What if . Bella decided to reach over and kiss Jacob in her truck? Would that change how she feels about Jacob over all ? Knowing the feelings he has for her,knowing he could give her more. Knowing,she wouldn't have to change for him...
[Disclaimer]; not everybody posts the disclaimers in their fanfiction,but i'm going to. ;) Idon't own Twilight,or any of the characters in it. All belong to Stephenie Meyer- All though I wish I did.(;
A/N; I hope you enjoy ... :) & I'm starting at chapter 1 :)
Chapter 1; One Last Look.
My fingers were curled tightly around the steering wheel,as i stared out ahead of us. We were in front of Charlies-though his cruiser was missing. I bite the inside of my lip,my brows mashed together,listening to Jacob's breathing. He was staring out the window,as we sat in my old truck silently. Sometimes, I wish I knew what he was thinking,and then he let out a breath.
"What are you thinking,Bells?" he asks,breaking the awkward silence.
I loosen my grip on the steering wheel,and lean into the seat-sighing,"I,was ... Going to ask you the same thing." I tell him,glancing side-ways. He was still looking out the fogged window.
" You really want to know what i'm thinking about?" he questions,now turning to look at me.
His stare sent shivers through-out my body,and his question made me think about how to answer. Do I want to know what he's thinking about? The way he said it,makes me wonder if it's a bad thing- something I actually don't want to know. But,maybe I'm just over-thinking. I do want to know what he's thinking about,but,maybe when I do know-I'll regret asking what he was thinking about.
I'm over-thinking... I think.
I nod,"Tell me what you're thinking about Jake."
He smirks,his eyes slightly lidded."You." he whispers."Always..."
I sigh,and smile weakly."Jacob..."
He shakes his head,and takes my hands off the wheel-and into his hands,mine so small compared to his. I look down,not wanting to stare into his eyes-knowing it would be for the best. I think. Because,if I fall in love with Jake ... I'm just going to end up hurting him,when Edward comes back. Eward will come back,I know it... Jacob is my best friend,and i can't stand,loosing him.
"Bella,I love you. I've always loved you. And you know that,I know you know that." He sighs,"Bells,look at me. Please." I bit my lip,and shook my head.
"I can't." I whisper.
One hand disapeared from mine,and moved swiftly under my chin. Forcing me to look up at him,I tried to look away from his face,but mine landed on his. His gaze so intense,I couldn't look away. His hot breath was circulating around my face,the woodsy scent i always loved-intoxicating me. Wanting me to move closer to it. But I stayed where I was,our gazes interlocked.
I was waiting for him to say something,but he just remained speechless;his lips parted-as in lost in thought. I bit down on my lip hard,as the silence intensified. Just when realization hit me. My fingers slowly,crawling up his arms-as his hands hooked onto my waist-pulling me into his lap.
Jacob can never be just a friend to me. I've always seen noticed him,always known he was attractive to me in some way.But,Edward...
"I can't hurt you." I mumble,my lips brushing across his in the process. I never noticed how close we were until now.
"Do you love me?" he asks,his eyes closed-waiting for my answer.
I press my lips tightly together,curling my hands into fists-agaist his covered chest. "I..." i press my lips back together,taking a stead breath.
[for now... watching Salt :3]
wow. it was deleted again,LOL,I don't understand why it's being deleted?
Yeah...I'll try to see what's going on... I'm pretty sure there was nothing bad in that chapter though...
&& Ahah,yeahh,I'm pretty surprised...(':
I will also be closing down this discussion!
Again, (if you didn't see my post in I Beg You) , inbox me for questions.
Sorry for the inconvenience.
this is the chapter that was deleted, and I fixed the problem, so hopefully it'll stay up :)
I've been gone for awhile, but I finally finished the story. It is AWESOME!!!!!!
to me the biggest and dunbest thing j did was the time she was gonna let him kiss her in the kitchen and he rite at her lips and the phone rang and all of a sudden the ringing of the phone became the most important thing in his life no guy who wanted to kiss the girl he loved first time with ready would not even hear the phone ring or not care if it did i think that part makes j look very stupid
@ D.Ann Logan , thank you so much!
@charley hollis , Ahaha,I completely agree with you.
The way back home was slightly peaceful. There were no words shared between us, he just held my hand-with his free hand- as he drove us home. After everything we've been through, I can say that it was worth it. I just hope he feels the same. We've both put up a fight for each other, but everytime I rejected him it was as if it just spurred him on more, to try harder. I'm glad he didn't give up on me.
We walked silently up to our house, our home, and he locked the door behind us. He cleared his throat, and I glance up at him, raising my brow.
"Uhm, Bella..." he starts,his thumb brushing across my jaw,as he holds my face between his hands."I want to try again."
I smile softly at his gentleness, "What do you mean?"
"I want to try again. I want to be a dad, and I think you'd be the perfect mom for my child. I want to try again, and if it goes wrong again, then maybe we can adopt?" His right hand left my face as he scratched the back of his neck,biting down on his bottom lip, curious for my answer.
There was an ache in my chest. The child we were going to have, but never made it. I could feel the tears building up, and my forehead creased as my eye brows pulled together,my chest heaving. My throat suddenly felt really thick, and if I were to speak I feel like everything would just spill out, everything. All of my organs, and I was scared to see what my heart would look like. Tattered, worn out; a few holes, punctures, wounds. That's how it would look like. As if the organ itself participated in war, and just nearly made it out alive from the battelfield.
I felt Jacob's arms wrap around me, pulling me to his chest,he started to kiss the top of my head.
"I know Bells,I know. You're not the only one hurting. But, would it be so bad to try again?" He wondered.
I took in a deep breath,trying to clear my throat, but it sounded more like a gasp, like I was running out of air to breath, and everything just flowed out. Tears started streaming down my face,and the most wretched sound escaped my lips.
He squeezed me tighter,"Aww Bella..." He kept kissing the top of my head,pulling me closer to his body,"Shhh..." He murrmered.
His body heat was some-what comforting. I sighed into his chest, and tried to ponder the idea more. Would it be so bad to try again? Not that any baby could replace this one. Of course not. But, Jake is hurting too, and to try again, and having it work, hopefully, this time...
I nod into his chest,"Okay." I took another deep breath,and let it out in a sigh.
I step out of his hold,and look him in the eyes,"Yes, we can try again." I lift my shoulders,shrugging.
A smile spread across his face,as he lifted me up over his shoulder,"Oh,Bella,Bella,Bella..."
I roll my eyes,"Can you put me down,please?"
He laughs,a throaty laugh,that echoed off the walls,"Oh, I will..." He started walking, and I sighed.
Then my back made contact with the bed. Jacob crawled over top of me, pressing his lips to my forehead.
"You are so beautiful." He whispered,kissing down to my nose,"So gorgeous..." He whispered against the corner of my lips.
I gulped, my breathing started to pick up a little.
He took my bottom lip between his teeth gently, and I ran my fingers through his hair. His lips travelled down to my neck, his warm breath against my neck sent shivers down my neck,"So sexy..." He moaned.
His voice sounded like liquid sex, and I couldn't help but bite on my lip to stop the moan that was begging to escape. He's hardly even touched me, and I feel like I'm melting. I wrapped my legs around his waist, grinding my hips into his. This time his lips were by my ear, as he let out a long, moan. He gripped my hips, controling the pace we were moving at. I was going insane, I just wanted him. I want to feel him.
"Jake..." I sighed,breathlessly.
"I need you,right now." I groaned, arching my back, as he thrusted.
The sun bursted right through the curtains. We really needed new ones. I sigh, opening my eyes, to see Jacob sleeping soundlessly beside me,his arms still wrapped around my waist, he was pressed against my stomach. The thought, and the sight made me moan quietly.
A small grunt escaped his lips,"Bells..." His eye brows pulled together,"We need to buy new curtains." He removed one hand from waist, to rub his eyes.
I laugh softly,running the tips of my fingers along his lips,"I was just thinking that."
He quickly grasps my hand,dragging it down his body, and I snatch it away before it touched his manhood. He snickers."I could've sworn you were thinking about something else."
I shifted uncomfortably,"Before that I was thinking about... The curtains." I could feel the heat rising to my cheeks,and I hid my face in his chest.
He started laughing,"Aww, Bells don't be embarrassed." He lifted my face up to meet his, capturing my lips between his.
My fingers fisted his hair,as his tongue slipped between my lips running along mine. I moan softly.
It was short lived though, he pulled back, and yawned, stretching,"So how was it?"
I raise my eye brow,"How as what?"
He bit down on his lip,his eyes lidded,"Last night..."
"And part of this morning?"
He chuckles,"Ohh, yeah..."
I smile,"It was... Okay."
"Just okay?" He scoffs.
I giggle,"You were amazing..." I kiss his chin.
He smiles,"Oh I know. Considering the sounds you were making..."
I blush,"Oh shut up."
He laughs,"Oh babe." He kissed the top of my head," I love you so much."
I could feel the smile stretch across my face,"I love you too."
He smiles,pressing his lips gently to mine, once, and then sat up, making me sink into the bed more. I glare at him through narrowed eyes, and he chuckles.
"I have to take a shower."
"So do I!"
"Care to join me?" He winks.
"Of course not!" I jump up out of bed,"I bet I can beat you there!" I say running towards the bathroom,before he could get up.
But, not even a second later his arms wrapped around me, pushing me back as he pushed through the bathroom door. I cross my arms over my chest, as he starts laughing.
"When will you ever learn?" He chuckles.
I roll my eyes,"Damn all Werewolves." I grumbled under my breath.
"I heard that."
"Good." I mutter, marching into the bathroom with my head held high.