"I trust you more than you know," he smiled down at me.
"Why? I mean clearly that's a horrible decision," I argued.
"It really isn't. Name one time you've lied to me, and be honest."
I thought it over carefully, remembering every thought I'd had while talking to him. Nothing popped into my head.
"Okay, but just because I haven't lied to you doesn't mean you should trust me more than anyone else."
"Sarah, I just want you to be happy. If you have feelings for him, I'll understand, just tell me."
"I don't have feelings for him, I only have feelings for you. I think it's just to know that after all that I went through, after all the pain I felt, that if I had just given it some time I wouldn't have had to go through it. It really means nothing, it was more of a thought than a feeling."
I looked up at him and he cuddled me to him closer.
"I understand better than you know," he whispered into my ear.
I stood up from the couch and took his hand. He stood up and towered over me. I tugged on his hand and led him to the kitchen. I grabbed two glasses from the cabinet and took out a milk jug from the fridge filled with sweet tea.
"Bella," I said, nodding as I poured Jacob and I each a glass of tea.
"You know what I mean because of Bella, right?"
I could feel his eyes staring at my back.
"Right," he whispered.
"Let's just forget about this, please. He'll be back and I know that, but, until that happens, just… don't think about it. Pretend it's what it really is, nothing."
"For you, I'll do that." His arms wrapped around my waist and he lightly bent his head and kissed my shoulder.
I turned around and wrapped my arms around his neck.
"I got my school schedule in the mail today," I whispered in his ear, trying to change the subject.
"Haha, what does it look like?" he asked as he laughed at my nonchalance.
"Honors English 10, Patriot Harmony (Women's Choir), Honors Algebra 2, and Honors Chemistry 2 for first semester; Modern History, Patriot Harmony (Women's Choir), Geometry, and Government/Economics for second semester. I have to get Honors Chemistry 2 changed though."
"I haven't had regular Chemistry yet," I laughed.
"I'm still proud of you for making it into choir," he smiled as he gently kissed my lips.
"I sang better in my audition than I ever have," I laughed back.
"You always sing beautifully," he winked down at me and I felt a faint blush color my face. "I love it when you blush," he smiled.
"It's embarassing," I retorted quickly.
"But adorable," he winked again, making the blush return to my face stronger this time.
"Stop that," I laughed.
"Stop what?" he winked at me.
"You know 'what'," I laughed as I covered my cheeks with my hands.
Life had gotten better since the week before my birthday. Up until today, Jacob and I hadn't been bothered for a few months.
No close encounters with death, I still hadn't fallen and broken any of my bones, and Jacob… I still loved him. I felt Jacob's hand on my waist as I thought of him.
"I love you," he whispered as he touched his forehead with mine.
"I love you, too," I smiled back. I reached behind me and grabbed a glass of tea. I lifted it up to take a drink, but before I could, Jacob took the drink from my hands. I stared at him in disbelief as he gulped it down.
He moved the glass away from his face, the surface of it shining in the sunlight coming in through the back door, a smile spread across his face before I could get mad at him.
"Your mom makes the best sweet tea," he admitted with a sheepish grin.
"I made that," I laughed. "My mom was taking a nap and my dad asked me to make some."
"I think you have her beat," he smiled.
"Thanks," I blushed at him.
"I didn't even wink at you this time!" he laughed.
"I can't help it," I smiled.
"Sure you can't," he laughed as he reached for the other glass of tea behind me.
"Hey now! That one is mine," I cautioned.
"Okay," he laughed. "Don't gnaw my hand off."
"Thank you," I smiled.
I finished off my tea and headed for my room. I barked out a cough before I flopped down onto my bed.
"You have medicine for this, right?" Jacob asked.
"Nooo…" I tried to lie.
"My Advair and Albhuterol inhalers are in the cabinet above the coffee pot in the kitchen, along with my Singulair tablets and cough syrup."
"That's a lot of drugs. That's why you seem to be out of it all the time," he smirked at me before he left my room. I heard the sound of the cabinet door open then close and Jacob was back briefly.
"I feel like a drug dealer," he laughed as he handed me my medicine.
"I'm gonna' have to change my stash spot now that you know where it's at," I joked.
I meticulously measured, inhaled, and swallowed all of my medicine. I ran to the bathroom to rinse my mouth out from the ho
rrible taste of the cough syrup after I gulped down a tablespoon of it. Jacob sat everything on my dresser so I could get it whenever I woke up.
He was heading over to Sam's for a pack meeting and I was supposed to stay in bed and take a nap. I could feel the drowsiness start to slip in as the cough syrup kicked in.
"Don't leave," Jacob whispered as he kissed my forehead.
"The house, my room, or my bed?" I questioned him, smiling.
"All three," he laughed and winked at me.
"I told you to stop," I sighed.
"I had to get one more in, and you know it."
I watched as he turned away from me and left my room. I listened for his footsteps and the sound of the door closing, but I heard nothing as usual. I closed my eyes and was quickly unconscious.
I didn't dream, I rarely ever did. When I woke up I was colder than I usually was.
Suddenly I felt something strong grab my ankle. I could feel the individual fingers constricting around my bones.
My first thought was I was dreaming, but then I realized I was never this vivid with my dreams. My second thought seemed… stupid.
"Not this again," I thought to myself as I made my entire body freeze up.
From here on out "A Russet Love."s will be posted form here(:
A Russet Love. (49): http://thetwilightsaga.com/group/fanfiction/forum/topics/a-russet-l...
ohhh i loved it so good . . . yayyy im happy that yu posted again . . . cant wait till next chapter
i hope sarah comes to her senses and goes back to jacob they belong together. . . . .
LOVED IT . . .
A Russet Love. (55)
"What are you doing here?" I asked Jacob. His face was so familiar eventhough I'd never seen him before…
"I heard you and Hunter fighting… thought I'd see if I could help. It's probably none of my buisness, but it's a part of my knowledge that it helps to talk about stuff." His stature and build made him seem intimidating, but with that huge toothy grin on his face he seemed careful and childlike. "So what do you say? Want to talk about it?"
I thought about telling this complete and total stranger about something that I didn't even fully understand myself. Why did I get so upset with Hunter?
I stared into Jacob's eyes and saw a twinge of pain in his stare. I wanted to ask, but it seemed so personal to him…
"What's wrong?" I blurted out. Great to know that my mouth still has a rebelious streak.
He looked confused for a moment then another stab of pain shot across his gaze.
"Girls," he said with a laugh as he dropped his stare.
"Tell me about it," I smiled.
"I don't want to seem too… vulnerable and pathetic," he chuckled.
"I bet you won't. Your story probably beats mine…"
He let out a long sigh and paused before he continued.
I listened as he talked about the girl he loved… She stayed with him for six months and said she loved him, and she did, there was no doubt about how he described some of her actions. But then a boy she "loved" before they met came along and made her different some how. He described her afterwards as not even remembering what they had had just days earlier.
I looked in his eyes as they were watering. "I risked my life for her, and she left to be with… that… that… jerk!" A single tear slid down his cheek…
"That b!+(# !" I mumbled. My hand rose to my mouth and clamped down with a quiet slap. "Sorry…" I blushed. "I usually never cuss… but that's… HORRIBLE!"
His head tilted down and lightly shook back and forth. "It wasn't her fault. That guy had his claws dug into her so deep, neither of us could have done anything to stop it…"
"It's still horrible," I murmured as I gently rubbed his back.
His tense shoulders loosened and a contented sigh left his mouth to fill the room.
Even though I didn't know him, I felt… comfortable next to him; like I'd known him for a while. His head lifted and his eyes met mine. He seemed a bit happier after talking to me.
"Maybe, if you talk to this girl about it, she might come to her senses. I mean what girl wouldn't love a hot, sweet guy like you," I smiled up at him.
His mouth opened barely for a moment, but no sound escaped. He snapped his mouth shut, his lips forming a tight line. I watched as the color returned to his lips as they relaxed; from pale white to a lovely tanned color.
"I wouldn't have the guts," he admitted to the floor as his head drooped down again.
"I understand. I mean look at me; I just had a huge fight with my boyfriend, and, instead of talking to him about it, I'm hiding out in here like a recluse when it wasn't even my fault." I punched his bicep playfully and felt the firmness of it. "I bet you didn't know I'm outrageously shy…?" I smiled at him.
"You? SHY? You're the farthest thin-"
"I know, right?!" I cut him off smiling. "I have trouble talking to people in my own family without freaking out on the inside."
The corners of his mouth tempted to curl in at the edges for a moment, then, as his lips gave into the protest of his mind, he grinned his big toothy grin.
"I might be shy, but I can make people smile," I chuckled.
"Thanks," he beamed at me. His eyes seemed to stare me down with some unknown thought behind them. "I needed it."
"No prob! It's what I'm here for!" I smiled back at him. "If you ever feel like you need me again, just ask."
His eyes grew bigger and brighter at my words.
"Don't worry, I will."
"Good," I let out a sigh as my mind drifted off to Hunter. "I guess I'm gonna curl up underneath my comforter and become a recluse again…" I mumbled as I peered out the window.
"Do you want to talk about it? I might not be as big of a help as you were, but I can try…"
I felt like I needed to talk about what had been filling my mind most often lately and kept me up many a night wondering what was wrong with me.
"I don't feel… anything. Not just in general, specifically for Hunter. Used to, I knew that I loved him and wouldn't even have to dig deep within myself to know why. Now, the deeper I keep digging, the more I come up empty-handed. It's like I'm digging a hole to China and the temperature just keeps getting higher and the circumstances for finishing fade away…" I blankly stared at my hands as I fiddled with the skin of my knuckles. "If only… I wasn't… afraid…"
"What are you afraid of?" Jacob asked. I had almost forgotten that he was there.
"What Hunter will do or say if I tell him about this. He has quite a... temper… I guess you could say."
"Don't be afraid of him. Just tell him what you think and feel. If he loves you, he'll understand."
I thought it over… if Hunter did truly love me he would understand that I couldn't take it anymore and that I had formed newer thoughts and feelings… But what if he didn't? What if he got mad and yelled at me again? I can't take yelling, it makes me cry and become unreasonably uncomfortable…
"I'm just going to do it and deal with whatever happens," I told myself.
"Thank you, Jacob," I smiled as I reached up and kissed him on the cheek.
In that instant, thousands of nerve endings in my body shot surges into my brain. Memories passed through my head and shook and blurred as if they were trying to adjust and fix themselves.
I stared out blankly in front of me with my mouth hanging open.
Every memory that flashed before me involved Hunter. As the memories tried to adjust, in the blurry mix of colors, objects, people, and emotions, like an old T.V. when the picture went fuzzy, I could see a glimpse of change in the figure that was supposed to be Hunter. As the images became blurrier, the figure would change for a small fraction of a second then adjust back to Hunter and become the exact same it was before.
As I focused on the present, as the passing memories faded away and settled into the places where they had originally come from, I realized just how quickly those memories had flashed through my mind.
Jacob looked down at me and confusion just started to cover his face as he saw my blank stare.
"Are you okay?" he asked.
"What?" I breathed as I gently shook my head. "Oh, yeah. I'm fine. Something just popped into my head."
I hopped out of bed and headed out the door, phone in hand. Jacob was on the front porch closing my window behind him as he exited my room.
I dialed Hunter's number and just as I started to regret my decision and hang up, his voice sounded through the receiver.
"Sarah, I'm so sorry. Please, forgive me for yelling at you. I was just so upset with myself that I had the urge to… to… attack you right there and… kill you. Please… forgive me?"
"Hunter, I forgive you," I breathed trying to get a word in. I felt my heart pull as my mouth started to form the words that I had to say…
"Hunter, listen. I need to tell you… something."
I confessed to him everything inside of me. Everything I had been thinking and feeling. I left my conversation with Jacob out of it because this was between Hunter and I, and that had been between me and Jacob.
I heard complete silence on the other end for a while, then harsh breathing filled with anger. The other end went silent and suddenly a chill of ice shot up my spine and twisted my stomach as it trailed up my throat.
"You okay?" Jacob's eyes looked worried as he looked down at me.
"He's mad… really mad…" I whispered so quietly I thought he couldn't even hear.
"What? … Why?" he questioned.
I had no time to explain. I saw him stomping up the graveled path of my driveway with a fierce scowl on his face. As he made his way onto the porch, he sped past Jacob and took me by the throat.
"Do you really think it will be that easy to get rid of me?! Just tell me there's nothing there anymore?!" his voice was full of acid and rage.
I opened my mouth to try and speak, but I couldn't breathe as he held me in the air by my throat.
"Let her go!" Jacob demanded.
I clawed at Hunter's hand trying to find some space between his fingers and my skin to wedge my fingers in and create some room to breathe.
"Why should I?! You're not the one that risked their life to save her," he growled to Jacob's face. His head turned to face me and the menacing scowl was still plastered to his face. "I was." His smile was so beautiful even though it was deadly.
"She can't breathe! Let her go!" Jacob's voice growled more ferociously.
"Just a bit longer," he murmured. "She can hold her breath just a bit longer." That smile still playing across his lips.
I looked at him as if he were stupid. I have lung problems, I'm already out of breath. Him, of all "people", should know that. I try to hold my gaze, but black and white dots are clouding my vision, the biggest sign of passing out.
"She has lung problems! Look at her! She's passing out! LET HER GO!!" Jacob screamed at him.
The last thing I saw before my eyes closed was the connection of Jacob's fist to Hunter's jaw.
How did Jacob know of my lung problems? I just met him. I knew when I woke up, if I ever woke up, that that would be on the list of questions to ask Jacob Black personally.
A/N: Soooo, I haven't done an Author's Note before, but I decided there has to be one this chapter! Okay, so while I've been writing this chapter, I was thinking about what will happen after this.... I have two options. I'm going to post on of those options here when I get to it, and I'll post the other on the site FreeWriters And Readers. So you'll have one way the story will go on here and a COMPLETELY different way on my other site. If you think this is a good idea or it at least seems slightly interesting, leave a comment about it below. I am going to start updating like crazy if my mind can stay focused on this, and, hopefully, I'll get to the fork in the story before school starts again(: Well, I really hope you enjoyed this chapter(:
Bless your face. If you sneezed while reading this chapter, Bless you. Peace off(:
thank you! ill try my best. haha