The Twilight Saga

Edward returns to Forks to fight for a hurt and angry Bella. Not such an easy thing to do in this story. This is set after the Cullens have been away for quite a few months but before Bella makes the decision to cliff dive. I hope you enjoy the differences. A huge thankyou to Shellym127 and Wyldfyre for my wonderful banners.

 Chapter One (BPOV)                 Chapter Two (BPOV)  
Chapter Three ( BPOV)               Chapter Four ( APOV)  
Chapter Five (EPOV)                  Chapter Six (EPOV)  
Chapter Seven (EPOV)               Chapter Eight (BPOV)  
Chapter Nine (APOV)                 Chapter Ten (EPOV)  
Chapter Thirty One (APOV) - Page 50 Chapter Thirty Two (BPOV) - Page 53 Chapter Thirty Three (EPOV) - Page 57 Chapter Thirty Four (BPOV) - Page 60
Chapter Thirty Five (EPOV) - Page 65
Chapter Thirty Six (EPOV) - Page 68
Chapter Thirty Seven (BPOV) - Page 71
Chapter Thirty Eight (APOV) - Page 74

Chapter One
The small pockets of warmth and hope that had been slowly finding their way into my damaged soul were threatening to disappear and it left me with a feeling of despair. Just when I thought that I had found some kind of reasonable existence – even a small tinge of happiness – I could feel that it was slipping away. Why did Jacob, my loving, fun, happy source of sunshine have to confuse our friendship for something more? Why couldn’t we just keep being friends and continue healing the broken pieces of my soul one small piece at a time through the warmth he had managed to bring to my life. Selfish, selfish. I knew it for what it was. I was being remarkably selfish to put him through this. To make him keep his distance at the same time as trying to pull his warmth into my very being. I was being unfair. He was being accepting. I should leave him alone but I really wasn’t sure that I could. I needed him to get me through this. It was only with him that I felt even remotely like myself – a shadow for sure but at least it was something beyond that awful place I was at when the other one left. I started to see the other’s face but I pulled myself away from that image and concentrated on Jacob, a different type of pain but somehow something less confronting. What choice was I going to make here? Neither choice would help. I would never love Jacob the way he wanted. Who am I kidding, I would never love anyone the way I should. I was damaged in that respect. I had known love and it had been ripped away. The darkness threatened to engulf me again. Concentrate - we are not thinking about that appalling time. Jacob. Yes Jacob. He knew that I couldn’t love him that way but he felt it might happen in time if I just let it. My choices could lead to even more heartache for him and I knew what that was like. Was I willing to put him through the emotional void I had experienced just so I could start to feel better myself? I had never been a selfish person. I had always been the one to look after others but……. I needed help and he was the only one who could give it.

“Bella. Are you home?” The front door slammed as Charlie entered the house. I quickly studied myself in the mirror. Not that I really cared what I looked like but I didn’t want Charlie to see that I had been crying again. It would break his heart if he thought that I was returning to that awful place I was at a few months ago. He was happy that I had finally managed to pull myself out of that hole and I was pretty sure that he was thanking Jacob for that in his own head. He knew I had a long way to go but I didn’t want to give him even an inkling that I could fall back into that abyss with the slightest provocation. It would hurt him. I sighed. There was always someone for me to hurt.

“Here dad”. I called as I made my way downstairs.
“ How was your day? Did you have fun with Jacob?” he enquired while he studied my face.
I pulled my face into a calm mask and answered the way I knew he wanted. “ Sure, we always have a good time together. We just hung out. You know how it is dad.”
“ When are you seeing him again?” Subtle Charlie. Why don’t you just ask me when are we going to get married and have kids so that you can be sure that I won’t completely lose it again.
“ Um. Not so sure. We are both pretty busy from here on in. You know school going back and all. I am sure it will be soon though” I added because I saw his face show a small sign of panic. “ Have to go dad the grocery store is calling or we won’t have any food. See ya.” I made a dash for the door before he could continue with the discussion and lead me to confess that not all was right between Jacob and I. It wasn’t something that I wanted to face.

Chapter Two
Life was full of mundane everyday routines and this was one of them. Grocery shopping. Thank goodness for the mundane. It let me look like I was functioning without really having to think about what was going on in all the other parts of my life. It made people think that I was surviving when all I wanted to really do was curl up into a ball and……. Not an option I told myself firmly. You are not the only person that is impacted by your choices. Charlie, Renee, Jacob, Angela. All people I loved and wanted to protect. One step in front of the other. Slowly but surely things would get better.

I had finished the shopping and was heading out to the carpark. I looked up to see that the shadows were deepening and that twilight was upon us. Twilight was his favourite time. I shuddered and deliberately made my thoughts wander from that potentially destructive course of images. When would this stop. I sighed for the umpteenth time and started to put the groceries in the boot of the car.

“ Bella”. I closed my eyes tightly. Why on earth was I hearing his voice. I was putting groceries in the car for god’s sake. I wasn’t doing anything dangerous that could lead me to hearing his voice. I wasn’t trying to be reckless on one of the motorbikes that Jacob had fixed for me. I wasn’t putting myself into any danger by talking to strange men in the middle of a quiet Port Angeles street. There wasn’t anything remotely threatening in what I was doing at all. I chose to ignore it and kept packing.

“ Ah excuse me Bella”. Now I know I am going mad. His voice was never pleasant when he spoke to me in my mind. He was always angry at me for what I was doing. What a joke. My mind obviously wanted to believe that he cared when I put myself in danger even though I knew that there was nothing further from the truth. This was different though. This was that beautiful sing song voice that I had cast from my mind when he had told me he didn’t love me anymore. When he had told me that he no longer existed. Why on earth was I hearing it now?

I slowly turned around to see what was going on. I gasped and instantly felt a fierce joy overcome me. It was instantly rebuffed however as my mind began to register what was happening in front of me. This could not be real. Edward stood about two metres in front of me, flanked by his family. Every single one of them. How could that be? Why on earth were they all here in front of me in a carpark of all places. Edward looked nervous. Alice looked elated. Jasper was worried. Emmett was smirking. Rosalie looked bored. Carlisle and Esme stood a little behind. It seemed like ages before anyone spoke. I couldn’t even grasp if this was reality or some sick fantasy. I had pushed all these people to the bottom of my subconscious in the hope of gaining some semblance of normality. Yet here they were looking as real as uniquely beautiful people can look.

I felt my hands reach across my stomach as if to protect myself. I hugged myself fiercely. This was not happening. This could not happen now. Please, please leave me alone I yelled to myself silently.

“ Bella. we were um….. that is Bella we were hoping……..” His voice trailed off as I stared at him coldly. I watched as he slumped slightly and turned to Alice for help.

Alice placed her hand on his arm and turned to me smiling. “ Hi Bella. We are so happy to see you”
Was she joking? What were they doing? Happy to see me? I had never heard anything so absurd in my life.
Alice came towards me. ‘She is going to hug you.’ my inner voice yelled at me and I reflexively placed my hands up to ward her off. I saw her stricken face as she quickly moved back to her spot next to Edward without touching me at all. Jasper grasped her hand and I knew that he was using his gift to help her. I didn’t care. I was beginning to spiral out of control. I could feel it. I needed to get out of here.

I turned back to the car and slammed the boot closed with as much ferocity as I could manage. My mind was still yelling at me to get out of there. I moved towards the car door. I still had not said a single word and I could still feel seven pairs of eyes staring uncertainly at my back.

“ Please Bella. Don’t go”. His voice was pleading. There was something there but I couldn’t quite get what it was. I was too full of my own anguish that I didn’t want to see what he was trying to do. “ I am so sorry Bella. I truly am…
“ You. Are. Sorry.” I spat out at him. He looked like I had slapped him across the face but he remained calm and tried again.
“ Yes Bella. I am sorry. I should never have left you like that. I have been….”

I could feel the red hot emotion of anger come over me. I couldn’t think straight. All I knew was that the one that had hurt me the most , the one that had ripped my heart out and left me to fend for myself was standing in front of me saying that he was sorry. What did he want from me? Hadn’t he hurt me enough?
“ You left me Edward. You made me think that you loved me and then you just decided that I wasn’t good enough for you and you…. left…. me. Do you think I care that you are SORRY. I DO NOT CARE” I yelled at him furiously and then realized where I was. The carpark. I made my voice softer but kept the anger in it. There was way too much pain involved to just let this go. “ You made your choice Edward. You made my choice for me. Not only did you take yourself away from me… you took everyone.” I glared at the whole family. Oh god how I had loved this family but now all I felt for them was anger. “ Not one of you cared enough about me to check that I was alright. Not one of you tried to keep contact”. I looked at Alice as I said this and I saw her cringe and Jaspers hand tighten on hers.

“ I’m sorry Bella” Alice moaned “ I know it seems like we didn’t care but of course we did. We just had to do the right thing”
“ The right thing, the right thing. Are you serious. You were my best friend. I loved you like a sister. I would never EVER TURN MY BACK on you” I was becoming hysterical. “ You are as bad as him. You LEFT me”
“ We did it to protect you Bella” Alice stammered. “ We were thinking of you”
“ How could going away possibly protect me Alice. How could leaving me to face the others possibly help me. Laurent, Victoria and any other blood drinking mythical creature that feels that I am their personal magnet. It’s neverending. Every sound, every shadow. Constant fear and NOONE to protect me. “ My breathing was becoming quicker and I could feel the shock oozing out of every one of them. I didn’t care. “ How was leaving the right thing to do when I couldn’t feel or breath for god knows how long?”
I caught the significant look that Alice gave Jasper and I turned on him ferociously. “ DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT CALMING ME DOWN. You have no right. Let me be. Let me feel what I am feeling Not what you want me to feel. You owe me that Jasper” Another stab in the heart for someone I had once cared for. He would never forgive himself for what he had done that helped lead us to this moment and I had just driven it home even more. He stopped though. I didn’t feel any calm just the red hot anger. It made me keep the poisoned arrows hurling at the Cullen family. “ and you Emmett. Have you come back to tease me more. Bored, are you, without the silly human to entertain you – obviously I wasn’t entertaining enough to keep around hey even though I thought of you as the big brother I had never had?”
I turned to Rosalie as she hissed at me. No one insults Emmet without earning her wrath. What could I say to her? She had never professed to care so what had she done wrong? “ At least you never pretended to care Rosalie. At least when you left you didn’t make a mockery of a friendship. There never was one between us”
I turned to attack the two remaining Cullens and felt the wind come out of my sail. I had had enough. What could I possibly say to two of the most amazing people I know. I couldn’t inflict any more hurt tonight.
“ Please stop Bella. This is not my family’s fault. They only left because I forced them to…..”

“ Do you know what Edward, I am finished. When you left me you told me to forget that you or any of your family ever existed. Well you have got what you wanted. As far as I am concerned none of you exist. Go away and leave me alone.” I turned away from all of their shocked faces and numbly placed myself in the car as I whispered “I don’t need ANY vampires in my life – NONE”

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Replies to This Discussion

Wow this story is awsome!! U are a great writer
write more soon!!! :)
Awww Thanks. You are all making me want to write so much more with your kind words. Thanks for that. I am almost finished the next chapter - will have it up soon.
First post! Aww I hope he doesn't lose her to Jacob. Edward must be going throught hell. I wonder, does Bella want to be with Edward for an enternity still? Let's hope she is okay. Is she so injured that vampirism is the only way to heal her?
Who wouldn't want to be with Edward for eternity? lol He just has some self esteem issues I think when it comes to Bella and lets them cloud his view of how she feels about him.
OMG!!! can't wait for the nxt part... plz write soon...

Chapter 13
I knew I was fighting a losing battle when I tried to have her removed before the fight started. I had made the call in desperation. I was hoping someone else would force her hand and make her see reason. She was too strong in her convictions for that. She would do whatever it took to protect all of us and it was one of the reasons that I loved her. She wasn’t a coward. She would hold her ground and face the consequences. They just weren’t consequences that I could live with so I made that last ditch effort.

Useless! I wasn’t going to let her get any closer to the wolves though and when she moved towards them I had every intention of doing whatever it took to stop her. Again I was thwarted. She walked right up to the black one and looked him squarely in the eyes. He appeared to know her well and was listening to what she said but it wasn’t moving him, not until she mentioned a girl called Emily. Ah… he loved this Emily and Bella knew that he would do anything for her, even break a treaty, so he began to falter in his convictions and I began to hope that we might all possibly get out of here alive. Most of all I wanted that to be the case for Bella.

Jacob’s thoughts were malignant. He wanted to rip us all apart and he was showing me how much he would like to do it to me in particular. He was so angry that Bella was defending us as humane creatures. He so wanted to believe that we were the worst type of monsters there were and that Bella would see us for what we truly were. He didn’t want her to believe that we needed forgiveness. He didn’t want her to feel anything for us at all. “Ask her leech. Ask her the question” he yelled into my head.

“He wants to know why you are protecting us after what we’ve done to you”

I listened to her answer and I felt like a million knives were thrust into my non beating heart. She really did believe that I didn’t love her. She actually thought that I had just stopped loving her so easily – that she meant nothing to me at all and yet she was going to defend me anyway. I wanted to contradict her but no words would come out. She was my everything and she was standing in front of these wolves saying that if a fight was to ensue she would die along with everyone else. Never. That could not happen. Bella needed to live. That was the most important thing in the world. The wolf voices in my head interrupted my own musings. They were going to let us off the hook because of her but the rest didn’t know that yet.

Everyone was looking at Bella and the wolves in confusion. I relayed what the wolves had been thinking for my family’s benefit. I couldn’t help but let the coldness seep into my voice when I spoke about Jacob’s reasoning. I returned my thoughts to Bella. Hadn’t I told my family that Bella was special. Here was the proof. Bella had deflected a major tragedy from occurring and she had done it herself without our help. She really was amazing.

The wolves came back and spoke again but I did not really listen to their spoken words, I was watching Bella and Jacob carefully. I already knew that he loved her and every thought in his mind reflected that. It made me shudder to think of it. I also knew there was something special between them. I saw her face crumple in grief when he turned away from her. I saw her reach out towards him and I knew she cared intensely for him. My stomach churned with jealousy. Why on earth had I pushed her towards this boy by leaving her. Another reason to never forgive myself. The list was growing on a daily basis.

“ I think we would have been better off if Edward had just turned her into a vampire when she first asked. It would have been safer for….” I rounded on Emmett furiously. How dare he even make the suggestion, he knew how I felt about it but before I could retaliate I became aware of the danger. Jacob had turned into a wolf and he was already on his way to ripping Emmett apart. I was about to block him when Bella threw herself in front of him. He flung her aside like a ragdoll and I saw that he had opened her side up with his sharp claws. Jasper was instantly on Jacob and I saw Jacob reflexively bite into his arm. I heard Sam urgently commanding Jacob to stop. Jasper was backing away and all of a sudden Jacob was lying on the floor in apparent pain. It was nothing to the pain I was about to inflict on him. He had hurt my Bella. I could see the blood flowing from her side and the agony of pain reflected on her face. He had to pay. Four pairs of hands immediately held me back. I fought uselessly against their combined strength. Did they not understand what had just happened? Did they not know that Jacob had harmed Bella in such a cowardly way? She was going to die after we had all been given a reprieve because of her. Where was the justice in that? Everyone was muttering at me. “ Concentrate on Bella. We need to help her” “ There’s too much blood” “She’s calling you” I heard her weak voice calling to me. The others didn’t take their arms off me but led me over to where her crumpled form lay bleeding. They were aware of my lack of control. They knew the instant they let me go I would kill that b----rd. I looked into Bella’s chocolate brown eyes and I saw the depth of feeling there as she whispered urgently to me. “ Please don’t hurt him.”. It was in that instant that I knew I had lost her to the wolf. I had lost her to the one that had inadvertently risked her life and left her bleeding to death on the ground in front of me. I wanted to be struck down there and then and I felt my will leave me as I collapsed to the ground. There was no way I could hurt him now. She had asked it of me and I knew that I would have to give her that one last thing even though every part of me screamed out for revenge. I had lost.

From then on everything happened in a blur. Carlisle ordered the wolves away so that he could try and save her life. Jacob had to be pulled away by the other members of his pack. Carlisle made my family remove themselves too. He knew that the temptation of her blood was too much for even them. Alice stayed to help. “ You could turn her into one of us Edward. We could save her that way.” I refused to move. I refused to answer her. There was no way I was going to inflict this life on Bella. It was bad enough that she had wanted it when she loved me but now I didn’t even have that as an incentive. She wouldn’t want to be stuck with me for eternity knowing that I had taken away her last chance at happiness with the one she really loved. We were going to have to save her the conservative way. I hoped Carlisle was up to it.
jacob what are you thinking
bella still loves them
love the story
I can't wait for the next chap
WOW!!!!!!! i love this story, i have just read all of it!! you have done so well!!!! Oh my god....LOVE it!!!
you had me crying in some parts and in others gasping at what had been said! you have written all of this so well!! I love how u have covered the story in different angles with Edward, Bella and Alice, cant wait for more!!!
I am glad that you like the different perspectives Hannah. Thanks for saying so. Ihave always liked books that show us what both characters were thinking about the situations so thought I would do that too. I also love Alice and think she deserves to be onvolved as well.
Thanks for reading.
Don't worry. I will be posting the next chapter later today and you will find out if they change her or not. Edward doen's want to but if it came to the crunch????????
Thanks for reading.
Chapter 14

The wait at the hospital was the longest and most agonizing wait of my long existence. The waiting room was full of my family and a broken Charlie, who Esme had gone to get once Bella was safely in surgery with Carlisle. She had explained to him that Bella had been swiped at by a wolf and that Jasper and I had come across her in the woods and saved her. What a joke. Bella wouldn’t have even been there if it wasn’t for us. The crazy half truth had to be told in order to protect everyone but who was protecting Bella. I was so angry it hurt. When he had come through the doors I had seen him look at us without acknowledging our presence but at least he hadn’t ordered us away. I don’t think I could have gone even if he had. Although she was no longer mine I needed to be here until I knew the outcome. I needed to know if she would live or die. I would deal with everything else once I knew that.

Alice sat between Jasper and I fussing over the bandage that Carlisle had quickly placed over Jasper’s arm where he had been bitten. She looked at him with concern but he just smiled weakly at her and gave his attention to me. “I am so sorry Edward. I tried to help her. Honestly. “ I nodded at him but didn’t speak. I was still angry that he had had a chance to kill the mutt and that I couldn’t even get close because they had all stopped me. Didn’t they understand how badly I had wanted to hurt him. Now my opportunity had been taken away because of Bella’s request. Was there nothing I wouldn’t do for that girl. Apparently not, except stay when she had asked me to months ago. Look where that had got us.

Alice tensed up next to me and appeared to be in one of her visions. Her face lit up and I quickly searched her thoughts to find what I needed to see. Carlisle was pulling off his mask and smiling triumphantly at the nurses in surgery with him. “ She’s going to make it”. I wilted under the intense relief this brought to me. I had been so on edge with the worry of losing her permanently that this was the best news I could have seen.

“ Carlisle will be out in a minute” Alice whispered to the family low enough that Charlie could not hear.
“ He is going to tell Charlie that all went well. Bella is going to make it”

For appearances sake we all left after Charlie was told the news by Carlisle. Charlie had been ecstatic that Bella was going to be ok and had thanked Carlisle profusely for all he had done. He had even turned to Jasper and myself and thanked us for our role in helping Bella out. I couldn’t look him in the eyes. He would have had to have seen my guilt for our part in Bella getting hurt. Carlisle guided him away from us and took him to see Bella for himself. I wished that I had the same option. I needed to see her myself to believe that she was ok. I promised myself that I would return once Charlie had had his time with her.

Everyone else left to go home but Alice and I remained in the car waiting for the right time to go back and check on Bella. Alice had so many questions to ask. I could hear them but I didn’t want to respond and she didn’t push it by asking me out loud. We sat in silence and soon she was thinking about Jasper and his control in this morning’s fiasco. The fact that he hadn’t even attempted to go for Bella’s blood had been a great source of pleasure for her. I chuckled humorlessly at her. She looked at me guiltily and then said.
“ I know but it was such a big thing for him Edward. It really was.” I didn’t want to think about Jaspers lust for Bella’s blood. It would just make me angry and bring about memories that were way too painful to think about.

Charlie came out of the hospital many hours later. He looked dead on his feet and was obviously going home to regroup. As he was leaving I saw him stop to talk to a wheelchair bound man and realized instantly that this was Billy Black. I snarled and Alice looked at me in alarm. She stared in the same direction as I was and saw him too. He wasn’t with Jacob though. He was with a woman. Alice sighed in relief. She was thinking that I wouldn’t be able to control myself if Jacob had been here now. She was right. Charlie pointed in the direction of Bella’s room and the two men separated, one moved towards his car and the other towards Bella’s room. “What right does he have to go and see her” I tried to keep my voice steady.

“ They are family friends Edward and in all honesty I am sure that he would have been sent by the wolves to check if she is ok. As much as we don’t want to admit it, they love her too. Jacob must be beside himself for what he has done.”
I cut her off there. “Do not mention his name to me again Alice. That dog almost killed her. Love or no love. I don’t want to hear your pity. He hurt Jasper too you recall.”
“ I know, I know and luckily for him he didn’t hurt him too much or I’d be after him too.”

I got out of the car angrily and Alice resigned herself to following me in silence as we walked through the hospital corridors. We got ourselves to the room just as Bella was groggily asking Billy if Jacob was ok. Billy was saying that he was physically ok but he was torturing himself for what had happened. Good I thought to myself let him feel the pain of knowing he had hurt her just like I had been doing for the past few months. One of us had hurt her emotionally and one had hurt her physically. I didn’t know which one of us was the worse.

Bella soon realized that we were standing at the doorway. Her smile was feeble as she asked us to come in. She glanced anxiously at Billy Black as he clenched his fists when he realized who it was. He stood up quickly and he and his woman companion went to leave. Bella concentrated on them for a bit longer. “Billy you need to tell Jacob that I am not angry. I know he didn’t mean to hurt me. Please tell him to come and see me.” Another dagger in my heart but I chose to ignore it and concentrate on the fact that Bella was breathing and talking.

Billy nodded stiffly and then glared at us as he made his way around us. He was careful not to have any contact. I wanted to yell at him and threaten him to keep all the wolves away from her but I couldn’t do that. She was looking worriedly at us and I knew that I had to respect her choices. Damn it.

As soon as Billy had left Bella was pulling herself upright on the bed. She turned white as a sheet and I knew that she had exerted herself too quickly. She ignored the pain and began firing questions at us.

“Is Jasper ok? Dad said that he had hurt his arm when he was trying to help me. I didn’t realize that he had even got involved in the scuffle”. She was calling it a scuffle. There was no end of surprises when it came to this girl. She had just been ripped apart by a werewolf and she was calling it a scuffle. “ Did anyone else get hurt? Edward, are you ok? Esme, Emmett, Rosalie? Please tell me that no-one else got hurt. I couldn’t stand it if they were” Alice placed her arm around Bella in reassurance. Bella looked exhausted, in pain and upset. “ Everyone is fine Bella. You need to concentrate on getting yourself better."

Bella looked at me. “ I know you didn’t hurt him Edward. Thank you. You don’t know how much that means to me.” I froze at the meaning behind her words. She continued speaking “ If it wasn’t for all of you I wouldn’t be still alive. Thank you for saving me yet again.”

“ You shouldn’t have been there in the first place.” I said harshly and then walked out of the room so I didn’t have to look at the resulting hurt on her face.

Alice stayed with her and I paced outside the room. I hadn’t expected to see Jacob so soon so it was a shock when I came face to face with him. He had obviously come to see her as she had bid. None of us could deny her. I didn’t know how he had the gall to do so after what he had done. We stared at each other with undisguised hatred. It would only take one moment in time to finish of this mutt so that he could never hurt her again. I saw my thoughts reflected in his. We both wouldn’t do it though. We both wanted to keep our promises to Bella. She was what mattered here. I stepped aside so that he could walk into the room.

He stood by the doorway just as we had done previously. Alice stood up and kissed Bella goodbye promising to be back later. She whispered to Jacob as she passed by him so that Bella would not hear.
“ You are one lucky puppy Jacob Black. Try that again and nothing will save you.” She looked at him menacingly. “We are watching you.” I could always count on Alice. She always knew what I needed to hear.

I heard Bella softly say “ Oh Jake.” I saw him hesitate before he moved towards her. He placed his head near her shoulder on the bed and she placed her hand on his head, stroking his hair in comfort. She was talking softly to him but I removed myself from the scene. It was not something I wanted to hear or see. If I hadn’t been sure before, I was now certain. She loved him and there was nothing I could do. “ I am going to hunt” I growled at Alice and I strode outside into the blackness of night.


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