Have you ever wondered why Edward was so devoted to Bella? Why he was so crushed when he had to leave her? Why he was reluctant to get close to her? Why he was so protective of her? Why he was so depressed and resentful of vampire life? Why the Cullens were so quick to vote "yes" on her transformation? It's because he didn't tell Bella the whole story. It's because Bella wasn't the first "singer" he encountered. It's because Bella wasn't the first human he fell in love with.
It couldn't be happening again. Not again. He had already been through so much in his too-long life to have this girl move here – and be right here. He knew it wasn't her fault; she couldn't help herself. But he couldn't suppress a black-eyed glare in her direction, which she returned with a timid turn of the head.
He gripped the easily breakable desk to restrain himself. One slip, and it would be all over. He knew that for a fact. Her beautiful chocolate brown eyes, which he had seen for only a second, were comparable to green eyes he'd been lost in so long ago. The scent was too familiar, also.
Memories tried to surge up, memories he'd rather leave in the past. He had been doing that successfully for over fifty years now – had it really been that long? Time went so fast.
Through sheer willpower, he managed to push them back into the deep recesses of his mind, at least for now. He could think about her later, on the trip. He'd already made up his mind to get away from her. He couldn't bear to stay here, with this new girl. This bringer of bittersweet memories.
Did Biology always take this long? A fraction of a second before the bell rang, he was out of his seat, moving a bit too quickly for the human crowd around him. He sensed she was watching, but, like during lunch, he couldn't decipher her thoughts. And maybe that was a good thing. He didn't want to hear what this personal demon had to say.
Thirty minutes later, after dropping his worried brothers and sisters off at home and switching cars with his adoptive father, he sped off to nowhere in particular. Maybe Alaska. Maybe not. He couldn't imagine being near other people right now.
And there the memories were, slapping him in the face. Reminding him of a time when he was happy. Reminding him of how he ruined everything.
If anyone makes banners, I kind of need one. I'd be very grateful. Anyways, leave comments telling me what you think. Happy reading. :)
“Shut up!” Edward yelled. He couldn't take it. It was too much. He was grateful beyond words that he couldn't see Ellie's smiling, trusting face flashing behind his lids anymore.
Instead, he focused on the present. He was getting close to the Denalis' house now. He considered turning back; he knew Tanya would be hanging over him until he left, and he wasn't sure he could take that. But it would be silly not to press on. The Denalis might even be helpful in working through his emotions.
It was a struggle not to think about Ellie. It was so tempting to spend more time with her. Even knowing how everything worked out. Even knowing that if he kept remembering, it would eventually lead up to the ending.
After a few hours of internal debate, he pulled into the Denalis' driveway. Their house was an enlarged version of a log cabin, and combined with the foot or so of snow, it set the perfect scene. Mountains in the background, blue sky, a thin forest surrounding a rustic cabin.
Tanya was out the door before he could move. Of course.
“Edward! What a lovely surprise!” she said as she bear hugged him.
“Hello, Tanya.” Kate, Irina, Carmen, and Eleazar hung back, but were all happy to see him as well. They just weren't so flamboyant about it.
“So what brings you up here? No troubles, I hope.”
He tried not to grimace. “The house looks wonderful.”
She caught on quickly. “Thank you. We've been busy with renovations the past month. The living room is still in progress, but we're done with the kitchen and the bedrooms...”
She proceeded to show him every square foot of the house. His expression worried her; there was something terribly wrong. It was something in Forks. He wouldn't have come up otherwise. Did he...no, he couldn't have! All the Cullens would have left, not just him. His eyes were still golden anyways. She was ashamed she'd even had the thought.
“You can stay here. If you want. If you're going to be staying here,” she said as she showed him one of their many spare rooms.
“Anytime, Edward. You know that.”
She left him alone then. From downstairs: “He needs to be left alone.”
“What's going on?” said Carmen.
“Don't even ask him,” Tanya whispered.
“He seemed upset,” Kate chimed in.
“You think? Why else would he come here – alone?”
“I was just saying.”
He tuned them out and opened the large picture window. The wind blowing in was frigid, yet it felt warm against his skin. Inside, he felt chilled to the bone. It was just one more reminder of how he could never have been right for Ellie.
Her name overwhelmed him with more memories, and instead of pushing them away, he let them take him into the past. Back to a time when his worries, looking back, were nothing more than silly fears. Back to a time when he could look in her eyes and know that everything would be okay. He closed his eyes and smiled as the story of his life played once again.
I know it's short, and it's not really anything new. But I haven't had very much time to write - even now, I'm trying to tune out about twenty screaming kids running right outside my room - and the little time I have had hasn't been good concentrating time. So I had to prolong the next chapter a bit, which should be pretty long. I'm trying to post one every other day, but in a week, it should go back to every day. So, you can expect chapter fourteen on Wednesday. Thanks for reading. :)