Bella tries to hide her secret from Edward, but when she becomes pregnant with Jacob, that becomes a little complicated. Realizing that life has whole new plans for her, Bella must face many disasters including loss, betrayal, pain, and tears. Will Edward find the heart to forgive her? How will Jacob react to the news? And what happens when it seems that the earth itself is determined to punish Bella with everything it has? Find out in Selfish, the first in its series.
***This banner was made by Claire J Darling***
The time was 6:45
So there I was. Kneeling on the floor like a pathetic, useless piece of nothingness. I was trying to imagine what my ceiling fan was seeing right now. Of course I should be focusing on the more important thing, but I couldn't. I just couldn't. How could I bare the thought of what I was about to face? Or better yet, how would Edward take the news that-
It doesn't matter, I told myself. I focused on the spinning ceiling fan. As it whirled around in the same daily circles at the same pace, never having to face problems or worry about what tomorrow will be like… it watched things. I had always thought of fans as watchers. A cruel lifeless soul, the fan had a full view of the area surrounding it. Silently judging. They can't speak, and they can’t make their own choices, so all it can do, is just keep its place at the top of my room and watch. Listen to the numerous phone calls I made, to all those stressful, homework-overloaded nights, and even to the smallest of snores as I slept.
It was always watching as I checked emails, got dressed, starred out the window, and most of all, it watched me at nights. Those precious moments where I sat there, in my bed alone, waiting, then, he would be there. As if I ever deserved him, or as if I was worth his time, no matter what I did or said, and even if I was already asleep, he would always give up his night and come to me. He was so wonderful. The fan had watched all of those nights that I sat in bed with what I didn’t deserve. And now he would leave. After today, there would be no more.
Fan, I reminded myself for what seemed like the thousandth time. The fan was always there. It watched my life and knew what happened. Sure the fan didn't have eyes or ears or even a life, but it was like a live object. It gave me fresh air, and did things at my command, just by hitting a light switch. The fan was like my personal slave; it listened to everything quietly, as it moved swiftly.
I breathed in a big breath, hoping the air would cool me down enough so that I could stop sweating, but that was not going to happen. I had experienced so much in my life. Deaths, evil vampires, betrayal, and pain... pain. So much pain. But nothing was like this. I hadn't even talked to Edward, yet I was already stressing as if he were here now. He said he'd be here in ten minutes, but he probably heard my stress through the phone and decided to run here rather than drive. He was always over protective. Always worried and concerned for me. He never stopped paying attention when I told him about my same, casual day. He cared so much.
So why did I have to get in a truck, and drive into it all, knocking it down to it's very foundation, never to be rebuilt again?
I swallowed. I'm not going to cry... I'm not going to cry... I'm not going t- I checked my watch. It read 6:48. Edward had to be here by now. Our call was exactly seven minutes and 35 seconds ago... But I didn't want him to get here. I wanted him to decide he could get someone better than me, run off never to be found, and never speak to me again. Losing him like that would be so much easier than what the future held. I kept imagining he wouldn't show up, for whatever reason, but I knew he would. He always did.
6:50 Time was going by faster. The fan was spinning faster. It kept going and going, it was so fast.... A small squeak left my voice. I said not to cry! Don't cry, whatever you do! I gulped down a bunch of air, still not helping. It had to be ten minutes by now. Maybe he's no-
Out of the corner of my eye, I could see someone standing right at my door. As I lie on the bed, looking up at the fan, that stupid, judgmental fan, I noticed the dark black shape of a human. Though it wasn't a human. It was a perfect wonderful, beautiful person. The next second, he was there, beside me. Laying on the bed with me, cradling me in his perfect, sturdy arms.
Suddenly I let out a small cry. No, no crying… Luckily. I was able to keep the tears in my eyes. I was surprised at that. I could never hold back tears. If only Edward hadn’t heard the squeak in my voice… maybe he won’t know I’m sad, and maybe I will be able to stall long enough… Long enough to get one last amazing moment from him…
“Bella?” Edward asked, his voice was clearly pained. He had that little croak in his voice, something usually only humans experienced. It was as if he were in so much pain, that he had to let some of it out with his voice. And sure enough, it was coming out. I hated that sound; the sound of him unhappy. Quite frankly, it made me unhappy, knowing Edward was not comfortable with the current situation. What pained me even more was the realization that I had, and would cause this pain that made his voice the way it was. It took me a second to arrive back in reality, and realize that he had said something else. What had he said?
“I’m sorry, what?” I asked. I froze. That sounded rude, didn’t it? Great. I was already going to upset him- no, piss him off was more like it. Now I sounded like I had a smart attitude? Luckily, Edward didn’t seem to take notice.
“Why are you crying, love?” he asked. He held his right arm around the small of my back, holding me up I realized. His left arm was stroking the lose pieces of hair that had managed to escape my ponytail. Wait- crying? What did he mean? I wasn’t crying! I’m doing a good job of-
I pressed my skinny pale fingers to my cheek. It was right under my eye that I felt wet drips of water, emptying them selves from my eye. Another way for pain to escape the body- through little drops of salty liquid.
I quickly wiped my eye, but what use was it? He had already noticed my crying.
“Bella!” he said, quietly, yet anxiously. It was killing him. Oh just tell him already!
“Edward…” I searched his eyes. They were a dark golden, a deep color that had no name. He needed to hunt. He needed the very thing that kept him both at peace, and slightly satisfied: blood. That was the thing that marked the very boundary between being human or vampire. I couldn’t stand it, the love in his eyes. But I needed to tell him.
He reached up, catching a tear with the tip of his index finger. He then let his hand go back to my hair, but made a different decision and placed his hand around my face. Holding me there, not letting me go. How I would miss this…
“Edward” I said, and pulled my face away from him. He looked at me, very silent, ready to listen. I took one last chance at a big breath, hoping it would work this time. Instead I felt a sharp pain in my dry throat. I ignored it and looked into Edward’s eyes once more. “I need to tell you… Okay first just listen. I did something… something I should have told you about a long time ago. But I didn’t, and I’m terrible for that. I can never be forgiven-“
“Bella, don’t be ludicrous. Whatever it is, I’m positive it will be okay. I won’t be mad-“
“Oh but you will.” I said quickly. I could feel the pain in my eyes, and knew Edward could see it. Was he really in pain, or was the pain in my eyes reflecting off his eyes, just to confuse me? He looked bewildered at what I said.
“What could you have possibly done, that cannot be forgiven?” he challenged. “I’ve done enough wrong in my life to you, that you’ve forgiven and shouldn’t have. I’m sure that whatever you did, it’s not that-“
“Just listen.” I whispered, simply because if I let my voice grow any louder than a whisper, he would hear the distress. My voice would probably crack and never work again.
“Edward I…” Oh. My. God. How was I to say this? I couldn’t identify whether or not this was more awkward than it was terrifying. Would he get angry? I knew the answer to that, prior to finding out.
Yes. But how mad would he get? Would he curse and spit at me, until I cried in shame? Would he hit me or throw some of the items lurking around in my room? What if he tore the fan out of the wall? Suddenly I liked the fans presence, and hoped it stayed intact in the wall.
You’re being ridiculous. My conscious whispered to me. Something only I could hear, since Edward had some mystery problem with hearing my thoughts. So I was being ridiculous… or was I? What if he really did become as angry as my thoughts had allowed me to picture, or even worse than that? What if…
I made myself drop the thought before it even processed into a thought. Edward was still waiting for me. I couldn’t leave him waiting anxiously, wondering what it was I was about to say. After all I had done… he deserved to know. But could there have been a better way? Could I have done something differently or went someplace better to tell him. For Gods sake, tell him already!! NOW!!!
“Edward I’m pregnant.” I said. I gasped. Had I just said it?
Yes. I got it out. The words that had been resting on the very tip of my dried tongue took a leap, and landed right out in the open. Right there for everyone to hear and see. Edward just looked confused.
“But Bella.” he said. I knew how he was going to finish this sentence. I had played this conversation out a million times in my head, and I knew Edward best. This was exactly the way I thought it would go, and I was right. But for a reason I didn’t want to think, I knew it was not a good thing in this case, that I knew Edward so much.
“Bella we never-“
“I know Edward… I know.” I spoke softly. Here it comes… the grand finally. The moment, we’ve all been dreading. I could hear the terrible music playing over and over in my head, taunting me. It was as if the music was saying ha ha time to talk! Why didn’t the music have a stop button?
Another breath. The final attempt at what little comfort I could possibly get from filling my lungs with air. It just wouldn’t do it. “Edward…”
“Bella sweetheart, we never… Bella there must be some mistake.” He laughed, but it wasn’t a laugh. I had no name for the noise that sounded like a laugh, but wasn’t one.
“Edward we never did anything…” gulp “But me and Jacob did…”
I stared into his eyes and saw the most amazing thing. What had seemed like his regular eyes just seconds ago, was nothing compared to what they had turned into, just now. In a split second, I watched his eyes change from an aged gold, right to a jet black. That quick, as if my one, stupid little sentence had drained all energy that remained within him. His eyes…
Oh, How I was going to miss those eyes…
***This banner was made by Mollyy Greeves***
I’ve always wondered what happens to us once our bodies aren’t strong enough to keep us in this thing called life.
Is there really a heaven to celebrate in? Do we roam the earth as tireless ghosts, sighing as we watch our loved ones move on without us? Or do we go nowhere. Are our bodies the only thing that connects us to life? Is there nothing else, no more thoughts or memories or words of love once our bodies can no longer do so?
It scares me really. Even having been so close to death, I’d never actually taken the time to think about that moment when you feel yourself detach from your body. That moment when your brain stops comprehending things, and you feel that you are falling asleep.
But it’s not sleep. Sleep isn’t permanent. Sleep isn’t so scary and sleep isn’t what’s happening to me right now. Sleep... isn’t this painful.
But then again... sleep isn’t this peaceful either...
I haven't updated since August, don't worry I'm bad about updating too. And I'm even worse about keeping up with all of the stories I'm reading, so I apologize for that. Being so close to the end of the story though, I really need to update, so I'm going to work on writing tonight, while I'm still thinking about it. :)
I have read the entirety of this story in one sitting. The plot is so addicting. The characters are addicting.
You are a fantastic writer. Please update soon! :)
I feel bad now. There's only one chapter left! :) I'll work on it so you can see how it ends, I promise! :D
can't wait to read your next chapter....i have read this story since you started writing it and i love it.
I truly appreciate it with all of my heart :)
I crept quietly, the souls of my feet hardly making any noise as they carried me to my destination; away from here. Once I was far enough away that the voices of the victorious were silent, I began to run. Even with all the fighting and destruction that had occurred lately, this was still the fastest I'd run in my existence. It was faster than any human would ever go, no matter how badly they craved it, but it still didn't feel like enough, for it wasn't a human I was running from.
I knew that if there were a living heart in my chest, it would be thumping with nerves now, Even after all of these years I could still remember what it felt like to have a thumping so loud you could feel it in your ears. I still sometimes even felt odd not having the feeling in nervous situations, like now for example.
The wind forced my hair to blow back, leaving an obvious scent behind me with every step I took. This would never work if I kept running. I needed to do more. I needed to climb.
With that I leapt into a nearby tree, then into another one. I knew the trees would slow me down a little, which was unwanted, but if it hid my scent then that wouldn't really matter so much. I continued from tree to tree, keeping my hair tucked into the back of my shirt to keep away falling cells that would reveal my presence. There was nothing-
I stiffened the way a dead cat would mid jump. As I landed upon another tree, I froze, holding myself to the branch as if it were a dying friend. I stopped breathing, not allowing even the slightest movement from my body. I was not hanging on to the tree, I was the tree. Just part of a tall tree, left to be unnoticed. That was all that I was.
Several minutes of pure silence passed by, only the sound of nature taking its course hit my ears. perhaps I was just hearing things? Did vampires hear things? Was it actually possible for a dead lifeless creature that never matures or changes to become insane? No, I wasn't insane. It had probably been a squirrel, or a deer or... something else. It had to be something else.
Sighing, as I reassured myself that no one had followed me up to this point, I dropped to the ground as easily as I human could drop from just a few mere inches. I still waited cautiously once I had returned the forest floor before taking off once again to my destination, which was anywhere but here.
I tried to distract myself from the animal I'd heard running, but it was all I could think about. It had run so fast, so swiftly. It's breathing had remained regular even as it ran at such a fast speed... But it was just a deer. That's all that it was. It was a deer trying to trick me into thinking that I was being followed...
Except that it hadn't been a deer. I'd known that from the second I'd heard the sound that it wasn't a deer. And it definitely hadn't been a squirrel. It was someone, not a human, but a creature that could somehow match the speeds at which I was going.
Though it wasn't really so, my stomach began to feel sick as I froze once again. I needed to get back into the trees. Perhaps stay there for a while until-
I heard the running again. My eyes widened as my brain racked for something to do. I can't run to the left, not to the right, and not toward them. The only way to go was up.
It only took me a thirteenth of a second to decide to retreat back to the trees, but even in such a small amount of time, it still had not been enough. I was caught. I could hear now, the footsteps were just close enough that they would be able to see my jump. I could only run away from them now.
I dashed in the direction at which the footsteps were running, hoping that i could outrun them. My breathing increased ragged as I ran faster, not out of lack of energy but rather fear. I took even larger steps, forcing myself to run harder, but the footsteps only seemed to increase in speed as I did.
"Damn it." I muttered under my breath as I slowed down to a walk. This was my defeat; I'd been caught, and could not outrun my follower. I hadn't wanted it to come to this. I;d known that it was probably going to end up like this, but I still tried to avoid it. To no avail. I could not outrun him, therefore I was left with no other choice but to make him run away. Run away from me.
I sighed, not turning to acknowledge his presence. It was I that had been chased, if he wanted to talk then he could say something first. I would hold my tongue from saying what I did not want to say for as long as I could put it off.
But unfortunately it wouldn't be that long. For now wad the time to say it.
"Bella..." Edward spoke then, no hint of anger, nor happiness. I was hoping that I would be able to predict his mood within his voice, but perhaps it would be better not knowing how hurt he already was. If I saw even the slightest bit of sadness, I don't know if I would be able to do this...
"Bella, where are you going?" he laughed it off a little, trying not to seem like a big deal, but I could hear the worry in his voice. That block of concern that layered almost every word that left his mouth. I closed my eyes, my brows narrowed in frustration. Remember why you're here, That little voice in my head said to me. Remember why you're here.
As I reopened my eyes, I sighed, staring at the day-old snow that lay on the ground. "I'm leaving." I said simply, still having refused to look at him. He took a step toward me, crunching the snow as he stepped on it.
"Where are you going too?" he chuckled, and my face scrunched in annoyance. This was going to be harder than I'd ever imagined...
"I don't know." I said honestly. "I just need to leave."
There was no chuckle that time. We remained in silence as he began to realize that I was not telling a small joke. I remained in the same position, staring at the small details of the snow and how it clumped together so softly. I would probably have to remain somewhere with snow. The more snow meant the less sun. Maybe England. It snowed in England, didn't it? Maybe I could just go to Alaska. Perhaps even-
"Why?" Edward interrupted my forming plans. More annoyance.
I shook my head, then shrugged. "Because I just have to go." I said simply, hoping it would be enough, knowing that it wouldn't be.I searched the snow, wishing that it would give me something to say that could just end this now without hurting him. But of course, the snow provided nothing. Stupid snow.
Edward took another step, closing the distance between us, but I still refused to turn and embrace him. It was easier this way.
"You don't honestly believe I'd let you leave, do you?" I dropped all of my previous thoughts and turned sharply toward him, my eyes now burning into his with my furious. As it turns out, I would face this directly.
"You never do anyway." I muttered and turned away, beginning to walk again away from where he stood. He was in front of me in less than a second, something I had been expecting.
He watched me carefully, pain in his eyes. "What is wrong, Bella?" he asked concerned.
I answered in the most revealing way I could think of. "Nothing. I'm fine." It wasn't very good, but I was hoping that maybe, just maybe, he could realize that I was trying to find peace and leave me alone before I had to... hurt him.
But this was Edward, and he knew better. "Bella, what is this about? Are you hurt?" he asked, scanning my body briefly for any sign of damage. When he found nothing, he met my eyes again. his face became even more concerned. There was something else, something besides physical pain that was going on, and he knew it. We both knew it, and we both knew that we both knew it. It was like some unspoken connection, a connection of mutual sadness between the two of us. I had to look away to avoid letting him see the pain in my face.
He reached for my hand and gently pulled it into his, trying to meet my eyes again. I refused to see his eyes one more time, the pain would be too much. I would crumble under his utter beauty and give in. I had to be able to resist his eyes if I was going to make him go away. I had to forget about all of our memories and shared love if I was going to hurt him. And knew then that, even after my feeble attempts, this was the only option I had left. I could not make hi leave with this mere small talk. Now was time to make him go away. Forever.
He squeezed my hand harder, yet still softly. "Bella pleas-"
"Edward I don't love you." I said, staring at a different patch of snow.
Slowly, I felt his grasp on my hand release and I closed my eyes, reminding myself that I was safe; it wasn't possible to produce tears. It hadn't been for a while.
I felt Edward's gaze on me, frozen in place. In his moment of complete silence, I took the opportunity at large before his words took it away.
"I don't want to be with you. I don't love you. I... I need to be somewhere else." I said, opening my eyes to find that I was correct, I was all that Edward could see in this moment. His eyes were stuck on my face, his entire body still as if he'd turned to stone. At least, a different type of stone than we already were. Without meeting his eyes, I turned around, my hands in my coat pockets and began to walk away. The pain was so great that it made my entire body numb, but my legs somehow continued moving me away from him. At least now it was over-
"I don't believe you." he said then, making me freeze.
I should have kept walking. If I'd just kept walking, if my feet had just continued to take step after step, he would have believed me. He would have let me go. He would have. But I didn't keep going. My feet stopped. And I knew in that moment that there was no way he would believe me, just because I'd stopped.
I turned around to see him still in the exact frozen stance I'd left him in, a statue in the snow. I stared him in the eyes, though it hurt my soul. "It doesn't matter if you don't believe me. I don't love you" I said coldly, somehow remaining to keep the pain out of my voice. "I'm finding a new home." I turned around again to leave, only to be interrupted again.
I didn't let him finish another word. I took a step in front of him angrily and let it all out. I wasn't angry with him, no, I loved him. I was only leaving him for his happiness. But I was angry that he couldn't just believe me. I was angry at myself for not being able to convince him, I was angry at myself for feeling pain at this to him, and I was angry at myself for not being a better person for Edward. Someone that he could actually deserve to be with. Someone who could stay with him forever and live happily, without so many problems and so much stress to be the right person for him, and I was angry with myself for not being that person.
'This is why I can't stand to be near you!" I started out, forgetting my own pain in that moment. I would mourn later, for now I would just convince him that i didn't want him. "You're always so controlling! And demanding! You won't just let me go Edward! It's like... like-"
"Bella please-" He finally reached out for me, but I kept going.
"See? you won't even let me finish my sentence! I can't take this anymore!" I gulped. "I'm leaving. I'm leaving Edward, and I don't want you to ever talk to me again. I don't want to see you. Please don't follow me, and don't call me. Just... leave me alone." I hadn't realized how much it would hurt me to say this. The pain was so overwhelming that I felt I would honestly choke on it. All I wanted to do was tell him that I was lying, say that I didn't mean any of it and that i didn't want a life without him. Even for a second. I just wanted to fall to the ground and weep with my internal frustration.
I turned to go again, but he spoke this time before I even made it a step away.
"Don't go." he said. More pleaded to me. The pull then was so strong that I felt as if I were being forced by the wind to go to him. He was my god, and what he said, I honored. Except for now. It was ironic really. Never more than now have I ever wanted to do what he said. I didn't want to go, I just wanted to weep in his arms and beg him to forgive my selfish and foolish acts and all of the pain I'd caused him for silly reasons. But this was not a silly reason. It was for his happiness, my gods happiness. There was nothing more important to me than that.
I shook my head. "It's too late for that Edward."
He closed his eyes, soaking everything in, then sighing, asked in a small voice "May I at least have a proper goodbye?"
It was as if he was trying to make this as hard as he possibly could. I wanted to crumble into the ground and become the snow. Why couldn't he just accept this and be on his way? Why did he have to make this so complicated?
I just stared at him, almost as if asking him if he was serious.
"Bella, I don't want to give up on you. You mean everything to m-"
I shook my head, unable to take this anymore. If I was here for any longer than another minute, I wouldn't be able to keep this up. "I. Don't. Love. You. Why can't you just understand me? I can't make myself any clearer-"
"Fine." he said. He didn't say it in an angry way, or even a hurt way. He just shrugged as if it were nothing as he said the small word 'fine' that wasn't really so small. Though I didn't reveal it on my face, I was hurt. Beyond my wildest dreams, I didn't know it was possibly to be this.. hurt. Hurt didn't even describe it. It was... it was...
"Fine." he said again. "Just tell me to stop, and I'll leave you." He promised. "I'll never bother you again. I'll... let you go." he said, taking a step closer toward me. He was right in front of me now. I shook my head, my mouth open but not saying anything. I closed my mouth, then reopened it to say something, but couldn't get the words out. I felt drowned. Drowned in my own pain, leaving me completely and utterly speechless.
I didn't... I... I... I can't...
"Too late." he said. Then, before I could protest, he pulled my face to his and pressed his lips to mine. I tried to protest, tried to pull and push him away, but my arms quickly gave up. No! You are not giving up this quick! Leave! Now!
He pulled away then, watching my eyes carefully but with love. I backed away, shaking my head. "Edward, I have to-"
"Don't speak my love." he smiled, softly brushing my hair out of my face with his hand, his eyes staring into mine with gentleness and love.
"E-Excuse me?" I stuttered, hardly concentrated on what I was even supposed to be doing. He chuckled, smiling still, and kissed me again. And then, through all of my inner protests, I kissed him back.
Authors note: Don't forget, there is an epilogue to come soon! :) Thanks to my amazing readers!
Oh Bella, you can make him happy! And you can also have that happy ending with him and Ryan in your life!
I am looking forward to see how everything turns out in the epilogue. Do you have any new stories (or continuations of old stories) in mind?
Yes. It's an Edward and Bella story. It should be up within a few weeks. I won't update it constantly, since I have work, the trailer shop, and other things, but I will when I can because honestly, I just can't stop writing yet :) I want to eventually finish Fierce too. When I find the time.
Thanks for reading, and being such a committed reader with that. It warms my heart :)
so sad to see this story ending....can't wait to read your epilogue!
I am too :( But all stories have to end sometime. There will always be other stories though. :)
Part One - Bella’s P.O.V.-
The time was 6:45.
So there I was. Standing in front of the mirror like a pathetic, useless piece of nothingness. A loser. I could have moved in that moment, could have said something or tried to breath slower, but instead I stood there pathetically. Staring into the mirror with absurd and shocked eyes. I was a mess.
I tilted my head back, sighing as I eyed the fan that hung from the ceiling. I had not forgotten the unimportant and pointless life of a ceiling fan; it whirled around in the same daily circles at the same pace. Never having to face problems or worry about tomorrow and what it will be like. Or if you’ll even make it to tomorrow for that matter. It watched things.
It was a cruel lifeless soul that had a full view of the area surrounding it. Silently judging. They still couldn’t speak, still couldn’t make their own decisions, and still just kept its place at the top of my room and watched.
It was always watching as I checked emails, got dressed, starred out the window, and most of all, it watched me at nights. Those precious moments where I lay there in my bed. With him. As if I ever deserved him, or as if it was ever worth his time. No matter what I did or said, even if we were just silent, he would always give up every night and come to me. He was so wonderful. The fan had watched all of those nights that i sat in bed with what I didn’t deserve. And now... now he stay forever. After today, there would be no more separation. No more doubts. Just love...
“We’re ready.” Alice poked her head into the door, smiling as she admired me. I swallowed hard, nerves suddenly making me feel weak. I looked to the ground, my mouth open to say something, but not able to say it. Lucky for me, Alice could already see what it was I wanted to say without having to say it.
“He’s down there. Waiting for you. Don’t worry.” she smiled softly with love. I couldn’t help myself but to smile back at her. It was hard really for anyone not to.
“Okay. I’m coming.” I said, taking a deep breath. I could do this. Yes. I could do this for sure.
Alice paused for a second in thought. “Bella?”
“Yeah?” I asked, suddenly worried that she saw something go wrong. Everything go wrong. He wouldn’t be there. He’d finally realized that he was better without me. He’d left forever. And I would never see him again...
“You look beautiful.” she said, and I realized as she said it, that she really meant it. Through her words, I really did feel beautiful then. She must have known that that would work.
“Okay.” I said as I looked at myself in the mirror one last time. ‘I’m ready.” And truly, I was.
Part Two - Brett’s P.O.V.-
I sat quietly as I plotted my revenge for the retched leech-lovers that interfered with my place as alpha. My place. Not where they belonged, but where I belonged. Something they had no right to medal with.
But their actions would no go unpunished. They would pay for the destruction they’d caused both me, and my rightfully earned pack. I was pack leader. Not the wolf that was family with leeches. The thought was utterly disgusting.
I took a step closer, only becoming more graceful as I made sure not to make any noise that could be heard by the bloodsuckers. Yes, they would pay. They just wouldn’t know it until it was too late to even beg for mercy.
I spotted Ryan, seated beside Molly with the most idiotic grin on his face. it made me sick to see it, to see the victory and happiness on his face. It only pushed me further to tear that smile off of his face and destruct it beyond recognition. I grinned madly as Ryan stood up and walked nearer to me, his source of unavoidable death. Revenge would be beautiful.
He stepped closer, completely unaware of his every breath becoming one of his last. So naive, so intolerable. There was clearly no logic behind someone of his stupidity becoming pack leader. They needed someone like me. Someone with leadership, someone with intelligence and bravery. Someone who is willing to take risks.
I took another step closer. My paw hardly even touching the ground as I stepped ever so quietly. Yes, the pack needed someone like me, and they would soon come to realize this.
I hunched down, and pushed off of my paws to leap at him, only to be confused when I landed to the side several feet away. I was back on my feet immediately, growling evilly, showing my killing teeth to my attacker. Showing them that they had made the biggest mistake of their life to dare even think of challenging me.
The wolf before me was big, anger clear in their eyes as they prepared as well to attack. The wolf was... Beth.
I grin came to my face, as new plans came to mind. The thought of Ryan’s face as he saw Beth’s dead body slung before him, then even more shock as he was killed by the true leader of the pack. It was sweet, but not as sweet as actually getting to see his face and know that it is real. So very sweet.
Leave Ryan alone, she growled, not asking, but rather demanding of me. As if she could decide what I did? It was funny really, giving how much more powerful I was than her, for Beth to actually be telling me what to do. It was brave of her. Putting her life before her with such a huge risk. It would be a shame to have to omit her from his pack.
Why Beth, are you defending someone who left you? Just left you behind like a worthless maggot-filled rabbit? You realize that he doesn’t love you anymore, don’t you, Beth? I challenged, the two of us both circling, our eyes never leaving each others.
I’m sticking up for him because he is the true pack leader, and you will never add up to even a fraction of the person he is. She spat back, not even the slightest sign of fear showing in anything she did. She was very brave. But she would still die a coward. They al did.
Ryan will never be as powerful as I. He will never be as strong a wolf as I am. I said, even though it shouldn’t have even been necessary to say it. Such a thing should be completely obvious at this point.
Beth eyed a scar on my muzzle. A scar from my battle with Ryan. Give it up already, she spat, inching closer to me.
I was taken aback that she’d continued her fight this long against someone as strong as me. She really was a fighter. No matter how amazing Ryan’s face would be seeing her dead body, it wouldn’t be as good as her in my pack. She would be a key element. She was strong. It was too bad Ryan had left her really, he was missing out in being with that other weak mutt, Molly.
I raised my head up in pride, showing her as I spoke that this opportunity from being given to her by a higher power, and should be taken as a blessing. As mercy.
I’m going to take down Ryan, I began.
You wish! she scoffed, inching even closer.
Ignoring her, I continued with my offer, her only chance of surviving at this point. I’m going to take down Ryan, and get my pack back. And I want you in it. You’ll realize soon enough how much more equipped and prepared I am as a pack leader.
She started to protest, but I got in my final words before she could say no. You want me as a leader Beth. You don’t want to be around Ryan and his new girlfriend Molly. He’ll be far to distracted with her, distracting both you and the rest of the pack. He’ll lead you off of a cliff without even realizing it! My pack will be stable. More mature. Concentrated. And powerful. Very powerful. You don’t really want to be around him do you?
She didn’t fight back immediately, and I knew I had her. How great I was at convincing was yet another of the many qualities that made me an amazing leader. A leader that La Push couldn’t afford not to have. I could even-
I’d rather be led off of a cliff by Ryan than lead into evil by you. She said, inching even closer to e in challenge. We were nose to nose now, staring evilly into each others eyes.
You’re making a stupid mistake. I threatened her, growling in frustration at such an inconvenient loss of a pack member. You’re going to die under Ryan’s leadership. You’ll die. I may as well kill you now to get it over with for you.
She just watched my eyes, almost as if teasing me as she spoke. Not if I beat you to it.
I hadn’t even the time to prepare to pounce on her before everything suddenly became nothingness.
Part Three - Bella’s P.O.V.-
I sighed heavily, the nerves seriously beginning to kick in now. Though Alice had reassured me, she’d not managed to calm me. I don’t think that anything could in this moment; I was fidgety, near to sweating my skin off if I were human.
“Bella?” a voice asked behind me. It was usually a voice that I feared hearing, for I knew that this voice came with rude and vulgar comments, but not today. Today he was serious, dauntless and determined.
I turned around to Emmett and smiled. “I’m ready.” I smiled calmly, trying to hide all nervousness and stress.
He laughed, sensing my nervousness anyway. “Don’t trip out there Bella.”
Okay, so he was kind of serious today.
As we walked together, arm in arm, my frozen heart could have jumped out of my chest as I saw so many wolves and vampires so near... It didn’t feel right the first time I’d seen them unite, and it still didn’t look right even now, as we united again. This time not for a fight.
I saw Kate Tanya, and the rest of the Denali clan, standing together, looking beautiful as I’d always suspected they would appear. Those of the Denali were of the many clans that were delighted to hear that the Volturi had been over thrown.
I saw Daisy, hand in hand with Rahul, and I couldn’t help but smile to myself at the memory of the two of them getting together, after what appeared to be years of a game of cat and mouse. Sometimes I guess hearing your friends thoughts has its advantages.
I saw Beth then, a felt a pang of sadness for her. I did not blame Ryan for imprinting on someone else, I understood more than a lot of people what it felt like to love two people. Especially when you wanted one of them, but needed the other.
Brandon and Cody caught my eye then. They were comfortable about being near each other. They were truly forgiving brothers, and I honored them for that. I’d been given a thousand times more forgiveness than I deserved, and it was people like Brandon that were somehow able to forgive the mistakes of people like Cody and I that made this world a better place.
I saw Carlisle then, with Esme of course, and the rest of their ‘adopted’ family. Carlisle was not only a truly proud father, but was now a proud part of the rulers of the vampire world. A group of rulers that didn’t involve unreasonable killing amongst vampires they didn’t like. He loved helping humans, it’s what he did for a career, so it only made sense that he would want to better the vampire world as well.
I saw Alice then, and she gave me a smile of reassessment again, being there for me as a best friend. I didn’t understand how she, and others of course, managed to forgive me. Maybe it was something I could never fully understand for some reason. Maybe it was too powerful for any of us to understand unlimited forgiveness for those that you love.
I saw Ryan next, and the happiness and pride that came about almost knocked me over. As he held Molly’s hand, a constant look of love and protectiveness for her, I was proud. Proud that he was my son, and proud of what a wonderful child he was, even having to grow up without both of his parents. I wish I could make that up to him in some way, but again, it was another one of those mystery cases where the person somehow manages to forgive for god knows what reason why. You didn’t deserve it, you didn’t earn it, but you got it anyway. It was a crazy thing.
Finally, distracting me from all that I’d just seen, I saw Edward. He didn’t give up on me, even when I gave him every reason to. He didn’t stop loving me, even though I showed him through my actions that i did not deserve it. And I would never stop loving him. No matter what he did, no matter what he said, or how harsh he could have been in response to what I put him through. I never stopped loving him, and I never will. And today, we would prove to each other, for good, that it would stay that way. Forever.
“Shall we begin?” Emmett asked, a smile across his face as he stood beside Edward and I. I wasn’t even hearing him. All I saw was Edward’s face, all I heard was his breathing, and I could feel, was his presence. He was there, and I was here, and we were here. Together.
After we kissed, sealing our love indefinitely, I turned to face my new family. Some of them vampires, some of them wolves, and some of them I’d not fully gotten to now yet. But it didn’t matter what, or who they were, because it was family that had gotten me through all of this. It was family that had forgiven me through all of this. And it was family that loved me through every moment.
I realized then, something that I’d never thought before; I was truly happy.
This is the epilogue to Secretive! I hate to make it end, but Secretive has had its turn, meaning it's time for another story to shine. It's called Sincere. I'll post the prologue below ^_^ Thank you for reading, to everybody, whether you read half of a chapter, or all 35, it warms my heart to get to share my inner-crazy thinking with the world through story :)