I Though I Lost Her (BREAKING DAWN)
Rewritten in Edward’s POV by EdWard Lover4Eva Version 2.0
Edward’s Point of View
“This is it. I’ve lost her,” I thought as Bella’s heart pounded to a stop.
“Edward,” Jacob said from somewhere beside me. I couldn’t see. My eyes were filmed over with things that they have not been filled with in over 100 years, tears. Tears for me for not keeping my promise to my love, tears for my daughter for not ever being able to know her wonderful mother, and tears for Bella, my lost love. Jacob looked me in the eyes, turned around and hugged me as only a brother would. He then looked me in the eyes with blazing determination, “We WILL still save her.”
He then began to press on her chest to keep her blood circulating while I wiped my eyes and grabbed the steel syringe that I hoped and prayed to God worked.
“Please Lord, if you hear me the way I am, and there is still purpose for me in this life, please bring my true love back to me.”
Jacob moved his hand over a little so I could reach her heart, and I plunged the needle into her chest. I sobbed again, odd tears still left from my crying spell, as I pushed the plunger down to inject my venom straight into the main place it needed to be. This was my last hope.
I pulled back as Jacob continued to circulate her blood for her. My whole body shook with fear and pain. I closed my eyes and listened to her forced heart beats. A few minutes, and 300 beats later, I felt a strong, firm hand on my shoulder. I looked up to see Jacob smiling down at me as I heard Bella’s heart beat stronger, alone, with no help.
I didn’t care what Jacob was at this point, so I just grabbed him and hugged him and thanked him. He laughed started down the stairs saying he needed a break; he was too young for all this stress.
I waved him on and walked to Bella’s bedside. I wiped the blood-soiled hair back from her face and kissed her on the cheek.
“You’ll be ok, my love,” I whispered. I then did something that I had not done I a very long time, I knelt by Bella’s bed, and prayed thanks to the Lord for the safe return of my love.
A few hours later, I heard Carlisle’s light footsteps coming towards the room where my beloved lay. I went to sit beside her and hold her hand before he entered.
“Edward, your….daughter wants you,” he said to me softly.
I sighed. “Will you bring her to me?”
“Of course, son.”
I waited a fraction of a second before he returned with this little bundle of blankets. I held my arms out for it, and, to my surprise, it held its arms out to me in return. I took her, Renesmee, into my arms, and I felt happy for the first time since Bella’s almost run-in with the maker I’ll never have to face. Carlisle then left the room to tend to the worry about me downstairs. Renesmee’s eyes bored into mine full of question and wonder. Her dark brown eyes were a carbon copy of her mother’s. I kissed the tip of her nose and she surprised me again, by giggling. I smiled at her, and she tried her best to comfort me by laying her head on my chest and thinking thoughts of happy things. She then yawned and I decided to sing her to sleep. I hummed the melody her mother fell asleep to every night as I held her in my arms, and Renesmee’s body seemed to have the same reaction, for she fell asleep in less than 5 minutes. I stood up from her mother’s bedside, and carried my child, OUR child, to the couch in the corner of the room and laid her down.
I crossed the room to her mother again and lifted her hand and kissed it.
“Thank you for our beautiful daughter, Isabella.”
I could have sworn that if I didn’t know any better and didn’t know that Bella couldn’t possibly move without screaming, I saw a small smile light up Bella’s face. I laid my head on the edge of her pillow like I had when I waited by her side to recover from James’s attack years ago. I subconsciously stroked her bloody, tear-streaked face. I listened to her rapid heart-beat, knowing a change was happening in what she was. But, for the first time, I was afraid to face her when she came to. Would she hate me for putting her through this torturous pain? I surely doubted so. It’s what she had always wanted from me. Now, it seemed silly, but she was finally getting her wish.
I sat like that with Bella until the sun came up and Renesmee stirred on the couch. She looked around, helplessly, searching for my familiar face. I walked to her, and she let out a tiny sigh. My, wasn’t she growing so fast! She relaxed as I picked her up and carried her to where I had been sitting with her mother. That’s the first time I heard my daughter speak.
“D—d—daddy, w—what’s wr—wr—ong with M—m—momma?”
I answered as simply as I could without scaring her, “She’s just tired, sweetheart.”
“You look tired too, Daddy,” she whispered to me.
“I am honey, I am.”
Renesmee drifted back to sleep. Jacob came up the stairs then, and decided to tell me something I really didn’t want to know.
“Edward, I am so sorry! Please! Don’t kill me when I tell you this, but….I have Imprinted on your daughter.”
I shook my head and sighed, “I’m not sure why, but I’m not angry with you. You’ve proven yourself to me by helping me save my wife. If this is how you want to be repaid, so be it,” he relaxed a little, “BUT, YOU are telling Bella.’
“Why does that suddenly scare me?” He seemed to ask himself and me simultaneously.
I laughed. “Go on, Jake, we’ll all talk….later.”
He stalked out of the room partially laughing. I was still holding my sleeping child, when I heard something I wasn’t expecting until tomorrow. Bella’s heart rate picked up speed. I sped down the stairs, handed my daughter off to Rosalie, and grabbed Carlisle and Alice and ran up the stairs with them following closely behind me.
“It’s almost over now, Edward,” Carlisle reassured me.
“Let me get her dressed,” Alice chirped. I agreed and Carlisle stood in the hall as I waited. Alice then opened the door and I saw Bella. She was beautiful. Not that she was not beautiful before, but, seeing her now, it was like I was blind of her beauty. Her skin matched mine, her arms and face sparkles as mine did. And, I began to cry again. Carlisle began to countdown then.
“30…29…28…27…” It was the longest, most heart wrenching 30 seconds of my existence as I watched my Bella thrash against the operating table in pain. Finally, her heart stopped, the thrashing stopped, and all of us froze, waiting.
Bella, my one and only Bella, sat up and looked around, frightened and lonely. I stepped slowly towards her and gently touched the small of her back over the deep blue cocktail dress my crazy sister put her in. Bella’s reaction frightened me. She turned on me and hissed and crouched into an attack position, scanning the room. Then she looked around, registering the scene around her. I reached my hand out to her.
“It’s okay. I’m here. No one will hurt you. No one wants to.”
She looked into my eyes then. Her eyes were a deep crimson. They scared me just a little, but then she slowly walked towards me. I grabbed her outstretched hand and forgot everything else around me. She wrapped her arms around me and hugged me, TIGHTLY!
“Um…Carefully, Bella. Ow.”
“Sorry,” she mouthed.
I wanted so badly to hear her voice. She tucked both arms behind her back. I pulled her close to me. She melted into my arms. I leaned in and kissed her, I mean REALLY, TRULY kissed her. Her breathing sped as I held her face in my hard, but no longer cold, hands. She sighed when our lips met, and I felt this smoldering heat in the pit of my stomach. I didn’t hold any feeling I held for her back, not this time, not this kiss. It was different, so different from past kisses when I had to be careful pressing my lips to hers. Now, her lips parted against mine, and mine against hers and I sucked her bottom lip into my mouth and bit down on it as the heat grew and blossomed into a yearning. She pressed herself tighter against me, and I became hyperaware of where her skin touched mine. I heard deep-toned laughter in the background, and I finally notice that my family was standing in the room with us.
Emmett was rolling on the floor with his hands covering his mouth, trying to smother his laughter. The rest of my family subtlety chuckled as well. Bella stepped away from me, embarrassed. I stepped with her and place my left arm around her beautifully formed curves. The thought of her body’s shape brought memories to me of the first night we were husband and wife. I played those memories in my head for a moment so I would not lose them, ever.
“Wow, I need to get control of myself,” I noted as I realized I had pulled Bella’s body a little too close to mine.
I released her and she began to walk towards my, our, family. She looked at each of them as they each smiled at her. Then, she made her round once more and walk towards me. She lifted her right hand and, ever so gently, put it to my cheek. I held it to my face. I then breathed in the new scent of her skin that didn’t burn my throat, but it caused a spark in my body. It was like we were the only two people in the room, in the town, in the world, in the universe.
“I love you,” she said as she looked into my eyes.
I froze in my place, lost in her crimson eyes and the beautiful melody that was her new-found voice. I smiled the smile that used to cause heart-rate to speed up. She reacted to it a bit differently than before. She wrapped her arms around me.
Carlisle decided to interrupt us then, “Bella, how are you feeling?”
She answered in that beautiful voice again, “Umm… I’m not sure actually. It’s all so… overwhelming.”
Carlisle nodded, “That’s normal, but, do you feel…frightened by us or thirsty?”
“Frightened? Why would I be? I know you won’t hurt me. But,” she reached up to cup her burning throat, “I am thirsty.”
Carlisle smiled at her, then at me, “Edward, why don’t you take her to get a drink?”
“Okay,” I smiled at him then turned to Bella. “Let’s go hunting, baby. I don’t want you hurting.”
My words triggered something in her memory and she clutched at her stomach.
“E—e—Edward, is our baby okay? I remember that she couldn’t breathe. Did she make it, too?”
“Of course she did, calm down, Love. Renesmee is perfectly fine.”
“Can I see her before we go?”
I sighed and shook my head, “I’m not sure that’s a good idea yet. She is half human and blood runs through her veins.”
“You’re right. We’ll be back soon anyways.”
Jasper was angry by this point. He didn’t understand how she had so much control. I shook my head towards him to let him know that I was as dumbfounded as he was by that fact.
She walked behind me towards the large, doors that opened into a window. I pulled them both open and Bella gasped as I leapt out of the 3rd story to the dirt waiting below. I sensed that she was afraid to jump. I called up to her and told her I was here below her and would not let anything happen to her. She jumped and landed into my waiting arms. I placed her onto her feet then I began running and she followed.
I stopped in the middle of a clearing in the trees. Bella halted to a stop beside me.
“Close your eyes and listen,” I whispered to her.
She obeyed. She listened and I asked her what she heard.
“A heartbeat,” she answered, “what do I do?”
“Whatever your body tells you to do.”
I followed behind her as she stalked forward towards the mountain lion I heard with her. She spotted it a few seconds later and I watched in unnecessary horror as she attacked and killed it. I knew it wouldn’t hurt her, but I still felt the need to protect her. She finished off the animal, and her beautiful dress had been torn to shreds, and I could almost see all of her skin. I unconsciously drifted towards her.
She must have felt my presence behind me for she turned on me and growled and pounced on me, plowing me into the ground. She realized she made a mistake a little too late. She looked afraid and ashamed. I laughed at the look on her face
“I’m so sorry, Edward. I can’t believe I did that. How could I have even thought..?”
“It’s okay. I’m fine. It’s normal to over react.’
“But…, I could have hurt you. I THOUGHT I wanted to,” she looked at me, afraid.
She tried to get up so she could let me up, but, I held her on top of me. She gasped when I pressed my lips hard against hers. Her body melted on top of mine. Her legs twined with mine and I pushed against the small of her back to get her closer to me. She began unbuttoning my jeans, but I stopped her. Her face fell and I laughed and continued to kiss her as I pulled off my shirt and draped it around her almost bare form.**UPDATED PORTION FROM SEPT 28th BEGINS HERE** “Thank you. I guess I wouldn’t have been too presentable in front of anyone but you wearing that dress or what’s left of it anyways,” she laughed as she examined the remnants of her dress.
Her laugh was beautiful. It was like a symphonic mixture of lovely woodwinds and violins. I was momentarily lost in it, mesmerized. She noticed my mental absence.
“Umm… Edward? Baby, are you okay?” Bella asked urgently trying to call me back to our current location.
“Yes, love, I’m absolutely fine,” I stated, too embarrassed to tell her why I had blanked, “let’s get back to the house to see Renesmee,” I said as I kissed her, lightly, on the lips, teasing her.
She sighed. I decided to ease some of the lust and desire in the air before it finally became too much and us end up having our way with each other in the middle of the woods right here and now(even though it was so tempting), so I looked to her with a half-hearted smile and said, “I’ll race you.”
“You’re on,” she said as her lips turned up into an adorably wicked grin. She began running and, in truth, I was having a hard time paying attention to where I was going, for I ran behind her and saw just how much “damage” was really done to her dress, and, I didn’t mind at all when fantasies and memories came flooding into my mind as I looked at her now.
“I WIN!” Bella shouted from 30 yards in front of me. I braced my hands against my knees in false-fatigue. I played up the act by jokingly wiping not-present sweat from my forehead. She laughed that beautiful symphony again. I kissed her cheek. I opened the door of the house and was startled to find Jacob blocking our way in.
“Uh…,” Bella wasn’t sure what to say to him.
“Hey, Bella,” Jacob smiled at her.
“I didn’t….expect….to see you,” Bella stumbled over her words.
He hugged her and said, “I couldn’t have been more wrong before. You are far from dead to me. I’m happy to see you,” he smiled at her.
I reluctantly smiled in encouragement at Jacob. I had to admit though; I was starting to see him as part of the family, since, even though no one else knew, he had Imprinted on my daughter and there wasn’t anything I could do about it because Renesmee loved having Jacob around, so I never objected. I was fearful still of Bella’s reaction to that little detail she didn’t know about yet.
((I'm not done yet, but i'll keep you posted))