Broken Dreams...Sad story. What if Bella had cancer, would Edward change her?

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Permalink Reply by Delilah Cullen on October 6, 2011 at 5:11pm

Chapter One



“I'm so sorry Isabella...”

“It's...Bella...just Bella.”

“You should probably have your father here with you. I should have waited to tell you this until you brought your father into this...”

“No...I...won't...hurt him...this...way.” I couldn't think at the moment. That one word was constant inside my head, haunting my every thought. Leukemia. Acute Leukemia.

“I'm sorry Bella, but as your doctor I have to call your father in. You are only seventeen and right now, it appears that you're in shock and cannot make the best decisions. In regards to your father Bella, there is no reason he shouldn't know about this.”

“This will...devastate him. I can't...tell him. I wouldn't even know how.” How do you tell your own parent that you will die before them? I couldn't do it and I knew it. I knew the doctor was right about my shock. I couldn't even form the onset of tears. I couldn't move a muscle and they began to ache from the stiffness. I was very sure that I couldn't blink. How long did I have? How much time did I have to say goodbye to everyone that I held dear to me? How was I supposed to tell them all? How was I supposed to tell...Edward?


“How long...do I...have?” I didn't recognize the voice that asked the question, but I felt my lips moving. Did I really want the expiration date?

“Bella, I think it might be better to wait for...”

Oh why wouldn't the man just tell me what I want to know? For being a doctor and giving news such as this, you would think he would understand the importance of the answer to my question. I have...to know how much time I have left.

“Just...please...tell me.” My knees rattled, my hands tied in knots around each other, my lips shivered uncontrollably as if I were standing in the bitter January winter with only shorts and T-shirt on. I...can't...stop...shaking...

“Bella, you have to understand that acute means the onset came suddenly and quite fast. We...you had no way of knowing when you should have come in to be tested for anything. Please don't burden yourself with blame. Live the rest of your days...happy...”

“What exactly is the rest of my days Doc? Stop dancing around the question and just tell me. Are you seriously wanting me to take a guess or something? Just...say it already...” My arms were flailing in strange directions as I stood pacing the floor trying to remember how to breathe.

“Bella, it's possible that you could get at least two or three months, but I have to warn you though that it has traveled throughout your body and you may not have that much time. I will call your father in today and tell him for you if you like?”

Did I want that? Did I want some random stranger telling my dad that his daughter, his only child was going to die in a matter of months, if that? “No. Just give me a little time to let this all...settle in and I...I...will decide how he should be told...okay.” I was trying to catch my breath as I spoke, but it became more difficult. Deeper breaths, cold chills, my stomach felt painful. I couldn't catch my breath. Breathe Bella...breathe.

“Bella, you're hyperventilating. I'll be right back.” the doctor informed me as my knees hit the hard floor, holding my stomach. Before I could look up at the sound of footsteps coming my way; there was a paper sack being pressed up against my mouth and I was told to try and breathe as normal as possible. After a few moments, breathing came easier.

“Bella, you're in complete shock and that is very normal with this sort of news. Did you drive here alone? I think it may be best to just have your father come and pick you up. Maybe...”

“No, no...no. I'm alright now. I have to...think of how to break the news to him. Just let me do this my way please? He lost mom and now he's going to lose the only person he has-had left. I have to do this as gently as I can. I swear to you that I will tell him. Please...”

“Alright Bella, I will give you one week to figure this out and no more.”

“That's it? One week to tell him the worst possible news he could ever hear and that's all you give me?”

“I'm sorry Bella, but I shouldn't give you a full day with you being under age.”

“Fine...” I walked out of the room and began down the hallway. That hallway seemed to have gone on forever. When did it end? Tears...where were the tears that should have been streaming like Niagara Falls? Why wasn't I crying? Finally, the hallway ended and I stammered into the elevator. It took a long pause before shutting the doors and went down. Really? I just wanted out of this place and fast.

What seemed like an hour, I managed to walk out the front doors and was blasted by cold air. It should have taken my breath away, but all I could think about was being able to breathe at all. When would I take my last breath?

Oh my god! “I'm going to...die.”

I don't know what possessed me to dial his number of all numbers, but I took a little comfort in knowing that I could trust him to not say anything to anyone until I was ready. It rang twice and I heard a cheery hello on the other end. Too bad I was about to kill his mood.

“Carlisle...uh...please don't let Edward know that I called you. Can you...meet me? I have to talk to you privately. I'm putting all my trust in you right now not to say a word to Edward or anyone else. Please whatever you do, don't think about coming to see me. Alice.” The tone of my voice told him this was serious and he agreed. I asked him to meet me at his office in thirty. He was there before me, greeting me with a nervous smile.

“Please have a seat Bella.” I was nothing but a ball of nerves, jittery and a feeling of nausea kept trying to bring itself up to the surface. “Bella, you're making me very concerned. Please tell me what this is about? Should I be terribly worried?”

“Carlisle, I don't know how to say this. Um, here, maybe this will be better.” I handed him the test results and let it come out that way. It would be better for him to read that instead of hearing me try and explain it. He read through it in about a minute or so. I noticed that he kept reading over the same sheets as if he didn't fully understand the diagnosis the first time, but I knew he did. He was in...denial as I was earlier today. I allowed my head to fall forward. I just didn't have the energy to put on a brave face. I didn't have the energy for anything right now.

“Bella...” he said subtly as he came from around his desk to bend down in front of me, taking my hands in his. The tips of his fingers were cold, but so were mine these days. I couldn't stay warm for nothing. “Bella, I wish that I could say everything will be alright, but I...”

“I know Carlisle. Please don't sugar coat anything. Do you give me the same time frame that he did?” I had to know that Carlisle agreed or disagreed with the other doctor.

“Bella, does Charlie know?” he didn't want to answer my question.

“So then you agree with his final countdown?”

“...Yes. You haven't told Charlie yet have you?”

“I...I have to accept this before I can tell him.”

“I understand Bella, but you shouldn't wait too long, considering...”

“I know that too...”

“Bella, I hate to ask this, but have you decided how to tell Edward?”

“No. How do I tell him Carlisle? He's always assumed that I would live a long and happy life. How do I tell him that I will die before this year ends?”

“Bella.” He held onto my hands and began rubbing them in a soothing manner, trying to calm me, but it was futile and he knew it. “This will devastate him and you know that. Maybe if you still wanted to...”

“Just stop Carlisle. You know he won't do that no matter what. He has said time and time again that he will not do it. It's...useless.”

“Let me think about this awhile before you say anything to him alright. I may come up empty, but...”

The door to his office flew open so hard that it hit the wall behind it. I almost jumped clear out of the seat if it weren't for Carlisle. I turned thinking the worst...Edward, but it wasn't. It was...Alice and she didn't look happy at all.

“I can't believe you two. Did you not think that I didn't see this coming? I am constantly on the lookout for all of us.” Alice walked up to me steadfast. If she could have, she would have been crying like a two year old.

“Bella, I won't let this happen...” I had to stop her there. No promises are being made in which they cannot be kept.

“Alice, there is nothing you can do. Nothing anyone can...do.”

“I beg to differ. When Edward finds this out and if he still won't change you, I swear to you right now whether he hates me or not; I will change you myself. He won't have a say in it if he declines. I promise you Bella. Carlisle can help me make sure I don't hurt you unnecessarily.”

I wish I had it in me to tell her yes, but I would not let this come between them. I had to decline and she already saw what I would say. “Bella, this is absurd. He will...get over it eventually. Just agree, please. I can't watch you die, I just can't.

“Alice.” Carlisle said sternly. “We have to look at this from all sides. The three of us need to relax and calm down. We have no clear way of knowing what Edward will say, so let's at this point give him the benefit of the doubt. Bella, he loves you and yes you were correct in your assumption earlier. He has thought all this time that you would grow to live a long life, but with this...this will change his outlook I think. I think it's best to tell him right away in the hopes that this does trigger him to agree to it. It may not work, but it's worth a shot and for the rest of us, we cannot wait for you to be family. So what do you say, shall we tell him now and see what the outcome will be?”

“Hmph, he won't do it and you know it Carlisle, but it is worth a shot. What do you say Bella? We can all tell him together if you want.”

Everything began spinning and I knew I wasn't moving. They were asking a lot from me right now. I felt so lost and alone even with the two of them right here with me. I knew one thing and that was I would tell Edward alone. I had to find my own way of doing this. I told Carlisle and Alice this and they accepted it, but they both agreed it had to be done now. As in right now. No way. I wasn't ready yet.

Alice sat on the arm rest and laid my head in her side and whispered sadly, “Bella, we don't have a whole lot of time. We have to act fast. I'm sorry sweetie, but I just can't watch you slowly die until you're ready to tell him. Please don't make me be witness to that, please. I love you Bella.”

The tears finally released the iron grip behind my lids and I crumbled, but agreed. We left the hospital and drove together to their house. The ride there was utter silence. A deafening one. When the house came into view, I immediately wanted to run back the way I came. Alice could see that I was trembling and tried to calm me down.

“Bella, we will all be close by. Stay as calm as you can. I can't see what the decision will be yet because you keep changing your mind about whether or not you will tell him right now.”

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes and relaxed only slightly.


                                                                   **********

Alright everyone, let me know how this is going and if you like it. Kind of nervous here, lol. D

Permalink Reply by isabella nicole demaddis on October 6, 2011 at 6:24pm

i love it make more fast and keep me updated plz !!!

Permalink Reply by Delilah Cullen on October 6, 2011 at 6:43pm

Thanks Isabella :)

Permalink Reply by Michelle on October 18, 2011 at 11:04pm

No...no...no. I have been balking at reading this because I knew it would be really sad and I was not in the right frame of mind for that but oh gosh I couldn't help it and now I am really upset because it is so sad and I know you are not going to make it easy and have Edward just agree to save her by changing her. Very emotional chapter D with Bella experiencing such a shock and you showing us that through your writing. Brilliantly done as always. Have to go now and see what happens.

 

Cheers

Michelle

Permalink Reply by Delilah Cullen on October 19, 2011 at 1:04am

Hi Michelle,

 

You came and read it, yippee! So happy that you took a look at it. Michelle, you know me well enough to know that I would never make this easy for Edward, lol. What's a story without the emotions taking control, LOL?

 

It only gets more emotional the further I take this story so later on you may want to make sure that you have some tissues handy. Thanl you so much for coming over and reading this one too. It still baffles me that you even read my stories, lol.

 

D

Permalink Reply by Peace Out Hombres <3 on October 6, 2011 at 7:21pm

Noooo!!! omg you HAVE to update soon! I want to see how he reacts! Wow, this is already making me tear up :(

Permalink Reply by Delilah Cullen on October 6, 2011 at 10:28pm

Yeah Jesse,

 

Edward isn't going to deal with this well at all. Next chapter will be sad I'm sure. Thanks for reading :)

 

D

Permalink Reply by Reka Thiru on October 7, 2011 at 2:58am

Its sad but interesting ... update soon :)

Permalink Reply by Delilah Cullen on October 7, 2011 at 3:16am

Hi Reka,

 

I actually have chapter two finished and ready to post. The problem is...I'm so nervous of what everyone will think of this chapter, lol. trying to find the courage to post by mid-day. Thanks for taking a look at it.

 

D

Permalink Reply by LaurenLewis:)* on October 7, 2011 at 3:30am

Hey Delilah. . .
This is a brilliant idea for a story with an intriguing back-story. I liked the chapter! It was great!

Theres nothing to be nervous about! Your work is great!! :) :)

Permalink Reply by Delilah Cullen on October 7, 2011 at 3:39am

Hi Lauren,

Thank you so much. I'm not sure what to say to that to be honest. Just...thank you. I'm happy you liked it. I hope to see you back again.

 

D

Permalink Reply by Delilah Cullen on October 7, 2011 at 3:36am

                                      

                                                                         Chapter Two


Carlisle parked the car in the garage. I still couldn't move my limbs. I felt paralyzed. I had not one clue how to go about this. I pressed my hands on the bottom of the back seat, willing myself to regain some kind of control. I shut my eyes tightly trying to find the will power to do what I had to do, but something felt odd on my left hand. I wanted to open my eyes, but I couldn't. Something was stopping me and then I heard a voice whisper in my ear; you know, the creepy kind that makes your skin crawl.

“It's come for you. OPEN YOUR EYES!” My whole body went rigid and hit against the door as I screamed for help. My eyes opened, trying to find the handle and yelling for Alice and Carlisle, but they weren't there. Why did they leave me?

“It's come for you. OPEN YOUR EYES!”

“Please, why do you keep saying that? My eyes are open!” Her eyes were too bright for my eyes to handle. It hurt looking at her, but I couldn't turn away. It was like having all the stars in the sky jumbled into one and that's what I was staring at. “Please, it hurts, please stop.”

             

                                                                                    ********

What the...”Carlisle, why won't the doors open? What's happening? Bella, unlock the doors.” Something was very wrong. Carlisle had the keys but they were useless. What was happening?I heard Edward running way too fast and then...

“Stop...please stop. It hurts.”

Edward and I both including Carlisle tried to open the doors but nothing. Edward's eyes burned with fury, he tried to break a window and still nothing. Bella was...well, I've never seen her so scared. I've never seen myself so...scared.

“Bella, you have to unlock the doors. Bella, can you hear me love?”

It was as if Bella didn't realize we were right here. Her eyes scattered around the garage but never saw us. She was screaming for help that we could not give her and we didn't know why. Then I thought maybe this was...”Carlisle could this be a side effect to her condition? Before I could realize what I was saying aloud...in front of...Edward, I gulped hard knowing that I made a huge mistake. He turned to me and said,

“You will explain that when we get her out.”

Carlisle gave me a disappointed look which I knew I deserved. This wasn't my story to tell, but I swear I didn't mean it. I was trying to figure out what was happening and with a lot of human diseases, they do have hallucinations.

                                                                                ***********

“What do you want? I wanted to close my eyes, they burned so bad, but it was as if she...this thing, wouldn't allow it.

“You are the Swan. They are coming for you. Do not fear me Swan. I was sent to warn you. Think of me as a Banshee of sorts. I am your Banshee in a different sense for your family and I must say that you are the first in over a hundred years. Child, you have to open your eyes and...see.”

“I don't understand. My eyes are open.”

The light somehow became even brighter which I just couldn't fathom it getting any brighter than it had already. And then a piercing shout made my ears feel like they were bleeding out.

“OPEN YOUR EYES CHILD!” I gasped for air as if I hadn't taken a breath the entire time this happened. My grip on the door handle finally opened it and I fell hard to the ground.

“Bella.” That was all I heard, his voice full of concern. I couldn't open my eyes from the stinging, my tears flowing from the burn so bad that I couldn't muster trying and my ears felt as if they had there own tears gushing out.

“Carlisle, please tell me you know what this is?” Edward called out to him with full blown stress invading his veins.

“Edward, I've never seen this before. I don't know what to think right now. I have no reference to even look it up. We have to stop the bleeding now.”

Bleeding? What was he talking about? “Edward...I feel like I'm burning. I need some...water.”

I heard Edward ask Alice to get the water, but it all sounded muffled. My ears felt like they were blocked by something. What had happened?

“Bella, what happened in the car love?”

I answered as best as I could. “I...don't know. Edward, I'm so...tired and...cold, but the burning...it hurts.”

                                                                                  ************

Judging by the look Carlisle had, he knew something and I was absolutely positive that Alice did too. Alice had brought the water, but Bella looked as though she fell into a coma or something. I couldn't make sense of this. It was like something was stopping me from getting into the car. What did Alice mean when she said, side effect? Side effect from what? I carried Bella into the house without a word spoken. Carlisle needed to stop the bleeding. Her eyes and ears were flowing crimson and I couldn't locate the source of why they were. My Bella, was hysterical in the car. Something frightened her beyond anything I had ever seen. It wasn't in her nature to be so...scared on the outside. She was a strong person. Alice stood next to me while I bent down holding Bella's hand while Carlisle tried to stop her bleeding. Alice ordered Jasper to leave the house before we brought Bella in. Alice would have normally left as well, but this worried her too much to be obsessed over her blood.

“I think she's going to be alright Edward. I don't know what happened or why, but the bleeding has stopped on its on. She's just sleeping now. It was too much for her to handle.”

I stood straight and turned to Alice, she cringed under my glare. She knew she made a mistake earlier and now she was going to answer my question.

“Alice...”

“Before you go any further Edward, I can't answer you.”

“Why is that? Don't keep me in the dark and please stop reciting Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star.”

“I'm sorry Edward, I want nothing more than to tell you, but it's not my story to tell. Besides, Bella asked to be the one to tell you. I'm sorry.”

Alice was being sincere and that was nice of her, but I still didn't get my question answered. I turned to Carlisle and he too stopped me before I said a word.

“Edward, this was Bella's decision. I cannot interfere with her request. I'm also sorry. You will have to wait for her to wake before you know what this is all about.”

My own family. I was astonished at the blatant refusal to answer me. Something was very wrong for them both to stay out of this and it wasn't in Alice's character to stay out of anything...ever. This is how I knew something was wrong. Carlisle kept to thinking only about his patients while Alice wouldn't stop her barrage of nursery rhymes. Neither of them faltered...not once. I sat beside Bella covering her with the afghan that Esme brought and I went to hold her hand. It was unusually cold even more so than yesterday as if her temperature just kept dropping by the day. I began noticing this about a month ago. About an hour went by and finally Bella began to stir a little, but her brows were downcast as if she were in a nightmare and then she yelled out my name. I truly hoped this wasn't a repeat from earlier. I called for Carlisle just in case.

“Edward, please make it stop.”

I held onto her hand while I caressed the side of her face, trying my best to calm her and wake her out of it. I swore that if I were human as afraid as I was for what was going on that I did not understand; my hands would have been shaking as I touched her. A few seconds went by as I repeated the process and finally she woke. I was stunned into silence when Bella opened her eyes. Her eyes were coated with a thick mass of blood. Her brown once vibrant eyes that I could almost see her soul in were unrecognizable. With a blank stare, I asked her,

“Bella, how do you feel?”

“Um, tired, but better. I had a really crazy dream.”

I wondered if she meant what she just had or if what happened earlier felt like a nightmare to her and wasn't real. Right now, it was best to allow her to think it was all a nightmare. I would deal with that later, but right now, what I really needed was to know what Carlisle and Alice had said. I asked her if she felt up to having a talk. My face must have shown I knew something was wrong because her body tensed at my words. She let her head fall to her lap and said,

“Edward, there's something that I have to tell you.”

My nerves would have been shot by now with the secrecy going on here. Why was I last to know what was happening? I finally resorted to begging her and her tears washed away the remaining blood and then she proceeded.

“Edward, I haven't been feeling good lately and I didn't want you or my dad to flip out on me so I went to Port Angeles to get some blood work done a few weeks ago and...”

“Bella, you are really scaring me, please tell me.” I was beyond scared at this point.

“The blood work came back this morning so the doctor asked me to come in for the results and bring my dad, but I told him that he would have to talk to him another time because he was busy at the station. I went before I knew you would come over and...”

If she waited any longer to say it, I would have a coronary. “Bella...please...”

“Okay, Okay, this is hard for me to say. The results showed that...I...I have...Acute Leukemia.”

What? The test must be wrong. I'll have Carlisle look them over. Leukemia, humans survive for years with this disease. It's manageable from what I recall. “Bella if this is the case, it is manageable. The survival rate can be high, but I would trust the tests more if Carlisle...”Bella cut me off.

“He has looked at them and Edward...I don't think you understand the significance of what acute means.”

Of course I did. Why would she think so little of my vocabulary skills? “Bella, acute means...”

                                                                                 *******

Edward's face went solid. He lost all resemblance of the Edward I knew and loved and that's when I knew I needed some help here. “Carlisle...Alice, you might want to come in here now.” as weak as I felt, it didn't stop me from pulling myself up towards him to make sure he was alright. I rested both hands on the sides of his face. He wasn't looking at me, he was looking past me. I didn't want to hurt him like this. I was shaking and crying quietly as I spoke to him.

“Edward, please don't leave me. Talk to me. I can't deal with us without you.” I couldn't keep quiet any longer. I wailed aloud holding onto him, begging him to stay with me.

                                                                               *******

“Carlisle, the bleeding, the hallucinations, were those a product of her illness?”

“No Alice, I have no idea what it was that caused them.”

“Carlisle, what's wrong? Something else is bothering you.”

“Alice, I fear when Bella finishes telling Edward about her condition that we may lose both of them. I'm not sure how to help either of them. I'm just at a loss.”

I went to speak, but A black canvas interrupted the space in my brain. I saw a small portion of Edward and then...nothing, just blackness. I knew Bella had told him. I couldn't see my brother anymore. “Bella told him Carlisle.”

“I need to know what is happening Alice. What do you see?”

“I saw Edward for a fraction of a second and then...nothing but blackness, no future at all.” before I could elaborate any further, I had another vision. Bella pleading with Edward and yelling for us to come help her. “We have to go back Carlisle. Bella is yelling for us.” we arrived right before Bella yelled out for us. Bella was desperate, pleading for us to take away his pain. I wish I could have done something to help, but the damage was already done.

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