What if . Bella decided to reach over and kiss Jacob in her truck? Would that change how she feels about Jacob over all ? Knowing the feelings he has for her,knowing he could give her more. Knowing,she wouldn't have to change for him...
[Disclaimer]; not everybody posts the disclaimers in their fanfiction,but i'm going to. ;) Idon't own Twilight,or any of the characters in it. All belong to Stephenie Meyer- All though I wish I did.(;
A/N; I hope you enjoy ... :) & I'm starting at chapter 1 :)
Chapter 1; One Last Look.
My fingers were curled tightly around the steering wheel,as i stared out ahead of us. We were in front of Charlies-though his cruiser was missing. I bite the inside of my lip,my brows mashed together,listening to Jacob's breathing. He was staring out the window,as we sat in my old truck silently. Sometimes, I wish I knew what he was thinking,and then he let out a breath.
"What are you thinking,Bells?" he asks,breaking the awkward silence.
I loosen my grip on the steering wheel,and lean into the seat-sighing,"I,was ... Going to ask you the same thing." I tell him,glancing side-ways. He was still looking out the fogged window.
" You really want to know what i'm thinking about?" he questions,now turning to look at me.
His stare sent shivers through-out my body,and his question made me think about how to answer. Do I want to know what he's thinking about? The way he said it,makes me wonder if it's a bad thing- something I actually don't want to know. But,maybe I'm just over-thinking. I do want to know what he's thinking about,but,maybe when I do know-I'll regret asking what he was thinking about.
I'm over-thinking... I think.
I nod,"Tell me what you're thinking about Jake."
He smirks,his eyes slightly lidded."You." he whispers."Always..."
I sigh,and smile weakly."Jacob..."
He shakes his head,and takes my hands off the wheel-and into his hands,mine so small compared to his. I look down,not wanting to stare into his eyes-knowing it would be for the best. I think. Because,if I fall in love with Jake ... I'm just going to end up hurting him,when Edward comes back. Eward will come back,I know it... Jacob is my best friend,and i can't stand,loosing him.
"Bella,I love you. I've always loved you. And you know that,I know you know that." He sighs,"Bells,look at me. Please." I bit my lip,and shook my head.
"I can't." I whisper.
One hand disapeared from mine,and moved swiftly under my chin. Forcing me to look up at him,I tried to look away from his face,but mine landed on his. His gaze so intense,I couldn't look away. His hot breath was circulating around my face,the woodsy scent i always loved-intoxicating me. Wanting me to move closer to it. But I stayed where I was,our gazes interlocked.
I was waiting for him to say something,but he just remained speechless;his lips parted-as in lost in thought. I bit down on my lip hard,as the silence intensified. Just when realization hit me. My fingers slowly,crawling up his arms-as his hands hooked onto my waist-pulling me into his lap.
Jacob can never be just a friend to me. I've always seen noticed him,always known he was attractive to me in some way.But,Edward...
"I can't hurt you." I mumble,my lips brushing across his in the process. I never noticed how close we were until now.
"Do you love me?" he asks,his eyes closed-waiting for my answer.
I press my lips tightly together,curling my hands into fists-agaist his covered chest. "I..." i press my lips back together,taking a stead breath.
[for now... watching Salt :3]
post more soon it is good I hope that jake and bella get back togeather soon
Something went terribly wrong. </3
I just finished the last chapter... And when I saved it,nothing came up.
Which i worked very hard on. Ahh,this is kind of upsetting,so I might re-start it tomorrow.
Yeahh , I don't know. Maybe cause of the content. There wasn't much in the chapter,but maybe it was too descriptive :/
Well,it'll be up tomorrow(:
o thank you SO MUCH. I cant WAIT to see what happens!!:)
Chapter 46 ; Don't.
'Can we start over?' Did she seriously just ask me to start over? I gaped at her,my fingers grabbing at the sheets,my jaw tightened as my teeth clenched. She's asking me for us to start over? What is this women on? I look at her, her emotions changing from embarrassed,to worried. She looked down.
She surrouned herself in a blanket,biting down on her lip. She started playing with her fingers,waiting patiently for my answer. The thing is,I don't have an answer. I don't know what to say. I don't know what to think of this. Start over. That feels kind of like an insult. After everything we've been through and she just wants to pretend it never happened?
I left my family behind for her. My dad,my brothers,all of my friends,my school. My whole life,I left behind,for her. And she wants me to pretend I didn't give up everything to be with her? After every damn thing she put me through,and she wants me to forget about it all. Typical Bella move. I let out a long breath,shaking my head.
"I just want to do what's best for us, Jake." She murmers.
"Best for us? Since when does us have an I in it Bella? Or a you. You want to do what's best for you. Not me,not us. You." I huff.
She shakes her head slowly,"No..." She leaned up to place her hands on my cheeks,"Just,everything I've put you through,I don't want to remember that. I don't want to feel guilty when you smile at me. To start over,from the beginning,to give me another chance to make things better..." She lifted her shoulders,her lips pressing into a straight line.
"Do you understand what that means for me? I'm not going to forget all the crap you put me through Bella." I roll my eyes,"Selfish of you to ask of such a thing."
"I know..." She sighs.
"I can't just forget that,that,everytime I asked you for a chance-that you turned me down. I'm not going to forget when you told me cheated you on me. As soon as I leave,you went right back to the ..." I pinched the bridge of my nose,"And after last night you have the guts to ask me to forget?"
Her forehead creased,"You don't think it's going to be hard for me either?!" She blurted,"I'm the one who's been hunted down by vampires. I am the one who was abandoned in a forest,by someone I loved. I am the one who was left by you,with no reassurance of our relationship. I am the one who got pregnant. I am the one who had the miscarriage. Me,Jake,me! That baby was inside of me for eight months,and four half of it being there,you weren't with me!" she cried."Yeah,I did you wrong. I understand. I know I can't take that back. I left my family behind me too. You didn't have to runaway,we didn't have to. But,we did. And I just want to forget it all! I don't want to remember this!"
I look away for a moment. She had me. I didn't know what to say. If I wanted to say anything at all. This doesn't feel right. I imprinted on her, I shouldn't want to argue with her. It's like,as if, whenever she hurts me,the imprint starts to fade. Maybe that's it. I know I still love her though. I know I do. But,sometimes it's so difficult. Love. It's difficult.
"You don't understand. I did everything for you. I gave everything to you." I nails started to dig into the palm of my hand.
She parted her lips,then closed them.
"You did me wrong,Bella,you did."
She backed away from me,staring at the ceiling for a moment. Then she got off of the bed,and walked over to the dresser. She took out a pair of sweat pants,and a tank top,slipping into them. Then she disapeared out of the bedroom. I raised an eye brow,and hopped out of bed,grabbing a pair of my sweats,and pulling them on,then walk out of the room.
She was leaning against the kitchen counter,in front of the toaster. As soon as her toast popped,she grabbed the peanut butter,putting it on her toast,then ducked under me,to go sit at the table. The Silent Treatment. I roll my eyes,and grab the box of frozen waffles from the freezer. I put four in,then grabbed the syrup. After they were finished,I poured the syrup on,and sat across from her. Two can play at this game.
I stuffed my mouth with one waffle,as she took a small bite from her toast. She was avoiding my stare,looking down at her playe uneasily. She ran a hand through her,taking another bite-as I stuffed another one in my mouth. After I was finished,she just finished her first piece of toast. I smirk,as I get up-walking to the fridge,taking out the carton of Oranje Juice,to perform an evil task. I will surely get her to talk after this.
I sat back down in the same spot-across from her,and raise my eye brows. I took off the cap,and her head snapped up to stare at me. Her eyes narrowed,as I raised the carton to my lips,and then a piece of toast was flung at my face,sliding down my cheek,peanut butter first onto the ground. I put the carton down,wiping my cheek with the back of my hand. I stand up,picking the piece of toast off the ground,and plopping it into the garbage. I look over at Bella,who was glaring back at me.
I sit back down,resume. She still hadn't spoken. I will get her to speak to me. She hates when people drink right from the carton,exclaiming that they must've been raised by pigs. I'm a werewolf,time to get used to it,baby. I lifted the carton back to my lips,ever so slowly,til it touched my bottom lip. I saw her hand raise,with the plate in it. She wouldn't dare.
She raised her eye brows suggestively,the plate still in her hand. I lowered the carton,and she lowered the plate. I raised it back up to my lips,and took a big gulp. Ceramic smacked off my pieces,and clattered to the ground in a million tiny shards. She slid the chair out from the table,and walked away. She actually threw it. I pursed my lips,that kinda hurt ; emotionally,not physically. I put the cap back on the Orange Juice,and grabbed the broom and dust pan,carefully sweeping up her mess,and emptying the dust pan into the garbage.
I put the Orange Juice back in the fridge,and walk into the living room where Bella was purched on the couch,with the TV on. I took this time to take a quick shower. I could still smell her scent on me,I needed it to go. After the shower,I walked back out into the living room in a pair of shorts-still no shirt. But,it didn't seem to affect Bella at the moment. She was on her laptop now. I sat down beside her on the couch,turning the TV on,to watch football. But, I couldn't help but wonder what she was doing.
I glanced over at the screen from the corner of my eye,she was on facebook; talking to someone. I roll my eyes,and shrug. I wonder who she's talking to... I turn the TV back off,and get up,walking past her,stealing a glance at the screen. Crap,still can't see. I lean against the wall,and she walks past me with the phone in her hand. She walks into the bathroom,and I hear the faint click of the lock. I narrow my eyes.
I turn around into the living room,hopping onto the couch. She was still signed in. She only had one conversation open with ... Seth. I scroll to the beginning of the conversation,and start reading. This is probably a bad thing,but I couldn't help it.
Bella Swan ; Hey Seth !
Seth Clearwater ; Hey Bells ! :)
Bella Swan ; How're you doing ?
Seth Clearwater ; Pretty good,actually. I can phase again! :D How are you doin?
Bella Swan ; That's really good to hear ! And me? Oh, I'm okay...
Seth Clearwater ; What did he do now ? -.-
I crinkled my nose at that part. What did I do now? I snort.
Bella Swan ; He just doesn't understand. I know I always blamed myself for everything,but i'm not the only one at fault anymore. But,now he's blaming everything on me. Everything is suddenly always my fault ! I know I screwed up,but he can't constantly bring this up when we get into an arguement. Sometimes I feel like he was lieing about imprinting on me.
Seth Clearwater ; You know it's not your fault. Yeah, you messed up once. But, you're right- he shouldn't always be using that against you. And he loves you. You have to know that he loves you...
Bella Swan ; I don't know.
Seth Clearwater ; I miss you,Bella.
Bella Swan ; I miss you too :(
Seth Clearwater ; Call me ? <3
Bella Swan ; Sure thing. (:
And that's where the conversation ends. I let out a sigh,getting off the couch. I don't know what to think. 'You have to know he loves you' is what Seth said. And she said I Don't Know. Maybe,maybe I am the one who is doing wrong. My lips press into a tight line,as I walk past the bathroom,and jumped at the sound of Bella's uncontrollable sobs. I didn't want to listen,because I already read her conversation with Seth on the computer... But,again, I couldn't help it.
I pressed my ear to the door.
"Seth... No... I don't know... No,he doesn't love me... Well,he has a funny way of showing it." She muttered. Her sobs started to quiet down,as she spoke more clear now."Yeah, maybe you're right. That's true... I do,I love him. But he doesn't understand! He won't give me the time of a day!..." She giggles,"Yeah,I'm giving him the silent treatment..." She snorts,"Thanks... I wish I could see you too. I love you too. Bye." I heard the click of the phone,and her start walking towards the door.
I jumped backwards,into our room,and she walked in too. She had a bundle of blankets,and the bottle of febreeze. I sat in the corner of the room-she glanced at me,then went to strip the bed. She tossed them into the laundry basket,as she applied new sheets to the bed. She started to struggle with the comforter,and just hung her head. She climbed onto the bed,and stared up at the ceiling.
I climbed onto the bed beside her,wrapping my arms around her small body,and she tried pushing me away. I held her closer,and she sighed. I crawled over her,my hands on either side of her face,as I kissed her softly.
Instead of just saying [ end of book one,start of book two,blah blah] I'm just gonna continue the story. LOL,like a neverending one. I'm gonna try an add another chapter (:
Chapter 47 ; Her.
I stared into her eyes,her dark chocolate eyes,filled with depth,and reflecting sorrow,neglect,guilt. And as I stared into her eyes,it was as if I had fallen in love with her all over again. It suddenly felt as if a massive weight was lifted off my shoulders,and I felt her pain. I felt her sorrow,her neglect,her guilt. I felt her. I could feel her emotions running through my veins. Her dark brown eyes stared back at me,as her soft pink lips pressed into a tight line,her small fingers caressing my cheeks. Her long dark eye lashes,making her eyes more perturding. I couldn't let myself look away. I just couldn't look away from those eyes.
And in this moment,I realised, that it was true. I hadn't imprinted ; until now. To think that all this time, I thought we were true. That she was already mine. It never happened,until now. I could feel her heart beating against my chest. Her eyes started watering, and she bit down hard on her lip. And she noticed. She knew now too. I bet she could feel it. I bet she could feel my heat more than she could before. And now she knows, that I've always loved her.
I wedged myself between her legs, my lips crashing back down on hers. Her fingers gripped at my arms,her nails digging into my skin, as I placed open mouthed kisses down her neck,to her collarbone,and back up her jaw. I nipped softly at her neck, my tongue following after, then back to her lips. I ran my tongue along her lower lip,then dipped between her lips,catching hers. I grabbed at the pillow with one hand,and the sheet in the other, as I ground my hips into hers. I opened my eyes slightly,to see her biting down on her lip.
I close my eyes again, continuing to kiss her, thrusting my hips into hers again. A low moan escaped my lips, and I clutched the material in my hands harder. Her tongue ran along mine, and I pulled away. She didn't protest. I kissed down her neck, towards her chest,letting go of the pillow to trail my fingers down her sides. I hitched her leg around my waist, grinding into her again. She let out a huff of air, her chest heaving up and down. She wrapped her other leg around my waist, arching into me,and I pushed back down on her,receiving a moan.
"Wait." She breathed,"No."
I stared at her blankly,"No? What do you mean,no?" I bit down on my lip,as I thrust into her again,groaning.
She bit down on her lip hard,her back arching,then sank back into the mattress,"We,just,can't."
I shake my head,"No,we need this,Bells,we need this..." I groaned,my eyes shut tightly,as I ground into her again,she let out a low moan.
She groaned,"I just changed the sheets,dammit!" And with that she pushed me off of her.
I ran my hand through my hair,then down my face. Dammit.My eye brows pulled together, and I stared up at the ceiling trying to control my breathing. I tried thinking of something, soemthing to get rid of my sexual frustration. White. The walls are white. White, like snow. Snow,is white. Snow,is cold. Cold, juice. Juice, orange juice. Orange Juice, carton. Carton, peanut butter. Peanut butter,toast. Toast- Bella. Bella, oh. Oh, Bella. My breathing started to pick up again. Crap! I sat up,glancing over at her.
She was staring at a wall, her breathing still slightly ragged. She rolled off the bed onto her feet,and started towards the door,and I saw a tear slide down her cheek.
"Bella,wait!" I called to her.
She turned around,"What? What do you want?"
"Do you really care about the sheets?" I ask her,cocking a brow.
She shook her head,"That's not the point. I don't want to have sex with you."
My jaw dropped,"Since when?"
"Today." She answered."You can be a real jerk when you want to be,and then you go an try to take advantage of me?"
My lips pressed into a tight line,"I'm sorry. I really am."
"You had me so sure,all this time, that we were soul mates." She told me slowly,then she shook her head,"But,that's besides the point."
"I was convinced of that too. I'm sorry for being a jerk. But,do you think throwing the plate was really nessicary?" I questioned her.
She rolls her eyes,"Completely nessicary."
"Do you accept my apology?" I ask her.
She strides towards me,sitting on the edge of the bed,sighing."You didn't answer my question this morning."
"No. I don't want to start over. Not one bit." I told her. "But,before you jump to conclusions ; hear me out." I paused to see if she would object : She stayed silent. "We've been through Hell and back,together. That's what keeps us together,why forget everything that had made us who we are today? Yes,we have a lot of complications,but, nobody's perfect. What kind of relationship would it be,if no one did wrong? A fake one. It'd be a relationship full of secrets,and lies. That's not what ours is. Yeah, we had our lies and secrets here and there,but, look where we are? I love you. Always did,always will. Forever and always, Bells. There will never be a moment where I see you and have to wonder why I'm with you. But, there's always the moment where I see you,and think ; Well damn,how did I end up with a such a beautiful girl?" I take a breath,"So why start over? Why pretend nothing happened? There's sure to be more faults in the future. But, I promise to never leave you."
She took my hand in hers,and leaned in to gently press her lips to mine for a second,"I forgive you."
I smile, and wrap my arms around her,and she crawled into my lap,wrapping her arm around my neck,bringing my lips to hers."I love you too." She mumbled against my lips. She ran a finger down my cheek,"Sorry about throwing my toast at you,and the plate." She giggled.
I snort,"No harm done."
She smiles,"Mmm... Too bad." She pressed her lips to mine again.
"Too bad? What's that supposed to mean?"
"I want to remember that. Throwing a plate at you. Something to tell our kids one day." She snickered,then we both became silent.
She suddenly burried her face in my chest,a sob breaking through. I held her close to me,rocking her back and forth. I kiss the top of her head.
"I'm so sorry. So sorry." She kept repeating through sobs.
"S'not your fault,honey." I whisper.
"Feels like it though."
I shake my head,kissing her forehead once,"It's not. Baby, it's not your fault." I wrapped my arms around her tighter,feeling the need for her support too.
She tighted her arms around me,kissing my chest,then pressing her cheek against it. I run my hand through her chesnut brown hair,down to her back,then kept it secure around her waist. One day,we'll try again. One day we'll have children. One day we'll be sitting outside of our imperfect house, in the imperfect weather,in our imperfect clothes, with our perfect family. One day.
After a few hours, we both got out of the room,to make some food. It was already past lunch time,about five o'clock, so Bella started to boil some noodles,to make spaggetti. She opened the fridge door,and froze.
"What's wrong?" I ask.
She snorts,"You really put the Orange Juice back in the fridge? Gross."
new reader plz plz plz updated soon luv it
Omg i l luv yur story sooooooooooo much I waiting for u to update this is what I do *waits a about two minutes taps my fingers the whole time in those two minutes pushes refresh n nothing shows up new then I get sad but repeats * plzs plzs plzs plzs update real soon :'(