This is rewrite of my only successful story. XD
I began writing Black Swan on August 28th in 2010.
I know there were TONS of mistakes the first time around, and I have a feeling I could make it better now. Before I was just blindly stumbling into writing, but now I really think I could make it better. I know I had a bunch of people that read it the first time and I hope to have just as many this time, if not more. (does this sound too hopeful?)
(No I did not take the title from the ballet movie, nor does have ballet in it. I was phsyched when I found out there was a movie coming out with the same name as my FanFiction. XD)
BANNERS ARE ALWAYS WELCOME!
(Like the banner? It was made by the wonderful Minnie!)
I looked into his eyes and saw only pain. How could I have been so stupid? This was everything I had ever wanted, everything I had dreamed of. He was the image of sheer perfection in my eyes. But this was entirely my fault, and now I was paying for it.
“I’m so sorry, please, you have to believe me.” I looked into his eye, mine pleading.
“I want to, I really want to, But I don’t think I can.” His tore away from mine as he turned around. I felt tears spill over the ridges of my eyes as I watched him walk away. I sank against the wall and watched him until he became too small and too blurry for me to see anymore. I closed my eyes and pulled my knees tightly to my chest as I fell; fell into the black desperation and self-pity that were now closing over me.
PS: I greatly enjoy feedback.
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XD thank you Luna. =P
I'll update soon!
=D (feel free to add teeth to this.)
I loved it!
My family complains that I wear too much black and that my eyes are always covered in black mascara and eyeliner but honestly I don't see a problem in it.
I climbed into the beat up Chevy. I wasn’t ready for this. I started the car and put it in gear, reversing it out of the driveway and into the street, heading toward my certain doom. School should be illegal, or at least optional. The socially impaired should be able to choose to go or not. The drive was silent, considering the radio didn’t work; Jake was still working on that for me. I parked in a place that looked good. I gathered my way to heavy backpack and my keys, getting out of the car, but only to be slammed back into it. Someone had pulled into the space next to me, very quickly I might add, and hit me with their passenger door. “Um, ow,” I said rudely and then wished I could take it back. The guy getting out had beautiful hair, a mixture of red, bronze, and brown. His deep blue apologetic eyes stared at me and then looked down at my scattered school supplies. He bent down quickly, helping me gather them up. “I’m so sorry, my fault, I didn’t mean to hit you,” He looked back through the open passenger door toward the driver of the car. “Rose, you have to be careful! You nearly drove right over,” He looked at me.
“Bella,” I said quietly, shoving things back into my backpack.
“Bella,” He repeated, I could hear the slight smile in his voice. I looked up to see a perfect crooked grin across his lips.
“Yeah, whatever just hurry up will you?” She said it as a question, but the tone of her voice made it seem like a command. She got out of her car one leg at a time. He heels making her legs seem impossibly long.
“I’m Edward,” He said and extended his hand to help me off the concrete. I gave him a sheepish smile, not trusting my voice. I looked at him through the hair that had fallen in my eyes, God, he was gorgeous. “And this, well this is my less than pleasant right now, girlfriend, Rosalie.”
“Yeah, I prefer Rose.” She sneered at me and I watched as her eyes traveled up and down my body. Taking in the blackness I guess. She rolled her perfect topaz eyes. “Come on Eddy.” She said and started to strut away. This time it was him who rolled his eyes. It looked like waves, only they were moving further and further away from me instead of coming closer as waves would. He winked one perfect eye at me and then followed he like a lost puppy.
I put the remaining things in my backpack and then heaved it onto my shoulder. I watched them as they walked away, not sure why though. I heard a very loud bell go off and decided I should probably get going before the late bell rang.
Praying the strap didn’t break, I heaved the backpack higher on my shoulder and stuck my arm through the other one. I started for the school, dreading for the front office, but intrigued by the people. I wonder if they were all like that. I smiled to myself as I walked into the school.
Great, I hated science, especially biology, which happened to be my fourth block. I shoved my schedule back into my backpack. At least the day was almost over. Lunch was first though, I had lunch four and my stomach had been begging me for food since the bell for first lunch went off. I walked into the cafeteria and looked for a place to sit. “Hey, isn’t that the new girl?” I heard a prissy voice whisper behind me.
“Yeah, I think so,” said a more timid voice, “Do you think we should invite her to sit with us?”
“Do you think I can’t hear you?” I said turning around, feeling my brow furrow slightly. I reeled around on them, they looked startled. I sighed to myself; did I have to be so rude?
“Well then what are you waiting for?” Thee prissy voice said. “Our table is over there, sit or don’t, I don’t care.” Great, I had offended her.
“Hi, sorry, let’s start over,” The timid voice said. “I’m Angela,” She smiled and stuck her hand out for me to shake, but I didn’t take it. I was too busy thinking about the germs that might be crawling over them. “That less than positive person is Jessica. She said and used the hand she extended to elbow Jessica in the side. I followed them to their table.
“Thanks for letting me sit with you guys.” I said quietly to Angela. She smiled again; she had a sweet smile, with her glasses and dark hair she seemed like she would be a good friend. I’d probably go to her if I need one, but no I didn’t friends, or even a friend. I was perfectly fine on my own. I let my short black hair fall in my face and heard the door behind me open. I turned around to see who it was, only to turn right back around abruptly. I saw Jessica gawking at them. I didn’t blame her, they were gorgeous. I was sure they were the schools “it” couple. I couldn’t stop myself from turning back around to look at them; Edward saw and winked at me again. I felt a faint heat trickle across my cheeks and the turned back around. No, I would not let this happen; I would not stare at him, no matter how gorgeous he was. I would not end up like my mother. All men were animals and deserved what they get.
“Did you see that?!” Jessica said to Angela.
“No, what?” Angela asked.
“Edward, winked, at, of all people, her,” I turned my head and gave Jessica a stare, but then realized I was being rude again and stopped.
“So,” Angela said.
“Are you kidding me?” Jessica rolled her eyes at Angela and then turned to me. “Look, don’t get you hopes up just because he winked at you. He’s a player. He’s had nearly every girl at this school.” She rolled her eyes again. “He’s not going to give you the time of day once your newness goes away.”
I sighed, “Don’t worry, I’m not interested. He doesn’t give me the time of day now, and Im not going to give it to him either.” I looked at her and then shook my head. I got up and left the cafeteria. I went to biology, even though there was still fifteen minutes before the bell rang.
Once I had found my seat, the one Mr. M has assigned me, I pulled out my book and began to read, only to realize I hadn’t eaten, my stomach was going haywire. I ignored and read until the bell rang. My hair was in my face and I didn’t look up until I heard the chair next to me scrape against the ground. I looked up only to have the air stolen from my chest. It was him. Great, I was definitely going to have to give him the time of day now.
So what'd you think? =D
great post more soon