Sometimes love just can't be denied - no matter how untimely it hits us. Sparks fly between Edward and Bella the very first time they meet; problem is that Bella is already committed to another. See how the two of them deal with their unspoken attraction and how a tragedy could bring them closer together or push them further apart.
This story is being worked on by both myself and AnahyR whose ideas are the basis for all chapters. We hope you enjoy it and would love to hear your opinions through your comments. AnahyR will also be doing this story in Spanish so for those of you who are Spanish speaking you will also have access to this at some stage. I will put the link here once it is done.
Previous stories of mine you might be interested in:
The Heart is a Bloom: Is fame worth it? A different take on the characters of Twilight and how they met. Edward is a famous musician who has a past demon that is about to catch up with him. Unfortunately it is just as he has met the woman of his dreams.
No Choice: Edward returns to Forks to fight for a hurt and angry Bella. Not such an easy thing to do in this story. This is set after the Cullens have been away for quite a few months but before Bella makes the decision to cliff dive.
Thanks to Sasha for this gorgeous banner - We can't thank you enough.
And thanks to Manda for this one too!! Love it.
“The church is beautiful,” Ana exclaimed as she helped me out of the cab and Nessie paid for our journey. “Is this where you got married?”
“Aha.” I squinted against the sun to look at the old church that Edward had convinced me to be married in. He had wanted to do it before the eyes of god and I had readily accepted even though I would have been happy to have been married in a registry office if it meant we could be together forever. “It really was a beautiful ceremony.”
“I remember Aunt Alice telling me, when I was still a child, about the vows you and dad exchanged. She said they were so beautiful and heartfelt that nearly everyone there was crying.” Ness smiled at the memory of her excitable aunt.
We quietly made our way into the silence of the church and sat in one of the pews near the middle. An instant feeling of calm came over me. This was what I had been searching for; the knowledge that I could be close to God and therefore my husband. In this place it became clear to me that it would not be long now; that soon I would have my heart’s desire.
Ness and Ana could sense that I was having a moment and they quietly got up from their seats and began to look at the formation of the church and the signs of religion and worship scattered around the interior of this special place. My thoughts were far away when I sensed that I was no longer alone and I looked up into the kind and serene eyes of the priest.
“Bienvenue a notre eglise” He spoke in a voice that told me he was a caring man.
Welcome to our church.
“Merci père” I answered with respect and he sat beside me with a thoughtful posture.
“Vous semblez madame réfléchie. Qu'est-ce qui vous amène ici”
I struggled to interpret his words but understood that he wondered at my thoughtfulness and what had brought me here.
“I am sorry father. My French is somewhat lacking these days. It has been a long time I am afraid.”
He smiled at me and his eyes lit up. “You seem to have done quite well but I too speak English. I am wondering if all is well with you?”
I explained that I was visiting from the United States with my daughter and my grand daughter and that we had come to see the church as I had been married here. We spoke in hushed voices and when he asked me about my memories of his church, he listened silently and appreciated my observations of how the area and the church itself had changed over the years. He asked after my husband and with sorrow I had to reveal that he was no longer with us. His placed his hand gently over my clenched hands in unspoken sympathy and I felt the tears threaten as I thought of how much I wished my words were not true.
“He passed three weeks ago,” I explained. “It was quick; he had a heart attack and although his absence hurts me I know that the length of life we were both given was a blessing and that I should be happy that he has moved on after such a long and fulfilling life. God granting us sixty long years together seems like a wonderful reward but I just can’t fathom not seeing him anymore. My life is full with my children and my grandchildren and even two great grandchildren but without him I feel……..empty.”
“That is understandable. It seems that the love between you was something special and that is hard to let go of. But rest assured that God’s will always has a purpose and no doubt you will see what that is in time. When the time comes you shall be together and eternity will be reachable for you.”
“That is what I crave,” I admitted in a low voice and he nodded at me with his wise eyes and comforting smile.
“And when god is ready, that will be what you will receive. Be strong Isabella. God is looking over you and knows your deepest needs and wants.” With those words he gave me his goodbye and continued down the aisle until he disappeared behind a door that led further into the bowels of the church.
I watched him and thought over his words of wisdom. I had not lied when I told the priest that our lives together had been fulfilling and rewarding but there had been moments of absolute despair and if it hadn’t been for my strong love for Edward and then my children and family I probably would not have got through them. Life is such a precious gift but there is not a single soul in the world who could honestly say that it was not without its troubles along the way.
“She can not last much longer Bella. We need to say our goodbyes.” Edward was holding onto my sobbing body and attempting to give me his strength to get through this. His shirt was wet with my tears and snot that I could not keep from seeping from my eyes and nose. It was too soon for this to be happening. She did not deserve to go in such a way.
“I….I…c…c…can’t. This was not the way…….the way it was…….was…..meant to go. P..P…l…..ea….s.e don’t make me do it Edward. She can’t………she just can’t….leave me…….leave any of……us.”
Edward’s gentle hands framed my bloated face and he looked at me with sorrow but conviction in his own face. We had all lived through the past few traumatic months and all of us had been damaged in some way from it. He was hurting as much as I was but he was holding it in to be there for me; he was always there for me.
“Sweetheart. You have to pull yourself together. None of us want to accept this but we have to…….Rose needs us to…….Emmett needs us to and those four kids need us to. Rosalie deserves us to be strong for her because she has been strong for us all of this time. She needs to know that we will be there for Emmett and her kids after she is gone. Bella, I know it is hard but your sister needs you right now and she wants a proper farewell. Babe, we can do this for her; all of us can do this for her.”
With a whole lot of ill feeling I straightened my back and forced myself to wipe the tears from my face. Edward was right and as much as it pained me to say goodbye to my sister, it was something I could not avoid. Cancer had reared its ugly head and had condemned Rosalie to a much shorter life than she deserved. She was a thirty nine year old mother with four beautiful children and she was lying calmly in her bed waiting for the inevitable to occur. The best any of us could do for her now was make her see that we would all be there for one another; that we would take care of her husband and that her children would always remember what a wonderful and loving mother they had.
Edward and I walked back into the room to find Emmett holding Rosalie in the circle of his arms and her weak body leaning back against him. She was struggling to speak but Emmett’s large hands gently stroking her hair and whispering words of endearment in her ear seemed to be having a soothing effect on her. With our arrival her eyes lit up slightly and she motioned for us to come closer. I gripped Edward’s hand as hard as possible but he didn’t even flinch to show it must have hurt. Alice came in after us with Jasper by her side and as soon as were all by her bed Rosalie grabbed Alice and my hands feebly and tried to smile. Within minutes Jacob was also standing with us and Rosalie spoke sporadically so that we had to really concentrate to understand her words.
“You’ve been…………the best………the best fam……ily…….a person ……could want. Make…….sure…..my……kids know….. what …….it is…..to be a close………family. Teach….them what……their momma would have………that nothing can………beat loving one another; …….that life ……is a gift not to be…….wasted. I …..l..love every……single one of you.”
Speaking seemed to have taken so much energy out of her and she slumped back against a stoic Emmett who could not hide the panic and fear in his eyes as he watched us agree with her demands. That was not the face he showed her though. When he looked at her all he displayed was his deep seated love for her and a calm exterior so that she would not be worried for him. After a few minutes we started to leave the room so that my parents could have a moment with their first born daughter but as I rose to leave Rosalie pulled Alice and I closer so that she could whisper almost inaudibly to us.
“Help Emmett………don’t let him…….forget that he is my babies’ father first………and a grieving husband second………please help him.”
An hour later my beautiful, strong willed sister was gone, having spent her last moments with the love of her life and ensuring the welfare of her four children, Dale, Lillian, Joseph and Katie. We grieved, we wept, we swore at fate but ultimately we came together to make sure all of Rosalie’s wishes were met. Emmett was an amazing father who was both father and mother to those children and they were spoilt rotten by their aunts, uncles and grandparents who made sure Rosalie’s memory would always live on in their hearts. Not a day went by without Rosalie coming up in some way during our actions or conversations. She was sorely missed and very much loved.
My emotions had got the better of me as I thought of Rosalie’s departure from this world and tears were trickling down my cheeks yet again. As an eighty five year old woman death was no longer a stranger to me but it was still hard to take in the pain and grief that losing a loved one brought about. I had had to endure the death of my parents, the passing of Esme and Carlisle and regretfully the untimely accident that took away Alice and Jasper when they were flying home and a terrorist attack had brought down their plane. Alice and Jasper had lived until their late sixties but it was still too soon for their vibrancy to be quashed and for their two children to have to endure being parentless in one cruel stroke of luck. Jake had left us as a hero when a few years ago he had attempted to save a child from drowning but had not been able to save himself when the waves had battered his aging body. Thankfully the child had survived and his selflessness had not been in complete vain. Each and every loss was like a blade piercing my heart but nothing compared to the loss of my Edward; my soul mate and the one person I believed I could not take as being apart from me.
“Bella. I want to go back to Paris.” Edward suddenly said as he looked up from the electronic newspaper he was holding in his hand. My face must have reflected my shock because he let out a low chuckle and smiled cheekily at me. “What? Are we too old to be traipsing across the ocean for one last fling. Think of it as our second honeymoon.”
“Or our tenth. I think we’ve been on so many so called honeymoons that I’ve lost count.”
“And every one of them was perfect love so why not one more?”
“It’s a special place to me Bella and I want to see it one last time before…….well you know. I want to remember where we started properly; I want to see the places where we experienced so many of our firsts.” He wiggled his eyebrows at me and I blushed as I would have as a young foolish girl. He laughed loudly at that “And I love that I still have the capability of bringing the rose to your cheeks my sweet but seriously I think we should book a trip and have some time to ourselves to just walk down memory lane and think about how good our life has been to us.”
It didn’t take much convincing until I agreed with it. Edward and I lived for making each other happy and if this was something he wanted to do then I was all for it. We might have been in our eighties but we had always lived life to the fullest and made sure that we were fit enough to keep up with our children and grandchildren. This trip would be like a walk in the park for us; maybe a slow one but the excitement was already getting to me as we booked our trip and I could not wait to experience Paris once more with Edward by my side.
Unfortunately fate had intervened and Edward was lost to me in a blink of an eye. One moment he was teasing me about my grandmotherly tendencies in spoiling my grandchildren and the next he was clutching at his chest and collapsing on the floor beside me. The pain I could see in his eyes as he looked at me one last time was overshadowed by the understanding that this was it for him and he quietly moaned out his last words of love for me. He died in my arms before the ambulance could make it to our house and with him my whole zest for life disappeared. I was tired. I was lost and I felt that my endurance of all things thrown at me in this life was enough to reward me with some peace.
“It’s hard to make those around you understand that though.” I mumbled into the silence of the church. “All except Emmett of course. He understood more than anyone.”
The funeral had been a special celebration for a man who was loved by many and who would always be remembered by his children, nieces and nephews and grand children. Out of the older generation it was only Emmett and I left and it seemed somewhat fitting that Emmett was there to say goodbye to his very best friend in the world. Our two son, Lucas and Anthony spoke of their love and respect for a father who had shown them what it was to live and to love; the person who showed them how to treat the people closest to them and how to appreciate what we had in this world. It was heartfelt and only fortified the love I had for my children that they could recognize the great work my husband had done in bringing them up as remarkable human beings. Our grandchildren surprised me with a beautiful rendition of Amazing Grace and I couldn’t help but smile at how much Edward would have loved them all coming together to do such a thing for him; music had after all been very important to him throughout his life.
Ness hosted the wake and I was happy to allow her the job of entertaining when I knew it served as a distraction for her in accepting that she had lost the father she idolized. Emmett and I sat companionably as we received the condolences of friends and acquaintances. When people were beginning to leave and my children and grandchildren had ensured there was nothing more they could do for me Emmett turned to me with the air of seriousness that was not usually found on him.
“Paris.” I answered and he nodded as if he already knew that. It seemed natural that I would still carry through on the trip that Edward had told me he wanted us to take.
“And you’re not coming back, are you?” Emmett knew me to well. He understood that my need to be with my husband far outweighed anything right now.
“I don’t think so Em. I’m tired ……..my body aches, my heart aches, my mind wants some peace and I truly believe that everything I can do for my family has been done. They are all happy. They have each other. If I have any kind of choice about it I would prefer to go peacefully in a place that was special to both Edward and I.”
Emmett sighed wistfully. “I wish I’d had that choice too Bella. I miss her so much.” Emmett had never remarried or even really become serious about anyone after Rosalie had passed on. He told me once that noone could compare to her so why would he even try it. He had his kids and they were his world now, until he could be with Rose again. Some people had tried to force the issue with him but I had fully understood. If it had been Edward in Rose’s place all those years ago then I would have done the same thing as Emmett.
“You’ve made her proud Emmett. She wanted you to look after your children and you’ve done an amazing job with that.” We both tipped our heads to listen to the quiet voices of all our children who were currently working together to help Nessie straighten up her house again. We smiled at their closeness and their ability to always be there for one another in times of happiness or sadness. It warmed my heart to know that when it would eventually come time for them to grieve me as well that they would not be alone; they would stay strong for one another and commit another family member to their memories.
“We all did well with our families Bella. How could we not when we each had one another. You know you can leave rest assured that we’ve done everything possible to help our family along their own destinies. They will miss you but they will accept it. Geez Bells; I will miss you to.”
“So you don’t think I’m being selfish? I’m giving up in a way just because I can’t deal with being away from him.”
“Bella. You are eighty five years old; you’ve lived a life based around everyone else’s needs and wants. You’ve been an exceptional mother, grandmother and friend. I think it is time for selfishness to win out for once in your life. It’s not like you could live forever; none of us have that ability. I fully understand your need to just find the peace. I look forward to it myself.” He gave me the biggest hug he could muster and we held each other for quite a while. “Tell my Rosie that it won’t be long before I follow too Bella. Tell her that I can’t wait to hold her again.”
Of course Ness, Anthony and Lucas had not been as understanding as Emmett had when I explained to them my plans. We argued, they accused, they begged and I stood firm but when it came down to it, it was their love for me and their knowledge of how much their father meant to me and how the thought of existing for more long years without him was terrifying that they came to an unlikely acceptance of my choice. It was decided that Ness would come with me and Ana told us that she would also come as a support for her mother at the end of it all. My heart was heavy with what I was asking my children to endure so soon after the loss of their father but it wasn’t enough to turn me away from the path I had chosen.
I left the United States and my family, knowing that I would not return. I gave each and every one of them a proper farewell and let them know what I hoped for their future. It had been a hard thing to do willingly but my heart and soul told me that I was ready for the next stage of my existence.
That was what had brought me here sitting in the church I was married in and walking down memory lane in the hopes it would provide the tranquility that left me when Edward had died.
Ness’ soft voice spoke next to my ear and I turned my head to vaguely look at her. “I think mum that it might be time to get you back to the hotel. You must be exhausted after all of the travel and the moving around we’ve done today.”
I simply nodded and allowed myself to be guided from the church and into a cab for the trip back. Scenery went past in a blur of images as I began to retreat into myself. Everything was so different now to when Edward and I had originally been here as a loving couple, who had their whole lives ahead of them. The voices of Ana and Ness invaded my consciousness but only as a vague understanding that they were there but kind of far away. I began to understand that I was already beginning to shut down but there was one last thing I had to do before the time came for me to leave altogether.
Once we were all safely sojourned back in our hotel suite I convinced the girls to let me rest and go off on their own exploration of the city without me. They had eventually reluctantly agreed and soon I found myself alone and able to finalise my plans to give Edward one last thing. I foraged through my handbag until I found the small urn that was so precious to me. Soon I was leaving the hotel and slowly making my way across the busy streets until I was beside the main river of Paris. For several minutes I just stood and let all the memories bombard me until all I held in my heart was lightness.
Our years in Paris……….the most amazing wedding ever………my babies being born………..my children playing in the park with their cousins…………Edward being promoted and then becoming owner of his own business………….the birth of nephews and nieces to love and to cherish………..teenagers graduating from highschool……….first loves…….broken hearts to help mend………college graduating ceremonies……….weddings……………the introduction of our grandchildren………travelling……….playing………..and constant loving…………….and there through every single memory I held was my constant, my reason for laughter, my rock through thick and thin, the one person who I could always rely on to hold me and love me…………my Edward.
I gently undid the lid of the urn and held it out so that the contents could scatter across the waters of the Seine. It was surreal to think that this was a small part of Edward that I had brought with me and I watched as the ash disappeared quickly whilst I thought of how such a strong and vibrant man could be reduced to next to nothing in earthly terms. I knew differently for his soul though and it was that thought that made me speak to the man who meant so much to me.
“I did it, my love. I gave us one last walk down memory lane together. You’re part of Paris now, the same way Paris was always part of us. Our life together was perfect Edward. I couldn’t have asked for a better man to spend it with. I love you……….always.”
With quiet determination I made my way back to my hotel room, past the polite greetings of the hotel workers, up the elevator and into the ornate bedroom that had been my home for only one night. I took one last look through the beautiful pictures of all my children and family and then laid my weary body on the bed and sighed a breath of relief. The tension that had been radiating through me ever since Edward had died was now seeping away from me and my body relaxed back into the softness of the mattress beneath me. A complete sense of harmony and composure could be felt all around me. I would not end my own life; that had never been a consideration but here in Paris where my life had truly begun I was more than willing to allow my life to end. I knew without a doubt that when I closed my eyes that it would be for the last time because God was ready for me now and he was willing to give me the greatest gift of all………..the one thing that brought the smile of tranquility to my face with the mere thought of it……….
…………Edward for eternity.
CULLEN – Bella ( nee Swan) Passed away in Paris on Friday May 30 peacefully and without pain. At 85 she remained active and engaged until the end. Beloved wife of the late Edward Cullen. Cherished mother of Ness, Anthony and Lucas. Loving grandmother of Ana, Rose, Carlie, Colin, Aaron, Matthew, Robert, and Alexander. Proud great grandmother of Ellie and Jake. Bella’s memory will live on in the hearts of her extended family. A gentle, compassionate and generous woman; a tremendous presence in the life of her family and friends who gain strength in the knowledge that she has been reunited with her true love. Funeral service to be held Thursday 5th June at Riverside Chapel, 21 West Broad St, Mt Vernon, NY
Thank you Michele!!! it was wonderful, excellent, amazing, touching...........I was crying when I first starting reading it.....saying no edward can't be gone............but when I realized that they were 85 years old I felt much better, but I cried thru the whole thing...................WELL DONE MY FRIEND!!!! until your next one.
Thanks so much for always supporting the stories that I wrote and giving me such positive comments each and every chapter. AnahyR had a great idea and I did my best to make it the way she saw it but I have to admit I am a little nervous about how she will see the way I ended it given that that was my idea and I knew some people would be upset that I killed them off. ( In a nice way though I hope.) I cried whilst I was writing it particularly when Rosalie passed - that was hard but like Bella said at eighty five you are used to the concept of death and I couldn't see them all getting through every aspect of life together right to the end.
Thanks, thanks thanks!!!!!!
no i cant even put it into words..
thats the best epilogue i've ever read ..the idea of it is brilliant....hey!!!...u got me crying!!!
but edward is dead??? a life without edward is like a life without ..EVERYTHING...!!
Michelle..i am trully honest when i tell u that this is the best.most amazing fanfiction...no not even fanfiction i call it an amazing WORK.. and i repeat it again if u ever decided to publish it or anyother i would gladly do what it takes to put my hands on it...!!
but wasnt it cruel to leave bella all alone in the world i mean her being the last to pass out??
anyway u know better!!!!...rosalies death was totaly unexpected..!..u know what i cant even imagine emmettt as a decent serious oldman!!! i just cant!!..
i thought they'd pass all their lives in paris..
.that was UNEXPLAINANBLE!!!!!
thank you .. i really mean it...
and I KNOW I'M GREEDY ASKING U THIS.. but plz would u plz post another chapter of their life in paris back to those first years??or any important events in paris??if its possible?pleaase!
i'd really appreciate it ..
in the end and i hope it wont be my last comment ..(u probably got borred reading all this but i'm trying to tell u how i really love this fanfic and your effort in writing a perfectly writtin one).wish u uccess and happiness...
if u ever wrote newfanfictions plz tell me!..i've alreay started reading the heart is a bloom and i love every part of it but to be honest i loved LOSS TO LOVE way too much!!
god bless u and be with u ...
your ..(devoted ...fan if u pleas!!)
High compliments from you my friend but I am used to that because you have been an amazing support throughout all the chapters and your kind words always make me feel like I am doing something right. I know this was a different way to end it but I wanted to try something that wasn't the regular wedding, live happily ever after but still show that that was exactly what they did - have a long and wonderful life together. I also wanted to show that Bella really couldn't go without Edward because she loved him so much.
I can't promise you anything at the moment because as you know I haven't been one hundred percent lately and it is really hard to just function in normal life let alone trying to get time to sit down and write but I will try to do an extra little bit about their life in Paris just for you ( and all the other friends on here who have been so great)
I hope you like The Heart is a Bloom - I have a huge soft spot for it myself.
Thanks you so much for your enthusiasm and for always bringing a smile to my face!!!
Thank you, thank you. I am really happy to know that you felt the emotions of the chapter as I wanted them to be felt. I won't be writing for a little bit I think but I am enjoying helping you out with yours ( even though I'm not having to do much :)
I know the epilogue was not what most people were expecting but I really wanted to do something a little different. I couldn't imagine Bella lasting long after Edward passing so I thought this was a fitting end for her.
Again thanks for everything and I am really looking forward to seeing the next chapter of Love Put Together - it has me enthralled :)
Thankyou Cierra. I can not tell you how nice it is to hear such positive words about the story.
Thank you for everything nice you said about me and the way I write. I have really enjoyed working with AnahyR on this story and hope that I did well by her ideas. I apprecaite your ongoing support
OMG !!!!! I have to take a moment here to organize my head!
first of all, I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH WORDS TO TELL YOU HOW AMAZING YOU ARE, AND I'M SO BEYOND TRILLED YOU NAMED ONE OF THEIR GRANDCHILDREN AFTER ME (that is really pretentious) !!!
I seriously can't thank you enough, I don't have the words in English nor Spanish, I have to take a few breaks reading this chapter because it was too much for me to handle at the same time, with that I realize how hard it must have been for you to write!
I wish I could travel all they way where you are and give you the biggest of the hugs, YOU HAVE MADE THIS MORE THAN PERFECT!!!!!!
I have been reading all the comments and you can see that I'm not the only one who thinks you would do amazing as a writer, YOU ARE MORE THAN AMAZING WRITER MICHELLE!!!!
Thank you for give life to my ideas, to turn my draft into such a beautiful story!!!
you are very dear to me Michelle, and I seriously wish I could give you a hug right now.
I hope you give us the chance to read your amazing stories, and you keep writing!!!
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU SO MUCH. GRACIAS, GRACIAS, MUCHISIMAS GRACIAS!!!!
CHEERS, TO ONE OF THE BEST WRITERS I KNOW