What if . Bella decided to reach over and kiss Jacob in her truck? Would that change how she feels about Jacob over all ? Knowing the feelings he has for her,knowing he could give her more. Knowing,she wouldn't have to change for him...
[Disclaimer]; not everybody posts the disclaimers in their fanfiction,but i'm going to. ;) Idon't own Twilight,or any of the characters in it. All belong to Stephenie Meyer- All though I wish I did.(;
A/N; I hope you enjoy ... :) & I'm starting at chapter 1 :)
Chapter 1; One Last Look.
My fingers were curled tightly around the steering wheel,as i stared out ahead of us. We were in front of Charlies-though his cruiser was missing. I bite the inside of my lip,my brows mashed together,listening to Jacob's breathing. He was staring out the window,as we sat in my old truck silently. Sometimes, I wish I knew what he was thinking,and then he let out a breath.
"What are you thinking,Bells?" he asks,breaking the awkward silence.
I loosen my grip on the steering wheel,and lean into the seat-sighing,"I,was ... Going to ask you the same thing." I tell him,glancing side-ways. He was still looking out the fogged window.
" You really want to know what i'm thinking about?" he questions,now turning to look at me.
His stare sent shivers through-out my body,and his question made me think about how to answer. Do I want to know what he's thinking about? The way he said it,makes me wonder if it's a bad thing- something I actually don't want to know. But,maybe I'm just over-thinking. I do want to know what he's thinking about,but,maybe when I do know-I'll regret asking what he was thinking about.
I'm over-thinking... I think.
I nod,"Tell me what you're thinking about Jake."
He smirks,his eyes slightly lidded."You." he whispers."Always..."
I sigh,and smile weakly."Jacob..."
He shakes his head,and takes my hands off the wheel-and into his hands,mine so small compared to his. I look down,not wanting to stare into his eyes-knowing it would be for the best. I think. Because,if I fall in love with Jake ... I'm just going to end up hurting him,when Edward comes back. Eward will come back,I know it... Jacob is my best friend,and i can't stand,loosing him.
"Bella,I love you. I've always loved you. And you know that,I know you know that." He sighs,"Bells,look at me. Please." I bit my lip,and shook my head.
"I can't." I whisper.
One hand disapeared from mine,and moved swiftly under my chin. Forcing me to look up at him,I tried to look away from his face,but mine landed on his. His gaze so intense,I couldn't look away. His hot breath was circulating around my face,the woodsy scent i always loved-intoxicating me. Wanting me to move closer to it. But I stayed where I was,our gazes interlocked.
I was waiting for him to say something,but he just remained speechless;his lips parted-as in lost in thought. I bit down on my lip hard,as the silence intensified. Just when realization hit me. My fingers slowly,crawling up his arms-as his hands hooked onto my waist-pulling me into his lap.
Jacob can never be just a friend to me. I've always seen noticed him,always known he was attractive to me in some way.But,Edward...
"I can't hurt you." I mumble,my lips brushing across his in the process. I never noticed how close we were until now.
"Do you love me?" he asks,his eyes closed-waiting for my answer.
I press my lips tightly together,curling my hands into fists-agaist his covered chest. "I..." i press my lips back together,taking a stead breath.
[for now... watching Salt :3]
Authors Note; Jacob is experienced in this story =]
Chapter 2; News.
I had fallen asleep on the couch after Jacob had in bed ; waiting for Alice. I remember it being approximately being fifty-eight minutes and her being a no show. Although she probably did come back two minutes after I passed out,which is sad,because i was excited to see her. Even though I know she can't stay forever,but the sleep has overwhelmed me and i'm unable to even tell my body to wake up. Sleeping has been a priority on my agenda ever since he left, a task. I could never get enough sleep anymore,unless I was in Jacob's warm,safe,strong arms.
Jacob. He always kept the nightmares away. He always brightens up my day just with his voice,and more so with his presence. I do have to admitt, that I love him. There's no point in denying it,because the only person i'd be fooling is myself. I don't know how I didn't see it before, I don't know how it took me so long to realise this. I mean, he's been in my life for awhile now,a long time friend. We've done everything together - except share our first kiss. It wasn't even Jacob's first kiss . I remember him telling me about it one day,while we were in his garage.
"Yeah, it was a few years ago. And, her name was Laya ... I think." he pursed his lips,and I laugh.
"Jake! That's so bad,you don't remember her name. Everybody remember ever little detail of their first kiss. Especially who it's with!" I tease him,and punch his arm softly.
He looks down at me,and sighs."Anyways,her name started with an 'L.' She was tall,skinny,beautiful-model-worthy , pretty much. Lucky me? That relationship only lasted a couple months. But those were a pretty damn few months. Her lips were so soft,and gentle ... She was new to the school. But when the guys started noticing this girls beauty,she became popular-and dumped me." he shrugs,and laughs slightly shaking his head.
I raise my eye brow,"Did you really like her?" I ask him,honestly. Engaged in the story,the way he described her.
He flashed me a wicked grin,"I did,yeah. Well, I thought I did. I knew it wouldn't last that long,because she waas older than me. " he rolls his eyes,"She's a pain in my ass now. Treats me like garbage,but that's normal because I treat her the same way." he smirks.
"You remember her name then don't you?" I ask,squinting my eyes.
He nods,laughing."It's embarrassing."
I pout,"Oh C'mon. It can't be thaat bad!"
He nods,chuckling."But it is! She's like three years older than me. And she's a complete bi-" he cuts himself off laughing,as he thinks of something.
I groan,and glare at him."Tell me!" i beg him,crossing my arms into my chest.
"Okay,okay,okay. Fine... Leah." he admitts,finally.
I bite my lip,trying to stop the laughter from exploding. But I fail,and I roll off the chair onto the ground,clutching my stomach-and dieing of laughter.
He sighs,and stands up walking over to one of the drawers,pulling out a wrench and examining it."Told you..."
I collect myself,and am able to say,"Clearwater? Leah Clearwater?" I ask,not believing him.
He nods,'Yeahh. Apearently she dated me out of pity. But that's only what she says now. Maybe that's why she hates me so much,but then she found Sam,and then Sam broke her heart. And now she's a bitter piece of crap."
I stand up,and walk over to him,"Was she happy with you though?"
He chuckles,his eyes twinkling."We had all sorts of fun together. Bashing the popular peoples' parties. The school dance. And ... Other stuff." he trails off , putting the wrench back into the drawer,and turning around to face me. "But I've never liked anyone ... As much as I've liked you." he whispers.
My heart raced at the memory,why didn't I love him then? Why couldn't I say the same thing back? Why couldn't I comfort him with love.Why? Because I denied it all my life that I would never like Jacob Black. That he'd only ever be a friend. But even two best friends of the opposite sex fall for eachother at some point. It always happens. So why didn't I see this coming? Jacob's loved me for so long,he's experienced heart break before,by someone he really liked. And me,constantly putting him down- but he never gives up. That's Jacob.
That's why I love him. He gave me time. He never gave up on me.
The memory continued in my mind.
I stood in front of him awkwardly,and he clears his throat."What about you? Who was your first kiss?" he asks,changing the subject.
"When I was twelve,this kid named Josh,came up to me and kissed me. He wasn't the most popular guy in school,but he was really cute." I shrug,"It was a one time thing. He was too shy to come up to me after that. And it wasn't like a full make-out session either,it was quick-short lived. A waste of my time clearly." Jake chuckles.
"I'm sure you'd like it more if it was though."
I jab him in the side with my finger,"I wasn't like that. And,I'm still not."
Jake moved closer to me,his lips inches from mine."I bet if it were someone else,you'd very much enjoy it." he whispers hoarsly. Sending shiver up and down my spine. "I've been told I'm good at it..." he mumbles.
I back away from him,and roll my eyes."I'm sure you are. But let's not get hasty here."
He shrugs,"We can go inside..."
"I should go!" I say quickly,grabbing my jacket. Trying to leave before I did anything stupid,like accept his offer.
He chuckles,"Bye Bells."
Why didn't I kiss him? Why didn't I take his offer?
"Bella? Hey,Bella!" I hear a voice in the back of my head shout. "BELLA!" the voice screamed,and I jolt forward out of my sleep. Out of the memories.
I look around hazily,and spot Alice at the foot of the couch. And Jacob sloushing across the other one,snickering.
"Charlie told me he's going back to the Clearwaters'. He wanted me to let you know." she whispers to me.
I nod,and look over at Jake."What's so funny?" I grumble,wiping the sleep out of my eyes.
Alice groans,which only makes Jake laugh a little more. "Ask your boyfriend."
I raise my brow,"We're not dating..."
"Yet." he says,then chuckles.
"Alright,what did I say?" I ask him,but eyeing both of them.
Jacob bites his lip,"Ohh,why haven't I kissed him before? He's a really good kisser... Hmmm..." he trails off snickering,and winks at me.
I blush , probably as red as a cherry."I said that?" I ask them.
Jake shakes his head,"That's not all !" he excalims,sitting up ready to mimik the rest." I love him so much,how come it took me this long to realise?Why do I love him so much? Then you sighed, and you smiled. Then you started muttering a whole bunch of stuff. I think you were dreaming about kissing me. Or us ..." he bites his lip hard,and throws out another wink.
Alice pretends to gag,and we both laugh. "Wow, I mean ... Like,wow. I know I was dreaming about that stuff... But,I never thought it'd be audible." I blush again,a deeper red.
"Well you did. And it was antognizing. I was about to leave,but I knew you wouldn't like that." Alice smiles slightly,"Oh,and I have to be back home by three o'clock,because that's when Edward gets back."
I cringe,"He doesn't know you herre... Does he?"
She shakes her head and sighs,"We're forbidden to think talk or be near you. And if he finds out ..." she sighs,again."Let's just hope he never does." Just then,her phone started buzzing. She stood up,flipping it open-her voice flowing swiftly but quickly all at once.
She walked out of the room,and Jake rolled off the couch onto his feet-and strides over to me. A smile planted on his face. Clearly he enjoyed my show.
I moved over,so he could sit beside me. As sonn as he did,he pulled me into his lap-plastering his lips to mine. I part lips,giving his tongue entrance-his breath circulating around my face,the heat only made myself fall into him like gel. I wish I could have this moment for life,quote on Nicki Minaj. Our tongues danced around in my mouth,his lips mesmorizing. He pulled back slightly,only to press his lips back to mine. Yes, I can admitt this awake now; he's a really good kisser.
His hands gripped my waist,pulling me closer to his body. My finger snake up his arms,and into his hair,but only seconds were my hands gripping his shirt,and lifting it over his head-pushing him back onto the couch. We broke the kiss,just to look at eachother. I hear Alice suddenly clear her throat, but she looks really giddy. Not in an excited happy way,but a scared worried way. Also disgusted. Jacob adjusts us , so i was sitting in his lap,as he leans back into the couch-with his arms around me.
"It's Edward." she says,her lips trembling.
My brows pull together,"What about him?"
"He's coming home soon."
Then the phone rings. Jacob sighs,and grudgingly gets up to go answer it. I follow him,and before he answers-he pushes me back up against the counter,and i shudder,closing my eyes-waiting for his lips to make contact with mine. But he just chuckles,and extends his arm to the phone-lifting it off the hook.
I roll my eyes,and lean against the counter,watching him.
"No,he's not here right now..." he says through clenched teeth,"Well I have a few words for you too!" he shouts into the reciever,"But i'll kepp my mouth shut,cause unlike you-" he stops talking,obviously being cut off. And I can't help but wonder who he's talking to. "Oh shut the hell up! You hurt her enough!"
It all clicked in,"Jacob give me the phone!" I demand.
He looks at me,and hold up a finger to dignicate for me to wait."I - Shut up! Jeez. She- No you can't! He's not here!" he keeps shouting.
"Jacob! Give me the phone!" I all but growel.
"He's at a funeral." he says in a small voice,remembering that it's Harry's funeral.
"Jacob give me the damn phone! It's my house,so give me the frickin phone!" I yell at him,but in a whisper. Knowing he could hear me,but he just glares at me - which silences me completely. He's never looked at me that way. It gave me chills,bad ones.
Tears collected in my eyes,but he kept talking."Bye!" he snarls slamming the phone onto the reciever.
"Who was it Jake." I ask,my voice coming out small. Knowing who it was. And that's exactly why he didn't give me the phone.
"Cullen." he spat.
I shake my head,and Alice barges in. Oh what now?!
"Jacob !" she growels,"You basterd!" she curses,her eyes black as coal.
"What do you want ,tinkerbell?"
"That was ... That was Edward you jerk!" she screams,"And now ... He thinks you're dead." she says turning to me. "Bella,he's ... He's going to go kill himself."
I turn to Jake,"JACOB! You! You should've gave me the freaking phone! Jacob!" I scream at him,pulling on fist fulls of my own hair. "JACOB!" I scream again. I love Jacob,so much. But Edward... I can't let him just go kill himself,becuse he thinks I'm dead.
I look at Alice,"How? Why does he think that?"
"I had a vision,of you jumping off a cliff. I didn't see you come back up! That's why I came here,and I told Rosalie,and she decided to tell Edward. That's why he called. To make sure you were still alive,and that it wasn't real. But Jacob told him that Charlie was at a funeral,and thought that he meant,yours..." Alice explained in a rush.
I gasp,and my eyes widen,"Jacob!" I scream again,the only thing I could think of.
"Bella,we don't have a lot of time. We need to,we have to go stop him before.." she couldn't finish,she grabbed my wrist pulling me forwards-but then Jacob jerked me back.
"You're not going with her. Please,tell me you're not really going with her." his eyes were full of worry and pain.
I take a deep breath and Alice looks at me with pleading eyes,"Please Bella,we have to. He's my brother. He won't believe me if I go alone..." she whispers. And if she could cry,i swear tears would be trickling down her face.
I look at her,then at Jake." I- Jake." I turn to look at him,and he knows.I take his hand in mine,"I love you."
Alice runs out the door-probably to her car,i then hear the engine start up. Before he can say anything,I run out the door ,and open the door to Carlisle's car,and get in the passenger seat. Tears rising in the corners of my eyes.
"Wait!" I hear Jacob yell,and Alice sighs impatiently.
He pokes his head through the window,and Alice leans back in disgust."Bella,please don't do this. If you love me... We could call this the test." he says,his lips quivering-tears falling one by one down his cheeks.
For God sakes. "Jacob,I love you." I remember him talking about the test he was going to put me through when I admitted to loving him. He never said what kind of test. But staying with him,I guess is the test. "I love you so much. But I won't be able to live with myself,knowing someone died because they i was dead." I tell him,biting down on my lip,"I just can't."
"Please,Bella. I'm begging you,please," he whispers faintly. Though knowing I am not going back.
I shake my head,"I'm sorry." I whisper,tears spilling over my face.
He nods,looking down."Bye Bella." he mutters,and turns away slowly,as if he just wasted his time on nothing. Throwing all his hope in the garbage.
Alice looks at me,asking if I was ready to go. I nod once, I'll come back for him. I promise.
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT WAS AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Is there more?
Yeah there are, btw. They're awesome!
These are addicting to read! Please keep making more or become an author and get these published so I can buy them!
That was awesome!!!
thanks ! I'm glad you liked it :))
& sorry for the occasional spelling mistakes & grammar mistakes ... :$ I'll make sure to proof read next time . :)
IDC i do it all the time so i know how it feels.
like one time on a essay i put r instead of are lolz
ahahah, niceee .
I usually alwaaays make mistakes when I'm writing, cause i do it off the top of my headd. I don't plan it or anything,so i usually end up adding another word or two that shouldn't be there.. lawl.
In my Computer apps class today e got chewed on for not capitalizing our I's