Even though I had known this was coming, that in no way made it better.
They say that it isn't about the destination; it is about the journey, I think that now I know the true meaning of that phrase. You know that the inevitable is coming for you, the journey merely postpones that. But when the destination of your journey is so terrible, sometimes the journey - as horrible as it is - can prepare you in some ways. Sometimes.
However, nothing could have ever have prepared me for this. When the inevitable is coming for you, there is no one that you can trust. I have learnt this, and so many over things from this journey. I have found strength, life, and the true meaning of the word 'love'. Maybe there was some force that made sure not everything was agony, that made sure that you had some happiness. This final destination was horrible, but I wouldn't trade what I have found and disscovered from it for anything.
They had come for us. They had come for me.
As if our thoughts were shared - which they practically were, we both shrank into each other, not only for warmth, but for comfort, just curled up against each other, listening to each others breathing and watching our own breaths make beautiful swirling clouds in the freezing morning air.
We were waiting.
No matter what the outcome of this would be, my whole life would change.
If we had the advantage, we would have a great duty, a duty that we could not shake off. We would be murderers.
If we lost, I would die. We would all die. The world would revolve around as if we were never here, but my world would stop, along with at the worlds of twenty-two people, at the minimum.
After many, many minutes of silence, we heard the sound we had known was coming.
The gentle breeze, that we knew could only mean one thing.
To someone else, someone who had a normal life, this might have meant a gust of wind, but to me it meant so much more. It meant that the danger was here, it meant that screams would soon pierce the morning, it meant that everyone I cared about was about to put their lives on the line. It meant this could be my final breath, it meant that my entire world could crumble down around me completely. It would crumble down.
But above all it meant one thing.
They were here.
Thanks for taking time to read this short preview. I really appreciate it!
I would really like to no wether you like it or not, so please reply in the comments and tell me if you want me to continue!
Have just caught up on your story, it is very exciting and i cant wait for what happens next, looking forward to it! Keep the chapters coming.... I love your story.
It was around nine o’clock, and the pack had just finished dinner.
There had been quite a big food fight after dinner, and I felt exhausted. I felt so drowsy I could fall asleep right now.
Most of them had gone home, but Jacob and Seth had stayed to watch some soccer game. I honestly don’t see the point in it at all. The people just run about, and nothing happens apart from one team getting incredibly depressed! What good does it do?
“A nicely done assist from Walker-Jones, and its Nicolson, Nicolson diving for the ball. He’s racing down the pitch. Ladies and Gentlemen, this could be the- AND IT’S A SHUTDOWN! A very cleanly done steal from Payne there! Payne takes the ball…”
The commentator went on and on in the same shouted tone, belting out some sort of strange football-language. Shutdown? Assist?
Jacob and Seth seemed to be widely into it though, screaming at the plasma TV when the commentator roared “And the double team was averted by Ashworth!” I was surprised they hadn’t seriously harmed the furniture.
Feeling tired, I absent-mindedly rested my head on Jacob’s warm shoulder and began to close my eyes, when I heard a sharp intake of breath from behind me.
I turned around to see Dad walking out of the living room.
Why was he acting like this lately? What did he have against me being with Jacob? We were just friends!
I tried to put the mental image of his angry expression elsewhere, and went back into my position next to Jacob, but this time not resting on him, and attempted to drift into unconsciousness.
Any sort of rest would surely be easier than wondering why my father could possibly be so angry that I was sitting with my best friend.
No, you are being silly, said a voice inside my head, he was probably angry about the football or something else. He likes Jacob. Doesn’t he
I was about to fall asleep, when I heard hushed voices upstairs. I doubted Seth and Jake could hear them over the noise. I strained my ears.
“It’s not right!” said an angry voice that I hardly recognized.
“They’re friends, Edward, she’s just a child, you can’t stop her from being with her friend,” I recognized that voice.
It was Mum, and she was trying to sound soothing, but I could here the hidden rage beneath that tone, and from what I had heard, that rage was because of Dad.
I stood up, with a murmured ‘I’ll just be a second’ and walked slowly up the stairs. Trying to make as little sound as possible, I stood outside my Dad’s old bedroom, where the voices seemed to be coming from, and pressed my eye to the keyhole.
“Edward, she is our daughter! She can spend time with whoever she likes!” Said Mum, an impatient tone now entering her voice.
“I thought you were against it too! And now you are all for our daughter getting together with that mutt!” he hissed.
His face was contorted with rage, and I felt horrified at how him and mother seemed to be having a fight!
“Don’t call him that!” she retorted, “Whether you like it or not, Jacob is a part of our family now,” she was starting to sound desperate I thought that you and him were friends?”
“You used to hate the idea of him being with our daughter!” He shouted, acting as if he hadn’t heard her. Mum took a deep breath.
“Edward. When I first found out, I was angry. You know I was. I didn’t want our daughter to end up with a man who was only a few years younger than me, of course I didn’t, not at the time.
“But come on Edward,” she said, a hint of exasperation entering her tone now, she threw her hands in the air, “Can’t you see them together?!
“He makes our daughter happy! And if anything will make the fight easier for her, I don’t care what the hell that thing might be!”
She took a deep breath, as if to steady herself, and continued in a softer tone, “Look, do you honestly think that Jacob-”
“He wants to be together with our daughter! Doesn’t that bother you?” He said, seething.
“Tell me Edward, has he ever, ever thought something inappropriate about our daughter?” She asked, sounding angry.
He had no answer for that, but bitterness glinted in his eyes.
“She is beginning to like him too, I can see it. I can hear it too.” My stomach tightened.
“You can’t seriously be blaming her!” Her brows furrowed, giving her a scary-looking expression, “It’s as much in her instinct as her! Neither of them can help it. Surely you can see that!”
“So you still side with the mutt!” snarled Dad.
“No, Edward,” Mum said, and this time her voice didn’t display an emotion, but it was final, “I side with our daughter. And you should too.”
Dad looked stunned, and then anger crossed his face.
“Are you saying that I don’t love our daughter?” he roared.
“No,” she yelled back in an equally aggressive tone, “I’m saying that your judgment of Jacob is outrageous. You know, he used to say that you were playing a game for me, and I always stood up for you!
“But now I see that he was right. You won Edward! Jacob wanted me to be with you, he gave in just to make me happy! Even though it hurt him in ways I can’t describe.
“He gave up his brothers just to protect me and your family, who he hated! He went against his family for you! Then when he did all that, he could have just walked out of here, and left me with my new life! But, no.
“He stayed here and let me be best friends with him, even though it was against every fiber of his being. Just because he thought that it would hurt me if he went. Just to make me happy!
“Then we put all of the people he loves lives in danger and he supports the daughter of the women he used to love and the man who she chose over him,”
When she next spoke her voice was calmer, but it sounded slightly broken, “And you still can’t trust him?”
Her expression was almost sad, and a bit pitying. He however, looked thoroughly offended, and then more rage crossed his face.
“You seriously think-” he began, bottled up rage clear in his tone. I didn’t understand how he could still think of a reply to that. Didn’t he feel some trace of guilt at all? He was clearly going to fight to the bitter end, but Mum help up a finger to silence him.
“Just wonder if you want your want your daughter to think of you as supporting, or the man who kept her away from the person that she loved. Think which man you want to be.”
I barely had half a seconds warning before I heard her coming towards the door. As quickly and silently as I could I raced downstairs and jumped back on the sofa, ignoring Jacob’s questioning glance.
I tried to focus as hard as I could on the little people running around on the TV.
“And it’s a corner kick! Mustaff kicks… and it is out of the ark!”
I tried to make sense of these meaningless words, and try to put some meaning to them, but they seemed so un-important I wondered how Jacob or Seth could be so raptured by them.
There were so many, many more important things than the fate of a football team.
I simply couldn’t. my head was still brimming with the mere information that my parents had fought.
I was angry with my father for not trusting me, but I knew that I deserved it. When will I stop hurting people for no reason?
But much stronger than the anger I felt towards my father, was the way I felt towards my mother.
She had showed amazing compassion for me. She had protected me over the man that she loved, even though I knew that deep down she didn’t really want me to be with Jacob.
I couldn’t believe that they could do this! My head was burning with images of them, so unlike anything I had ever seen before.
Never before had I seen such hurt cross my mothers face, never before had I seen such anger on my fathers.
I imagined us as magnets.
That my father was negative, and my mother was positive, unstoppably drawn together. But I was messing everything up.
I was positive on one end, negative on the other. If you put the magnet facing differently, so that they look like a cross, everything is fine. But now I had turned myself around.
I whether I was attracting my mother and repelling my father, or it was the other my round, I was just pushing them further away.
Once you threw in Jacob, you had a nightmare.
“Are you ok?” came the voice of my mother from behind me. I jumped to hear her so close. Her voice was calm and chimed like bells as always, it was almost near impossible to hear her shouting at dad in that shrill voice.
If I hadn’t gone upstairs I would have never known something was wrong.
“Yes,” I said. My voice sounded like a croak. I couldn’t even turn to face her. I knew that my expression would alert her that something was wrong, or even scare her.
I don’t think I would be able to hide that fact that just seconds ago I had heard her screaming to defend me. To defend Jacob.
“Are you sure?” this time it was Jacob who spoke, turning away from the soccer and looking at me with genuine concern and worry on this face.
There was a small hiss from upstairs, and I saw Mum wince, but Jacob didn’t seem to hear anything.
“Yep,” I said, trying to sound confident, and failing, but before anyone could interrupt I said “I’m just a bit tired. I think I need to go to bed.”
And before anybody could protest, I sped out of the room.
I was lying in bed, and thinking about how I could possibly make sense of the mess I had created.
Selfish, I thought to my self, you’ve made your parents fight, and you’ve created a huge mess with your best friend.
Outside my white-framed window, the night was dark. There was no moon, and you could barely see the stars.
I wonder if someday I’ll look at these stars, and feel comfortable with them watching over me. Now I just felt that they were judging me.
Coldly looking down at me saying ‘you’ve messed up everything’ ‘why would you ruin everything’ ‘your mother trusts you and you eavesdrop, and don’t even try to protect her’
I closed my eyes, as if that would shut out my conscience.
My door creaked, ad I saw my Mum peeping her head around the corner of my door, checking to see if I was awake. When I gave her a weak smile, she came in and sat on my bed.
“You were acting really strangely tonight. What’s wrong?” she asked. I felt so touched by the worry displayed on her face, I thought I should tell the truth. Well, some of it at least.
“Jacob.” I said simply.
She seemed to know what I meant. She nodded sympathetically.
“You know whatever happens with him and you, I will always support you.” I noticed how she was very careful not to say ‘me and your father will support you’.
“Between you and Jacob, things will happen. But your must never, ever feel like it’s wrong. Do you promise?” She said.
I was touched. She cared about me so much, and I was lying to her. Guilt curled in my stomach.
I wished that I could trust myself as much as she seemed to.
I looked up at her to see that she was still waiting for my reply
Could I really swear that I wouldn’t blame myself?
“I promise,” I said, and forced the corners of my mouth to curve upwards into a forced smile.
With a quick hug, she left the room and turned out the light.
I heard her go into her room, though I wasn’t quite sure why, as she didn’t sleep. I lay there for hours before I heard Dad come in. I didn’t hear him open the door to Mum’s room.
I lay there thinking.
How much damage had I done to their relationship? I don’t think that it was permanent, but now it was serious. And with the approaching fight, it was critical that they make up.
I thought about what I had said to Mum.
When was I going to stop lying?
aww poor Nessie :( she feels like she's ruining things just because her feelings are growing stronger and wow that was some intense fight between Bella/Ed
Thanks! I should be updating soon-ish
wow. just the intro and i'm already sold!!
I peered round the corner of her door.
Renesmee had been acting really off. At everything somebody said, or every noise, she twitched away from the sound. Her eyes were fixed on the screen, but she seemed to be something else than the boring football match.
I was really worried.
What could possibly force this reaction out of her? Was she feeling sick?
Seeing her now only enhanced my concern.
She was curled up in a tight ball, hugging the blanket to her chest. Her eyes were squeezed closed so tight it must be hurting her. Her skin that had seemed to become paler and paler over the last few days was now scarily white. Prehaps even whiter than mine.
There were black bags under her eyes that suggested she hadn’t slept in a long time. She looked like she was sick.
When she saw me looking at her she gave me a small smile, that didn’t exactly reassure me. It was much to forced.
Whenever she kept a neautral expression it was near impossible to tell how she was feeling or what she was thinking. But when she pretended to feel something that she wasn’t, she was like an open book.
I walked over slowly to her bed.
“You were acting really strangely tonight. What’s wrong?” I asked her, coming to sit on her bed.
She seemed to think this through for a while.
“Jacob.” She said.
How could I be so stupid!
She must be so confused. All her feelings for Jacob must be really overwhelming. She couldn’t know what to feel about him. I can’t bear to think about how complicated it must seem to her.
She was only three years old and she had to deal with her and her family being in mortal (well, sort of) danger. And on top of it all her best friend had suddenly been shown in a different light.
I didn’t want to think how she would feel if she knew that me and Edward had been arguing.
Thinking that gave me a small pain at the bottom of my stomach.
I quickly put it out of my mind and tried to think what to say next.
“You know whatever happens with him and you, I will always support you.” I began, “Between you and Jacob,” I tried to think of a way to phrase what I meant. I settled on “things will happen.” She seemed to take this in, not seeming surprised, “But your must never, ever feel like it’s wrong. Do you promise?” I asked.
She looked down at her bed, and for a second I was scared that she would say ‘I can’t promise that’ or just ‘no’.
She seemed to contemplate this, and eventually she took a deep breath.
“I promise,” she said, giving another of those painful smiles.
I gave her a quick hug, and went out of the room.
When I had stepped out, an odd thought struck me.
Without Edward I simply had no idea what I should do.
Without Edward, the words echoed in my head. No, I wasn’t without Edward. We had just had a small fight.
Though we never sleep, night is sort of a ‘resting time’. It is much less active, even though the idea of our bodies needing ‘rest’ or ‘peace and quiet’ was not far from ludicrous.
I walked into my room, not really sure what I would do there.
I thought that maybe now might be a good time to look through the clothes that Alice had bought me what seemed like only three seconds ago. It couldn’t be three years.
I opened the huge doors and faced a task that was very simple, yet would probably take an hour, even with my super-speed.
It wasn’t too hard to decide.
In endless bags with names like ‘Prada’ ‘Gucci’ (that Alice was constantly telling me to pronounce ‘Goo-chee’, not ‘gucky’) ‘Armani’ ‘Ralph Lauren ‘Channel ‘ ‘Balmain’ ‘Burberry’ and ‘Balenciaga’, It was near impossible to find anything not to throw out.
In the end I was left two plain white t-shirts, a lovely blue blouse, a pair of jeans and a short creamy-beige skirt.
When I was looking at the back of the huge – now pretty much empty – room, I found a brown box. It was hidden under a hot pink cocktail dress, but part of it’s corner was showing.
I bought it out and carefully placed it on the bed.
What would be in here? It couldn’t be shoes, Alice had them all piled up in a huge box, and I suspected that she had another box somewhere, full of spares.
Gently, I took off he lid.
Inside there was a picture of a teenage girl. She had long brown hair, and pale pink skin. She could have looked normal, apart from her eyes.
In them was such glorious happiness you could hardly look away. They practically set her normal-looking self on fire. Even from this slightly faded picture, it was blinding.
She was wearing a beautiful white dress, with a flower-like pattern around her sleeves. It trailed gracefully on the ground.
Next to her was the most beautiful man in the world.
Even she was nothing next to him. Every single feature of his looked like a masterpiece carved by angels. You could have easily mistaken him for being a marble statue, exept he had the same expression that made it clear he was in complete ecstasy.
It was us on our wedding day.
More memories flooded into my head.
A van was coming towards me at a blinding speed.
I closed my eyes, knowing that it was hopeless to even attemot to move.
Cold hands grabbed me. They were too cold.
His perfect was face was calm, his eyes closed shut.
His body was shinning with the light of a million fireflies, even though in this meadow it was one of the brightest days Forks had ever seen.
My heart raced as I said the final words that would forever seal my fate.
I knew now that it was just a fight. I had thought – rather ignorantly – that him and Jacob had put their differences behind them and tried to be friends. Of course, I had been wrong.
They may be able to co exist, but they could never be friends. Edward would always disgust Jacob, and Edward would always be prejudice against Jacob. They could exist peacefully, but the tension would always be there.
Nessie finding out about the imprint had been the final straw.
How could Edward want his daughter to be with the man who had once loved his wife? It was against pretty much everything he believed in.
Of course, it didn’t mean that he loved our daughter any less. Of course not. It just meant that his hate for Jacob was strong enough that he didn’t quite realize that he would rather have his daughter happy than her best friend gone, and never allowed to see her again.
It was just a fight. Nothing big.
How could we make it seem serious as we had?
For a few hours, I thought how I could apologize. I didn’t really want to apologize. I had been right in most of the things I had said – even if I did exaggerate a bit -, he had been stubborn.
He just hadn’t wanted to admit that his love for his daughter was stronger than his hate for his natural enemy.
I heard the rushing sound of the wind warping around a speeding vampire approaching the cottage. I almost smiled. That would be Edward.
I would say that I was sorry, and he would apologize and everything would go back to normal. Apart from the coming fight, but even that seemed less important than me fighting with Edward.
Imagine that. I fight that would decide the fate of the vampire race seemed more trivial compared to me having a fight with my husband.
The front door creaked open. I waited.
He didn’t open the door.
Of course, I thought to myself, just because you are ready to make up, it dosen’t mean that he is. He’s probably still angry at you.
I was determined that we would put this behind us.
But was he?
This forest was dark.
I suddenly realized that I was running, branches were flashing past me at an amazing rate. Beside me was a trickling bourne.
I looked around me and saw that my parents were running on either side of me, smiling.
The beauty of this moment overwhelmed me, and I felt great happiness.
But the happiness was odd.
It wasn’t exactly the happiness itself, it was the way I felt it. It didn’t feel like a great relief to feel so happy, it felt like this happiness was not entirely out of the ordinary, like it was almost ‘common’ for me to feel like this.
I looked over and saw that the river seemed to be overflowing. I stopped running, and my parents followed suit. Curiously, I looked over the river.
And then I was falling.
Water was all around me and I couldn’t breathe. It wasn’t the lovely sky blue color it had seemed from the other side of it.
The blackness consumed me and if I weren’t actually drowning I would use it to describe the way I was engulfed in this harsh blackness.
It felt freezing, worse than ice, worse then my parents’ hands. Worse than everything.
My lungs were filling up with water. I was dying, I was drowning, and I was gone…
Hands grabbed me and were pulling me to the surface. As my head broke the top of the water I was gasping desperately for air. I lay on the floor of the forest, coughing and trying to calm down.
When I could breath again, I opened my eyes and saw that my parents were nowhere to be found. Panicking, I stood up and tried to see them.
Then I heard the splashing of water.
I ran over to the river that had hugely expanded and saw my parents.
They looked like ghosts. Their pale skin when surrounded by water seemed like a very light shade of blue, and their golden eyes looked green. They didn’t look like they were drowning. They weren’t flailing their arms about, trying to get to the surface, they were frozen, still unmoving.
The sunlight threw sharp beams of light onto my face. I blinked over and over telling myself, it’s just a dream, but I couldn’t stop shaking.
Why had the dream been so scary?
There were so many logical flaws.
How could my parents drown when they didn’t need air? Why would they be kept under the surface of the water when they were easily able to lift a cement truck? Surely fighting small ripples on the water shouldn’t be so hard?
Rivers couldn’t expand! That was impossible! And my parents saving me from drowning shouldn’t reverse the situation, should it?
It was so flawed, and so terrifying.
Maybe one of the reasons it was so scary was because it showed my parents so vulnerably. Though I felt slightly ashamed to admit it, I didn’t worry about my parents as much as I probably should.
With their impossible hard and granite-like skin, their amazing strength and their incredibly expeditious speed, I had never felt the need to be more concerned for them as was practical.
But this dream had showed them in a completely new light.
They had been too weak to overcome water, so dependent on their lungs that they drowned.
But the worst part of the dream was that it was my fault.
They had saved me and drowned in the process. And then when they were submerged they didn’t even ask for help. They just let me watch them float to the bottom of the river.
Perhaps it was the feeling of such responsibility. In that dream I had been completely in charge of my parents lives. Possibly, the dream had been a way of me telling myself not to take such responsibility, like my mum had said.
I wondered how old I was.
If other people had heard me thinking this, they would assume I had gone mad, but to me I just simply didn’t know.
Other children could simply take their age and say ‘I’m big for a nine year old’ or ‘I’m small for a twelve year old’, but of course I couldn’t do that. Well, I could say that I was just very, very, very big for a three year old, but even that would be an understatement. About what age did I physically look? Twelve, or eleven? I decided on twelve.
But the hardest one was what age mentally. When I said this, I meant how mature I was, When other people say I they may have meant ‘you’re a twenty year old trapped in a nine year olds body’, but it was much more complicated than that.
Maybe I was twenty? Thirty? Forty? Fifty? Sixty?
My head buzzed, and I shook it in a vain attempt to clear it.
Again, I shook my head, and decided to get ready for the day.
Darting over to my wardrobe, I pulled clothes over my head, not knowing what they were, and not caring. I just wanted to do things, anything to keep my mind off the dream.
Running into the bathroom, I brushed my teeth in a quick blur, and got my hairbrush. When I turned to the mirror, I almost gasped.
I looked so different.
Around my eyes were huge black circles, and huge frown marks. The last time I had looked in the mirror my face had looked like one of a normal, happy ten-year-old. Now I looked like someone who had suffered a thousand sleepless nights, and a hundred years of pain.
My once bouncy bronze curls now lay flat around my face. When I pulled one of them they had once bounced back up, now they stayed in the same place.
What had happened?
I sped towards the house, trying to put what I had seen behind me. Why had it been so scary for me to see what I looked like?
No wonder my mother seemed to be worried about me. Of course I would have had to mature mentally over past couple of days. Who wouldn’t?
It made no sense to be surprise that I had changed physically too. I would have matured fast physically even if I knew a fight was coming. A fight that would determine my entire future would come, and I still didn’t know what to do.
If we lost, what would I do? I’d be safely up the mountain with Jacob.
Should it not make me feel bad to know that all I really cared about was Jacob being safe? With me?
Don’t think like that, I thought to myself, of course you care about your parents’ safety!
But I already cared about Jacob more.
I knew I loved him now.
I knew that nothing could stop me loving him. Whether that was my father’s disgust, my Mum’s clear resentment or anything else the world could throw at me.
It wouldn’t be a surprise if I found out that I had loved him all along.
Wow just caught up and things are really changing.
Is it Nessie that reaches Bella's door rather than Edward? Has Nessie turned into a vampire?
Thank you for your reply!
Nessie is in a difficult place now with Edward. She is loves Jacob, but she also loves her father. IN the end, she is feeling completely torn in two.
I will try to update this weekend.
Also, I loved your new chapter of CGL! The twist with Cuculus was amazing, and it also explains a lot!
wow I liked Bella's chapter and poor Nessie. That nightmare freaked me out too