Edward left Bella in New Moon and never came back. Now Bella has a plan for moving on with her life
Disclaimer. ** All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer **
WARNING: **There is direct text from Stephenie Meyers Twilight Saga**
*It is not my intention to steal anything from Stephenie Meyer*
You could run from someone you feared, you could try to fight someone you hated. All my reactions were geared toward this - the monsters, the enemies.
But how could you run, how could you fight, when doing so would hurt that beloved one?
How could you, if it was someone you truly loved?
Chapter 1: Goodbye Forks
“Happy Birthday Bella” Jacob said towering over me as he stood in my doorway. He was holding a pink frosted cupcake in the palm of his hand, lit with a single candle. I smiled up at him, this was the perfect gift -no party, no celebration -just my best friend, a cupcake and a quiet evening in, on my last day in Forks.
“Make a wish -preferably before the wax completely covers the thing!” he said teasing.
I quickly blew it out, and then stepped aside, letting him in my tiny apartment “Jake, I’m a little old for making wishes. But thank you.” I reached up around his neck, giving him a peck on the check.
“Your only twenty Bella, and your never too old to make a wish!” He answered me, rolling his eyes at the same time.
He walked into the kitchen and went to the cupboard where I normally kept my plates, when he opened the door and had a brief moment of shock and then looked around, finding the boxes.
“You already packed up the kitchen?” he sounded a little confused.
“Jake, I’ve already packed up the whole apartment” I answered him, fanning out my hand towards the empty space.
“Oh” he nodded, slowly dropping his head.
“I know, I know. I just thought maybe you would have changed your mind” He cut me off, knowing I would just repeat the same thing that I have been telling him for almost a year now.
“Well, I haven’t and I’m sorry”
“Don’t be sorry Bella, I’ll just miss you that’s all” he smiled a weak smile at me, trying his best to hid his disappointment.
“It’s only college Jake, it’s not like you’ll never see me again” I lied.
“Yeah, college in Britain!” he scoffed.
“Whatever Jake!” I rolled my eyes and smiled at him, lightly punching him on the shoulder -which still managed to hurt a little.
I remembered back to a summer not that long ago when he kissed me without my permission. I unthinkingly punched him in the face and broke my wrist, after that I only had to fight him off for a couple more months before he got over the ridiculous idea of us being together.
Thinking about that made me chuckle, so I shook my hand like it really hurt -he remembered too and laughed back, shoving me very lightly on my shoulder, just enough to make me stumble back and laugh a little louder.
We split the cupcake and spent the remainder of the night on my tiny sofa talking and watching bad TV.
The next morning Jake and I drove over to my dad and Sue’s -my step-mom’s house, so the three of them could drive me to the airport to see me off.
About a year after Harry Clearwater passed away, Charlie and Sue where married. They both had loved Harry so much, that when he died they ended up spending a lot of time together, and eventually falling in love. They made each other happy and seemed to be perfect for each other, which allowed everyone to accept it so easily, no one looked at it as wrong or in a judging way.
I really like my new step-siblings too, we all got along really well. We were like the brady bunch -minus three.
After the long drive to the Seattle airport I had just enough time to check in and say goodbye to my family and best friend.
“I love you guys, thank you for driving me” I said to all three of them.
“We love you too sweetheart” Sue smiled, holding out her arms for me to hug her. We exchanged a quick hug and a kiss on the check before I let her go.
“I love you Bells, I’m really gonna miss you” Charlie grabbed me into a tight hug, his voice was horse as he fought back tears. Hearing him like this broke my self control and I began to weep.
“I love you too dad and I’ll miss you very much” I choked out between breaths. We stood there holding each other for a few minutes, neither of us moving to let go, Jake finally spoke up.
“Bella, your going to miss your plane” he said quietly.
“K” I whispered back, moving to let go of my dad. He still held on for a few tight more seconds then let me go, but not before kissing me on the check. “I love you, you call me as soon as you get there” he said sternly, looking me square in the eyes.
“K dad, I will. Promise” I tried to smile under he hands that surrounded my face. He bent down and kissed me one last time on the forehead before letting me go.
As soon as his hands were off my face Jake picked me up in a bear hug, squeezing me so tight I could barely breath “Jake…can’t….breath….” I managed to get out.
He laughed and set me down and then pulled me back into a hug, this time light enough that I could return his affection. I buried my face in his chest as I began to cry again. He was my rock, the one I counted on most in my life and I would miss him terribly. He bent down and kissed me on the top of my head, then resting his check there for a while, until I caught my breath.
He pulled me in tightly when I started to pull away, then let me go after giving me another kiss on the head. “Love you Bells”
“Love you too Jake” I replied, my breath hitching on the words.
I was holding Jakes hand when I started to walk away, neither of us letting go, until we had to when the slack ran out, both our arms falling heavily to our sides when our fingers slipped from each other. I walked threw the gate and turned to look at them one last time whispering the words ‘I love you’, I knew Jake would have heard me, but to my dad and Sue it would have looked like I only mouthed them.
I turned and continued to my boarding gate, leaving them and Forks behind me.
Once I reached London, I did as I promised and called Charlie to let him know that I had made it safe. We talked for a few minutes before I called to talk to Jake, he sounded happy to hear me but still had sadness in his voice.
When I hung up with them I went to the desk to check in for my other flight, the one that would lead out of the UK.
Chapter 2: Volterra
Once the plane landed at my final destination, I grabbed my two small bags and headed out of the airport to find a cab. Between the drive and my search it had taken me three hours until I found the place that I had always intended to come.
I was scared and nervous, but completely accepting in anything that was to come. I had decided on my fate long ago, it was a decision I had made, and had been planning and intended to keep. So as I walked up to the guards, not letting the hammering in my chest detour me, I confidently walked up to one of the men, looked him square in the eye and said
“I am here to speak with Aro”
It was just after dusk, dark enough for a vampire to be out in the open, but there were very little people on the street. He looked down at me, with amusement, confusion and shock fleeting across his cold face, then he squinted his eyes at me ever so slightly before answering “Excuse me?”
“Please, I must speak with Aro, your master. I have come a very long way, and with the information I hold, I’m sure he would like to speak with me as well.” I said, trying my best to sound confident, as if I actually had something he would want.
He continued to look at me with a bewildered expression on his face before looking up at his partner and nodding towards the door. The other vampire gave him a nod in return and went into the castle.
I took in a ragged breath, trying to calm myself. I never really expected it to go this far, I had hoped but didn’t think it would, a new wave of butterfly nervous erupted in my stomach as I tried to keep my breathing and my heartbeat under control.
Several minutes had passed, long enough for my nerves to die down, only to be replaced with despair. They were not going to let me in, and I would have to find another way to get what I wanted. All this time and planning was now wasted, and I had no back up plan.
The vampire guard must have noticed my change in demeanor, he chuckled softly with a grin “What’s your name?”
“Bella” I answered him softly, all hope and confidence from my voice “My name’s Bella” I looked down, trying to squish the urge to run away and cry.
He didn’t say anything else, we just stood there continuing to wait, in the dark and silence for someone to return with any news.
Finally after what seemed like an hour the other vampire came back out, he walked up to me, looking at the other guard and then telling me “Follow me”
I stood there, I was confused, I had been waiting out here for such a long time that I was sure I would be sent home, and when he said ‘Follow me’ it didn’t make sense. After a few seconds of both of them looking at me like I was a crazy lunatic, the guard who had been standing with me finally spoke again.
“Bella. Aro will see you now” he said slowly, as though I were a child who needed specific directions to understand, which was apparently the case.
“Oh, right. Ok” I mumbled out.
They looked at each other and shrugged before walking, one in front of me the other behind. We walked into the castle through the massive wooden doors and down several different halls, making our way deeper and deeper into the castle. After several minutes of walking we finally reached a room, I was shocked to find a human women at the reception desk. She smiled a gentle smile at me and then giggled at the vampire who walked behind me.
We walked through the last set of doors before reaching a room. It was round with three large chairs set up in the middle of the room. I recognized the men in them immediately as the vampires from a painted portrait that I once saw.
The two guards I had walked with, took me to the center of the room facing the three vampires, one standing on either side of me.
The vampire in the middle smiled a kind smile and stood up walking towards me “What is your name dear?” his voice was velvety like all the other’s I had heard, but raspy having an old sound to it.
“Bella” I said timidly, tipping my head towards him as if he were royalty.
“And why have you come here Bella?”
“I..uh..I” I shook my head, I had no idea what to say to him. I knew why I had come, and I knew what I wanted from them, but I had no idea how to explain myself or ask for what I wanted.
“Don’t be afraid dear Bella. My name is Aro, you asked for me by name. Now there must be something I can do for you, it’s not everyday a young human girl come’s knocking on the Volturi’s door asking to speak with one of the leaders.” He was still speaking softly, his words kind and curious.
“I..I’m sorry…I don’t…know what to say…where to begin….I” I couldn’t form a coherent thought let-alone a sentence.
“Why don’t you start by telling me how you’ve come to know my name and where to find me” He smiled a gentle smile.
“I knew a family, who had spoke of you and your coven.” I told him, flinching on the word family, hoping he would not ask me any names.
“Family? What family do you speak of?” he looked confused, and my chest began to writhe in pain. I had yet to speak any of their names aloud, not even a last name, and my body instinctively began to react on the impending doom, so taking the natural precaution, one that I had become very used to, I tightly wrapped my arms around my chest -in a hopeless effort to hold in and prevent the burn.
“Cullen” I whispered out as quickly as I could, wincing at the sound of the word, then tightly clenching my jaw.
“Ah, Carlisle. My dear old friend, how is he doing?” He asked apparently oblivious to my pain.
“I wouldn’t know, I haven’t seen them in two years.” I told him as calmly as I could, closing my eyes, forcing away the pain and then opening them again to look at Aro’s face.
“Ah, I see. And are they why you have come here today?”
“No.” I told him flatly -and in complete truth. They were not the reason I had come.
“And how’s that?” he asked curiously again.
“They are the reason that I know, but not the reason I have come. I came for me.” I was gaining some of my confidence back, remembering why I had come in the first place.
“You came for you? And what can we do for you, Bella”
“I want you to change me”
This is a work in progress, but while you wait you can read my other completed fan-fic here:
That was goood! please write more i want to know what happens next really bad! lol its great 8)
A/N: Thank you to the Vampire Diaries for 'lending' me their best.
Chapter 21: Journal: Someone Else
June 2nd 2006
I met someone.
Jacob and I went to a party last night out at first beach. I probably had too much to drink, but I had fun (I usually do with Jake) but last night was different.
His name is Damon. He's not anything like you or Jacob in that special way that you two are, not that I'm aware of anyway … and Jake said he didn't stink, so that has to be a something? Right?
But, more importantly, he's nothing like you.
I knew instantly that he wouldn't remind me of you in anyway, he was forward and brash, unapologetic, – almost to the point of being rude... and, I liked it. I felt new around him, and for whatever reason he wanted to spend time with me, so I let him.
He has a bike, which you know I have a soft spot for ever since Jake and I fixed up those two a couple of years ago. It was stupid and dangerous, but he offered me a ride and I accepted.
Jacob and his girlfriend Liz were to preoccupied to notice, otherwise I would have never been able to get away with something so reckless, but I did, and it was exhilarating.
He took me around on the old back roads where we eventually ended up at the top of a cliff looking over the water.
He kissed me.
He didn't ask, he didn't take it slow and he didn't hesitate. He walked up to me, wrapped his arm around my waist, held the back of my head and kissed me, long, deep and hard.
He said he liked me. Just like that, no romantic twist, no games.
I like you.
He said to me as he continued to hold me firmly against him, and then before I could answer or reply with anything he kissed me again, and then told me we were leaving and got back on his bike.
It was, sexy. The way he just took control of me and the situation, and it was exciting.
I can't wait to see him again.
10 Years Ago...
“Oh, teens today and their underage drinking. Tragic.” The guy next to me stated, startling me by leaning down while speaking into my ear.
“Excuse me?” I asked him, turning around and taking a step back from his close proximity.
“I'm Damon” He said sticking out his hand “and you are Bella Swan.”
“I am.” I confirmed to him skeptically, bringing my hand up to meet his.
“A pleasure.” He said with a glint in his eye as he took my hand in his, curling my fingers around his own while bringing my hand up to his lips; placing a light kiss against my knuckles.
He smiled at me as he let my hand go, walking past me towards the beach he asked “Are you here with anyone?” he spoke to me while looking out at the water.
“Yes.” I told him, beginning to feel mildly defensive about his attitude.
“Other than your friend Jacob and his girlfriend Lizzie.” He turned toward me with a squint and a smirk.
“How did you...” I trailed off, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of catching me off guard. Straightening my shoulders I said to him “I know a lot of people here. Most of them actually.”
“Of course you do.” He turned fully toward me with a smile. “But, you're not here with any -one of them are you?” He stated rather than questioned.
“Come on,let me get you another drink.” He told me; wrapping his arm around my shoulders, without allowing me to answer, reply or accept his offer.
“You're kind a demanding for someone I don't even know.” I told him as I stumbled my way over the rocks.
“Yeah.” He said, humored and unaffected by my statement.
Damon ushered me over to the beer coolers keeping his hand on my back as he gently guided us to our destination. Once there he went over to one of the coolers and reached in, grabbing out a beer and cracking it open before handing it to me.
Once the beer was in my hand, he went over to another cooler and pulled out a bottle of water.
“Thanks.” I said to him, but it sounded more like a question.
“You're welcome.” He said back to me, coming over to cheers me with his bottle.
“You're not drinking?”
“Why not?” I asked a little miffed.
He chuckled at me before answering “I'm not some drunk sorority chick Bella.” He said giving me a wink. “You can't roofie me.”
“What?” The word came out a little breathy from my confusion.
He laughed at me and my obvious fluster before telling me “I don't drink and drive B.”
He shoved off the car he had been leaning on and started walking down the row of vehicles. “Or ride as it where tonight.” He said, pointing at a black and silver bike.
“Is that yours?” I asked, instantly more excited about my new friend.
I walked over to the bike and began running my hand over the metal frame and leather seats. Damon followed, watching me as I circled and inspected the motorcycle. I thought of mine and Jacobs bikes that were locked up in his dads garage under a tarp. We used to have so much fun riding those old things, even though we haven't done it in quite a while. Thinking back on it made me smile.
“Do you want to go for a ride?”
I looked up at him without answering, and then began searching the grounds around us, looking to see if Jacob was in sight.
“They don't have to know.” He told me conspiratorially, walking around me and gently brushing up against me as he took the helmet off the back of the bike. “We'll be gone and back before anyone has time to notice that you were gone.”
“O.K.” I agreed, totally convinced by him. I don't know if it was the beer or Damon himself, but I felt comfortable enough with him to get on the back of his bike without a second thought.
I hurriedly finished what was left of my beer and shoved the helmet on my head.
Damon didn't wait for me to do either; he climbed on the motorcycle and kick started the engine before the helmet was fully pressed on my head. My hands were a little shaky as I climbed on behind him and gingerly wrapped my arms around his torso.
Suddenly he let go of the handle bars and grabbed both of my hands. “I won't let you fall Bella, but you have to hold on.” He said to me fervently while tightening my hold around him.
We rode around for awhile before finally coming to the top of a wide, open cliff with a great view of the ocean. There was a soft warm breeze as we looked out on to the moon sheathed water, the gentle rhythmic waves crashing bellow as the only sound in the night.
I turned toward him to thank him for bringing me here when the look on his face stopped me from speaking. Damon took the few shorts steps between us, effectively putting our bodies tightly against each other. He wrapped one arm strongly around the back of my waist, while bringing the other up around my should to grasp the back of my head as he brought his mouth against mine.
The kiss was so intense I melted into it, letting his need and my own take over my body and my reactions. I wrapped both my arms around his neck and pulled myself closer into him, my body tingling from head to toe from its intensity.
Damon's kiss was strong and passionate, taking everything he wanted but giving me more in return – I didn't want it to end.
June 10th 2006
I'm seeing Damon again tonight. I haven't seen him since that first night at the beach. We've only talked once on the phone, so I'm a little nervous but still excited.
It's so stupid that I feel like I'm cheating on you, in just a few short months you'll have been gone for two years.
I should get over you right? I mean, you've moved on, so what's my problem?
I'm really going to try with Damon, he's so different from you that it might be possible.
All of the other dates I've been on have been a disaster. They either try to hard or say something too soon that reminds me of you. It might have been too soon for me anyway.
I'm really excited about the possibility that, for even just awhile, with Damon, I'll be able to focus on someone other than you.
Even if it only lasts, for just a little while.
10 years ago...
*Knock. Knock. Knock.*
“Jake will you get that please!” I hollered from the bathroom. I was finishing combing through my hair when the door knocked, I figured it would be Damon coming to pick me up.
“Hey.” Jake said opening the door.
“You're here early.” Jake said to him, being Jake. I had to roll my eyes, was he seriously trying doing the whole 'man of the house' thing again! “What's up.”
“I've come to eat cotton candy and steal your girl.” Damon told him coming into the apartment.
“hmm. Good luck with that.” Jake replied to him with humor in his voice as he closed the door.
“I don't need luck. I'm me.” Damon replied with a smirk.
“Cocky much?” I asked walking into the room to stand in between the two of them.
“Very much.” Damon replied scandalously.
Jacob looked at me as he gaffed in response, while I turned red as a tomato. Wow.
“T.M.I. Dude.” Jacob said to him, and then was serious “And Bella here is a lady. All joking aside, I expect you to treat her as such.”
“Jacob!” I chided him, but it didn't matter, him and Damon were having there own conversation.
“Of course.” Damon told him seriously.
“I'm glad we agree.” Jake said to him stoically, and then stuck his hand out.
They both shook hands as if they had just made some sort of deal or transaction, while I watched, feeling a little put-out, embarrassed and annoyed.
“You know Jacob.” Damon said once they let each others hand go, “I look at you and I see myself.”
“Really?” Jake asked him sarcastically with a smirk.
“A less dashing, less intelligent version.” Damon returned the smirk.
Jacob just chuckled at him before coming over to kiss the top of my head. “Have fun tonight Bells.” He said and then turned for the door, “And take care of my girl.” He told Damon before leaving the apartment.
I turned to look at Damon; once Jake had closed the door ,to ask him what that was all about but didn't get the chance.
“Protective of you isn't he?” Damon questioned me, and then just like the first time we met, he didn't let me finish, he walked up to me and pulled me in for a kiss. 'God, that's hot' I thought as I pulled him closer.
June 16th 2006
I'm having a really great month. I just wanted you to know.
June 20th 2006
June 30th 2006
Well, it's been a month and Damon and I are still seeing each other. My little apartment is full. Jake has always been a permanent fixture around here, only going home once or twice a week, and since he stays here Liz usually stays with him a couple of nights, and as of lately Damon's been staying over too. It's kind of nice, I always liked being alone, it never really bothered me, but I didn't realize that I would enjoy having a house full of people either.
Keeps me busy and my mind off of you that's for sure. The apartment is too small to really hide anywhere, not that I want to, but if I did it wouldn't last for long.
Damon is taking me to Seattle for the weekend, he won't tell me what we are doing but I'm hoping it has something to do with Death Cab for Cutie, I'm so excited!!
I really think you would have liked Damon. I know Emmett would have, they have that whole sports thing in common.
For right now, I'm having fun with this. I'm just letting myself go … and on the nights that I'm alone, I try not to think of you, so that I can continue to enjoy right now.
10 years ago...
Damon and I have been in Seattle for a whole day and he still won't tell me what we are doing. He took me out to dinner last night to The Waterfront Seafood Grill. It's right on the peir looking out at Puget Sound. It was amazing, and the food was good too.
We did all the touristy things, we went to the Aquarium and Pike's Place, we walked around downtown and finally went to the Space Needle to look out at the city. It was a really great night, ending at the hotel.
We were just finishing lunch at Denny Park when he stood, pulling me up with him.
“Are we finally going?” I asked him excitedly.
“Almost.” He said mischievously. He then took a bandana from his back pocket and walked around me.
“Hold still.” He told me, and then started to cover my eyes with the cloth.
“What are you doing?”
He didn't answer me immediately, he finished tying the blindfold and then said “Now we are going.”
“Damon...I can't go anywhere like this, I can't see!”
“I'll lead you, don't you trust me?”
“Come Bella.” He said ignoring me, he wrapped his arm around my back and placed his other hand on my shoulder that was next to him, sort of steering me.
He lead me over to his bike, where he helped me get on.
“This is kidnapping.” I huffed.
“That's a little melodramatic, don't you think?”
I didn't reply, I just held on a little tighter. We rode around for what felt like hours, but was probably only about fifteen minutes.
When we finally stopped I could hear people around me; a lot of people.
“Where are we?” I asked, – again not receiving a response, instead he just took up the same position and began leading me further into the sound.
We stopped once and one of his hands left my body, and then he was gently pushing me through something that made a clicking sound.
Not long after that and bumping into a ton of people along the way, he finally stopped and whispered in my ear.
“We're here.” And then he took off my blind fold.
July 5th 2006
It was Death Cab for Cutie, and it was awesome! I had so much fun, … I really have fun with him, he's great. The whole weekend with him was amazing.
I feel bad for saying that to you, but he really is . I can't describe him, but he's great.
I really like this guy.
July 18th 2006
I'm not going to feel guilty about being with him anymore. I'm happy and I want to enjoy it. You left me. Not the other way around.
July 29th 2006
Damon surprised me again today. You know how I hate surprises, but this wasn't bad, not that last time was bad, it wasn't at all. I guess he's figured me out a little more. There wasn't anyone around, no embarrassing group gatherings, blindfolds or anything, just him and me.
He cooked me dinner. It was awful.
But truly one of the sweetest things, and with a little red it was one of the best nights I've spent in my apartment.
10 Years ago...
“Bell!” Damon bellowed as he came through the door, I had just gotten out of the shower so I quickly wrapped a towel around myself before stepping out the door.
“I have a surprise...” He was saying and then stopped once he saw me.
I blushed; rethinking my attire as I made myself known, but ignored both our reactions and decided to tease him instead. “A surprise Damon? You know I don't really like surprises.” I said to him and then pulled my hair over to one side, trying to shield myself with it.
“But I do.” He said cocking up one of his eyebrows.
We looked at each other for a few tense moments before he told me “Get dressed and come out when you're ready.” And with that he turned away and began shuffling whatever is was that he brought with him.
I hurried back into the bathroom to dry off , get dressed and comb through my hair, once I was finished I went back out to where he had been making a lot of noise and sporadically cussing.
“What are you doing?” I asked with a laugh as I walked into my kitchen. He had what seemed like every pan and dish I owned scattered all over the kitchen, with bags of groceries mixed in.
“I'm making you dinner.” He told me without turning around.
“Is that what you call this?” I teased him.
With that he finally turned around to smile at me, coming over to sneak in a kiss.
“Cute pj's” He said appraising me.
Two hours later Damon had managed to put together what looked like red sauce and noodle blob, but was supposed to be chicken parmesan.
He wouldn't let me help him with dinner, no matter how many times I tried or asked. In the end we had a batch of both over cooked and under cooked noodles, burnt chicken and watery spaghetti sauce with chunks.
“This is garbage.” he told me when it was all done.
“Let me try it. You went through all this trouble, I at least get to try it.” I didn't want to, but he looked kind of pitiful right at the moment.
He looked at me skeptically and then shook his head. I rolled my eyes at him and gently pushed him out of my way to grab a plate and put some of 'it' on.
He copied me and we both sat down across from each other at the small table in the next room. It was like a stand off, the way we both looked at each other, daring the other with our eyes to try it first.
“Come on,” I said to him “it can't be that bad.” I faked nonchalance.
Looking down at my plate I couldn't decided where I didn't want to begin, so I just picked the middle, stuck my fork in and cut through what was there - actually I sawed through what was there, but that's not the point.
When I had a bite sized amount cut up I stuck my fork in it and popped it into my mouth.
The flavor on contact wasn't bad, but once I swiped it over to the side of my mouth to chew I was treated to the full effect, and as I crunched down on whatever it was that I had stuck in my mouth I smiled at him through the rough biting.
“How is it?” He asked warily.
“mmm.” Was my genius reply while nodding and continuing to chew.
With that he took his fork and cut through his pile and put a huge bite in his mouth, chewed twice and spit it out.
“BLAH! That's disgusting!” He said wiping his mouth and grabbing for his glass of wine. “Bella spit it out!” he ordered and then took a long pull off his glass.
I couldn't help the laugh that finally bubbled over and out through the food that was in my mouth, I managed to choke down the bite that I had before reaching for my own glass to swish my mouth with.
Damon didn't hesitate to grab both our plates and toss the food in the garbage. When he had everything thrown away, he tied up the bag and stomped out of the house to throw it in the dump.
When he came back in I handed him his refilled glass of wine and turned to look at the mess in the kitchen. The laughter that followed from both of us set the mood for the rest of the evening.
July 30th 2006
It was one of the greatest nights, but an even better morning...and afternoon.
I won't be writing for awhile. After last night I realized I've been splitting my focus with Damon.
I can't think about you while being with him. That's not fair to him, and I want it to be.
I'm with someone else, and you can't be here.
great chapter but im sooo lost lol what happens after she reconizes emmet please update soon:)
Chapter 22: Theory
It was weird, the way his touch affected me. Even him touching my shield sent a shiver of electricity down my spine.
It's been just over a day that I started blocking everyone away from me. After what happened with Emmett I needed time alone to think.
I still don't know how I knew his name or knew who he was, but I remember him. It doesn't make any sense.
I can't recall knowing him from my past, but I recognize his face. I knew who he was by the sound of his voice though we've never had a conversation. I feel like I know him, like he's important to me, but I have nothing to draw on.
However, I have a theory.
Emmett reminds me of Felix. Almost immediately I accepted that. They are both big – in life and in size, and in very different ways look alike. Their skill is their strength and they are intensely loyal to both their friends and their family. They are big goofs who like to joke around and have a good time, and take very little seriously...how do I know that? Because of Alice.
Alice, in all her yammering over the last week spent a lot of time talking about everything; including her family members. Emmett came up quite often. I know from her that 'Emmett is a big man child' and the he and Rosalie are together. His favorite game to hunt is bear and that a bear is why he is a vampire. Emmett loves sports and games and he spends a 'dumb inducing amount of time' playing his Playstation.
I know all of this and much more because of Alice. That has to be why he was so familiar to me, add that with the fact that he reminds me of Felix and voila' – Emmett equals someone I recognize.
Of course that's what I keep telling myself anyway. It all makes perfect sense. So it must be.
I knew he was still out there, I could feel him brushing up against my shield as he paced the ground, and I could hear him talking.
The land surrounding my house was wild and uneven, so even though I wasn't shielding very far out, I knew no one would be able to see my home or me as I spent the last several hours going over everything in my head, but they wouldn't know how far out they were.
I quietly left the walls of my home to walk around my property. I had to see him.
After having spent so much time with Demitri I've learned a thing or two about tracking, and even as quiet as our kind is, there are still ways to be even more so.
When I found where he was, I scaled a tree to perch on as I waited and watched his movements.
He looked distraught and unsettled as he paced the bracken floor. Every so often he would stop and look in the direction of my house, and then his shoulders would sag as he shook his head and began pacing again.
His expressions changed often too, I wished I could know the thoughts that went along with them. There were times he would look so angry; his jaw would clench as his fists balled up, I could see the dangerous vampire lurking within. While other times he was solemn and statuesque; strikingly beautiful in his affliction, a vulnerability that I've seen so rarely in our kind.
The hardest times to watch him were when he was sad. Sad – that doesn't accurately describe the look on his face; it was devastating, agonizing and empty.
I was just getting ready to leave; unable to watch any longer, when before I could he broke again. This time was the worst as I watched his face shatter in pain; I couldn't breath.
“Oh Bella.” He mourned the words. Then once again; as they had several times before, he sagged his shoulders – an invisible weight barring down on him, bowing his head and letting it fall against my barrier.
I could feel him against me, pushing on my heart as I held him up; supporting him so he wouldn't fall. It was heartbreaking.
I had to leave after that, I couldn't watch him any longer.
I slide down the tree and began to walk away and back to my house, pulling my shield with me. I felt the loss as soon as I was no longer in contact with Edward, and like I knew he would, it didn't take him but a breaths notice to start following me.
I didn't acknowledge him and he didn't say anything to me until we were at my front porch “Edward” I said before turning around.
Upon me speaking his name he took a step forward and brought up his arm to reach out for me. I put up my hand to stop him “Please, just let me say this.” He dropped his arm back down and nodded to me without saying a word.
“I know you and your family are going to try and turn this into something that it's not, and at first I was questioning it myself. But I need you to believe me when I say, I don't remember him or you or any of you, we've been over this.” I said to him, still holding out my hand so that he wouldn't speak. “I have now meet all of your family, they were all there except for Emmett. I knew who he was out of process of elimination, that's it.”
“Please, just let me finish.” I cut him off before he could say anything more. “Alice has spent an exhausting amount of time talking during our class together, she has spoke about each and every one of you repeatedly. When I saw Rosalie, I knew Emmett wasn't far behind. He had to be close, they never go anywhere without each other, at least not for long periods of time.” I told him and then began to walk the porch in a pace.
“From everything that Alice has said about Emmett, he reminds me of Felix, both of which are pretty hard not to like.” I smiled and then turned back around to Edward to finish what I was saying. “Through Alice, I've gotten a pretty good idea about who Emmett is, and when he wasn't there with the rest of them, but showed up and addressed me the way that he had ,of course I knew it was him, who else could it have been? You all keep insisting that you know me, and that's fine, you probably did, so it's not unexpected for him, and the way he is, to reintroduce and make himself known like that.” I finished saying, and then added, “That's it. There is no other explanation.”
When I finished talking he looked at me and then started shaking his head. “You're still so stubborn Bella.” He stated while looking at me; searching my face.
I was a little shocked by his examination of me, I had been told similar things for years and knew it to be true myself, but hearing it from him was a little befuddling.
“You really believe that that's all there is to it don't you?” He again stated, but in the form of a question.
“Of course I do.” I told him, squaring off my shoulders at the challenge.
“Well, you're wrong.”
“Excuse me?” I huffed at him.
“You're wrong.” He said straightening himself. “You are so willing to accept a lie but not the truth, why? Why can't you believe what you know to be true, you know us Bella, we are familiar to you...” I started shaking my head; silently arguing with him, as he continued to talk. “I saw you, I saw the look on your face – you recognized him Bella.”
“Yes you did.” He argued back, cutting me off. “I've tried to be patient with you, hoping that you would remember on your own, hoping that you would give us a chance and let us talk to you; tell you what we know, but you keep insisting that there isn't anything.” He paused for a moment.
“That couldn't be further from the truth Bella, we love you....I..” He stopped talking, and then whipped his head towards the back of my house. The look on his face was fierce and I was momentarily confused by his sudden change in attitude, before hearing for myself the rustling as someone approached my home.
“Damn it.” Edward hissed in the direction of the sound and then grabbed a hand full of his hair and tugged on it, I've seen him do this before and now realize it is something he does out of frustration.
A second later I heard my back door open “Bella...” Demitri cooed as he came through the door. I was surprised that he was here and looked in the direction of Demitri's voice in confusion, before turning back to Edward.
His face had taken up his familiar solemn look, now etched hard while looking angry as he was looked down at me, searching my face. I couldn't look away from him, he was so intense.
I was standing in front of the big window that was in my living room when Demitri saw me “Hey, there you are, what are you doing out there....” He said and then trailed off once he opened the door and saw Edward standing in front of me. “What the hell are you doing here?” He yelled angrily.
“Back off.” Edward seethed, but didn't take his eyes off of me.
Demitri took a few steps forward and then stopped when we heard the rustling of six pairs of feet coming towards us. I broke eye contact with Edward to look towards the on coming sound and found that the rest of the Cullen's were approaching my house.
Demitri very deliberately came towards us and put himself in between Edward and I. “Bella.” He ordered he – he wasn't asking; he was telling me to put up my shield, ordering me as a Volturi guard and not my boyfriend.
I stepped around him, putting myself in between the two of them. “They aren't going to hurt me Demitri.”
Demitri's responding glare was almost enough to make me shrink back from him, but I didn't, I stood my ground and very calmly looked at Edward. “Edward here was just leaving when you showed up, weren't you Edward.”
“No, I wasn't as a matter of fact.” He spoke politely to me while he stared down Demitri.
“Bella, somebody better tell me why the hell they are here, and you better tell me why the hell you didn't notify us of their presence.” Demitri clipped out on a tight jaw.
“Demitri...” I started to say.
“Do not speak to her that way.” Edward seethed taking a step forward towards him.
Demitri smirked before saying “It's none of your business and I'll speak to her however I choose.” He barked back standing himself up a bit straighter.
“Not in my presence and I'm making it my business.” Edward told him, grinding his teeth together as his fists balled up by his side.
“Bring it. I've been itching for a reason to take you down.”
“You have no idea.”
“ENOUGH!” I yelled at both of them. “What is the matter with you two?! You have no reason to be acting like this.” I turned to look at Demitri “I will explain everything later, if you will let me.” He pulled his eyes off Edward and looked at me, then gave me a single nod and took a step back.
I turned to Edward next. “You need to go, I've already said everything I needed to say to you.”
“I haven't said everything I need to say to you.”
“I'm asking you to leave.”
“Please Edward, just go.”
He looked at me with hurt in his eyes, then he too nodded in compliance. Edward had turned and took two steps before coming to a halt and spinning back around to look at Demitri.
“Not a chance.” He said to him.
I hadn't heard Demitri say anything, but by the look on his face I knew they were having their own conversation, one that I could only hear half of.
“I'll be fighting for her too. You should know that.”
I looked back over to Edward, confused by the words he was saying. There was a short pause as Edwards facial expressions shifted around before he continued.
“I'm not taking anything for granted, and I'll be fighting twice as hard as you will.”
“Good.” Demitri finally spoke out loud, pushing himself off of the railing that he had casually been leaning against. “It's no fun beating someone who forfeits.”
“I didn't say I would fight fair.”
“Neither did I.”
“Best of luck.” Edward finished, with a smirk. He looked down at me, giving me a polite smile and a goodbye nod. “Bella.” He said and then turned around to leave with his family.
I watched after them for a moment before turning to Demitri. “What the hell was that all about?”
“That's what I'd like to know Bella, what the hell was all that about? Why are they here? How long have they been here and why the hell haven't you said anything to me about it?!!” He yelled at me.
“I was trying to figure out what they want, and I didn't want any interference.”
“Interference? Is that was you think this is? That I'm interfering!” He growled.
“That's not what I said.” I yelled back at him.
“That's exactly what you said Bella!”
“It's not what I meant! Of course you're not interfering! I just didn't want to have the guard hovering around, I wanted to find out what they wanted by myself.”
“It's not up to you to decide who should be involved or not. It's your job to notify the guard with anything like this.” He said through clenched teeth. “And you should have told me.”
With that he walked past me, angrily going into the house. I followed him not wanting him to leave.
“Where are you going?” I questioned. “Don't leave.”
“I'm not going anywhere. Unlike you, I don't hide.”
It might as well have been a slap to the face the way his words hit me, I flinched back away from him and then in a quiet and wounded voice told him “I'm not hiding anything from you.”
“You keep telling yourself that Bella.”