The Twilight Saga


Edward returns to Forks to fight for a hurt and angry Bella. Not such an easy thing to do in this story. This is set after the Cullens have been away for quite a few months but before Bella makes the decision to cliff dive. I hope you enjoy the differences. A huge thankyou to Shellym127 and Wyldfyre for my wonderful banners.

Cheers
Michelle 
 Chapter One (BPOV)                 Chapter Two (BPOV)  
Chapter Three ( BPOV)               Chapter Four ( APOV)  
Chapter Five (EPOV)                  Chapter Six (EPOV)  
Chapter Seven (EPOV)               Chapter Eight (BPOV)  
Chapter Nine (APOV)                 Chapter Ten (EPOV)  
Chapter Thirty One (APOV) - Page 50 Chapter Thirty Two (BPOV) - Page 53 Chapter Thirty Three (EPOV) - Page 57 Chapter Thirty Four (BPOV) - Page 60
Chapter Thirty Five (EPOV) - Page 65
Chapter Thirty Six (EPOV) - Page 68
Chapter Thirty Seven (BPOV) - Page 71
Chapter Thirty Eight (APOV) - Page 74


Chapter One
The small pockets of warmth and hope that had been slowly finding their way into my damaged soul were threatening to disappear and it left me with a feeling of despair. Just when I thought that I had found some kind of reasonable existence – even a small tinge of happiness – I could feel that it was slipping away. Why did Jacob, my loving, fun, happy source of sunshine have to confuse our friendship for something more? Why couldn’t we just keep being friends and continue healing the broken pieces of my soul one small piece at a time through the warmth he had managed to bring to my life. Selfish, selfish. I knew it for what it was. I was being remarkably selfish to put him through this. To make him keep his distance at the same time as trying to pull his warmth into my very being. I was being unfair. He was being accepting. I should leave him alone but I really wasn’t sure that I could. I needed him to get me through this. It was only with him that I felt even remotely like myself – a shadow for sure but at least it was something beyond that awful place I was at when the other one left. I started to see the other’s face but I pulled myself away from that image and concentrated on Jacob, a different type of pain but somehow something less confronting. What choice was I going to make here? Neither choice would help. I would never love Jacob the way he wanted. Who am I kidding, I would never love anyone the way I should. I was damaged in that respect. I had known love and it had been ripped away. The darkness threatened to engulf me again. Concentrate - we are not thinking about that appalling time. Jacob. Yes Jacob. He knew that I couldn’t love him that way but he felt it might happen in time if I just let it. My choices could lead to even more heartache for him and I knew what that was like. Was I willing to put him through the emotional void I had experienced just so I could start to feel better myself? I had never been a selfish person. I had always been the one to look after others but……. I needed help and he was the only one who could give it.

“Bella. Are you home?” The front door slammed as Charlie entered the house. I quickly studied myself in the mirror. Not that I really cared what I looked like but I didn’t want Charlie to see that I had been crying again. It would break his heart if he thought that I was returning to that awful place I was at a few months ago. He was happy that I had finally managed to pull myself out of that hole and I was pretty sure that he was thanking Jacob for that in his own head. He knew I had a long way to go but I didn’t want to give him even an inkling that I could fall back into that abyss with the slightest provocation. It would hurt him. I sighed. There was always someone for me to hurt.

“Here dad”. I called as I made my way downstairs.
“ How was your day? Did you have fun with Jacob?” he enquired while he studied my face.
I pulled my face into a calm mask and answered the way I knew he wanted. “ Sure, we always have a good time together. We just hung out. You know how it is dad.”
“ When are you seeing him again?” Subtle Charlie. Why don’t you just ask me when are we going to get married and have kids so that you can be sure that I won’t completely lose it again.
“ Um. Not so sure. We are both pretty busy from here on in. You know school going back and all. I am sure it will be soon though” I added because I saw his face show a small sign of panic. “ Have to go dad the grocery store is calling or we won’t have any food. See ya.” I made a dash for the door before he could continue with the discussion and lead me to confess that not all was right between Jacob and I. It wasn’t something that I wanted to face.


Chapter Two
Life was full of mundane everyday routines and this was one of them. Grocery shopping. Thank goodness for the mundane. It let me look like I was functioning without really having to think about what was going on in all the other parts of my life. It made people think that I was surviving when all I wanted to really do was curl up into a ball and……. Not an option I told myself firmly. You are not the only person that is impacted by your choices. Charlie, Renee, Jacob, Angela. All people I loved and wanted to protect. One step in front of the other. Slowly but surely things would get better.

I had finished the shopping and was heading out to the carpark. I looked up to see that the shadows were deepening and that twilight was upon us. Twilight was his favourite time. I shuddered and deliberately made my thoughts wander from that potentially destructive course of images. When would this stop. I sighed for the umpteenth time and started to put the groceries in the boot of the car.

“ Bella”. I closed my eyes tightly. Why on earth was I hearing his voice. I was putting groceries in the car for god’s sake. I wasn’t doing anything dangerous that could lead me to hearing his voice. I wasn’t trying to be reckless on one of the motorbikes that Jacob had fixed for me. I wasn’t putting myself into any danger by talking to strange men in the middle of a quiet Port Angeles street. There wasn’t anything remotely threatening in what I was doing at all. I chose to ignore it and kept packing.

“ Ah excuse me Bella”. Now I know I am going mad. His voice was never pleasant when he spoke to me in my mind. He was always angry at me for what I was doing. What a joke. My mind obviously wanted to believe that he cared when I put myself in danger even though I knew that there was nothing further from the truth. This was different though. This was that beautiful sing song voice that I had cast from my mind when he had told me he didn’t love me anymore. When he had told me that he no longer existed. Why on earth was I hearing it now?

I slowly turned around to see what was going on. I gasped and instantly felt a fierce joy overcome me. It was instantly rebuffed however as my mind began to register what was happening in front of me. This could not be real. Edward stood about two metres in front of me, flanked by his family. Every single one of them. How could that be? Why on earth were they all here in front of me in a carpark of all places. Edward looked nervous. Alice looked elated. Jasper was worried. Emmett was smirking. Rosalie looked bored. Carlisle and Esme stood a little behind. It seemed like ages before anyone spoke. I couldn’t even grasp if this was reality or some sick fantasy. I had pushed all these people to the bottom of my subconscious in the hope of gaining some semblance of normality. Yet here they were looking as real as uniquely beautiful people can look.

I felt my hands reach across my stomach as if to protect myself. I hugged myself fiercely. This was not happening. This could not happen now. Please, please leave me alone I yelled to myself silently.

“ Bella. we were um….. that is Bella we were hoping……..” His voice trailed off as I stared at him coldly. I watched as he slumped slightly and turned to Alice for help.

Alice placed her hand on his arm and turned to me smiling. “ Hi Bella. We are so happy to see you”
Was she joking? What were they doing? Happy to see me? I had never heard anything so absurd in my life.
Alice came towards me. ‘She is going to hug you.’ my inner voice yelled at me and I reflexively placed my hands up to ward her off. I saw her stricken face as she quickly moved back to her spot next to Edward without touching me at all. Jasper grasped her hand and I knew that he was using his gift to help her. I didn’t care. I was beginning to spiral out of control. I could feel it. I needed to get out of here.

I turned back to the car and slammed the boot closed with as much ferocity as I could manage. My mind was still yelling at me to get out of there. I moved towards the car door. I still had not said a single word and I could still feel seven pairs of eyes staring uncertainly at my back.

“ Please Bella. Don’t go”. His voice was pleading. There was something there but I couldn’t quite get what it was. I was too full of my own anguish that I didn’t want to see what he was trying to do. “ I am so sorry Bella. I truly am…
“ You. Are. Sorry.” I spat out at him. He looked like I had slapped him across the face but he remained calm and tried again.
“ Yes Bella. I am sorry. I should never have left you like that. I have been….”

I could feel the red hot emotion of anger come over me. I couldn’t think straight. All I knew was that the one that had hurt me the most , the one that had ripped my heart out and left me to fend for myself was standing in front of me saying that he was sorry. What did he want from me? Hadn’t he hurt me enough?
“ You left me Edward. You made me think that you loved me and then you just decided that I wasn’t good enough for you and you…. left…. me. Do you think I care that you are SORRY. I DO NOT CARE” I yelled at him furiously and then realized where I was. The carpark. I made my voice softer but kept the anger in it. There was way too much pain involved to just let this go. “ You made your choice Edward. You made my choice for me. Not only did you take yourself away from me… you took everyone.” I glared at the whole family. Oh god how I had loved this family but now all I felt for them was anger. “ Not one of you cared enough about me to check that I was alright. Not one of you tried to keep contact”. I looked at Alice as I said this and I saw her cringe and Jaspers hand tighten on hers.

“ I’m sorry Bella” Alice moaned “ I know it seems like we didn’t care but of course we did. We just had to do the right thing”
“ The right thing, the right thing. Are you serious. You were my best friend. I loved you like a sister. I would never EVER TURN MY BACK on you” I was becoming hysterical. “ You are as bad as him. You LEFT me”
“ We did it to protect you Bella” Alice stammered. “ We were thinking of you”
“ How could going away possibly protect me Alice. How could leaving me to face the others possibly help me. Laurent, Victoria and any other blood drinking mythical creature that feels that I am their personal magnet. It’s neverending. Every sound, every shadow. Constant fear and NOONE to protect me. “ My breathing was becoming quicker and I could feel the shock oozing out of every one of them. I didn’t care. “ How was leaving the right thing to do when I couldn’t feel or breath for god knows how long?”
I caught the significant look that Alice gave Jasper and I turned on him ferociously. “ DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT CALMING ME DOWN. You have no right. Let me be. Let me feel what I am feeling Not what you want me to feel. You owe me that Jasper” Another stab in the heart for someone I had once cared for. He would never forgive himself for what he had done that helped lead us to this moment and I had just driven it home even more. He stopped though. I didn’t feel any calm just the red hot anger. It made me keep the poisoned arrows hurling at the Cullen family. “ and you Emmett. Have you come back to tease me more. Bored, are you, without the silly human to entertain you – obviously I wasn’t entertaining enough to keep around hey even though I thought of you as the big brother I had never had?”
I turned to Rosalie as she hissed at me. No one insults Emmet without earning her wrath. What could I say to her? She had never professed to care so what had she done wrong? “ At least you never pretended to care Rosalie. At least when you left you didn’t make a mockery of a friendship. There never was one between us”
I turned to attack the two remaining Cullens and felt the wind come out of my sail. I had had enough. What could I possibly say to two of the most amazing people I know. I couldn’t inflict any more hurt tonight.
“ Please stop Bella. This is not my family’s fault. They only left because I forced them to…..”

“ Do you know what Edward, I am finished. When you left me you told me to forget that you or any of your family ever existed. Well you have got what you wanted. As far as I am concerned none of you exist. Go away and leave me alone.” I turned away from all of their shocked faces and numbly placed myself in the car as I whispered “I don’t need ANY vampires in my life – NONE”

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Hi Jennifer. I agree. I have posted another chapter and am half way through the next one so hopefully it won't be too far away.
Cheers
Michelle
This is really good please write more
Chapter 5
EPOV
Appearances meant everything in our existence as vampires. We needed to fit into whichever role we had chosen for ourselves. We were used to it. We expected it and we were generally good at it but today was different. Today we had to face Bella’s wrath again in the confines of the school. Today we could all be exposed as vampires if Bella decided that she could not keep our secret any longer. That she was too furious with me to want to protect my family any longer. We had argued about this constantly since our confrontation with Bella the night before last. I didn’t believe she would expose us even in anger. Alice agreed but she was confused because she couldn’t see any kind of future for Bella at all. We were going into this day blind and it made us all nervous. Rosalie was sure Bella would lose it and let it slip. What could we do though? We had to be at school. We had to stay in Forks to protect Bella and that meant we had to slip back into our old lives – school included. We would deal with whatever happened. I just hoped it didn’t include anyone getting hurt.

“How are you feeling?” Alice asked me quietly “ How is the thirst?”

I grimaced at her. I had hunted ferociously last night in readiness for today. I knew that not only was I going to have to deal with the emotional aspect of seeing Bella again but I was also going to have to deal with the scent of her blood. I had been away from her for so long that it was going to be difficult to control that side of my nature. I knew I could do it. There was no way I would hurt my Bella but that didn’t mean it wasn’t going to be hard.

” It’s fine Alice. There shouldn’t be a problem. I could taste her scent while we were watching the house. Obviously I wasn’t as close to her as we will be today but at least it gave me a sense of what’s to come”

Watching Bella had been bittersweet. I had stayed right out of view but had never left the surrounds of her house. She was still so beautiful but there was a dragging sadness about all her movements that had broken my heart. She had made it easy to guard her anonymously. She never left the house. In fact she hardly ever left her room. I had contemplated what her actions could mean. Did she spend all of her time in the house? What had she been doing while I was gone? Too many things to know and no way to find out. It was frustrating not to read her mind and find out first hand what I wanted to know. All I could tell from my observations was that she was not herself and that had everything to do with my return.

Jasper was asking Alice if she could see what was going to happen today.
“ I can tell you that we are going to be the talk of the school. I can tell you that Mike Newton is going to have a go at Edward” she gave me a pointed stare and stated “ You need to control your anger with that one Edward. I can tell that Jasper is going to answer a question about WW2 but when it comes to Bella I see NOTHING”. Alice’s forehead was creased in concentration. “ I just don’t understand”.

We had pulled into the school car park. We looked at each other. I could hear both their thoughts and knew that everyone was on edge. If we could just get through today we would be one step closer in being able to help Bella. Everyone in the family was willing to do whatever it took and every one of them had a different reason for doing so. I silently thanked them for their support and then we got out of the car.

Instantly all the thoughts that I had been tuning out came to the forefront of my brain. “ You have to be kidding. Is that the Cullens?’ “ When did they get back to town?” “ Ooohh I wonder if Bella Swan knows they are back. Someone told me she had lost it when they left. Today has just got so much more interesting” “ God they are all still as good looking as ever – some people get all the breaks” The constant inane chatter was irritating for me but I needed to hear anything I could to determine how people, and ultimately Bella was going to take us being here. It was going to be a long day.

Jasper put his arm through Alices and we started to walk into the school office to arrange our classes. Rosalie and Emmett weren’t meant to be at school anymore but I knew they weren’t too far away in readiness of whatever happened today. Here we go I thought to myself. Let’s see what this day brings.

It wasn’t long before we saw her. We were leaving the office when Bella walked through the front door of the school. She was with Angela. That made me happy. At least I knew that Angela was a kind person and that she would support Bella in whatever happened. I saw Angela gasp when she saw us and then turn uncertainly to Bella. I heard her thoughts “ Oh no this is going to be so hard for Bella” She put her hand comfortingly on Bella’s arm and waited for Bella’s reaction at seeing us.

“ Hi Angela. Hi Bella” Alice smiled at the girls. Jasper and I joined in with our hellos. Angela responded politely. Bella just looked at us blankly and then automatically said hello. She didn’t flinch, she didn’t even stop her movements towards her first class. Angela had stopped, obviously in readiness for whatever Bella would do but she quickly raced back to her side when she realized that Bella was not going to stop or react in any sort of way at all. I watched as they walked away, Angela looking over her shoulder at us in confusion.

“ She said hi. That has to be good, right?” Alice queried. I could tell by the look on her face that she was hurting from yet another episode of rejection. Alice’s friendship with Bella had always been of great importance to her. I knew if it hadn’t been for our close family bond and her concern for Jasper she would never have agreed to leave Forks and Bella. She hadn’t wanted to lose her. Just another thing that I had to make up for!

Bella hadn’t ranted and raved at us. She hadn’t made a scene as Rosalie had suggested she would. She hadn’t reacted at all. I guess deep down I was hoping that she might actually display some sort of welcome towards me since she had got her anger out the other night. Realistically I knew that wouldn’t be the case though. Bella wasn’t a shallow person. She felt deeply and she was hurt. That was going to take more than one episode of accusations to dispel.

“ How was she coping?” I asked Jasper and then I looked at his face. More confusion.
“ She ah… she was…. there was nothing Edward. Nothing”
“ What do you mean? There had to be something Jasper”
“ I don’t know how or why. I just know that she was feeling nothing. Not anger, not confusion, not sadness, not anything. I could feel Angela’s emotions as clear as day and she was mostly feeling concern for Bella and frustration that we were back because she feels it will hurt Bella but Bella…. There was nothing!”

This was getting more worrying by the minute but there was no more time to dwell on this together. The bell went for our first class and seeing as this was our first day we had to keep up appearances and move to class – no matter what were feeling inside or how worried we were.

Appearances could be so inconvenient!
i need more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
wow..just started readin your fanfic and I beginning to love it
omg
poor bella
poor alice
love it
Thanks
I am writing more at the moment. Hopefully will have it up later tonight. I have found this chapter tricky since Bella's not showing much emotion about anything and all I really want her to do is leap into Edwards arms and be as romantic as possible. Wouldn't make much of a story though so I will keep going the way I am. LOL.
gah, there are plenty of storys where bella just jumps back into edwards arms. its about time that he had to work for her to take him back.
Chapter 6
EPOV
Lunch time Report – Bella was still silent to everyone sitting at our table. We couldn’t see her future, we couldn’t hear her thoughts ( not that that was unusual) and we couldn’t sense her emotions. Nothing was happening to give us any indication that she had even registered that we were here. I hadn’t had any classes with her but Alice had and apparently Bella had looked right through her when she saw her. It was surprising that Alice hadn’t pushed more but she said she felt that now wasn’t the time or place. I guess she was right.

We were sitting alone, of course, the three of us. No-one had approached us at all. No-one had politely enquired about our well being or where we had been. They were all very interested but they instinctively feared us. They didn’t know why but they did and that was probably for the best. Right at this moment though I wanted to be a normal human who could be over where she was – where my Bella was sitting and try and get some sort of response from her about what was going on. The only relief I could get from this whole thing was that she seemed to be reacting to everyone in the same way. Not just us. People were keen to hear what she had to say about the Cullens being back. I could hear their questions in their thoughts – some were vindictive ( humans so often like to feed on another’s pain) while some were just plain curious. She gave them no response worth noting and mostly they left it at that.

“ So Bella. What’s happening with the Cullen’s. You used to be so chummy with them” Jessica smirked as she waved our way. Stupid girl. I knew her thoughts for what they were. She knew about vindictiveness but I had to admit that the next person who spoke was the queen of vindictiveness. Lauren.

“ What’s up Bella. Thought you would be happy that your boyfriend was back. Oh that’s right… he left you didn’t he. Up and ran off when he realised that you weren’t good enough for him. You really should at least try and be friends Bella. It does look childish when you just ignore him altogether”

How dare she speak to Bella like that and put those foolish notions into her head. As if I was too good for Bella. As if I even came close to being the best there was for Bella. The three of us tried to look nonchalant as we pretended to eat but we were all so aware of what Bella would do or say in response to this cattiness that it was hard to relax into our role. Give it to her Bella. Don’t take that lying down. Say something, do something, anything! We were disappointed. She glanced our way but she might have well be looking through a window at nothing. She just nodded at the two girls. No response.
I got up to walk over to the trash can. Biology was next and I knew that Bella would have to respond to me in some way there. I was keen to get this over and done with. Her behavior was perplexing and frustrating. All I really wanted to do was grab her and hold her and never let her go again. It was hard to be so close and yet not have any right to feel her against me or have her touch me tenderly as she used to. How stupid was I to let her go. This was an agony that I could blame no one for except myself.

“ Remember what I said this morning” Alice ordered as I got up.

She needn’t have warned me. I knew that Mike was about to have his go at me. I could read his thoughts clearly and he was aching to take his frustrations at not being able to get Bella while we were gone, out on me. An opportunity to big note himself and impress the audience we were sure to gather was upon him and he wasn’t going to miss his chance. One good thing came out of his insipid thoughts though – Bella hadn’t turned to him for comfort while I was gone. I don’t think I could have stood knowing that he had even so much as touched her. Lucky for him.

“ So Cullen. Thought you would come back and have another go at the girls of Forks did you?” Mike sneered at me. The girls of Forks? I looked at Bella’s blank face. The only girl I had ever had an interest in was sitting close by me but might as well be a world away for all the interest she was showing.
“ No one wants you here, particularly not Bella. You’ve done enough damage and we have been only so happy to pick up the pieces” he stated snidely. So that was why Alice was worried about my reaction. His innuendo was making me see red. My fists clenched and I had to control myself so that I didn’t leap for his throat and make him sorry that he had even made such a suggestion. Instead I stared at Mike threateningly until he looked away in discomfit. I saw fear flit across his face before I realized that Angela was speaking.

“ Mike I don’t think you should be speaking for Bella. Whatever has happened between Bella and Edward is between them and they can sort it out themselves”. She looked at Bella for a response. Nothing. Angela sighed and I took the opportunity to walk away from a volatile situation before I could no longer restrain myself from either decking Mike or picking Bella up to whisk her away and force her to wake up from her listlessness. Neither would do me any good.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and whipped around quickly. My emotions were obviously in overdrive because I was kind of expecting it to be Bella. Of course it wasn’t. Jasper stood there and I knew that he was using his calming influence on me. “ Good luck Edward. Concentrate on the things that are worth it”

I nodded and then made my way to Biology and to an unknown conversation with the person I loved.

She came in last as I was hoping she would. It meant that she had no choice but to sit next to me. I remembered the first time I had seen her in exactly the same spot. She had made me want her then and it was no different now. Her blood was still singing to me and it made my throat burn, but more than anything I wanted her to look up at me with those beautiful chocolate eyes so that I could see the Bella that I had been missing all these months. She didn’t look at me so I couldn’t lose myself in those eyes. She placed her hair down as a shield between us exactly the way she had when she had thought I had hated her in the beginning. I groaned inwardly. I had put her through so much right from the beginning and it was like I was being punished now. Oh well I could deal with the punishment – I felt that it was owed to me but what I couldn’t stand was seeing Bella lose herself because of my selfishness.

“ Bella I know that you are upset with me but we really need to talk.” She looked up and through me. It appeared that she was concentrating on something that she couldn’t quite understand. She gave up and looked back down at her textbook as if there was more meaning there for her than there was with me.

“ Bella please….” I rested my hand on her arm lightly. I felt her quick intake of breath and for a brief moment she looked at me in alarm. Then almost instantaneously I saw the shutters go up across her features and I knew that she had closed herself off from me again and also, I was beginning to realize, from the world.

We spent the entire Biology lesson in silence - the two of us . It wasn’t a comfortable silence. It was a heartbreakingly sad silence. It was a silence where I had to face that my past decisions had caused much more grief than I had ever imagined. It was a silence where I had to contemplate the possibility of never regaining Bella’s trust and love. The future seemed very empty at this moment and I just did not know what to do.
Have added a couple more chapters. I am about to go read your fanfic. Have been enjoying it. Thanks.
Loved it!
Thanks Sarah. I hope you like the rest.
Cheers
michelle

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