The Twilight Saga

Edward returns to Forks to fight for a hurt and angry Bella. Not such an easy thing to do in this story. This is set after the Cullens have been away for quite a few months but before Bella makes the decision to cliff dive. I hope you enjoy the differences. A huge thankyou to Shellym127 and Wyldfyre for my wonderful banners.

 Chapter One (BPOV)                 Chapter Two (BPOV)  
Chapter Three ( BPOV)               Chapter Four ( APOV)  
Chapter Five (EPOV)                  Chapter Six (EPOV)  
Chapter Seven (EPOV)               Chapter Eight (BPOV)  
Chapter Nine (APOV)                 Chapter Ten (EPOV)  
Chapter Thirty One (APOV) - Page 50 Chapter Thirty Two (BPOV) - Page 53 Chapter Thirty Three (EPOV) - Page 57 Chapter Thirty Four (BPOV) - Page 60
Chapter Thirty Five (EPOV) - Page 65
Chapter Thirty Six (EPOV) - Page 68
Chapter Thirty Seven (BPOV) - Page 71
Chapter Thirty Eight (APOV) - Page 74

Chapter One
The small pockets of warmth and hope that had been slowly finding their way into my damaged soul were threatening to disappear and it left me with a feeling of despair. Just when I thought that I had found some kind of reasonable existence – even a small tinge of happiness – I could feel that it was slipping away. Why did Jacob, my loving, fun, happy source of sunshine have to confuse our friendship for something more? Why couldn’t we just keep being friends and continue healing the broken pieces of my soul one small piece at a time through the warmth he had managed to bring to my life. Selfish, selfish. I knew it for what it was. I was being remarkably selfish to put him through this. To make him keep his distance at the same time as trying to pull his warmth into my very being. I was being unfair. He was being accepting. I should leave him alone but I really wasn’t sure that I could. I needed him to get me through this. It was only with him that I felt even remotely like myself – a shadow for sure but at least it was something beyond that awful place I was at when the other one left. I started to see the other’s face but I pulled myself away from that image and concentrated on Jacob, a different type of pain but somehow something less confronting. What choice was I going to make here? Neither choice would help. I would never love Jacob the way he wanted. Who am I kidding, I would never love anyone the way I should. I was damaged in that respect. I had known love and it had been ripped away. The darkness threatened to engulf me again. Concentrate - we are not thinking about that appalling time. Jacob. Yes Jacob. He knew that I couldn’t love him that way but he felt it might happen in time if I just let it. My choices could lead to even more heartache for him and I knew what that was like. Was I willing to put him through the emotional void I had experienced just so I could start to feel better myself? I had never been a selfish person. I had always been the one to look after others but……. I needed help and he was the only one who could give it.

“Bella. Are you home?” The front door slammed as Charlie entered the house. I quickly studied myself in the mirror. Not that I really cared what I looked like but I didn’t want Charlie to see that I had been crying again. It would break his heart if he thought that I was returning to that awful place I was at a few months ago. He was happy that I had finally managed to pull myself out of that hole and I was pretty sure that he was thanking Jacob for that in his own head. He knew I had a long way to go but I didn’t want to give him even an inkling that I could fall back into that abyss with the slightest provocation. It would hurt him. I sighed. There was always someone for me to hurt.

“Here dad”. I called as I made my way downstairs.
“ How was your day? Did you have fun with Jacob?” he enquired while he studied my face.
I pulled my face into a calm mask and answered the way I knew he wanted. “ Sure, we always have a good time together. We just hung out. You know how it is dad.”
“ When are you seeing him again?” Subtle Charlie. Why don’t you just ask me when are we going to get married and have kids so that you can be sure that I won’t completely lose it again.
“ Um. Not so sure. We are both pretty busy from here on in. You know school going back and all. I am sure it will be soon though” I added because I saw his face show a small sign of panic. “ Have to go dad the grocery store is calling or we won’t have any food. See ya.” I made a dash for the door before he could continue with the discussion and lead me to confess that not all was right between Jacob and I. It wasn’t something that I wanted to face.

Chapter Two
Life was full of mundane everyday routines and this was one of them. Grocery shopping. Thank goodness for the mundane. It let me look like I was functioning without really having to think about what was going on in all the other parts of my life. It made people think that I was surviving when all I wanted to really do was curl up into a ball and……. Not an option I told myself firmly. You are not the only person that is impacted by your choices. Charlie, Renee, Jacob, Angela. All people I loved and wanted to protect. One step in front of the other. Slowly but surely things would get better.

I had finished the shopping and was heading out to the carpark. I looked up to see that the shadows were deepening and that twilight was upon us. Twilight was his favourite time. I shuddered and deliberately made my thoughts wander from that potentially destructive course of images. When would this stop. I sighed for the umpteenth time and started to put the groceries in the boot of the car.

“ Bella”. I closed my eyes tightly. Why on earth was I hearing his voice. I was putting groceries in the car for god’s sake. I wasn’t doing anything dangerous that could lead me to hearing his voice. I wasn’t trying to be reckless on one of the motorbikes that Jacob had fixed for me. I wasn’t putting myself into any danger by talking to strange men in the middle of a quiet Port Angeles street. There wasn’t anything remotely threatening in what I was doing at all. I chose to ignore it and kept packing.

“ Ah excuse me Bella”. Now I know I am going mad. His voice was never pleasant when he spoke to me in my mind. He was always angry at me for what I was doing. What a joke. My mind obviously wanted to believe that he cared when I put myself in danger even though I knew that there was nothing further from the truth. This was different though. This was that beautiful sing song voice that I had cast from my mind when he had told me he didn’t love me anymore. When he had told me that he no longer existed. Why on earth was I hearing it now?

I slowly turned around to see what was going on. I gasped and instantly felt a fierce joy overcome me. It was instantly rebuffed however as my mind began to register what was happening in front of me. This could not be real. Edward stood about two metres in front of me, flanked by his family. Every single one of them. How could that be? Why on earth were they all here in front of me in a carpark of all places. Edward looked nervous. Alice looked elated. Jasper was worried. Emmett was smirking. Rosalie looked bored. Carlisle and Esme stood a little behind. It seemed like ages before anyone spoke. I couldn’t even grasp if this was reality or some sick fantasy. I had pushed all these people to the bottom of my subconscious in the hope of gaining some semblance of normality. Yet here they were looking as real as uniquely beautiful people can look.

I felt my hands reach across my stomach as if to protect myself. I hugged myself fiercely. This was not happening. This could not happen now. Please, please leave me alone I yelled to myself silently.

“ Bella. we were um….. that is Bella we were hoping……..” His voice trailed off as I stared at him coldly. I watched as he slumped slightly and turned to Alice for help.

Alice placed her hand on his arm and turned to me smiling. “ Hi Bella. We are so happy to see you”
Was she joking? What were they doing? Happy to see me? I had never heard anything so absurd in my life.
Alice came towards me. ‘She is going to hug you.’ my inner voice yelled at me and I reflexively placed my hands up to ward her off. I saw her stricken face as she quickly moved back to her spot next to Edward without touching me at all. Jasper grasped her hand and I knew that he was using his gift to help her. I didn’t care. I was beginning to spiral out of control. I could feel it. I needed to get out of here.

I turned back to the car and slammed the boot closed with as much ferocity as I could manage. My mind was still yelling at me to get out of there. I moved towards the car door. I still had not said a single word and I could still feel seven pairs of eyes staring uncertainly at my back.

“ Please Bella. Don’t go”. His voice was pleading. There was something there but I couldn’t quite get what it was. I was too full of my own anguish that I didn’t want to see what he was trying to do. “ I am so sorry Bella. I truly am…
“ You. Are. Sorry.” I spat out at him. He looked like I had slapped him across the face but he remained calm and tried again.
“ Yes Bella. I am sorry. I should never have left you like that. I have been….”

I could feel the red hot emotion of anger come over me. I couldn’t think straight. All I knew was that the one that had hurt me the most , the one that had ripped my heart out and left me to fend for myself was standing in front of me saying that he was sorry. What did he want from me? Hadn’t he hurt me enough?
“ You left me Edward. You made me think that you loved me and then you just decided that I wasn’t good enough for you and you…. left…. me. Do you think I care that you are SORRY. I DO NOT CARE” I yelled at him furiously and then realized where I was. The carpark. I made my voice softer but kept the anger in it. There was way too much pain involved to just let this go. “ You made your choice Edward. You made my choice for me. Not only did you take yourself away from me… you took everyone.” I glared at the whole family. Oh god how I had loved this family but now all I felt for them was anger. “ Not one of you cared enough about me to check that I was alright. Not one of you tried to keep contact”. I looked at Alice as I said this and I saw her cringe and Jaspers hand tighten on hers.

“ I’m sorry Bella” Alice moaned “ I know it seems like we didn’t care but of course we did. We just had to do the right thing”
“ The right thing, the right thing. Are you serious. You were my best friend. I loved you like a sister. I would never EVER TURN MY BACK on you” I was becoming hysterical. “ You are as bad as him. You LEFT me”
“ We did it to protect you Bella” Alice stammered. “ We were thinking of you”
“ How could going away possibly protect me Alice. How could leaving me to face the others possibly help me. Laurent, Victoria and any other blood drinking mythical creature that feels that I am their personal magnet. It’s neverending. Every sound, every shadow. Constant fear and NOONE to protect me. “ My breathing was becoming quicker and I could feel the shock oozing out of every one of them. I didn’t care. “ How was leaving the right thing to do when I couldn’t feel or breath for god knows how long?”
I caught the significant look that Alice gave Jasper and I turned on him ferociously. “ DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT CALMING ME DOWN. You have no right. Let me be. Let me feel what I am feeling Not what you want me to feel. You owe me that Jasper” Another stab in the heart for someone I had once cared for. He would never forgive himself for what he had done that helped lead us to this moment and I had just driven it home even more. He stopped though. I didn’t feel any calm just the red hot anger. It made me keep the poisoned arrows hurling at the Cullen family. “ and you Emmett. Have you come back to tease me more. Bored, are you, without the silly human to entertain you – obviously I wasn’t entertaining enough to keep around hey even though I thought of you as the big brother I had never had?”
I turned to Rosalie as she hissed at me. No one insults Emmet without earning her wrath. What could I say to her? She had never professed to care so what had she done wrong? “ At least you never pretended to care Rosalie. At least when you left you didn’t make a mockery of a friendship. There never was one between us”
I turned to attack the two remaining Cullens and felt the wind come out of my sail. I had had enough. What could I possibly say to two of the most amazing people I know. I couldn’t inflict any more hurt tonight.
“ Please stop Bella. This is not my family’s fault. They only left because I forced them to…..”

“ Do you know what Edward, I am finished. When you left me you told me to forget that you or any of your family ever existed. Well you have got what you wanted. As far as I am concerned none of you exist. Go away and leave me alone.” I turned away from all of their shocked faces and numbly placed myself in the car as I whispered “I don’t need ANY vampires in my life – NONE”

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Replies to This Discussion

i. need. more. please??
Thanks to all of you for saying nice things!
I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't wait for more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I love it. Please continue
I just started to read your story and cant wait for more!!!!
This was intense!
Please alert me when you post, please please!!!
Well done with this one. You covered up the point that Jacob is the friend and Edward is the souk mate. I can't wait to read chapter 16!
I am going to put Chapter 16 up tonight as I am at a course all day tomorrow and won't get the time. Nope you like it. Glad I have made it clear who Bella loves. He is the only one for her!!!
huh intersetin. wat's gonna happen next?
Chapter 16

Alice was agitated. I could sense it as soon as I scuttled into the warmth of her car. I peered at Jasper but he seemed calm enough so whatever was bothering her couldn’t be too bad. Her greeting was distracted but she smiled at me so I decided to just leave her to whatever thoughts were causing her worry. She would let me know when she was ready.

“ Ready for another day of big bad wolf stories Bella?” Jasper asked to divert my attention away from Alice. I grimaced. I was as ready for that as I was ready to dance the tango in front of the whole school. Now that would be a sight. Unco-ordinated Bella traipsing and, of course, tripping around on the dance floor. The thought made me smile slightly. “Only if I can dress up as Little Red Riding Hood” I quipped back. He laughed softly at my joke but there was no response from Alice. Ok. Something was definitely going on here.

We pulled into the car park of the school and Alice killed the engine. She turned towards me with a serious look on her face and took a deep breath. “ There is something I need to tell you Bella. I need to tell you …..” In that moment I noticed the silver volvo pulling into the car spot a few cars away from us. I gasped in shock and finished her sentence for her. “ that Edward is back”. She nodded.

All kinds of emotions bombarded me. Anxiety, joy, shock, agitation, anger, excitement and relief. All too much to take in at once so I centered on my main concern.

“ Is he ok?” I asked. She looked at me as if I was mad and said through gritted teeth. “ Yes he is ok. He hasn’t been here to support you Bella and you are still concerned for him. He doesn’t deserve that you know”

“ What’s wrong Alice. Why didn’t he come to school with you?” and then I realized. He hadn’t travelled with them because it meant he had to be with me too. So that was how it was going to be. I cringed at the thought.

“ Alice and Edward are having a little…. disagreement should we say. They’ll sort it out. They always do.” Jasper threw over his shoulder at a fuming Alice as he headed to greet his brother.

“ Does he really despise me that much” I questioned Alice softly. Edward had got out of his car and glanced our way but then started talking to Jasper. He was so incredibly beautiful that it was hard not to cross the few metres between us and beg him to hold me and never let go.

“ He doesn’t despise you Bella. He is just being an idiot.” She shook her head in frustration.
We walked over to the boys. With each step that brought us closer I felt my stomach roll with nerves. I hadn’t expected him to be here. I didn’t know what to say.

Edward seemed to be studying me steadily as we approached. He appeared to have found some answer he was searching for and visibly relaxed. “Morning Bella. It is good to see that you are healed. I am glad.” He smiled at me crookedly and my heart skipped a beat. He didn’t give me the opportunity to respond though as he immediately turned away saying he had to go and he would see us later. My mouth was open as I stared after him. He was getting way too good with this leaving me in the lurch business. What was his problem?

Alice stared daggers at his retreating back and I knew she was throwing insults at him silently. He would hear every one of them but he didn’t falter at all. He just kept striding towards the school building. I wished he could hear my thoughts because there were a few things I would like to say too.

“ He’ll keep” Alice muttered threateningly as we headed towards our classes. Jasper smirked but kissed her tenderly before he loped through his first class’s door. We continued down the hall. “You’re being a bit hard on him aren’t you?” I asked. “Nope. Someone has to make him realise just how pig headed he is being and apparently that’s got to me. You certainly aren’t going to make him feel bad.”

“ You want me to make him feel bad?” I asked incredulously. “ I’ve done nothing but make him feel bad. I wouldn’t speak to him when you first got back, I made him risk his life by jumping off a cliff and then having to face the wolves because of that. I think I’ve made him feel bad enough Alice”

“ Not nearly. He left you Bella – twice. The first time I could kind of understand but not this time. He is being a selfish prat and that is not the brother I know.”

There was no more time for this discussion. It would have to wait and I was kind of glad. I didn’t want to dwell on my own feelings let alone Alice’s anger. Edward was back and I was going to have to face him within a matter of hours. Could I do it?

I found that I could. Third period came around and with it came Biology. I entered the classroom half expecting him not to be there but he was sitting in his usual space and I had no choice but to approach him as confidently as I could. He nodded at me but then gave his attention to his textbook. I remained silent as I sat down. He had moved his seat away from mine so that there could obviously be no contact. It made no difference. The air was charged with electricity. I was compelled to reach across and just touch him. My hand stayed where it was. In the silence I just looked. Everything about him was so perfect. His sensual lips that had once caressed mine with so much controlled passion. His shapely hands that used to trace lines of fire when he touched me gently. His tousled bronze hair falling over his forehead making me want to run my hands through it to feel it’s softness. Get a grip Bella. Those memories weren’t helping. I threw caution to the wind and spoke first.

“So are we not going to talk?” He turned to me and the impact of his warm amber eyes looking into mine made me literally want to drown in their depths. I wanted to reach out and erase the lines that his frown were leaving between them. “What do you want to talk about Bella?”

“ Oh I don’t know. How I am? How you are? Something like that. Anything really.” I answered somewhat sarcastically.
“ I know how you are. Carlisle kept me updated every day.” He looked me up and down and I felt the inevitable blush rise into my face. “ I can see that you are fine as well. As for how I am. That is inconsequential.”

Inconsequential. What did he mean? His well being was important to me. “Well where have you been?”

“ Here and there.” He sighed as if struggling with himself. “ Look I had to leave for a while so that I could keep my promise to you. You didn’t want me to hurt your dog friend and the only way I was going to be able to keep that promise was being as far as possible away from him. I am in better control now” His words sent a thrill of joy through me. He did care. The joy was instantly quelled with his next words. “ Bella. Nothing has changed. The reasons for me leaving in the first place are still there. You are better off without me in your life. Unfortunately there are reasons that I have to be here so we will just have to deal with it. I will get on with my life and you can get on with yours. Ok?”

So he was letting me know that his feelings had not changed. He still didn’t love me and he was here under sufferance. I felt sick to my stomach and knew I had to get out of there quickly. “ I’ve got your message plain and clear Edward Cullen. I won’t interfere in your life again. That’s a given.”I spat out at him. I got up and excused myself from class with a flimsy excuse that I was unwell to the teacher. I did not look back. Escape was my only goal.
OMG. I need to read the next one soon. That was great. Oh Edward is going to feel alot of pain as she said,
“ I’ve got your message plain and clear Edward Cullen. I won’t interfere in your life again. That’s a given."
When will you post the next one?
Not sure about when the next one will be up. It's in APOV and gives a better insight into what Edward is thinking I hope. Will get it up as soon as I am completely happy with it. ( or as happy as I can be. ha)
plz plz keep writing


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