Eclipse EPOV
** Characters and Storyline belong to Stephenie Meyer
** Story Adaptation by Erica Bailey
Banner by Leesa
Special Thanks to amel (alias) who has tirelessly beta read my chapters and pushed me to do better.
And Gela Montoya who has edited chapters 1-5 and 8 thus far and found all my many errors.
And Marli who, I think, has agreed to pick up the editing from here on in
(Please don't blame either of them for the errors in the attached links as the editing has occured after the posts... when it's all done, I hope to have one complete document.)
Other than Chapter 1, the following are hyperlinks to the chapters.
PDF Link
Eclipse EPOV Ch 1.pdf Chapter 1: Main posting (below)
Eclipse EPOV Ch 2.pdf Chapter 2
Eclipse EPOV Ch 3.pdf Chapter 3
Eclipse EPOV Ch 4.pdf Chapter 4
Eclipse EPOV Ch 5.pdf Chapter 5
Eclipse EPOV Ch 6.pdf Chapter 6
Eclipse EPOV Ch 7.pdf Chapter 7
Eclipse EPOV Ch 8.pdf Chapter 8
Eclipse EPOV Ch 9.pdf Chapter 9
Eclipse EPOV Ch 10.pdf Chapter 10
Eclipse EPOV Ch 11.pdf Chapter 11
Eclipse EPOV Ch 12.pdf Chapter 12
Eclipse EPOV Ch 13.pdf Chapter 13
Eclipse EPOV Ch 14.pdf Chapter 14
Eclipse EPOV Ch 15.pdf Chapter 15
Eclipse EPOV Ch 16.pdf Chapter 16
Eclipse EPOV Ch 17.pdf Chapter 17
Eclipse EPOV Ch 18.pdf Chapter 18
Eclipse EPOV Ch 20.pdf Chapter 19
Eclipse EPOV Ch 20.pdf Chapter 20
Eclipse EPOV Ch 21.pdf Chapter 21
Eclipse EPOV Ch 22.pdf Chapter 22
Eclipse EPOV Ch 23.pdf Chapter 23
Eclipse EPOV Ch 24.pdf Chapter 24
Eclipse EPOV Ch 25.pdf Chapter 25
Eclipse EPOV Ch 26.pdf Chapter 26
Eclipse EPOV Ch 27 & Epl.pdf Chapter 27 & Epilogue
Ch. 1 Ultimatum - PART 1
“If it is becoming such a big problem, why don’t we go and do something about it.” Emmett exclaimed. Instead of sitting around here, complaining about it…
“It’s not our place.” Jasper countered. “We have no authority…”
“We’ll have to just keep an eye on it… Authority or not, we may be required to act to bring it under control” Carlisle reasoned. We don’t need Vulturi entanglements coming here.
We were staring that the most recent news report on the series of murders in Seattle. It was clearly the workings of a new born vampire – and no one was taking responsibility for it. I was very glad that Bella was on house arrest. At least she wasn’t down at La Push with those… dogs – which were dangerous enough… on top of a newborn vampire on the loose.
I wished we could do something. Seattle was too close – if a new born came here… with Bella’s fragrant blood… I shuddered at the thought. But Jasper was right, it wasn’t our place and we didn’t need to give the Vulturi another reason to be concerned with the size and strength of our family. Eventually they would act. We could only hope they didn’t decide to take a side trip.
“Edward, your acceptance to Alaska came in today.” Esme held out the envelope.
“Alaska? I thought we decided we were going to Dartmouth?” Rosalie glared at me. “What is there to do in Alaska?”
“I’m working on it, Rosalie.” I glared back. “Bella is under the impression we have to go somewhere she can afford.”
When did the human being start making decisions for the family? She sulked.
“She isn’t making decisions for anyone other then herself… I will make my own decision to follow her wherever we end up.”
You know that isn’t how it will work. If you guys go to Alaska, everyone else will want to go too.
“Then we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.” I was frustrated with her selfishness. We have moved so many times on her account… she was used to getting her way. She and Emmett had gone off on their own many times. I didn’t see why this would have to be any different. Unless..
Unless I could change Bella’s mind. I was desperately hoping I could – that she would choose to be human. But she had made herself pretty clear on that.
I was antsy to get going. It had only been 30 minutes since I dropped her off at her house after school and then returned home to check on everyone else. I could have waited in the bushes until my court-appointed or rather Charlie-appointed visiting hours. But I knew Esme, especially, would want to see me drop in once in awhile. Between school, visiting hours and sneaking back in to stay with Bella overnight, I wasn’t home much as it was.
I felt a loving hand on my shoulder. You should go, Edward… It’s where your heart is.
“Thanks, mom” I smiled, “I know I’m not home a lot.”
You are more here now then you were before Bella, Esme replied.
I knew what she meant. Before Bella, my existence was nothing. A hopeless drudgery of empty days and nights. With Bella, I had life. She was my salvation, my hope. Speaking of which, I needed to see her. “Bye!” I kissed her on the cheek as I left.
It would have taken less time to run to her house, but I drove to keep up appearances with Charlie. I parked around the corner, as I was early, and ran around behind the house, knowing I be able to see her through the back window and listen to her and Charlie’s conversation, the first line of which gave me cause for concern.
“Well, it’s about Jacob” Charlie started. I cringed at the name. There was no way Bella would be having anything more to do with that werewolf…
“What about him?” I was pleased to hear the tension in her voice. But I wasn’t foolish enough to believe this wouldn’t come up later.
“Easy, Bells. I know you’re still upset that he told on you, but it was the right thing. He was being responsible.”
HA, I just about choked on that – the person who put her on the motorcycle to begin with…
“Responsible. Right. So, what about Jacob?”
“Don’t get mad at me, okay?”
“Mad?”
“Well, it’s about Edward, too.”
Oh, what is this about? I searched his mind… Of course… I set my jaw as he explained and prepared my counter arguments. I respected Charlie. He only wanted the best for Bella. But what he wanted - it wasn’t going to happen.
“I let him in the house don’t I?”
Yes, between 7 and 9:30 under your constant scrutiny, I thought… Though I knew it was only because he cared about her. I couldn’t be too angry at that.
“You do. For brief periods of time. Of course, you might let me out of the house for brief period now and then, too. I’ve been pretty good lately.”
“Well, that’s kind of where I was heading with this…”
“I’m confused, Dad. Are we talking about Jacob, or Edward, or me being grounded?”
“Sort of all three.”
“And how do they relate?”
“Okay.” I heard him sigh heavily; trying to find a way to say what he needed to, “So I’m thinking maybe you deserve a parole for good behavior. For a teenager, you’re amazingly non-whiney.”
“Seriously? I’m free?”
And here it came…
“Conditionally.”
“Fantastic” I heard her groan.
“Bella, this is more of a request than a demand, okay? You’re free. But I’m hoping you’ll use that freedom… judiciously” And patch things up with Jacob…
Not going to happen, I sighed. As much as I respected Charlie’s care and concern for his daughter, it would be better directed at keeping Jacob away…
“What does that mean?”
“I know you’re satisfied to spend all of your time with Edward.” That louse who broke your heart… why you forgave him I’ll never understand…
“I spend time with Alice, too.”
“That’s true. But you have other friends besides the Cullens, Bella. Or you used to.”
There was a moment of silence and I saw that she was glaring at him, as he stared back. Finally be broke the stand off.
“When was the last time you spoke to Angela Weber?”
“Friday at lunch”
“Outside of school?”
“I haven’t seen anyone outside of school, Dad. Grounded, remember? And Angela has a boyfriend, too. She’s always with Ben. If I’m really free, maybe we could double.”
That wasn’t a bad idea. I liked Angela and Ben… Emmett and I had gotten them together… I recalled the day last year, when I had been looking for something Angela wanted, only to discover she was a very contented girl for a teenager… except that she was interested in Ben. And then to discover Ben was interested in her, but uncertain about overcoming the height difference. Humans can be so ridiculous sometimes…
“Okay. But then… You and Jake used to be joined at the hip, and now-”
I cringed as I remembered the reason why they were “joined at the hip”…
“Can you get to the point, Dad? What’s your condition – exactly?’
“I don’t think you should dump all your other friends for your boyfriend, Bella. It’s not nice, and I think your life would be better balanced if you kept some other people in it. What happened last September…”
I cringed again, remembering the look on her face. I suddenly noticed I was standing almost in the same spot I had when, less then a year ago, I said the most blasphemous, most foolish things I had said – when I told Bella I didn’t love her anymore. I recalled the look on her face when she heard my words and, even more ridiculously, believed me… I had broken her heart. No, I had broken her – and for what? For some foolish attempt to keep her safe? I had only pushed her into a more dangerous situation then she had been in when I was around…
I focused back on their conversation.
“Use your new freedom to see your other friends, too. Keep it balanced.”
I decided I would help her find ways to do that, without Jacob.
“Balance is good. Do I have specific time quotas to fill, though?”
“I don’t want to make this complicated. Just don’t forget your friends…” his words were general, but his mind was still focused on her committing to a reconciliation with Jacob.
“Particularly Jacob.”
“Jacob might be… difficult.” I breathed a sigh of relief. At least we were on the same page there.
“The Blacks are practically family, Bella. And Jacob has been a very, very good friend to you.”
“I know that.”
“Don’t you miss him at all?” I strained to hear her answer, worried that I already knew it.
“Yes, I do miss him. I miss him a lot.” My heart sank as her words and the listless tone, evidence of her connection to him…
“Then why is it difficult?”
I could give him a dozen reasons why, not the least of which was her safety – my primary concern.
“With Jacob there is a… conflict. A conflict about the friendship thing, I mean. Friendship doesn’t always seem to be enough for Jake.”
“Isn’t Edward up for a little healthy competition?”
Edward had decided he needs to get in there soon to rescue Bella from this conversation before you convince her to do something that is dangerous for her health. Only a small part of my brain pointed out that he might be right about the competition, doubting my true motivations…
I quickly ran to the car and drove it around the block to the house. I was a little early, but I supposed, with her new freedom, perhaps that would be allowable. As I drove up the block I heard that the conversation shifting…
“Good. Find that balance, Bella. And, oh, yeah, you’ve got some mail. It’s by the stove.”
I worried about what I had missed. What had Bella agreed to during the brief seconds I had been gone to get the car. I searched his mind to see to his satisfaction that he believed Bella would make an attempt with Jacob. I should have arrived earlier…
“Er, thanks… That was quick. I guess I missed the deadline on that one, too.”
I heard Charlie chuckle. It was her acceptance. He had already opened it.
“It’s open” she accused.
“I was curious.”
“I’m shocked, Sheriff. That’s a federal crime.”
I parked the car and got out, walking up the driveway – frustrated I had to walk at a human pace.
“Oh, just read it.” there was a pause and he couldn’t wait, “Congratulations. Your first acceptance.” He said proudly.
“Thanks, Dad.”
“We should talk about tuition. I’ve got some money saved up.”
“Hey, hey, none of that. I’m not touching your retirement, Dad. I’ve got my college fund.”
“Some of these places are pretty pricey, Bells. I want to help. You don’t have to go all the way to Alaska just because it’s cheaper.” Maybe you could go somewhere nearby – come home on the weekends…
“I’ve got it covered. Besides, there’s lots of financial aid out there. It’s easy to get loans.”
Of course, I would be glad to pay for her college education any time. It would have been a pleasure to do so… but she wouldn’t have any of it. She was stubborn and it added to what she thought of as the inequity between us.
“So…”
“So what?”
“Nothing. I was just… Just wondering what… Edward’s plans are for next year?”
“Oh”
That was my cue… I quickly took the last two steps a little too quickly and knocked on the door.
“Coming!” I heard a mixture of excitement and relief. I was just as excited to see her. Being away from her was physically painful. I missed her every moment.
“Go away… and this time stay away” Charlie mumbled… I understood his aversion. I had broken his little girl’s heart. He couldn’t understand the conflict I felt about that, the pain it caused me to do it, and the reasons behind it. He only knew the affect, and for that I would regret what I had done for the rest of my existence… And that is why I was patient with Charlie and his open hostility, because I understood – and I hoped that through patience he might come to forgive me.
The door flew open and there she was, my Bella. The physical pain I felt at parting was relieved as I drew in a deep breathe of the scent that burned my throat. That scent that, at one time drove me to almost destroy her, now held me at bay. It confirmed for me that she was alive...
I saw her eyes reacquaint with my face as mine did hers – starting with her beautiful brown eyes, deep pools into her soul, her beautiful and good soul. The thing I loved most about her – the thing she wanted me to take from her, though she didn’t believe that. I drew back to her soft brown hair, the way it flowed down to her shoulder, resting there momentarily before continuing down her back. Her lips – pink and plump – the bottom one partially hidden behind the teeth that were unconsciously biting it. Those lips that I wanted to taste, right now, but Charlie would be over to check on us momentarily as I heard his impatient thoughts at our delay in the entranceway.
She reached for my hand and I joyfully met it with my own – the warmth of it, radiating through my arm to my core.
“Hey” she said with forced casualness, and then her smile lit up her face.
I couldn’t help it – I lifted my hand, the one that was clasped in hers, to feel the warmth of the faint blush in her cheek. “How was your afternoon?”
“Slow”
“For me, as well.” I said, pulling her wrist to my nose. I closed my eyes to fully appreciate her as I inhaled at one of the points where her scent was the strongest. Venom flowed to my mouth, but I felt no temptation. Only pleasure and relief at her being with me… alive.
Charlie had had enough of our delay. I heard him rise from his chair and stomp is way over to the door. What does he think he’s doing – right here in my house. If I catch him with his hands on her I’ll… I quickly dropped her arm and opened my eyes, to greet him as innocently as I could.
“Good evening, Charlie.” I said in my most respectful tone.
He grunted his response. I didn’t catch you this time, kid, but if I see you lay one hand on her, I’ll find an excuse to use my gun on you… He took to glaring at me, arms crossed. I realized I needed to move us into a more acceptable location.
“I brought another set of applications.” I told her – part two of my attempts to win Charlie over as I knew he wanted her to go to college as much as I did. I was desperate for it, hoping she would hold off on her decision to have me or Carlisle take her life long enough to realize it wasn’t something she really wanted to do.
She groaned. She was tiring of the endless applications I was throwing at her. I knew I was being a bit of tyrant, but I wanted her to live her life – to make the most of it, not to settle for me. And there were several places where a carefully placed donation would help overlook small details like missed deadlines. I smiled, knowing she would hate knowing that part of the plan. “There are still a few open deadlines. And a few places willing to make exceptions.”
I laughed as the eyes rolled back in her head. She knew me too well and the lengths I would go to for her.
“Shall we?” I pulled her toward the kitchen, so we could sit and talk, and so Charlie could relax and go back to watching whatever sporting event was on TV, an act that would pull his attention away and allow us to really talk.
She cleared the table while I placed the applications in front of her – the one for Dartmouth on top… Hopefully she wouldn’t notice the name and complete the application as she had done so many others before. I could picture her at Dartmouth – she would enjoy it there. It wasn’t as cloudy or cool as Forks. That would please her. I would have to spend more time in doors, but that would be tolerable as long as she was with me. I could really see her enjoying herself there. I hoped that she would find a reason to stay alive.
It was then that I noticed her set aside one of the books she had read too many times – it was battered and torn in places, the binding so broken it lay open without any effort. Wuthering Heights… hmmm – I had seen her read it time and time again, I just didn’t understand why. I was about to ask her, when Charlie interrupted.
“Speaking of college applications, Edward, Bella and I were just talking about next year. Have you decided where you’re going to school?” Hopefully far, far away from here and from Bella…
I force myself to be cheerful, despite his hostility, “Not yet. I’ve received a few acceptance letters, but I’m still weighing my options.” I said, non-committally.
He wasn’t satisfied with that. “Where have you been accepted?”
“Syracuse… Harvard… Dartmouth…” I rattled off a few of the letters I had received, hoping this might give him some reason to accept my presence in his daughter’s life “and I just got accepted to the University of Alaska Southeast today.” I winked at Bella, knowing she had also received hers.
“Harvard? Dartmouth?” Charlie mumbled… okay, so the kid’s got a future, I’ll give him that. “Well that’s pretty… that’s something.” So there is no way he’d end up at Alaska then… his outlook brightened. “Yeah, but the University of Alaska…you wouldn’t really consider that when you could go Ivy League. I mean, your father would want you to…”
“Carlisle’s always fine with whatever I choose to do.” I said calmly, trying hard not let the tone that said he should do the same creep into my voice.
“Hmph.” Even without the tone, he didn’t miss the implication.
“Guess what, Edward?” Bella asked in a bright, overly cheerful voice. She was a poor actor.
“What Bella” I replied, playing along.
She pointed to the thick envelope on the counter that I already knew was her acceptance, “I just got my acceptance to the University of Alaska.”
“Congratulations!” I grinned, “What a coincidence.”
The thought of the two of us at college in Alaska, over a thousand miles away, was something he definitely wasn’t excited about, but the game was about to start. “Fine” he muttered, “I’m going to go watch the game, Bella. Nine-thirty.”
“Er, Dad? Remember the very recent discussion about my freedom…?”
He sighed. “Right. Okay, ten-thirty. You still have a curfew on school nights.”
“Bella’s no longer grounded?” I asked with a perfected innocent, excited tone.
“Conditionally,” so long as she makes up with Jacob… “What’s it to you?”
“It’s just good to know… Alice has been itching for a shopping partner, and I’m sure Bella would love to see some city lights.” I smiled at Bella, knowing Charlie couldn’t object to an outing with Alice. I imagined a weekend “shopping trip” that would land her at my house for an entire weekend, away from Charlie’s glare.
“No!” his face flushed purple, and I was surprised by his objection.
“Dad! What’s the problem?” Bella objected to his objection.
“I don’t want you going to Seattle right now.” He said through clenched teeth.
“Huh?”
“I told you about that story in the paper – there’s some kind of gang on a killing spree in Seattle and I want you to steer clear, okay?”
“Dad, there’s a better chance that I’ll get struck by lightening than that the one day I’m in Seattle-”
Not knowing her… with her scent and her luck, the newborn would find her within an hour of being in the city.
“No, that’s fine, Charlie. I didn’t mean Seattle.” I searched around for the newspaper, spying it on the other chair around the table. I quickly snatched it up, “I was thinking of Portland, actually. I wouldn’t have Bella in Seattle, either. Of course not.”
I quickly read through the article on the front page. There had been more killings. It was getting worse. I would have to stay close, just in case it decided to move out of Seattle, though logically that made no sense – with such a large supply of blood where it was.
“Fine” Charlie shrugged and stalked off toward the living room. The game was about to start.
Tags: Bella, Eclipse, Eclipse EPOV, Edward, Edward's Story, Midnight Sun
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by ★Marlene Vasquez★ on -
im so happy
as always it is fantasticalicious!
luv it!♥! -
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Permalink Reply by Ashzk on -
Erica as usual fantastic job.You are the best only your stoies gives me the exact feeling of real edward.Hoping to see chapter 12 soon cant get enough.
Luvzzz -
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Permalink Reply by Erica on -
Wow... thank you so much Ashzk... I'm just so glad you're enjoying this.
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Permalink Reply by Margaret on -
Erica, as I think that I've told you before ( only about a zillion times ... ! ) - I absoulutely adore this POV.
The Saga, brilliant as it is, always left me thinking ... " Yes, but... ? "
I know that it was written in the ' first person ', plus it had to cater to all age groups, from 9 to 90, so an awful lot was left to the imagination.
In this part of Eclipse it was inconceivable to me that Jacob & Edward were as nice to each other as the book made them out to be. It just wasn't in their nature.
Yet again, you've put it right for me.........
When I read this, I no longer think ... " Yes, but .... ? "
It is just ...... " YES !!!! "
Thank you Erica, this whole POV, for me, is unequalled anywhere or by anyone, period ! -
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Permalink Reply by Erica on
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Hey Margaret! Thank you! Wow, what you've said about going from Yes, but to Yes... I am so honored by that, because it is exactly what I felt when I read Midnight Sun...
Thank you so much again! -
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Permalink Reply by Tami on -
Yeah !!!! More from my favorite author...do I mean Erica or Edward? How about both!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Where to start today...I know, how about the beginning!
I really like this line because he is so furious and he is so adamant that she remain human but here we see that he really wants her for himself...at all costs!!! Away from the mutt!!!
***Then she flashed back on her vision of immortal Bella. As selfish as I was I grasped on to it like a dying man
I like this line because we see from Carlisle's mind that he wants to have the newborns join them and become peaceable. Brings new meaning to why Edward petitioned Jane with Brie:
***Individually, maybe they could be swayed…” He was hopeful he could convince them not only to be discreet, but, perhaps to join our own way of life.
Then he is worried about how the wolf pack could protect her against the Volturi and I love how he reminiscents about his life before Bella compared to now:
***No amount of wolves would protect her if it came to that. I got up and headed for my piano, finding a tune to settle my nerves. My life used to be so calm, so unchanging… so dull. With Bella, in this one night I’d felt despair, anger, jealousy, joy and lust. I wouldn’t want it any other way.
Poor Edward so worried about if Bella loves Jacob...asking Alice...he is really a mess!
I also like how he took out the Vanquish to calm him self down...maybe that is why later, he offers that car to Jacob when he needs the same. Interesting idea Erica!!!! Kudos!!!!!
This was great:
***I gripped the steering wheel and heard it creak. Whoa. I need to take it easy. I just replaced it. I got out of the car and ran instead
***Sigh*** You can almost hear a golden oldie from the 50's (Edward's favorite era) 'Why Must I Be A Teenage Vampire In Love?'
I've always imagined how that phone call would have gone...between Edward and Jacob. Nice job!!!
Again a little set up for later in the book...when we get to hear Jacob's thoughts about 'the best night of his life'. Great idea!!!
***“No, I’m glad you liked it. It was…” exhilarating, the best night of my life… “nice for me. Having you there.”
Shame on Jacob Black!!! You know, I never knew why he took a turn with the perimeter when there was 7 vamps and he still had his regular patrol...I figured it was so that Bella knew he was looking out for her...but this is even better and I never even considered it. He also wanted to give our Edward some more mental hell...the dog!
***And it was a cold night in more ways than one. The mutt continued a deluge of insults and offenses whenever he was close enough to be sure I could hear. He imagined ways to win her back, as he thought or, at times, how to beat me in a fight, preferably to the death.
And thank you thank you thank you on the additional insights as Edward reads Withering Heights!!!
You know, I think that the problems Bella has in Eclipse is that she patters her 'choices'--or was that SM's doing?--after this crazy book. She should have picked a better book! Now we've got poor Edward who already believes himself a monster dealing with this too:
***How did she see me? Was I Heathcliff or Edgar – the man she married; wealthy, well mannered, educated, pale… The man Catherine saw as worthy of marriage and loved in a shallow way, but was never truly her soul mate… Heathcliff was the man she could be herself with, her lover, her playmate…
Bella would never be as selfish as Catherine – to insist on keeping both her husband and her lover, to marry a man simply for his wealth… and I wasn’t truly Edgar. I was a monster. I was more Heathcliff then she’d care to admit – but in her story, was I?
Was this why she refused my proposal? Was this why she’d insisted on his constant companionship? Deep down, did she know her Heathcliff was not the monster beside her, but the one that ran the parameter this night?
That crazy book has just given him more reasons to doubt himself...Perhaps we should think of some acceptable classical literature for Stephanie to pattern her next book after :)
***And yet, I could relate to Heathcliff. Despite appearances or Bella’s belief to the contrary, I was a monster – not the couth, genteel Edgar and Jacob was not Heathcliff. Sure he was a monster like myself, but I knew his mind and he would not sit idly by and watch is Catherine marry another as long as he could help it… He could never be that self sacrificing. No, I was Heathcliff and I’d fight for her to realize it. I needed her like I needed blood. My fingers few back another worn dog eared page. Heathcliff’s words rang true. Interesting that Edward thought he wasn't self-sacrificing...he needed her like he needed blood...great imagery...I mean vampire imagery.
OKAY... ***NEWSFLASH*** I have never read that stupid book and after the havoc it created in Eclipse, I have no desire to ever read it...(Although I do like Eclipse very much...thank you!!!!)
I just liked this line. I'd always wondered why he let the book fall to the floor when clearly she'd be back asleep in minutes...but here is his ultimate #1 reason for everything he does:
***. I dropped the book to the floor, freeing my hands which begged to embrace her.
I love love love how you add all of the little Edward comments that we don't hear from our girl Bella. (Drat that human hearing!) And of course his analogy to that stupid book...fantastic!!!
***“You will be mine…” I whispered to her sleeping form… Ah yes, there were things for which I could relate to Heathcliff. I would continue to stand by as Bella continued to enjoy the mutt’s company – but I would not be as careless as to let her slip through my fingers toward Edgar… If I could at all help it, I would be both. Sounds like the set up for the Jacob kiss...the gloves are off...our contestants are in the ring...
Then of course there is your parting paragraph! Always back to his control...and his need to be what she needs...and what he wants...Wow that sounds like a line for a soap opera.
***Somewhere between the conviction of my mind and the jealousy of my heart, my body got carried away. There was just something addictive about her presence. I couldn’t get enough of her. It wasn’t until her heart sped out of control and she was gasping for air that I finally pulled myself away, fleeing from the house under the guise of picking up my car. In truth, I had to flee the beast within that was about to escape the careful confines of my control.
Once again Erica. you're writing for Edward is my most favorite of all!!!!! Thanks a gazillion:) -
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Permalink Reply by Erica on
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Hey Tami - first of all - THANK YOU!!!
I really like this line because he is so furious and he is so adamant that she remain human but here we see that he really wants her for himself...at all costs!!! Away from the mutt!!!
>> Thanks...
I like this line because we see from Carlisle's mind that he wants to have the newborns join them and become peaceable. Brings new meaning to why Edward petitioned Jane with Brie:
>> I hadn't even though the situation with Brie... but yeah - it does. :-)
Poor Edward so worried about if Bella loves Jacob...asking Alice...he is really a mess!
I also like how he took out the Vanquish to calm him self down...maybe that is why later, he offers that car to Jacob when he needs the same. Interesting idea Erica!!!! Kudos!!!!!
>> Again, thank you... :-)
This was great:
***I gripped the steering wheel and heard it creak. Whoa. I need to take it easy. I just replaced it. I got out of the car and ran instead
***Sigh*** You can almost hear a golden oldie from the 50's (Edward's favorite era) 'Why Must I Be A Teenage Vampire In Love?'
>> chuckles... I love your tune suggestion... :-)
And thank you thank you thank you on the additional insights as Edward reads Withering Heights!!!
You know, I think that the problems Bella has in Eclipse is that she patters her 'choices'--or was that SM's doing?--after this crazy book. She should have picked a better book! Now we've got poor Edward who already believes himself a monster dealing with this too:
>> It is interesting just how similar the stories are... and to be honest, I wouldn't recommend it. I agree with Edward - it is horrid. I don't understand why Bella liked it so much. But I felt it was important to skim through and refer to because, clearly, he found this important and affected how he saw their relationship... I read some, skimed some... but I don't think I'd ever recommend it...
OKAY... ***NEWSFLASH*** I have never read that stupid book and after the havoc it created in Eclipse, I have no desire to ever read it...(Although I do like Eclipse very much...thank you!!!!)
>> Again, not something I would recommend...
I love love love how you add all of the little Edward comments that we don't hear from our girl Bella. (Drat that human hearing!) And of course his analogy to that stupid book...fantastic!!!
Sounds like the set up for the Jacob kiss...the gloves are off...our contestants are in the ring...
>> Thank you! :-)
Then of course there is your parting paragraph! Always back to his control...and his need to be what she needs...and what he wants...Wow that sounds like a line for a soap opera.
>> And finally - thank you!!!
I really appreciate all your feedback - hearing what you liked the most is so encouraging! :-) thank you, thank you, thank you... -
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Permalink Reply by Erica on
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Chapter 12: Time
NOTE: Thanks again to alias (Amel ahmed) my beta reader!
“You’ve got to tell her.”
But I want it to be a surprise, Alice whined at me.
I glared back, “Alice, I want her to enjoy her human experiences… not dread them. Remember prom.”
“But…”
“Alice, you’ve already seen it. You know how she’ll react.”
She glared back at me frustrated as the images briefly flickered through her mind. She’d tried to hide it, but of course, I’d seen it. I don’t know why she bothered to try and hide her mind from me. There it was: My bringing Bella back to the house. The place full of people, dancing, food…
“What? What is this?” She shrieked.
“A party – specifically a surprise graduation party.” Alice had skipped up.
Bella’s face had blanched white. I feared she was going to faint, before she bolted up the stairs, locking herself in my room, while Alice and I fought about whether she was going to break down the door and drag Bella back out.
“Okay, fine…” Alice sighed… and her vision began to shift.
Alice was excitedly talking Bella into her plans. Bella, as expected, was balking at them. She was frowning, but no blanched skin. She was complaining, but not locking herself in a room…
See, she’s not going to be happy either way. Can’t I just have my fun?
“Alice.” I warned as Bella walked up. I quickly relieved her of her book bag as Alice launched in without any further thought.
“I have foreseen…”
I growled lowly and attempted to elbow her in the side, which she saw coming as we made our way to the car. I let Alice neatly explain her plan… more accurately talk Bella into her plan as I admired the way her blouse lay against her skin and the scent of her hair – her scent mixed with strawberries… She intoxicated me.
Edward, please just wait until I get out of the car. Alice wrinkled her nose as the image of our future embrace filled her mind.
“Just stop looking,” I murmured too low for Bella to hear, as I reached over and mussed Alice’s hair, which she again deftly avoided.
I could tell her I need to take her shopping now for her party – and you won’t get any of your fun this afternoon. You know I could convince her.
“Amazing, how someone so tiny can be so annoying,” I said for both Bella’s and my benefit as she reluctantly agreed to the party.
Alice laughed, “It’s a talent.”
“Couldn’t you have waited a few weeks to tell me about this?” Bella pouted, “Now I’ll just be stressed that much longer.”
Alice frowned. Doesn’t she realize what day it is? What are you doing to her Edward?
The thought had also occurred to me. She was normally so responsible – how could she not realize graduation was only a week away? Perhaps it as simply a momentary lapse. But as Alice spun her around to show her the graduation poster on a nearby pole as we approached the parking lot, I could see she was truly surprised. And, as the color drained from her face, dismayed.
“It’s the fourth? Of June? Are you sure?”
What possibly could have distracted her so much that she didn’t realized what day it was?
Look at that Edward – you’ve been pressuring her so much with the studying, she can’t even figure out what day it is… The girl needs a little fun.
I frowned in return. Perhaps it was simply that.
“It can’t be! How did that happen?” She exclaimed as I watched disbelief cross her face. I could see her mind clicking into gear, searching for a reasonable explanation for her lapse... followed by a flurry of emotions – stress, panic, worry, sadness and finally anxiety. I cursed the silence of her mind as her face went blank and I still had no idea what was bothering her.
She can’t possibly be this dismayed about the party.
If it was, she’d snap out of it in a bit… But I began to wonder if it was something more as I held out the car door and she stepped in absently, and stared out the window. There was something else – something more significant then a graduation party. That, she would hate… and dread… but this was more – and it seemed to circulate around graduation. She couldn’t possibly be worried about her grades… about being able to graduate, could she? No, she had excellent grades.
Do you think all the stuff with her clothes missing and the killings in Seattle is causing more stress then she’s letting on? Alice guessed as she began to chat on incessantly, filling the awkward silence. The vampire in her room did seem to bother her.
I frowned. Yes it did, but not like this. In fact, she’d taken it all in stride, much better then I’d expected – like anything else I’d exposed her to in my monstrous existence. Could it be that it all suddenly caught up with her? No, why would graduation trigger that?
I tried to give her time to return to me – to share with me the catastrophic realization that had captured her blasted silent mind. But my patience lasted all of thirty seconds before I first reached over and drew a piece of hair from her face – a move that previously would have drawn her form her revelry and awarded me with her beautiful smile – nothing. Not even a change from staring out the window so I could at least see into her eyes.
Alice continued her incessant chatter about the party, but she was now throwing in random references to exaggerated facts – or at least I hoped they were – about 200 guests… and stilettos… and a strapless dress (okay those last two I completely hoped were true)… and finally joking about having to make an entrance onto an elevated rotating platform as the guest of honor…All this, in an attempt to elicit some reaction… still nothing.
My concern had turned to full out worry as I dropped of Alice at the entrance to our driveway. “Bye Bella.” She said. Bella gave no response.
“Please, Alice. Can’t you see when she will come out of this? What is wrong?”
You know I have no idea what is wrong, and as far as when, there are too many possibilities… I can get flickers but nothing definite. I think it has to do with you – when or how you will try to draw her out or if you wait… I’m just not sure, Edward. She ducked her head and I saw again the doubts that had been plaguing her lately. I can see she will still be at graduation, so it must end sometime.
“Thanks Alice.”
Good luck…She hesitated and then turned back. And Edward. I think… give her time. Let her talk it out. I’ll be by later for patrol.
I waved and pulled back out on the highway. The ride back to town was torturous. Without Alice’s constant external and internal dialogue, the silence in the car… of her mind… was maddening.
Watching her the entire way back to her house, part of mind was constantly monitoring her vitals: her pale face – now almost white, her heart rate – still within normal parameters, her breathing – also normal, the blank expression… painful. If only she’d turn her head so I could see her eyes. All the while another part of my vampire brain played and replayed the events of this afternoon, now checking for any additional piece of information that might shed some light on her current state. I looked for little things that might, in context, have some significant meaning. There had been Mike Newton, standing near the sign. He’d half waved as Bella looked his way until I’d given him a menacing look… Immediately after, Jessica Stanley glared at Bella as she gave Mike a greedy smile and captured his attention… There had been another, younger student – Jason was his name – who’d been wearing a big wolf t-shirt. He’d passed by about the same time… Then, in the distance, one of the formerly single female teachers was showing her colleague her engagement ring… Each observance sprung to my mind, reeling in multiple possible explanations for her current state.
We arrived at the house. I opened her door and reached for her bag. For a few seconds she made no effort to move. Should I call Carlisle? This can’t be normal…
Just as I reached for her hand, she mechanically stood up and headed for the door. I snatched my hand back. Only half way up the drive did I dare try placing it in the small of her back… She didn’t even notice.
She at least followed my leading and came with me to the sofa. Here in her home, where she would feel safest – maybe here she would finally relieve me of my torture and let me in… tell me what was wrong.
My mind wandered back to the party… Had she really heard all of Alice’s ridiculous proposals… was this what was causing her almost catatonic state? Another image flashed to my mind – the one so clearly shared by her best friend – the dog – when they’d found her after I left… then the less clear human images still in Charlie’s mind of her lying motionless on her bed… I’d been an idiot. If only back then I’d told her everything. I could have saved us both the pain. What if I’d broken her permanently? What if she was slipping back into that state? What if Charlie found us like this when he got off his evening shift? He’d blame me – and rightfully so. I’d broken his daughter.
Could it simply be about the party? Had Alice misjudged Bella’s reaction – or simply not seen far enough ahead… Perhaps when she thought she had weeks to prepare herself, the prospect had seemed less daunting then when faced with it a week away…
I doubted my judgment. Maybe I should have left it as a surprise. It was only last year’s experience with prom that had discouraged me from letting that happen again. But she’d recovered from that rather quickly.
Could it be as simple as that? I could easily call off the party. Sure, Alice would be upset, but that was much less important now. I’d been wrong to go along with this – forcing Bella into her human experiences. In fact, Alice could still have her party, but I’d take Bella out – just her and I. Yes, she’d like that much better.
But something told me it was bigger then that… This was not Bella having a reaction to an uncomfortable social situation. There was something else… Again I cursed her silent mind.
She’d been in her state for two hours, twenty-six minutes, forty-seven seconds when I decided I couldn’t take it anymore. My gentle touches and casual caresses were having no effect. Carefully gauging my pressure amidst my near madness, I cupped her fragile face in my hands and prepared to kiss her fiercely when, at long last, her eyes focused on mine. It was a faint relief.
“Would you please tell me what you are thinking? Before I go mad?”
Her lips pursed. Her heart beat sped up. Her breathing stopped all together. Oh, no, what had I done? Firmly, to hide my frantic panic I ordered, “Your lips are white. Talk Bella.”
She released a huge breath of air and her scent poured over me, enveloping me… But this time it took minimal effort to keep myself at bay.
“The date took me off guard,” she whispered, “That’s all.”
That’s all? You’ve been silent for over five hours because a date took you off guard? I don’t think so. She wasn’t going to get away with that. But at least she was talking. I was about to prod her for more when I could see in her eyes she was forming her next response… Alice’s words echoed in my head – let her talk it out. I held myself, waiting for her explanation for the torture she’d put me through all afternoon and evening.
“I’m not sure what to do… what to tell Charlie… what to say… how to…” she trailed off.
“This isn’t about the party?” I clarified as my mind fit the latest pieces into the puzzle of her mind. Her words… the emotions now on her face… the keys to what was wrong.
She frowned, “No. But thanks for reminding me.”
I would have laughed in relief at seeing her petulant expression, except that, at the same moment, a chill settled into my already frozen body as I solved the mystery – the other event that was scheduled to follow graduation… far more significant than any party.
“You’re not ready.” I whispered. The knowledge should have thrilled me, should have been the joy of my existence – that some part in her being was fighting for life. So why was it that my ice cold heart sunk in my chest? Why did I have to fight so hard to keep my disappointment – no heart break from clouding my carefully placid expression?
“I am,” she lied, unconvincingly, “I have to be.”
No. I would not allow her to become like me – to give up life - just for me… “You don’t have to be anything.”
“Victoria… Jane… Caius, whoever was in my room…”
“All the more reason to wait,” I argued. They should not dictate her destiny.
“That doesn’t make any sense, Edward.”
I saw I had this once chance, this one opportunity to impress upon her all the reasons she should be changed. Here… Now… as she wavered on her conviction, as she was grasping to life as she should. This was my opportunity to be noble. “Bella. Not one of us had a choice. You’ve seen what it’s done… to Rosalie especially. We’ve all struggled, trying to reconcile ourselves with something we had no control over. I won’t let it be that way for you. You will have a choice.”
“I’ve already made my choice.” She insisted, though there was no conviction in her voice.
“You aren’t going through with this because a sword is hanging over your head. We will take care of the problems, and I will take care of you.” I vowed, now wondering how long she would stay with me if she wasn’t changed. “When we’re through it, and there is nothing forcing your hand, then you can decide to join me, if you still want to.” I swallowed, re-gathering my conviction. “But not because you’re afraid. You won’t be forced into this.”
“Carlisle promised,” she mumbled, “After graduation.”
“Not until you’re ready.” I said with more conviction then I felt. I’d become much less certain of my creator… my father for all intent and purposes in this life. Would he still change her, even after I explained my concerns? Or would he agree with Bella – that it was the safest thing. “And definitely not while you feel threatened.” I followed up for good measure.
She didn’t answer but returned into her silent mind. My anxiety returned for seventeen seconds until I saw her expression relax… “There” I kissed her forehead, “Nothing to worry about.”
She let out an uneven laugh, “Nothing but impending doom.”
“Trust me,” I reassured here. We would let nothing get to her. Between us and the dog we had her guarded at all times.
“I do.”
The words warmed my heart and for once I felt maybe I could deserve that trust. If I could convince her to stay human, despite my more selfish desires. If I could convince her to cling to life, perhaps I’d be worthy of her… perhaps she’d, one day, say those words in another context… would she ever consider that… committing to her life and to me?
“Can I ask you something?” She broke me from my thoughts.
“Anything”
She worried her lip and I prepared myself for the worst.
“What am I getting Alice for graduation?”
I chuckled. This was clearly not the question she was worrying about asking, “It looked like you were getting us both concert tickets-”
“That’s right!” She said relieved, a smile hinting at her cheeks that tempted me… “the concert in Tacoma. I saw an ad in the paper last week, and I thought it would be something you’d like, since you said it was a good CD.”
“It’s a good idea. Thank you.” I replied absently as I noticed the crease reappear between her eyes.
“I hope it’s not sold out.”
“It’s the thought that counts. I ought to know.” Or at least I would if I could read hers.
She sighed, the momentary lapse in her tense expression now gone.. the vacant expression beginning to make an appearance.
“There’s something else you mean to ask.” I prodded.
She frowned, “You’re good.”
Not good enough… “I have lots of practice reading your face. Ask me.” I braced myself.
Instead she closed her eyes and leaned in. I felt the warm glow as her face hit my chest and my arms wrapped themselves around her automatically… Here she felt safe… Here I felt at home.
“You don’t want me to be a vampire.” She said softly.
I waffled for less then a second… I would be worthy of her… “No, I don’t” I replied waiting for more. “That’s not a question.” I prompted when the silence and absence of her eyes became too much for me.
“Well… I was worrying about … why you feel that way.”
“Worrying?” the word blurted out of my mouth. What would there be to worry about my not wanting her to give up her life to become a monster. She was truly baffling.
“Would you tell me why? The whole truth, not sparing my feelings?”
Her feelings? Why would I have to spare her feelings? Her feelings were exactly what I have been trying to spare. “If I answer your question, will you then explain your question?”
I felt her head nod against my chest. I inhaled deeply, breathing her in to my body once again, feeling the familiar burn in my throat that told me she was alive, as I formulated my words.
“You could do so much better, Bella. I know that you believe I have a soul, but I’m not entirely convinced on that point, and to risk yours…” But at that moment I could see it – Alice’s vision for us. Both of us immortal, together for eternity. It swam temptingly before my eyes as I shook my head trying to rid it from my mind.
“For me to allow this – to let you become what I am just so that I’ll never have to lose you – is the most selfish act I can imagine. I want it more than anything, for myself. But for you, I want so much more. Giving in – it feels criminal. It’s the most selfish thing I’ll ever do, even if I live forever.
“If there were any way for me to become human for you – no matter what the price was, I would pay it.”
I feared I’d said too much… Would my words only encourage her to change for me… She was selfless. She would make that sacrifice…for me. Perhaps I shouldn’t have shared quite so much. It had been selfish of me to do that – unburden myself so freely of all that was on my mind and now her silence worried me more.
But just as her reactions had always surprised me, she surprised me again as her body relaxed in my arms. I felt the curve of the corner of her mouth forming a smile against my chest. What was going on in that confounded mind of hers?
“So… it’s not that you’re afraid you won’t… like me as much when I’m different – when I’m not soft and warm and I don’t smell the same? You really do want to keep me, no matter how I turn out?”
What? I exhaled the breath of air that had held her scent inside me in shocked reaction to her. “You were worried I wouldn’t like you?” How incredibly ridiculous… misguided… how could she have judged me so wrongly? How could she not see that my love was so great I’d suffer the rest of my days just so she wouldn’t have to lose her life for me? It was hilarious…
All the tension flowed out in a laugh, “Bella for a fairly intuitive person, you can be so obtuse.”
But this was much like when I’d so mistakenly left last fall and she’d believed my words so easily. Perhaps I hadn’t told her enough – perhaps I needed to open up to her more – to not protect her so much from the intensity of my love for her so she’d really know how I felt.
“I don’t think you realize how much easier it will be for me, Bella, when I don’t have to concentrate all the time on not killing you. Certainly, there are things I’ll miss… This for one…” I pulled her from my chest and stroked her cheek anticipating the beautiful flush of color that had once only tempted my thirst but now tempted me in so many other ways I hadn’t realized even existed.
She hid her eyes in embarrassment and I chuckled gently, and I heard her heart beat quicken.
“And the sound of your heart,” The one thing I’d truly grieve the loss of, “It’s the most significant sound in the world. I’m so attuned to it now, I swear I could pick it out from miles away. But neither of these things matter. This.” I said cupping her face in my hand again, “You. That’s what I’m keeping. You’ll always be my Bella. You’ll just be a little more durable.”
She sighed, closing her eyes and for once I didn’t mind it as she also leaned into my hand in contentment. It was heaven holding her like this, happy, serene… But I’d laid my heart bare and there was one question that still plagued me… a question about us… a question about our future… a question that I wanted to ask desperately but not for it to be thrown aside. I needed to know how she’d respond first.
“Now will you answer a question for me? The whole truth, not sparing my feelings?”
“Of course.” Her eyes flashed open, filled with surprise.
I braced myself, hoping she would find a way to let me down without shattering my long dead heart. I briefly reconsidered. Did I really want to know? No, but I needed to. The words were harder to say then I’d anticipated. “You don’t want to be my wife.”
I could barely keep my eyes focused on hers as I saw the panic rise and heard her heartbeat race. So I had my answer then. In the choice of flight or fight, her body was clearly opting for flight. The pain was almost as crippling as when she tossed my proposal away so carelessly. But this time I was prepared and I would hear her out… I had to.
“That’s not a question.” She finally whispered, hedging against her requirement to respond.
It was too much. I couldn’t see the rejection in her eyes, to know with such certainty that there was no hope – that as much as she cared for me, she didn’t feel the same way. I’d been living in a dream these past two years. A precious gift… and perhaps it would be all the fates had planned for me.
I decided then that I wouldn’t leave like before. I’d stay as long as she’d let me… but I’d always know the day was coming when there would be another. Someone she would say “yes” to. And I would let her go.
I focused on her precious hands feeling their warmth in mine. Remembering the first day she touched me in the meadow. How much longer would I have these hands to hold before another took my place? Though I hated it, I pushed her for more – pushed me to face reality. “I was worrying about why you felt that way.”
“That’s not a question, either.”
I couldn’t do this… “Please, Bella?” I begged.
“The truth?” I only heard the passing air escape her lips forming the words…
“Of course.” I replied, finding some measure of strength, “I can take it, whatever it is.”
She took a deep breath… it seemed she held it for a century before it returned her words to me, “You’re going to laugh at me.”
Unthinkingly my eyes flashed to her face, seeking out hers. Was she serious… I’d never known her to be callous. “Laugh? I cannot imagine that.”
“You’ll see.” She muttered, looking at me, embarrassed… her face flushed darker and darker shades of red as I guarded my actions, locking my body in place so as to not hurt her in some sudden reaction to the horrible truth. She didn’t love me.
“Okay, fine!” She blurted out, “I’m sure this will sound like some big joke to you, but really! It’s just so… so… so embarrassing!” She flung her face against my chest as I puzzled over her words.
Embarrassing for me – sure. After I’d declared my love… my intentions… and she’d made it perfectly clear that she didn’t feel the same way. And now her recent indecision on changing. But why then would it matter if I still wanted her? Was this some game? Was she embarrassed because she’d been playing me simply to gain immortality? No, I couldn’t believe that Bella was capable of such things… “I’m not following you,” I uttered in absolute confusion, as my arms began to slowly make their way to her side.
She pulled up suddenly, anger flashing from her eyes, “I’m not that girl, Edward. The one who gets married right out of high school like some small-town hick who got knocked up by her boyfriend! Do you know what people would think? Do you realize what century this is? People don’t just get married at eighteen! Not smart people, not responsible, mature people! I wasn’t going to be that girl! That’s not who I am…”
I sat dumfounded at her anger… waiting for the hammer to fall… or the axe that would forever cut my cold heart from my chest. It never came. “That’s all?” I asked when it was clear she would say no more.
“Isn’t that enough?”
Hope was threatening to spring anew. I had to hold it at bay… to know the truth, “It’s not that you were… more eager for immortality itself than for just me?”
And more then her anger had caught me by surprise, her laughter shocked me… Her beautiful musical laughter that watered the seed of hope that blossomed in my chest. She gasped between her laughter, “Edward! And here… I always… thought that… you were… so much… smarter than me!”
In my relief, I joined her, my body enveloping hers, confirming her presence in my life. Her warmth driving away the freezing cold I’d allowed to settle through to my core as I’d awaited her judgment.
“Edward,” she spoke again as the laughter died away, “there’s no point in forever without you. I wouldn’t want one day without you.”
“Well, that’s a relief.” The words were woefully inadequate to describe the energy that flowed through me now.
“Still… it doesn’t change anything.”
“It’s nice to understand though.” And as I said the words I realized I did understand. I could see the classmates whispering in the hallways… the gossips at the grocery store... Charlie… of course they’d all assume the worst and the latter would likely try an attempt on my life. And then I saw her life from her perspective: Parents who’d gotten married out of high school. That had lasted a few short years before she’d become the child of a broken home – passed between parents on holidays or school breaks… She never had the vision of marriage as forever that I’d known in my human life. She hadn’t lived for decades with three perfectly matched, blissful couples whose strengths and weaknesses complemented each other completely. She never knew of two becoming one in such a way they became defined by each other without really losing themselves. How could she have known? How could I help her understand what I saw, how I saw us and marriage – what I wanted for our lives?
The thoughts and images flooded through my mind in a heart beat – not enough time for her to have noticed the pause. And yet I felt the need to acknowledge my revelation. “And I do understand your perspective, Bella, truly I do. But I’d like it very much if you’d try to consider mine.”
She fought it… She didn’t want to put herself in my place and I knew I’d have to be my most persuasive self to make her see how marriage could be – what it had been to me. I fixed my gaze upon her as I began. “You see, Bella, I was always that boy. In my world, I was already a man. I wasn’t looking for love.” The fuzzy picture of that part of my human life suddenly came sharply into view, reading over the propaganda posters of the early twentieth century, listening to the recruiters in the town scare, dreaming of beating the evil Germans… “No, I was far too eager to be a soldier for that; I thought of nothing but the idealized glory of the war that they were selling prospective draftees then – but if I had found…” someone? No, nobody but Bella would have drawn my attention from my sense of purpose. “I was going to say if I had found someone, but that won’t do. If I had found you, there isn’t a doubt in my mind how I would have proceeded. I was that boy, who would have - as soon as I discovered that you were what I was looking for – gotten down on one knee and endeavored to secure your hand. I would have wanted you for eternity, even when the word didn’t have quiet the same connotations.”
The vision… the dream came back then, her walking down the isle on her fathers arm, now toward me, only she was now wearing a high necked, full sleeved dress in the style of my youth. I took her hand from her father as she said yes to me for all time. I smiled at the image, seeing her now, wide eyed looking back at me. Her breathing stopped…. Her heart beat sped up… It alarmed as much as pleased me that I had that affect on her.
“Breath, Bella.” I reminded her, still basking in the warmth and beauty of the picture I wished she could see for herself. “Can you see my side, Bella, even a little bit?”
Maybe it was hopeful thinking, but for a brief second I thought maybe she could… maybe she would, someday, agree to be mine.
“The thing is, Edward.” She said shakily, “in my mind, marriage and eternity are not mutually exclusive or mutually inclusive concepts. And since we’re living in my world for the moment, maybe we should go with the times, if you know what I mean.”
I did know what she meant… and yet I wasn’t prepared to give up on the dream. Hope had sprung up fast and furious and I had begun to believe that maybe even this was possible. “But on the other had,” I argued, “You will soon be leaving time behind you altogether. So why should the transitory customs of one local culture affect the decision so much?”
She pursed her lips, “When in Rome?”
Fast on a Saturday? I thought with amusement. “You don’t have to say yes or no today, Bella. It’s good to understand both sides, though, don’t you think?”
“So your condition…?”
“Is still in effect. I do see your point, Bella, but if you want me to change you myself…”
“Dum, dum dah-dum.” She hummed – and it only stung a little that it sounded like a dirge.
She slept peacefully that night as my mind wandered over our discussion. It had been a mistake to keep so much of myself from her; all the doubt, the uncertainty… if we’d only had this discussion months ago… I always assumed she couldn’t handle the truth – who we were, the realities of our world, the intensity of my love. Each time she took it in stride… I’d given her a lot to think about as well, I realized as I thought about my new appreciation for how she saw things – like love and marriage. This understanding didn’t change how I felt… what I believed was right. No. I had to make her mine – commit to her for eternity before I’d take her in any way. But the understanding lessoned the sting.
And the truth shall set you free… I smiled as the words floated to mind. At least now I knew it wasn’t me she was rejecting. Or was it? The voices of doubt flooded back. If I was the right one for her would her views have changed? Would she ever willingly commit to me?
“Edward?” Her murmuring interrupted the dark path my thoughts had taken me, and I let the rest of my thoughts go as I enjoyed the mystery of her dreams.
The next morning, I quickly made my way back to pick up Bella, thinking over the discussion with Carlisle this morning.
“Alice told me what happened yesterday, and how you worked it out. I’m pleased to see you opening up to Bella.” She’s more resilient then I would have thought.
I nodded, “We had a good discussion… but… Carlisle, you won’t change her like this – not when she’s afraid.”
He collected his thoughts before speaking. “Edward, I think that is between her and me. If I think she’s ready to make the decision I will change her, with or without your agreement.”
I frowned.
But Edward, I think she will find a way to allow you to do it. Maybe your discussion will benefit the two of you in more ways then one…
I hoped so.
“I wonder…” he continued, “if part of her fear is the fact that everything is going on around her. If this involves her future, perhaps she should be a part of the discussion.”
My heart sank. Bringing Bella in to the details of this particular discussion was not something I wanted to do…
“Just think about it Edward. She’s handled everything else better then we’d have expected.”
I knew he was right. Hadn’t I thought the very same thing last night – it had been a mistake to keep things from her? Still I wondered if it was the right thing to do.
I quickly jogged up the steps after Charlie left for his day shift, knocking once and letting myself in when I didn’t hear her come straight for the door.
I found her studiously reading the paper. At first it was endearing, but then I noticed the paper tremble… Her hands were shaking, her heart skipped a beat. “Bella?”
She whirled around and gasped. Unthinkingly I launched myself to her side. Guilt consumed me. “Did I startle you? I’m sorry. I did knock…” I engaged her in conversation as I subtly checked her temperature and pulse.
“No, no,” she replied, “Have you seen this?” she gestured to the paper.
SEATTLE TERRORIZED BY SLAYINGS
I scanned the article in seconds. Serial killer… 39 linked homicides and disappearances in the last three months alone… gang activity… bodies burned… use of accelerant, like gasoline or alcohol – or vampire venom - …brutal violence… no evidence… disappeared at night…
I was nearing the end of the article when the last section caught my attention.
‘And the most alarming pattern? Acceleration. .Six of the homicides were committed in the first month, 11 in the second. Twenty-two have occurred in the last 10 days alone...
Jasper was right. This is no out of control newborn. This was now several out of control newborns… and if someone was creating several newborns and then just letting them loose – it was only going to get worse.
“I hadn’t seen today’s news yet.” I told her, “But I knew it was getting worse. We’re going to have to do something… quickly.” before the Volturi step in.
“What does Alice say?” Bella asked.
“That’s the problem.” We’d asked her again and again. Each time we checked we got the same answer. “She can’t see anything… though we’ve made up our minds half a dozen times to check it out. She’s starting to lose confidence. She feels like she’s missing too much these days, that something’s wrong. That maybe her vision is slipping away.” I was surprised to hear myself putting to words the doubts I’d heard in Alice’s mind. I hadn’t told anyone and yet I now felt completely free to voice my concerns to Bella.
“Can that happen?” She asked, wide-eyed.
“Who knows? No one’s ever done a study… but I really doubt it. These things tend to intensify over time. Look at Aro and Jane.”
“Then what’s wrong?”
Good question. We’d all been wondering the same thing and, again, I surprised myself by freely staring my theory. “Self-fulfilling prophecy, I think. WE keep waiting for Alice to see something so we can go… and she doesn’t see anything because we won’t really go until she does. So she can’t see us there. Maybe we’ll have to do it blind.”
“No.” she shuddered. For a moment I wondered again if I’d shared too much – but after a second she seemed fine. I considered my next actions carefully. I’d been protecting her. Had that been a mistake, much like not talking through our views on marriage and feelings about her changing? Was the unknown even worse then the known?
“Did you have a strong desire to attend class today? We’re only a couple of days from finals; they won’t be giving us anything new.”
“I think I can live without school for a day. What are we doing?”
“I want to talk to Jasper.” I held out my hand and she willing joined me… I just hoped bringing her into all this wasn’t a mistake.
***** to be continued ***** -
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Permalink Reply by Erica on
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***** chapter 12: Time - continued ******
I foresaw that you’d be coming, Alice chirped at me as we drove up. I gathered everyone together. We had a meeting – and we’re on board – well most of us.
At the same time I saw the memory of Rosalie’s vehement objection at the table and caught the tail end of her and Emmett’s argument in the kitchen as the others gathered around the television.
While I helped Bella out of the car and we made our way up the steps, I could hear the reporter on CNN discussing the case with an expert from Berkley.
“Yes, most serial killers have tell tail signs in the initiation and planning of their crime – age, gender, race, size, socio-economic status of the victim or times and locations and even staging the enactment of the crime. What makes this case so fascinating is that the similarities are not in the planning of the crime, but in the actual act and follow through – like the disposal… We’ve only seen this in 0.06% of cases. In fact, we have no documented cases in recent history.”
I grimaced as I opened the door to the house… ‘fascinating’ – only a human could find the study of a hoard of monsters on the loose fascinating.
“You said 0.06% of cases and also that there are no documented cases – how do you explain this?”
“There are no documented cases in recent history. There are some, less reliable, accounts of cases like this occurring in the southern US and Mexico over a century ago…”
“Hey Edward.” Emmett met us as he came through the kitchen. I could Rosalie fuming up in her room. “Ditching Bella?” he teased.
“We both are.” I replied.
Emmett laughed, “Yes, but it’s her first time through high school. She might miss something.”
I rolled my eyes and tossed the paper to Carlisle, “Did you hear that they’re considering a serial killer now?” I glanced meaningfully at Bella.
Yes… you must have heard… oh, we’re bringing Bella up to speed. “They’ve had two specialists debating that possibility on CNN all morning.” You missed the guy from the FBI… He thinks is gang activity.
“We can’t let this go on.” I stated my views up front.
“Let’s go now,” Emmett grinned as a joke occurred to him, “I’m dead bored.” Get it? dead?
Rosalie hissed from their room upstairs… Idiot…going to get himself killed – for what? For her?
“She’s such a pessimist.” Emmett muttered to himself.
Why now? What’s the rush? She continued to debate.
“We’ll have to go sometime.” I replied out loud, then lower and faster so she could hear, “Rosalie, consider the alternative.”
She wouldn’t respond but grudging agreed and a moment later she joined us in the living room.
Carlisle was shaking his head. Where he’d been anxious to take responsibility for the newborn when he thought he could reason with them, he worried what it would mean to go as a family and take care of them – permanently. “I’m concerned. We’ve never involved ourselves in this kind of thing before. It’s not our business. We aren’t the Volturi.”
Our eyes both flashed to Bella, but she was handling this all very well. “I don’t want the Volturi to have to come here. It gives us so much less reaction time.”
“And all those innocent humans in Seattle.” Esme murmured, “It’s not right to let them die this way.”
“I know.” Carlisle sighed, already reconciled to the inevitable.
What if it’s not just someone recklessly creating newborns? What if someone is very purposely creating newborns… a new born army?
Jasper’s thoughts drew my attention. “Oh. I didn’t think of that. I see. You’re right, that has to be it. Well, that changes everything.” A newborn army – could be much more difficult to deal with. We’d need to know the size, how organized… And why.
The others questioned my sudden comment, focusing their attention between the two of us. “I think you’d better explain to the others.” I advised him as I began to let my mind wander over this new piece of information. A new born army… organized… by who? “What could be the purpose of this?” I wondered as I began to aimlessly wander the room.
Edward, what is going on? Alice asked. But I shook my head as I went back to the beginning, the first reports of killings… filing through articles, news reports, anything that might give us a clue as to why this was happening. Could it be as simple as a fight for blood – a visitor from the south looking to lay claim to the city of Seattle? But why here? Why not somewhere closer to home and far more populous, like Los Angeles… the sun, I suppose. Seattle is a good location for vampires. But the killings have been at night… and who are they going to fight for the territory?
“You’re confused.” Jasper said, his focus on Bella, drawing my attention back to the conversation.
“We’re all confused.” Emmett grumbled.
“You can afford the time to be patient.” Jasper told him, “Bella should understand this, too. She’s one of us now.” I was warmed by the acknowledgement, especially in light of all that had happened last fall – and yet alarmed at where his thoughts were taking him. “How much do you know about me, Bella?”
Oh great – here comes the greatest American Soldier… Emmett rolled his eyes and dropped to the couch. We’ll be here all day.
“Not much.” She replied.
You never told her about me – about my past?
“No. I’m sure you can understand why I haven’t told her that story. But I suppose she needs to hear it now.” I conceded.
He caught my eyes. Are you sure?
“Yes.” I said too low for Bella’s ears, “You’re right, she needs to hear it all, if you’re right about this.”
He nodded and began rolling up his sleeves, displaying the crisscross pattern of hundreds of scars that would be unnoticeable to Bella’s eyes. He raised his wrist close to the light, highlighting one of the scars for Bella’s sight. I watched her intently, prepared for hysterics, prepared to draw her away as soon as it seemed too much for her.
“Oh” She gasped, “Jasper, you have a scar exactly like mine.” And she held out her hand to show the scar we could all see so clearly. I felt a pang as I remembered why she had it.
“I have a lot of scars like yours, Bella.”
The hundreds of memories of every bite, every battle, every scar earned flooded through his mind, overwhelming me as he pushed the sweater further up, holding his arm to the light so Bella could see the scars. I recalled the first time I’d seen for myself, the hundreds upon hundreds of scars, creating a scalloped pattern against his skin, overlapping in layers too numerous to consider. He’d look dangerous – still did… the sight of it still effected me as my body shifted into a slightly more defensive posture and venom pooled in my mouth.
Bella’s sudden intake of air drew me from the flood of memories and emotions – Jasper’s and my own. It had been too much. I shouldn’t have let him… Any normal person would be now running from the house. But Bella didn’t run. And I felt the reflected care and concern as she gasped. “Jasper, what happened to you?” -
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Permalink Reply by yuval sadde on -
Wow! That was great Erica! Please write chapter 13 quickly!
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