The Twilight Saga

Seattle Girl (A.K.A. My Twillight fan fiction that DESPERATELY NEEDS YOUR FEEDBACK! Please!)

Hey guys! Thanks for taking the time to look at this!

   I'm obviously not finished with this fan fiction, and because of these errors it may seem at first glance dissapointing and an awful waste of your time, but that's why I need your help to improve it!    

   If anyone has any ideas on it, let me know, please!

   I think the plot starts at the beginning of breaking Dawn, unless graduation happened in Eclipse...The plot is about me, a run away teen from Seattle, and Jacob. He finds me and takes me in while I discover the supernatural world.

   (Before you read it- Tabba=Bella. I wrote one of my best friends into the story at her request.)    

    Have fun, and if you get bored or confused or ANYTHING please let me know with complete, utter and sincere honesty! I want to figure out how I can improve this! Which means I need lots of feedback! Thank you guys!

      Kenzie Rose

 

New Updates:

I recently acquired an amazing banner.  Thanks to Vanessa over at GIMP!!!! As you can see, it's posted above. There's three pictures in it, and I took all of them here in the wonderful state of Washington!

 

Also- my friend Fiona (A.K.A. Eza Berkley) recently wrote this summary for Seattle Girl. I edited it a bit, though. Here's the finished product!

 

You never know what  to expect when you leave  home …

 

  When Kenzie, a mysterious teenager from Seattle, Washington,  flees her old life to a fresh one in practically the smallest town in the state, she expects to find the perfect place to reorganize her ideas. All she needs is time: time to re-group her feelings, time reorganize her thoughts,  and time to recover from her past… misconducts. Now is the time to do that- or so  she thinks.

  Instead, Kenzie meets Tabitha Swan, girlfriend of the equivocal Edward Cullen, and not too long after that, the audacious Jacob Black. Her new friends  entangle her in a realm that she  never thought existed. 

  All too quickly, the seventeen year old discovers that she is the center of a tragic Quileute prophecy. In order to save the people she loves, Kenzie must sacrifice her newly perfect life in a  martyr-like downfall. But is she prepared to fulfill the prophecy and meet her demise? 

  Set in the intoxicatingly beautiful Pacific Northwest, vividly descriptive, and alluringly crafted, “Seattle Girl” is bound to keep you on your toes until your ears echo with it’s last dramatic note.

 

Summary Co-written by Kenzie Rose and Eza Berkley, Author of “Alice” and several chapters in Seattle Girl”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

   

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Thanks. That's more than three comments, but I kind of want more people to read this and reply first. If I get a comment from a different person, I'll put up more soon! Thanks for the support, though! :)
Hint: It's in Seattle and was built for the World Fair in the 1960s.
space needle
Yep! Finally, someone answered! Hey, did you read the story? Jusy wondering... I kind of want more feedback, but no one's giving any! (Besides Mrs. Black. Lol.)
yeah i read it, it was good.
Thank you! Okay, I'm calling that three and posting some more now!
space needle in seatelle washington
Finally, when I knew Jacob made the illegal u-turn and sped back to La Push, I slowed down, caught my breath, and dug out my watch from the front pocket of my brown backpack. Good, school started in fifteen minutes. We’d made good time.
A thundering roar off in the distance caught my attention. I turned around instinctively and got a mouthful of diesel smoke as a familiar red Chevrolet truck chugged towards me. An enormous smile lit up my face.
“Kenzie! Hey!” Tabba waved to me. She slowed down the truck, and I walked along with it.
“I see you fixed your Chevy!” I yelled over the machinery’s noise.. Wow, was that thing loud!
“Yeah, Edward’s sister Rosalie fixed it for me. Want a ride?”
“Nah, that’s okay. Might as well exercise; school’s not that far anyway.”
“Oh, okay then. So, Angela and I brought up- the subject of you yesterday. We’re planning a trip to see a movie in Port Angeles next Friday. Do you want to come along?”
A twinge of regret shot through my body.
“Sorry,” I apologized in advance, “but my …boyfriend and I are probably going out.”
“Oh, uh, that’s okay, “Tabba said regretfully. “We were just going to see this lame-o movie called Twilight or something, probably not even worth the trip, huh?”
“No, you should go!” I insisted warmly. I didn’t want to be the cause of the end to any bonding time for Tabba. “I’m sure you can salvage the night. Thanks for inviting me, anyway.”
“You’re welcome, Kenzie,” Tabba said. Suddenly, her eyes brightened mischievously. “So, who is this boy? Found anyone in Forks to be your liking?”
“Not quite in Forks,” I answered. “His name is Jacob, and he lives in La Push, actually. We’ve been in a relationship for a couple of weeks,” I said, figuring it enough to the truth to say.
I didn’t notice that Tabba’s face paled by about three shades until she hadn’t spoken for about thirty seconds. I stopped walking and looked back at the truck, which stood still in the road.
“Is something wrong?” I called back worriedly. Uh, oh.
Tabba shook her head as I ran hastily back to her. “I can’t believe this,” I saw her mouth. I finally reached hearing range. “J-Jacob? Jacob Black?” Tabba clarified in a shaky voice.
“Yeah…” Oh, man, what had I done? ”Why?”
Tabba tried to regain control of her emotions and shrugged like she didn’t care, though I read her easier than that. “You could say we went out at one time.”
“Ah,” I responded thoughtfully. “I get it.”
“Yeah,” Tabba said, to fill the silence. She started the truck again, “We’ve got ten minutes before- Kenzie!” She gasped.
“What?” I checked to make sure I’d remembered to put on a bra. Yeah…. Huh.
“Kenzie!” Tabba screamed at the top of her lungs. “Get out of the way!”
I spun and saw the out of control Volvo, a flash of gleaming metal, streaking at an alarming rate towards me. What the?
I didn’t know where to go! On the other side of the guard rail, a steep ravine sloped down to a small creek. I’d be cut up by blackberries if I made it past the guardrail, too, before the car smashed me into the metal. It was my only shot, though. I fled from the screeching tires and smell of burning rubber, adrenaline pushing me as fast as I could possibly go, leapt over the guardrail in one bound, and tumbled onto a bed of sharp, prickling thorns.
Just a half a second later, the Volvo smashed into the railing. I tried rolling out of the way, in case it toppled, but my clothing stuck to the thorns, which already embedded far into my skin. I gritted my teeth and held back a yelp.
The Volvo teetered dangerously. I held my breath and watched in horror-I couldn’t move! If it toppled over and slid down the ravine, I’d be directly in its path. I’d die.
Tears streamed silently down my face. I knew I wasn’t getting out of this one. Goodbye, world. I shut my eyes and prepared once again for death.
I heard a loud wrenching sound, then a thud.
The smell of smoke wafted up my nose. I waited, almost wishing my demise to come sooner so I didn’t have time to think about it, about how my bones would snap, and how I wouldn’t be able to breath because of the weight on top-
I had to look.
The car lay on the sidewalk, flat, like nothing happened, though smoke seeped up through the hood. A huge dent pushed into the silver side. I realized I made out Tabba’s voice, screaming frantically.
“Edward! You’ve got to get out! Kenzie’s down there! She’s bleeding!”
Then it hit me.
That Volvo belonged to Edward.
Edward Cullen wanted to kill me.

Questions flew through my mind as Jacob appeared at the guardrail. Sirens blared, lights flashed, Tabba screamed, and a cluster of FHS students peered down at me, but I didn’t care.
Why did Edwards make it out of the scene unharmed?
I already knew he possessed super-natural power, but I didn’t know he also repelled certain death.
How did Jacob arrive so fast, too? I thought he left me only about ten minutes ago. Who told him about this?
Was that Chief Swan? I couldn’t see. A film of moisture blurred my eyesight. I only made out vague shapes.
Time passed slowly, and eons drug on before I heard anyone attempt to rescue me. “Kenzie! Say something if you can hear us!” Jacob’s voice called down. Somebody turned off the sirens, and my boyfriend’s booming tone bounced down to me. I found it impossible to move my lips, though I wanted to. I’m here! I’m alive!
Edward…I thought weakly. But I didn’t know what to tell him. I just lay still, my mind a blank, white void.
“She’s gone into shock!” Jacob yelled while I stared at the sky. I heard him crash down ravine, followed by a chorus of “Sir, wait! You aren’t qualified to do this!”
I think I heard a distinctive grunt of pain, as Jacob stopped suddenly, then resumed barreling towards me. I knew he’d be at least fifteen minutes in order to actually locate me and dig me out of the thorns. And… was I bleeding from the head? I honestly couldn’t tell.
Edward, I thought again, thinking of Jacob and what I roped him into by agreeing to his proposal. I don’t blame you, really. I should be dead, and I am a horrible person.
But I’m trying to be better.
Thanks!
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Ok! Can do!
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