The Twilight Saga

Edward returns to Forks to fight for a hurt and angry Bella. Not such an easy thing to do in this story. This is set after the Cullens have been away for quite a few months but before Bella makes the decision to cliff dive. I hope you enjoy the differences. A huge thankyou to Shellym127 and Wyldfyre for my wonderful banners.

 Chapter One (BPOV)                 Chapter Two (BPOV)  
Chapter Three ( BPOV)               Chapter Four ( APOV)  
Chapter Five (EPOV)                  Chapter Six (EPOV)  
Chapter Seven (EPOV)               Chapter Eight (BPOV)  
Chapter Nine (APOV)                 Chapter Ten (EPOV)  
Chapter Thirty One (APOV) - Page 50 Chapter Thirty Two (BPOV) - Page 53 Chapter Thirty Three (EPOV) - Page 57 Chapter Thirty Four (BPOV) - Page 60
Chapter Thirty Five (EPOV) - Page 65
Chapter Thirty Six (EPOV) - Page 68
Chapter Thirty Seven (BPOV) - Page 71
Chapter Thirty Eight (APOV) - Page 74

Chapter One
The small pockets of warmth and hope that had been slowly finding their way into my damaged soul were threatening to disappear and it left me with a feeling of despair. Just when I thought that I had found some kind of reasonable existence – even a small tinge of happiness – I could feel that it was slipping away. Why did Jacob, my loving, fun, happy source of sunshine have to confuse our friendship for something more? Why couldn’t we just keep being friends and continue healing the broken pieces of my soul one small piece at a time through the warmth he had managed to bring to my life. Selfish, selfish. I knew it for what it was. I was being remarkably selfish to put him through this. To make him keep his distance at the same time as trying to pull his warmth into my very being. I was being unfair. He was being accepting. I should leave him alone but I really wasn’t sure that I could. I needed him to get me through this. It was only with him that I felt even remotely like myself – a shadow for sure but at least it was something beyond that awful place I was at when the other one left. I started to see the other’s face but I pulled myself away from that image and concentrated on Jacob, a different type of pain but somehow something less confronting. What choice was I going to make here? Neither choice would help. I would never love Jacob the way he wanted. Who am I kidding, I would never love anyone the way I should. I was damaged in that respect. I had known love and it had been ripped away. The darkness threatened to engulf me again. Concentrate - we are not thinking about that appalling time. Jacob. Yes Jacob. He knew that I couldn’t love him that way but he felt it might happen in time if I just let it. My choices could lead to even more heartache for him and I knew what that was like. Was I willing to put him through the emotional void I had experienced just so I could start to feel better myself? I had never been a selfish person. I had always been the one to look after others but……. I needed help and he was the only one who could give it.

“Bella. Are you home?” The front door slammed as Charlie entered the house. I quickly studied myself in the mirror. Not that I really cared what I looked like but I didn’t want Charlie to see that I had been crying again. It would break his heart if he thought that I was returning to that awful place I was at a few months ago. He was happy that I had finally managed to pull myself out of that hole and I was pretty sure that he was thanking Jacob for that in his own head. He knew I had a long way to go but I didn’t want to give him even an inkling that I could fall back into that abyss with the slightest provocation. It would hurt him. I sighed. There was always someone for me to hurt.

“Here dad”. I called as I made my way downstairs.
“ How was your day? Did you have fun with Jacob?” he enquired while he studied my face.
I pulled my face into a calm mask and answered the way I knew he wanted. “ Sure, we always have a good time together. We just hung out. You know how it is dad.”
“ When are you seeing him again?” Subtle Charlie. Why don’t you just ask me when are we going to get married and have kids so that you can be sure that I won’t completely lose it again.
“ Um. Not so sure. We are both pretty busy from here on in. You know school going back and all. I am sure it will be soon though” I added because I saw his face show a small sign of panic. “ Have to go dad the grocery store is calling or we won’t have any food. See ya.” I made a dash for the door before he could continue with the discussion and lead me to confess that not all was right between Jacob and I. It wasn’t something that I wanted to face.

Chapter Two
Life was full of mundane everyday routines and this was one of them. Grocery shopping. Thank goodness for the mundane. It let me look like I was functioning without really having to think about what was going on in all the other parts of my life. It made people think that I was surviving when all I wanted to really do was curl up into a ball and……. Not an option I told myself firmly. You are not the only person that is impacted by your choices. Charlie, Renee, Jacob, Angela. All people I loved and wanted to protect. One step in front of the other. Slowly but surely things would get better.

I had finished the shopping and was heading out to the carpark. I looked up to see that the shadows were deepening and that twilight was upon us. Twilight was his favourite time. I shuddered and deliberately made my thoughts wander from that potentially destructive course of images. When would this stop. I sighed for the umpteenth time and started to put the groceries in the boot of the car.

“ Bella”. I closed my eyes tightly. Why on earth was I hearing his voice. I was putting groceries in the car for god’s sake. I wasn’t doing anything dangerous that could lead me to hearing his voice. I wasn’t trying to be reckless on one of the motorbikes that Jacob had fixed for me. I wasn’t putting myself into any danger by talking to strange men in the middle of a quiet Port Angeles street. There wasn’t anything remotely threatening in what I was doing at all. I chose to ignore it and kept packing.

“ Ah excuse me Bella”. Now I know I am going mad. His voice was never pleasant when he spoke to me in my mind. He was always angry at me for what I was doing. What a joke. My mind obviously wanted to believe that he cared when I put myself in danger even though I knew that there was nothing further from the truth. This was different though. This was that beautiful sing song voice that I had cast from my mind when he had told me he didn’t love me anymore. When he had told me that he no longer existed. Why on earth was I hearing it now?

I slowly turned around to see what was going on. I gasped and instantly felt a fierce joy overcome me. It was instantly rebuffed however as my mind began to register what was happening in front of me. This could not be real. Edward stood about two metres in front of me, flanked by his family. Every single one of them. How could that be? Why on earth were they all here in front of me in a carpark of all places. Edward looked nervous. Alice looked elated. Jasper was worried. Emmett was smirking. Rosalie looked bored. Carlisle and Esme stood a little behind. It seemed like ages before anyone spoke. I couldn’t even grasp if this was reality or some sick fantasy. I had pushed all these people to the bottom of my subconscious in the hope of gaining some semblance of normality. Yet here they were looking as real as uniquely beautiful people can look.

I felt my hands reach across my stomach as if to protect myself. I hugged myself fiercely. This was not happening. This could not happen now. Please, please leave me alone I yelled to myself silently.

“ Bella. we were um….. that is Bella we were hoping……..” His voice trailed off as I stared at him coldly. I watched as he slumped slightly and turned to Alice for help.

Alice placed her hand on his arm and turned to me smiling. “ Hi Bella. We are so happy to see you”
Was she joking? What were they doing? Happy to see me? I had never heard anything so absurd in my life.
Alice came towards me. ‘She is going to hug you.’ my inner voice yelled at me and I reflexively placed my hands up to ward her off. I saw her stricken face as she quickly moved back to her spot next to Edward without touching me at all. Jasper grasped her hand and I knew that he was using his gift to help her. I didn’t care. I was beginning to spiral out of control. I could feel it. I needed to get out of here.

I turned back to the car and slammed the boot closed with as much ferocity as I could manage. My mind was still yelling at me to get out of there. I moved towards the car door. I still had not said a single word and I could still feel seven pairs of eyes staring uncertainly at my back.

“ Please Bella. Don’t go”. His voice was pleading. There was something there but I couldn’t quite get what it was. I was too full of my own anguish that I didn’t want to see what he was trying to do. “ I am so sorry Bella. I truly am…
“ You. Are. Sorry.” I spat out at him. He looked like I had slapped him across the face but he remained calm and tried again.
“ Yes Bella. I am sorry. I should never have left you like that. I have been….”

I could feel the red hot emotion of anger come over me. I couldn’t think straight. All I knew was that the one that had hurt me the most , the one that had ripped my heart out and left me to fend for myself was standing in front of me saying that he was sorry. What did he want from me? Hadn’t he hurt me enough?
“ You left me Edward. You made me think that you loved me and then you just decided that I wasn’t good enough for you and you…. left…. me. Do you think I care that you are SORRY. I DO NOT CARE” I yelled at him furiously and then realized where I was. The carpark. I made my voice softer but kept the anger in it. There was way too much pain involved to just let this go. “ You made your choice Edward. You made my choice for me. Not only did you take yourself away from me… you took everyone.” I glared at the whole family. Oh god how I had loved this family but now all I felt for them was anger. “ Not one of you cared enough about me to check that I was alright. Not one of you tried to keep contact”. I looked at Alice as I said this and I saw her cringe and Jaspers hand tighten on hers.

“ I’m sorry Bella” Alice moaned “ I know it seems like we didn’t care but of course we did. We just had to do the right thing”
“ The right thing, the right thing. Are you serious. You were my best friend. I loved you like a sister. I would never EVER TURN MY BACK on you” I was becoming hysterical. “ You are as bad as him. You LEFT me”
“ We did it to protect you Bella” Alice stammered. “ We were thinking of you”
“ How could going away possibly protect me Alice. How could leaving me to face the others possibly help me. Laurent, Victoria and any other blood drinking mythical creature that feels that I am their personal magnet. It’s neverending. Every sound, every shadow. Constant fear and NOONE to protect me. “ My breathing was becoming quicker and I could feel the shock oozing out of every one of them. I didn’t care. “ How was leaving the right thing to do when I couldn’t feel or breath for god knows how long?”
I caught the significant look that Alice gave Jasper and I turned on him ferociously. “ DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT CALMING ME DOWN. You have no right. Let me be. Let me feel what I am feeling Not what you want me to feel. You owe me that Jasper” Another stab in the heart for someone I had once cared for. He would never forgive himself for what he had done that helped lead us to this moment and I had just driven it home even more. He stopped though. I didn’t feel any calm just the red hot anger. It made me keep the poisoned arrows hurling at the Cullen family. “ and you Emmett. Have you come back to tease me more. Bored, are you, without the silly human to entertain you – obviously I wasn’t entertaining enough to keep around hey even though I thought of you as the big brother I had never had?”
I turned to Rosalie as she hissed at me. No one insults Emmet without earning her wrath. What could I say to her? She had never professed to care so what had she done wrong? “ At least you never pretended to care Rosalie. At least when you left you didn’t make a mockery of a friendship. There never was one between us”
I turned to attack the two remaining Cullens and felt the wind come out of my sail. I had had enough. What could I possibly say to two of the most amazing people I know. I couldn’t inflict any more hurt tonight.
“ Please stop Bella. This is not my family’s fault. They only left because I forced them to…..”

“ Do you know what Edward, I am finished. When you left me you told me to forget that you or any of your family ever existed. Well you have got what you wanted. As far as I am concerned none of you exist. Go away and leave me alone.” I turned away from all of their shocked faces and numbly placed myself in the car as I whispered “I don’t need ANY vampires in my life – NONE”

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Replies to This Discussion

This was so good and Edward needs to stop being so damn stubborn
Again all I can say to everyone is I am really sorry that I have made Edward so annoying. It wasn't my intention - I just wanted the star crossed lover syndrome to come out in this story as I thought it would be interesting to explore how miscommunication can ruin a good thing. (and how someone leaving you might make you a little cross?????)

Anyway I have come up to the part of the story where things will start to be communicated one way or another between everyone involved. I hope you all hang in there.

Thnaks for everyone for reading. I haven't relpied to everyone so sorry about that but I have been getting on for small amounts of time just to catch up and haven't had the time.

Until the next chapter.....
Hi. I am going to try and finish writing it tonight while my family are out so hopefully it will be then.
Thanks though for carng about it being posted. I hope I don't disappoint with this one. I am a little scared.
You could never disappoint! I luv your story!
Glad you liked it. Thanks so much. I have accepted you as a friend and will let you know when the nexy chapter is up.

Chapter 24

Edward did a vanishing act for yet another time but it didn’t surprise me. I knew he would have to be spending time with Tanya so I didn’t bother asking after him and Alice was not forthcoming with any information of her own. Luckily our days became ridiculously busy as the hospital fundraiser loomed closer and closer so I was saved from the onslaught of pessimism that was throbbing just below the surface. Alice was in her element and had thrown herself into working on decorations, music, food and all the finer details that only Alice could get right. She seemed possessed with the need to make this event a huge success. Angela and I followed all her instructions to a tee. There was no point messing with what could only be perfection. Alice knew what she was doing. It would be an amazing night.

Hand and hand with the preparation came Alice’s favourite past time – shopping. The exuberance she displayed whilst dragging Angela and I from shop to shop was somehow comforting as well as awe inspiring. I actually found myself enjoying our outings to Port Angeles and Seattle with Alice and Angela. We had formed a close comradeship – the three of us – that was the one real joy I had to keep me going. Angela never appeared to be concerned with Alice’s differences and although we never spoke of it I knew that she had an inkling that the Cullen’s were special. She just chose not to dwell on it.

There was however one shopping expedition that I would rather forget. Alice picked me up as usual and I knew that we were in for a long day because that day was dress shopping. Alice was determined that as the hosts we had to look spectacular. Easy for her to say considering her innate beauty, but rather difficult for me to envision for myself. I knew she had in mind particular outfits for all of us and that we would scour every shop until she had found exactly the right ones. What I hadn’t expected was Tanya and Rosalie joining us. From the look on Alice’s face she wasn’t happy about it either but she put on a pleasant face and allowed them to tag along. Great I was feeling plainer and plainer by the second. Angela wasn’t feeling too comfortable either.

Between Tanya’s ill disguised contempt of me, her constant reminders of Edward doing this or liking her in that, the vile suggestions of intimacy – all of course when the others were distracted by the things going on around them – I wanted to scream. Every time she spoke of Edward it seemed to open up a fresh wound of longing that I was trying so hard to keep at bay. I had never been so happy to find a dress and cease being Alice’s life sized mannequin doll so that we could head back home and be away from that constant prattle. I didn’t need to be reminded that Edward preferred her company over mine. It was something that was never far from my thoughts.

Alice had dropped me home and I had been glad to shower and change. Tanya’s persistent, pointed comments had resulted in a fully blown headache and I was in the kitchen taking something for it when the doorbell rang. Not what I wanted or needed but I dragged myself to the door anyway. Opening it up I saw the last person I would have ever expected – Rosalie, and she was on her own. Rosalie held a box in her hands and held it out to me. “Alice asked me to give these to you as I was coming over anyway for my turn of babysitting.” she stated somewhat defensively. The box she gave me was one I had obviously left in Alice’s car and contained my shoes. Surely Alice could have given me those when I saw her the next day. I looked at Rosalie in confusion. She appeared to want to say something.

“Ah, thanks Rosalie. That was nice of you.” I answered timidly. She turned to leave and then spun back as if she had something to say but didn’t really want to.

“ She was lying today you know.” She found it hard to look at me. My mystified expression must have told her that I did not know what she was talking about. “Tanya. Today. She lied. Just thought you should know.”

Without another word Rosalie left my verandah and disappeared into the darkness. I was flabbergasted. Rosalie had always seemed to resent me and never spoke to me unless it was in anger or she was forced to. What had possessed her to go out of her way to tell me that Tanya had been lying? Was she trying to make me feel better about what had occurred today? I was totally perplexed about her motives. I closed the door and headed back upstairs. Just another thing to toss around in my mind and add to its confused state.

That had been a week ago. I was still as confused as ever about the reasons behind Rosalie’s visit but I did appreciate that I now knew that Tanya was not being truthful about her interactions with Edward. It probably didn’t make even an ounce of difference in the whole scheme of things but it did make me feel better to know that maybe they weren’t as close as what Tanya had been suggesting. The thought of her touching him in any intimate way made my skin crawl in revulsion. Rosalie had done me a favour.

“Bella. Are you concentrating on what I am saying?” Alice looked at me impatiently and I knew that I had lost track of my current environment and company.

“Um. Sorry Alice. I was a world away thinking of all the last minute things we need to do before tomorrow night.” I lied smoothly but Alice told me with an arch of her eyebrow that she didn’t believe it for one moment.

“Whatever you say Bella.” she grinned “I was actually saying that I need to grab a couple of things from home before we head over to the hall. Is that ok with you?”

Her house? I wasn’t sure that that was such a good idea. I could run into Tanya or even worse Edward and it would be so incredibly uncomfortable to see him in his own home. It would also bring back memories that would be bittersweet. I had spent so many incredible hours at the house with the Cullens and it would just remind me of what I had lost again. Of course what my mind was saying did not match what my mouth was saying to Alice. “Sure. No problems.”

Alice had the same ‘need for speed’ mentality as the rest of the Cullens so we were there in no time at all. Alice showed me to the loungeroom and left me there whilst she headed upstairs to pick up the things she needed. I was completely alone in the room and I wandered aimlessly around touching the beautiful possessions owned by the family. Their taste was really impeccable and this house seemed as warm and hospitable as it had on my previous visits when things had been so much better.

“It’s an amazing place, isn’t it?” a voice broke my reverie. I cringed in response. Tanya’s voice was the last voice I wished to hear and it was way too close for my liking. I slowly turned and smiled at her politely so that she could not register my distaste or my fear. I hoped that Alice would see this and come to help me. She was obviously distracted.

“So Bella, hoping to see my Edward were you? So sorry love. He is a little… busy at the moment. We have been discussing you though and he has been telling me all about your little crush on him. It must be so hard for you to accept that Edward doesn’t love you. I know it would be absolutely devastating if that was the case with me.” She looked at me through narrowed eyes to note my response but I held myself straight and tried as hard as I could not to give her the satisfaction of seeing that her words hurt. “We laugh at the concept of a vampire with a human all the time. What a ridiculous idea. You couldn’t possibly think that a magnificent vampire such as Edward would actually be interested in a plain human like you. The passion we have between us is an incredible thing really and … well I hate to tell you this but he really does see you as a bit of a joke.”

“She’s lying.” Rosalie’s voice resounded in the turmoil of my mind. I didn’t need her voice to tell me that. It was so clear to me now just how badly Tanya was trying to mislead me. The anger I felt at her words weren’t for me but more for Edward. She was so badly insulting his integrity and his compassion that I felt fury expand within me.

“It’s apparent to me that for someone who is so keen to make out that she is with Edward that you really don’t know him well at all.” I spoke with knowledge on my side. “If you did, you would know that there is no way Edward would say anything remotely condescending about any woman regardless of his feelings for her – good or bad. Edward might not love me but he would never, ever try to embarrass me by talking about me negatively behind my back. He would never laugh about my weaknesses or tell you about our love life. He is too much of a gentleman for that. He is too sensitive to other people’s feelings to make fun of them. Edward might not love me Tanya but that doesn’t change that I know what a good and loving person he is. You are being offensive by trying to make out otherwise.”

I turned my back on her and headed towards the door. “Please let Alice know that I will wait for her outside.” I hoped the ice in my voice was convincing enough to let her know how little I thought of her.

Once outside I crumbled. Where had Alice been during my confrontation with Tanya? Surely she would have seen it and come to my rescue. I was fuming with all the implications made by Tanya and how they still affected me even though I knew them to be lies. I was surprised to feel wetness on my cheeks. I hadn’t realized that I had been crying. I brushed the tears away angrily. I was not going to let anyone see me upset. Tanya was deliberately trying to deceive me but when it came down to it there were aspects of her words that were true. I just knew that Edward would never have been the one to rub those aspects in.

I felt his presence before I saw him. He was standing quietly in the shadows as if deciding whether he should approach or not. He stepped towards me and I saw the anxiety on his face. “Bella, are you ok?” Another inane question I was always being asked. Was I ok? No! I wanted to scream at him. No and I haven’t been ok since the day you left me. Words I wouldn’t utter. I had obviously already embarrassed myself enough for one night. He must have heard what I had said to Tanya – he was a vampire ,after all, with an amazing sense of hearing. What had I been thinking? He must really think I was foolish. “ Yes Edward. I am fine. I am sorry for getting angry with your house guest but…….”

“Thank you,” he breathed as he hesitantly stepped towards me. I couldn’t move an inch as I was all of a sudden overcome with his intoxicating appeal. I stared at him dumbly. “Thank you for believing in me. For knowing I wouldn’t do what she was suggesting.” He was getting closer and closer and I just couldn’t react. I was mesmerized by his face. The perfect slant of his cheekbones, the appealing fullness of his lips, the half crooked smile he was trying to access for my benefit. Everything about him was so incredibly enticing and he was getting way too close. He slowly reached for my hand and looked at me enquiringly. I still didn’t react. My hand became entwined in his and he lifted it towards his face before turning it so my wrist was exposed to his lips and he kissed it lightly. My pulse jumped in a frenzied acknowledgement of his cool lips. He shuddered at my involuntary response. His other hand moved to stroke my cheek gently with his thumb and I was immobilized. His hand was so icy cold but where he touched me I could only feel the warmth under my skin. “Forgive me Bella but I can’t help it.” he moaned as his lips came towards mine. My lips opened in anticipation and I felt his sweet breath intermingle with mine. As soon as our lips met and mine moulded against his I allowed myself to lose myself in the moment and not think of the consequences. My hand traced the hard contours of his back until I got to the back of his neck. I twisted the softness of his hair around my fingers and pulled him closer into me. I could feel that we were both losing control but I didn’t care. This felt so right. He belonged in my arms. His coolness was so soothing. I had ached for his touch for so long now and I reveled in his apparent need for me too. There was an urgency about this kiss that made me hungry for more.

The slight commotion a short distance from us hardly registered in my passion fueled mind but I felt Edward instantly freeze as Alice called out in alarm. “Edward NO!”

I turned my head away from Edward’s kisses in reluctance to find Alice, Jasper and Emmett staring at us in varying states of alarm. I couldn’t understand their anxiety. This was a good thing. I turned back to look at Edward and noticed the look of absolute disgust on his face. I felt disorientated. How could something that had seemed so perfect a moment ago have turned into something that made him feel only disgust. I searched his face for answers even as he began to move away from me slowly. There were none, and then I looked into his amazing eyes and the knowledge came with a heart wrenching thud – his eyes were the deepest shade of black I had ever seen. Tiny tentacles of fear enveloped my body in recognition of the danger.

Edward was hungry and I was singing to him!
OMG, Thank the Lord, we are saved!!!
Finally, finally, finally, Michelle you have all but driven me distracted with the Edward in your story, but this is better, so much better!
And the cliffhanger is killing me, too, but nor so much, I'll wait patiently!!
This was beautiful, very sweet, I am literally smiling so hard my face hurts, lol.
I am liking that you are smiling. That makes me feel better. Hopefully you still are after the next chapter!
omg. see i thought he was showng bella he loved her. but he was acting like that so he could kill her. great twist. no wonder he said sorry bella i can't help myself.
OMG OMG OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love this! I literally can't wait for more!
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please write more soon!!!! I can't wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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