The Twilight Saga



Binary Star

The choice between past and present.




How could this be? Was the universe playing some sick, twisted game with me, trying to test the many ways a heart could be scattered and still be expected to keep beating?

For two years I had been a living dead, walking through life with no hope, no purpose, no desire to go anywhere but back.

And now? When I had finally began to take careful steps forward, to explore the world outside my isolated personal hell that I was living, Life decided to throw this my way?

Yes, someone was indeed playing a sick game, and I was the main character.





Chapter One

Eyes of gold





Why on earth didn’t I ever remember to change that stupid signal? It sounded like a fire alarm gone wild rather than a regular alarm clock, making me wake up on the wrong side every morning. Yet, somehow I managed to forget to change the signal as soon as I got out of bed. I was embarrassed to admit that I had been waking up to that horrible noise for almost a year now. Sometimes change takes time.

If it happens at all that is.


But this day was different, because today I was not just going getting up, dress, choke down a glass of juice and leave for work like I had done almost every morning for a year. No, my job at the small café just around the corner from my apartment was now somewhere I only worked on weekends.

Today, I was starting school again.


I didn’t know how I felt about it, probably indifferent like I did about most things now days. There was no purpose; it just needed to be done for the sake of it.


So I walked over to my drawer to find something to wear on this first day of ‘what ever the reason’, looking for clothes that would help me melt into the background, letting me avoid being seen or spoken with what so ever.

As I was digging through shirts, all having either too much colour or in other ways being simply wrong for the ‘melting into background’ task, my eyes for a moment rested on the white, long sleeved t-shirt I had worn the last time I had started a new school. I didn’t even have time to catch myself before my mind was throwing images at me. Memories, usually stocked safely away in the back of my head, where now surfacing and blocking everything else out.


Sitting in the cafeteria, trying to make small talk with strangers; seeing Him sitting in the other end of the room, feeling His eyes on me; walking into class to find that the only seat open was next to Him; feeling a sort of electricity from His body; meeting His murderous glare…


I felt like someone had slapped me in the face. Most days I was able to almost keep Him out of my thoughts all together. It had taken some time, for the first year after he had left, He was always in my mind, overshadowing everything else.

Now, He only hunted my dreams at night. There was no way to stop that, and I still woke up screaming in the middle of the night, clutching my hands to my chest and remembering that I was alone, still.


I suppose you could say I had eventually cut off my feelings for everything, it all hurt too much and I was afraid that if I could feel again then it would overwhelm me and I was sure my body would physically drown in it all. So I put up walls around me, I made them high and impenetrable so that no one would ever have a chance to hurt me like that again.

It hadn’t been just a heart break, it had been an complete body and soul break down, and I was only now starting to feel like I was getting some balance back into my life.


For a year I had convinced myself that I couldn’t leave Forks. I had stayed home after I graduated and just filled time with dreaming that he would come back.

Jacob had been a good help, he had been able to put some of the pieces of me back in place but he could never really heal me. When he had met Caroline the first summer after Edward had left I had known that it was time for me to move on as well. I couldn’t linger there anymore, waiting for someone who would never come back for me. Someone who didn’t even love me.

So I moved. I took all my things and travelled to Rochester, where I got a job at a coffee shop. For a year I worked there, and though I liked it very much I knew I needed to get a real education. So I applied for Rochester college, and thanks to my impeccable grades – a result of having nothing else in my life but school work for my last year in Forks – I got in.


I had set up a goal for myself, I needed something to work for, something to keep me motivated. And I knew the second the thought came to me that it was right choice; I would be a teacher. English teacher, since that had always been my favorite subject.


The walk from my apartment to school wasn’t long, just 15 minutes if I kept up a normal pace. When the building came into view I felt the first surge of nervousness. New school, new people, new friendships. Was I ready?


In the end, I discovered how much stronger and confident I was starting a new school this time around. Before I knew it, I had gotten my schedule and all the other necessary papers and was walking to B13, where my first class would be.

English literature, I had read with a smile. Good start. 



I found the classroom easily, following a line of students all looking a bit confused and nervous. Freshmen’s, just like me.


We settled into our seats, I chose the one in the second row, next to a girl with long blonde hair and who didn’t look quite as nervous as the rest.

She smiled at me when I sat down, and extended a hand. I was a bit shocked but took it quickly.


“Hi, I’m Anna. I just moved here from Santa Monica. What’s your name?”


Santa Monica, I thought. That would explain her golden sun kissed skin.


“I’m Bella Swan. I’ve lived here for about a year but I’m from small town in Washington originally.”


“Oh, that’s cool, then you know all the good places to go during the weekends, right?”


She smiled a friendly smile at me, and before I got a chance to admit that I really had no clue where people went, the door opened and the teacher walked in.


My heart stopped beating and my breath caught when I took in his appearance.

He was long, with a perfectly lean and muscled body, brown hair, beautiful cheekbones and a memorizing smile on his lips.

All that made for an altogether gorgeous man. Just that those were not the features that had made my heart stop.


This man was pale, he moved with the same grace I had only seen one person do before and his eyes were golden butterscotch.


I didn’t have to look at him twice to know.

This man was a vampire.






An explanation to the name?


A binary star is a star system consisting of two stars orbiting around their common centre of mass. The brighter star is called the primary and the other is its companion star, comes or secondary.


I thought it was perfect; Bella being the centre and Derek and Edward the stars around her.

Yeah, I love to come up with names with a “space theme” ;)


Tags: Bella, Binary, Edward, Moon, New, Star

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Replies to This Discussion

love the notes
just like author said dont hate me what i will cause like bella choose because she knows that it was she wanted and made her happy to all edward team here dont hate me but i think iwill agree on this chapter lol guys
love it so mmuch what will happen if derek knows about edward
why r u doing this to us??!!!!! this is PURE TORTURE *pouts* u can get the whole volturi guard and they wouldn't be enough .....LOL.....

anyways i luuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuved it .....update reallyyyyyyyyyyy sooon plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
*giggles* XOXOXO
seriously SCREW DEREK!! haha LOVEEE ur storyyy! haha cant wait for more...pleaseeeeeee keep me updated! :D
plz write more i really love it i think she should be with both but that would be gross
i mean who would kiss someone then kiss another ...... ?
do you get it mixed suliva
LOved it write more soon!!!!
NEW READER ALERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just read your story and i love it!!!!!!!!!!! Plz keep me updated and by the way im team Derek so far!!!!!!!!!! lol
Chapter eleven
Someone wicked this way comes…

She took my heart, I think she took my soul
With the moon I run
Far from the carnage of the fiery sun

Driven by the strangled vein
Showing no mercy I do it again
Open up your eye
You keep on crying, baby
I’ll bleed you dry
The skies are blinking at me
I see a storm bubbling up from the sea

And it's coming closer
And it's coming closer

You, shimmy shook my bone
Leaving me stranded all in love on my own
What do you think of me
Where am I now? Baby where do I sleep
Feel so good but I'm old,
2000 years of chasing taking its toll

Edwards point of view.

“I choose him, Edward, I choose Derek.”

She looked up and met my eyes. I didn’t know if I was even there anymore, I felt like I was disappearing, like whatever force that kept me here had now let go and that I was now falling down into darkness, not knowing where I would be once I hit the ground. For the first time in my life, I felt weak, my legs wouldn’t support me anymore and I staggered backwards until I hit the wall. My knees gave out and I found myself sitting on the floor, still looking into those eyes.

She couldn’t have meant it, her words couldn’t be true. She must be lying to me for some reason, this couldn’t be, it was impossible. She was my Bella.

But staring into her soulful brown eyes, I knew that she had spoken the truth. I felt like I could see into them for miles and miles, but nowhere in them could I find a contradiction to her words. I had known I wouldn’t find it after what she had told me about what I did to her when I left, but like a dying man searching the desert for a drop of water to survive, I kept looking.

The tears were streaming down her face, but she did not take it back. Her silence pierced through me and made my dead heart ache in a way I hadn’t felt for 92 years. The pain reminded me of my transformation, when my body was drowning in the agonizing ache as my heart stopped beating. Only, this pain was worse.

I pulled my knees up to my chest, trying to hold myself together as the pain ripped through me and tore every part of my into pieces. What I had felt for the last two and a half years when I was away from her was increased a million times, because a small part of me had held on to the belief that I would one day return and that we would be together again.
That part was dying now, slowly, as our eyes held and I saw just how much I had destroyed her when I left. I gasped as I took in the extent of what I had done, how the consequences of my decision that black day now served to pull me under, burying me in the deepest part of hell.

“I am… I don’t…” I couldn’t speak, my body wouldn’t respond to me when I struggled to find the words. I clutched the sides of my head and tried to breathe throw the panic that was taking over me.

“Bella” I whispered, I didn’t know what to say, I didn’t have the words to take away the pain or the agony. I was so lost in my own personal hell that at first I didn’t even realize that she was by my side. And then the sensation of her touch broke through, and my body felt lifeless as she pulled me to her, tucking my head in so it was resting on her chest.

I lay like that for what felt like an eternity, numbness taking over all my senses as I processed what had just happened. Bella had chosen to be with him. She didn’t want me.
The realization made the aching grow stronger again, and I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to fight it. I told myself that I should have expected this, from the moment I saw her that first day and heard his thoughts, I should have known. What did I think would happen? That I just appeared and everything I had done to her would go away? That she would magically heal just by my presence?

But even if I had expected this outcome, nothing could have prepared me for the pain that came with it.

I felt Bella’s teardrops hitting my hair, she had her cheek rested against my head, and her ragged breathing slowed down in the time we sat there. She traced patterns with her fingers on my back, and her other hand was hugging me to her so fiercely that it would have injured a human.

This was a bittersweet torture, as the sensation of being in her arms was tainted with the smell of him coming off her shirt. I tried to ignore that, cutting of my breathing and concentrating on the way her chest moved while she breathed.

I fell into the comforting numbness, embracing it as it soothed the pain.

What brought me back again after hours of sitting there, leaning my head against her chest, was the sound of her heartbeats. Or rather, the realization that there was something worth living through the pain for. As that thought began to make itself known in my head, the pain stepped down, allowing for this new feeling that didn’t hurt as much to take its place.

I grasped at it, willing for anything to erase the ache.

Bella was alive, I told myself. And as long as she was alive, I wouldn’t let her go.

I could actually feel it as my insides were put back into place, this new thought was healing me and giving me the hope I so desperately craved.

All though I hated myself for what I had done, and would never be able to forgive myself, I decided in that moment that I wouldn’t give her up. I would stay and fight, because there was no other way for me, no other way that I could stay on this earth if I wasn’t with her.
My mind kept reminding me that I didn’t deserve her after what I did, and that I should let her be happy, but a bigger part of me was too selfish to care, and most importantly; my heart knew that we belonged together, that I had been born to this world for one reason, and that reason was to be with Isabella Swan.

And so my mind was made up, I would spend the rest of eternity trying to get her back if I had to, because it was all I could ever do. Leaving her was impossible, that option didn’t even exist.

Even though I had already decided, I thought it was best to ask Bella how she felt. Trying not to imagine the pain I would feel if she was to say yes, I asked her if she wanted me to leave.

When she told me how she wanted me to stay and that she felt selfish for telling me that she couldn’t survive if I left her, what little doubt I had before disappeared. I was going to stay, and I was going to be here for her, no matter what.

I shifted her so that she was on my lap instead, and held her close to me to sooth her crying. I let my lips touch her hair, and then she was hugging herself to me just as tight as she had held me before. Like she never wanted to let go.

“I’ll stay” I told her, and her crying ceased some, she was waiting for what I was going to say. “I won’t leave you again, and I will be whatever you need me to be. I can be your friend, just as long as I can be a part of your life. I’ll stay Bella, I’ll be here” I whispered softly in her ear, while I stroked her back gently.

She pulled back eventually, and met my gaze. The expression on her face made me realize that I only had a few minutes left before we would leave this room, and everything would be different. I slowly brushed the tears from her cheek, and when I saw her leaning towards me I didn’t hesitate one second before doing the same. The kiss was tender, and I could sense that she thought this could be our last kiss.

I knew that I would do everything in my power to make sure it wasn’t the last, by far. When she leaned her head back down I heard her take a deep breathe, and I believe that she was actually sniffing me. What?

Though I knew I wouldn’t change my decision to try to win her back if she told me she didn’t want me to, I still wanted her to know how I felt. Or part of how I felt anyway.

“I want you to know, that I will never give up hope Bella. I will be your friend, but you have to know that my feelings for you will never change or disappear. My heart will always belong to you.”

She didn’t answer, and I for that I was glad. That meant that I didn’t have to feel too bad about what I was doing, because she knew I wouldn’t ever stop loving her. She didn’t however, need to know that I had already come up with the first part of my ‘Win Back Bella’ plan.

I suddenly remembered Alice, and that she in that moment would see some things that she probably neither understood nor cared for to happen. I sighed, realizing that I would have to tell my family everything. I wondered briefly what they would think of my rather idiotic plan, not that their opinions really mattered, but I could probably use some help at some point.

Bella straightened up, and I knew it was late and that we needed to go. I would have wanted to stay there with her all night, but I didn’t know what she would think about that.

Knowing this was probably the last time in a while that I could get away with having my lips on her, I kissed her forehead softly. Her eyes were closed when I pulled back, and I heard her draw in a shaky breathe before she stood up.

I immediately missed the contact with her, and stood up to pull her to my chest once more. I didn’t want to let go, it felt like it would kill me if I did. She felt so perfect against me, like our bodies were made to fit together.

I couldn’t prolong the inevitable anymore, so I made a choice that meant that I could be with her a while longer. Purposely letting my lips touch her ear, I whispered to her.

“Come on, I know a few people who are dying to meet you.”

Bella nodded, and I reluctantly let go of her. It was torture to not touch her, to have her on arm length distance and not constantly have my skin in contact with her was something I would never get used to. My body missed hers as soon as I let her go, and screamed for me to hold her again. I screamed back, telling myself to be patient.

I looked down on Bella, and she seemed slightly dazed as she shook her head and tried to focus her eyes. Hmm, did I do that to her? Perhaps I had underestimated my dazzling skills? It sure would be very handy if they still worked on her…

“I’m fine. Shouldn’t we get to class though? I have history and …” She trailed off and glanced at her watch, and then a panicked expression crossed her face as she realized what the time was.

“Wow, I guess Mrs. Richardson and Mr. Duvall won’t be happy with me. Though I have never missed any of their classes before so I guess I’m not completely screwed.” She mumbled, and I couldn’t help but the chuckle at her tone.

“I think you’ll be fine, but if you want, I can talk to them and convince them that you were with me and that we had some very important business to attend to. You know how good I am with teachers, I could probably get them to give you straight A’s for the rest of the semester if I tried.” I teased, and I was amazed at how relaxed my voice was. Maybe this was going to be easier than I had thought?

I felt something soft brush my stomach and looked down to see Bella rubbing her elbow. Oh, she had apparently tried to hit me. Silly Bella…

“Thanks a lot! Do you really think I need help to get good grades? I assure you that I am very well capable of achieving those myself!” She exclaimed with a fake tone of annoyance. I saw the playfulness in her eyes and laughed at her attempts to sound serious, she had no poker face what so ever.

“Get going you brainiac, we don’t want to get locked in here over night, do we?” I said, opening the door for her and secretly hoping that she would want to stay.

“Jeez, you’re so pushy Edward” She mumbled, and I couldn’t help myself when I felt the sudden urge to actually push her a bit. My body immediately thanked me for making contact with her, and I realized that there was a way I could touch her without it looking too suspicious. Friends touched, right?

“Get used to it, friend, cause we’re going to spend a lot of time together and you’ll learn that I’m quite demanding” I laughed, secretly pleased with what I had just come up with.
“Yeah, like I didn’t know that one before” She muttered, and I saw another opportunity to touch her, and in a very, very tempting place. I let my hand smack her butt, snickering to myself when she let out a surprised “Oh” at my casual contact. This was going to be quite fun actually.

Deciding I might as well go all the way with the friendly behavior, I quickly picked her up and flung her over my shoulder before she could protest. She just hung there, and I laughed as I walked out of the school and onto the parking lot.

I put her down when I reached my car, and opened the passenger door for her. She looked at me a bit warily, probably surprised over how my mood had changed and how easy I seemed to have accepted her decision. Little did she know that I planned to make her mine again in a very near future.

Operation ‘Win Bella Back’ was about to begin...


He He.. So since I am a evil writer for hurting McSteamy, I can atleast be a quick evil writer, huh?

I thought we needed to hear Edward's side of this life altering chapter, since there was a reason for his a bit too friendly behavior there at the end ;) SO now the games for Bella can really begin.. Wondering how long it takes for McHottie to find out about the McNasty? Stay tuned...

Seriously, I can't keep my hands away from this story, the storyline is soooo clear to me now and I'm dying to share it with you!

PLUS, you guys are soooo amazing at commenting! I'm blown away by how involved you all are in this story, I can't tell you how happy it makes me!

Since music is the biggest trigger when I'm writing, I'm gonna start to use the lyrics for the songs that inspired the diffrent chapters in the beginning. This chapter was inspired by the wonderful, heartbreakingly beautiful song "Closer" by the gifted group Kings of Leon. If you haven't head it, check it out! or listen to it while reading this chapter, it adds to the heartbreak...

Love you!
LOL! You need to make Derek evil or something so that Bella will go back with Edward! ;)

Amazing! :)

And for once im happy to find a story where she isnt with Edward nor Jake!!!! So i want to see how Edward tries to deal with this b.c he doesnt have her love right now!!
ome! that was great! it does make it slightly better that you write so fast:) lol i clapped my hands together and squealed when i saw you had updated! i can't wait for more!! If i was Bella, i think Edikens would just need to take his shirt off to win me back ;) not that i wouldn't of chosen him to begin with! lol keep it coming Lisa and i wont throw anything at you! <3
LOL! that was great hope you write more soon.
keep me updated. :)
i cant wait for the next part. It is getting so good.hurry up a post it will you.


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