Hey, readers of the world :) This story is about what I thought would have happened after Breaking Dawn. I posted this story a long time ago, but it was deleted for some reason and I've decided to repost the story, considering I have it all saved. I'm actually already started on the sequel, but that got deleted, too, so I'll post this one while I post for the other story. So enjoy Renesmee's Diary :)
***Sequel to this story, Never Again: http://thetwilightsaga.com/group/fanfiction/forum/topics/never-agai... ***
I felt myself mumble incoherently in my sleep, turn to my side, and sigh before falling into deep unconsciousness.
My dream was amazing. I was on La Push Beach, my slender, teenage body sitting down on the sand as I looked up at the stars suspended above me. I don't know why I was there, but I couldn't take my eyes off the beautiful night sky. All the stars were brightening the sky with their beautiful lights. The stars twinkled in such a way that seemed impossible for human eyes (or in my case, vampire eyes) to ever see. Soon, only two stars were twinkling, dazzling me with their luminous sparkle.
The stars began to dance in the sky, dancing to their own inaudible beat. They jumped, hopped, twirled, turned, soared, through the dark sky, morphing into a familiar figure. I watched as the stars made their way into the figure. I soon recognized it to be a body, a man's body. The stars landed into place as they made his hair, his high cheekbones, his soft, gentle, smiling face, and eyes. He was tall, maybe seven feet, with a muscular frame and build. The stars showed that he was wearing a plain t-shirt and shorts, his feet completely bare. I looked into the eyes once more and immediately recognized them.
I smiled as the stars morphed into the figure of my best friend, Jacob. Once the portrait was finished, the stars morphed to life, having Jacob's face smile even wider at me. I smiled back and waved at him. Jacob waved back. The stars seemed to be getting closer, bringing Jacob towards me. The Jacob that was made of stars walked out of the sky and jumped onto the sand where I stood, smiling again.
Soon, Jacob and I were mere inches apart. He held up his finger, a motion for me to wait. I nodded and waited. The stars swirled around him in one fast motion and, soon, Jacob was in front of me, flesh and blood. He smiled at me again and sighed contently.
I blushed, the same blush my mother once had, and said, "Hey, Jacob."
He looked just as he'd always been. He had a smiling face; his russet colored skin was beautiful in the dim light. I looked into his eyes and sighed contently. His impossibly dark eyes were twinkling like the stars in the sky, making me melt as his eyes bored into my chocolate brown eyes.
Jacob wrapped his muscular arms around me, giving me a loving hug. I hugged him back, laying my head on his chest and closing my eyes. I couldn't have felt safer, more secure in his arms.
I felt him nuzzle his face into my bronze hair as he sighed, "Renesmee."
I hugged him tighter, making sure he won't disappear in my hold. I was afraid that the moment I let him go will be the moment he leaves me, the moment where I'm left standing in the middle of the beach with no one at my side. Because though Jacob and I are only supposed to be best friends, I've always felt that we were supposed to be more. It's in my thoughts, in my dreams, in everything that has to do with him. And I can't ever live if he left me.
A tear escaped from my eye at the thought of not having Jacob with me here. Jacob looked at me with sorrow filled eyes.
"Why are you crying, Nessie?" I shake my head, closing my eyes, and laying my head to his chest once more. He cups his finger under my chin, raising my gaze to his so that I'm forced to look at him.
He asked me, "Are you okay, Renesmee?"
I nod my head. "I just... I don't want you to leave me, Jacob. I mean, my father left my mother at one point when both their lives were in danger and I just... can't handle the thought of you leaving me."
I start to sob, letting go of his warm embrace and turning the opposite way; I hate crying in front of him because I know it only makes him sad.
But instead of leaving me alone, Jacob took me in his arms once again, holding me close to him. I tried to wriggle free of his hold, but I gave up and sobbed into his shirt.
He said, "Renesmee, I could never leave you. You're so important to me. I would never leave you, Renesmee. I'll always be by your side. I'm not going anywhere. Not without you."
I looked up into his dark eyes again; He was looking at me back, his eyes full of sorrow and grief.
I asked, "Do you promise?"
He smiled. "I promise."
Jacob leaned in and kissed a tear from my cheek. I smiled and laid my head on his chest again.
I could hear his heartbeat ringing through my eardrums. It was a sound so familiar, so remarkably different from any other heartbeat I've heard; I could hear it from miles away, knowing that it's Jacob. I sighed and let him kiss the top of my head.
"You worry about the strangest things, Nessie," he said, smiling again.
I looked up at him and laughed gently. "Shut up, Jacob." We both laughed.
Then, Jacob looked at me, his eyes brooding and determined.
"Nessie," he sighed.
I asked, "Yes, Jacob?"
He didn't say anything. He leaned his face in closer to mine. I felt his forehead rest on mine as I closed my eyes. I could hear our shallow breathing, waiting for this moment to finally happen in our lives.
I heard him chuckle silently as he said, "Renesmee, I love you."
I smiled. My heart was filled with so much love and I had been longing for him to utter those words. And to finally hear him say them makes my heart fill with so much relief, but also longing to return the words to him.
"Jacob, I love you, too," I whisper to him.
I opened my eyes to see his reaction. His eyes, also open, were so light and buoyant, so filled with everlasting love. He smiled, grasped my waist and twirled me in the air. I laughed and we embraced each other amorously.
He said, his voice filled with relief and love, "You have no idea how long I've been waiting to hear that."
I smiled and said, "I think I know."
He took another look at me and sighed. "Nessie."
I sighed, too. "Jake."
He chuckled and leaned in once more, our foreheads touching again. I smiled and closed my eyes, waiting. His lips brushed against my cheek before kissing my cheek, His lips traveled to my own where they hesitated for a moment. Then, his lips finally met mine, crushing them with passion and love. I kissed him back, my hands sliding to his chest as I grabbed his shirt, pulling him closer to me. He chuckled in response and held me tight to him.
I couldn't have asked for anything more perfect in this entire world than Jacob. He makes me laugh, he makes me smile, he cares for me so much, he never judges me, he'll do what I ask him, and, most importantly, he's my best friend.
My hands slid around his neck, clasping together so that he was prisoner in my arms. His hands slid down to my waist. I sighed in contentment. I didn't want anything more than to be with Jacob, He was everything to me and I could never let him go.
Then, when everything was going just about perfect...
"Nessie... Nessie... RENESMEE, WAKE UP!!!"
My eyes flung wide open and I nearly jumped off my bed. I looked around, alarmed, when I saw Alice and, ironically, Jacob standing at the foot of my queen-sized bed.
My Aunt Alice (I just call her Alice sometimes since I look like I could be her age) looked at me and smiled.
"Good, you're awake," her sweet pixie voice said.
I rolled my eyes. "Gee, I wonder what might have woken me up."
Jacob and Alice laughed. Alice said, "Happy 2nd Birthday, Renesmee!"
I furrowed my eyebrows and looked at my digital clock on my nightstand. "Is it September 10th already," I asked, mostly to myself.
Alice frowned. "Man, you and Bella are not one for birthdays, are you?"
Jacob and I laughed. "I guess not," I said. Alice rolled her eyes.
"Well, we have to get to birthday shopping! It's your special day, buy whatever you want."
I rolled my eyes. "It's not like you don't give me the option to waste money."
Alice laughed. "Yes, but this time, you're buying and I'm consenting. Now, let's go! The mall in Seattle starts at nine and that’s first before we hit the designers' places." She skipped out the door. Jacob sat beside me.
"So, anything special planned for today," he asked, his deep, husky voice just as familiar as in my dream.
I smiled and shook my head. "Nope. Why? Did you have something you wanted to do with me today?"
He shrugged. "It's nothing we need to discuss right now. Maybe after..." he trailed off.
I asked, "After what?"
He laughed. "I wasn't supposed to tell you this... but Alice is planning a big surprise party for you today."
I sighed. "Alice just loves an excuse to throw a party, doesn't she?"
Jake laughed. "You'll get used to it after a while." I laughed, too.
Jake got off the bed, bowed and offered his hand out to me, saying in a formal voice, "Well, would you like to join me in walking to the house, Ms. Renesmee?"
I laughed, jumped out of bed, and curtsied, though I was wearing black shorts and a white tank top, and mimicked the same voice as he did. "Why, Mr. Jacob, it would be my honor."
He says, in his normal voice, "The pleasure is all mine, believe me." I looked at him and I knew he wasn't kidding. He was serious. I blushed and took his hand. We walked out of my house, hand in hand, and I couldn't have felt happier.
haha. Thanks :)
haha. thanks :)
Jake and I walked to my family's house. Jacob said, "So, Nessie, what do you want to do for your birthday?"
I sighed. "No one's given me the option, apparently."
Jake smiles. "Well, I'll try to make that happen. Wherever you want, whatever you want. I'll try to rein Alice in. Except for the party. I have to take you to the party."
I smiled. "You really want to know what I would want to do?" Jacob nodded. I answered, "I just want to spend the whole day with you. La Push, a movie, lunch. I want to go anywhere, as long as I'm with you." Jake smiled. I smiled back.
I knew that my mom and dad wouldn't want me to start dating, let alone, dating one of their best friends, but I just can't keep it a secret anymore. I really like Jacob. He's like sunshine to me. When he's with me, everything's brighter, better, happier. I couldn't have asked for a better friend than Jacob.
But just as I was ready to tell him that, he said, "We're here at the house." I smiled. My mother and father looked out the window, smiling at me. I smiled back. Then, my father looked at mine and Jacob's hand intertwined. He looked at Jacob, almost furious. Jacob rolled his eyes and shook his head. I looked at Jacob, furrowing my eyebrows.
"What are you telling him?"
Jacob looked at me and quickly said, "Nothing, nothing." I just looked at him, still waiting for an answer. He sighed. "I'll tell you soon. I promise. Just, not now." I nod. I wouldn't forget. I heard Jacob mutter, "Just as impatient as her mom." I laughed and smacked his shoulder playfully.
"Shut up, Jacob." We both laughed; my mom was pretty stubborn.
Jacob said, "Well, I'd better go talk to Alice." He was about to take off until he stopped, came back to me, and kissed my cheek. I looked at him incredulously, watching how the smiled spread across his face. Then, I smiled, too, blushing deep red. He said, "Happy Birthday," before jogging inside.
I stayed there, smiling. I was about to think about what that kiss must have meant, but then I remembered that daddy had mind reading abilities. He peered at me through the window, looking suspicious. I rolled my eyes.
Nothing to worry about, Daddy, I thought to him.
I heard him chuckle and mumble, "We'll see, Renesmee." I furrowed my eyebrows, but he just shook his head, telling me that we'll talk about it later. I nodded and walked inside.
I walked into the living room where everyone was. I mean everyone. I saw Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper by the vase, talking about Alice and Jasper's Anniversary coming up. My mom and dad were talking to Carlisle and Esme in hushed tones, no doubt about my birthday. Alice and Jacob must be talking upstairs or something. Embry, Seth, Collin, Brady, Quil, and Jared were watching football, lounging on the couch and on the floor. Sam, Paul, and Leah were suggesting some strategies about some vampire scent that they found, but they didn't know if it was a minor threat or not. The living room was packed, but it still looked like we could fit more people in here. Probably because of all the guests that came to support us in the fight against the Volturi.
Not wanting attention brought to me, I sat on the couch in between Seth and Embry, my other two best guy friends besides Jacob. They smiled at each other before shouting loudly together, "Happy Birthday, Renesmee!" I looked at them and shushed them, but it was too late.
Everyone looked at me simultaneously, smiled, and all echoed, "Happy Birthday, Renesmee."
I brought my knees up to my face and buried my head in them. I mumbled, "Thanks, Embry, Seth. That so helps." They both laughed.
Embry said, "Your welcome. Jeez, what is it with you and your mom and birthdays?" He chuckles.
Seth said, "Yeah. They’re not that bad, Nessie. You get to do more things now that you're older."
I looked at him and said, "I'm a two year old in a sixteen year olds’ body."
Seth shrugged. "So? It's not like you go to school or anything, since your parents teach you about everything. Imagine? Your classmates would see how much you’re growing and aging, right before their eyes. That would be pretty creepy, don't you think?"
I shrugged, too. "I guess. That would be pretty weird."
Embry chuckled. "When is anything not weird around here?"
Seth and I laughed. "That's true," I said.
I got up from the couch and walked over to my parents and my grandparents. Esme hugged me warmly. "Happy birthday, sweetie." I smiled and hugged her, too. Grandma Esme knew how to make anyone feel welcome and at home.
"Thank you, Grandma." She looked at me and smiled. I knew she liked being called grandma and caring for kid, because she never had a kid herself.
Then, Carlisle smiled at me and hugged me. "Happy birthday, Renesmee."
I smiled and said to my grandpa, "Thank you."
He looked at me, sizing me up. "Your growth seems to be slowing tremendously. I'm certain you'll stop before your next birthday."
I smiled. "That's good."
Then, I turned to my mother and father. My mom, the most beautiful woman in the world, besides Rosalie, looked at me and smiled. I smiled at her. After living with her for two years and having the perfect vampire memory, I'm still surprised at her beauty. I take in her slender figure, her long, wavy brown hair that almost reaches to her waist, her beautiful pale face that holds her incredible golden eyes.
I sighed. "Mom."
She took me in her arms. "Happy birthday, Renesmee, my beautiful daughter."
I closed my eyes and hugged her, too. I felt the tears threatening to spill, but I pulled them back before they could come out. She pulled back and looked at me. She looked like she was about to cry, too.
"It seems like just yesterday, Jacob was teaching you how to ride your bicycle," she said, remembering.
I laughed. "Yeah. I guess it's always like that since I grow so fast now." We both laughed. I placed my hand in hers and replayed that memory again.
It was Jake and I, out in La Push Beach and mom was watching from far away so I wouldn't get too nervous. I was a six months old, but I was the size of a six year old. I looked so nervous; I was shaking with fear in my seat on my little bike that Grandpa Charlie bought me. Jacob looked at me in my frightened state and laughed. I glared at him.
He quickly stopped and said, "Okay, Nessie, all you have to do is keep pedaling. And when you want to stop, press the brakes on the handle bars and land on one of your feet. Like this." He demonstrated with his huge, black motorcycle how I should. He pressed the brakes that were just over the handle bars and leaned on his right foot. I nodded, but didn't move on my bike.
Jacob bent over to meet my face. "Nessie, what are you afraid of?"
I looked down from his piercing gaze and concentrated on the floor, embarrassed. "Falling, not being able to stop, running into a bush or a car or a tree or something, riding in the street and getting run over, riding off a cliff." They were all stupid reasons, but I was afraid.
Jacob cupped his finger under my chin, forcing me to look into his eyes. I tried to avoid him at first, but, in the end, I surrendered and looked at him. That's the first time I noticed that his eyes weren't black, but just a dark brown that could only be seen in the light.
Jacob said to me, "Nessie, do you really think I would let that happen to you?"
I shrugged, trying to look down again. "What if you're not fast enough to get me?"
Jacob chuckled. "Do you really think I'm not fast enough to get you?" He laughed. I blushed, feeling embarrassed.
Jacob stood up and said, "I'll hold on to the back of your bike and help you. Just keep pedaling and I'll be right behind you. I promise you."
I nodded and waited until his hand was at the back of my seat before I pedaled. I pedaled down the sidewalk. I felt the wind whipping my face, coursing through my hair. I saw the passing houses that seemed to blur. I kept riding for a few blocks, maybe for a good ten minutes.
Then, when I wanted to turn around, I said, "Jacob," but when I turned, he was nowhere to be found.
Instinctively, I panicked and turned my bike around, looking around for Jacob.
"Jacob," I called out until I stopped a house that I had passed a few minutes before. He was sitting on the grass, looking at the street. I stopped on my bike and looked at him incredulously.
I asked him, "Where were you? I was looking for you!"
He smiled at me. "Nessie, you learned how ride, turn, and stop a bike."
I furrowed my eyebrows and then got it. He let go of me because he knew that I could do it all by myself. I smiled. "I did it! I did it! I learned how to ride a bike!" I was jumping around and smiling.
Jake laughed. "Yes, you did, Nessie." I smiled at him and jumped onto him, giving him a big hug.
And from a distance, I saw my mom watching us and smiling at me.
I came back to reality and looked at my mom. She sighed and smiled. "I miss those days."
I laughed. "I do, too, mom."
Then, I looked at my dad. He was smiling that crooked smile that my mom loves so much and that women still swoon over (but that's before they know he has a wife and daughter). He and my mother were the most beautiful vampires I've ever known. My mom's beauty matches perfectly with my dad, making them look like a matching set. He had tousled bronze hair that might look messy on a regular guy, but it looked amazing on my dad. He had pale skin and golden eyes framed by long eyelashes, just like all my vampire family. He had a strong, hard jaw, a beautiful face, and a slightly muscled body (but his body didn't compare to Jacob's). He was just amazingly perfect, just as my other family.
He embraced me. "Happy birthday, Renesmee."
I smiled. "Thank you, daddy."
He chuckled. "Not in my life did I think I would have such a beautiful daughter."
I looked at him and rolled my eyes. "I'm not beautiful. Not like you and mom are and all the other vampires in the world are."
My father laughed. "Just like your mother. You both don't see yourselves very clearly."
My mom looked at my dad and rolled her eyes before sticking her tongue out at him childishly. I laughed. My dad looked at me again. "Also, you're beautiful like your mother. Don't you forget that."
I nodded. "Okay." he kissed my forehead before letting me leave.
I sat at the foot of the stairs and looked around at me family and friends. Then, Jacob sat beside me out of nowhere. I jumped in surprise. "Jeez, Jake, you're going to give me a heart attack."
He laughed. "Sorry, Nessie." I punched him playfully. He said, "Hey, I reined Alice in. You could do whatever you want today."
I widened my eyes. "Seriously? No shopping, just whatever I want?"
He smiled. "Yup."
I smiled and threw my arms around him. "Jake, you're absolutely the best friend I've ever had! Thank you!" He laughed and hugged me, too.
Then, he pulled away. "Are you ready to start your birthday?"
I smiled. "Hell, yeah!" He laughed. I looked down at my PJs. I blushed and asked, "Can we stop by at my house, first? I don't think that I should be walking around in my PJs all day."
Jake chuckled and said, "Sure." We took off out the door, hand in hand once again.