I've been working on this fan fiction for about a month I suppose and I've been posting it on Fan Fiction.Net. It's called The Twilight Saga - Solar Flare. It's basically the story of what would have happened if Jacob and Bella had kissed in New Moon without that phone call interrupting them. It's the story of what would happen if Jacob and Edward's roles were reversed. I've already got 3 chapters made and I'm working on chapter 4 now. I thought I might as well post them here as well.
The story begins right when they're about to kiss.
"Bella," Jacob whispered.
I was frozen.
No! I hadn't made this decision yet. I didn't know if I could do this, and now I was out of time to think. But I would have been a fool if I thought rejecting him now would have no consequences.
Maybe it would feel nice. Maybe it wouldn't feel like a betrayal. True love was forever lost, so who was I betraying? Only myself.
Keeping his eyes on mine, Jacob began to bend his face toward me. The closer he got, the more unsure I became. Was I really going to do this? How badly would this end up? Would this end badly? He held my face still and closed his eyes as his lips met mine, my eyes shut as well, a little too tight.
As his mouth had discovered my passive resistance, he moved his right hand to the back of my head and his left gently around my waist, pulling me closer now. The closer I became, the more my lips would resist. I wasn't trying to pull away, but wouldn't respond back, I couldn't. Jacob could see this now, he started to rub the back of neck trying to get a response out of me; I just couldn't.
That's when Jacob stopped, his right hand slowly releasing my neck, his left unwrapping around my waist, and his lips fading away. I didn't need to look at Jacob to see the hurt, I could feel it, and his pain was my pain. Something in me broke free just then and I couldn't hold it back. My hands reacted before I could realize it, my left arm wrapping around his waist, my right hand grabbing the back of his head, pulling him closer to me now. Just as I could feel his pain, I could feel his joy now too. Jacob responded almost instantly; he wrapped his arms around me and began kissing me back, his warm lips gentle. I couldn't tell how long we were kissing, it felt like forever, and I didn't want it to stop.
That's when it hit me; I'd been wrong all this time, I'd been lying to myself. Jacob was more than just my friend, he was more than someone I could rely on to make me feel better. I knew I needed him more than I needed most people, but I had no idea just how much until now. I've never felt happier before, after being so abnormal for so long, it's like a breath of air after being underwater for hours. The hole in my chest is completely gone now, I didn't think it were possible, but Jacob cured everything. He is everything to me, I was in love with him. I'd loved him all this time, but I was too afraid to get it through my thick skull. I was too afraid of betrayal, too afraid of him. I wonder if I'll ever hear his voice again, not that it mattered anymore.
Suddenly I felt Jacob stiffen up, he jerked away from me and released his arms. I opened my eyes, ready to pull him back, but he was shaking again. The expression on his face was half angry and half horrified.
He jetted for the front door, grabbing the handle with a little too much force. I stumbled after him with my arm out in front of me.
"No!" I shouted. It was a reflex.
Jacob stopped then, releasing the handle. He looked at me distraught, still standing right next to the door. He took a quick glance at the door handle and back at me, like he was deciding something. I didn't want him to leave, now more than ever. Did he have to leave now? If he did leave, would I go with him? What about Alice?
Jacob turned his entire body in my direction. He slowly walked toward me, wrapped his one arm around my waist, and positioned himself in front of me, as if trying to protect me.
Protect me from what, was Victoria nearby? Did she get past Embry and Jared? Was she attracted her by Alice? That's when it hit me, Alice, of course. Alice came through the back door and walked gracefully into the kitchen, resting her arms onto the kitchen table. Jacob backed us away toward the sink, he was shaking again and his teeth were clenched. Alice's face did not look approving either.
"I see you two get along well," Alice judged, staring directly at Jacob.
I nodded gently, a little embarrassed. Jacob pulled me closer to him.
"Alice this is Jacob. Jacob, Alice," I said, blushing now.
Jacob stabbed me a disgusted look and growled. Alice rolled her eyes at me.
"Bella, I think it's time I left."
Jacob gave a brief sigh of relief, while still holding me tight.
"No!" I shouted. Jacob stabbed another look at me, a look of betrayal.
"Really though, Bella, I think it's time I left. If Edward finds out I'm here…" Alice explained, looking a bit nervous, "He can get really angry sometimes."
I flinched a little and Jacob growled again.
"Do you have to go now? Just a few more weeks, please?" I begged.
"I'm really sorry Bella, but it has to be tonight," She said, looking truly sorry.
"Tonight. Good," Jacob muttered under his breath. Alice seemed to hear that and glared at him again. She looked back at me, suddenly cheerful.
"How about we spend the entire day doing whatever you want together. We could drive around, catch a movie, go to the mall, I'll buy you whatever you want. We won't separate for a second," She said, smiling wide.
I nodded sadly. "Yeah, that sounds good."
"You don't look very happy."
"No, I am. Really."
Alice pouted. "It's the best I can do. All the clothes you want, on me."
Jacob's shaking began to increase, his teeth clenched, and his eyes shut tight. I embraced him, it was almost instinctual.
"Jake, please. Calm," I whispered.
"Right…calm," He whispered back, his body going stiff now with only his hands shaking.
"We can go as soon as you put the dog out," Alice said critically. Jacob began to shake again.
"Calm," I reminded. His shaking only slowed down this time. He released me and started to back away.
"Don't worry, leech. I was just going," He hissed. He looked at me, his expression broken, "Bye, Bella."
Jacob began to walk towards the front door. I wrapped me arms around him, trying to get him to stop. "No, please. Stay. Please," I begged.
Jacob turned to look at me. "Bella, I have to go. I was only supposed to come here and get information. I have to report back."
My face fell, of course he was right. He was a werewolf, she was a vampire, and Jacob had responsibilities. But I didn't want to let him go, it was either go with Jacob and abandon Alice or go with Alice and leave Jacob betrayed. Stupid conflict. Why couldn't they just get along?
"Can't you just tell Embry and Jared, and then come back?" I insisted.
Jacob made a disgusted sound. "I don't think so, Bella. Besides, we've been neglecting treaty lines enough as it is."
Alice sighed. "Well, I'm the only Cullen here. So I guess if I say it's okay for now, than there shouldn't be a problem. For now." She grumbled.
My face lit up giving Alice a look of thanks. Jacob looked at her half angry, half confused, and back at me.
"You seriously want me around her? Remember what I said earlier, Bella."
I hadn't forgotten. This could end badly, very badly. By the end of the day, both of them might end up… I couldn't even think about it. I'm not going to let my selfishness hurt them both. I had to choose.
Before I could say a thing, Jacob wiped a tear from my eye. I was crying, I hadn't realized. He stood there for a few seconds, once again distraught. He then grabbed my arms and freed himself from my embrace. He stomped out the front, slamming the door behind him. My legs started to shake.
Alice made her way next to me and put her arm around my shoulder. "Sorry." She mouthed the word.
I rested my cheek on her head trying to fight back the tears that were welling up. This was for the best, right? I can manage to be away from Jacob for today, couldn't I? Just then, Alice groaned and released her arm from around me, folding them over her chest.
"Great. Just wonderful," She said with heavy sarcasm.
"What? What's wrong?" I asked, my voice breaking.
"The dog's tagging along."
I gasped, my eyes widened at the thought. I then heard a shout coming from outside, followed by angry and irritated voices. Were they arguing? My eyes were locked on the front door now. After a minute, I heard the sound of an engine starting up, followed by the squeal of the tires driving off, all a little too quickly. My eyes were still locked onto the door, my heart was racing.
The door slowly opened and Jacob came through. He looked at me and smiled, I smiled back wiping the tears that had escaped my efforts. Jacob glared at Alice, eyes very distrustful. Alice stared back at him with the same eyes.
"You better watch yourself," Jacob warned.
"Oh please, I should be saying that to you." Alice turned toward me, changing her expression to cheerful again. "So, where to first?"
"Really, you should decide. I'm sure you have better ideas than me."
"Oh, but I'm doing this for you."
"I think your last day here," I grimaced at the words, "Should be exactly what you want."
"Hmm…" Alice looked far off in concentration. Jacob put his arm around me again and backed away from Alice.
"It's okay," I whispered to him.
"Don't wanna take any chances," He whispered back through his teeth.
Alice groaned loudly, suddenly very irritated. She glared at Jacob.
"This would be so much easier if I could see our plans and go by those." She put extra emphasis on 'see'.
Jacob raised one eyebrow in confusion, but his face quickly lightened into one of understanding. He laughed once mockingly. "What? The future to blurry for you?"
Alice's mouth fell open for a split second, she gave me an accusing look. I let my head fall, looking up at her with apologetic eyes.
Alice sighed. "Yes, because you're around."
Jacob's eyes widened in surprise. "You can't see the future when I'm around?" That's great!"
Alice let a growl escape her teeth. I changed the subject. "Why don't we go see a movie first? Sound like a plan?"
"Sure," Alice agreed, "As long as we take Carlisle's car."
Alice headed out the front door leaving it wide open. Jacob hesitated to move, I tried nudging him with my elbow, no effect. Alice came back into view, seeing her clearly through the open door, she gave Jacob a mocking smile.
"Scared?" She called back.
Jacob rolled his eyes, but it seemed to do the trick. Jacob kept his arm securely around me and headed out the door slowly. Alice had already gotten in the driver's seat and the car door to the backseats was already open. Alice must have guessed that we'd want to sit together. Jacob walked up to the car at the same pace and hesitantly got in with me alongside him. I closed the door.
"Ugh, it stinks," Jacob groaned silently.
Alice turned the keys in the ignition and drove off immediately. Alice drove fast, almost as fast as Edward did; to think that I was frightened by the speed of the motorcycles. Jacob was very restless the whole way. He fidgeted, shifting his body from side to side and re-adjusted his arm around me. This was ridiculous, the point of this was to have fun with Alice, have fun while she's still here. How are we suppose to have fun when she and Jacob will be at each other's throats the whole time, it defeats the purpose. Maybe this is what I deserve, for being so selfish.
We were almost there, took no time at all, Jacob groaned and started staring at the car floor. He then, to my surprise, started to laugh.
"I cannot believe I'm doing this," Jacob laughed at himself, "Not only am I tagging along for your girl time, but with a bloodsucker as well. I've really lost it."
I hung my head down, slightly turning to look at his face. I was about to apologize, but Alice caught me off guard.
"We're here!" Alice sang, "So, what're we going to see?"
My head snapped up at her voice, that was a good question. I suggested the movies, but had no idea what to go see. I just wanted to get out of the house before Alice and Jake killed each other. My past experiences going to the movies were not entirely pleasant ones, I hoped that this wouldn't be the worst.
Alice waited for my answer; I grimaced at having to be the one to decide. Jacob raised his head and sighed.
"I hear Tomorrow and Forever's pretty popular," He suggested, looking directly at me, ignoring Alice.
I nodded my head, eager to agree, I was up for anything. Then it came back to me, I remember I'd turned down this movie before, back when Mike asked me. It was back when I was too broken to handle a romance. How would I feel now? I truly believe that the hole in my chest is somewhat gone at least, plus I have Jacob and Alice, for the moment. Maybe it won't be so bad.
"Bella," Alice looked at me doubtfully, "Is that what you want?"
Alice got out and opened the door on my side. She reached out and took my hand, a warm smile lit up her face. Jacob, with his arm still securely around my waist, pulled me back. Alice grabbed my hand again and yanked, while Jacob firmly resisted. It was a brief match of tug-of-war with me as the rope, both competitors glaring each other down.
"Jake!" I snapped at him.
Jacob grimaced but gave up, releasing me hesitantly. Alice yanked me from my seat, causing me to stumble, but she caught me before I could cause any damage to myself.
"Sorry," She apologized, "Forgot how fragile you were."
"You sound like Edward."
Jacob got out on his side and made his way next to me, Alice to my right and Jacob to my left. We headed toward the theater; Alice bought two tickets for herself and me, leaving Jacob to pay for his own.
There weren't that many people in the theater, I'm assuming everyone had seen the movie already. It had been out for a while, this might be it's last week in theaters. We sat down, Alice to my right and Jacob to my left like before. I kept my eyes on them both cautiously; they wouldn't fight in here would they?
Alice suddenly started giggling, I looked up at the screen and a man was coming up with every excuse in the book to keep from getting fired. I was so occupied with watching Alice and Jake that I hadn't realized that the movie started already, for who knows how long.
I actually began to watch now; the man that got fired meets a rich woman who enjoys working with children. They fall in love and the man begins to help out with the children too, while still jobless. The man is secretly involved in some shady business involving loans and dangerous favors. The woman finds out what he's up to and the man confesses all that he's done, which in turn gets the woman involved.
So far the movie was pretty good; I wasn't feeling any pain from what I've seen up until now. Unfortunately, I'd spoken too soon. The man felt terrible for burdening the woman in his problems and decides to leave her.
I winced at the words "I don't want you to come." The man had spoken the same words as his. My head sank, I didn't want to look up at the screen anymore, I felt tense.
Jacob saw this; he put his arm around my shoulder and leaned his head against mine. I rested my head on his shoulder and shifted closer to him. Normally, something like this would set me off. I could see myself breaking into tears, screaming, and running out of the theater after witnessing this. But Jacob made everything so much better, he was my own personal sun again, but something else radiated from him besides the usual happiness and comfort. Love.
I let out a deep sigh of relief and looked up at the screen. Apparently I had missed a lot; the man was already begging the woman to take him back, saying that they can work something out as long as they're together. The woman all too happily takes him back and they agree to start a new life together somewhere far away.
The credits started rolling and the lights came back on. Alice eagerly got up and started toward the exit, Jacob and I followed.
Back in the car, Alice started the engine immediately but left it in park for a few minutes.
"Mmm, cliché ending," Alice said, looking thoughtful. Jacob nodded his head, looking past Alice.
"Yeah," Jacob looked at me now, "It's better than that other movie you took me to, though."
He laughed and I joined in; comparing it to Tomorrow and Forever just makes Crosshairs seem even more ridiculous. Alice looked back at me, a wide smile across her face.
"Shopping now?" Alice asked, delighted. I rolled my eyes.
"Of course, Alice."
"I'll make sure you have the most beautiful clothes in the store."
"Don't overdo it."
Alice pouted; she started driving straight for the mall which wasn't far from the movie theater at all. It took only two minutes to get there.
I told her not to overdo it, but in the end she ignored me. We went to every clothing store the mall had to offer, buying at least three things from each one. Every so often Alice would find something that she wanted for herself and get me the same one in my size. Jacob was enjoying the ordeal even less than I was; Alice was making him carry all the clothes. I could tell Jake was trying very hard not to lose his temper, I had to tell Alice to ease up a little. Alice was having the time of her life however, at least she was happy.
By the time we were done, it was dark out. The bright headlights of cars were passing by, avoiding people as they walked out of the mall and varies other stores around us.
"Well, I'd better get you home," Alice reminded.
I nodded slowly, knowing what will happen afterwards. The drive home felt longer, either Alice wasn't driving as fast as before or I was just trying to cling onto this moment for as long as I could.
Charlie wasn't there when we walked in. He must still be at the Clearwater's, probably doing whatever he can to help out. I felt bad that I wasn't there too, felt even worse that I was keeping Jacob away. I sat down on the sofa and Jacob joined me. Alice was arranging the clothes she bought in one pile and the clothes for me in another on the kitchen table. In a flash, she darted upstairs and my new clothes disappeared. The next second she was back, looking as cheerful as before.
"Hope you don't mind, but I'm sure you'll find your new beautiful clothes in perfect order," Alice said confidently.
Alice started to stare off into the distance, her expression lost. Jacob shifted himself closer to me in a protective position. Alice let out a gasp, her cheerful expression didn't return.
"It's time for me to go."
I couldn't speak, I just let my head fall.
"I'm sorry Bella, but it's time. I can't stay any longer."
I just nodded. I was starting to feel the pain come back to me.
"Come on." Alice grabbed my hand and lifted me off the sofa. She led me outside to her car, Jacob followed quickly.
She let go of my hand to give me a hug. Her hard cold skin felt strangely soft and gentle when her arms wrapped around me. The wind blew her sweet clean scent toward me, I'd remember it for a while. I embraced her back, trying very hard to fight back tears. It seemed to last for a lifetime.
"Bye Bella," She said quietly in my ear, "I promise I'll be back."
She nodded, "Promise."
9. Another Day
We continued down the highway at what I assumed was reckless speed. I remember when this rush of speed use to scare me, but now I'm so use to going fast that I couldn't tell anymore. Whether it was motorcycles or riding werewolves, speed seemed to be a new standard for me; I never got sick. We turned down a much less open road and Alice began driving slower, maybe normal speed. When I saw the worn out concrete of the road, familiar mossy trees that barely moved in the wind, and the modest houses passing us by, I knew that we were close to home. In just minutes, Alice started up the driveway and stopped behind my rusty truck that was parked close to the house.
"On second thought, Bella, maybe I should head back now," Alice said, groaning to herself.
I couldn't hide the disappointment on my face. "Wait, I thought you wanted to see Charlie."
"Maybe some other time."
"Why not now?"
She grimaced. "I can smell a werewolf inside. It's probably your dog…oh, I meant Jacob. Sorry."
My eyes widened. "Jacob's in there?"
"Yeah, that's why I should leave. I know, it sucks."
I really wanted, no, needed to see Jacob tonight. It'd been so long since I spent a day without Jacob by my side, and although it was wonderful being with the Cullens after an even longer period of time, my body ached not having him with me. I thought he'd be at home and I was planning to go right after Alice left. I wasn't sure how Charlie would feel about me coming home late at night only to leave right back out, but I guessed now I didn't have to worry about it.
"It's okay, I understand," I said, trying to sound believable.
She smiled sympathetically and reached over to give me a hug. I hugged her back, squeezing tight and unable to let go so easily. Her hard cold skin felt strangely soft and gentle, so much like how we hugged when she promised to come back. Now she was back, they were back, and this felt like just the confirmation I needed.
"Bye, Bella. See you next week," she whispered, letting go of me to place her hands back on the steering wheel.
I sighed. "Yeah, next week."
As I got out of the car and walked up to the front door, I turned to look back at Alice pulling away. I waved my last goodbye and she waved back before zooming down the road at a speed I'd be used to. Once she was out of clear view, I opened the door quickly and immediately searched Jacob out as I walked in. It didn't take long at all, he was sitting on our couch in front of the TV that wasn't on and jumped up at my arrival. His expression was unexpected, cautious, but I ignored it because I couldn't be happier to see him.
"Jake!" I sang, throwing myself at him and squeezed tight.
It took him a few seconds to wrap his arms around me, but once he did, he pulled me so close it almost felt like I was a part of him. It felt so wonderful holding him like this, it felt right, it felt perfect. I'd forgotten just how warm and soft Jacob was, after hugging vampires, the difference seemed more obvious.
"Bella," he whispered.
"I missed you."
He chuckled softly. "It's only been a few hours."
"Mmm," I agreed, though it felt a lot longer.
"But yeah," he sighed, "I missed you too."
I sighed back contently and rested my head onto his chest. He laughed once that sounded slightly like one of relief and kissed the top of my head. As soon as he did that though, he made a slightly disgusted noise and cough. I ignored that and tried to pull us to the couch, while still holding him tight, but I couldn't make him budge considering how massive he was. I looked up to see him staring toward the kitchen.
"Bella, you're home," I heard Charlie call out.
I looked in the same direction Jacob was and Charlie walked up to us. Jacob let me go and I did the same, as we both adjusted ourselves to face him. His expression was tense and full of worry.
"Hey, dad," I greeted, trying to sound cheerful.
"Honey, Jacob told me you were over the Cullens' today," Charlie announced.
My eyes widened in surprise. I looked at Jacob annoyed and he nodded back unconcerned.
"Is everything okay? Are you okay?"
I groaned. "Of course, dad." It bothered me that he'd think things wouldn't be okay.
"What about," he hesitated to say the name, "Edward. Is everything okay with him?"
I sighed. "Edward wasn't there. So, I'm not sure."
Jacob turned toward me with surprise clear on his face. "He wasn't?"
"No," I said disappointed.
"Oh." He was still clearly surprised, but it was a pleasant kind now. He briefly laughed in relief again and I glared at him for it, which he simply shrugged off.
"And dad," I began, trying not to sound too irritated, "Edward's name isn't taboo anymore. I think we can say it without anyone getting hurt, thank you."
"Okay, sorry," Charlie said, raising his hands in surrender. I obviously sounded more irritated than I wanted.
Though I wanted to believe my words to be true, that his name would bring no pain anymore, I wasn't sure if I was being true to myself. When he was gone, I couldn't think of the name without feeling pain, but Jacob took that pain away. Now that he's back, but still gone at the same time, his name brought something else. Was it pain? Disappointment? Betrayal? Whatever it was, it wasn't nearly as bad as what I use to feel; not even close. I wanted to believe I could handle that.
"Um, dad, there's actually something I wanted to ask you," I announced.
"Alright, what is it?"
"Well," I began to say, but a big yawn that came out of nowhere interrupted me, "Sorry. See, the last time I was with the Cullens, you know, on my birthday-."
He nodded in confirmation.
"-Carlisle and Esme gave me plane tickets as a present. They're tickets to Florida, to visit mom."
"Yeah. They expire soon, so I was thinking about using them before they go to waste. I was thinking about maybe going this Friday."
"That was really nice of them. What time were you planning on going?"
"As early as possible."
"And you're all caught up in your school work?"
"Yes. No missing assignments here."
"Well that sounds great. You haven't seen your mother in a while, it'd be nice for you to visit."
"There's something else."
I took Jacob's hand, squeezing it firmly, and edged myself close to his side. Jacob smiled at me and leaned a bit closer. It was natural reaction for him, so I'm sure he didn't know what I was about to ask.
"They gave me tickets for two people."
It took Charlie a few seconds to respond. "Okay. So, you wanted to take someone else?"
Surprise crossed Jacob's face as he now understood. "You want to take me?"
I smiled at him. "Yes."
"Take Jacob?" Charlie asked with a louder voice than before.
"Is that a problem?"
He grimaced. "Well…I mean…"
"You mean what?"
"Bella, I want to speak with you in the kitchen, please."
I folded my arms and stared at him critically while he stared back with a stern look that told me I should do what he said. Jacob nudged me in the shoulder, encouraging me to go. I sighed and followed Charlie to the corner of the kitchen by the fridge, furthest away from Jacob.
"What's your problem?" I asked in an irritated tone.
"Are you sure you don't want to take someone else?" Charlie whispered.
"Why? Do you want me to?"
"I'd prefer it."
"Well, I prefer Jacob."
"What about Alice? You guys just started hanging out again, right? You could take her or maybe Angela?"
"Exactly what are you afraid of, dad? What, you don't trust us or something? That's a first."
"I trust you, but," he whispered and looked over me to where Jacob was, "Jacob is still a boy."
"Jacob and I are together all the time."
"Yeah, when you're close to home and Billy is there to supervise."
"Oh, so I guess mom isn't responsible enough to handle us? Great to know, wait until I tell her."
"No!" he shouted through his whisper and looked over to check Jacob again.
"We're just going to visit mom, not run off to Las Vegas." A groan was his only response; I knew I was winning this argument. "You know you're overreacting."
He was silent for a moment and looked like he was thinking of something. Finally, he patted my shoulder and looked over to where Jacob was again.
"Jacob, it's your turn. I need to talk to you," he called to him and focused back on me, "Go on, Bells. I need to speak to him alone."
I looked at him with disapproval. "What for?"
"Just be glad that I'm doing this, you hear?"
"Be nice," I groaned and walked back into the living room, passing Jake along the way.
I sat down onto the couch and leaned toward the kitchen, trying to hear what they were saying. I couldn't make anything out; everything they said got mixed together. I laid my head onto the couch's arm rest and yawned loudly. It'd just occurred to me that I was actually really tired. Everything started to blur up and my eyelids refused to stay open no matter how hard I tried. I didn't want to go to sleep yet; I still needed to tell Jake about what Alice said. Though, the fact that I couldn't put together what she said in my mind without it sounding like complete nonsense told me I was far too sleepy for that now. I gave in and let myself slip into unconsciousness.
As I slept, I dreamt a pleasant dream for the first time in a week. Jacob was carrying me through that beautiful forest we went through before in a past dream. This time, we weren't alone though; the rest of the pack was following us further behind. They were all smiling; even Leah was cheerful, which was a bizarre sight to see. Jacob was smiling that happy smile that I love so much as he continued trudging through the forest where multi-colored leaves began to pile up. It was so wonderful having a dream like this after so many terrifying nights. I truly believed this was the sign, the sign that I'd definitely be his and he would be mine. Always.
The dream ended abruptly as I woke up in my bed. There was a faint light outside through the closed curtains and I looked at the time in surprise. It was already morning and I guess I'd be running late for school, if I planned on going. I jumped out of bed and quickly changed out of the clothes I had on yesterday. I went into the bathroom, washed up, brushed my teeth, but didn't bother with my hair too much; I just wanted to hurry and see Jake. I went back into my room and put on the first pair of jeans I saw and a zip up sweatshirt. I grabbed my school bag just so Charlie doesn't get suspicious if he saw it still here. As I headed towards the stairs, I noticed that Charlie's door was still closed. I could hear faint snoring coming from the room; apparently I wasn't the only one who overslept. I knocked on his door three times to wake him up and darted downstairs out the door.
I went up to my truck and started digging through my bag for the keys. Before I could find them though, I heard a low bark come from the trees to my left. I walked over to the sound, heading a little ways into the forest, and there stood Jacob on all fours with a pair of shorts tied to his right leg, smiling his wolf grin. I ran up and embraced him tight, letting my hands stroke through the shaggy russet fur on his neck.
"You remembered I wanted to ditch today?" I asked, as I continued to ruffle his fur even more.
He coughed once and looked at me like the answer was obvious. I chuckled in response as he bent down for me to hop on his back. I got on and wrapped my arms around his neck securely. I guess I wouldn't be taking my truck, but I could tell Charlie that Jacob drove me to school if he ever asked. Jacob sprinted swiftly through the trees and I held on tight. This was the type of speed I was used to now, the way the trees blurred past us, the way the wind whipped my hair back, the exhilaration, it was all very welcome to me; comfortable even. It didn't take long for us to reach our destination. We were heading towards First Beach, and I could see it in the distance, but Jacob suddenly stopped in an area of the forest filled with leaves. He let me off and started looking around the area, prompting me to look too. I could see why he stopped here now, this place was beautiful. There were bright green leaves scattered all around in a circular pattern leaving a wide open space in the middle. The trees were also light green with moss and the subtle sunlight beamed through them onto the open circle of leaves, like something from a fairy tale telling you 'This is the spot.' This place reminded me so much of that wonderful forest in my dreams, only this was real. It wasn't as colorful, but still seemed just as magical. Jacob looked at me with wide eyes and I didn't need a translator to tell me what he said.
Pretty cool, huh?
I nodded. "It's beautiful."
He coughed a chuckle and walked into the middle of the circle of leaves. He stood very still, directly where the sunlight shined, and his fur seemed to glimmer. He then raised his head up to look at the trees and sky above. He looked like some sort of glorious canine hero; like he just defeated his enemies and was about to howl victoriously at the sun. Of course, it didn't take me long to realize that it was all intentional. I just rolled my eyes and walked over to join him as he laughed again. He sat down resting his head on his paws and I snuggled up next to him. I started stroking the side of Jacob's neck without even realizing, but I didn't stop. He made a low rumbling noise of contentment and it made me smile. There was something strangely addictive about petting werewolves. The way their fur felt between my fingers was really nice and so warm. I rested my head on his side and my eyelids started to feel heavy. Was I still tired? I thought I got enough sleep; though Jacob's fur was so warm and comfy that I guess that could put me to sleep. He'd make the perfect bed.
"Wake me up in fifteen minutes," I mumbled.
Jake looked at me and rolled his eyes while making a low grumble. I half smiled and closed my eyes. I drifted off pretty quickly, but was all too quickly awakened when I felt something hot and wet smear the side of my face from chin to hairline. I instantly recoiled, blinking wildly, and wiped away the slobber with my sleeve.
"Ugh! Jake, you know I hate it when you do that," I complained.
The last time Jacob had licked me was about a month ago and it was in front of the whole pack. I remember everyone coughing their wolf laugh and my face was bright red.
Jacob laughed, as if to remind me of that, and licked me again in the same spot.
"Knock it off," I yelled through a laugh that I couldn't control.
He licked me yet again in the same spot, but this time I got up on my feet and glared down at him.
"Okay, you know what…" I began to say as I started looking on the ground for what I needed.
I spotted a thick stick lying a little bit away from Jake's tail, picked it up, and threw it into the distance as hard as I could.
"Fetch!" I shouted, pointing at where I threw the stick.
Jake looked up at me like I was crazy, but I just stared back at him and continued to point in the direction of the stick. We stared at each other for about fifteen seconds before Jacob finally let out a huff, got to his feet, and dashed in the direction that I threw the stick. Before ten more seconds passed, Jacob came running back; this time on two feet, stick in hand, and wearing the shorts he had tied to his leg. He grinned as he came back to my side and handed me the stick.
"There's your stick. Happy?" he chuckled.
"Very," I responded.
"Was that pretty fast? I fetched and phased in record time."
"You sure did."
"Fetch." He shook his head and sighed. "That was your big comeback?"
"You went for it, didn't you?"
"Only to show you how fast I am," he said proudly.
Jacob sat back down on the leaves and I sat next to him. He wrapped one arm around my shoulder comfortably and I rested my head on his.
"So, which place do you like better? This?" He extended his arm out and around the area. "Or the beach?"
It took me a second to answer. "I can't decide. This place is beautiful but…"
"Yeah, the beach has more history to it, and who says the beach isn't beautiful too?"
"We could switch every now and then. Sometimes the beach and sometimes the fairytale forest."
I giggled. "Sure, sure."
We sat there comfortably for a minute, but then I remembered last night and what Alice told me. There was a bit to go over.
"Um, Jake, I wanted to tell you something…and ask you something too. I'm not sure where to start," I explained.
He gave me his full attention and waited for me to begin. I decided to start off easy.
"Uh, what did Charlie say to you last night?"
"Oh, that. Well, he told me I could go with you," he said with his expression turning awkward, "He also said that he'd come after me with his shotgun if I took advantage of you…y'know…in bed."
"Oh," I said, letting out an irritated groan, "He's seriously overreacting. We're just going to go visit Renee."
"True, but guys can get some crazy ideas though."
"Do you have any crazy ideas?"
"No, of course not."
"Oh," I muttered in slight disappointment, which kind of took me by surprise, "Wait, I never asked you if you even wanted to go."
"Of course I'll go. I already talked to Sam and he's fine with it. He plans on having Seth take my place while I'm gone, which Seth is thrilled with by the way."
"That's great. Good for Seth."
"Yep. He really wants to show everyone what he can do so that Sam will let him be with us more often."
I nodded. "It'll be great having you with me."
"Well, I am loads of fun." He smiled and I returned it.
There was still more I needed to tell him, but I decided to stay with easier subjects for now.
"So, what did you do yesterday? Did I miss anything good?" I asked, keeping my voice even.
His pleasant expression disappeared. He obviously didn't like being reminded of me being gone yesterday. "You didn't miss much."
"Tell me anything, I don't care if it's boring."
"I just hung out at Emily's place with everyone else. I took your truck with me by the way." I looked at him questioningly, causing him to elaborate. "I thought that if I left your truck at your house and Charlie saw it but no you, he'd wonder where you were. If it wasn't there, then he'd probably assume you were with me."
"That reminds me, how come you have keys to my truck?"
He chuckled. "We always had a spare key to that truck before Charlie bought it for you. When you and I started hanging out, I remembered that we had that spare key, so I kept it with me in case of some kind of emergency."
"It came in handy this time, but it kind of makes me think how you could easily steal my truck if you wanted."
He looked at me insulted. "Do you really think I would do that?"
"No! Of course not."
"If you want me to give you the spare key, you can have it."
"No, keep it."
"Positive. So, tell me what you did at Emily's."
"Like I said, nothing much happened. Well, I guess one thing is sort of worth mentioning."
"Well, Claire was with everyone too and Quil was of course looking after her. Paul got excited about something stupid and bumped into Claire. She got knocked into a wall and started to cry. Now, how mad have you ever seen Quil?"
I gulped. "The time that we all ganged up on him for imprinting is the angriest I've seen him."
"Yeah, well this was worse."
"Quil managed to keep his form long enough to push Paul out the door and maul him outside."
"Oh my god! Is Paul okay?"
He chuckled. "Relax, Bella, everyone's fine. Quil and Paul just had a little wolf fight. It was a pretty interesting brawl too, but Sam had to ruin the fun and break it up. Quil realized that it was just an accident and apologized to Paul. It's all good now."
"Thank goodness. So, is that all that happened?"
"Pretty much. Afterwards, I drove your truck to your place and waited for you with Charlie."
"Alright, there's something that I need to tell you, something big." I smiled wide and put my hands out in front of him in a 'brace yourself' gesture. "You're going to be thrilled."
He looked at me confused. "Okay."
I took a deep breath before beginning. "Yesterday, when I was over the Cullens, Alice told me something very interesting."
His face hardened as I brought the Cullens up, but I tried to ignore it and remain cheerful.
"You know how Alice can't see you guys? You know, she can't predict the future when werewolves are involved."
"Yeah," he muttered.
"Well, she can't see me anymore either."
"What does that mean?"
"It means that because I'm always around you, Alice can't see me anymore. Even when I'm not around you, she still couldn't see my future."
He still looked confused and irritated. "Again, what does that mean?"
"Jake," I sighed and wrapped my arms around him, "If there was a chance that you and I wouldn't be together in the future, Alice would at least be able to see me just a little bit. But she can't see me at all, no matter how far she looks."
It took Jacob a minute to respond, but when he did, his eyes popped open in realization.
"Wait, let me get this straight. The psychic can't see your future, because you're always around us. And because she can't see you, not even a little, that means you'll still be with us in the future?"
I nodded. "Yes. She said that it's almost like I am a wolf. She obviously hasn't experienced anything like this before. Some outcomes are more solid than others."
"So, as long as the bloodsucker can't see you, we'll be together?"
I let the 'bloodsucker' bit slide. "Yes."
"Does that mean I won't imprint?" he gasped in astonishment.
"I'm sure of it!"
He half smiled for a split second, but his expression hardened. "Are you sure we can trust what she says?"
"Alice isn't lying. I could tell that it really bugged her."
It was silent for a minute. Jacob just looked off in the distance, deep in thought, as the leaves on the ground started to float through the breeze. I leaned back a bit as a various amount of emotions took turns spreading across his face in random order. Astonishment, disbelief, confusion, fear, excitement; I just watched and wondered which one he'd stick with. Finally, Jacob smiled and looked at me with the most sincerely loving eyes in the world. He held my face in both his hands and slowly brought his lips to mine.
Our lips moved together in perfect synchronization as his tongue grazed the top of mine and I returned the motion, encouraging him to continue. He moved his hands down to my waist and brought me in even closer as he lay on his back in the leaves with me on top. I could feel his heat full force with our bodies pressed together and it felt good. It wasn't exactly cold outside, but that didn't matter, it was his heat that I wanted to feel and it engulfed me. There wasn't anything that I could feel that wasn't Jacob. We rolled over a bit and we were both laying on our sides now. I let my left hand grab onto his massive shoulders as my other reached for the back of his head to stroke his hair and run my fingers through. He seemed to like that, as his one hand started stroking my hair in the same motion and his other went underneath my sweatshirt, tracing his fingers across my back.
It'd been a while since I felt this happy with Jacob. It'd been a while since I felt so at ease. The fear that we both felt was gone, we didn't have anything to worry about anymore. We could continue on, knowing that nothing could split us apart. The fact made this moment all the more wonderful. I wanted to hold him like this, kiss him, stroke his hair, and never let him go, knowing that I could.
I felt him begin to pull away, so I kissed him back eagerly, not letting him escape. We kissed for a few more minutes until he finally pulled back and sat back up. I couldn't stop him this time. I looked at him disappointed, but he just smiled. I smiled back for a moment until his expression turned more serious.
"There's something I wanted to ask you too, Bella," he announced.
"Ask away," I said.
He exhaled deeply. "Well, yesterday when you are with the Cullens, what exactly did you do there?"
"Oh…well, nothing too interesting." I tried to make it sound like no big deal. I still wanted this to be about us.
"Tell me anyway, like I told you."
"Fine." I paused to go over what happened in my head. "First, I just told them what I'd been up to since I was gone. I told them about you and the pack and stuff like that."
"You didn't tell them too much did you?" he asked, sounding slightly worried.
"I didn't tell them anything too personal, like the whole imprinting stuff."
"Okay, what did you tell them?"
"Just that you guys run patrols and practice sparring. Jasper also asked how many of you guys there are and who was the leader. Did I tell them too much?"
He thought about it for a moment and shook his head. "No, that shouldn't be too bad."
"Good," I said in relief.
"Well, they gave me some food and Alice painted my nails." I held out my hands to show him the ocean-like design on my nails.
"Good god!" he shouted in exaggerated horror.
"This might surprise you, but I actually don't think they're that bad."
"Did they put some sort of spell on you too?"
"Be nice," I scolded, slapping his arm, "The color reminds me of the beach, that's why."
"Hm, I guess," he said indifferently.
"Anyway, that's what I did."
He looked away for a second and made an awkward face before speaking. "And you said Edward wasn't there?"
I shook my head slowly. "No, he wasn't."
Jake nodded to himself like that was good news and it irritated me.
"Why is it so important that Edward wasn't there?" I asked.
He grimaced. "Why do you think?"
"Jacob Black, you know better than to be jealous, don't you?"
He shrugged. "I don't know. Do I?"
"That's completely ridiculous!"
"But, Bella, he-"
"Jake, is there some sort of rule that says I can't be friends with an ex?" I asked, cutting him off.
"S'not a rule, but it's still regularly followed," he muttered under his breath.
"Come on, don't tell me I'm the only girlfriend you've had."
He stiffened up, it took a few seconds for him to speak. "Really, you are."
"Well, pretty much."
I turned my head to the side. "Pretty much? What do you mean?"
He grimaced, but I continued to stare at him, wanting an answer. It just hit me that this news might not be so great to hear.
"Well," he began to say, pausing for a second, "I've had a few crushes at school, but they didn't last long. I've gone on a few group dates, but nothing ever happened. There's never been anything big."
"Have any of these girls ever liked you?"
"Um, one has."
"Who?" I asked immediately.
He flinched back at my eagerness. "Bella, it's nothing."
"Okay, but, who is she? Do you remember her name?" I was hoping he wouldn't.
"Her name is Jackie. She had a big crush on me, but it's just a friendship thing for me."
"Do you still see her sometimes?"
"Does she...still have a crush on you?"
He sighed. "Yes."
I grimaced as my eyes slowly wavered from his face to the leaf covered ground. He put one arm around my shoulders and rubbed it comfortingly.
"But like I said, it's only a friendship for me. I've never seen anyone in the same way I see you, Bella. Now, you're all I see, you're all I'll ever see."
I looked up to see him smiling at me sincerely, I couldn't help but smile back. It was that one particular smile that always brightened my day.
"So, can you understand how I might feel now, only to a much bigger degree?" he asked.
"Sure," I admitted, I didn't want to seem like a hypocrite, "But if you wanted to go visit Jackie, I wouldn't stop you."
He sighed. "That's different?"
"Because," he paused, "I know what he can do to you. I've seen it, Charlie's seen it, your friends, the pack, everyone. You don't know how hard it is to see you like that. I don't want him to hurt you again."
I nearly said that he was already hurting me now, but I had to brush that thought away. I had to be stronger than I was, I didn't want Edward's absence to affect me as bad as it did before. I wanted to say his name without feeling any kind of sadness. I wanted to believe that I'd be okay even if I never saw Edward again, though I hoped everyday that I would.
"That won't happen again, Jake. I've grown up since then," I said proudly.
"Yeah, you have. But you haven't grown completely apart from them."
"I guess so; they still feel like a second family to me." I laughed to myself in humor. "I remember when I actually wanted to become a vampire once."
Suddenly, Jacob jumped to his feet in an instant, knocking me over in the process. His whole body was shaking violently and his arms were vibrating at his side with hands balled into fists. His eyes were shut tight and his teeth clenched together. I immediately got to my feet and wrapped my arms tightly around his waist as his body shook mine.
"Jake, no! Please, calm, calm!" I pleaded.
His shaking slowly became less vicious once I had my arms around him, but he was still clearly angry.
"Jake, it's not like that anymore! I swear, that was then!"
He began to relax his fingers and unclench his teeth, but kept his eyes closed as he got himself under control. I couldn't believe I said that, I should've known better.
Once he stopped shaking, he embraced me securely, almost as if trying to protect me from something. His eyes were still closed and the expression on his face was hard to look at. It was like he was preparing for something painful to happen.
"Really, Jake, I don't want that anymore." I paused to check his face, which remained the same. "If anything, I'd actually like to be a werewolf like you."
His eyes opened up and his expression began to shift into one of thought. Finally, he chuckled to himself and relief washed over me.
"A werewolf, huh? That'd be interesting," he said quietly.
I nodded. "Do you think I'd make a good one?"
He pursed his lips thoughtfully. "You? With a loooooooooot of training, then maybe, just maybe."
I rolled my eyes. "Gee, thanks so much."
He smiled and looked at me with those same loving eyes as before, but then his expression saddened.
"I'm really sorry about the way I overreacted," he apologized sincerely.
I shook my head. "No, I shouldn't have brought it up in the first place. It's nothing."
"I don't like getting mad in front of you."
"Well, sometimes I kind of like it when you get angry. It's…kind of hot."
He looked at me in disbelief for a moment, but quickly burst into laughter that echoed through the trees.
"Well, in that case, I'll have to get pissed off more often."
"Not too often."
We stared into each other's eyes for a good minute. That werewolf comment actually got me thinking. I'm always surrounded by people so much stronger than me. First vampires and now werewolves; I'd always just be the weak human. But there really wasn't anything I could do about that. Could I make the best of what I had?
"What?" Jacob asked suddenly. The conflict in my head must have been reflected on my face too.
"Hypothetically, if I could become a werewolf, would that make you happy?"
He thought about it for a moment. "Probably not."
"Why not?" That actually surprised me.
"I've told you before how I miss being human. I miss how everything was so easy, so simple. I miss the freedom to do and be what I want, without fear of betraying anyone. I miss…feeling under control."
I rubbed his arm in comfort. "So you still don't like this? Being a werewolf, I mean?"
"It is pretty cool sometimes. It's nice feeling more powerful and the speed of running is incredible. It's also great knowing that you can save lives, it builds confidence."
I nodded, knowing that it would definitely build my confidence if I was actually useful.
"But still," he continued, "I wouldn't want what you already have taken away from you."
"But it's not much. I'm not much."
"Don't say that!" he shouted.
I flinched a little, but not away from him. He stared into my eyes in a stern manner and I stared back a little stunned.
"Bella, you're perfect just the way you are and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Don't think that you have to change what you are because you think someone else is better and you think you need to be on their level. There's nothing wrong with you."
I didn't know what to say. I began to lose control of my breathing as he stared at me, but now with eyes of adoration and a smile to go with it.
"You're Bella, you're my Bella, and you're special the way you are."
I didn't think that such simple words would have this big an effect on me, but it did as tears began to well up in my eyes. It seemed to take him off guard when I saw the surprise on his face, but I just buried my face into his bare chest and squeezed him tight as the tears overflowed.
"Bella," he whispered, a little concerned.
"No one's ever said that to me," I whimpered.
He chuckled quietly. "Well, it's about time someone did."
I tried gaining control of my voice as I sniffed and exhaled unevenly.
"I love you."
"Oh, come on, Bella," he muttered, rubbing my back comfortingly, "No need to cry."
My tears weren't done spilling over, so I kept my face at his chest while trying to control my sobbing.
"Was my speech really that moving?" he asked, "I actually thought it was kind of corny."
I shook my head. It was just the thing I needed to hear, even if it was simple.
"I still meant every word of it, Bella. You don't need to change for anyone, when you're already perfect."
I lifted my face up to look at him and his smile seemed to make everything brighten. He wiped a tear from my eye with his thumb and kissed my forehead softly.
"Love you too, Bells," he whispered.
"Awwww, isn't that just adorable?" a voice that came from behind us yelled out.
Jacob immediately turned his head to look in the direction of the voice and frowned irritated. I sighed heavily when I saw the two shirtless goofs making kissing noises by the trees. We both turned to face them.
"Ugh! What are you guys doing here? Shouldn't you be at school?" Jacob asked, annoyed.
"We should be asking you that," Embry countered.
"Yeah, it's like that last time. Are you guys ditching again?" Quil asked.
"Obviously," Jacob said.
"Then count us in."
"No, not again."
"Come on, Jake. We're bored," Embry complained.
"Go hang out with Paul or Jared or something."
"You guys are more fun to hang with. What happened to The Three Musketeers, Jake?"
"Now it's The Three Musketeers and One Chick," Quil chuckled, "By the way, Bella, are we going to have to start calling you 'vampire girl' again?"
I grimaced as I thought about how the others might think of me associating with vampires. Jacob glanced at me to see my expression and glared at Quil and Embry in warning.
Quil raised his hands in surrender. "Jeez, okay, I'm sorry. Jake, sometimes I think you're turning into Paul."
"Yeah right," Jacob said with sarcasm.
"So I guess we'll leave then," Embry said, "We can see you two love birds want to be alone. I wanted to challenge Jake to a race, but it's okay. Sorry to bother you guys."
Jacob's eyes beamed when he heard the word 'race'. Quil and Embry started to walk away slowly and Jacob got jittery the further they went. It didn't take a genius to tell Jake really wanted to race for whatever reason. Though I wanted to be alone with him, I knew he'd be thinking of the race that got away somewhere in his mind.
I sighed. "You can race them if you want."
"Really?" he asked, excited.
He grinned wide. "Thanks, Bells."
He sighed when he heard the disappointment in my tone and grabbed my hand. "You're coming too. The day's not over yet, not by a long shot."
I half smiled as he started running to catch up to them and dragging me with him. I wasn't sure why he wanted a race so badly, but I was about to find out.
Author Notes: This was actually going to be a bigger chapter, but i realized it'd been a month since I last updated and didn't want to keep people waiting too long. Because of this, I'm sure the next chapter will come sooner, especially since this semester of college is finished.
Also, the character of Jackie is a creation of a fellow fan fiction writer who goes by the name JJ. She wrote the story of New Moon from Jacob's POV and is currently working on Eclipse as well as her own Jacob+Bella love story. Check her stories out and you can meet the real Jackie.
Chapter 10 is coming soon. Please leave your feedback.
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