn't so sure.
“Being apart . . . It didn't work out so well for either of us.” I knew how true those words were for Bella, but it doesn't seem like it was all that difficult for him. I almost said so, but I didn't really want to get into a fight the first day we were able to see each other again. Instead I thought it best to change subjects.
“Did you know Sam is mad at you?” He wasn't stupid enough to say anything to me, but regardless I heard his thought. Each time I thought of Bella while patrolling, his own anger slipped through.
“Me?” She answered surprised. “Oh. I see. He thinks they would have stayed away if I wasn't here.”
“No. That's not it.”
“What's his problem then?”
I leaned down and scooped up a rock and rolled it through my fingers, while I looked out at the water, it was never easy talking about Sam's memories of when he found Bella. “When Sam saw . . . how you were in the beginning, when Billy told them how Charlie worried when you didn't get better, and then when you started jumping off cliffs . . .” She frowned at that memory and seemed a little annoyed. Quickly I turned to look her in the eyes, “. . . he thought you were the one person in the world with as much reason to hate the Cullens as he does. Sam feels sort of . . . betrayed that you would just let them back into your life like they never hurt you.” When this explanation turned from being about Sam to being about myself I wasn't sure. It was equally true about Sam, however I knew that everything I said was even more true about myself and I think Bella knew it.
Her face turned bitterly angry and I looked back over the water. “You can tell Sam to go right to –”
“Look at that,” I interrupted a little surprised at how angry she got and by the language she was about to use. I thought it best to change subjects. There was a large and powerful eagle that flew out over the water, as if to give me a perfect illustration it dipped its claws into the water and pulled out a fish. “You see it everywhere. Nature taking its course – hunter and prey, the endless cycle of life and death.”
I looked over at her and saw her confusion. “And yet, you don't see the fish trying to plant a kiss on the eagle. You never see that.” I couldn't help grinning at the thought of something so ridiculous.
Bella grinned back, but it was full of acid. “Maybe the fish was trying,” she suggested. “It is hard to tell what a fish is thinking. Eagles are good-looking birds, you know.”
Finally at least something I could relate to, everyone knew that the Cullen family were all extremely good-looking. “Is that what it comes down to?” I couldn't help but be insulted that she didn't see me as attractive as Edward. “Good looks?”
“Don't be stupid, Jacob.”
“Is it the money, then?” I persisted, knowing it was another area that I never could compete with.
“That's nice,” she muttered, standing up from the tree. “I'm flattered that you think so much of me.” She turned and started walking away.
“Aw, don't get mad.” Okay I can see how that was a little insulting. I stood following right behind her; I caught her wrist and spun her back around. “I'm serious! I'm trying to understand here, and I'm coming up blank.” How on earth could she want to be with a reeking vampire? It is not like she doesn't have another option standing right in front of her.
“I love him. Not because he's beautiful or because he's rich!” She spat the words at me. “I'd much rather he weren't either one. It would even out the gap between us just a little bit – because he'd still be the most loving and unselfish and brilliant and decent person I've ever met. Of course I love him. How hard is that to understand?”
Now that was all kinds of insults right there, I didn't even know where to begin. “It's impossible to understand.”
“Please enlighten me, then, Jacob,” she said sarcastically. “What is a valid reason for someone to love someone else? Since apparently I'm doing it wrong.”
This was getting frustrating, it wasn't that she loved someone else, which sucked, but more what she loved, which sucked even more.
“I think the best place to start would be to look within your own species. That usually works.”
“Well, that just sucks!” She snapped, “I guess I'm stuck with Mike Newton after all.”
I flinched, this was by far the most insulting she has said yet. I wasn't sure if I wanted to scream or cry, so I just bite my lip to keep from saying something I would regret. I dropped her hand and turned away letting the waves receive my wrath. “I'm human.” I muttered softly.
“You're not as human as Mike,” she continued ruthlessly. “Do you still think that's the most important consideration?”
“It's not the same thing.” I kept my gaze out towards the water. “I didn't choose this.”
She laughed for a second and I didn't know why, there was nothing remotely funny about this. “Do you think Edward did? He didn't know what was happening to him any more than you did. He didn't exactly sign up for this.” I shook my head in disbelief, that is so totally not the same thing. “You know, Jacob, you're awfully self-righteous – considering that you're a werewolf and all.”
“It's not the same.” I couldn't believe that she thought of me being a werewolf as the same as him being a vampire.
“I don't see why not. You could be a bit more understanding about the Cullens. You have no idea how truly good they are – to the core, Jacob.”
I frowned deeply. “They shouldn't exist. Their existence goes against nature.” There was a long pause before I looked back at her face. “What?”
“Speaking of unnatural . . . ,” she hinted.
“Bella,” I needed her to understand. “What I am was born in me. It's a part of who I am, who my family is, who we all are as a tribe – it's the reason why we're still here.” I paused for a moment to think. “Besides that,” - I looked down at her - “Iam still human.”
Maybe there was something more I could do, there was one clear difference that she could not deny. I picked up her hand, it was so cold and perfect, and pressed it over my heart. I loved feeling her pressed to my chest and I knew that she would be able to feel the beats of my heart.
“Normal humans can't throw motorcycles around the way you can.”
I smiled. “Normal humans run away from monsters, Bella. And I never claimed to be normal. Just human.”
I saw any anger that she had dissolve and a smile spread across her face as she calmly pulled her hand from my chest. “You look plenty human to me. At the moment.”
“I feel human.” I just wished that being human were enough. I felt my lip tremble and bit down hard trying to be able to control my emotions.
“Oh, Jake,” she whispered as she placed her hand in mine.
- SM quote: “Jacob couldn't live with himself if he didn't give saving Bella his best effort – he knows it's going to hurt when he loses, but he knows it would hurt worse if he didn't try.”
Acknowlegement to those not familiar with Metal Gear Solid, here is the the box http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d0XZQHY_tvk
Great somg & video!!!And gr8 storyline, too! I'll still think of Jake & Bella snuggling in his bed as I fall asleep. tho!!