The Twilight Saga

Edward returns to Forks to fight for a hurt and angry Bella. Not such an easy thing to do in this story. This is set after the Cullens have been away for quite a few months but before Bella makes the decision to cliff dive. I hope you enjoy the differences. A huge thankyou to Shellym127 and Wyldfyre for my wonderful banners.

 Chapter One (BPOV)                 Chapter Two (BPOV)  
Chapter Three ( BPOV)               Chapter Four ( APOV)  
Chapter Five (EPOV)                  Chapter Six (EPOV)  
Chapter Seven (EPOV)               Chapter Eight (BPOV)  
Chapter Nine (APOV)                 Chapter Ten (EPOV)  
Chapter Thirty One (APOV) - Page 50 Chapter Thirty Two (BPOV) - Page 53 Chapter Thirty Three (EPOV) - Page 57 Chapter Thirty Four (BPOV) - Page 60
Chapter Thirty Five (EPOV) - Page 65
Chapter Thirty Six (EPOV) - Page 68
Chapter Thirty Seven (BPOV) - Page 71
Chapter Thirty Eight (APOV) - Page 74

Chapter One
The small pockets of warmth and hope that had been slowly finding their way into my damaged soul were threatening to disappear and it left me with a feeling of despair. Just when I thought that I had found some kind of reasonable existence – even a small tinge of happiness – I could feel that it was slipping away. Why did Jacob, my loving, fun, happy source of sunshine have to confuse our friendship for something more? Why couldn’t we just keep being friends and continue healing the broken pieces of my soul one small piece at a time through the warmth he had managed to bring to my life. Selfish, selfish. I knew it for what it was. I was being remarkably selfish to put him through this. To make him keep his distance at the same time as trying to pull his warmth into my very being. I was being unfair. He was being accepting. I should leave him alone but I really wasn’t sure that I could. I needed him to get me through this. It was only with him that I felt even remotely like myself – a shadow for sure but at least it was something beyond that awful place I was at when the other one left. I started to see the other’s face but I pulled myself away from that image and concentrated on Jacob, a different type of pain but somehow something less confronting. What choice was I going to make here? Neither choice would help. I would never love Jacob the way he wanted. Who am I kidding, I would never love anyone the way I should. I was damaged in that respect. I had known love and it had been ripped away. The darkness threatened to engulf me again. Concentrate - we are not thinking about that appalling time. Jacob. Yes Jacob. He knew that I couldn’t love him that way but he felt it might happen in time if I just let it. My choices could lead to even more heartache for him and I knew what that was like. Was I willing to put him through the emotional void I had experienced just so I could start to feel better myself? I had never been a selfish person. I had always been the one to look after others but……. I needed help and he was the only one who could give it.

“Bella. Are you home?” The front door slammed as Charlie entered the house. I quickly studied myself in the mirror. Not that I really cared what I looked like but I didn’t want Charlie to see that I had been crying again. It would break his heart if he thought that I was returning to that awful place I was at a few months ago. He was happy that I had finally managed to pull myself out of that hole and I was pretty sure that he was thanking Jacob for that in his own head. He knew I had a long way to go but I didn’t want to give him even an inkling that I could fall back into that abyss with the slightest provocation. It would hurt him. I sighed. There was always someone for me to hurt.

“Here dad”. I called as I made my way downstairs.
“ How was your day? Did you have fun with Jacob?” he enquired while he studied my face.
I pulled my face into a calm mask and answered the way I knew he wanted. “ Sure, we always have a good time together. We just hung out. You know how it is dad.”
“ When are you seeing him again?” Subtle Charlie. Why don’t you just ask me when are we going to get married and have kids so that you can be sure that I won’t completely lose it again.
“ Um. Not so sure. We are both pretty busy from here on in. You know school going back and all. I am sure it will be soon though” I added because I saw his face show a small sign of panic. “ Have to go dad the grocery store is calling or we won’t have any food. See ya.” I made a dash for the door before he could continue with the discussion and lead me to confess that not all was right between Jacob and I. It wasn’t something that I wanted to face.

Chapter Two
Life was full of mundane everyday routines and this was one of them. Grocery shopping. Thank goodness for the mundane. It let me look like I was functioning without really having to think about what was going on in all the other parts of my life. It made people think that I was surviving when all I wanted to really do was curl up into a ball and……. Not an option I told myself firmly. You are not the only person that is impacted by your choices. Charlie, Renee, Jacob, Angela. All people I loved and wanted to protect. One step in front of the other. Slowly but surely things would get better.

I had finished the shopping and was heading out to the carpark. I looked up to see that the shadows were deepening and that twilight was upon us. Twilight was his favourite time. I shuddered and deliberately made my thoughts wander from that potentially destructive course of images. When would this stop. I sighed for the umpteenth time and started to put the groceries in the boot of the car.

“ Bella”. I closed my eyes tightly. Why on earth was I hearing his voice. I was putting groceries in the car for god’s sake. I wasn’t doing anything dangerous that could lead me to hearing his voice. I wasn’t trying to be reckless on one of the motorbikes that Jacob had fixed for me. I wasn’t putting myself into any danger by talking to strange men in the middle of a quiet Port Angeles street. There wasn’t anything remotely threatening in what I was doing at all. I chose to ignore it and kept packing.

“ Ah excuse me Bella”. Now I know I am going mad. His voice was never pleasant when he spoke to me in my mind. He was always angry at me for what I was doing. What a joke. My mind obviously wanted to believe that he cared when I put myself in danger even though I knew that there was nothing further from the truth. This was different though. This was that beautiful sing song voice that I had cast from my mind when he had told me he didn’t love me anymore. When he had told me that he no longer existed. Why on earth was I hearing it now?

I slowly turned around to see what was going on. I gasped and instantly felt a fierce joy overcome me. It was instantly rebuffed however as my mind began to register what was happening in front of me. This could not be real. Edward stood about two metres in front of me, flanked by his family. Every single one of them. How could that be? Why on earth were they all here in front of me in a carpark of all places. Edward looked nervous. Alice looked elated. Jasper was worried. Emmett was smirking. Rosalie looked bored. Carlisle and Esme stood a little behind. It seemed like ages before anyone spoke. I couldn’t even grasp if this was reality or some sick fantasy. I had pushed all these people to the bottom of my subconscious in the hope of gaining some semblance of normality. Yet here they were looking as real as uniquely beautiful people can look.

I felt my hands reach across my stomach as if to protect myself. I hugged myself fiercely. This was not happening. This could not happen now. Please, please leave me alone I yelled to myself silently.

“ Bella. we were um….. that is Bella we were hoping……..” His voice trailed off as I stared at him coldly. I watched as he slumped slightly and turned to Alice for help.

Alice placed her hand on his arm and turned to me smiling. “ Hi Bella. We are so happy to see you”
Was she joking? What were they doing? Happy to see me? I had never heard anything so absurd in my life.
Alice came towards me. ‘She is going to hug you.’ my inner voice yelled at me and I reflexively placed my hands up to ward her off. I saw her stricken face as she quickly moved back to her spot next to Edward without touching me at all. Jasper grasped her hand and I knew that he was using his gift to help her. I didn’t care. I was beginning to spiral out of control. I could feel it. I needed to get out of here.

I turned back to the car and slammed the boot closed with as much ferocity as I could manage. My mind was still yelling at me to get out of there. I moved towards the car door. I still had not said a single word and I could still feel seven pairs of eyes staring uncertainly at my back.

“ Please Bella. Don’t go”. His voice was pleading. There was something there but I couldn’t quite get what it was. I was too full of my own anguish that I didn’t want to see what he was trying to do. “ I am so sorry Bella. I truly am…
“ You. Are. Sorry.” I spat out at him. He looked like I had slapped him across the face but he remained calm and tried again.
“ Yes Bella. I am sorry. I should never have left you like that. I have been….”

I could feel the red hot emotion of anger come over me. I couldn’t think straight. All I knew was that the one that had hurt me the most , the one that had ripped my heart out and left me to fend for myself was standing in front of me saying that he was sorry. What did he want from me? Hadn’t he hurt me enough?
“ You left me Edward. You made me think that you loved me and then you just decided that I wasn’t good enough for you and you…. left…. me. Do you think I care that you are SORRY. I DO NOT CARE” I yelled at him furiously and then realized where I was. The carpark. I made my voice softer but kept the anger in it. There was way too much pain involved to just let this go. “ You made your choice Edward. You made my choice for me. Not only did you take yourself away from me… you took everyone.” I glared at the whole family. Oh god how I had loved this family but now all I felt for them was anger. “ Not one of you cared enough about me to check that I was alright. Not one of you tried to keep contact”. I looked at Alice as I said this and I saw her cringe and Jaspers hand tighten on hers.

“ I’m sorry Bella” Alice moaned “ I know it seems like we didn’t care but of course we did. We just had to do the right thing”
“ The right thing, the right thing. Are you serious. You were my best friend. I loved you like a sister. I would never EVER TURN MY BACK on you” I was becoming hysterical. “ You are as bad as him. You LEFT me”
“ We did it to protect you Bella” Alice stammered. “ We were thinking of you”
“ How could going away possibly protect me Alice. How could leaving me to face the others possibly help me. Laurent, Victoria and any other blood drinking mythical creature that feels that I am their personal magnet. It’s neverending. Every sound, every shadow. Constant fear and NOONE to protect me. “ My breathing was becoming quicker and I could feel the shock oozing out of every one of them. I didn’t care. “ How was leaving the right thing to do when I couldn’t feel or breath for god knows how long?”
I caught the significant look that Alice gave Jasper and I turned on him ferociously. “ DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT CALMING ME DOWN. You have no right. Let me be. Let me feel what I am feeling Not what you want me to feel. You owe me that Jasper” Another stab in the heart for someone I had once cared for. He would never forgive himself for what he had done that helped lead us to this moment and I had just driven it home even more. He stopped though. I didn’t feel any calm just the red hot anger. It made me keep the poisoned arrows hurling at the Cullen family. “ and you Emmett. Have you come back to tease me more. Bored, are you, without the silly human to entertain you – obviously I wasn’t entertaining enough to keep around hey even though I thought of you as the big brother I had never had?”
I turned to Rosalie as she hissed at me. No one insults Emmet without earning her wrath. What could I say to her? She had never professed to care so what had she done wrong? “ At least you never pretended to care Rosalie. At least when you left you didn’t make a mockery of a friendship. There never was one between us”
I turned to attack the two remaining Cullens and felt the wind come out of my sail. I had had enough. What could I possibly say to two of the most amazing people I know. I couldn’t inflict any more hurt tonight.
“ Please stop Bella. This is not my family’s fault. They only left because I forced them to…..”

“ Do you know what Edward, I am finished. When you left me you told me to forget that you or any of your family ever existed. Well you have got what you wanted. As far as I am concerned none of you exist. Go away and leave me alone.” I turned away from all of their shocked faces and numbly placed myself in the car as I whispered “I don’t need ANY vampires in my life – NONE”

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Replies to This Discussion

Tanya will make her moves but will Edward respond???? What's your gut feeling?
Sorry to everyone who is unhappy about the addition of Tanya but she isn't all bad.

Monique looking forward to your next chapter of Alice's POV. I keep checking in hope. :)
No I don't think Tanya is all that bad but you know how people change the characters personalities in their fanfics. I wasn't sure if you wrote Tanya as the bad girl. I really hope it's not like that. My gut feeling is telling me that Edward will reject her in a gentlemanly manner, thats just Edward.

Aww thankyou, I will be posting Part 14 tonight!
Excellent story :)
really really good...
i hope Tanya makes him c sense
love it!
Are you kidding me, Edward has been sitting next to her for days and has not talked to her????
This is getting ridiculous, Edward go TALK to her!!
Take her in your arms, kiss her and say the three most important words "I love you"
Such an angst-filled ass!!!
Tanya better not do any thing she might be sorry about!
Chapter 20

Alice was a schemer. I had no doubt about that. She did everything possible to pack my days full of activities and conversations so that I had no time to dwell on my loss. I knew that she had become the fundraising queen solely to divert my attention from her brother and I loved her for it, even if it was not something I would normally go out of my way to do. Nothing much was normal about my life these days anyway so I went with the flow. It made me happy that Alice made such an effort to involve Angela in the arrangements. I realized just how good a friend Angela had become to me while the others had ridiculed my odd behaviour during Edward’s disappearing act. I needed to let her know more often through my actions how much she meant to me. This fundraising event seemed to make her feel happy and worthy. That was enough for me to go against my initial rejection of being involved. Two people I loved wanted to do it so I was along for the ride. Besides it was near impossible to go against Alice when she had her mind set on something. I just hoped they didn’t expect me to dance on the night. That was not going to happen.

Besides helping with the organization of a major event in the town of Forks my school days went by in much the same way as they usually did. Of course that didn’t include Biology. Biology was my dream and my nightmare all rolled up in one. This was the only time that I was up close with Edward and even though we never spoke it was clear to me that although he didn’t want me, that I definitely still wanted him. Every charged moment sitting next to him in that classroom made me realize just how much I had had when we were together and how much I had lost for my future. Alice always had Jasper on hand after those lessons so that he calmed me the instant I was out into the corridor. I often saw Alice raise her eyebrows at Edward as he passed us. Once I even heard him mutter angrily “ Give it a rest.” And I wondered if he was saying that to me or in response to a silent conversation that Alice was having with him. I tried not to care.

My afternoon ritual of trying to ring Jacob and get him to speak to me also was a constant source of frustration. Billy would answer and he would always tell me that Jacob was not there to speak to me. We always ended the conversation with him promising to give Jacob my message and that hopefully he would get back to me. We both knew that this would not happen. Jacob’s stubbornness was wearing thin and I knew that I was going to have to take matter into my own hands to restore our friendship. The difficulty was that I knew I was under constant surveillance from the Cullens. There was no way any of them would let me head down to La Push on my own to mend fences with Jacob. They would be too concerned for my safety. I was going to have to talk one of them into letting me go. I didn’t like my chances.

The afternoon I chose to broach the subject with Alice did not start off well. Angela, Alice and I were walking along sharing a conversation about the type of music we should have at the fundraiser when I noticed that some kind of excitement was taking place around me. The boys were in a jitter and the girls seemed in awe. I looked around to see what was happening when I noticed the most beautiful girl I had ever seen standing nonchalantly against a car. My heart sank. It was Edward’s car. A quick intake of breath beside me brought my attention back to my friends but they also were staring at the car and therefore the girl. Alice looked angry and Angela looked apologetic. I then noticed Edward walking quickly towards his car whilst at the same time running his hand through his hair in agitation. Why would he be doing that? He was walking towards a goddess and he looked….. uncomfortable. Then it dawned on me. He probably just wanted to get her away from all the staring eyes and wistful thoughts that he would no doubt be hearing from the boys around us. I realized that I had forgotten to breath and let the air come out in a quick woosh. This was the reason he wanted us to lead our separate lives. He had well and truly moved on. How could I have ever competed against that beauty, that obvious strength, that grace? My mind was in turmoil as I watched him open the door to let her into his car. Lauren chose that precise moment to come past and gloatingly comment “ No wonder he didn’t want you when that was available.” Alice stared at her murderously and Lauren quickened her pace away from us. She was right though. Edward had so much more than me available to him. It made sense.

“ Jasper. Edward would like some company don’t you think?” Alice stated. I jumped slightly as I hadn’t even realized that Jasper was near us. Jasper nodded as usual and walked briskly towards the car. I was pretty sure that Edward would not want company right now but I was kind of glad that Jasper was with them.

“ Are you ok Bella,” Angela was asking quietly.

“ Of course Angela. Everything is just fine.” I couldn’t help but notice the small shake in my voice but I gave myself a break over that one. It was nothing compared to the internal yelling that was taking place. I had covered that well.

“ Well if you are sure I guess I will get going. I have some errands to do for mum. I will see you both tomorrow.” She left with another look of concern for me. I ignored it.

“Alice I need to talk to you about something.” She sighed and led me towards the car. We both got in and as she started to drive she answered me.

“ Bella, that was Tanya.” God it was just getting better and better. Tanya was one of the Denali vampires.I had always known that she had a thing for Edward but he had told me that he didn’t return the feeling. “Her and her family are staying with us for a little while. There is no way that Edward would have expected her to be waiting for him after school. I think….”
I interrupted her quickly. “ Alice I don’t want to know about Tanya and Edward. That is his business. I can’t …… I just can’t think about that. What I wanted to speak to you about was… well.. I need your help.”

Alice looked confused. She had obviously thought that she was going to have to deal with my heartbreak. I refused to think about that. No doubt it would come back to me tenfold in the silence of the night but for the moment I pushed it as far down into my subconscious as I could.

“ Anything Bella. What do you need?”

“ I need you to let me go to La Push.”

The silence was deafening. She stared at me as if I had lost my mind. It seemed ages before she responded. “You know I can’t do that Bella. It is too dangerous. Edward would kill me.”

I scoffed at her. “Edward is not going to care. He seems pretty busy to me at the moment.” She looked like she was about to argue but I continued “I need to make things right with Jacob. He would be hurting so badly for what happened. I need to make him see that I understand and that he is still important to me.”

“ He might hurt you Bella. I can’t risk that. There would be no way I could face Ed…my whole family if he was to hurt you and I had allowed it. There is no way.” She was adamant. This wasn’t going too well. I thought about my choices. I could go on my own but no doubt they would either stop me or cross the line to follow me. I couldn’t allow them to cross the line knowing that it would bring about the same problem as last time. I needed to convince Alice. It was the only way. I changed tact.

“ Alice. Jacob is not going to hurt me. What happened was a freak accident. He would never deliberately hurt me. He was just pushed to his limit and I got in his way. He will live with that every day of his life just like Jasper does. I know Jasper never meant to hurt me but it was because he was new to this vegetarian life that he couldn’t resist. Jacob is a newly born werewolf. How is that any different? How can I not blame Jasper for what happened and then turn around and blame Jacob? Please Alice you have to understand. Jacob is important to me. I need to make him see that this will never happen again just like it will never happen again with Jasper.”

“I can’t believe you’re comparing Jasper with Jacob, Bella.” Alice said angrily “ Jasper lived in agony for months and months over your birthday disaster. He has done everything possible to make it up to you and you’re comparing him to a dog.”

An angry Alice is something to behold and for a few seconds I almost lost my nerve to continue this conversation. She was taking my words the wrong way.

“I am comparing him to my friend Alice. I love Jasper. I love Jacob. It is as simple as that. Both of them made a mistake that was beyond their control. I do not blame either of them. I just want to live knowing that they both have some sense that there is nothing to be forgiven. Jasper had you to help him through that process. I want to at least get Jacob onto that road to recovery but I can’t do that from here. I need to go to him and that means La Push.”

Exasperation was clearly etched across her perfect features but she appeared calmer. “You certainly have strong emotions for a human Bella. It never ceases to amaze me how you put everyone else before yourself.”

“ I don’t think we are so different Alice. We are both willing to fight for what we believe is right. Other people’s pain is not a pleasure to us.”

I could sense that she was thawing and her convictions were wavering. She was trying to understand my need. I might get to see Jacob yet.

“I have just one question for you Bella.” she paused as if to determine whether she should go ahead and ask or not. “Are you in love with Jacob? Are you hoping that a reconciliation will be for more than a friendship?” Alice was scrutinizing my face, obviously searching for the truth.

It was not hard to answer with the truth even though the truth led to a huge sense of loss for me. “ I go to save a friendship Alice. Nothing else. There is, and always has been only one person who I love with everything I have got. Your brother has made his choices and they don’t involve me but it doesn’t stop me from loving him. I don’t think I will ever stop.”

My face must have displayed the absolute honesty behind those words. A range of emotions flitted across her face. Belief, sympathy, love, indecision, relief, anxiety.

“Ok Bella. You’ve won. I will take you to the line and wait for you there. You have one hour to talk some sense into your wolf and that is it. Please don’t make me come in after you. I am going to be in enough trouble as it is.” She grimaced and then put her foot to the accelerator. “Let’s get this over and done with before I change my mind.”
This was so good. Please write more, if I have to wait to long I might, WILL die. Tanya and her family need to leave, NOW!!! Write more soon.
Thanks. Hopefully the next chapter will be ready for tomorrow. Please don't die!
I won't, I tend to exagerate, anyways, I think I can wait till tommorrow. Keep on writing, your story is amazing!
Awww Thanks Isabella. That is a really lovely thing to write consiering all the great fanfics that are out there. Appreciate it.
Both good points but I am not so good with the American schooling system so I tried to cover the fact that Jasper was with them by saying he had to make up for time while they were away. I had it in my head that Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie hadn't come back to school once NEW Moon was finished. Glad that everyone has been ok with my mistake. Woops. :)

You saw my intention with Bella's words. It remains to be seen when he will listen to Alice but let's hope it is soon.

Absolutely Rosalie was the caller - who else could it be. lol

Thanks so much for responding to my story. I really appreciate it.


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