The day my life ended, was the day my life began. They say when you feel nothing, your soul is free. The problem with this is that your mind never forgets, your thoughts consume with fire…burning for eternity, never to allow your soul to be…really…free.
Sometimes I forget that I died, sometimes I forget what happened, but sometimes the rage overcomes me to the point of no return. My story is a hard one to listen to. I hope whoever is reading this will be patient with how I need to unfold the layers of my life.
Every life has a purpose, but sometimes they are sniffed out before they have a chance to blossom.
My will couldn’t withstand the pain any longer. The horrible things they had done became too much. Darkness was falling on my swollen battered eyes and I couldn’t stop it. Their voices…I would never forget their voices. My limbs broken and disfigured; bones shattered, pain searing through every inch of me for their own private pleasure. What had I done to deserve such hate? I asked myself this on a daily basis. What did I do so terrible that my life had to end? These questions unfortunately will never get answered. I wanted my life…I begged for it, but it fell on deaf ears for their only quest was to punish me to the depths of darkness for eternity. My heart no longer beats as a human, but my life still exists in another way that I never knew it could.
I am now in this new life because of her. Her name is Rosalie. After all her help, I could not stay with her. I was stuck in my own misery of what happened. Rosalie told me that something very similar had happened to her as well and that a part of me will be able to forget and move on as she had done, but I knew my hatred had grown too much to allow myself to do so. I am now twenty six years old in this new life and still have yet been able to get passed it. I see others of my kind from time to time, but I never stick around them for very long. My sanity had turned into insanity. I wanted so much to kill them myself, but that chance was taken from me. Rosalie killed them off before I had a chance to change completely.
Rosalie's remorse towards what had happened to me became a motherly obsession; one that I couldn’t bare at the time. I left Rosalie’s side at the ripe age of two. She didn’t do anything wrong really, it was more that I couldn’t get passed my rage. Not the newborn rage; this rage was different; this was pure hate for any man that dare to do this to anyone else. I purposely drew myself to these men; essentially turning the tables on them. Small towns, big cities, it didn’t matter where; all the humans thanked whoever it was that was getting rid of the scum. Their rape and abuse statistics went down dramatically. They…loved me. I had grown to hate men of all sorts, even my own kind. Yes, I could fight them off with what I accumulated for abilities, but I just couldn’t allow myself to become in close proximity to anyone. I had become a loner; destined to lurk in the shadows; waiting for my prey that always came out in the night as I did. I never had to go a night without feeding, especially in the cities. There was always enough bad blood to go around; to satisfy my every waking need to throw the trash out.
In human years, I would be forty five by now. Probably with a husband and children, living a good life; waiting for old age to set in. This would never happen now. Taking that away from me fueled my desire to kill even more. I looked at every aspect of what my life would have been like if it were different. What I missed out on. My parents, a wedding, show casing me as the happy bride, giving birth, my children’s birthday parties, possibly watch my grandchildren grow. Those sorts of things I would never have because of men like them. These thoughts fueled the intense burn to kill as many as possible. I knew that I would roam this planet alone forever. I had planned on it. I wanted it. I accepted it in the end. I was happy with the job I had been given.
In my quest to search for a new area with new prey, I ran into Rosalie and her new husband Emmett. When she changed me, I didn’t realize that I was her first to change someone. Emmett being her second and the last.
Please let me know whether or not I should continue with this story. This will be in Bella’s point of view. I know I'm crazy. I'm guessing I don't need a show of hands to tell me that. This was a story that I began years ago and never finished it. I have four chapters written, but from that point, I will need to write more if anyone wants to read on.
sounds pretty good and very interesting, can't wait to read your next update!
I do hope you will enjoy it, but as I warned in my outgoing mail, it is very different, so I hope it keeps your attention.
i love it as always!!! morrrrreeee:)
Thanks! So happy to see you. Updating today, lol.
Wow Delilah, this story is absolutely amazing. I was sucked in immediately and just wanted to keep reading more and more. I really love your writing, which I think you know by now, and I am so impressed by the fact that you can write so many different genres. I really can't wait to see where this goes. The plot is interesting, and it is refreshing to have Bella's P.O.V. Keep up the great work!
Twi, how are you? I missed you so much. Hm, amazing? How about just different, lol? You know, I never noticed that I could write in different genres so much before until you mentioned it. Huh...A little stumped on that one, lol. I just know that when a story idea hits me, it takes hold and I can't move from it.
I do have to say though that I really have to be careful on what goes into this particular story. It has some great elements to it, but for this specific story on this site, it may be pushing the envelope, so I hope that I can keep posting it here without going over that pg rating. We will see. Keep your fingers crossed. There is one chapter that I most worried about and I think I may have to do some tweaking to keep to the pg, so it may not be as good as the other.
Chapter One: One heck of a curveball
Hidden in the vast forest; I traveled looking for my new home. Nightfall was descending. My hearing could stretch for miles; I could hear the sounds of the animals sleeping in their slumber, some out looking for food. I could hear the heavy footsteps of large animals pressing their weight into the thick soil as they creped across the undisturbed land. The smell of overgrown moss lingered in the air everywhere. The air became thick with moisture the further I traveled. Thunderheads were looming above me, casting a dark picture of my life. I found an empty bear haven to wait it out. Stuck with only my thoughts and the sound of the storm; I wanted to feel the way I used to when I heard a storm coming. Like most humans; storms were relaxing to me. I knew I would fail in my attempt to recreate my human moment, but it was worth a shot. I had nothing else to do. I rested against the equally cold ground; laid my head on a large boulder; closing my eyes, I wanted so much to be able to sleep in my own slumber.
My thoughts surrounded my old bed; the comfort of the blanket warming me for the night’s dreams that would soon come. Dreams…I miss them dearly. Your subconscious swirling with ideas that you would have never thought of; of course the occasional nightmare which would make you realize just how vulnerable you really were. Humans; they had this misconception that they were the smartest and nothing could touch them. I was once one of them. I truly was smart for a human; exceeding my peers. Thoughts of my human life pained me, but I would lose my past if I didn’t think of it every once in a while. The cruel irony in thinking of those days was that it also brought up what eventually happened to me in the end. Relaxation gave way to heartache of my lost soul; to the fear I felt; then finally to the pain I endured and the bitterness that would soon follow. Hatred for what was taken from me against my will surrounded my thoughts. I stood instantaneously with anger; thrashing the inside of the haven I lounged in. I cursed the men that threw me into the pit of hell. In the middle of my relapse; I smelled something coming in my direction.
A bear looking was looking to retreat away from his predator. Immediately I stood outside of the haven; waiting for him. I could hear his steps pounding the wet terrain; his breath labored with fear. Fear of what though, was my thought. I had to stay focused on the bear then his predator. One hundred yards…seventy five…fifty…I crouched as droplets of rain covered me completely within seconds. The bear had seen me now; even with fear of what was chasing him, he raced towards me like a bulldozer. Instantly I jumped; reaching above what he could even think about matching. I landed on his shoulders; placing one hand on his jaw as the other was behind his massive head. One smooth quick jerk and the sound of a snap and the bear was no more; he dropped suddenly to the earth under the heavy weight he carried. As if I had rehearsed this scenario, as he dropped, I landed softly atop his broken form. Standing still as his predator followed not far behind.
That one was mine.
I knew then why the bear was full of fear. I turned to face off with one of my own kind. I could hear him out there; whining because I had taken down the bear. I laughed then said,
“You were too slow. Who are you?”
Childlike, he walked until he reached about ten feet in front of me. His demeanor was playful, but also, curious and unsure of whom I was. “Without further ado’, I am Emmett. May I ask who you are?” Sarcasm laced his playful voice while he rested one hand behind him and the other towards me as he bowed; obviously trying to make a mockery out of me.
“No need to know who I am. What do you want?”
“You took my bear from me; I was having some fun with him. Now I have to start all over again.”
He literally reminded me of a child. I couldn’t help what came out of me next. “Awe, would you like mommy to buy you another one?” who has the sarcasm now?
“That’s not very funny. I was playing with him for over twenty minutes now. My dinner is gone.”
“Wait…did you just say dinner?”
Abruptly, he said that he needed to go. His face turned into one of confusion. I heard him say that he said too much. Now I was confused. How could a bear possibly be his dinner? Before I could speak; he told me that I would do good by not staying around here; then he left. The consumption of animals played in my mind. I couldn’t let this go. I needed to follow him…I had to follow him. He left me no choice. He led me to another one that was with him. A tall skinny guy; there were markings of all sorts covering his skin. This one was in many battles from what I could tell. I had never seen anything like him before. He stood there calmly against an old tree; waiting for this Emmett to come back. I overheard Emmett telling him that I was out here somewhere and that my eyes were red. Why would he say that? All of our eyes were…How did I not notice that before? Their eyes are not like mine; a light caramel tone. I wanted to think on this more, but this other one was listening for me. He stood like an old soldier would have; ready to attack at any given moment.
“Call Edward...” The one with markings said to Emmett. Great; there’s another one out here to worry about. Maybe following him was not such a good idea on my part. This Edward that they called was there quickly; also searching for me. I don’t mean any harm. Why are they acting like this? The one they called Edward relaxed his stance with a smile. Then saying…
“She’s harmless, she’s just curious. Whoever you are; go back.”
Who was he to tell me what to do? Reluctantly, I did as he said. I began walking back; distracted by his unreasonable request. I tossed around the idea of going back from where I came or following them without their permission. My stubbornness won me over. I followed far behind them; listening to their conversation as they walked. I would have thought they were human brothers by the way they interacted with one another. The horse playing back and forth was comical. I enjoyed watching them, but as much fun as it was they were still men and not to be trusted. The longer we walked; the longer I began to believe they roamed as I did, until I took notice of their clothing. Too clean…too new…too polished to be like me. If they weren’t like me then why were they so far out in the middle of nowhere? The storm was miles away, but I could still hear it as if it hung overhead. My hair strung in every direction; my clothes clung to me, wet and sticky. Finally I saw their destination. They were heading towards a discreet house far off from the main paved road. The three of them walked down a small path leading to the backyard; reaching the door and entering. I stayed back far enough that they would not know that I was out there. I wanted to listen to them (the peeping tom that I am).
I consoled myself as I thought of how different they were dressed than I. Most of our kind dressed in dark colors; cloaks even in some cases. Others lived on whatever they could take from their prey. I took their money and bought just the basics; things that wouldn’t make me stand out. Usually a hoodie and a pair of jeans did it for me. Covering my face most of the time as I walked down the dark discrete alleys; using myself as prey to lure them; waiting patiently for a sick deranged human to follow me. Taking their lives was pleasurable. No human girl would be hurt by them anymore. That was the greatest satisfaction. Saving their lives from human’s that did not deserve to live.
Having to feel their sickness as I did it was another matter. The bristles of their beards brushing up against my cheek; feeling the evil ooze from their pours onto my skin as I held them down; draining them from a life that should have never been. Everywhere I have lived; I always chose to live in a beaten down apartment. I never needed to buy furniture or bedding. The only thing I ever bought was a small television to keep me company until night fell; always leaving the television behind when moving to a new area. It was easier to run without any baggage to carry. I didn’t have a car; didn’t have the need to have one as others. I enjoyed searching for my new home on foot. It made it easier for me to find hidden locations that weren’t so easy to see. Sometimes in more wooded areas such as the one that I am in now; I would find an old shack to stay in; only leaving to go to the closest town at night. I have traveled to small towns before; the sick and disturbed men can be found there just the same; just not as many. As I came to this area; I saw a sign on the side of the road that said there was a town called Forks nearby and also a reservation named La Push. I would be visiting both soon.
Climbing a tree to get a better view of my surroundings; I heard this Edward say ‘she followed us.’ The next thing I knew, this man came running out of the house; darting in my direction so fast…faster than I had ever seen one of our kind. I jumped from the tree, knowing that my cover was blown, but couldn’t figure out how he knew from inside of the house. I stood in a defensive crouch immediately as I landed my feet on the wet soiled ground. By the time I landed; he was there mirroring my stance. Emmett and five others came running behind.
“Who are you? Why did you follow us?” the man said.
As much as I hated to admit this; he was strikingly gorgeous. I couldn’t pull myself out of my reverie to answer him. Then I heard him respond to what I said which I did not say verbally.
“I don’t care how gorgeous I am to you. I want to know why you’re here.”
I knew then how he knew I was out here. He could read my mind. I giggled aloud at this. He thought he was sharp. I thought about answering him back only in thought to his rude comment, but I wanted to play with him for a while. If he knew that I could read minds as he does, it wouldn’t be as much fun. I wanted to hear his thoughts about me more. Rosalie stood before him with arms stretched, separating us. “Edward, leave her alone.” I was stunned into silence seeing Rosalie for the first time in twenty four years. She knew these others?
“Why should I? Did you not see her eyes? Why would you defend her, Rose? She is nothing to you.”
“Edward, I do know her. She is the one I told all of you about. You know; the first person I changed.”
I watched with humiliation as everyone gasped in my direction. How could Rosalie tell anyone about what happened to me? All it took was one thought of this and I hightailed it out of there; running the same way I came. I would never forgive her for that. I ran as fast as I could until I reached at least two miles out. When I began to slow down; my fury for what she had done became worse. I reached a small clearing; trees surrounded me. Being so distraught by Rosalie’s actions; I tore into the trees releasing the anger I had. Screaming aloud; cursing my own maker. Hearing the sounds of the trees crackle against my strength fighting to stay alive; I stopped. After I crumbled the poor trees (about six of them), I fell to my knees sobbing dry tears. I just couldn’t understand how she thought it was alright to ever speak a word to anyone about my horrible circumstances.
I feel sorry for her.
By instinct; I turned to see who else was here. Without another thought; I searched the clearing as I went into my usual defensive mode. On the other side of the clearing; this Edward, slowly walked from behind a tree and stood at the base of the clearing; hands shown in a submissive way.
“I’m not following you to hurt you. I am here for Rosalie’s sake.”
I immediately retaliated. “For Rosalie’s sake…? Go away. I have nothing to say to her after what she has done.”
“What exactly is it that she has done to offend you?”
I couldn’t believe it. He was still going to try and convince me to talk about this. He doesn’t listen too well. I turned my back to him, trying to get him to understand. I heard him smirk about my thoughts, but I didn’t care; I wanted him to hear that. I could hear him walk closer to the middle of the clearing. I stood my ground and would not turn to him.
“It’s Bella, correct?”
…I had absolutely nothing to say.
“Alright, I’ll talk then. The only thing that Rosalie ever spoke of was that you were her first to change someone.”
I scanned his thoughts to see if it was true, but then in a panic, I realized that he could read minds. Even if she did not speak a word of it; if she ever thought about when she found me, he would know about it. Scanning his thoughts wouldn’t work. He won this battle. I turned to him. In doing so, I almost lost my balance as if I were still human; he was beautiful in all sense of the word. I quickly stripped that from my mind; not to allow him the pleasure of my personal thoughts.
“Is that the truth?”
“Because if it isn’t; I will find out eventually.”
“It is the truth. I would not lie to you about something that seems so serious. Rosalie is upset; we should go back.”
“If she is so upset than why didn’t she come after me?”
“I offered to help.”
“I don’t need any help and why would you offer? You don’t know me.”
“I know Rosalie; you’re a friend of hers and someone that she was hoping to see again. That makes us acquaintances by a mutual friend. I can also see that you don’t need any help by what chaos you have created here. Can we please return to Rosalie; she is really upset. “
I stood there not comprehending my emotions. I knew I had to go back and fix this if it were true and find the time to be alone away from this man, so I could think alone. It’s one thing to be in other people’s head, but I won’t allow it with tables turned. I agreed to go back. We walked in silence for the first half. I kept my thoughts quiet; I drew a blank on purpose. He smiled when he realized what I was doing.
I acted my part and asked why he was smiling. Knowing everything would be alright, I still wanted to play with him. I could see that Rosalie never mentioned anything about what I could do, so this would be fun. I wondered how much she thought about me with him around. I hoped that it wasn’t much. No one should see that.
“So…you know that I read minds?” His beautiful voice asked.
“It really isn’t that hard to figure out.”
“You don’t want me to read your thoughts?”
“I gathered that by the empty thoughts.”
“Let’s keep it that way.”
I knew he was lying about that part. As much as I try not to do that to others; I couldn’t help it. He will listen and so will I. This should be fun. As we reached the end of the trail; Rosalie was standing there. I walked up to her with my head down. She didn’t speak, but her thoughts told me that she felt really awful. I decided I should speak first.
“Is it true?”
“What do you mean?”
“Is it true that you never told them about what happened to me?”
“Bella, look at me. I would never speak a word of that to anyone. “
I scanned her thoughts for any delayed reaction to her own statement, but there was none. I came clean then, explaining that I was sorry for my overreaction earlier. I told her that I had one really big question that had been eating at me since I spoke to this Emmett. The man that walked me back began laughing aloud. I ignored him. I then asked my question aloud to her; she laughed to. I didn’t think it was very funny; on the contrary. Rosalie walked with me through a garden of flowers in the back yard as the man followed behind, no doubt to give commentary. As she explained it all to me, I was shocked. How could they survive on the blood of animals? It was unheard of, or so I thought. I asked a few more questions about it and received some odd answers that I would have to follow up on later. Other than that, I was strangely comfortable with the concept. It may have been shocking, but if that was what they wanted, so be it. It wasn’t for me though. I knew what I wanted and that was to get rid of the human monsters out there.
Rosalie was excited to introduce me to her family, as she called it. That was another one I would wait for later to get filled in on. She began by introducing me to the man that caught me following them.
“Bella, this is Edward Cullen, my new brother.”
As I went to speak, Edward beat me to it. He reached his hand out to shake mine as he said. “Hello Bella, Will you be here long?” While we shook, I went to speak, but his thoughts interrupted me. Beautiful… she’s simply beautiful; a shower would do her good though. I almost smiled hearing the first part, but then something triggered me to stand back without a word. I could feel my anger building. My thoughts flowed easily. I knew he would hear them, but I didn’t care. He did not know me and this would be his first lesson; he needed to know how I felt about men. He’s a man, he can’t be trusted. I repeated this enough times that he, too, walked a few steps back with his head down; confused and worried whether or not I should be here. His thoughts of; why would she think this of me? I didn’t care. Gorgeous or not; he needed to learn to stay away from me. It would be better for him not to get close.
Rosalie saw my tension and decided to escort me into the house to meet everyone else. Edward followed behind; this time I heard him thinking about what could have happened to me to make me distrust all men. I ignored it as Rosalie spoke of the rest of her ‘family’. Tension circulated in my core as we walked. I wasn’t used to being around my own kind for very long. Rosalie would make it her priority to make me feel comfortable and wanted, which made me discontent. I was an observer; I would rather stand in a corner and just watch them, then when I got bored, I would leave. Rosalie was not going to let this happen, so…tense; I was.
Some interesting twists and turns in the story. It will be interesting to see how things develop. Keep my updated.
I love this new story! I like that way it seems to be going. I cant wait for more!
OMG!!! Love it!!! Please update soon!!!!
Great update! I can't wait to read your next one! you are a really good writer. please update again soon.