chapter 1 Nightclub Raid
Life had taken a turn for the unexpected after Edward and I broke up. He and his family had to move, and he wouldn't let me go with them. So, we had to break up. People started to talk after someone saw Dr. Carlisle Cullen eating a live moose in the middle of the woods. I still send them e-mails, but as time progresses, I do it less and less. It doesn't matter anyway. Alice is the only one who e-mails me back. I got a new life, now, without Edward, without any of them.
I applied to Dartmouth in the fall of our second break up. I was hoping I would get in so that maybe I could run into Edward. I could manipulate my way back into his life. It seems stupid now because he never checks on me. So, why go through the trouble. This departure left me in a more devastating state than the first time, when they left to protect me. This time, not only do I feel abandoned, I feel... erased.
"Bella. Bella, get down here," Marcie yelled over the loud music. Red lights flashed all over the room. Music bumped through the walls. I jumped down from the stage, and picked up the singles that didn't make it onto the stage. I walked through the jeering crowd as another girl stepped in my place, stealing the spotlight. Marcie went behind the bar counter and abused the cash register. I started to sit down at the bar. "Ah- ah- ah," Marcie said, stopping me. "Those seats are for the paying customers, not the dancers. You know the rules."
"Sorry," I muttered. I had to stand.
"Just let me get your paycheck and you're done for tonight, sweetie," she said. Marcie smiled. She became like a mother figure to me when I first started at Lexie's. She was a mother figure to all the girls. She had been in our place, so she knew what it was like. But, she gave me extra attention and kindness.
"So, how's the little mutt doing?" she asked, placing my check into the palm of my hand.
"He's great," I muttered.
"What'd I tell you about that muttering. You got to speak up, girl. Especially around here."
"Yes. I know. Sorry."
"And stop apologizing. You're always doing that , too."
"I know. Habits. Hard to break. Anyway, yeah. Mason. He's fine, as fine as a toddler could be."
I followed Marcie down the hallway, dressed in red walls. The moonlight room, where dancers were changing, doing their make-up, just getting here, or leaving. I changed into some jeans and pink shirt.
I thanked Marcie for my check and she left. I used to think she gave me special attention because I had a kid. But that's not true since i found out that half the girls who work here also have a kid or two. I was just about to walk out the door when it burst open, sending me flying into a customer's lap.
"Police! Everybody freeze!" The masked man yelled. No one listened. In fact, the complete opposite happened. Women were screaming, and people were running around like chickens with their heads cut off. Other masked cops ran into the club. I hugged my jacket and headed for the opening.
"I said freeze!" A cop yelled in my face. He bound my wrists together and led me outside into the misty night. Broken neon lights flashed everywhere I turned. Almost everyone was carded out in handcuffs.
Later, I found myself downtown in the FPD, Forks Police Department.
"Bella Swan," An officer called my name. I turned around and it was Officer Johanssen, Charlie's old partner.
"Save it. I don't need to hear any of your speeches," I warned. He backed off. I turned and found out why. Charlie was here, to my horror.
"Dad," I said.
"Don't talk to me right now," he said, voice cold. "I've got paperwork to do."
He blew me off.
Johanssen came later, and uncuffed me.
"You got lucky, kid," he said.
"I don't even know what's going on," I said. "Why did the cops flood the place?"
"Drug bust," Johanssen said. "The department got a tip off that some major drug dealing is going down at Lexie's."
"I wasn't doing any drugs," I said.
"Did I say you were doing any drugs?" he asked, rhetorically. I rolled my eyes. "Your dad wants you to follow him home."
"I was going that way, anyway."
"Don't sass me. I can still slam these cuffs back on you and throw you in a cell with those other degenerates."
"Whatever," I said. I went outside to my truck and waited for Charlie to come out. When he did, he looked my way, and his expression struck me. He looked dissappointed, for the first time ever. My heart sank down into my chest. When the door to his cruiser closed, I followed him home.
Leah Clearwater's blue beatle was in the driveway. Luckily for me she liked kids and didn't mind babysitting. Charlie was paying her pretty good, too. Mason was asleep when Charlie and I walked into the house and Leah was ready to leave.
Mason was asleep on the couch. Leah was eating popcorn and watching tv.
"Hey, Charlie. Bella."
"Hey, Leah," Charlie said, smiling vaguely.
I scooped up Mason as Charlie was saying goodbye to Leah. I could feel a poo storm coming. The door had slammed. I went back downstairs. Charlie was mad. He didn't even try to hide it like he's use to doing.
"I wasn't doing any drugs," was the first thing that came out of my mouth. "And I wasn't selling any drugs either."
"Then, why would they bring you down to the station?"
"They brought everybody down," I said, defensively. "Whatever was going on, I had nothing to do with it."
"You know how I feel about you working at that place, and to see you in the station where all my friends work, it's embarassing, Bella."
"What do you want me to do? Hide? Quit?"
"There are other jobs."
"I'm fine where I am."
"I know you're pissed at the Cullens, but this is not the way to deal with things."
"You're making a big deal out of this. This is not a cry for help. I don't need a rescue. I like where I am."
"You're a stripper, Bella!" He bucked his eyes. I glared at him, unbelievable what just slid out of his mouth.
"I'm a dancer," I said, calmly, gritting my teeth. "Learn the difference, Dad!"
I ran to my room, which was Mason's room, too. Charlie was in the door way.
"We're poor," I said. "I need to make it into Dartmouth. I need the money."
"Bella, you know I can always-"
"I don't need handouts, Dad. This is not ballet school, where you had all your friends cough up cash so Rene could make the installments."
"You could get a scholarship."
I looked him dead in the eyes, like he was nuts. "Are you insane? Nobody just gets a scholarship. They don't hand those out to just anybody."
"Why Dartmouth? Our state school is just fine. May not be as fancy, put it puts out just as many decent, smart people."
I paused. I didn't have an answer I could share, or wanted to for that matter.
"I want to show Mason that I can do anything I set my mind to," I said. "I want to go to Dartmouth. If I have to work at Lexie's for a whole year, I will. I will scrub tables and mop floors. I will do anything, but I will get into Dartmouth."
I saw a tiny drop of pride flash across Charlie's face. "Goodnight, Bella." he said. He closed the door behind him. I felt rotten. It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the whole truth, either. Dartmouth. It's where he would be. That's where I would see him, again.
Please write more! I would like to see how things turn out! (BTW: Who is Mason's father?)
thanks! you'll find out soon.=D
Chapter 2 The Visit
“Don’t do it,” Jacob said, as I was throwing clothes into a suitcase. I was ignoring his words. “Why?”
“I just need to see him,” I blurted. I took Mason from Jacob’s arms, and grabbed the suitcase in the other.
“For what reason could you possibly have to go see Edward Cullen? And where do you think you’re taking my son?” He reached for Mason back.
“Just let me go, Jacob.” I pulled away. He stood back. He looked confused and devastated, but I had to leave. I had to try.
“I just need to know something,” I said. “It doesn’t mean I don’t love you or Mason. I love you with all my heart. I will love you both forever.”
“You know, your actions are saying something completely different.”
I froze. “I know it seems that way, but it’s not what it looks like.”
He had had enough. “That’s your excuse for everything. It’s not what it seems like, it’s not what it looks like. When are you going to own up to the truth, Bella? Everything was about him, and everything still is. Mason? I know you were thinking about Edward when you named our son.”
“Jacob, please. Not now.”
He closed the door when I reached for it. “If you go, then don’t come back.”
I opened the door and walked out.
“You’re not going to keep treating Mason and me like this. You’re not!” he shouted. I tucked Mason into his car seat and I drove off. We made our flight to New Hampshire, on time. I booked us a one bedroom apartment in the Upper Valley. I put Mason to bed and the next day, we went to Dartmouth College.
None of the administration would give me Edward’s whereabouts, so I started asking around, asking the students if they knew where I could find him.
“Check Robinson Hall,” a girl told me. She stared at Mason. “He’s cute. He yours?”
“Yes,” I said, shyly.
She paused briefly. “He Edward’s?” she asked, her voice laced with curiosity. She reminded me of Jessica Stanley, the gossipy type.
“No,” I chuckled. She shrugged and gave me directions to the dorm.
I had to act like I belonged there, so that no one would ask me questions. But, mostly I just walked with my head down. Everyone did look at me strangely since I had a baby in my arms. A boy told me where I could find Edward’s room, once I had gotten pass the RA who was too busy reading a magazine to notice a stranger had walked right into the dormitory.
“Are you his girlfriend?” the boy asked.
“So, that’s why he doesn’t talk to any girls,” another boy said, coming up behind me.
“No, I’m not. Not anymore,” I said. Their faces turned gloom.
“He’s kind of a loner,” he said as we walked.
“He’s just homesick or something,” the other boy said. They stopped infront of Edward’s door. My heart pumped loudly, and I was nervous. “Well, here we are.”
“Thanks, guys,” I said. They nodded and left. People passed up and down the halls. I knocked on the door. I held my breath. Mason was playing with his pacifier. When the door opened, I looked up. It was him. My knees buckled. He looked exactly the same. Same tousled bronze hair, gold eyes, and brooding face.
He looked surprised, but then that quickly wore off, and he seemed upset. He chuckled, uncomfortably. “What are you doing here, Bella?”
“I came to see you.”
He looked at Mason, and winced.
“I know this is unexpected and I would have called first, except you don’t answer your phone-“
“We’re not together anymore,” he said sharply, cutting me off. A few people stopped and watched us.
“But that’s because you had to move. That’s the only reason, right? It’s not like you don’t still love me.”
He paused and looked at me. “It’s been two years. What do you think?”
I shuttered. “I never stopped loving you. If that feeling sticks around for that long, it must mean something.”
He closed his eyes and let me in the room. He shut the door behind me. I looked around. “So preppy. This isn’t you.”
“I have to fit in around here,” he muttered in response. He seemed more interested in Mason than me.
“Do you want to hold him?” I asked.
“No,” he said, quickly. I sat down on one of the twin beds. Then, I got back up. “It’s fine. They’re both mine.”
“You have this whole room to yourself? No roommates?”
“I’d rather be alone,” he said. For some reason, those words stung me.
“Don’t you want to ask me something?” I asked.
“Bella, I can’t read your mind?”
“I know that.”
“I don’t need to ask. Mason just told me.” He smiled, but it wasn’t a real smile, more like a smirk.
“Told you what?”
“I was right to leave. Now, you have the life you should be having with kids and a guy that loves you.”
“I’m only with him because you didn’t have the guts to follow your heart.”
He laughed under his breath. “What do you know about my heart? My heart is cold and dead. And you were never in it. We’re monsters, Bella. Only a matter of time before everyone found out. We had to leave you. That whole thing you and I had, it’s over. It wasn’t even real. You were a game, an experiment.”
“Why would I lie?”
“Because you’re trying to get rid of me.”
“I don’t want you here, but I’m not trying to get rid of you. I’m telling you what I really thought, what was really going on inside my head. I would have killed you eventually. Deep down, I knew that. Everyone knew.”
“I need to ask you something.”
“Don’t. Take Mason and get out of here. It’s not safe for him to be around me. He’s just a baby.”
“Why won’t you listen?”
“Don’t do this to yourself, Bella. Leave. Now.”
“I’m not going anywhere until I get my answer.”
“Your answer? What you want to hear or the truth? I don’t love you anymore, Bella. Is that what you want, to hear me say it out loud? There it is.”
“You’re just saying that because you want me to go. You don’t mean that. You’re protecting yourself, again. You didn’t mean it the first time and you don’t mean it now. I know you love me and we can still be together. We can find a way to make it work.”
“You’re with Jacob now and you and he have Mason. You’re right where you belong, Bella. Why can’t you see that? You don’t belong with me.”
“We had something so strong.”
“It was wrong and I never should have let it get as far as it did,” he said, looking me dead in the eyes.
“You’re pushing, pushing me away again.”
“You’re better off,”
“No, I’m not.”
“This is me protecting you... really protecting you. Now, take your son and get the hell out of my room.” He opened the door. I didn’t know what else to say. It was really over. I walked out and stopped to look at him.
“You’re stubborn as hell,” I said. My voice cracked, and the tears started coming. He turned his face away from me and closed the door on me, gently. A few people were staring at me, wondering why I was crying in the hallway, outside of Edward’s dorm room. I hugged Mason close to me and walked down the hall to the stairs.
We got in the car and went back to the apartment. I came all this way for nothing.
That night, his cruel words kept me from getting any sleep. I would hear them over and over again in my head. They were meant to hurt me. They tormented me until I cried.
The next morning, after breakfast, I packed up and left New Hampshire on the earliest flight west.
I had fallen asleep on the plane. I was back at the apartment in New Hampshire, making a lunch for Mason when the door buzzed. I opened it and it was Edward. He raised his head. “Bella, I lied. I had to lie. I need you and it hurts to stay away from you, but it’s what I have to do.”
“But, you said-“
“Forget what I said. I’m tired of hiding who I am, and my feelings. I just don’t want to get hurt.”
“I will never hurt you,” I said. He stepped into the apartment and shut the door. He tucked his hands under my thighs and lifted me up onto the dresser top. His lips brushed against my neck, very softly.
“Oh, Miss Swan,” he moaned.
“Yes,” I said. His voice had gotten higher and I was confused.
I jumped in my seat. A woman was standing over me. I looked down and she was holding Mason’s hand.
“Yes?” I asked, embarrassed.
She laughed. “This little guy sure can move. He got out of his seat while you were sleeping. You better keep a sharper eye on him.”
“Yes. Thank you. -Come on, Mason.” I picked him up and switched out our seats, so that he was by the window, making it harder for him to escape into the isle.
What is going on with Edward?
i really like it, what the heck is going on with edward! he is being such a jerk! can't wait to read your next update!
I like it
this is a wonderful story you should keep writing it.