Chapter 1: Newton's and Jail:
"Emmett, please don't do anything stupid." Rosalie begged me.
I pouted. I hated when she did this to me. "Can't promise you that Rose, but I'll try my best."
"Every time we leave you alone, you end up wrecking something." she complained.
I chuckled. Like last time, with the talking cows. Yeah, that was the reason we had to leave Idaho so early. Stupid Volturi and their rules.
Edward rolled his eyes. "Yes, Emmett. Don't do anything like that again please. People thought those cows were possessed."
Stupid, mind-reading, vampire.
"I'm not stupid!"
Go say goodbye to your wife Eddie. By the time you're back, Japer and I will have corrupted her innocent brain.
"Emmett, please." Edward sighed. "Don't call me Eddie."
"Edward?" Bella called, "When are you leaving?"
"Now." he called back to her.
Bella came dancing into the room. She lightly kissed him on the lips.
"STAY OUT OF MY MIND!" I screamed at him.
Bella looked at me like I was mental.
"That's because you are mental, Em."
"Shut up Eddie." I snapped. "Stay out of my mind."
"Come on Rose," he snickered, "Carlisle and Esme are waiting. Alice!"
"Coming! Bye Jazz."
"Bye." he said back, leaning down to kiss her.
I did the same to Rose.
"Goodbye. Emmett, Jasper? Nothing too weird, please?" Rose pleaded.
"BYE!" I yelled, slamming the door in her face.
I went and sat on the couch. "Jazz, wadda ya wanna do this time?"
"Emmett, no. We aren't going to do anything that will make us have to move. I like Forks." Bella scolded.
"Aww, come on, Bella." I whined. "It'll be fun!"
"Jasper?" she said, looking to him for help.
He smiled and sat next to me. "You have to try an Emmett Adventure Bella."
"How 'bout we egg Newton's house?" I said randomly. "OOH! And put sticky-notes all over his car!"
"YEAH!" Jasper yelled, giving me a high-five.
"Oh, no. Emmett Cullen, no way." Bella said.
"Come on, Bell. It'll be great."
"Yeah!" Jazz agreed.
"Em, we all don't have a mind like a two-year-old. I prefer to be mature."
"Ooh, ouch. That stung, Bell. I think I'm gonna die now. OOH, THE AGONY!" I said dramatically, falling off the couch and clutching where my heart should be.
She threw a knife, barely missing my head. "EMMETT! STOP!"
"Whoa, Bella. Chill." Apparently those newborn emotions weren't gone yet. "Jazz, a lil' help?"
A sudden sense of calm went through me.
"Sorry, Em. You really made me mad." she apologized.
I chuckled, "It's fine Bella. Come do this prank with us. Pah-llleeeeaaaassssseeeeee?" I begged.
She stared at me for a moment. "Fine."
"YES!" I was so excited.
"Jazz, calm him down before he hurts himself." Bella mumbled.
"HEY! I'm not that mental."
"Are you sure you weren't dropped when you were a child?" she muttered.
"Yes, Bella. I'm sure. It's just because I've had to look at Edward for the past, how many years. You better be glad he can't get into your head. He'd be driving you insane."
"It gets pretty annoying." Jazz muttered at my side.
Suddenly, Alice came through the door. Crap, I forgot about her. Stupid future-seeing vampire.
"Emmett. You idiot. Are you seriously mental?! Did you forget that I could see what you were planning?"
"Alice, chill. You know I'm gonna find a way to do it anyways. There's no way to stop me."
"Fine." she said, heading for the door. "Try not to get arrested."
Bella came and sat on the floor in front of Jazz.
"Who's up for some video games?!" I yelled.
"Honestly Emmett, I think you have some form of vampire A.D.D." Jasper muttered.
"Shut up," I snapped.
Once I got everything hooked up, I turned to them.
"So, who wants to try to beat, me, the king, Emmett Cullen, at Halo?"
Bella rolled her eyes and Jasper laughed. "Bring it on, Bro. Bring it on."
"I'm game." Bella shrugged.
I handed them both a controller.
3 Hours later:
"I quit," I said, tossing the controller to the ground. I still hadn't one a single game. Cheaters.
"Emmett, you're such a baby." Bella teased.
I looked outside. It was dark out. Time to put Operation: Corrupt My Baby Sister into action.
"It's time," I muttered.
"Yeah, we still gotta get sticky-notes and eggs." Jazz agreed.
"I can't believe I'm gonna do this with you two." Bella mumbled to herself.
"Aww, come on. It'll be fun."
"No Emmett. It won't be fun. 'Cause we'll get arrested. My dad will be angry at me."
"Charlie could help us stay out of jail." Jazz pointed out.
"Excellent plan, my brother!" I shouted, giving him a high-five.
With that, we got up and headed to Wal-mart.
At The Police Station:
Bella was right. We did get arrested.
"Bells, you jinxed us." I muttered angrily.
"No Emmett, you're stupidity got us here." she hissed.
Charlie came bursting in. "Bella?"
"Over here Dad."
"Bella, what did you do?"
"It was Emmett's idea."
Charlie glanced angrily at me.
"Just wanted to have fun Chief." I said, raising my arms in defense.
"What about Jasper?"
"Oh, him? He's my wing man Sir. Does whatever I do."
Charlie ignored me. "Bells, why'd you do something so stupid?"
Bella giggled. "Dad. I'm 19. Can't I just have some fun with my brother-in-laws?"
He sighed. "Bella, since you seemed to have so much fun, I'm gonna let you spend the night in jail with your brother-in-laws. I'm so disappointed in you Isabella Marie Swan."
Charlie turned and walked out.
"Great. Now we're stuck here. Emmett, you're an idiot."
"Shut up Bella. You agreed to do it." I defended myself.
"Edward's gonna kill us all." Jasper mumbled.
Leave it to emo-boy to wreck everything.
"Yeah, but I can get out of it. You two are in trouble." Bella said matter-of-factly.
I laughed. "Bella. I'm way bigger than Edward."
"Emmett, you could do as much harm as a kitten." Jasper chuckled.
"Funny, Jazzy, Funny."
The Next Day:
Edward came to get us. "I can't believe you could be so irresponsible! I mean Emmett, Jasper, Bella, what were you thinking?!"
"I'm sorry Edward." Bella whispered.
Finally we got home. He's lucky I don't wreck his stupid Volvo.
"Emmett, you touch my car, you're dead."
"For-your-information, I all ready am dead. Stay out of my mind."
Jasper tried desperately not to laugh.
"Jasper, I can't believe even you were in on this!" he yelled.
Things got calm.
"JASPER! STOP TRYING TO CALM ME DOWN!"
Alice came skipping into the garage. "Jasper Whitlock Hale. You're in trouble. What were you and Emmett thinking?! Dragging Bella into it, and getting arrested."
Oh flying monkeys. Rose. I forgot about her. I'm a dead man.
Edward laughed. "Rose! Em's here!" he yelled
Thanks a lot, Bro.
"No prob." he laughed.
"EMMETT JONATHON CULLEN!!" (Eh, I made up a middle name ok?! Don't judge meeeee!) Rose screamed.
"Rose, chill. I'm right here."
"What was going through your thick skull?! Are you completely insane?! You got arrested!" She was fuming.
"I'm sorry babe. It's not like I haven't gotten arrested before."
She sighed. "Emmett, I'm grounding you."
What was I? Two?
"Rose you aren't my mom, you're my wife."
"Fine then. Esme?!"
"Yes?" she asked, coming into the garage.
It was the Cullen family reunion. Hallelujah.
"Emmett, Jasper. I'm sorry, but you're grounded. Bella, I'm letting you off with a warning, because they dragged you into it."
"But mom!" Jazz and I whined.
"Emmett, Jasper. Drop it."
Well, that was final. But at least I still had my video games.
"Ooh! Jazz, Bells! Let's go play Halo!"
"What about Edward?"
"No, he cheats. You're the only one who could possibly beat him 'cause he can't get into your mind."
"Emmett, you're such a baby." Edward muttered.
"Emmett, you're such a baby," I repeated in a whiney voice. "Whatever, come on. Let's play."