**All characters, plots, and rights belong to Stephenie Meyer and my use of said characters is for this FanFic only. ** I’m not sure if any of you like me wanted to know how Edward was feeling during Bella’s pregnancy and I thought I would do my own little FanFic to express how I thought he would have felt…Please feel free to leave comments and constructive criticism as I wait in anticipation.
Breaking Dawn-Bella’s Pregnancy, Chapter 1, part 1
I went from being shock, furious, dismayed, and downright bewildered in what seemed like seconds; which were actually hours. I was beside myself and quite frankly I didn’t know what to feel at this particular point. Bella was pregnant; carrying the demon spawn from hell and I was its father. I guess that makes sense seeing that I’m the monster, that incubus, who allowed this to happen.
How could this have come to be?
Why didn’t Carlisle warn us of the possibility of this happening?
Why didn’t I just wait till she wasn’t human any more to take my pleasure? I felt a low growl trying to escape out of my throat but I stifled it at once realizing where we were and the facade I must maintain around mortals.
The self loathing immediately returned. I only wanted to protect Bella, yet time and time again I proved it to be futile and now she was going to have to face the biggest danger of them all, my monstrous seed. I exhaled an exasperated sigh. What a gift to bestow upon the love of my…existence. Fear quickly taking its place next (before it could consume me) I was brought back from my reverie when I notice, Bella fidgeting in her seat, out of my peripheral view. Too preoccupied with my own thoughts I really wasn’t paying much attention to Bella. Now the guilt moved in. As I turn my gaze away from the window I finally spoke…
“Bella, how are you feeling?” I tried to make my voice sound warm and loving but somehow it came out cold and distant. Bella looked up at me briefly with that pucker firmly set in between her brow and lifted her shoulders while letting out a soft sigh. Not being able to read her mind tormented me even more than usual with the added dilemma of her…her pregnancy; I sighed deeply. I was in HELL!
Not knowing what to do, I returned my gaze to the window and started my reverie again.
Bella was unusually quiet throughout this whole time and I keep eying her with side glances to see if her mood had changed. When I finally decided to stare into those chocolate brown eyes she unexpectedly stood up… I reached- out of pure reflex- to grab her hand “where are you going, love?” I asked. Was she ill or in pain? Panicked struck my face briefly. How could I help her without hurting her even more?
And then I saw it—not illness, not pain…She was angry with me. That indication was clear in the corner of her mouth and the little cresses of her eyes. What did I do? What did I say? How have I offended her? We had barely spoken since leaving the beach house on Isle Esme.
It had to be something that happened before we left.
While one part of my brain ponder my actions that would caused this fragile woman pain ….another part remembered a second later that I was waiting for her answer. “Bella?” I asked again. She turned slight to face me and I flinched when I noticed her eyes lids were filled to the brim with tears…as she said “I’m going to the ladies room.” I released her hand at once and watch my love stagger away from me. I felt my face fall into a grimace at once.
My Bella was in pain and I didn’t know why. I instantly ran through the last few conversations she and I had thru my mind and quickly realized what it was that unsettled her.
As I recalled those ill fated words; they flooded me with such trepidation … I felt like I was drowning. “Don’t be afraid….You’ll be fine. Carlisle will be ready when we get there…” I said to her. “We’re going to get that thing out before it can hurt any part of you. Don’t be scared.”
“The thing?” I gasped. Oh! A moment of clarity reaches me at this point. Was Bella disappointed in my word choice for the creature that now grows inside her? Surely she didn’t want to keep it. No, certainly not! She knew what was impending if we allow it to remain inside her. A flicker of anger crossed my face—just the thought of that monster breaking her from the inside out. I could not sit by and let any harm come to my Bella—I would not allow it! I will do whatever necessary to protect her; even if it’s from herself.