100 Days of Winter
I'm not usually the kind person you would call "extreme", but when the situation involves others, people I love mainly, I am capable of more I'm aware of. Some people call it an adrenalin rush, you know... in times of need, you get some sort of super strength and speed and your brain works super fast. It was Edward's first excuse when I asked about his true identity, after the incident with Tyler and his van; some others call it 'being special'. Me? I call it being strange. That's what I've always been, and I'm not going to change that neither today, nor tomorrow, nor ever.
This time wasn't going to be any different. With Charlie gone, and Jacob who knows where, the only one I could rely on was myself. And again, it was a tough thing to do... Trusting strange people is not the best decision to make, or so they say. I don't know anymore. My head works in a different way now. Not because of the venom running through my veins, but because the two people I love the most are missing, and it's not only them, but also the only family I have left. What's even worse? Their kidnapper is at large, and he's upset. Very upset.
It was a pretty cold morning, nothing out of place. It's always rather cold in Cleveland.
Oh yes, didn't I mention? We moved. The people in Forks were beginning to feel a bit uncomfortable around us. We were just too young for the age we supposedly had. The only exceptions were, of course, Jake and my dad. We stayed two more years after my marriage with Edward, but we got to the point where Nessie's quick development couldn't be hidden anymore. Neither could we hide the fact that Carlisle, a man who was "in his late fourties" now, still looked like he was in his early thirties (which he was). So we moved, we chose Ohio because it's covered in clouds most of the times. Just like old, good Forks. We don't interact very much with the people who lives near us, since Cleveland is not a tiny town where everyone knows everyone, and we don't need to buy any food, or toilet paper, or linens, sheets, pillows, etc. we decided to keep our house empty and spacious , that way Jacob could be himself in the house without breaking anything. Oh yeah, that too. He moved in with us. Not like... in in with us, but he bought (actually we bought him) a little house nearby so he could come over to be around Nessie. He almost kills me when I told him about going away. Charlie decided he didn't want to come. He loved Forks too much, he cared about his job, and the reputation he had got along the years. Also, he would miss Billy... oh, and Sue, who was now living with him. Seth and Leah are still deciding what to do.
Well... it's actually just Leah. You know what I mean.
Last night had been a mess. Most people would say so when they can't get any good sleep, but I say it because I couldn't stop thinking about my dreams.
Yes. I have dreams. They are not like the ones I had when I was a human, since I don't ever go to bed now. Well, not to sleep at least. They also aren't daydreams; those are supposed to be conscious and nice. Mine appear when I blink. I don't do it very often because I don't need it, but sometimes the human I used to be resurfaces in me and I blink a couple of times within an hour. In those unconscious times I blink, an image forms in my brain. It looks and feels very real, and the voices in it are very clear too, although that doesn't mean I fully understand what I'm hearing.
At first they were blurry scenes, short words and low noises. But after three months they have developed realism. I can see the red eyes I feared for so long in such a way I tremble. Even after all this time. Even after having "defeated" him. Aro was still my worst nightmare. Literally.
"Bella, what is it?" Asked my husband in a dark tone. He seemed worried, always jumping to the worst conclusion immediately.
"N-nothing. I'm just fine" I faked a smile. Thank God he couldn't read my mind. After so long my lying skills have improved greatly. Of course, I can't lie to Edward unless it's necessary... was it necessary this time? I think so. I hope I'm not wrong.
"Bella, dear, I may not be able to read your mind, but I can read your face. What is going on? Should I worry?"
"Edw-no! Please don't make a big deal out of this! I'm absolutely fine. Just a bit distracted. You know how us vampires are."
"Well, you might be right, but I can't help but feel you are behaving differently around me. Renesmee does too."
"Did... did she tell you that or did you...?"
"She did. She expressed her concern several times earlier today, and during the whole week"
"I think I should go to talk to her"
"I think you should. And please, if there is anything you need to hide from her, I beg you, do not hide it from me too. You know I always will understand"
"I know. I... better go now. Nessie might have finished hunting already"
"Alright, I love you"
I left. I didn't even say 'me too'. I really wasn't behaving the same around them. It's just... I want to protect them, and the only way is by keeping the truth from them. I know I shouldn't but... I love them too much. Too much to put their lives in risk once again. I'm not willing to lose anyone else in my life. Specially not them.
Should I go on? Pleease let me know. Thanks a lot!