The Twilight Saga

Bella’s happily ever after lasted two days. This is Bella’s own account of what happened after Breaking Dawn, her growing understanding of her powers, her battle to remain with the man she loves, finding her place in her new family, and the ever-present threat of the Volturi.

New posting Chapter 55 - Postscript

 

Cold Gray Light

by Chris

Trailers

 

Please view the new trailer by Jesse Desplat it is brilliant.

Thank you so much Jesse!

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G7XnsKpxIeA&feature=player_embedded

 

 

This fantastic trailer was made for me by Marisa Wilson

 

Please view it is spine chillingly good

 

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oQwfKh2hE9w&feature=colike

 

Thank you so much Marisia!!!

 

 

Contents

Chapter 1 - Intuition

Chapter 2 - Warning 

Chapter 3 - Hope

Chapter 4 - Plan

Chapter 5 - Escape

Chapter 6 - Journey

Chapter 7 - Motherhood

Chapter 8 - Dreams

Chapter 9 - Calls

Chapter 10 - Danger

Chapter 11 - Fight

Chapter 12 - Inquisition

Chapter 13 - Peace

Chapter 14 - Talents

Chapter 15 - Return

Chapter 16 - Talk

Chapter 17 - Training

Chapter 18 - Together

Chapter 19 - Moods

Chapter 20 - Untruths

Chapter 21 - Departure

Chapter 22 - Unwelcome

Chapter 23 - Drill

Chapter 24 - Arrival

Chapter 25 - Discovered

Chapter 26 - Words

Chapter 27 - Manipulation

Chapter 28 - Consultation

Chapter 29 - Awakening

Chapter 30 - Impass

Chapter 31 - Tale

Chapter 32 - Ancestors

Chapter 33 - Shadows

Chapter 34 - Voice

Chapter 35 - Messages

Chapter 36 - stand-off

Chapter 37 - Patrol

Chapter 38 - Diplomacy

Chapter 39 - Rules 

Chapter 40 - Eyes

Chapter 41 - Disclosure

Chapter 42 - Why

Chapter 43 - Reconciliation

Chapter 44 - Confession

Chapter 45 - Spirit

Chapter 46 - Disbelief

Chapter 47 - Teams

Chapter 48 - Practice

Chapter 49 - Match

Chapter 50 - Betrayal

Chapter 51 - Realization

Chapter 52 - Confrontation

Chapter 53 - Untangling

Chapter 54 - Revelation

Chapter 55 - Postscript

Chapter 1 - Intuition

 

From the moment I walked through the door I could feel his eyes on me. Boring into me, owning me, watching even the minutest move I made.

I thought that I’d lose this intuition when I became a vampire. But in reality it had just got stronger along with everything else.

I thought for a moment about the one big change that my transformation had made, my thirst. Although I was still young, and the thirst for blood should be overwhelming, I had been able to handle it from the first moment I awoke in my new life.  No one knew why that was. I could cope with human scents even up close, when I should have wanted to drink them dry. The scent caused me physical pain, an intense burning from my nostrils all down my throat, and feeling my throat squeezing tight with the dryness. But it was bearable. This was unusual for a new born. My kind usual manage this much control after a few years. But even with my self control the thirst was still there, the longing for something to put out the dryness.

My mind churned again. My mind could think of so many things at once. The dryness was always one of my thoughts, sometimes near the surface, then moving back into the background.  I could keep all the thoughts in my mind -- juggling two, five, ten thoughts in parallel -- but never mixing them. Like watching ten TV channels at once. Another vampire trait.

Maybe I was just being paranoid. Maybe there was no one looking at me. I still hated attention just as I’d done as a human, I still shied away from it. I was just letting my imagination run away with me again. No one was looking at me. But I could hear his heartbeat six feet to my left, slightly behind where I was standing. He was sitting on a chair next to the loveseat. He was close enough to feel the warmth of his skin in the cool of the morning air. I could smell the strong scent of the skin pouch he wore round his neck. A smell that forced out every lesser smell from that part of the room, like a car headlamp blinding out a flashlight. It was not just the animal fur with its heavy notes that I could smell, but what was inside it. The herbs and berries that it contained, each type giving a new harmony to the smell. Some sharp, some sweet. Some I knew -- citrus, juniper, cinnamon -- some I had no words for.

Maybe he was just looking at Nessie like everyone else in the room. My four month old daughter was reciting a poem for her audience in her beautiful childish voice, complete with dramatic pauses and carefully characterized accents for the speeches. She was a very advanced four month old. She looked more like a small four year old, but she would have been counted as a genius in any preschool. This was because she was half vampire and half human, and of course could never be allowed in preschool. Her brown hair, with a tinge of bronze that came from Edward, fell down her back in beautiful curls. Her eyes were a warm milk chocolate color that had been mine when I was human, and were now excited by the attention she was receiving. Her complexion was pale with a healthy pink glow of excitement.  We knew now that her rate of growth and progress would slow and she would be fully mature in another 6 and half years, and then live forever.  We’d learned this from Nahuel only two days before. My dark worries of losing Nessie had vanished.  We’d thought we would have to watch our daughter grow old and die in fifteen short years, and we would mourn her for ever.

I didn’t look to check if I was right about Nahuel and his staring. I had caught his eye only once that morning, when we came in and gave the usual greeting to our family and their two remaining guests.

I still didn’t understand why these guest were still here. Yes, I was grateful to them, especially him. So grateful it hurt. He had saved us all: my daughter, my husband, my vampire family, my wolf friends, and me. And he put himself and his father and his sisters in danger. How could I not be grateful to him. We all were.

I’d asked Edward twice why they had not left with the other guests after the standoff with the Volturi. The first time was after the celebrations when all the other guests had left and we had taken Nessie back to our cottage to sleep in her own bed. This was the first day that we’d met them, the first day of the stares. Edward had given his answer, saying Nahuel was so glad to know that a family like ours could exist. A family with a half vampire child, the only one Nahuel knew of that was not related to him, and a surviving mother. Nahuel’s mother died in child birth and so did the mothers of his half sisters.

It is rare to find a vampire who would want a physical relationship with a human woman, even rarer to find a women who survived such an encounter. Her life could end at any moment if he did not concentrate fully on keeping her alive. And what about the outcome of such an encounter? Mortals are not compatible with half vampire babies, the babies are so much stronger than the women.  I had only survived thanks to the care given to me by my vampire family and because Edward changed me into a vampire as soon as the baby was out. The memories of this violent birth were now dimming for me. The vampire venom had mended the terrible damage and left me whole, strong, and beautiful.

According to Edward, Nahuel had spent his long life, over 150 years, thinking he must be evil to the core to have killed his mother. But seeing me set him free from his guilt. He now blamed his father for not caring for his mother as Edward had for me, and for not changing her when Nahuel ripped his way out of her.

The second time I’d asked Edward why Nahuel and his aunt (a full vampire) were still with us, Edward said that they wanted to learn more about our vegetarian lifestyle. This was how we liked to describe our abnormal hunting habits in the Cullen family. Unlike other vampires we only hunted animals, not humans. This gave us distinctive golden eyes which intrigued the normal red-eyed vampires.  When I asked this second time, it was not what Edward had said that set me thinking but the way he said it. If I wasn’t his wife and didn’t know him so well I would not have noticed the slight tightening of his straight shoulders under his tan colored jumper, and that he was holding his perfect jaw a eighth of an inch higher than normal. He was lying to me.

Edward lied a lot. He had to. When you can read the minds of everyone in a mile radius then you have to lie to appear normal. You have to learn to ignore the thoughts most of the time.  You have to answer only the questions people say out loud and not all the far-reaching ones they think in their heads but don’t dare ask. Edward also felt he must not betray confidences of those around him. It was not as though he could stop hearing thoughts if he wanted to, and not as if people could stop thinking when he was around, so he just didn’t pass these thoughts on. I was a shield which meant that he could not read my mind, not even when I was only human.  Now that I was a vampire I had learned to remove my shield if I wanted, but I could only do so for a few moments at a time and even then it was exhausting work.

But why would he lie to me about why Nahuel and Huilen were still here? We had just made it through the worst danger imaginable: the whole of the Volturi forces lined up against us, the judges, jury and executioners of the vampire world. We had survived that, so what now? What was he covering up? Surely we had to have a break from peril sometime.

Maybe bad luck was something that I’d brought with me into this life. Since I met Edward as a human I had always had bad luck. My life before Edward, before my return to Forks to live with my Dad, Charlie, was a quiet life in the big city of Phoenix with my Mom, Renée.  The memory of this former life was becoming hazy, almost a pre life to my human life, as if I was now in my third life, not my second. I’d had too much on my mind to sit down and think about it, though that was the only way my family said that I would remember it for the future.   As I remembered it now, it was a happy but lonely time of looking after my hair-brained mother and being the adult in the relationship even though I was the child. She didn’t need to be looked after in a physical way but in an emotional one, helping her to organize and control her life.  I was the one who made sure we went to the store when we needed groceries and that we went to the bank when the bills needed to be paid.  In many ways you could say I was her keeper rather than her daughter. This role was taken by Phil, her husband of nearly three years.

I argued with myself that I had already brought my shield through to my vampire life along with my strange ability for self control.  I was sure that I could not have brought anything else. I had left my clumsiness behind, which was a truly good thing.  I now moved so fast and was so strong that if I was clumsy lots of things would get broken.  Not just inanimate objects, but living things.  Even people.

I looked over at Edward, to keep my eye from straying to Nahuel. His beauty never failed to amaze me. He was stunning. His eyes were a warm amber color. But this morning more like stone than liquid. Something was bugging him. No doubt he was hearing things he didn’t like. His face muscles twitched slightly and his teeth locked together noiselessly. His smile remained, a facade to keep the others away from his upset within. I had no idea what he had heard or who it was that was having these thoughts, but my mind turned to Nahuel again, though I didn’t let my eyes follow. Edward would tell me when it was right and certainly not in the middle of this gathering.

Edward applauded when Nessie came to the end of her poem, pride now on his face. I felt a jolt of joy at his pride. I was proud of her, naturally, and applauded loudly too. But to have him so in awe of her gave me such a feeling of belonging. I had, in the end, been able to give him something so worthwhile. A daughter, our miracle. It made up for the lack of balance in our relationship. He had given me everything: his love, his life, my new life, money, possessions, a home, a car, a family. But the one thing that that he had never imagined, that none of our vampire family had thought possible, came from me. She was a delight to them all, and especially Edward.

It was only as I turned away from Nessie’s performance that I noticed Alice was staring into thin air, her eyes out of focus, completely still. I knew she was seeing something. My sister’s ability to see into the future was enviable. It had made her top of the Volturi’s list for acquisitions.  It was this ability that had saved the family and herself many times over. The future she saw was only one of the possible outcomes. If decisions that had been made were changed then what she saw would change.

“Demetri is coming,” she said simply in a clear chiming voice, not altering her stance at all. “Aro has decided. He will follow Carlisle to us.”

Carlisle was at her side in an instant. “But why?” he whispered. “Why now?”.

The image of the the Volturi tracker was instantly in my mind. It was not possible for anyone normal to run from Demetri. He had a gift for finding them. But this gift needed access to someone’s mind, and it was something I could block with my shield. As well as being a tracker, Demetri was a warrior, with centuries of experience working with the Volturi.

“But why, Alice?” he asked again.

Alice had gone back into her trance. This time it took her over a minute to come round. “He comes only to observe,” she said with a little relief in her voice. “Aro will order him to stay with us and just observe. He is to watch Nessie grow for Aro and to find out more about the wolves for Caius. He is to cause us no trouble. He will be ordered to hunt like us. Aro wants to see how this will change his character. He is report back regularly by letter. This order will be made at full council the day after tomorrow. He will arrive three days after that.”

She looked around the stunned room.

“Please look for more,” Carlisle urged her.

“Demetri will bring a note with him from Aro but they know that I can see what it says so you will be forewarned. Aro is staring at it so that I can read it...

My Dearest Friend Carlisle,

I am sending my dear one Demetri to visit you as an emissary. I feel that our last meeting left a rift between us which I want to close. I have asked Demetri to learn about your life style and your beloved granddaughter so that we may better understand each other in future.

I ask you to take Demetri into your hearts and your home, and to this end I will ask him to make himself useful to you and cause you no trouble. Please use him as a son.

Yours in friendship,

Aro”

Carlisle looked aghast. “Is there more?” he said, shaking his head.

Her face returned to the distant mask, but seconds later disgust was clear on it.  She came back to the present again shaking her head. “Uh, that is so gross”.

“I saw part of the inner council meeting that was only the family, no guard. It is so gross.” she said, hardly able to speak for revulsion. “Aro says he wishes to watch a half vampire child develop first hand. He says that he will order Demetri to try to father a child when he has returned from his visit. He laughs and says that he may have learned some restraint from us. The mother is to be the only human they trust, their administrator Gina. They will promise her immortality if she successfully gives birth, but she has no choice. If she says no, she’s lunch. He says it will be a great honor for Demetri to father a child to be brought up and studied in Volterra. Caius is against the idea, the decision will be put off until a later date... I can’t see further than that, I’m not attuned to them, I can’t see so far ahead into their futures, I can’t see if she will become pregnant or if they will kill her, it is many months away, it may change.”

There was stunned silence.

All the joy after the last successful encounter with the Volturi was gone.

Then the speculation started. Alice could see the event but not the motivation behind it. It boiled down to three simple questions: why this? why now? and why Demetri? A dozen answers to each question came from the gathered family.  The most likely answer was that they wanted to catch us doing something against the rules as soon as possible, and Demetri can stand up for himself.

The others gave little thought to the planned baby. It was beyond the immediate worry and didn’t affect us personally. But my mind was on Gina and how I could help her.  I had only just survived my own pregnancy and I had had good medical care and love from all my family. I felt cold, cold to the heart.

Had I started some new vampire fashion? Would lots of vampire males want to father children? And what of the vampire females, would they want to become stepmothers? I thought of the loss of human life. I thought of Gina.

I found myself a spot on the floor and sat there still, shocked, horrified.

The discussion went on for nearly an hour, until Carlisle looked at the clock and said that he had to go for his shift at the hospital.

He turned to our guests, “Nahuel, Huilen. It may be best if you were not here when Demetri comes to call. I do not wish to ask you to leave but for your own safety I must ask you to think about what you want to do.  You know you have our thanks for what you have done for us, and I owe you for the safety of all my family. You are welcome here at any normal time.”

It was Huilen who spoke this time. She spoke simply in her heavy accent. “We will leave before he arrives.”

Carlisle smiled warmly at her. “That is for the best. We can visit you before long, and maybe meet Nahuel’s sisters if that is possible.”

The others continued to speculate after Carlisle had gone, Emmett debating with Jasper the possibility of beating Demetri in a fight. Jasper thought that if there were several of us it may be possible, but it would only bring the rest of the guard down on us, a battle which we would not win this time.

Alice touched me lightly on the arm, tutting at my pants and jumper combination. My favorite sister was never happy with my lack of fashion sense. But she could see the future, and would have known the day before about this particular lapse of mine. I thought to myself that I would suggest to her that she warns me in advance next time, so that I don’t disappoint her again.

“You know, I thought you would have learned a little by now Bella,” she chided quietly. “I will just have to take you back to your cottage and show you how to match up those pants myself. I didn’t spend weeks putting together your wardrobe for you to use it like this.”

 

That morning I must have really gotten under her skin. How could she care so much about fashion when she’d just given us the news about Demetri? Really. It made no sense.

I looked down at my outfit. It didn’t look that bad to me. I’d made sure that some of the threads in the jumper were exactly the same tone as the pants, but if it made her happy we could be home and back in a very short time. A few minutes out of the house would do me some good.

“Edward,” she chimed. “I’m taking Bella back to your cottage, can you look after Nessie by yourself?” The look on her face one of great effort.

He smiled warmly at her. “By myself? I don’t think that I will ever be allowed to look after Nessie by myself. She has too many fans for that.” He looked quizzically at her while he made his answer, as if they were having another inaudible conversation but failing to understand each other.

It was true. Most of the room were watching Nessie again, just waiting to see what she would do next, fascinated by her. Her Aunt Rose and Grandma Esme sat on the floor with her.

“We’ll see you soon,” Alice chimed again, wincing with effort, like a small child trying to remember a really difficult times table sum.

As soon as she said this I looked around the gathering to smile a normal goodbye. Then I saw him, Nahuel. He was staring at me. Staring at me with total adoration in his eyes as if I were the only thing he could see in the world.  The only thing he had ever seen. Like a blind man seeing the sun for the first time.

Oh no... no please no, I screamed inside my head. My face turned from a smile to sheer dread, his calm face turning from adoration to puzzlement at my expression.

Edward stiffened beside me, but said nothing.

Alice tugged my sleeve and we were off through the patio doors at the rear of the house,  running back to my cottage hand in hand. I was only too glad to go, and Alice's excuse was perfect.

As soon as we were over the river she said in a very hushed voice, “Shield me, stop him reading my mind.”

 

New posting Chapter 55 - Postscript

Tags: Bella, Chris, Cold, Edward, Gray, Jasper, Light, Sequel, Twilight

Views: 17548

Replies to This Discussion

Interesting!  It's a good thing Bella could talk to Renee again.  What is going on with her?  Can't wait for the next chapter!  This is really good.

Just a random thought: Does what Renee wants to tell Bella have anything to do with all the strange things that Bella is going through?

Hi Seugnet,

oh I wish I could tell ... Lets say Renee isn't quite as scatter brained as Bella and Edward think she is.

She is also Bella's mother and has her best interests at heart.

Bella will be so much better with Renee back in her life she needs the confidence that Renee gives her.

Best wishes

Chris

fantastic update!  can't wait to read your next one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Chapter 33 - Shadows 

 

Nessie was again sitting on the low stool in front of Demetri, looking at him in awe. I was glad that Jacob wasn’t there. I wasn't sure if it would have made him jealous but I didn’t want to find out.

I marveled at just how completely Nessie had taken Demetri to her heart. She had no worries about his agenda or his reports to Aro. She accepted him just for who he appeared to be and to her he was Demetri the story teller rather than Demetri the fixer. He would spend hours telling her tales from ancient Greece or Rome of gods and demigods and mortals that got turned to stone. She was thrilled by the tales and the obvious joy with which he told them to her.

All-in-all he did seem to be enjoying his stay with us away from his usual duties in Volterra, rather like a man on vacation, but we hadn’t forgotten why he was with us one bit. His positive feelings towards us and his good grace just made the whole process much easier for all of us to bear. A spy was a spy however wide his smile.

Once a week he would send a letter back to Volterra. We all knew what was in the letters: Alice would see the act of him writing the words as soon as he’d decided what to write and Edward could pick the words and motivations from his thoughts. There were no secrets here. He gave only factual accounts of what he had seen, who he’d met, how we lived and, most importantly, how Nessie was growing and learning.

Alice also saw Aro’s replies before Demetri received them. His instructions were to find out more information. Sometimes these requests were to find out more about the nutritional benefits of a vegetarian lifestyle, sometimes more about the wolves and once, very worryingly, to follow up my pre-vampire contacts to ensure that no one suspected.

The moment Alice saw this I went into panic mode. Charlie, Renée, what could I do about them? I'd only spoken to Renée on the phone, so she should be OK. But Charlie?

Edward was with me when Alice told me. I think that she had planned it that way.

“Edward, what can I do about Charlie?” a shrill note in my voice. “I could try to run with him. I could shield him from Demetri.”

“But you couldn’t do that forever or until he died, could you? It wouldn’t be possible. Besides, if you so much as tried the Volturi would come after the pair of you and it would be certain death for you both.  You couldn’t leave Nessie and I won’t have her brought up on the run unless it’s for her own sake.

“Bella, you need to calm yourself. Charlie has never even thought the word vampire, he hasn’t the first notion. He thinks that we are on some drug treatment for an illness, and that Carlise adopted us all because he has the same disease and he is a doctor. I thought it was surprisingly inventive for Charlie and will adequately protect him. Don’t panic or you will make things worse.”

Edward arranged with Demetri to bump into Charlie in town and allow an informal introduction that way. I was keen to be there but Edward was very firm that my presence, looking tense and edgy, would make matters more difficult for Charlie.

It was Alice that calmed me.

“I can see the whole thing perfectly clearly,” she smiled. “Edward will introduce Demetri as a friend of Carlisle’s who has come to stay for a while on vacation from Europe to get some fresher air. Charlie is going to invite them back to the police station for a coffee and they are all going to get on just fine. Charlie is going to talk about how quick Nessie is growing up.”

“Nooo,” I moaned.

“It’s OK. He is going to say that you were just the same, that one minute you were a baby and the next you were running about. It’s not a big deal, Bella. He is going to repeat the line that Nessie is your niece and, without Aro, Demetri will have to accept that that is what he thinks.”

Two days later the encounter happened. I spent the day with Nessie and Alice, my nerves completely shot to pieces. Alice gave me a minute-by-minute account of the meeting and it seemed to be going well until Demetri came to leave and looked up at one of notice boards in the station, the missing person's board.  He paused for several seconds in front of the board looking at the have you seen posters. He seemed to be concentrating on a particular picture, of a young girl just turned ten who had disappeared two weeks previously in Seattle. He turned to Charlie and said, “These lost children, they bring such sadness to their families. Tonight I will pray that they find Sophie Johnson alive and well.”

Charlie looked surprised but managed to recover himself to politely say, “I’m sure that the family would thank you for that. A tragic case but I don’t think the girl is likely to be round here. Seattle is some distance but we keep our eyes and ears open.”

And after cordial goodbyes the encounter was over.

When Edward got back I took him immediately to the cottage so that I could find out what was going on in Demetri’s mind. I could see that Edward was looking relaxed but something was not right.

“Bella, we have no problems with Charlie at all. Demetri believed everything that was said and does not consider him any sort of threat to the rules.”

“Thank goodness.” Relief washed through me. Out of habit I sank down onto a chair.

“But what went wrong then? Why the pause when you were going to leave?”

“Demetri knows where the girl is. She is in Forks, he wants to ...”

“No we can’t let him drink her, not here. I know he must slaughter hundreds of children in Volterra, but not here, he agreed. Just because she is missing, I don’t see that give him a right.”

“Bella,” Edward held up his hand, “Let me finish, please.”

“OK then, but I’m not going to like it.”

“Demetri wants to help, but doesn’t know how. He is going to talk to Carlisle about it tonight. Maybe set a few false clues or something, to draw Charlie to the place.”

“Oh,” was all I could manage. I couldn’t bring myself to worry about the child. I knew that I should, but my father had just been saved. and that was all I could cope with for the afternoon. At least no one was about to die because of one of us.

The next day Demetri came to our cottage with Carlisle. They asked Edward to take Nessie up to the main house while Demetri interviewed me. Edward had no choice but to go - Demetri would have felt his presence if he stayed close enough to read his thoughts. Alice, however, would no doubt be filling him in on what was going to take place.

I was glad that Carlisle was there with me, sitting at the little table with Demetri and me, his hand supportively on the back of my chair. Nervous didn’t cover how I felt.

“First of all, Bella, please can you tell me about Nahuel.”

Well that’s not too bad
, I thought, he didn’t even know me before I was a vampire.

“I am extremely grateful to him for showing himself to the Volturi council as evidence in favor of Nessie.”

“And how long did he stay with you at the house after we had left?”

I thought that was an odd question to ask me. He could easily have asked Carlisle or Esme or any of the others.

“He and his aunt left the day before you arrived.”

“And where did he say he was going?”

“I believe they were both going home to South America but I never asked specifically about his plans. Perhaps he has gone to visit his sister, she live here in the US.”

Guilt knotted me up in the centre of my very soul. I’d not thought of him in the weeks since he had left. I knew wherever he was he would be in pain over me. Would that pain be lessening any with time? I would have loved to convince myself that it was the case but I knew in my soul it wasn’t. I knew how I’d missed Edward when he’d left me, and I guessed it would be the same if not worse for Nahuel as he’d imprinted, he had no escape from it. This hell I had put him in.

“Has he been in contact with you since he left?”

It was my fault he was in pain!

“Bella?”

“Sorry, you asked me?”

“Has he been in contact with you since he left?”

“No, he hasn’t. We all said goodbye and I guess we will see him sometime. It would be good to keep in touch with him and meet his sisters, for Nessie’s sake.”

He looked perplexed but shook his head and carried on to another line of questioning that was much more worrying to me and made me snap straight back to the here and now.

“Bella, please tell me about your mother.”

“She lives in Jacksonville with her new husband, Phil. He is a baseball player so sometimes she is away from home for extended periods.”

“Do you have a photograph of her?”

I found the album of wedding photos on the shelf and showed him the one of just me and Renée that Jasper had taken. It was a lovely shot, the trees were behind us and the setting sun behind them. I was still human when it was taken. It was almost shocking to see it now, I looked so pink-cheeked and wide-eyed.

“Ah, a lovely shot of the two of you.” Demetri was still for a moment and then continued, “And Renée is safe in Jacksonville as we speak.” He smiled at me.

“Please can you tell me all you know about Renée?”

So I told him. I told him about my grandmother, about her brief marriage to my father, about her jobs in phoenix, and her new man.  The best hope for Renée was for me to be totally honest. I hated doing it, to lay it out for him to pick through, but there was no other way. Surely none of these other people would be considered any threat to our world.

“How many times have you seen her since you were transformed?”

“Never, I haven’t seen her. We have communicated by email and once by phone, but I won’t see her again. It would be a dangerous thing to do.”

“And do you have a sister, or an aunt, or a female cousin?”

“No,” unable to hide the bewilderment in my own voice.

“Umm ... but I thought ... Oh, no matter, I must have been mistaken. I see your two shadows at times and ... I must have been mistaken. I thought for a moment I could find a lost one.”

I looked quizzically at him. What was he talking about? And why was he peering into my eyes, as if he was searching for something?

“I have shadows?” Was this jargon he used for some trace I left that he could pick up and track?

“It is nothing, as I say. I’m not used to being unable for feel someone's presence. I have just been mistaken. Maybe sometimes I can feel your presence just a little.”

But his words didn’t seem genuine. He was trying to hide something he shouldn’t have said, but I didn’t know what it was.

Why would I give out two shadows?


 

End of Chapter 33 - Shadows 

Back to contents

Another mystery!  I wonder what Demetri knows or suspects?  Interesting and fascinating, please update soon!

Hi Seugnet,

Demetri, feels people's presence, well most people - not Bella.

If he wanted to know where Bella was he would think about all those people who may be around her, like Edward or Nessie and try to guess from there.

I don't want to give too much away but I will explain some more in the next chapter.

Best wishes

Chris

 

Intriguing but somewhat confusing.  Wish you would have explained what a shadow is.  Unless I am mistaken, this is a new concept and an explanation would have made the chapter more interesting.

Hi MM,

thank you very much for the feedback, I'm really glad you said that it was confusing, I forget to read it from your point of view sometimes and get carried away making it too mysterious.

I will try to explain more in the next chapter.

But I can say, that I am using the term shadow in the way you might use the term for two children who are close friends - one following the other. Nothing more supernatural than that.

In the story we know that Bella feels that she is being followed is this what Demetri can feel? Are two people following her?

I'll stop now before I give it all away.

Best wishes and thank you again for your positive feedback.

Chris

If I may offer one more suggestion -- I would like the chapters to be longer.  You replied to someone that when you are finished with an idea, you end the chapter, hence the length varies.  Isn't it the job of a writer to embellish a chapter to take the storey line as far as possible?  I know that is what a rewrite is for and this is your first write, so perhaps later.  I still love your writing and am looking foward to more --  and longer chapters, if possible.

Hi MM,

Thanks again for your comment.

How would you feel about me putting out two shorter chapter together? Rather than a few days apart?

I'm just not that in control of the plot - and that really is the heart of the problem with my writing. Some of the chapters I feel are necessary for the plot - but I don't find them so exciting so I want them over quickly - but you are right it is my job to make them interesting - add more description etc.(But certainly no more plot lines - I have way to many already which is why it is so confusing)

I could have gone into a lot more detail about Bella's interview with Demetri, all the body language etc. I hardly mention Carlisle at all. I don't think I could have got too much more out of the Charlie/Demetri meeting as Bella was getting this second hand from Alice.

 

Thanks again for your positive feedback it is most appreciated.

Best wishes

Chris

 

I would rather read more at a time, so two shorter chapters would do it for me.  I agree that more description of the meeting between Bella and Demetri would have been nice.  I like to "hear" what the characters are thinking and feeling, rather than a complex and confusing plot line.  I am not suggesting that your plot line is confusing.  I just enjoy the thoughts of the characters.  I agree that more was not necessary about the meeting between Demetri and Charlie.  I always feel it is a good idea to write, then put it aside to let it gel, then get back to it. You then see it in a fresh light, as we see it when we read it.  That is hard to do when you are "in" the writing process.  So, less posting and longer chapters are good.  Looking foward to more.  Thanks.

MM

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