The Twilight Saga

Bella’s happily ever after lasted two days. This is Bella’s own account of what happened after Breaking Dawn, her growing understanding of her powers, her battle to remain with the man she loves, finding her place in her new family, and the ever-present threat of the Volturi.

New posting Chapter 55 - Postscript

 

Cold Gray Light

by Chris

Trailers

 

Please view the new trailer by Jesse Desplat it is brilliant.

Thank you so much Jesse!

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G7XnsKpxIeA&feature=player_embedded

 

 

This fantastic trailer was made for me by Marisa Wilson

 

Please view it is spine chillingly good

 

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oQwfKh2hE9w&feature=colike

 

Thank you so much Marisia!!!

 

 

Contents

Chapter 1 - Intuition

Chapter 2 - Warning 

Chapter 3 - Hope

Chapter 4 - Plan

Chapter 5 - Escape

Chapter 6 - Journey

Chapter 7 - Motherhood

Chapter 8 - Dreams

Chapter 9 - Calls

Chapter 10 - Danger

Chapter 11 - Fight

Chapter 12 - Inquisition

Chapter 13 - Peace

Chapter 14 - Talents

Chapter 15 - Return

Chapter 16 - Talk

Chapter 17 - Training

Chapter 18 - Together

Chapter 19 - Moods

Chapter 20 - Untruths

Chapter 21 - Departure

Chapter 22 - Unwelcome

Chapter 23 - Drill

Chapter 24 - Arrival

Chapter 25 - Discovered

Chapter 26 - Words

Chapter 27 - Manipulation

Chapter 28 - Consultation

Chapter 29 - Awakening

Chapter 30 - Impass

Chapter 31 - Tale

Chapter 32 - Ancestors

Chapter 33 - Shadows

Chapter 34 - Voice

Chapter 35 - Messages

Chapter 36 - stand-off

Chapter 37 - Patrol

Chapter 38 - Diplomacy

Chapter 39 - Rules 

Chapter 40 - Eyes

Chapter 41 - Disclosure

Chapter 42 - Why

Chapter 43 - Reconciliation

Chapter 44 - Confession

Chapter 45 - Spirit

Chapter 46 - Disbelief

Chapter 47 - Teams

Chapter 48 - Practice

Chapter 49 - Match

Chapter 50 - Betrayal

Chapter 51 - Realization

Chapter 52 - Confrontation

Chapter 53 - Untangling

Chapter 54 - Revelation

Chapter 55 - Postscript

Chapter 1 - Intuition

 

From the moment I walked through the door I could feel his eyes on me. Boring into me, owning me, watching even the minutest move I made.

I thought that I’d lose this intuition when I became a vampire. But in reality it had just got stronger along with everything else.

I thought for a moment about the one big change that my transformation had made, my thirst. Although I was still young, and the thirst for blood should be overwhelming, I had been able to handle it from the first moment I awoke in my new life.  No one knew why that was. I could cope with human scents even up close, when I should have wanted to drink them dry. The scent caused me physical pain, an intense burning from my nostrils all down my throat, and feeling my throat squeezing tight with the dryness. But it was bearable. This was unusual for a new born. My kind usual manage this much control after a few years. But even with my self control the thirst was still there, the longing for something to put out the dryness.

My mind churned again. My mind could think of so many things at once. The dryness was always one of my thoughts, sometimes near the surface, then moving back into the background.  I could keep all the thoughts in my mind -- juggling two, five, ten thoughts in parallel -- but never mixing them. Like watching ten TV channels at once. Another vampire trait.

Maybe I was just being paranoid. Maybe there was no one looking at me. I still hated attention just as I’d done as a human, I still shied away from it. I was just letting my imagination run away with me again. No one was looking at me. But I could hear his heartbeat six feet to my left, slightly behind where I was standing. He was sitting on a chair next to the loveseat. He was close enough to feel the warmth of his skin in the cool of the morning air. I could smell the strong scent of the skin pouch he wore round his neck. A smell that forced out every lesser smell from that part of the room, like a car headlamp blinding out a flashlight. It was not just the animal fur with its heavy notes that I could smell, but what was inside it. The herbs and berries that it contained, each type giving a new harmony to the smell. Some sharp, some sweet. Some I knew -- citrus, juniper, cinnamon -- some I had no words for.

Maybe he was just looking at Nessie like everyone else in the room. My four month old daughter was reciting a poem for her audience in her beautiful childish voice, complete with dramatic pauses and carefully characterized accents for the speeches. She was a very advanced four month old. She looked more like a small four year old, but she would have been counted as a genius in any preschool. This was because she was half vampire and half human, and of course could never be allowed in preschool. Her brown hair, with a tinge of bronze that came from Edward, fell down her back in beautiful curls. Her eyes were a warm milk chocolate color that had been mine when I was human, and were now excited by the attention she was receiving. Her complexion was pale with a healthy pink glow of excitement.  We knew now that her rate of growth and progress would slow and she would be fully mature in another 6 and half years, and then live forever.  We’d learned this from Nahuel only two days before. My dark worries of losing Nessie had vanished.  We’d thought we would have to watch our daughter grow old and die in fifteen short years, and we would mourn her for ever.

I didn’t look to check if I was right about Nahuel and his staring. I had caught his eye only once that morning, when we came in and gave the usual greeting to our family and their two remaining guests.

I still didn’t understand why these guest were still here. Yes, I was grateful to them, especially him. So grateful it hurt. He had saved us all: my daughter, my husband, my vampire family, my wolf friends, and me. And he put himself and his father and his sisters in danger. How could I not be grateful to him. We all were.

I’d asked Edward twice why they had not left with the other guests after the standoff with the Volturi. The first time was after the celebrations when all the other guests had left and we had taken Nessie back to our cottage to sleep in her own bed. This was the first day that we’d met them, the first day of the stares. Edward had given his answer, saying Nahuel was so glad to know that a family like ours could exist. A family with a half vampire child, the only one Nahuel knew of that was not related to him, and a surviving mother. Nahuel’s mother died in child birth and so did the mothers of his half sisters.

It is rare to find a vampire who would want a physical relationship with a human woman, even rarer to find a women who survived such an encounter. Her life could end at any moment if he did not concentrate fully on keeping her alive. And what about the outcome of such an encounter? Mortals are not compatible with half vampire babies, the babies are so much stronger than the women.  I had only survived thanks to the care given to me by my vampire family and because Edward changed me into a vampire as soon as the baby was out. The memories of this violent birth were now dimming for me. The vampire venom had mended the terrible damage and left me whole, strong, and beautiful.

According to Edward, Nahuel had spent his long life, over 150 years, thinking he must be evil to the core to have killed his mother. But seeing me set him free from his guilt. He now blamed his father for not caring for his mother as Edward had for me, and for not changing her when Nahuel ripped his way out of her.

The second time I’d asked Edward why Nahuel and his aunt (a full vampire) were still with us, Edward said that they wanted to learn more about our vegetarian lifestyle. This was how we liked to describe our abnormal hunting habits in the Cullen family. Unlike other vampires we only hunted animals, not humans. This gave us distinctive golden eyes which intrigued the normal red-eyed vampires.  When I asked this second time, it was not what Edward had said that set me thinking but the way he said it. If I wasn’t his wife and didn’t know him so well I would not have noticed the slight tightening of his straight shoulders under his tan colored jumper, and that he was holding his perfect jaw a eighth of an inch higher than normal. He was lying to me.

Edward lied a lot. He had to. When you can read the minds of everyone in a mile radius then you have to lie to appear normal. You have to learn to ignore the thoughts most of the time.  You have to answer only the questions people say out loud and not all the far-reaching ones they think in their heads but don’t dare ask. Edward also felt he must not betray confidences of those around him. It was not as though he could stop hearing thoughts if he wanted to, and not as if people could stop thinking when he was around, so he just didn’t pass these thoughts on. I was a shield which meant that he could not read my mind, not even when I was only human.  Now that I was a vampire I had learned to remove my shield if I wanted, but I could only do so for a few moments at a time and even then it was exhausting work.

But why would he lie to me about why Nahuel and Huilen were still here? We had just made it through the worst danger imaginable: the whole of the Volturi forces lined up against us, the judges, jury and executioners of the vampire world. We had survived that, so what now? What was he covering up? Surely we had to have a break from peril sometime.

Maybe bad luck was something that I’d brought with me into this life. Since I met Edward as a human I had always had bad luck. My life before Edward, before my return to Forks to live with my Dad, Charlie, was a quiet life in the big city of Phoenix with my Mom, Renée.  The memory of this former life was becoming hazy, almost a pre life to my human life, as if I was now in my third life, not my second. I’d had too much on my mind to sit down and think about it, though that was the only way my family said that I would remember it for the future.   As I remembered it now, it was a happy but lonely time of looking after my hair-brained mother and being the adult in the relationship even though I was the child. She didn’t need to be looked after in a physical way but in an emotional one, helping her to organize and control her life.  I was the one who made sure we went to the store when we needed groceries and that we went to the bank when the bills needed to be paid.  In many ways you could say I was her keeper rather than her daughter. This role was taken by Phil, her husband of nearly three years.

I argued with myself that I had already brought my shield through to my vampire life along with my strange ability for self control.  I was sure that I could not have brought anything else. I had left my clumsiness behind, which was a truly good thing.  I now moved so fast and was so strong that if I was clumsy lots of things would get broken.  Not just inanimate objects, but living things.  Even people.

I looked over at Edward, to keep my eye from straying to Nahuel. His beauty never failed to amaze me. He was stunning. His eyes were a warm amber color. But this morning more like stone than liquid. Something was bugging him. No doubt he was hearing things he didn’t like. His face muscles twitched slightly and his teeth locked together noiselessly. His smile remained, a facade to keep the others away from his upset within. I had no idea what he had heard or who it was that was having these thoughts, but my mind turned to Nahuel again, though I didn’t let my eyes follow. Edward would tell me when it was right and certainly not in the middle of this gathering.

Edward applauded when Nessie came to the end of her poem, pride now on his face. I felt a jolt of joy at his pride. I was proud of her, naturally, and applauded loudly too. But to have him so in awe of her gave me such a feeling of belonging. I had, in the end, been able to give him something so worthwhile. A daughter, our miracle. It made up for the lack of balance in our relationship. He had given me everything: his love, his life, my new life, money, possessions, a home, a car, a family. But the one thing that that he had never imagined, that none of our vampire family had thought possible, came from me. She was a delight to them all, and especially Edward.

It was only as I turned away from Nessie’s performance that I noticed Alice was staring into thin air, her eyes out of focus, completely still. I knew she was seeing something. My sister’s ability to see into the future was enviable. It had made her top of the Volturi’s list for acquisitions.  It was this ability that had saved the family and herself many times over. The future she saw was only one of the possible outcomes. If decisions that had been made were changed then what she saw would change.

“Demetri is coming,” she said simply in a clear chiming voice, not altering her stance at all. “Aro has decided. He will follow Carlisle to us.”

Carlisle was at her side in an instant. “But why?” he whispered. “Why now?”.

The image of the the Volturi tracker was instantly in my mind. It was not possible for anyone normal to run from Demetri. He had a gift for finding them. But this gift needed access to someone’s mind, and it was something I could block with my shield. As well as being a tracker, Demetri was a warrior, with centuries of experience working with the Volturi.

“But why, Alice?” he asked again.

Alice had gone back into her trance. This time it took her over a minute to come round. “He comes only to observe,” she said with a little relief in her voice. “Aro will order him to stay with us and just observe. He is to watch Nessie grow for Aro and to find out more about the wolves for Caius. He is to cause us no trouble. He will be ordered to hunt like us. Aro wants to see how this will change his character. He is report back regularly by letter. This order will be made at full council the day after tomorrow. He will arrive three days after that.”

She looked around the stunned room.

“Please look for more,” Carlisle urged her.

“Demetri will bring a note with him from Aro but they know that I can see what it says so you will be forewarned. Aro is staring at it so that I can read it...

My Dearest Friend Carlisle,

I am sending my dear one Demetri to visit you as an emissary. I feel that our last meeting left a rift between us which I want to close. I have asked Demetri to learn about your life style and your beloved granddaughter so that we may better understand each other in future.

I ask you to take Demetri into your hearts and your home, and to this end I will ask him to make himself useful to you and cause you no trouble. Please use him as a son.

Yours in friendship,

Aro”

Carlisle looked aghast. “Is there more?” he said, shaking his head.

Her face returned to the distant mask, but seconds later disgust was clear on it.  She came back to the present again shaking her head. “Uh, that is so gross”.

“I saw part of the inner council meeting that was only the family, no guard. It is so gross.” she said, hardly able to speak for revulsion. “Aro says he wishes to watch a half vampire child develop first hand. He says that he will order Demetri to try to father a child when he has returned from his visit. He laughs and says that he may have learned some restraint from us. The mother is to be the only human they trust, their administrator Gina. They will promise her immortality if she successfully gives birth, but she has no choice. If she says no, she’s lunch. He says it will be a great honor for Demetri to father a child to be brought up and studied in Volterra. Caius is against the idea, the decision will be put off until a later date... I can’t see further than that, I’m not attuned to them, I can’t see so far ahead into their futures, I can’t see if she will become pregnant or if they will kill her, it is many months away, it may change.”

There was stunned silence.

All the joy after the last successful encounter with the Volturi was gone.

Then the speculation started. Alice could see the event but not the motivation behind it. It boiled down to three simple questions: why this? why now? and why Demetri? A dozen answers to each question came from the gathered family.  The most likely answer was that they wanted to catch us doing something against the rules as soon as possible, and Demetri can stand up for himself.

The others gave little thought to the planned baby. It was beyond the immediate worry and didn’t affect us personally. But my mind was on Gina and how I could help her.  I had only just survived my own pregnancy and I had had good medical care and love from all my family. I felt cold, cold to the heart.

Had I started some new vampire fashion? Would lots of vampire males want to father children? And what of the vampire females, would they want to become stepmothers? I thought of the loss of human life. I thought of Gina.

I found myself a spot on the floor and sat there still, shocked, horrified.

The discussion went on for nearly an hour, until Carlisle looked at the clock and said that he had to go for his shift at the hospital.

He turned to our guests, “Nahuel, Huilen. It may be best if you were not here when Demetri comes to call. I do not wish to ask you to leave but for your own safety I must ask you to think about what you want to do.  You know you have our thanks for what you have done for us, and I owe you for the safety of all my family. You are welcome here at any normal time.”

It was Huilen who spoke this time. She spoke simply in her heavy accent. “We will leave before he arrives.”

Carlisle smiled warmly at her. “That is for the best. We can visit you before long, and maybe meet Nahuel’s sisters if that is possible.”

The others continued to speculate after Carlisle had gone, Emmett debating with Jasper the possibility of beating Demetri in a fight. Jasper thought that if there were several of us it may be possible, but it would only bring the rest of the guard down on us, a battle which we would not win this time.

Alice touched me lightly on the arm, tutting at my pants and jumper combination. My favorite sister was never happy with my lack of fashion sense. But she could see the future, and would have known the day before about this particular lapse of mine. I thought to myself that I would suggest to her that she warns me in advance next time, so that I don’t disappoint her again.

“You know, I thought you would have learned a little by now Bella,” she chided quietly. “I will just have to take you back to your cottage and show you how to match up those pants myself. I didn’t spend weeks putting together your wardrobe for you to use it like this.”

 

That morning I must have really gotten under her skin. How could she care so much about fashion when she’d just given us the news about Demetri? Really. It made no sense.

I looked down at my outfit. It didn’t look that bad to me. I’d made sure that some of the threads in the jumper were exactly the same tone as the pants, but if it made her happy we could be home and back in a very short time. A few minutes out of the house would do me some good.

“Edward,” she chimed. “I’m taking Bella back to your cottage, can you look after Nessie by yourself?” The look on her face one of great effort.

He smiled warmly at her. “By myself? I don’t think that I will ever be allowed to look after Nessie by myself. She has too many fans for that.” He looked quizzically at her while he made his answer, as if they were having another inaudible conversation but failing to understand each other.

It was true. Most of the room were watching Nessie again, just waiting to see what she would do next, fascinated by her. Her Aunt Rose and Grandma Esme sat on the floor with her.

“We’ll see you soon,” Alice chimed again, wincing with effort, like a small child trying to remember a really difficult times table sum.

As soon as she said this I looked around the gathering to smile a normal goodbye. Then I saw him, Nahuel. He was staring at me. Staring at me with total adoration in his eyes as if I were the only thing he could see in the world.  The only thing he had ever seen. Like a blind man seeing the sun for the first time.

Oh no... no please no, I screamed inside my head. My face turned from a smile to sheer dread, his calm face turning from adoration to puzzlement at my expression.

Edward stiffened beside me, but said nothing.

Alice tugged my sleeve and we were off through the patio doors at the rear of the house,  running back to my cottage hand in hand. I was only too glad to go, and Alice's excuse was perfect.

As soon as we were over the river she said in a very hushed voice, “Shield me, stop him reading my mind.”

 

New posting Chapter 55 - Postscript

Tags: Bella, Chris, Cold, Edward, Gray, Jasper, Light, Sequel, Twilight

Views: 16736

Replies to This Discussion

wow that was amazing! i loved it! u have to update quicker jesh lol. plz plz plz plz plz plz update soon

 

=) Vampiregirl (=

Hi Vampiregirl,

Thank you I'm glad you enjoyed it. I love Charlie's character.

And what does Renne want? It could be nothing much at all or something really important - you know how Renne is always into new stuff - maybe she just wants to update Bella on her latest craze????? Time will tell.

I'll try to get to updating soon, my editor is pretty busy right now.

Best wishes

Chris

Love it!!! Can't wait to read more!!!! :)

Hi Rachel,

thank you for your comment. It means so much to know that folks are reading and enjoying the story.

Best wishes

Chris

Hi Chris

 

Love the new chapter - sorry it took me so long to read.

Theres a lot to consider in there. Firstly, there are a few "conspiracies" I  have forming about what Renee wants with Bella. Secondly, I love how Charlie always brings Bella into a broader perspective with simple little things :) and lastly... am interested in finding out if charlie KNOWS why Renee is calling????? I know, have to wait and see but it is worth a shot.

 

thanks again for another brilliant chapter Chris :D

Hi Dark One,

thank you so much for your comment it brighten my day!

I'm sorry that I haven't update for a while now but my editor is busy and can't put the time in to help me out with the next chapter yet.

I love Charlie,he is so normal and supportive. The real in an unreal world.

I can tell you that Charlie has no idea why Renee is calling, he never had any idea why she did the things she did poor man. But they always loved each other. But sometimes just love isn't enough...

I can't tell you what she wants it would spoil the plot ... but will Bella be prepared to listen and understand when she has so much else going on in her life.

thanks again for your comment.

best wishes

Chris

Delete

Chapter 21 - Departure 

 

The day before Demetri was due I watched as another dawn turned the little pond in the garden of my cottage from darkest black to heavy gray to match the clouds above. The weather, still cold, looked particularly uninviting at this hour. There was no warmth or happiness from this sun that day. All the color sapped from the landscape to leave it looking like an old black and white film. I wondered idly where the color had gone. If I looked deep into the pool would I find all the yellows, blues and reds down there, like layers of chemicals that we used to separate out in chemistry labs, each liquid sitting on another without mixing. I didn’t need the heat but I liked it all the same. It would have uplifted my spirits, which were still low, but I couldn’t even be cheerful about the sun if there were only to be clouds today.

But it didn’t take me long to think of one very cheerful event that would happen that morning. One of my problems would be leaving. Nahuel and Huilen were going back to the rainforest. A long, long way from Forks.

I knew it wasn’t Nahuel’s fault. The imprinting was entirely involuntary, and he was being amazingly calm about it. He knew that I wasn’t ‘available’ and that I couldn't possibly share his feelings. He seemed happy just to wait, not saying anything, not causing offense to most of us, just as Jacob seemed happy to wait for Nessie to grow up. The only one who really did get offended was Edward. His temper and stress was becoming almost unbearable. But he managed to contain it somehow and stayed with me some distance from the main house, far enough not to hear the Nahuel’s voice in his head. We never spoke of the stress, it was a taboo subject somehow. We both knew Nahuel had imprinted on me, though only I knew why.

I knew that Nahuel would pine for me when he left, it would cause him pain. This pain was my fault. How bad would it be? Was I such a terrible person, being happy that my trouble was leaving, though my trouble was really only a minor concern and his pain would be so great? I determined that if I could find a way to master my new gift I would release him and let him live his life without this burden of unrequited love, and let him feel whole as himself, not needing me. Yes, that was a good aim, a positive aim. But was it achievable?

Emmett had taken off with Rose for a few days, promising to be back before Demetri arrived. I wasn’t sure of who to thank for this but I thought it was probably Alice. They’d gone to a town in Canada which was having a problem with polar bears attacking people. There had been a documentary about it on television, and I had a shrewd idea that Alice may have turned to the right channel at just the right time.  Emmett was delighted, “Well, I like to be of service to a community in trouble,” he chortled. Emmett loved to hunt bear and this was an irresistible opportunity.

This gave me at least a few hours in the house at the heart of my family with no unwanted admirers to worry about. Bliss. But first we had to say goodbye to the Amazons.

They were waiting for us when Edward, Nessie and I walked into the main house. Nahuel openly staring at me again. We made our goodbyes brief and thanked them again for everything that they had done for us. Nahuel came over and embraced first Nessie, then Edward, and last of all me. He didn’t say a word, but I could tell from the way Edward stared at him that his thoughts were not silent. Anger rolled off Edward in waves. I could almost smell it, like the smell of fresh human sweat.

Jasper moved towards Edward, quickly forcing calm on all of us. It was enough to defuse the situation. And they were gone.

My tension eased immediately, as did Edward's stress.

“Well, just the family for a day, then,” said Carlisle, “well most of us anyway.”

Esme looked round still slightly stressed by all the coming and goings, “Oh, now that you are here you can help me finish off the guest rooms before Demetri arrives. I didn’t like to make anything of it while we had guests that we couldn’t give a guest  room to.”

“Edward, would you be a dear and pop to Jones' shop in the town for me? They have the bed linen - they phoned to say that it had arrived last night.”

“Yes, Mom.” He smiled his crooked smile, this task obviously to his liking, and an easy job to do for his beloved Mother, all signs of stress now completely evaporated.

I left Nessie with Jacob as I went to help Esme upstairs. I had missed my mother-in-law in my self-imposed exile from the main house over the last few days. She was a force for calm, love and reason - three things that I craved at that moment. Then I knew that what was missing from my life was my mothers, both Esme and Renee. It was their wisdom I craved now. It would help me through the messes of tangled emotions, not only mine but the emotions of those around me as well.

We were hanging curtains against the small attic windows when I decided that I needed to open up. But she was there before me. Edward wasn’t around it was the perfect opportunity.

“I know why you’ve been keeping  away from the house. And I know that it really isn’t your fault, is it? All of them falling in love with you like this,” her voice so quiet even to my inhuman ears that I was almost lip reading.

“Is it that obvious?” I matched the volume of my reply to hers.

“To me, yes, to other people, not so much. Only Nahuel is obvious to the general observer, imprinting is rather obvious and they don’t try to hide it. I know it is involuntary on both sides, neither of you can help the way he feels for you. It is not as if he even knew you when he fell for you after the standoff.”

“Oh, it was then? I didn’t even notice until a few days after.”

“Yes, it was that very night, I saw it when we got back home from the clearing. You were talking and laughing and he just looked at you, his whole face changed, the worry wiped away and replaced by, well, devotion I guess. In an instant it his whole demeanor changed, his whole existence took on a new meaning.

“It isn’t your fault or his, but it does matter. He is in pain when you are not around him. But I think that you were right to keep away.  I’m sure that he will be in pain now. I don’t think that he will be able to keep away from you for long. But then when he is here Edward does get so stressed with jealousy. It reminds me of how he was when you used to spend time with the wolves in La Plush last spring. He does get so jealous and it is so unnecessary. He may be a hundred and ten years old in some ways but in many others he is just seventeen. Before he met you he had no reason to be jealous of anything, so he has not learned to cope with that emotion in a mature way. It is just as raw to him as to any seventeen year old.

“And of course Emmett is never one for subtlety. Fortunately Rose seems oblivious at the moment, even though Edward’s not. I’m hoping that this trip out to the polar bears will have helped them closer together again.

“And as for Jasper, he really is such a dark horse. He plays life like a long calculated game of chess, none of Emmett’s up front ways.”

I froze staring up at her.

“Jasper?” I whispered, only just managing to get the word out.

“Yes, Jasper. You didn’t know? Hadn't you realized, Bella?”

“No”

I shut my eyes, but I wanted to keep out more than just the light. I wanted to get away from this knowledge, the knowledge that I was tearing my family apart.

“Ahh,” Esme smiled. “He can keep things well hidden from people, even Edward and Alice and you so it seems. But I don’t think I’m wrong. It’s the little things that give him away, the way he moves when you walk into the room, the way he tends to disappear if you are with Edward. I guess it’s hard to hold his thoughts together when he see you with your husband. I try not to think of any of this when Edward’s about, I know it would only upset him.”

“But Alice?”

“Yes, I know.”

I thought to myself that she must be wrong. Alice or Edward would surely have noticed something. What Esme was seeing was just our friendship, the only one that I could rely on as being true and not manipulated by any thoughts that I was sending out. That was it. Jasper wasn’t, couldn’t be in love with me too.

“Jasper and I are just friends, that's all. He has only brotherly feelings for me. And as for the others, I’ve not ... done anything to encourage them... They know that I can’t be more than a sister to them, they know how much I love Edward. Why are they acting like this?”

“Bella, Bella,” Esme came and sat beside me on the bed, “I’m not blaming you, it’s just very unfortunate that this is happening and we have to work through it. It will turn out right in the end.”

At that point I stated sobbing. I felt something wet on my check, not cold or hot, but body temperature.

My hand instinctively went to it to wipe it away. It was liquid, clear liquid, just below my right eye. How weird, just as if it were a human tear but this stone body couldn’t cry tears.  I quickly hid the gesture from Esme, for some reason it felt as if this moisture on my face was wrong, a sin in a way, a shameful act.

My surprise at the liquid had stopped my sobbing and frozen me.

“Bella, what is it?”

“Oh, I’m just so upset by it all Esme. I don’t know what to do or which way to turn. Every way I just hurt people. If we go we'll split up the family and take Nessie away from you all just when she is growing so  much, and if we stay I just seem to come between my brothers and sisters.”

“You can’t do anything at the moment. You can’t leave now with Demetri coming to visit. You and Nessie are the main reasons for his visit.”

I stood motionless with all these thoughts shooting around in my head. The phone rang far away in the real world, a long way away from me.

“Bella?” I heard Jacob shout from the first floor, “call for you.”

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End of Chapter 21 - Departure

This story is so intriguing!  I am glad Bella can confide in Esme.  It would also be great if she could talk to Renee for a bit.  I hope the phone call is from her!

Hi Seugnet,

yes I think that Bella just needs a few older women to help keep her perspective a bit.

Bella always got on so well with Renee, it is a pitty to have such a gulf between them.

But what about Jasper - has he fallen like the other or not? Is he taken in by Bella's thoughts? Or is he a man of emotions only as Alice thinks?

Thanks you for your comments.

Chris

Delightful conversation :) I love it!

great update!  please write more again soooooon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi Kelley,

thanks for the comment.

I'm sorry that I haven't update before now but I just couldn't get it edited.

I will publish the next chapter next week.

Very best wishes

Chris

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