The Twilight Saga

Edward is in Forks High and completely addicted to drugs and alcohol. He cannot let his past die and it keeps him looking for anything that will allow him to drown. Can anything bring him out of it? Can anyone bring him out of it? Is he too far gone for help? Would he allow anyone to help? Read on and find out.

 

 

                                                       -------

 

Hi everyone,

 

First off, I'm crazy, I know this. As if I don't have enough on here already, but this is just a test, I think...I am looking for some opinions on this story that has been taking over my brain. If you would like to read this in the future or anytime soon, please let me know what you think now so I can decide on whether to keep it or not.

 

I'm just testing the waters as of now.

 

D

 

Please comment...thanks...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                                                         Addicted

                                              Chapter One: Nothing Left

                                                            Edward

 

 

 

 

 

 

A constant nudge to my shoulder woke me out of my sedated state of mind, “Hey Edward, dude, you might want to wake up before Mrs. Cope catches you passed out in her class again. You get caught this time man and they won’t let you come back.” Mike whispered before Mrs. Cope came back in.

 

 

 

I lifted my head enough to look in Mike’s direction to let him know that I heard him. Drool hung in a long strand from my mouth to my desk and landed in a small puddle. “Hey Edward, you better hope your mutt of a friend Jake doesn’t bring his bike today…rain.” Jessica Stanley muttered under her breath, with a finger pointed to the window as Mrs. Cope walked in. Bad timing as everything in my life seemed to be when I said, “Damn…”

 

 

 

“Excuse me Mr. Masen…?” Mrs. Cope’s voice stated with pure hatred towards the school addict.

 

 

Paying attention to anything in my life wasn’t the easiest thing for me to do. At this very moment, that was plain to see when I grunted at her offensive tone and let my head fall back onto my desk. My forehead landed right in the middle of my own drool. I suppose it could have been worse if it had been my own vomit. Not that that hasn’t happened before. I pulled my head back up completely ignoring that the teacher was still looking in my direction when I clearly heard Mike make the sound, “Eww…that’s sick man…” if he thought that was sick, it was seriously going to put a wrench in that low I.Q. brain of his when I reached over to his desk and grabbed the ugliest scarf known to man and wiped my forehead clean.

 

 

I chuckled aloud when Mike about threw up right in front of me. I tried to be nice and hand it back,

 

 

“Uh, no man, you keep it. Remind me to never leave any kind of clothing of mine around you.”

 

 

“Mr. Masen, are you trying to become a nuisance in my class today? If so, you can leave now. I don’t have time to deal with...you…”

 

 

I took that upon my good graces to get up and walk out, but it wasn’t going to be that easy and I knew that. Not with Mrs. Cope. She had her way of snarling at me when she felt it necessary and sometimes she was a softy towards me and today, well, I don’t think that she could honestly decide. As usual I had to hear the same line from her and she absolutely knew that it triggered me. Between us, it was a love/hate relationship.

 

 

“Mr. Masen, I’m sure your mother wouldn’t approve of your drug induced activities if she were here…” Standing in front of me as I tried to walk out and say that, didn’t help her case in the slightest as I stood towering her form. My hatred filtering through in one heartbeat…My teeth seethed a deep menacing sound as I inhaled. Mrs. Cope’s limbs frantically shook, almost violently as I was sure my eyes burned with hostility.

 

 

“The lack of miscommunication between us about the woman who gave birth to me is clearly lacking. You knew her well, correct…?”

 

 

Her eyes fell to her feet as she whispered, attempting to thwart the answer. Embarrassment covered her cheek bones. No one that knew her back then wanted to admit to knowing her. I just wanted her to admit it, right to my face. I began to lose my patience. I was positive that I hadn’t blinked once while I waited for her response. I could hear the other students rustling behind me. My muscles constricted, the burn intensified the longer I stood there and finally I had had enough. I closed the distance slightly and said,

 

 

“Say it…”

 

 

“S-a-y it…”

 

 

“Yes…” She whimpered in defeat.

 

 

“Then tell me Mrs. Cope, who is more at fault here. My addicted way or the woman who gave birth to me only to leave me inside a gas station as she stared right into the camera and walked out of my life at the ripe age of two? Care to give your answer? I’m guessing about right now, she’s completely unaware of my existence, so spare me the mother speech because you and I both know that I don’t have one.”

 

 

Small town people knew small town gossip and my mother was number one on their list even after all of these years. For years just a simple walk uptown condemned me to their glares and covered mouths whispering, “That’s Liza’s boy. It’s a shame. She should’ve never had a kid and she knows it…”

 

 

I wasted away for years trying to figure out what I did so wrong that she didn’t love me anymore, but as I grew, my hatred for her grew as well and I finally reached a significant point of no return. I stormed out of the classroom only to have Mrs. Cope follow behind,

 

 

“Edward, please stop…”

 

 

I paused believing that these were going to be the words that I anticipated I would hear. I was on my last leg in this school and they couldn’t wait to find a reason to do so,

 

 

“Edward…I…understand how you feel, but…”

 

 

I turned on my heels, heading in her direction, “Explain to me how you could possibly understand?”

 

 

Her shoulders tensed as she began wringing her hands together to keep mildly calm, “You’re right, I couldn’t possibly understand how you feel, but you have to realize that the majority of this town helped take care of you when she left and many of us worry about you. Yes, it may be true that some of us are past the point of trying to help you and you haven’t given us any leeway to help us believe that you will change. We’re at our ends Edward. You won’t let anyone in to help you…”

 

 

“I didn’t ask for help Mrs. Cope. I don’t need and I don’t want it. It’s best if all of you leave me alone. Tell me now if this is your way of telling me I am officially kicked out of this school?” I knew my eyes were dancing on the possibility; a half crocked smile began to slowly stretch.

 

 

“No Edward, you can go, but I will check to see if you made it to your next class. Don’t give them the satisfaction, please. I would like to see you graduate with your peers.”

 

 

I was passed this conversation. My thoughts were already out the doors and off of school property with a smoke slowly burning while I inhaled deeply. I looked down at her and part of me didn’t want to be this way with her because in all honesty, she was the only teacher that gave a damn. Playing the mother card just wasn’t the smartest thing for her to do and she knew it. I smiled my smooth crooked smile as I said,

 

 

“I’ll see what I can do…” her eyes dropped with heaviness as I walked backwards still eying her,

 

 

“Edward, please…”

 

 

“No worries Mrs. Cope, you know me, I can’t help but mess with you. Going out for a quick smoke to calm down and I will make it back to my next class on time.”

 

 

“Edward, just a cancer stick, right…Nothing else.”

 

 

“Give me more credit than that, would’ya?”

 

 

“I would love to, but unfortunately you always manage to prove me wrong.”

 

 

“Maybe I wanna be a nice guy for a change…”

 

 

“If the heavens are listening maybe they’ll keep you that way…”

 

 

“See ya, Mrs. Cope…” I was still walking backwards as she opened the classroom door to walk back in. Right before I turned completely, my body collided with another and my temper flew,

 

 

“You wanna watch where the hell…” I lost all the air I had in me like someone shoved a vacuum in my throat and sucked it all out. She was…stunning. The first time today my drool was from passing out on my desk because I drank too much vodka before class, but this time, it was the sight of absolute perfection that I had ever witnessed with my own eyes. My heart pounded and for the first time in the history of my existence, it didn’t hurt to breathe. Clarity pulled the clouds from my mind, the stormy seas that tried their best to throw me right up against a wall of water and drown me turned calm. I was immediately uncomfortable in my own skin. I had never felt this…this…clean inside and out. Drugs and alcohol didn’t have anything on my new addiction to this girl that was an unknown. I knew I wasted my time even contemplating that I had a chance with her. Sure the pretty ones was said to fall for the bad boy image, but I was way beyond that generic term. I was literally ‘The bad boy’.

 

 

She smiled up at me with those eyes that were partly amber and partly deep brown. It was a strange mix, but I welcomed the poison that calmed my center as I looked into them. I wanted to speak, but something stopped me. The feeling I had is what did me in. I abolished all my senses from feeling any kind of emotion years ago and I was doing a great job of it until…now. No…I can’t allow anyone in…All emotion left me in an instant. I began to walk away without a word when she spoke and I swear her soft seductive voice made my body rigid with relentless pain, the kind every guy begs to have. I stopped where I stood with my eyes closed trying to will it away, but she spoke again,

 

 

“You should try to make a better impression next time. This time I’ll forgive you, but now you have to make it up to me.”

 

 

Did I ever want to make it up to her, but I knew better. She didn’t know it yet, but she would. No way was I gonna let her get caught up in this mess I call myself. Besides, she was out of my league as it was. When she heard what the entire school would say about me, she would be too scared to look in my direction come the end of the day. Again, I walked away or tried before I was hit by a brick wall of a guy.

 

 

“I suggest you treat my sister with some respect.”

 

 

Oh hell…I had no plans on fighting a guy that looked like the Hulk. I sighed heavily and let my head fall forward exasperated, “Look man, I wasn’t trying to disrespect anyone. I just don’t talk much.”

 

 

The Hulk crossed his arms with his brows furrowed together and said, “I’ll ask you once to introduce yourself like a man. Bells is waiting patiently…”

 

 

Bells…I have a name…I have the golden ticket. Anyone want to validate it? I couldn’t believe it but just by hearing her name, a smile creased my face and it hurt badly. I couldn’t remember when I smiled last. The only problem with my smile is that it was accidentally directed to The Hulk.

 

 

“Hey dirt bag, I don’t play on that side of the fence…”

 

 

“Oh sorry, I wasn’t trying to insinuate…”

 

 

“Emmy, leave him be. You’re going to scare the first person that I’ve met here…”

 

 

And there she went speaking in tongues that flipped every light on inside of me. Wait…Did I just hear her right? Emmy…? I might have to consider that I had lost a few brain cells in my drug induced states in the past for what I was so stupidly about to say,

 

 

I cocked an eyebrow towards The Hulk and said, “Are you sure you don’t play on the other side of the fence, Emmy?” before I even came close to finishing that, I jumped back a few steps in case I had to dart off into a full run. Emmy heaved in a breath and his amber eyes tinged with black as his temper rose. Not a smart idea on my part to play with fire. A few more steps back wouldn’t hurt…

 

 

The goddess of all goddesses stood between us quickly, her hand on his chest as she looked back at me with daggers piercing my soul, I swear,

 

 

“That was uncalled for. A word to the wise; pushing EMMETT like that will only get you killed. I’m sorry Emmett for saying that here. I didn’t mean it. Try to calm yourself before someone gets hurt…” she was directing that last part to my apparent incoherent brain that should’ve known better to say it in the first place. I caused enough trouble with the new kids on the block, Ah I had to laugh at that. It was cheesy, yes, but still funny. I didn’t want them to hate the place already before meeting the good kids here. It was just their bad luck they ran into me first was all. I lowered my head slightly as I looked at…Emmett and said,

 

 

“Sorry man, I shouldn’t have said that. Don’t mind me. You’ll get used to ignoring me soon enough anyway. And Bells…”Wow did that sound so so good rolling off of my lips.

 

 

“Okay so neither of us should have stated our nicknames for each other…My name isn’t Bells, its Bella…Sorry for the confusion…”

 

 

“Okay…Bella…” that was even more amazing... “Sorry I was such a…Uh, It’s nice to meet you Bella, I’m…Edward…”

 

 

“Finally I get a name…Nice to meet you too Edward. That name suits you, you know. It has a nice ring to it…”

 

 

I wasn’t sure what to say, but I didn’t have the chance because The Hulk or Emmett interrupted and I was actually happy he did.

 

 

“Bells, we’re already late for two classes, we need to go. Besides, I think we wasted enough time with this puke…”

 

 

“Sorry Edward, you made a bad impression on him way too fast, it’s going to take forever for you to get on his good side now, but give him time, he’ll come around. We do need to go though... So maybe I’ll see you around…?”

 

 

Her smile and voice and eyes oh hell, everything about her put me in a spell. One that  I didn't want to find the antidote too. As I thought again though, it wasn’t a good idea so I said the truth even though it cut deep already,

 

 

“Look, hanging around me will only guarantee trouble so maybe it’s best that we don’t…do this…”

 

 

"Yeah, I like his plan.” her brother agreed.

 

 

“I…see…” How I was supposed to understand what that meant exactly, I have no idea. The look in her eyes told me she didn’t like it. Well that made two of us

 

 

“Well, we should get going Emmy…I mean Emmett…”

 

 

Bella and Emmett walked passed me without another word spoken and I was relieved and depressed all at the same time. It was best though. She would only get hurt in the end. I walked the rest of the way out of the school and down the road a ways to smoke. My time became severely limited now that I ran into those two. So I had to hurry to make it to the next class. I stood there against a wet tree and couldn’t get her image out of my head.

 

 

A/N: Okay so what's the verdict everyone? So everyone knows, I just wrote this out and haven't edited a single thing so please take it as it is for now. I really need to know whether I should keep it or throw it. D

Views: 2336

Replies to This Discussion

Hey Chris,

 

I am so sorry for not replying back sooner. FS is next in line to be updated so I hope you will enjoy it.

 

LOL, yeah it's hard sometimes to go from one story and then go to another in the same day. I think I have a love/hate relationship with Edward when it comes to my stories, lol.

 

I would love to know more of your thoughts on this story. Please do when you have a chance. Since I am back, I have to get back to your story before I get way behind. I hate when I do that. I promise to pick up where I stopped.

 

D

Deliah,

you need update this! and soon!!

Hi XD,

 

Updating tonight. I know it's late, but this is the best time for me to do so. I hope you enjoy it.

 

D

love it, keep me posted!!!!! Also like it that you put Emment as Bella brother. good job.

Hi Tikki,

 

Thanks! It seemed natural to have Emmett as her brother. I am so happy that everyone like the pairing of them.

 

D

Love it!!! Can't wait to read more!!!

Hi Rachel,

 

Thanks!

 

D

Love it keep me updated!!!

Hi Ashley,

 

Thanks! I will. Going to post tonight.

 

D

 

 

                                                                               Addicted

                                                                            Chapter Three

                                                                               Edward

 

 

 

I loved the feeling of being disconnected from the rest of the world. Leaning on the hood of a broken-down vehicle that Jake was supposed to fix for extra cash with eyes closed, everything just felt really… fuzzy, but I loved it. I could hear Jake tinkering with some tools in the corner of the garage while he sang a tune that didn’t fit his description at all. Once he hit the soprano pitch my entire body froze in pain from the sound of it. I rolled my head to the side and shot my eyelids open at him.

 

 

“Hey man, you wanna stop that? You sound like a hyena that went schizoid.”

 

 

Jake raised his arms while shrugging his shoulders as if he thought he sounded good. I had to be the unfortunate one to let him know that, no, it wasn’t good at all. I closed my eyes remembering the screeching that came from him and it about twisted my insides in a grotesque sort of way. I rubbed the scruff that had begun to claim my jaw as I said “No man, not good at all.” Jake smiled and gave me that devious look of his which told me he was about to take that note to that song one notch higher, so I braced my hands over my ears to save them from the torture as he bellowed it out even louder, and then finally he realized he couldn’t sing when his windpipe cut him off completely as he grabbed his throat.

 

 

“I told you.”

 

 

“Yeah, yeah, look man, I smoked way too much. I’m gonna take a nap, besides I think I’m getting a really bad fever. What are you going to do?”

 

 

I tapped my finger against my right leg that was lifted enough to support my weight as I thought “Hmm, I might go take a walk in the woods or something. Not much else to do. Yeah, the sounds of nature would do me good. See ya about dinner time. Oh and I’m taking what’s left with me.”

 

 

“Go ahead man, I don’t think I should be smoking anymore anyways. Something is really off. I think I caught what Sam had and that can’t be a good thing. He’s been out of it for a while now.”

 

 

I nodded, remembering what Billy had said a week ago when he was on the phone with someone.

 

 

“It should pass soon enough. This fever of his is only a product of what has shown back on our door step and you know that.” He paused as he listened on the other line and then said, “Hmmm, I haven’t run into any of them yet, but I’m guessing there is more than just one…”

 

 

I never made it a policy of mine to eavesdrop on Billy’s calls, considering he took me in when no one would, but that innocent call turned into one that had me puzzled. I wanted to ask him what the significance was to the ‘more than just one…’ comment, but I decided that I shouldn’t, because it would just fall back on me for listening in on him.

 

 

I lifted my lazy bum off of the decrepit car and waved in Jake’s direction as he left the garage to go inside. I followed suit, but we parted our ways once outside. I went directly to the woods, the only place I knew I could be alone for the most part besides the animals of course.

 

 

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                                         This pic is what I see when Edward is walking down the path...

 

                                           

       

The path was clouded with a light mist to match the way my eyes were now viewing everything. I was so happy that I brought more with me. This was the best way to see nature I thought, a clear understanding of nature filtered through me. I never truly appreciated it except in this way. I pulled out the white long stem and lit it with my cheap Bic lighter and inhaled deeply as I closed my eyes leaning against a tree. I wasn’t ready to exhale just yet, but the sound of conversation coming from the direction of the path that I was going to go, led me to exhale quickly and pull myself into the woods and off of the path. I quickly maneuvered around some small trees until I found a thick giant standing alone and I hid behind it, waiting for them to pass.

 

 

It was an elderly couple doing simple chit chatting. The grey-haired man stood tall and thin, so thin his knees seemed to pop out a bit further than they should have. Skeletal was the description that fit him best. The woman had a round figure, but not out of shape. Her brisk walk carried her at the same pace as her companion. Suddenly, the older man stopped…

 

 

Great! I so hoped they weren’t planning on staying put for long… I rolled my eyes in an attempt not to say something verbally, and then I knew I was busted when the old man said as he sniffed the air,

 

 

“Martha, do you smell that?”

 

 

I tilted my head slightly to look at them a bit better as Martha also sniffed the air, her already wrinkled nose doing double time.

 

 

“Oh no…!” Martha rested her hands atop her waist line as she scoured the side of the forest that I was in. “I know you little devils are out there somewhere. Get out of here before I call the law,” she declared.

 

 

The old man tried to reason with her stubbornness. “Martha, let’s just keep walking. You don’t know what kind of mindset they have right now and we’re quite defenseless out here alone.”

 

 

With those last words, you could see the revelation on her face. Anger and shock and finally an air of worry settled on her face. Nothing else came from her as she wrapped her arm around the old man’s and kept walking. I couldn’t have been happier, but to stay on the safe side, it was best to stay off the path, so I walked deeper into the woods to find a place to get solace.

 

 

I walked a good mile in when I found the river. I sat down and reveled in the sound of the water moving so peacefully. I didn’t say a word, I just breathed slowly and laid back, only to see nothing but trees blocking my view of the sky. I didn’t appreciate the stolen view, but I did enjoy the quietness the space had given me until I heard something moving on the other side of the river. If it was a bear, I was happy it was on the other side. I pulled myself up to look and see what it was, but it was behind the trees, moving fast. I could hear the cracking of twigs snap loudly and then…

 

 

The hulk…? Emmett…? His body froze as he looked over at me. It froze in a manner like he was ready to pounce on me, but that wasn’t what freaked me out. It was his eyes, his eyes were full of confusion and excitement, and pure fury followed last. Suddenly I felt like the smaller fish here, and I didn’t like it at all. Just like the bear I thought he was, I was glad he was on the other side. To be honest, I think I’d rather fight the bear. I stood slowly as I called out to him, trying my best to be friendly, but I knew my own confusion laced itself in my features. “Hey Emmett, how’s it going?”

 

 

The moment I spoke, he began to walk closer to the edge of the river bank, and with that came a strange lust in his eyes, but not the kind I would’ve made fun of about being on the other side of the fence kind of way. My adrenaline kicked into high gear with fear, fear of not understanding his intentions towards me and as usual, I stepped back a couple of feet. Annoyance couldn’t quite cover how taking steps backwards every time this guy was around gnawed at my patience. Emmett growled, literally growled at me, and the perspiration began to fall down my face. I could feel it, the fear, the fear of if I would make it out of here alive. I knew then that this guy was completely serious, and that scared the hell out of me. What the hell did he plan on doing?

 

 

Another few steps back and I was ready to bolt out of there, but all of a sudden, he looked to his left and back at me, even more frustrated than he was before. One last growl in my direction, and he quickly fell back behind the tree line on his side and disappeared.

 

 

I just stood there speechless and wondered if all that was my imagination due to the influence I was under, but I quickly stomped on that idea when I heard a familiar and beautiful voice from behind me.

 

 

“How many chances do you think you have before Emmett tears your head off?”

 

 

At first I didn’t catch what she said because I was astounded by her soft tone that rattled every part of me. She made all of my senses, even the ones I had no clue that I had, come alive. When it finally registered what she said, I was agitated. It’s the forest. No one has claim that I knew of. I could be here just as they were. I pulled myself together and said,

 

 

“Why would he want to do that? I did nothing to him. I can be here just the same as the both of you.” That’s right Eddie boy, stand your ground. I wanted to look strong in front of her and proud, but my plan was foiled when she sighed heavily and her eyes dropped to the ground. What do I do? Do I stand here like an idiot, or do I console her? I didn’t have a chance to decide that when she whispered,

 

 

“You shouldn’t be out here like this, it’s not safe.”

 

 

I crossed my arms again, back in prove-my-point-save-my-pride mode and retorted, “I could say the same for you as well, and also I think I’ve lived here long enough to know what’s safe and what’s not.”

 

 

Bella covered her mouth as she laughed at me. My pride wasn’t feeling any stronger. Like a boy on the playground, I raised my voice as I asked, “What’s so funny?” My brows narrowed towards her as I waited for her to respond back with an answer. Bella finally stopped with the laughter and said,

 

 

“It’s nothing. You’re right, you have-lived here long enough to know I guess, but I still think you should use precautionary measures before coming this deep in alone.”

 

 

“You’re out here alone. What - you think you can defend yourself out here better than I can?”

 

 

“This is not going as well as I thought. Look, I’m not out here alone, you saw Emmett and to ease your sudden fear of breaking your pride, no, I don’t believe that I can defend myself any better than you can.”

 

 

“Any better…?” She asked. I was furious. “I’m not saying a woman can’t do what a man can, but give me more than that.”

 

 

Bella placed her work-of-art hands on her perfect framed waist and sighed again as she looked at me. “Can we-just start over please. Where we’re going now isn’t going to end well, and I’d rather not do that?”

 

 

I shrugged my shoulders and ran my hand through my hair. “Yeah-sure, I guess.”

 

 

She stood tall, proud of herself as she smiled, and that smile shouldn’t be allowed. It should be banned for what it did to my body. She should be fined every time she did it. I suppose my inner turmoil had shown on the outside because she asked me what was wrong.

 

 

Again one of my hands found their way to my hair, something I did when I was flustered with myself. “Nothing really, it’s just that, well, you have a nice smile…” She looked perplexed at my admission, and now she had crossed her own arms in front of her.

 

 

“So, my smile makes you uncomfortable?”

 

 

“What-no, why would you say that?” I had resorted to fidgeting with the seam to my jeans. It only made me uncomfortable because I wanted nothing more than to have her lips on mine. How I could instantly feel this way towards a complete stranger was beyond me.

 

 

“Your reaction to my smile wasn’t one of pleasure. You looked conflicted by it.”

 

 

“It’s nothing. I was just distracted by how nice it was is all.”

 

 

Bella made an O-shape with no sound behind it as yet another unsuspecting smile crossed her face without thought. “You really should stop doing that around me…” Yes, I knew I was an idiot, but it had to be said before I said or did something that would get me killed by her brother. That raised my attention back to her psycho brother, and I brought it up before she could ask me why I said she should stop smiling.

 

 

“So why did your brother look like he was ready to jump the distance of the river to kill me?”

 

 

She looked a little frustrated by the question, but quickly reeled it in. “He’s just- overprotective I guess. He knew I was on this side and seeing you over here too didn’t help matters at all.”

 

 

“So maybe I should get your number to uh, call ahead every time I want to go somewhere to make sure you’re not going to the same place. That way he won’t want to kill me.” Can I please drown myself now for my stupid rendition of the worst pick-up line ever?

 

 

This time Bella hid her smile, something I was thankful for and hurt by. I wanted to see it again so that I could burn it to memory, but what it did to me was nothing short of agony in the best of ways.

 

 

“That is an odd way of asking for my number, but I enjoyed it. I don’t think it would be healthy for you to have it right now, though. You know, with Emmett the way he is. You need time to grow on him. Once he accepts you, you’ll be fine, but so far, you’re the one who has cheated the deck, and until you can show him that you’re playing with a full deck, I’m afraid that I cannot give it to you. You do understand, right?”

 

 

The tenderness in her eyes; she had no idea that I would do and say whatever she wanted when she looked at me like that. The image in my mind at that moment was pure offering, offering her every bit of me; I walked in front of her and kneeled, offering her my soul if that was what she chose to need or want…

 

 

“Edward, are you alright?”

 

 

My head shot up so fast that it cracked as I looked at her in a daze. So stupid- so stupidOut of all the times I’ve been around girls, I pick this time to look like a complete and utter moron? Bella wasn’t just a girl though; she was a woman, to me anyway. Something in her eyes told me she had an old soul and I was far from that. Again, I brushed my fingers through my hair as I tried to salvage this conversation and as I was about to speak again, she spoke first,

 

 

“Um, since my smile bothers you somehow, can I just say that I truly wish you would stop running your fingers through your hair because that-bothers me…” She said whispery as she tugged her bottom lip with her teeth.

 

 

I literally heard the grunt rumble in my throat as I watched helplessly while her natural rosy lips ignited the fire inside of me even more. I could feel the heat rise to my eyes. I loved this woman! I lusted for her, internally I begged for mercy, I knew what I wanted and couldn’t have, but that didn’t stop me from letting her know with one glance how much I wanted her. Subtlety just wasn’t my thing. Soon enough, curiosity would kill me and by that I mean Emmett. I was completely positive that I couldn’t stay away from this jewel in the middle of the forest for long. I wanted to say something, but I couldn’t form a sentence to save my life and when I tried my throat clammed up, dry as a bone. As if she understood my distress, she said as her arms wrapped around her own waist,

 

 

“I uh should get headed back…”

 

 

She kept speaking in this whispered tone that begged to feel her breath against my skin as she spoke. I had never tried so hard to refrain myself before, but I had to. I didn’t want her to think I was an animal so I put my hands inside the pockets of my jeans and lowered my head. I didn’t want her to go, but I had no other choice in the matter, so I shrugged my shoulders and smiled up at her and said,

 

 

“Sure, I understand. I guess I’ll see you around then…?”

 

 

“Of course… Oh and, you should really stop smoking that stuff. It isn’t good for you.”

 

 

I laughed lightly and said, “I’ll have to get back to you on that,” as I clicked the top of my shoe against a small rock.

 

 

Bella gave me this overall analytical look that made me feel as though I was under a trance; a trance that I welcomed. She wanted me to quit the one thing that made me feel like-me, but would I or could I-for her? For her…? I could never have someone like her so why try.

 

 

We stood there for so long without a word spoken that it became uncomfortable, only because I wanted to do more than just look at her. I wanted to inhale her, taste her and…

 

 

“Edward, have a good evening…”

 

 

“Oh uh, yeah, you too…Goodbye Bella…” Oh that hurt in my chest to hear those particular words fall from my lips.

 

 

She smiled one last time as she turned and walked away. I swear my heart shattered when her flawless form disappeared from my sight. Bella would be the death of me, that I was sure of…

 

 

I just wanted everyone to know that I thought that Bella and Edward needed some strange alone time, lol. Just in case anyone wondered.

 

D

Hi Delilah,

good to have you back.

I liked the chapter you managed to capture Edward's awkwardness when talking to Bella. It reminded me of Bella's trouble speaking to Edward in the first bits of Twilight.

Do vampires smoke ever?

"Bella would be the death of me" Now that is going to come up again I think.

Best wishes

Chris

 

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