Bella’s happily ever after lasted two days. This is Bella’s own account of what happened after Breaking Dawn, her growing understanding of her powers, her battle to remain with the man she loves, finding her place in her new family, and the ever-present threat of the Volturi.
New posting Chapter 55 - Postscript
Cold Gray Light
Please view the new trailer by Jesse Desplat it is brilliant.
Thank you so much Jesse!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G7XnsKpxIeA&feature=player_embedded
This fantastic trailer was made for me by Marisa Wilson
Please view it is spine chillingly good
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oQwfKh2hE9w&feature=colike
Thank you so much Marisia!!!

From the moment I walked through the door I could feel his eyes on me. Boring into me, owning me, watching even the minutest move I made.
I thought that I’d lose this intuition when I became a vampire. But in reality it had just got stronger along with everything else.
I thought for a moment about the one big change that my transformation had made, my thirst. Although I was still young, and the thirst for blood should be overwhelming, I had been able to handle it from the first moment I awoke in my new life. No one knew why that was. I could cope with human scents even up close, when I should have wanted to drink them dry. The scent caused me physical pain, an intense burning from my nostrils all down my throat, and feeling my throat squeezing tight with the dryness. But it was bearable. This was unusual for a new born. My kind usual manage this much control after a few years. But even with my self control the thirst was still there, the longing for something to put out the dryness.
My mind churned again. My mind could think of so many things at once. The dryness was always one of my thoughts, sometimes near the surface, then moving back into the background. I could keep all the thoughts in my mind -- juggling two, five, ten thoughts in parallel -- but never mixing them. Like watching ten TV channels at once. Another vampire trait.
Maybe I was just being paranoid. Maybe there was no one looking at me. I still hated attention just as I’d done as a human, I still shied away from it. I was just letting my imagination run away with me again. No one was looking at me. But I could hear his heartbeat six feet to my left, slightly behind where I was standing. He was sitting on a chair next to the loveseat. He was close enough to feel the warmth of his skin in the cool of the morning air. I could smell the strong scent of the skin pouch he wore round his neck. A smell that forced out every lesser smell from that part of the room, like a car headlamp blinding out a flashlight. It was not just the animal fur with its heavy notes that I could smell, but what was inside it. The herbs and berries that it contained, each type giving a new harmony to the smell. Some sharp, some sweet. Some I knew -- citrus, juniper, cinnamon -- some I had no words for.
Maybe he was just looking at Nessie like everyone else in the room. My four month old daughter was reciting a poem for her audience in her beautiful childish voice, complete with dramatic pauses and carefully characterized accents for the speeches. She was a very advanced four month old. She looked more like a small four year old, but she would have been counted as a genius in any preschool. This was because she was half vampire and half human, and of course could never be allowed in preschool. Her brown hair, with a tinge of bronze that came from Edward, fell down her back in beautiful curls. Her eyes were a warm milk chocolate color that had been mine when I was human, and were now excited by the attention she was receiving. Her complexion was pale with a healthy pink glow of excitement. We knew now that her rate of growth and progress would slow and she would be fully mature in another 6 and half years, and then live forever. We’d learned this from Nahuel only two days before. My dark worries of losing Nessie had vanished. We’d thought we would have to watch our daughter grow old and die in fifteen short years, and we would mourn her for ever.
I didn’t look to check if I was right about Nahuel and his staring. I had caught his eye only once that morning, when we came in and gave the usual greeting to our family and their two remaining guests.
I still didn’t understand why these guest were still here. Yes, I was grateful to them, especially him. So grateful it hurt. He had saved us all: my daughter, my husband, my vampire family, my wolf friends, and me. And he put himself and his father and his sisters in danger. How could I not be grateful to him. We all were.
I’d asked Edward twice why they had not left with the other guests after the standoff with the Volturi. The first time was after the celebrations when all the other guests had left and we had taken Nessie back to our cottage to sleep in her own bed. This was the first day that we’d met them, the first day of the stares. Edward had given his answer, saying Nahuel was so glad to know that a family like ours could exist. A family with a half vampire child, the only one Nahuel knew of that was not related to him, and a surviving mother. Nahuel’s mother died in child birth and so did the mothers of his half sisters.
It is rare to find a vampire who would want a physical relationship with a human woman, even rarer to find a women who survived such an encounter. Her life could end at any moment if he did not concentrate fully on keeping her alive. And what about the outcome of such an encounter? Mortals are not compatible with half vampire babies, the babies are so much stronger than the women. I had only survived thanks to the care given to me by my vampire family and because Edward changed me into a vampire as soon as the baby was out. The memories of this violent birth were now dimming for me. The vampire venom had mended the terrible damage and left me whole, strong, and beautiful.
According to Edward, Nahuel had spent his long life, over 150 years, thinking he must be evil to the core to have killed his mother. But seeing me set him free from his guilt. He now blamed his father for not caring for his mother as Edward had for me, and for not changing her when Nahuel ripped his way out of her.
The second time I’d asked Edward why Nahuel and his aunt (a full vampire) were still with us, Edward said that they wanted to learn more about our vegetarian lifestyle. This was how we liked to describe our abnormal hunting habits in the Cullen family. Unlike other vampires we only hunted animals, not humans. This gave us distinctive golden eyes which intrigued the normal red-eyed vampires. When I asked this second time, it was not what Edward had said that set me thinking but the way he said it. If I wasn’t his wife and didn’t know him so well I would not have noticed the slight tightening of his straight shoulders under his tan colored jumper, and that he was holding his perfect jaw a eighth of an inch higher than normal. He was lying to me.
Edward lied a lot. He had to. When you can read the minds of everyone in a mile radius then you have to lie to appear normal. You have to learn to ignore the thoughts most of the time. You have to answer only the questions people say out loud and not all the far-reaching ones they think in their heads but don’t dare ask. Edward also felt he must not betray confidences of those around him. It was not as though he could stop hearing thoughts if he wanted to, and not as if people could stop thinking when he was around, so he just didn’t pass these thoughts on. I was a shield which meant that he could not read my mind, not even when I was only human. Now that I was a vampire I had learned to remove my shield if I wanted, but I could only do so for a few moments at a time and even then it was exhausting work.
But why would he lie to me about why Nahuel and Huilen were still here? We had just made it through the worst danger imaginable: the whole of the Volturi forces lined up against us, the judges, jury and executioners of the vampire world. We had survived that, so what now? What was he covering up? Surely we had to have a break from peril sometime.
Maybe bad luck was something that I’d brought with me into this life. Since I met Edward as a human I had always had bad luck. My life before Edward, before my return to Forks to live with my Dad, Charlie, was a quiet life in the big city of Phoenix with my Mom, Renée. The memory of this former life was becoming hazy, almost a pre life to my human life, as if I was now in my third life, not my second. I’d had too much on my mind to sit down and think about it, though that was the only way my family said that I would remember it for the future. As I remembered it now, it was a happy but lonely time of looking after my hair-brained mother and being the adult in the relationship even though I was the child. She didn’t need to be looked after in a physical way but in an emotional one, helping her to organize and control her life. I was the one who made sure we went to the store when we needed groceries and that we went to the bank when the bills needed to be paid. In many ways you could say I was her keeper rather than her daughter. This role was taken by Phil, her husband of nearly three years.
I argued with myself that I had already brought my shield through to my vampire life along with my strange ability for self control. I was sure that I could not have brought anything else. I had left my clumsiness behind, which was a truly good thing. I now moved so fast and was so strong that if I was clumsy lots of things would get broken. Not just inanimate objects, but living things. Even people.
I looked over at Edward, to keep my eye from straying to Nahuel. His beauty never failed to amaze me. He was stunning. His eyes were a warm amber color. But this morning more like stone than liquid. Something was bugging him. No doubt he was hearing things he didn’t like. His face muscles twitched slightly and his teeth locked together noiselessly. His smile remained, a facade to keep the others away from his upset within. I had no idea what he had heard or who it was that was having these thoughts, but my mind turned to Nahuel again, though I didn’t let my eyes follow. Edward would tell me when it was right and certainly not in the middle of this gathering.
Edward applauded when Nessie came to the end of her poem, pride now on his face. I felt a jolt of joy at his pride. I was proud of her, naturally, and applauded loudly too. But to have him so in awe of her gave me such a feeling of belonging. I had, in the end, been able to give him something so worthwhile. A daughter, our miracle. It made up for the lack of balance in our relationship. He had given me everything: his love, his life, my new life, money, possessions, a home, a car, a family. But the one thing that that he had never imagined, that none of our vampire family had thought possible, came from me. She was a delight to them all, and especially Edward.
It was only as I turned away from Nessie’s performance that I noticed Alice was staring into thin air, her eyes out of focus, completely still. I knew she was seeing something. My sister’s ability to see into the future was enviable. It had made her top of the Volturi’s list for acquisitions. It was this ability that had saved the family and herself many times over. The future she saw was only one of the possible outcomes. If decisions that had been made were changed then what she saw would change.
“Demetri is coming,” she said simply in a clear chiming voice, not altering her stance at all. “Aro has decided. He will follow Carlisle to us.”
Carlisle was at her side in an instant. “But why?” he whispered. “Why now?”.
The image of the the Volturi tracker was instantly in my mind. It was not possible for anyone normal to run from Demetri. He had a gift for finding them. But this gift needed access to someone’s mind, and it was something I could block with my shield. As well as being a tracker, Demetri was a warrior, with centuries of experience working with the Volturi.
“But why, Alice?” he asked again.
Alice had gone back into her trance. This time it took her over a minute to come round. “He comes only to observe,” she said with a little relief in her voice. “Aro will order him to stay with us and just observe. He is to watch Nessie grow for Aro and to find out more about the wolves for Caius. He is to cause us no trouble. He will be ordered to hunt like us. Aro wants to see how this will change his character. He is report back regularly by letter. This order will be made at full council the day after tomorrow. He will arrive three days after that.”
She looked around the stunned room.
“Please look for more,” Carlisle urged her.
“Demetri will bring a note with him from Aro but they know that I can see what it says so you will be forewarned. Aro is staring at it so that I can read it...
My Dearest Friend Carlisle,
I am sending my dear one Demetri to visit you as an emissary. I feel that our last meeting left a rift between us which I want to close. I have asked Demetri to learn about your life style and your beloved granddaughter so that we may better understand each other in future.
I ask you to take Demetri into your hearts and your home, and to this end I will ask him to make himself useful to you and cause you no trouble. Please use him as a son.
Yours in friendship,
Aro”
Carlisle looked aghast. “Is there more?” he said, shaking his head.
Her face returned to the distant mask, but seconds later disgust was clear on it. She came back to the present again shaking her head. “Uh, that is so gross”.
“I saw part of the inner council meeting that was only the family, no guard. It is so gross.” she said, hardly able to speak for revulsion. “Aro says he wishes to watch a half vampire child develop first hand. He says that he will order Demetri to try to father a child when he has returned from his visit. He laughs and says that he may have learned some restraint from us. The mother is to be the only human they trust, their administrator Gina. They will promise her immortality if she successfully gives birth, but she has no choice. If she says no, she’s lunch. He says it will be a great honor for Demetri to father a child to be brought up and studied in Volterra. Caius is against the idea, the decision will be put off until a later date... I can’t see further than that, I’m not attuned to them, I can’t see so far ahead into their futures, I can’t see if she will become pregnant or if they will kill her, it is many months away, it may change.”
There was stunned silence.
All the joy after the last successful encounter with the Volturi was gone.
Then the speculation started. Alice could see the event but not the motivation behind it. It boiled down to three simple questions: why this? why now? and why Demetri? A dozen answers to each question came from the gathered family. The most likely answer was that they wanted to catch us doing something against the rules as soon as possible, and Demetri can stand up for himself.
The others gave little thought to the planned baby. It was beyond the immediate worry and didn’t affect us personally. But my mind was on Gina and how I could help her. I had only just survived my own pregnancy and I had had good medical care and love from all my family. I felt cold, cold to the heart.
Had I started some new vampire fashion? Would lots of vampire males want to father children? And what of the vampire females, would they want to become stepmothers? I thought of the loss of human life. I thought of Gina.
I found myself a spot on the floor and sat there still, shocked, horrified.
The discussion went on for nearly an hour, until Carlisle looked at the clock and said that he had to go for his shift at the hospital.
He turned to our guests, “Nahuel, Huilen. It may be best if you were not here when Demetri comes to call. I do not wish to ask you to leave but for your own safety I must ask you to think about what you want to do. You know you have our thanks for what you have done for us, and I owe you for the safety of all my family. You are welcome here at any normal time.”
It was Huilen who spoke this time. She spoke simply in her heavy accent. “We will leave before he arrives.”
Carlisle smiled warmly at her. “That is for the best. We can visit you before long, and maybe meet Nahuel’s sisters if that is possible.”
The others continued to speculate after Carlisle had gone, Emmett debating with Jasper the possibility of beating Demetri in a fight. Jasper thought that if there were several of us it may be possible, but it would only bring the rest of the guard down on us, a battle which we would not win this time.
Alice touched me lightly on the arm, tutting at my pants and jumper combination. My favorite sister was never happy with my lack of fashion sense. But she could see the future, and would have known the day before about this particular lapse of mine. I thought to myself that I would suggest to her that she warns me in advance next time, so that I don’t disappoint her again.
“You know, I thought you would have learned a little by now Bella,” she chided quietly. “I will just have to take you back to your cottage and show you how to match up those pants myself. I didn’t spend weeks putting together your wardrobe for you to use it like this.”
That morning I must have really gotten under her skin. How could she care so much about fashion when she’d just given us the news about Demetri? Really. It made no sense.
I looked down at my outfit. It didn’t look that bad to me. I’d made sure that some of the threads in the jumper were exactly the same tone as the pants, but if it made her happy we could be home and back in a very short time. A few minutes out of the house would do me some good.
“Edward,” she chimed. “I’m taking Bella back to your cottage, can you look after Nessie by yourself?” The look on her face one of great effort.
He smiled warmly at her. “By myself? I don’t think that I will ever be allowed to look after Nessie by myself. She has too many fans for that.” He looked quizzically at her while he made his answer, as if they were having another inaudible conversation but failing to understand each other.
It was true. Most of the room were watching Nessie again, just waiting to see what she would do next, fascinated by her. Her Aunt Rose and Grandma Esme sat on the floor with her.
“We’ll see you soon,” Alice chimed again, wincing with effort, like a small child trying to remember a really difficult times table sum.
As soon as she said this I looked around the gathering to smile a normal goodbye. Then I saw him, Nahuel. He was staring at me. Staring at me with total adoration in his eyes as if I were the only thing he could see in the world. The only thing he had ever seen. Like a blind man seeing the sun for the first time.
Oh no... no please no, I screamed inside my head. My face turned from a smile to sheer dread, his calm face turning from adoration to puzzlement at my expression.
Edward stiffened beside me, but said nothing.
Alice tugged my sleeve and we were off through the patio doors at the rear of the house, running back to my cottage hand in hand. I was only too glad to go, and Alice's excuse was perfect.
As soon as we were over the river she said in a very hushed voice, “Shield me, stop him reading my mind.”
New posting Chapter 55 - Postscript
Tags: Bella, Chris, Cold, Edward, Gray, Jasper, Light, Sequel, Twilight
Delilah,
thank you for you comment.
I will be updating soon, to be hounest I have a lot of chapters in draft already they do need an edit though. I have a very kind family member who does this for me but I can't overwhelm them with too much stuff. Also before the story goes too far I need to be sure of my ending to make sure I have all the threds in place.
It surprised me the way the is story turning out, sometimes it's not like I am in charge of the direction of the plot at all.
I haven't written anything for pleasure before and it took me by surprise how much I enjoyed writing. I guess I just enjoyed the twilight characters so much and I think they have a lot more to give yet.
I really enjoyed Andra's story, I always felt Charlie was under played in the books. The cat was a master stroke just so Charlie.
Best wishes
Christine
Permalink Reply by saranya,LOVE IS LIFE on April 6, 2012 at 3:26pm oh my god...emmet wid bella...
my curiosity is growng larger to read ur writings lol...
Glad you are enjoying It.
Thanks for commenting.
Permalink Reply by carmelarouk on June 3, 2012 at 9:08pm whoa didn't see that one coming
Hi Carmel,
yep Bella thought it was Nahuel that she had the biggest problem with but oh no, things are much worse than that, much, much worse.
Thank you for replying to these early chapters as you go - I know it takes time but I am really please that you have.
Best wishes
Chris
“I’m not voyeuristic, you know,” she said defensively as she saw the appalled look on my face. “I don’t want to go viewing other people's love lives. Thankfully I don’t see the usual stuff that people do to fill the day and night, only if I’m really trying to watch out for them, which takes an awful lot of effort. But I do see the big stuff, the events of significance or change. This must be one of them. I did see you covered in bruises the first morning of your honeymoon. That’s why I packed the dresses. I knew that would be a changing point in your relationship with Edward, and I was taking care not to see what happened to give you the bruises. I’m really not a peeping tom. I only wanted to know that he wasn’t going to kill you, what with it being the first time for both of you and you used to be so delicate”.
She was rambling. I put my hand up to hush and dismiss her babble.
I felt like crying. But the tears would not come, not in this stone body. We sat there in silence for a few minutes. She still had her arm around me. I sat with my head in my hands. She took my nearer hand from my head and held it.
“Alice, can you see any triggers, or anything that would give a clue to timing. This must be a long time in the future, right?”
“I’ve tried,” she said with frustration. ”I spent most of last night in the forest alone trying to concentrate. But nothing. It’s too dark to get any sort of handle on time or place.”
“I’m going to have to leave, to get away. Maybe if I go they will both just stop this.” Panic was in my voice but this plan was already cutting through the numbness. It meant action. I had something to do. I had hope again. “I need to be really quick. I have to persuade Edward that we have to leave without letting him know the real reason. Do you think he'd believe it if I just said that Nessie needs a holiday after months of tension, just somewhere with the two of us? He really doesn’t need to know about Emmett. You know how jealous he gets. If he heard Emmett thinking about it, it’s sure to end in a fight, and they are brothers. He loves Emmett. I think he must know about Nahuel already and that's what's stressing him out, and why he wasn't telling me the real reason for them hanging around here. He doesn’t want me to know. It’s like it was with Jacob all over again, but this time there are two of them, Emmett and Nahuel.“
At least this time, I don’t love either of them in that way, not one little bit, I added to myself.
I thought then of the months of tension that there had been between me, Edward and my best friend Jacob, and the way that Edward had forbidden me to see him. At the time, he said it was only out of concern for my safety, what with Jacob being a werewolf and all, but in the end he had to admit it was more to do with prejudice. He was also clearly jealous, but he never admitted it. In Jacob’s case Edward did have something to worry about. I did love Jacob and not only as a brother. But that love was like a tiny spring against the huge river of love that I felt for Edward. If there had been no mythical world and Edward did not exist, I would have been with Jacob.
Of course the situation with Jacob had resolved itself, but not really in a way that I liked. Jacob had imprinted on Nessie the day she was born. It almost felt like Jacob and I had only been so close because he was subconsciously waiting for her to arrive. Neither Edward nor I were thrilled about having a werewolf imprint on our baby, but we knew it was totally involuntary on his part and that there was nothing romantic at all in his thoughts towards her at the moment. His whole world revolved around making sure she was happy and healthy. As he pointed out, not much different from mine really, just I was her mom.
“I’m not sure that an extended holiday would be a good idea when Demetri is coming," she reminded me, "and it’s mainly Nessie that he's coming to observe.”
After a few more seconds silence, Alice’s eyes went blank again, but for just a few seconds this time. She turned back to me, a small smile on her face.
Permalink Reply by Delilah Cullen on November 28, 2011 at 2:06am Chris,
I am so sorry for my long delay in reading your wonderful chapters. I had to take a break from my girls, my husband and family over and...the long list of stories that I have to keep up with writing. So beginning to read the stories that I truly enjoyed reading once took priority at the moment.
I'm not sure if i've told you before, but I love your writing. It's descriptive. I feel like I'm sitting there with Alice and Bella. You beat me by a mile the way you write, lol. You should know that. You are that good. You should shoot me a private message. I have some things that may help you.
Okay, so I need to go and read some more. I have a feeling I have a lot to catch up on with this story. By the way, you had me in this story when you mentioned Bella and Emmett, lol. The way you're going about this is so great.
D
Delilah,
you really are very kind to write such a comment. Thank you so much.
I hope that you enjoy the rest of the story when it all gets posted.
Your stories are so full of life and pace and are so popular!
Thanks again
Chris
Permalink Reply by Lila Graffiti Girl <3 on January 9, 2013 at 5:01pm Hi Lila,
Thank you for reading Cold Gray Light, there is quite a lot of it to read now! And thank you for commenting!
I very much appeciate your kind words.
I have tried to keep the characters in line with the originals from the SM books. However they will develop through the story (else what would be the point), a couple of the minor characters play bigger roles in this story but they are all from SM stories, I haven't made any of my own up.
A warning there are lots twists and turns in this plot right up to the last chapter. (not yet finished)
Best wishes
Chris
"You know, you could go see Tania," Alice said. "She is going to call Carlisle when he is back from his shift at the hospital. Maybe you could weave some excuse about wanting to go to thank them again and let Edward grieve with them for their loss of Irina.” Her smile brightened. "I’m sure that Nessie’s presence would brighten their outlook. A new life, when an old life is over. A brief visit, just a couple of days. Maybe a little distance from Emmett and Nahuel will make all the difference.”
“Why are they calling Carlisle?” I quizzed. “We did only see them two days ago.”
“I can’t get a handle on that at all. All I can see is that they look really upset. I’d say they looked ill, if they were human. There don’t appear to be any injuries. I guess it's just part of the grieving process. Irina was their sister for centuries.”
Irina was the only vampire who had lost her life to the Volturi. They burned her to ash for bearing false witness, or so they claimed. We knew that, in truth, they were just trying to provoke a fight, a reason to attack and kill us all. I had never met Irina before the standoff, so to me, her loss, although sad, was not a personal tragedy. The rest of my family were feeling it though. They considered themselves the cousins of Tania’s clan up in Denali. They were the only other vegetarian vampires we knew.
“Go to the cottage. Change to the cream roll neck top in the third draw down of you dresser and put on the dark blue jacket in the fifth suit carrier on you lower rack. We need to keep up the charade,” Alice said.
I was gone and back in no time.
I grimaced. “Let’s go back to the house already.”
“hmm ... Tania will phone this evening. Carlisle will want to go see them and you can make a plan to go with him.”
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