The Twilight Saga

A Ravens Wing - Devi's story ( i want opinons& critism)

Inspired by my Romanian clan! (Devi's outfit attached)

Chapter 1 - My beggining
I twirled in my outfit spinning in the dull lit tent.
“Perfect Devi…chavvy you look beautiful.” Nadya exclaimed proud of her work.
“Only because of you!” I beamed Nadya and I have been working on this dress for three weeks.
The outfit was black and was a long skirt that had a long slit for my leg I had a halter top that had loose straps a thin cape was behind me, my flat belly was exposed and my rather full chest was revealed in the dress.
She walked towards me with proud smile on her face “Oh Devi you have grown so much…” tears were in her huge violet eyes.
I closed my eyes so no tears would escape.
Many years ago Nadya and Angelika found me in the forest during a thunderstorm when I was shy of four years old. I was cold, wet, scared, and confused my parents allegedly left me in the woods. From there on Nadya and Angelika raised me as there own.
I shook my head letting those memories fade once again.
“Nadya, do you think I am even ready?” I ask her with fear in my voice I wasn’t so sure I could handle the pressure. I have been performing with the group for three years now, but now everyone wanted me to dance a special solo at each performance. My mouth went dry and my hands went clammy I looked up at Nadya’s face hoping for some kind of assurance.
“Oh Devi of course you are ready! You were born to dance. You were born to join us.” She stated. I nodded “ I should get out of this now. I really don’t want to wreck it.” I said softly.
“You better not get out of that dress yet! Let me see you!” the loud booming voice of Angelika sounded outside of the tent. Angelika walks in “Oh my! Chavvy you look wonderful!” her loud voice tells me. Her long wavy blond hair is in a bun and I can see her dark blue eyes. “Oh Angel thank you!” I say politely I was a bit overwhelmed. “ I am very tired…I should rest we will be traveling to the next village tomorrow so..” I stopped letting them know I was tired
“oh yeah...” Nadya sighed “good night sweetheart.” She added then kissed my forehead.
“Sweet dreams” Angelika said then left.

We Traveled all day but finally we were in the village of Wachenburn.
Young children covered our flanks when we arrived.
My eyes widened when I saw how large the so called small village.
“Oh darling we have had a bigger crowd then this before, so don’t worry.” Angelika assured me.
“It’s different this time…This time I will be performing ALONE” I cried in frustration. I started to pull out our small equipment. “Im going for a walk.” I shook my head. “Yeah go relax.” Angelika advised me.
I wanted to do this. Right? Well I really hoped so.
My stomach was tied in knots. I gracefully danced my way through the village taking deep breaths. “Hello!” a young voice of a little girl “My name is Talitha…umm what’s your name?” she asked expectantly her hair was dark brown almost black covered her face her pink lips twitched as she waited for my answer. “Im Devi and I am going to dance tonight.” I said out loud to myself and to Talitha. “Oh really my mum is taking me to that tonight!” she told me anxiously. “where is your mum shouldn’t you find her?” I ask not wanting to be rude and telling her to just go away. She shook her head letting me see her grey eyes “My mother is making me bring this” she motioned towards the pail that was behind her “to your campsite. You see my mum is a very kind lady so…” she stopped as her eyes trailed behind me she gasped. “what..” I say then I look over my shoulder.
Behind me in the shadows three young men in dark cloaks
The oldest looking one had cropped light brown hair he was tall with a huge torso and legs he was speaking to a very tough looking man with jagged/spiky dark brown hair.
The youngest looking one was laughing at the two older boys. He was not as tall as the other two, he was a bit taller than me , He had long hair that was black as a ravens wing.
But the men looked liked they were not related all except there pale skin and dark amber eyes they all seemed to have that…they were all very beautiful and they all looked as if they were outsiders…
“Uhh..Devi I still need to take this to your campsite...” her voice trembled and it snapped me out of my daze. “Oh yeah I should help you.” I said blankly
We made it to Nadya and she thanked Talitha and asked her to come see us at tonight.
“She is sweet don’t you think?” Nadya asked me. “Yeah she’s very nice..” I responded.
I was still thinking of the young men. I wonder if they will come see me dance? My cheeks burned at the thought.
“Ohh for the love of… The crew has the tents set up and you haven’t ate since we got here! Right after supper we have to get you dressed and your make up on! hurry!” Angelika’s voice rushed out chastising me. “Im really sorry Angel I met a little girl and we were talking here for a while..but I will get ready right now because im not hungry at all.” I assured her.
She narrowed her eyes ‘You know I hate letting you off so easily but alright lets get to it” she told me in a down to business tone.

I was dressed and ready by the time the sun of horizon. My body was decorated in jewellery. I looked for my black paint. My eyes scanned our caravan. Where was it? I sighed with relief when I saw in underneath apiece of canvas. I had my paintbrush immediately and dipped it into the paint. I let my imagination grow more widely as I painted thin vines on my leg from my ankle to my thigh.
“im at last ready!” I called out to Nadya “that’s great get out here we have the crowd all ready and…take a deep breath..” she advised me
I breathed in deeply and walked out of my tent and walked into the small empty space where I was expected to dance in. I looked up quickly to see a large crowd hollering at me. I found the proud face of little Talitha looking expectantly into my eyes.
The music started and I moved with the rhythm swaying my arms to tell a story of tragedy.. The music got icy and my body moved like a serpant then the music went up tempo and faster as the beast attacked. My arms swayed once more then the music stopped.
I was scared to look up and face the shame of what a mess up I was. But when I did take my deep breath there was cheers, giggles and applause. Angelika motioned me towards her. “ See I knew you would do great!” her smile was huge. I was kinda proud of myself then I realized I was starving. I should’ve ate when Angel told me too! But I still need to dance with the group...
“Angel is it okay if I skip the rest im really hungry.” I ask then flash her some puppy dog eyes. “Okay … But only because you did terrific. You can go ask my cousin Bo for some food. He owes me money so tell him to take it off his debt.’’

I started walking towards the stalls when I bumped into a statue. Wait… not a statue a person. “Im so sorry!” I said delicately. “Oh do not worry…” a voice like milk and honey told me . A males voice…A perfect voice. I looked up to see it was the dark haired boy from earlier.
He smiled a perfect grin. “Whats your name?” his soothing young voice asks me.
“D-Devi..” I stutter “and what is your name?” I ask boldly.
“Devi ..such a beautiful name…It means goddess of power.” He said softly it made me shiver.
“I am Nathan. You are a magnificent dancer.” He complimented me!
“Thank you…Are you from here?” I asked wanting him to speak some more.
“No I came here with my…brothers Damien and Anthony” he told me then furrowed his eyebrows. “Oh.” Was all I could say. I stared at him his eyes were full of strain.
“Would you like to walk with me.” Nathan laughed light hearted.
“umm...Okay.” I didn’t want to say no but something wanted me to just stand my ground and run away.
“I feel like I know you somehow.” Nathan said when he wasn’t looking at me.
“I do not know how that is possible though..” I said with my voice trembling . I really enjoyed staying with Nathan. “I don’t want to see you get hurt.” He said ignoring what I said.
My heart was jumping. What was wrong with me I don’t even know who this guy is and yet im walking alone with him at night!
“I Feel like I can trust you Nathan.” I said calming myself. His lip twitched when I said his name. “ I really want to learn about you.” He said as if I was some kind of education.

We talked for a long time in the dark. He asked me about Nadya and Angelika , he talked to me about how Anthony was his oldest brother and always looked after him and Damien was his other older brother. We spoke about how we were both abandoned by our parents. I asked him his age and he paused right before he said he was fifteen. He was two years older than me and I was up to his chin. I started telling him about my love for plants and flowers and he laughed.
Rain started and I was getting cold. Nadya would freak out at me when she sees my wet outfit. “Here… you look cold.” He was handing me his big cloak when I touched his arm he stiffened. He was freezing…Maybe I should let him keep the jacket.
“Devi…I do not want to see you hurt.” He bowed his head as if he knew of shame.
“NATHAN!” an outraged voice that came from behind us called. I looked t see it csme from what could only be Damien.
“Ohh you screwed us up…” called another voice which belonged to Anthony.
“You need to run Devi… please run away from me.” Nathans voice whispered to me, I was extremely confused. Why would I need to run from his brothers? I decided to count on the fear that came from his voice. “Go now!”he snapped at me. I nodded a quick jerk of my neck and took off. I ran back towards the Village. I ran and ran till I was where the festivities were at. Then I heard a piercing scream.

My face was drained of all blood when I turned behind me to see Damien holding little Talitha by neck. Her face was blank and she looked lifeless.
Tears began in my eyes. What was happening what kind of monster is Damien?
I heard more screams and I ran towards my tent. “Devi..” a familiar voice cried. It was Nadya. “H-h-help me.” She hiccupped. I looked to see that Angelika was on the ground pale and blood was dripping from her throat. “ I don’t know what to do Nadya..” the tears were overcoming me I couldn’t see. “We have to get out of here now!”I yelled at her.
she Jerked her head from side to side saying no. “You have to leave Chavvy… I can’t leave without my angel.”
“Please Nadya I cant do this on my own!” I begged her.
Then Nathan came and snatched me. “ What’s happening Nathan! I don’t understand why are your brothers killing everyone!” I cried hysterically at him.
“shhh..Devi its okay ill keep you safe…You will not die!” he said trying to calm me.
I noticed he was carrying me. He was even running. He started to slow when we got to the outskirts of the village. I opened my eyes to see we stopped at an inn.
Like that will save us from his crazy brothers! “Nathan…What are you.” I ask my voice shook terrified.
He didn’t answer me. ‘Nathan..I have only known you tonight but I really think I love you. But im so scared and I just want to know whats happening.” I said with my eyes closed.
“You love me?” he asked like he didn’t believe me. “How can you love me? Do I not repulse you! Do I not scare you!” he yelled at me. I was crying now of course he was scaring me now! “I am a cursed being.” He said softly and ashamed. “I don’t know if I can protect you from them..Know one is supposed to know.” He said so quietly I couldn’t even sure if that is wht he said. “Devi…I think I love you too. But this love can’t be.”
He started to get away from me. “NO!” he cried out.
“Whats wrong Nathan are you hurt!” I asked scared.
“Im sorry…Devi. I will come for you again one day and all I ask is to…Keep the secret.” He saqid then got so close to me I couldsmell his honey breath.
He kissed me and pulled away. “I love you.” he closes his eyes.
My heart was pounding. “I love you too Nathan!” I tell him . He then kissed my throat then he bit.
I gasped because I was so shocked what was Nathan doing to me! Was he the same a his other brothers! Then I screamed My neck was scorching! I was burning. But I can’t remember a fire in here I opened my eyes and saw through my teary eyes Nathen looking at me with sadness. Then his head jerked up. “We have killed everybody I hope…so now we need to leave.” Anthonys voice commanded.
Nathan covered my mouth with his hand and said “You need to be silent for 15 seconds so you can still live.” I believed him and clenched my teethe.
“I love you.” He whispered one more time then disappeared.
After abnout a mnute later I let out a wail. My whole body was in blistering heat.. And I was all alone… With nobody… After along while with the pain still everywhere.
My heart thumped once more the faultered. The burning all stopped at once but stayed in my throat.
I got up and all I wanted was blood.

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Replies to This Discussion

wow hon this is greta:)
hey maybe i will write a story about my beginning too:)
aww...thanks i dont know i got a bit carried way and i didnt want a little chapter ...well i was gonna cut it up into chapters then i was like nah... So thanks alot!
neah dont do it:0ots better this way:)
i like it:)
Really!..thanks my other chapters will have to be the same length but i have imagination ..Ill work it hahaha
ohh im gonna try to post the nxt chapter tommorrow
I love ur story JoHannah

Plz right more
I made you a banner
it took me an hour to tweak out some problems
i had to do it over an over again to make it perfect
so here it is

you got to add more this is amazing


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