The Twilight Saga

This story is about what would have happened if Bella didn't jump off the cliff, and Edward came back.  Let me know what you think and I will write more, if people like it.  Thanks!

 

Chapter 1

 

                I rolled over in my bed and stared through the window.  It was starting to lighten up outside, so I must have been asleep longer than I thought.  Yesterday had been a long day.  Victoria was after me again, and the wolves chased her off, again.  I had thought about cliff diving, but heard the howling and thought that I should save it for another day.

                That was a hard decision to make.  I needed to hear him.  It had been too long since my last hallucination.  The only thing that stopped me was the fact that I had been acting selfishly lately.  What would Charlie, Renee, and Jake do if I ended up accidentally killing myself while chasing figments of my imagination?  I was still planning on doing the jump, I would just wait until someone was with me.

                I didn't know when that would be, though.  I had made it back to Billy's when the call came.  Harry Clearwater had a heart attack.  I went to the hospital with Charlie and half of La Push, but there wasn't anything they could do.  Charlie wanted to stay and help Sue.  He was hurt by the loss of a good friend, and I could tell he didn't need to worry about me, so I let Jake drive me home.  I should have just waited.

                Jake was still wanting to push our relationship further, but I was struggling with the idea.  I knew I owed him so much more than what I could offer.  My heart was always going to be with Edward, wherever he may be.  Maybe I could do it though, maybe I could push myself do at least try and make Jacob happy.  He deserved it, and it's not like Edward wanted me anymore.

                I know I hurt his feelings last night when I avoided kissing him, but I couldn't do it until I was sure.  I needed to be sure I could dedicate what was left of me to doing it.  If I started then I knew it was something I would have to see through.  Jake would be devastated if I were to change my mind once we got things going.

                How was I going to do it?  The only hope I had was that Jake would be different enough that being with him wouldn't make me think of the way things used to be.  Jacob's skin was hot, Edwards was cold.  Jacob let me be reckless, Edward always wanted me safe.  Jacobs lips would be soft, Edwards was lips were hard and ice cold against my skin...

                I hugged into myself.  The hole was threatening to rip open again.  I needed to be smarter.  I couldn't think about things like that.  I couldn't let myself remember the way it felt when he would touch me.  I was so stupid to even think that his touches were coming from a place of love instead of boredom.  I wasn't good enough for him.  As much as I wanted him to love me, I loved him enough to hope that he had found whatever it was that he went looking for.

                I would be okay as long as I knew he was happy somewhere.  Unfortunately I wouldn't even get the pleasure of knowing that.  The Cullens were good at leaving.  All that was left of them was an empty house, no forwarding addresses or phone numbers.

                Once the pain in my chest eased up enough I got out of the bed.  I went in to the bathroom and brushed my teeth.  I was looking somewhat normal again, but the loss was still in my eyes.  I tried smiling, laughing, looking angry, but none of it worked.  The look of emptiness was there in everything I did.  Luckily I had gotten so good at faking everything that no one looked that close anymore.

                I made my way downstairs and got out a bowl for my cereal.  I sat at the table trying to concentrate on only what was in front of me when I heard the phone ring.  Charlie could get it.  I didn't feel like talking to anyone yet.

                The phone kept ringing, and Charlie didn't pick up.  I looked out the kitchen window and saw that his cruiser was gone.  He must have left before I woke up.  I heard the answering machine pick up and a man's voice began speaking.

                "Hi Bella, this is Billy.  Jake really-"

                I grabbed the receiver.  "Hey Billy.  Sorry, I was eating and thought Charlie was here.  What's up?"

                "Good, you're home.  Uh, Jake wanted me to call you and make sure you  weren't out of the house yet."

                "Why?  What's going on?"

                My mind started racing.  Was Victoria here again?  Was she getting closer?  Thank goodness Charlie was gone.  At least he would be spared.

                "Jake should be there soon.  He'll explain everything.  Just make sure you stay inside for now."

                "Billy tell me- AHHHH!"

                I felt a hand grab my shoulder.  I should have recognized the heat right away. 

                "Jake, what the hell???  Um, Billy, he's here.  Thanks."

                I didn't wait for a response.  I put the phone back in its place and sat in the chair I had been in previously.  I needed to catch my breath.

                "Geez Bells, jumpy much?"

                "Well, when you're being hunted by a vindictive vampire, yeah.  What's going on?"

                He looked at me, studying my face.

                "You really don't know?"

                "Jake,  I just woke up.  I have no clue what you're talking about.  What's happened?

                He pulled a chair out and sat next to me.  He looked like he wanted to tell me something, but at the same time he didn't want to.

                "Spit it out Jake, I'm a big girl.  I can take it."

                He sucked in a huge breath, then looked at the floor.

                "One of them is back."

                "One of what, Jake?  Look at me."

                He didn't move.  He still looked down and wouldn't face me.

                "One of them, you know who.  Do I really need to say it?"  He sounded very tired all of the sudden.

                "Yes, you do, because I don't know what you're talking about."

                He finally looked up at me.  He looked sad, like someone had run over his puppy.

                "One of the Cullens.  Sam ran across one of their scents close to their old house this morning.  I would have been here sooner, but because of the treaty, I'm not even supposed to be here."  His voice took on a menacing edge.  "But I won't leave you unprotected with those bloodsuckers running loose after what they did to you."

                My mind started reeling.  Who was it?  When were they there?  Were they still here?  Why hadn't they come to see me? 

                I tried to mask the pain that followed.  I didn't want Jake to see it, he thought I should be angry.  It didn't matter who it was, because they weren't coming here.  They were probably long gone by now.  I wasn't important to them, so it didn't matter.

                "Jake, you don't need to worry, they aren't coming here.  They left me.  They aren't coming back for me."

                He shook his head.  "Bella, please be honest.  Did you know they were here?"

                "No, Jake.  I didn't know.  They probably left again already, just looking for something important they left behind."  I didn't need to say anything else, he heard the double meaning in my words.

                "Look, Jake, you don't need to worry.  I have to get ready for work, so you can go home.  I'll call you later okay?"

                I was lying.  I wasn't scheduled to work today.  I just needed him to leave before I completely fell apart.  I couldn't let him see me like this again.

                He stood up and pulled me in to a vice tight hug.  I mustered all the energy I had just to put my arms around him.  The news had somehow sucked the life out of my body.  I couldn't even feel my legs.

                He put me back on my feet, and somehow I managed to stay upright.  I was thinking about all the times I had longed to hear these words, but now realized that it was a cruel thing.  To hear one of them was this close, and didn't even bother to say hi, just made me realize how little I meant to all of them.  Maybe, if it were Rosalie, it wouldn't hurt so bad.  At least she never pretended to like me.

                I was thinking too much to notice what was happening.  When I finally focused on the here and now I realized that Jake was kissing me.  He had my face between his hands, and he was kissing me.

                I was so shocked that I didn't know what to do, but I knew I didn't want this.  I reached for his face to push him back, but he took it as an invitation.  One of his hands fell to the small of my back, and pulled my body flat against his.  I couldn't escape.  I knew my only hope was to just give up.

                I stood completely motionless, and he eventually noticed that I wasn't responding.

                "Oh come on Bells, you can't tell me that you didn't like that."  He was angry.

                "Yes, I can tell you that.  Leave, now."  My voice was lifeless, just like the rest of me.

                He let go of me and walked to the door. 

                "This isn't over.  As soon as we're sure they're gone, I'll be back to finish this."

                "I wish you wouldn't Jake.  It might not end the way you want it to."

                "Might, Bella.  Might"  There was too much hope in his answer.

                I didn't have the energy to argue with him now, so I just shut the door.

                I leaned back against the cool wood and started to hyperventilate.  I knew what was coming, and I knew I didn't want to be here when it arrived.  I dragged myself up the steps, and crawled on my hands and knees to my room.  I shut the door and collapsed on the floor.  I couldn't even make it to the bed.

                The pain washed over me like waves during a hurricane.  Each one was higher and stronger than the one before it, destroying everything in its path.  It felt like there wasn't going to be anything left of me when this storm passed.  I felt like I had been trampled by bulls and there was nothing left of me except a bloodied corpse.  I wanted to die.  I wished I could die.

                The only thing that could have broken through the pain was the feeling of cold hands brushing back my hair.  Hands that were on my face, hands that I would know anywhere.

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Replies to This Discussion

write more its really good!! id read it :)
I'd definatly read this!! ( I don't know if I spelled definatly right but i dont care!)
Anyways this is REALLYYY good
u hve to write moreeee
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh not cool to stop there! please update me asap! really soon!
Chapter 2.

I was really losing it. I was hurting so much that I must be endangering my own life. I was imagining his hands caressing my face, and he was whispering in my ear, "Bella, open your eyes.”

I don't know why my imaginary Edward would want me to open my eyes and see that I was still alone. My hallucinations usually didn't sound so sad either. My pain was reflected in his usually caring voice. I was really losing it.

Sobs were shaking my body so intensely that I was honestly worried that I might convulse too hard and hit my head on something. As clumsy as I was, that wasn't outside the realm of possibility. I had somehow worked myself across the floor and my back was pressed up against my work desk. I needed to get to my bed.

I unwrapped my hands from around my torso and reached behind me to grab on to the desk. I needed something steady to pull myself up against, even if it was just on to my knees. I could probably crawl the few feet I needed to get there.

I must have grabbed my laptop, because the hard metal was cool under my fingers. I moved my hand around, trying to find something that wasn't damageable and expensive to replace. My hands continued to move, but no matter where they went, everything felt the same. Cold and hard. I focused harder and realized that I wasn't moving my hands across anything, they were moving up and down.

I opened my eyes, and immediately shut them again. I saw his face. The pain on his face was an exact mirror of mine. Why was I torturing myself like this? Why was I trying to pretend that he would be hurt to see me like this. Guilty, yes. Hurt, no. He left me, he wasn't feeling this kind of pain.

In a last ditch effort to escape from the pain I managed to pull myself across the floor and up on to my bed. I pulled the covers up to my chin and let the pain have me. I couldn't breathe, my heart felt like it was going to pound through my chest, and my arms and legs were numb. My head was throbbing from the tension rolling through my body.

I didn't try to fight it. It lasted longer if I did, so I let it take me. Memories flooded my mind and I couldn't look away. I watched them all with morbid fascination, trying to see or hear any false notes in the things he did and said. I could find none, but he was a good liar.

I don't know how long I stayed there before the sobbing slowed. It must have been a while, because my stomach was growling with hunger. I opened my eyes and looked at my clock. It was after noon, so I had been up here for at least four hours.

I kicked the covers off, and rolled to face the door. I was thirsty and needed some Tylenol for my headache. I let out a sigh and placed my feet on the floor. I stood to walk to the door and stopped.

He was sitting with his back against my door, looking like he was choking on something. I was too tired to even think about what that might mean. I was done with my hallucinations for today, so I reached for the door and pulled.

The door didn't open and he didn't move. I pulled again, and again neither one budged. I dropped my hand and shut my eyes.

"Just go away, I don't want to deal with this right now." I was talking to myself, so I didn't expect fake Edward to respond.

"I can't. I can't go away again." The voice sounded too clear, and the cold touch on my ankle felt too real.

I opened my eyes again. He was looking up at me and looked as though he was trying to say something, but the words wouldn't come. No, not wouldn't come, couldn't come.

I finally realized that if this hallucination wasn't going away just yet, maybe I could make it work to my advantage. Maybe I deserved to feel wanted for a few minutes. If this was all I could get, I would take it. I knew I would pay for it ten-fold later, but I didn't care. One minute of reprieve was worth whatever would come.

I sat cross legged on the floor, so that I was face to face with this figment of my imagination. I smiled at it, and reached my hand out to touch the face. I was amazed at how my mind had stored away the exact feeling that would be in my fingers as they traced the hard planes of his face.

"I know you aren't real, but I wish you were."

It didn't respond. It opened its mouth to speak, but no sound came out. I leaned down and laid my face against its chest and felt its arms encircle me. I sighed in contentment and ran my fingers through the hair on its neck. I listened to the breath moving in and out of its lungs as it drew in my scent.

I stayed there for a few minutes and relished the thought of finally feeling pain free, even if it was only going to last for a few minutes. I sat back up and smiled serenely at my minds creation.

"I can't live in this fantasy forever, so I have to say goodbye." I leaned forward and placed my lips against it. I kissed it and felt it respond to me with a desperation that at one time would have made me melt completely. As it was, my heart did stutter. I was getting good at manifesting these things.

I pulled back and stood up, its hands trailing the length of my leg as I rose. I pulled the door again, and it still would not move. I pulled harder, but nothing happened.

My eyes flashed down to its face, twisted in pure agony. I yanked as hard as I could and kept yanking. I started crying begging it to go away so I could leave. I was going crazy.

"Bella..."

"NO! DON'T SPEAK TO ME! JUST LET ME LEAVE! I CAN'T BE THIS CRAZY!"

I didn't even see it move, but it was suddenly between me and the door, grasping my face in an iron grip.

"Bella, please, listen to me. I am real, I am HERE."

"No, you left me. You don't want me. You were bored with me and I am going crazy." I was trying to shake my head, but it wasn't being allowed to move.

"It's me Bella. Please believe me. I NEED you to believe me."

My body went completely limp. I would have hit the floor, only something stopped me. Air rushed over my body and I was suddenly laying in the tub.

"Bella, I'm sorry that it has come to this. I wasted too much time as it is, you have to get moving now. If I weren't real I wouldn't be able to do this."

I saw his hand turn the knob, but I didn't expect anything to happen. Cold water came rushing from the shower head and covered my body. It shocked me and took my breath away. I was scrambling to get out of the stream on iciness.

As quickly as the water had come, it ended. The coolness was replaced by a pair of cold hands pulling me from the tub. I shivered involuntarily at his touch. If my mind was reeling before, it was completely immobile now. There were no thoughts, no questions, nothing.

He wrapped a towel around me and scooped me in to his arms. I was cradled against his chest and we were moving. He headed straight for my window, jumped down, and we were flying. I squeezed my eyes shut and waited for the moving to stop.

When he finally put me down I was sitting on the black leather couch in his room. The room was the same, but there was no power, and the house smelled of disuse. I was shaking from the cold air on my wet skin.

"I have to keep you here. I need to call Alice."

His phone was already at his ear and he was speaking too fast for me to understand. In a flash the phone was gone again. He was ghosting in what I could only guess was a vampires version of pacing. I couldn't take my eyes off of him, when I could actually make out his shape.

"Edward?" I barely breathed his name. I still hadn't fully come to terms with the fact that he was real.

He immediately stopped and looked at me. If I didn't know better I would think that he was crying. Of course there wouldn't be any tears, but the look was there in his face, and the catch was there in his voice.

"Bella. I am so sorry for what I have done. I should be killed for what I have left you to deal with. Please know that I had no idea that Victoria was here, or that there were werewolves nearby. I only thought I was protecting you. Alice said that you were thinking of...of... Why would you want to jump off of a cliff, Bella? WHY?"

In his agitation he had come to kneel on the floor in front of me. He placed his forehead against my legs, which I had pulled up against my chest.

"It was only meant to be in fun. I'm not planning on killing myself, if that's what you think. I know about the werewolves, they are the ones keeping Victoria away from me, for now. You don't need to feel guilty about any of this. Leave your family be, and go back to whatever it is that you were doing."

My voice sounded like that of a person who was on their deathbed. It was completely lifeless. My mind couldn't deal with everything that appeared to be happening, so it shut down in to pre-Jacob zombie mode. There were no feelings.

"Bella, Alice and the others are on their way. Once they get here we will handle Victoria, and then we are going away somewhere. You need to think of something to tell Charlie."

"No, I don't. You can go. Jacob and the others will stop her. If they don't, then so be it. I'm going to die sometime, so why not now? Why not this way? If it's meant to happen, it will happen. You shouldn't feel guilty about it. It's not your fault, or your decision. You gave up rights to any decisions when you left."

He brought himself to sit on the couch beside me. I couldn't make myself face him. I felt empty inside. I felt like a patient in a mental hospital who couldn't move, and whose eyes couldn't focus on what was in front of them, so they just stared at walls all day.

He took my chin in his hands and turned my face to him.

"Bella, please don't speak that way. You have to live, you have to fight."

"Why? Just to ease your guilt? If I die it's not your fault, you have nothing to feel guilty for. Please take me home."

"I have everything to feel guilty for. It is my fault that I haven't taken care of Victoria before now, and it's my fault that I left you here unprotected from the wolves that have been surrounding your house. I could smell them everywhere, and one has even been in your room." His body shuddered. "I have to do what's right. I need to make you safe again."

"Why? So you can leave me again once you've accomplished your goal? So I can be left with this burning hole in my chest again? No thank you, Edward. I prefer to be left alone."

I stood up and walked towards his door. Before I could even get halfway there I heard it slam shut and he was blocking my way.

"Bella I can't leave you alone anymore. I tried and I failed. I thought I was doing the right thing, and you would be better off with me gone, but I was wrong. I thought I could live without you, but I was wrong about that too."

"Uh huh, and you just thought that by pretending to love me for so long you were doing me a favor? You thought that it would be funny to watch the silly human fall in love with someone so perfect and unattainable? I thought you were better than that. I guess we've both been wrong about things."

I can't imagine why but my words seemed to hurt him. He sank to his knees and placed his head in his hands.

I moved for the door and got there just as Edward let out a fearsome growl. At the same moment Jacob burst in to the room. He was in human form, so I was surprised to see him. As soon as he saw Edward his body started trembling and Edward crouched to spring.

"BELLA MOVE! You're too close!" Edward looked scared to death for me.

I jumped in front of Jake to block Edwards attack. I wasn't looking at either one when I spoke.

"Please don't! I LOVE HIM!"

Jacobs trembling stopped immediately. Edward froze in place. I had given up my only secret and I didn't want to. They both looked confused and stunned.

"Bella? Do you truly feel that way?" Edwards face looked haggard as he spoke to me.

"Yes, Edward that is how I truly feel." I didn't want to explain that the love I spoke of was for him alone. Let him come to his own conclusions, then maybe he wouldn't feel so guilty over someone who was nothing more than a amusement to him.

He straightened out of his crouch and turned his back to me. I could barely make out his reflection in the window, but he looked like he was in pain. That couldn't be right. The glass was old or warped, it was distorting things.

I turned to Jacob and grabbed his hand. He was looking at me in shock. I pulled him down the stairs and out the front door. As soon as we were outside he phased and allowed me to climb on to his back. As he began to run I heard glass shattering and an agonizing cry of inhuman pain.
AWWW!!!
Poor Edward!!
omgish edward!!!!!!! tears really geeze!!!!! what is she doing to edward he is back and he loves her omgish!!!
Yay. I'm glad you seem to be enjoying it so far.
Bravo Amber. A fabulous start to your story and I am dying to find out what happens next. I love the idea of Edward coming back because he realised she was in danger and the way you conveyed her pain and belief that she was hallucinating was brilliant.
I love the way you write so I am really looking forward to watching this story develop.

Cheers
Michelle
Thanks Michelle! This is first time I've tried to write someone elses Characters, so I hope I can get it right. It's easier than I thought it would be, probably b/c SM makes her characters so relatable. Here's hoping that I don't screw it up!
Wow this is really good, keep writing.
I'm glad that everything came across so clearly! I'm gonna try to squeeze in some writing tonight, so I'll get up another chapter as soon as I can. Thanks!

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