hey evryone! my fanfic go deleted for some reason so im putting it up again!! thank you to all my readers, you guys are great!!!
oh and if anyone could make me a banner that would be great!
authors note: all characters and most of the events belong to Stephenie Meyer. Im not taking credit for them, im just writing what edward is thinking thru out the book.
Fire, Ice, and Switzerland
Chapter 1: Impatience
I paced across the room. Only 20 minutes left until I could see Bella again. I thought about leaving now, so I could get there early just to hear her voice. I decided against it. I had to follow Charlie’s rules. I knew I deserved far worse for the pain I caused Bella while I was away. How could I have been so stupid?
I could hear all my all my family’s thoughts.
“We should go hunting in about two days.. I’ll go tell Esme.”
Carlisle was planning a hunting trip. I wasn’t going. I could never waste my time when I could have been spending it with Bella. No physical need was strong enough to overpower my love for her.
“Ugh! I dirtied my pants!”
Rosalie was tuning her car. I chuckled. She was so full of herself it made me laugh.
Emmett came into the room now. He saw my expression and he started laughing.
“What’s your problem?” I asked, trying to contain my smile.
“Gosh, dude, you are so impatient. You should really see your face right now.”
I did see my face in his thoughts. It looked like I was in serious pain. I laughed with him.
“Why don’t you go help Rosalie or something? It looks like she could use your help.”
At the same time we both heard, “Emmett!” coming from the garage. “Coming Rose! Hey see you later Edward.” Emmett laughed and ran to the garage.
My phone started vibrating in my pocket. I took it out. I set an alarm on my phone to buzz at 6:58, so I knew when to start running.
I flew out the door and started running towards Bella’s house.
As I was running, I thought about Bella’s ridiculous fear of running into trees. That was impossible. I could run with my eyes closed and still not collide with a tree. Even if I did run into a tree, only the tree would be getting hurt in that situation.
I was at her door now. I knocked 3 times. I heard her yell, “Coming!” I smiled slightly.
She threw the door open. There she was my personal miracle. She was beautiful. No, gorgeous, was better word. She never saw herself clearly. I saw her eyes sweep my face. I remembered the way she thought of me as a god or something crazy like that. I was anything but that.
She took my hand and said, “Hey. How was your day?” I raised our hands to my face. It set my throat burning. I barely noticed, after living thru thinking Bella was dead for a whole day changed everything. There was no way I could hurt her because I was afraid of drinking her blood. Just the idea set my stomach churning. I hated anything and everything that could possibly cause harm to her. Even myself.
This all happened in less than a second. She would never notice my hesitation. I responded, “Slow.” She didn’t know just how slow it really was for me.
“For me as well.” She replied. I took her hands and skimmed them with my nose all the way down to her wrist. She smelled wonderful. I could do this all day. I heard Charlie coming down the hall.
I dropped her hands from my face, still holding them. “Good evening, Charlie.” I paid attention to his thoughts now.
Hmph. Look at the way she looks at him. I wish I knew just exactly was going on between them.
He was also thinking about the conversation that happened just before I came. He leaned against the wall, folding his arms against his chest.
“I brought a set of college applications.” She groaned. I smiled. I knew how she despised them. Unnecessary, she once told me.
“There are still a few open deadlines. And a few places willing to make exceptions.” I started laughing at her grimace. I started walking in. “Shall we?”
Fine. I can’t complain. I wonder what he’s doing. With my luck, they’re going to the same college.
I saw Wuthering Heights on the table. What was she doing reading that again? I bet she had that memorized. I should probably read that. See what appeals to her so much.
“Speaking of college applications, Edward,” I was surprised he even said my name. “Bella and I were just talking about next year. Have you decided where you’re going to school?”
I smiled. It didn’t really matter where I was going to school, as long as I was with Bella I didn’t really care.
“Not yet. I’ve received a few acceptance letters.” Few, was an understatement, I thought to myself. I will never let anyone know how many exactly. I couldn’t keep it from Alice of course but she was an exception.
“Where have you been accepted?” I could hear the curiosity building inside Charlie.
“Syracuse, Harvard, Dartmouth, and… I just got accepted to the University of Alaska Southeast today.” I winked at Bella. She looked beautiful.
Charlie was shocked. WHOA! Defiantly not expecting that. Shouldn’t be surprised though. All those Cullen children got remarkable grades. Or that’s what I’ve heard.
“Harvard? Dartmouth? Well that’s pretty….that’s something.” I knew it. I knew they were going to the same college. How stupid do they think I am? But why should he pick that when he could go to Harvard for goodness sake!
I almost laughed. He continued, “Yeah, but the University of Alaska…you wouldn’t really consider that when you could go Ivy League. I mean, your father would want you to. . .”
“Carlisle’s always fine with whatever I choose to do.” When talking about colleges that is, I added in my head. He didn’t agree me keeping Bella human while I chose to stay with her. That would change if she would marry me. I wanted that more than anything.
“Hmph” Irresponsible parents.
I knew he didn’t really believe that. He was still angry with me. I didn’t blame him of course. I was angry with me as well. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Bella blush slightly. It was the most beautiful shade of pink I’ve ever seen. Focus Edward. I turned my attention back to the conversation.
“Guess what, Edward!” She smiled at me. It would have made my heart stop right then and there, if it were still beating.
“What Bella?” She pointed to an envelope sitting on the counter. Even though I couldn’t read Bella’s thoughts, though I wish I did, I knew what she was going to say. I saw it in Charlie’s head.
“I just got my acceptance to the University of Alaska!” What a shock, I thought to myself, sarcastically. Bella didn’t think she could be accepted into good colleges. But in truth, Bella was very smart.
I grinned. Her heart skipped a beat. I loved I could make her do that.
“Congratulations, what a coincidence” I knew it was anything but coincidence. This was our plan. Tell Charlie we were going far away for college and then we could make Bella a . . . vampire. It hurts just to think of it. I want her to stay human. Unless, well there is the option of her marrying me . . . but she refuses. What I would give just to peek into her mind.
He stared at the two of us for almost a minute. Fine. If that’s how they want it then who am I to stand in their way. I mean really no need to go to a father for any of this; he thought sarcastically, I just hope they know what they’re doing. I almost let my grimace show because in truth we didn’t. There has never been a relationship like Bella and I before.
“I’m going to watch the game, Bella. Nine-thirty.”
I read his thoughts some more. I realized that he ungrounded Bella. This surprised me. I guess he just thought to let her go today. I was happy. I wanted to bring her to my house. Esme missed her, as much as if it were her own daughter she hasn’t seen in weeks. I smiled as I thought about my mother.
“Er, Dad? Remember the very recent discussion about my freedom?”
Darn, I’m just so used to grounding her. Was I right to let her go now? Doesn’t matter anyway now.
“Bella’s no longer grounded?” I asked. I didn’t have to force emotion into my voice. I was very excited. I wondered if Bella would like to celebrate her freedom. Maybe I could take her to dinner or a movie. . . I should probably buy her something. That was one of the many things that confused me about Bella. She hated receiving gifts. Especially from me. I almost forgot it I was supposed to be paying attention to Charlie. I read what he just said from his mind. I replied to him, no one would notice I totally blocked him out.
“Conditionally” he said. “What’s it to you?”
It’s everything to me. I thought to myself.
“It’s just good to know. Alice has been itching for a shopping partner, and I’m sure Bella would love to see some city lights.”
NO! There is no way I’m letting him take her there. Seattle is out of the question. He started to remember a story he read in the newspaper.
I read it in his mind with complete horror.
I saw Charlie’s face turn purple then. He looked like he was about to explode. “No!” He almost yelled.
“Dad! What’s the problem?” Bella asked, very confused.
“I don’t want you going to Seattle right now,” he responded, taking deep breaths to calm himself.
But I wasn’t paying attention to them anymore. I’ve seen things like this before. I knew automatically what it was. I’ve seen in Jasper’s mind countless of times. There were vampires in Seattle. Newborns. Lots of them.
Who was making all these newborns? And why? Obviously, he/she didn’t know what they were doing. They were out of control. I have to speak to Jasper.
Bella rolled he eyes and said, “ Dad, there’s a better chance that I’ll get struck by lightning than that the one day I’m in Seattle~”
I couldn’t take Bella to Seattle. Not now, not ever. No harm will ever come to Bella because of what I am. I interrupted her.
“No, that’s fine, Charlie, I didn’t mean Seattle. I was thinking Portland actually. I wouldn’t have Bella in Seattle either. Of course not.”
Bella looked like she was about to argue. She didn’t know what monsters like myself were capable of doing. I had to tell her what really was happening in Seattle. I hated to frighten her. I grabbed the newspaper of the table and read the story for myself.
Well. At least he cares for Bella’s safety. Charlie thought to himself. Obviously, he doesn’t care for her feelings. If he did, he wouldn’t have left.
The fury built inside me, I struggled to push it back down. He has every right to be mad at me.
“Fine.” Charlie stalked out the room to watch the game.
“What…”, she started to ask.
“Hold on.” I knew Charlie was still listening. I slid a college application towards her. Her face puckered, the way I loved, and then she reluctantly started to fill it out.
I stared out the window, trying to organize my thoughts and resist the urge to stare at Bella. Something I could do for the rest of eternity.
I really wanted her to go to college. I know she would love it. She is just too eager to become an immortal that she doesn’t stop to consider the rest she was losing. Maybe time was the key.
Don’t get me wrong though, it would be a dream come true for Bella to become like me. But it would be the most selfish act I can imagine. To risk her soul and her life just so I could be with her forever.
Suddenly, Bella shoved the papers towards me. “Bella?”, I wondered.
“Be serious, Edward. Dartmouth?” The way she said my name made me smile. It was like an angel singing.
I gave her back the papers. “I think you’d like New Hampshire. There’s a full complement of night courses for me and the forests are very conveniently located for the avid hiker. Plentiful wildlife.” I grinned at her.
Her heart rate responded by picking up its rate. She took a deep breath. I smiled some more.
“I’ll let you pay me back if you want. I’ll even charge you interest.” Bella had some strange aversion for me spending money on her. Isn’t spending money on my girlfriend a normal thing to do? We Cullens barely noticed how much money we had. It didn’t bother us in the slightest. But Bella is a different story. She will never stop to surprise me.
“Like I could even get in without some enormous bribe. Or was that part of the loan? The new Cullen wing of the library? Ugh. Why are we having this discussion again?”
It was true. We did debate about college quite often. I keep telling her being a vampire is not what’s best for her. I don’t want to take her normal life away from her. I wish she could just realize the price she would pay if we followed thru with her plan. I would do whatever it takes to live her human life just a little bit longer.
“Will you just fill out the form, Bella? It won’t hurt you to apply.”
She got angry now. She reached for the forms now but I was faster. I took them and put them in my back pant pocket.
“Edward, that isn’t fair. I already told you. I don’t want to go to college. I want to be a monster, too.” She smiled a little bit. “I want to be with you. Forever.”
“There is nothing funny about monsters, Bella.” I showed her the article in the newspaper.
She just stared at me in confusion. “What does this have to do with anything?”
Finally, she understood. “Oh.”
“Bella, you have no idea how many times vampires show up in your news. But we know better. There are newborns in Seattle. Obviously, no one is controlling them but I we can’t figure out why he or she made them in the first place.”’
“You won’t let me be like that. We. . . we’ll move to Antarctica.”
“We could. If you wanted to. I was under the impression you liked the sun.”
“I hate the sun now. I have ever since I met you.”
This confused me.
“Well when the sun is out I don’t see you as much. Like. . .you don’t go to school. So I sorta despised the sun for making you go in hiding.”
I laughed. “You’re absurd.” She laughed with me, relived we moved to a different topic.”
But I wasn’t finished with this discussion.
“So, you would really move away, say to Antarctica, just to keep other people safe?”
“Well, yeah. Wouldn’t you?”
I thought about this for a second. I would. Just to be with her. I didn’t want to say that out loud. “Maybe somewhere less remote. Perhaps somewhere in Alaska?”
“Sure. Somewhere with grizzlies just for you and Emmett.” She replied.
It always surprised me when she spoke of vampires so casually. Like that was a perfectly normal thing, or as if she wasn’t scared of us at all.
“Even better though, there are polar bears and wolves.”
Her eyes were horror-struck and she gasped out loud.
“What’s wrong?” I stared at her until I realized what I said. Wolves. Of course! How could I say that out loud? I hated the fact she still cared for the filthy, smelly, disgusting, dog. Didn’t she understand how he could explode and kill her in less than a second? So could I, I reminded myself. No, I argued, I would never let my guard down. Every movement will be as if I’m holding a million-dollar bubble.
“Oh. I’m sorry. I didn’t realize, I didn’t think, I didn’t mean to offend you.” The words came out in a rush.
“No, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it.” She stared down, afraid to meet my gaze, I presumed.
I lifted her face. “Really, I am sorry.” It hurt to watch. Maybe I was doing something wrong. Maybe I should let her choose. But, maybe, she would choose him. And I wouldn’t have a meaning anymore.
“Edward, it’s fine. I know it’s not the same thing. It’s just, well, I was already thinking about him before you came.
I tried to control my expression before it became one of pain and rage. Sometimes, though, I swear she saw right thru me as I sometimes could do to her. I was always studying her. As I could not read her thoughts, I studied her body language. So I was very good at deciphering her thoughts and emotions without my gift.
She continued, “Edward, I need to go see him. He is in pain. It is all my fault.”
Emotions raged inside me. One emotion caught me by surprise. Jealousy.