When I'm Gone
I stood in the rain. Staring at the house. Tears spilled down my eyes. I could hear them. The cries and pain that erupted from my mother. My fathers aggressive voice saying he doesn't care anymore. I didn't know why I stayed and listen. Why is he doing this to us? To her.
I can see the future now. Daddy gone. He was always so obsessed with his music. His stupid music. Pain ran through me feverishly. Eating me alive. Filling it's hunger.
Slowly I turned and ran. I ran and ran not wanting to feel the pain, not wanting to see the truth but still it's being shoved in front of my face.
When I'm gone just carry on don't morn, rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice just know that I'm looking down on you smiling and I didn't feel a thing so baby don't feel no pain just smile back.
Eminem; When Your Gone
:) I love this song.
Good Start :)
This song always makes me cry, cuz I can relate. Up to when I turn 13 my dad always travel to other states of the country to work and every friday until I turn 8 I stood by the window watching for him to come back and spend the weekend with us. It was a big dissapointment when it was dark and my mom order me to go to bed and he never showed up.
But then I guess the teenage hormones kick in at 13 when he was finally at home everyday and he tried to yell at me for something or try to bond I will think only(because if I talk bad, it was BAD) 'Now you want to play the role of the father'
Now I know it was harsh to think that that he had no other choice so he could provide for us. But it was the truth and now I know he has always care (and will always care) for us even if he was far away and not able to spend at least 3 days with us.
Sorry, hearing this song and your story (brings back alot) I felt like sharing this with you guys, maybe it will give you something for your story. Maybe, maybe not.
I can't wait to see what would you do with this story.
You know you can also use "Gone" by Kelly Clarkson.
When I'm Gone
Chapter One: Find me...
I could feel the hot sun beating on my back as I sat on the warm sandy ground. I felt a shadow over cast me and the sun was gone in a instant. Slowly I turned and saw him smiling. His face beautiful and perfectly shaped. His white teeth flashed at me and his green eyes melting.
“Hey, daddy!” I said.
He didn't say anything. Just continued smiling. My lips turned into a frown after seconds of him not answering. Something was wrong with this picture. I could not see the sun now. Clouds blocked it. In seconds the scene changes from a happy scene to gloomy. Pain rose in my chest. I did not understand it but it didn't mater now. My eyes were focused on his figure as he moved away. I got up and ran to him but I seemed to being slow. I yelled and yelled but he wouldn't come back. As soon as I got even close to him he disappeared and the pain was unbearable now. I dropped and felt nothing.
* * *
I gasped as I escaped the dream. My alarm ringed unstoppable. I looked around realizing that I was in my room. I sighed and turned of the alarm.
“Mia get up or your going to be late!” I heard our house keeper yell.
I slipped out of my sheets grabbing my towel and heading to the bathroom to shower. My mind did not leave the dream the whole time. My dad. Liam Andrews. Musician and failed father. I shook my head and concentrated on the burning water against my body. I began to relax but as the water began to get cold I turned the water of and wrapped myself in a towel.
I looked at myself in the mirror looking at my imperfection groaning and then sighing. A new pimples have been arriving on my cheeks. I would have to put extra concealer today. I didn't ponder on the problem long enough. Quickly I got dressed in tights and a baggy but still stylish top. Completing the look with black boots my Aunt Hellen had bought me last Christmas. I barely wore them.
I ran down the stairs and spotted my mother in the kitchen. “I'm leaving.” I told her.
“Hey, wait a second. Aren't you going to eat something first?”
I stopped looking at her I shook my head and continued for the door. Before I slammed the door I heard a desperate cry of my mother saying my name.
The summer air felt fresh and warm. It was the first day of school. It wasn't a a short walk but it didn't seem right for my mother to drive me. Ever since my dad left us we barely talk. I look too much like him. I can see in her eyes that I remind her of him and that it's hurts her so much to look at me..
I shake my head and try to forget about him. It's been harder lately. My mom just had a miscarriage. She had a boyfriend. Keyword, had. To tell the truth I was glad. It's hard enough to take care of her when she's thinking of dad. But with a baby in the picture with us. It would be more difficult.
I have seen my father every since he left. When they got the divorce he got legal custody of me. I only see him on weekends. I have to go or he'll complain to the judge that mom isn't compromising. I hate every moment of it.
My thoughts over took me so much I did not notice the footsteps that followed me. “Hey.” The person said.
I gasped and turned around. I saw a perfectly shaped face caramel color curly brown hair, brown eyes. He was dressed properly and I could smell the cologne that he wore.
“What?” He asked.
I tolled my eyes at him. I really didn't care who he was and why he was talking to me. I just wanted to get this day out of the way and start another one like this again. “What do you want?”
He shrugged. “Your pretty.”
I snorted. “Are you one of these players I hear of. If you are I want not business with you.”
He shook his head. “I was just about to tell you, you are going the wrong way. If you are looking for J. Clarke Richardson it's that way, you missed the intersection.”
I look around and seeing he was right. I was on a totally different street. I passed him walking the way I came and mumbled a grateful, “Thanks.”
I could see a smile curving up his lips. “What's you name?”
“Mia Andrews.” I uttered.
“I'm Daniel. Nice to meet you. But I have a feeling that we've met before.”
I pursed my lips. How stupid was he? “Yes, we have. I'm the one who whipped a basketball at your face.”
“Oh.” Wall all he replied back. “Hmm...”
“That was last year.”
He was now walking beside me and I quickly peaked at him from the corner of my eyes. Daniel answered. “I know that.”
We reached the school fifteen minutes before the bell rang. “What me to show you your classes?” He asked.
I eyes him suspiciously “I doubt you know all the classroom in the school seeing that we are both freshmen.
Daniel wagged his figure in my face. “Don't ever distrust my abilities.” He then grabbed my arm and pulled me forward.
The whole say through my classes I could not keep my thoughts of Daniel. He was hot. I've gotta say. It didn't help that we spent the whole say together. His showing me the entire school. When I asked how he knew he told me that his mother was the school nurse here. I immediately felt sorry for him.
* * *
When I got home my mother wasn't there. I dropped onto my bed and turned my iPod and listened to “When I'm Gone” by “Eminem”.
Have you ever loved someone so much you giving and arm for? Not the expression, no, literally give an arm for? When you know they're your heart and you know you were their armour and you would destroy anyone who will try to harm her. But what happens when karma, turns right around and bites you? And everything you stand for, turns on you to spite you?
Eminem, When I'm Gone
love it but confused? what does her father have to do with her crush with daniel? yeah she may fear all men are going to do what her dad did but is not that bad he stills sees her but i cant judge because this is only the first chapter... WELL, WELL VANESSA U ARE REALY GOOD TO MAKE ME THIS INTERESTED ON THE STORY, I MUST SAY AT FIRST I WAS CONFUSED AND I HAVENT HEARD THE SONG THAT INSPIRED U TO MAKE THIS STORY.. i really dont like the intro so stop it before I could hear the rest of the song... BUT I LIKE IT. IT MAKE ME WONDER WHAT HAPPEN IN THE PAST AND THE THOUGHTS OF EACH CHARACTER.
update me ASAP love it
When I'm Gone
Chapter Two: Carry On...
I've been in school for a week now. I still hang around with Daniel every now and then. I've gotten to know him better. He's not that bad. But I still feel that there is something more he's hiding in his smiles and his words. Today more than ever.
“Hey.” I said watching him walk towards me. It was second period and I was at my locker trading my books.
He smiled at me a dazzling smile. “Hey, yourself.”
Daniel leaned against the locker beside mine. His arm flexed and I swore I saw muscle under the thick sweater. “So, coming to the winter dance next Friday?”
My eyebrows scrunched up questioning him. “Are you asking me to go with you?”
He grinned. “Maybe.”
“Well in that case no.” I walked away towards my next class.
Daniel chased me. “What's the matter? Can't dance?”
I snorted. “No. It's more like won't dance.”
He chuckled. “Come on Mia. Please go with me?”
I stopped turning to him. I thought for a minute. I've been dances before. I have danced with guys at them too. I didn't know what made me hesitate; when it came to Daniel something about him made my heart skip and my breathing quicken. I pressed my lips together.
I sighed giving up. “Fine.”
“I'll pick you up at my house. Well actually my brother and I will pick you up.” Before I could say anything else he was already ten meters away from me.
I sighed again. What have I done? I'm falling for a boy I barely know and feeling good that I am. I shook my head and continued on to my next class trying to forget Daniel for now.
* * *
I met up with Daniel after school. He promised me to help me study for an upcoming test.
“Do you want to go to the library?” I asked.
He shook his head. “How about Tim Horton's”
I smiled and nodded. We talked while we walked there. Mostly about school and teachers we didn't like. Or kids that were stuck up and full of themselves. Yeah I know, how mean are we?
He picked a table for us and ordered. I spread my books across the table and began flipping through my English text book. His hand touched mine and I looked up confused.
“Wait Mia.” He said in a soft manly voice. “It seems like we've been friends a long time. One week is long right?”
I laughed and nodded.
He suppressed a chuckle himself. “So why don't I know anything about you?”
I frowned. “Isn't it better this way without bringing up our past?”
Daniel shook his head his brown curls shaking with him. “I'm not embarrassed about my past. More scared though.”
My lips pressed together and sighed. “Where are you from, Daniel?”
He reached for my hands again but I pulled them away and slipped them under the table. He sighed too and said, “My name is Daniel Anthony Danvers. I grew up in Scarborough, Toronto. My parents adopted me when I was eight. I have two sisters, Andrea and Vannessa and a brother, Nathan.”
“You know Mia I've always felt like an outsider in that house hold. 'Cause my bio-father got shot and died. After that my bio-mother wanted nothing to do with me. So I was sent into child protective services. I was moved from one family to another for four years. Never really fit anywhere until my mother wanted to have another child. But she couldn't because of some complications so they decided to adopt. That's how I came to their family...” He paused and took a breath.
“ It felt weird being in a family that actually wanted me. That loved me. Other than Nathan bossing me around I loved being there. Still do. My father is a musician. My mother a writer. I love writing so people always think that I am their real son. I belonged somewhere finally.”
His eyes finally met mine. “Have you every felt like you didn't belong, Mia?” Daniel's voice grew unbearably sweet and a little bit understanding.
I nodded. “Yeah. My name is Mia Bethany Andrews. I was a mistake. I wasn't suppose to be born. My bio-father left when I was five. He said my mother and I interfered with his music. He used to and probably still tours the world. I never complained when he left. I kept it inside not wanting to hurt my mother more than she's already hurt. I–-am her caretaker now. She's so bliss all the time I wonder if she's really on this planet mentally as much as she is physically.”
“I see him on weekends since he doesn't want custody of me. I don't know why he does want to see me every weekend. I see hatred in his eyes every time I come over. It feels wrong. I mean he is my father, right? I can't make sense of it and I've stopped trying. So it doesn't matter. I'm not the best looking person in the world but at least I survive better than most.”
Daniel didn't say anything for a while. His lips parted and the words that he spoke shocked me. “You're beautiful, Mia. Ever since you hit me with that damn ball you caught my eye. I've heard you sing.” His eyes flew to his long thin fingers. “I see your website's status all the time wondering where are you going to sing next. I watch you all the time.”
“Your a stalker.” I said.
He looked up surprised. “I...”
I cut him off and got up. “I have to go. My mom's going to be home soon.”
The waiter decided to come now. She handed Daniel his donuts and coffee and me my hot chocolate and blueberry muffin. I thanked him for the food and gathered my stuff then left.
When I reached home I could think nothing but of Daniel. He made me feel comfortable when I was around him. I feel butterflies in my stomach when he brushed against me or smiled. It felt wrong that I felt right around him. I pondered on him a little bit longer until my mom came home. She knocked on my door and I let her in.
“Your father want you to come over tomorrow after school.” She whispered.
I was bemused. “Why.”
She shrugged. “How am I suppose to know? Anyways, I can't drop you so you'll have to take the go train there.”
I nodded and she left. Quickly I reached for my side table drawer grabbing a notebook and a pen. Slowly I wrote lyrics that had just come to me. How can I feel this much emotion?
You say you care for me.
You say you've always loved me.
But the hurting in my heart can not compare.
I can not love you back.
'Cause I'm stuck in despair.
Take me where you go.
Because I can learn to love.
And you is the one I want.
You is the one I can't have.
Oh my gosh. I just finished reading “Sing Me to Sleep” and it really got to me. “Angela Morrison” is such a good writer. I'm still stuck on it that's why I wrote this. That book made me cry. My heart aches for Beth. Why does love have to go the wrong way? Anyways, I love writing stuff like this because I get too close to the characters and I feel more than I should and that's why I keep writing for you guys. I mean writing is everything to me and I never want to stop.
I hope you liked this chapter. More coming. Tragic