Have you ever wondered why Edward was so devoted to Bella? Why he was so crushed when he had to leave her? Why he was reluctant to get close to her? Why he was so protective of her? Why he was so depressed and resentful of vampire life? Why the Cullens were so quick to vote "yes" on her transformation? It's because he didn't tell Bella the whole story. It's because Bella wasn't the first "singer" he encountered. It's because Bella wasn't the first human he fell in love with.
It couldn't be happening again. Not again. He had already been through so much in his too-long life to have this girl move here – and be right here. He knew it wasn't her fault; she couldn't help herself. But he couldn't suppress a black-eyed glare in her direction, which she returned with a timid turn of the head.
He gripped the easily breakable desk to restrain himself. One slip, and it would be all over. He knew that for a fact. Her beautiful chocolate brown eyes, which he had seen for only a second, were comparable to green eyes he'd been lost in so long ago. The scent was too familiar, also.
Memories tried to surge up, memories he'd rather leave in the past. He had been doing that successfully for over fifty years now – had it really been that long? Time went so fast.
Through sheer willpower, he managed to push them back into the deep recesses of his mind, at least for now. He could think about her later, on the trip. He'd already made up his mind to get away from her. He couldn't bear to stay here, with this new girl. This bringer of bittersweet memories.
Did Biology always take this long? A fraction of a second before the bell rang, he was out of his seat, moving a bit too quickly for the human crowd around him. He sensed she was watching, but, like during lunch, he couldn't decipher her thoughts. And maybe that was a good thing. He didn't want to hear what this personal demon had to say.
Thirty minutes later, after dropping his worried brothers and sisters off at home and switching cars with his adoptive father, he sped off to nowhere in particular. Maybe Alaska. Maybe not. He couldn't imagine being near other people right now.
And there the memories were, slapping him in the face. Reminding him of a time when he was happy. Reminding him of how he ruined everything.
If anyone makes banners, I kind of need one. I'd be very grateful. Anyways, leave comments telling me what you think. Happy reading. :)
Despite Ellie's enthrallment with his skin, Edward shrunk back into the shadows. Her skin didn't sparkle, she thought. How unfair was that? Wait...why did he move? He was so pretty.
He laughed. Pretty?
“What's funny?” she said. He didn't answer. He knew he'd have to tell her everything now. It would be good, in a sense. No more secrets. However she reacted, everything would be on the table.
She stood up and walked closer. He wasn't worried; her thoughts were full of love. He had taken her in, given her a place to stay though they barely knew each other. He seemed to have some sort of aversion to her, yet he had given her his room and was teaching her how to play the piano. He seemed to accept her, couldn't she do the same?
He smiled at this, and she couldn't help but smile back. It was contagious. She was right in front of him now, and she took his hand. His cold, pale hand which, just seconds ago, was alight with a rainbow of colors.
She tried not to think of all the oddities she'd noticed, but it was nearly impossible. The beauty, the gold eyes, the pale, apparently sparkly skin, the fact that none of them ate, the fact that he wasn't able to get too close to her, the very first night...it all added up to one possibility.
“Come with me?” Edward asked. It was a rhetorical question. If he asked her, she would drive off a cliff with him.
He led her out the door and into the forest. In the small patch of yard between the house and the forest, she couldn't stop staring at him. But all too soon, they were in the trees where the sun couldn't penetrate the thick layer of leaves.
After a few minutes, he grew uncharacteristically impatient. Against all rational thought, he couldn't wait to tell her. They stopped for a moment and he turned to her. “You don't get motion sickness, do you?” She shook her head.
“Not squeamish about speed?” She thought of the drive with Alice and almost hesitated. But this was Edward. With him, she was fearless. Another shake.
“Then you'd better hold on tight.” He grinned and reached for her waist.
“What are...oh!” She was on his back now. She knew he wouldn't let her slip, but she locked her arms around his neck. What was he doing? He did seem strong, but could he walk carrying an extra hundred and ten pounds? Speed...was he going to run?
Oh, yes. He was going to run.
She couldn't close her eyes. Even if the pummeling wind would let her, she wouldn't have wanted to. It was just so...there really was no word to describe it. The trees flew by her at unbelievable speeds, the leaves and trunks blurring into undecipherable streaks of color. Yet it didn't feel like he was running. It didn't even feel like he was walking. It was so smooth that he could have been standing still.
The only times she'd had piggyback rides were when her older brother or father had hoisted her on their backs and paraded around the yard. More than once she'd been dropped. It had been long ago, but she clearly remembered the bounciness. She'd had to get down because, almost always, she'd nearly strangled her brother. It wasn't her fault; her hold had been around a person's neck, since her little arms wouldn't stretch any farther. The constant up and down motions had apparently made her elbows bang into his throat.
Not so with Edward. Even if the ride had been bouncy, she doubted he would have noticed the chokehold. She didn't know much about him, but she got the feeling that he was more durable than that.
He was enjoying it as much as she was. Maybe more. Now he got to share his happiness with someone else. He just ran for a few minutes, not quite sure where to stop. Where would the perfect place be? What would be the perfect background for the most important conversation of his life?
There was a meadow, nothing special, really. It was just an opening in the trees that he'd come across before. But now, in late spring, blooming wildflowers overwhelmed the grass so all you could see were shades of pink, yellow, purple, and white. This was as good a place as any.
Suddenly, they were stopped. Ellie wished they could keep running, but then she saw his neck. And his arms. And his face, turned halfway back. She unlocked her hands and was about to fall, but he caught her. He smiled, and all she could do was stare. It had to be a dream. He couldn't be here, with her.
A laugh. “Believe me, you're not dreaming.”
“Huh?” Had she said that out loud?
“No.” Wait...what was going on? “It's all part of why I brought you out here.”
“And why is that?”
“I think you deserve to know.”
“Everything. In fact, you already do know.”
She only had to think about it for a second or two. “No...”
“You're very smart, I have to give you that.”
“But...that can't be right!”
“Oh, it is.”
Ellie was sidetracked for a minute. “How do you know?”
“I know lots of things about you.”
“I can read minds.” It was out. Very blunt, but after seeing what she had seen, was this that much of a shock?
“Oh,” was all she said, but inside, she was panicking. He knew what she was thinking? That meant that every thought she'd had about him, every doubt about their humanity, every dream about him hadn't been private. How embarrassing!
“Don't worry, I won't tell anyone,” he said, barely holding back a grin.
She looked at him in desperation, but at the sight of his face, her fears dissolved. So what if he knew what she was thinking? “So. You're very special then, aren't you?”
“Not really. Mind reading's nothing compared to what Alice can do.”
“What can Alice do?” Her voice was monotonous, shocked as she was by the thought of Alice, sweet, short little Alice being a vampire.
“She can see the future.”
“Mind reader...psychic...anything else?”
“Jasper can control your mood.”
He laughed again. “You're taking this very easily.”
“Guess I am.” Then she thought of something. “If you are...vampires...” The word fell uncertainly from her tongue. None of the Cullens seemed to fit the normal vampire protocol. “...Then how can Carlisle be a doctor?”
“Years of practice.”
They were silent again, just looking into each other's eyes. His golden, hers emerald. Honestly, she didn't care. It wasn't like they had changed any since she'd ended up here.
He bit his lip and cast his eyes downward. “I don't know if I should...”
“What if I hurt you?”
He seemed to lean forward, but the movement was so minute she wasn't sure she saw it. “No, I won't.” He looked back at her. Why did she have to be so pretty? It was so tempting...
“What do you want to do, Edward?”
After a minute of deliberation, “I just want to try something. Tell me if...if I hurt you.”
He leaned forward and pressed his hand against her cheek. She could taste his cold, delicious breath, he was so close. A second of hesitation, then pure bliss. His freezing cold, smooth lips against hers. In reality, it was tad bit too hard, but she didn't notice. If anything, she wanted to be closer. In the heat of the moment, nothing registered in Ellie's brain but Edward. Edward's hand. Edward's hair. Edward's face. Edward's chest. Edward's lips.
When he broke the kiss, it was only because she was human. Even if she didn't want to, she had to breathe. He had to push her back; when he pulled away, she tried to follow.
How strong he was! She was fighting as hard as she could to go back to him, and it didn't seem to faze him one bit.
How could she have gone more than a week without that? She supposed it was addictive; you didn't know what you were missing until you've had a dose. But still. She was happy beyond words that she got to share her first kiss with a god.
“That was my first time, too. Believe me when I say that I'm ecstatic I got to share it with you,” he said, grinning. He was smiling a lot today, and that made him that much more beautiful.
She was still trying to catch her breath, but at that moment it didn't matter to either of them. No one really knows how long they were out there. Minutes, hours...it still wasn't enough for either of them.
The sun sank lower and lower until it set in the most magical sunset – for them, at least – in history. Shades of red, pink, and orange glowed from the half of the sun still visible. But it wasn't really the sky that grabbed their attention, nor the fading rays on Edward's skin (though, for Ellie, it was part of it). It was the fact that they were together, really together, and that evening was something neither of them would ever forget.
Yes, he's yelling at himself. His memories, to be more specific. As for the ending, well...no one knows yet. Not even me. I expect in a few chapters we'll find out together. :)
I was thinking the same thing. I just have to figure out the details...