Discovering

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Shadow on July 21, 2010 at 5:50am

kool story

Permalink Reply by Emma on July 21, 2010 at 6:17am

I love your story(: I think it's really good.
There's just a part where you were talking about Bella,

"Then I liked at the last vampire but, she couldn’t be a vampire, she had a slight flush in her cheeks and she was drinking out of a water bottle, what was she a snack for later?"

Vampires have no taste for water and vampires don't have blood flowing in them.
Is she a vampire? It seems she's not until, she bites Ginny. I'm kinda confused :(

Besides that I L O V E your plot.
-Emma(:

Permalink Reply by Amanda on July 21, 2010 at 2:26pm

I'm sorry I just realized I said liked instead of looked lol.

Anyway to clear that up the girl who was crying (as much as vampire can) is Bella, who bit ginny, Edward is comforting her ( the boy) alice is the pixie (lol) and jasper is the tall blond dude, then the next guy is riley. Which only leaves Renesmee who lookes like a vampire but isn't completely.

I hope that helps, and just say if your still confused cause I just realized how many grammer mistakes I made in that chapter and it dosnt help much :/ lol

Permalink Reply by Amanda on July 21, 2010 at 4:10pm

thanks :) I'm really glad you liked it!

Permalink Reply by Emma on August 5, 2010 at 5:41am

Thanks soooooo much, it helped alot!
I love your story(:
-Emma

Permalink Reply by Amanda on August 5, 2010 at 9:56am

I'm glad I cleared that up, and I'm sorry I'm going to try and do better with the next chapter on grammar and being clearer.

Permalink Reply by Amanda on July 21, 2010 at 10:35pm

Okay guys, once again I am asking for your opnion, should I:
A. Continue to write longish chapters and post about once or twice a week
or
B.Write short chapters that I will add randomly throughout the week.

What do you think?

Permalink Reply by Amanda on July 22, 2010 at 3:43pm

Chapter 4: Options
Renesmee’s POV

I feel asleep in Dumbledore’s office. It was cozy, a warm fire was lit in the grate, and he had conjured six puffy armchairs from thin air for us to sit in. Mom was still very upset, she kept trying to apologize but Dumbledore wouldn’t hear it.
“She can still attend Hogwarts thanks to the potion that she has been taking, and she will not be very different. No one need know that she is a vampire now. The potion will leave her eyes yellow, and she can change them very easily with a spell. We also have a potion that aides a vampires body to keep them from hunting.” He assured us, Grandma and Grandpa Cullen were coming back from Isle Esme early, grandpa wanted to be shown how to make the wonderful potions. Aunt Rose and Uncle Emmett however were staying in the tropics on a cruise, we had gotten only three post cards from them in the past seven months and they were not answering any phone calls, however many times we called them.
Riley at the window gazing outside into the snow covered grounds, I tried to figure out why he had come back thirty minutes after everyone else. I also tried to understand why my heart had sped up when he walked in, why I had flushed and looked away, trying to act casual. I also remembered the boy, Harry. He had been very nice, very surprised and curios. I remembered him brushing my hand lightly, and the way that me skin had tingled at his touch. I tried to figure out how that was but gave up. I watched Riley take out a stick-which I had found out is a wand- and point it at a quill. The quill rose into the air and flew across the room, then back into Riley’s other hand. I looked at a quill sitting on the nearby desk and wished it would fly towards me. All the sudden, it did just that, I caught it lightly and stared at it wonderingly. I looked around to see if anyone was watching, then I concentrated with all my might on it turning into a cup, and within seconds there stood a small glass tea cup in my hand.
“Mom, dad, look!” I exclaimed, I looked at a vase of flowers and willed them to open and close. They did, all in rhythm. I gasped and in my excitement I started to breathe faster. Mom and dad just looked at me in utter amazement.
“You’re a witch!” Riley exclaimed, I looked at him with hurt in my face.
“That’s not very nice.” I informed him, trying to keep the tears of hurt out of my eyes, I didn’t know why it should affect me, but it did.
“No, not like that, I mean you’re a witch, like I’m a wizard.” He seemed to muse over something for a minute then said quietly, “I wonder if you could go to Hogwarts, what with how fast you’re growing. Could be they’d start you in third year, say you were home schooled and that your mom got dragon pox. Yeah that might work.” He was muttering to himself and I didn’t understand half the words he said, just then Dumbledore walked in.
“Professor Dumbledore, watch.” I told him excitedly. He politely nodded and gave me his full attention, I looked at the window, and suddenly the glass wasn’t there anymore and the room was filled with the cold winter night’s breeze. Shivering I tried again and the glass melted back into existence.
Dumbledore beamed at me brightly.
“Excellent, simply wonderful. Well Renesmee this is quiet odd.” Dumbledore turned to mom and dad.
“Did either of you know of any ancestors killed for witchcraft?” Both nodded their heads no. Suddenly mom looked very shocked and pointed at a painting, it was moving.
It was a painting of a very beautiful woman with waist length brown hair and warm cinnamon eyes. She smiled warmly at us and nodded her head.
“Ah yes, Abigail Swan, headmistress of Hogwarts from 1879 to 1923.” Dumbledore said calmly. Mom seemed too shocked to speak for a moment then she composed herself.
“That’s my great-great-great-grandmother! I’ve seen pictures of her before, and my maiden name is Swan.” She said in a great hurry. The woman smiled even more warmly at her, positively beaming.
“So my grandson Timothy did find himself a wife.” She muttered to herself
“Great-granddad Timothy?” mom whispered, “The one with a birth mark that looks like an umbrella on hi neck?”
“That’s my grandson, he was only fourteen when I died, and he was a squib so not many witches wanted to marry him at the time. We married young back then.” She huffed.
“I’ve only ever seen pictures of him.” Mom admitted I yawned a little, I was tiered from such a long day. Riley grinned at me and held out his arms, confused I sat on his lap and he sang to sleep.

Ginny’s POV

I lay in the hospital wing for two days with a steady stream of visitors. At night though, all was quiet. On the second night of my transformation however the potion wore off, I didn’t scream, I was in shock from the sudden onslaught of pain. My heart took off like a mad, and flames began to consume it, it beat faster and faster. Then it stopped.
I sat up and looked around, seeing everything in greater detail then before. I gasped as a hand took mine and kissed it softly.
“Good morning Ginny.” Said a silky voice. I looked over and saw Riley. I bit my lip but did not release his hand.
“Come, we hunt.” He said simply, pulling me out of the bed and turning to the window. We had to be at least a hundred feet above the ground, he tensed slightly then slipped through the small opening, doing a little flip in the air and landing lightly on his feet, he waved at me encouragingly. I swallowed and mimicked his moves. The fall was fun, it was so fast but so slow that I saw every single detail. I saw the trees in the forbidden forest, could make out mice in the grass. I twirled gracefully, pulling my arms in and closing my eyes, I put out my feet in the right position to land but Riley caught me instead and held me close to hm. He set me down and took my hand again, running through the forest. Much to my surprise, we didn’t stop, Riley and I ran for at least twenty minutes at top speed. Finally we stood in front of a large forest.
“You can’t get used to magical blood, it does bad things to your mind, that is why there is only one wizard vampire, and only one witch vampire.” He explained, I nodded and suddenly heard a deer no less than thirty feet away. I took off towards in, in such a dizzying speed that, had I been human, the trees would have passed me in a blur. Instead I saw every detail, every leaf, every drop of dew. I breathed in deeply, not for need but for pleasure. I could smell the warm blood of the deer and attacked in. I bit the neck and drank, it tasted amazing and I wanted to drink from it all night, but much too soon it was drained and I threw its corpse off me. I ran again and this time caught a grizzly bear. It fought, but it could not win. I felt the blood trickling down my chin and wiped it before looking down at my clothes. My shirt was so torn from the bear that it covered nothing. I remembered, with dismay, that my wand lay next to my bed in the hospital wing. Riley caught up with me and stared me in the eyes.
“I’m trying to be a gentlemen,” he told me solemnly before laughing, he shrugged out of his own shirt and put it on me. I felt like I was blushing fiercely and I lifted a hand to my cheeks, they burned and I wondered at it. I sat down trying to figure out how it was possible, but not coming up with an explanation. Suddenly Riley was crouching in front of me, trying to hide me from view.
“What is it?” I whispered, he shook his heads and put his finger to his lips, I looked at where he was pointing and saw a herd of centaurs passing with bows and arrows at the ready.
“There are vampires in the woods, I’m sure of it!” A blond one said, I froze and my eyes opened wide in shock. I ran the opposite direction of the centaurs and heard Riley behind me. Then I stopped. Riley nearly ran into and began to ask why I had stopped, then I pointed at the giant spider in front of us, his pincers clicking menacingly.
Riley went to punch it’s face, but its pincers cut off his forearm. Screaming in agony he fell to the ground. The spider turned ins milky eyes on us then scurried off up the trees. I helped Riley up and grabbed his arm. He took it and held it by the stump. I watched in amazement as the skin seemed to sew its self back together.
Riley and I ran back through the forest at top speed. I realized that once we were out of the forest and standing in front of the castle, that we had not gone in the forbidden forest.
“Riley, what was that?” I asked, trying to find the words to ask me question, he grinned and waved his hand in front of us, suddenly the castle looked like a little shack more than a mile away. He took my hand and held it tightly.
“This is my talent: Illusions.” He announced, I stood there in shook before realizing he was holding my hand, I blushed again and leaned on my toes. He knew what I was trying to do and leaned down to kiss me.


So what do you think?

Okay, a couple things really quick, I need a beta and I need a banner. Also, once again I got friend requests from people who read this story but dont comment, plesae comment you guys!
And another thing, do u want chapters this length, or shorter chapters?

Permalink Reply by C.M. Cullen on July 23, 2010 at 4:21am

hey chica great job on the chapter! i think riley is a ladys man lol first comment

Permalink Reply by Amanda on July 23, 2010 at 11:03am

yeah lol, just a little. But you'll understand why in the next chapter cause I'm going to write from his POV

Permalink Reply by Brianna on July 23, 2010 at 10:09pm

Awesome! You have to continue. Well written:)

Permalink Reply by Amanda on July 23, 2010 at 10:37pm

Thanks, next chapter might be up tomrrow, I need to update my other fanfic too lo.

• ‹ Previous
• 1
• 2
• 3
• 4
• Next ›
• Page