The Twilight Saga

This is the sequel to my story about Renesmee and Jacob, called "Finding Myself". If you haven't read that one first, then you might want to do that. You can find it here:

http://www.thetwilightsaga.com/group/fanfiction/forum/topics/findin...

If you have read it, or you want to read this one without reading my other story first, just go ahead :)
It's about Nessie and Jacob's daughter, Elizabeth (Ellie), and everything is going on about 16 years after the ending of "Finding Myself". Please read and comment :)



"Elizabeth's Story"


Preface

As I ran through the rain I couldn't help but to look back at the darkness I had left behind me, the black abyss my life there had ended in. The regret I felt bubbling to the surface made my eyes sting and my chest hurt, and made a voice scream in the back of my head, begging for me to turn around. But it was to late now. There was no going back. All I could do now was run. Run until my body couldn't take any more pain. There was no way for me to live without what I left behind. All I could hope for now was an easy, pain free ending. That was all I could wished for, the tiny string of hope my life was dangling from.


Chapter 1, The Beginning (Ellie's point of view)

I looked up at the school building with a sigh. When I had dreamed of high school as a kid, this wasn't exactly how I had pictured it to be. However, this school had been part of the compromise between my parents and I. Ever since I was very young I had always been surrounded by my family, never left alone for one second. I had been home schooled all the way up until recently, and I had very seldom been around anyone my own age. Of course I knew the reason behind my overprotected childhood. It was something I could never forget, not even if my life stretched on into eternity. Everything was rooted at the start of my life, with the first sharp and vivid memory I ever made. The memory was not pleasant nor good, yet it was where everything began. I still wake up at night, drenched in sweat, seeing the red eyes of the monsters that took me. I remember everything about that day so clearly, even though I was just a baby when it happened. It was the first time I used my gift, the first time I felt guilty about anything, and the first time my entire family risked their lives to save me. So the reason behind me going to this school was clear, and I would have to accept it.

When I told my parents about my dream of going to a normal high school, I had gotten a blank no at first. I tried to persuade them into letting me go by myself, but they had insisted that if I was going to start at a normal high school, they would go there with me. Going to high school was something I wanted to do alone, something I could do to show them that I knew how to take care of myself, and that I wasn't a kid any more. In the end both my mom and dad had agreed to settle for a compromise. I could go to high school without them, if they got to choose the school for me. I though I would have been happy with what ever school they chose for me, pleased as long as I could do something on my own, but that was before I saw what they had picked. They had chosen one of the most secure and guarded private schools in our area, with only a few hundred pupils. The test you had to take to get in was hard and demanding, and the school went through a strict background check before you were accepted. Everything was structured, every day felt almost the same, and every teacher taught the same way. The high school I had been dreaming of had become something I dreaded, but I would take it as long as it meant I could be normal just for a little while.

And with the private school came the school uniform. I didn't really mind that part. Actually, it was the one part I really liked about the school. It allowed me to blend in and be like every one else for a few hours five days a week. Alice on the other hand hated the uniform. She had made a few adjustments to the black skirt and made a few changes to the white blouse, and she had told me that she forced herself to make the best of it. She had bough me new stockings that reached me to above the knee instead of the short, normal ones that everyone else had, and she had made the small bow around my neck a bit more delicate. I didn't understand the meaning behind it, but as long as it made her happy I would let her fix whatever she wanted.

“I'll be here to pick you up as soon as school's over, and just call me if there is anything you need,” my mom said, her voice filled with the normal concern. She drove me to school every day, and picked me up when I was done. “I know mom. I know,” I sighed as I stepped out of her car. She was always so overprotecting, yet I never complained about it. I owed my parents everything. If they hadn't been willing to risk everything to rescue me from the Volturi, god knows how my life had turned out. I waited a second with the door open, tempted to get back in again. “Love you mom,” I said, and smiled. She returned my smile, and I shut the car door. I took another look at the school building, and started walking reluctantly up the hill towards it.

“Hey Ellie!” someone shout from the bottom of the hill. I was standing by the school gates as I turned around to see who it was. My best friend, Allison, was running up the hill towards me, almost smashing into the other students on her way. She had clearly been the one who called out for me. Even though she was my best friend, we had never done anything outside of school. I never really did anything with people my own age. Not that I had never been asked. I had been invited to movies and parties many times, but turned down just as many. I didn't want anyone to get involved in my life any more than they had to. It was to dangerous. I was to dangerous. What if I got to attached to anybody? What would I do when they eventually died, and I would live forever? What if someone's blood became to tempting for me to resist? The vampire part of me had grown stronger as I became older, and even though I was only a quarter of a vampire, the smell of the blood pulsing through the veins of people around me always made my throat burn. At school I could handle it, and it wasn't a big problem, but I feared what I would do if the temptation became to large, or the burning got to intense.

“So, have you heard?” Allison said breathlessly as she reached me. Her face was flushed from running, and she smiled like she always did. “Heard what?” I asked her as we walked through the gates. She seemed even more excited today than she usually did, so there had to be something happening. “Really, you haven't heard? We talked about it yesterday, and the day before. Geez, you got to pay attention El.” She looked shocked. I loved my friend to death, but sometimes she was a little to intense. I tried to smile apologetically to her, and put on my cutest face. “Well, the new guy of course. He's starting today! I can't wait to see how he looks like. Hope his hot,” she gushed. She was always looking for the hottest guy around, so of course she would be eager to see this new arrival. She kept going on and on about all the rumors she had heard about him, and her plan to make him fall hopelessly in love with her, if he looked good enough. Even before anyone had seen him, he had a reputation. Maybe this day wouldn't be so boring after all. Maybe someone new and unknown was what this school needed to become a little less dreadful.

The three first periods went like they always did. Fist there was a quiz, then two hours of independent study. I didn't get to much done in those two hours though. Allison kept sending me notes, updating me on the latest rumors flying around. So far she knew that he was eighteen, and he was in the class above us. He had been living all over the world, and his father was a well known photographer. He had been home schooled a lot just like I had, and this was his first time going to high school. His mother had apparently died a long time ago, but Allison didn't know why or when. “Psst, El, Brittany just said she saw someone arrive at a motorcycle, and she'd never seen him before,” Allison said. Her face was lit up, and she was nearly jumping in her seat. I looked at my clock, and saw that it was almost time for lunch. Our independent studies were supervised by Ms. Miller, and she was one of the more layed back teachers. She probably wouldn't mind if we left a few minutes early. “Then let's go Ally,” I whispered back, and looked over my shoulder. Ms. Miller had her head deep down in a thick book, so she wouldn't notice if we left. We got up as carefully as we could, and headed for the door. As we locked the door behind us, we started to run towards the big windows with a view over the gates. If he had arrived at a motorcycle, he would be there somewhere. And as we peeked over the edge of the big windows, I saw him.

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Here's chapter 2 :)


Chapter 2, First Sight (Ellie's point of view)

It felt like I was being hit by lightening, like a thousand wires were suddenly wrapped between the two of us, holding us together. All of the world around me disappeared, and all I could see was him. It was like I saw the light for the first time, like I had lived my life up until now in the darkness, and he was the guardian angel coming to rescue me. My mind registered that Allison's lips moved, and she tried to say something to me, but her words didn't reach me. My eyes were locked on the gorgeous boy standing three floors beneath me. He was the most beautiful human being I had ever lay my eyes upon. His messy, deep blond hair was shining in the faint sunlight, his flawless skin held a perfect tan, and my vampire eyes could see his deep blue eyes sparkling as he looked up towards the place where I stood. As he turned around towards the building, I pulled myself from the window, and sunk down on the floor. When I couldn't see him any more, I could think and hear again.

“Hey, earth to Elizabeth, are you there?” Allison said, and waved her hands in front of my face as she sat down on the floor next to me. The halls were still empty, and I was glad no one but Allison had seen my reaction towards the new boy. But what had that been one second ago? I had never felt anything like it in my entire life, and the power that followed with the feeling had knocked me of my feet. It was like a missing piece had finally fallen into place in my heart the moment I saw him, a piece I never even knew belonged there. How could a stranger have such an effect on me? “Um, yeah, I'm here. I-I just need to clear my head for a bit. Could you cover for me? I think I'm going to head home, I don't feel so good,” I said, and tired to get up. Allison took my hand and helped me. I had told her a lie. I did feel good, in a very strange and new way. But I needed to think, and I had to leave. I couldn't see him again today. The feelings that had filled me as soon as I had seen him was to strange, to uncontrollable. “I'll cover for you, but are you sure you're ok?” Allison asked. She looked concerned, her forehead creased and her mouth formed a tight line. “Sure, sure,” I said, a habit I had picked up from my dad, and tried to smile. She didn't look convinced, but she let it go. That was one of the things I liked about Allison. She knew me, and she knew that she shouldn't push me into telling her things I didn't feel like telling her. I took one last look out the window, and saw his motorcycle standing there alone. Good. Now I could go out the main entrance and not run into him. I had to get home. I needed to think, figure this thing out, and I could definitely not stay at school any longer when I felt like this.

I ran down the stairs as fast as I could, trying not to fall. My body and mind was still in shock. Somehow, I knew from this day on, my life would be completely changed. I already was, and I would never be the same person again. The first sight of him kept replaying in my head, and my mind twisted itself around the image trying to understand the feeling that it filled me with. I didn't pay attention to the steps I was taking when I suddenly felt my feet disappear from underneath me, and I was on the ground. Great. Why did my clumsiness, which had been passed down from generation to generation in our family, have to attack me today?

“Are you ok!?” an unfamiliar voice shouted, and the same person came running towards me. The voice was soft like honey, and even though I had never heard it before, it sounded like the most right sound in the world. So familiar and homey. Could it be? “Yeah, I'm great,” I said as I stumbled up on my feet again, and almost lost balance as my head started to spin. I felt the red roses spread across my cheeks, and looked down in embarrassment. “Here, let me help you,” the person asked me, and took my hand. As the hand took mine, it was like another piece of the puzzle clicked into place. I looked up, and my eyes met the same face I had admired from the window. The lightning hit me again, and I almost fell back on the floor a second time. The places his skin touched mine felt so much hotter than the rest of my body, while the contact sent butterflies flying crazy in my stomach. “No, I'm ok. But thank you,” I mumbled, and removed my hand from his. I tried to walk from him, but lost my balance again. “Yeah, I don't think you'll manage on your own, so let me at least walk you to the nurse,” he offered again. His voice was very kind, just like the warmth that was glowing from his face. His personality didn't really seem to fit the whole motorcycle thing. Who was this boy? “No, please, don't take me to the nurse. I'm just going to go home, so if you have to follow me, just walk me to the gates.” What did I just say? The words had just fallen out of my mouth, and I didn't have time to react until they were already spoken. My face grew even redder, and I looked down again. “Ok. Just give me your arm, and I'll help you get out,” he said, and reached out for my hand. My body acted before my brain did, and then his hand took mine again. “I'm Alvin by the way,” he said as we walked out into the fresh air. “You're new here, right? I'm Elizabeth, but you can call me Ellie if you like,” I answered him. The voice I spoke with sounded nothing like me, it was to cute. Why did I act this way? He smiled the most dashing smile I had ever seen in my life, and I suddenly felt very lightheaded. “Great! Then I'll do that. This schools seems better every second,” he said as his face lit up even more. His personality kind of reminded me of Seth. Excited and happy, and he seemed to be just as kind and sincere.

“Are you sure you'll be alright? My first class starts just after lunch, so I have some time if you need help,” he said as we headed out of the school property. I felt my entire body wanting to take him up on that offer. Why did I feel this way? I never cared for boys, never allowed myself to feel anything for them, yet now everything seemed to head in that direction. Somehow this felt different than a normal superficial high school crush, so much deeper and serious. “No, I, I think I'm ok. I'll just call my mom, and she'll come get me. Thank you for helping me though,” I answered him as I removed his arm from around my waist. I hadn't even noticed how my hand was clinging on to his shirt, leaving it wrinkly as I forced my fist to open. I looked up in his eyes again, and when his deep blue gaze met mine I saw the light again. He looked concerned, yet I did no longer remember any reason for him to feel that sort of emotions. And why would he be concerned? I was a stranger he had just met, there was no reason for him to feel anything like concern for me. “Ok,” he said, and started to dig into his pocket until he found what he was looking for. He dragged a small piece of paper out of his pocket, and started scrambling down something on it. “But just text me and let me know when you get home safely, please?” It sounded more like a question than anything else, and he handed me the note. “I would hate something happening to you after I leave.” Without hesitation, my hand took the note and I smiled. “Okey,” I mumbled as soon as my mind caught up with my actions, and I became embarrassed. “I'll go now.” Before he got time to say anything, I turned my back on him, and started walking fast down the hill.

As I came to a halt at the end of the hill I found my small cell phone and dialed mom's number. It rang three times before anyone answered, and I started tapping my foot as my patience disappeared. “Ellie, is something wrong?” my mom asked, her voice higher than normal. Great, she was already freaking out. “No mom, relax. Could you just come get me now. I'll explain later, just please come now.” I felt my voice shake a bit. It was like everything that had happened the last few minutes suddenly hit me, and confusion rolled over me. This wasn't normal. I didn't act this way towards anybody, especially not boys, and never towards people I had just met. I needed someone to explain this to me, but it felt wrong to share this with anybody. The connection between me and Alvin felt so private, so... intimate, and I knew my mom would freak out if I let here see and feel my first sight of him. Maybe I would wake up soon, and find out that this was just an all to vivid dream. But my subconsciousness told me different. I was no longer the person I had been when I first walked up this very same hill a few hours ago, I could feel that. “Ok, your dad is already on his way. Are you sure you're ok Ellie? You don't sound like yourself, and you are suppose to have four more hours of school today,” mom said, and I could hear a car driving away from her. “Yeah, I'm fine, I'll wait at the normal spot. Bye.” I hung up before she got time to say more. As I sat down to wait for my dad in the usual spot, I retrieved the note Alvin had given me from my bag. Along with his phone number he had written something in a very boyish script.

Text me when you get home, ok? Don't want me to worry about you for no reason, do you? :)
It was nice to meet you, and I hope we'll get to know each other better.

Alvin


Even his simple words made the butterflies go crazy in my stomach. I re-read the note so many times I lost count, and folded it carefully as I put it into the secret room in my bag. He wanted to get to know me better, and I smiled at the thought. As soon as I realized what I was doing, I shook my head. This wasn't me. I didn't get worked up and excited over something so simple.

Luckily, the sound of a car stopping in front of me dragged me out of my thoughts, and I got up. “Hey Ellie. Nessie told me to come get you, are you all right?” dad asked as I got into his car. As soon as we drove further and further away from the school, my mind felt a bit clearer. “Mhm, I just need to go home. I've got a headache, and I need some sleep,” I answered. I didn't meet his eyes as I said it, knowing how bad I was at lying, and fastened my seatbelt. “Are you sure that's all?” my dad asked again, and he didn't seem convinced. “Yeah, sure. Just take me home please?” I muttered. I almost started to feel desperate. I couldn't tell him this now. I hadn't even begun to understand what had happened myself, how could I possibly expect someone else to? I didn't want my granddad to read anything about this in my mind, so I started preparing the image that would cover my thoughts. I had perfected my gift over the years, learned how to expand the way it worked. Now, I could use it almost as a shield if I concentrated enough, and it became very handy in times like these. And maybe sleep was what I needed. Maybe it would clear my head just a little bit, make everything easier to understand. We drove in silence, and I could feel my dad looking over at me as he frowned. I had to figure out this soon. I couldn't keep it a secret from my family for to long.
Chapter 3, Thinking Things Through (Ellie's point of view)

I sighed, and turned over again. When we got home I had ran straight into my room, and buried myself under my quilt. I wanted to sleep, but the thoughts that filled my mind, and the images I blocked Edward with seemed to take all of my concentration. All of my thought span around him. His words, his warmth, the note... his scent. He had smelled so sweet, like rare flowers and fresh mountain air, yet I hadn't felt any burning or desire to bite him, no wanting to consume his blood. When he had touched me he had made me feel more human than I had ever done before, filled me with feelings I never thought I would ever get to feel. There was no use in trying to deny that fact. He had touched something deep down in my heart, something I thought would lie there silent for all eternity. Now, those feeling were set in motion, and I had to find a way to stop them. I couldn't allow myself to feel these type of feelings. There seemed to be no use in trying to get some sleep, so I got out of bed and found by bag. I had promised to text him, so I might as well do it now.

Hey Alvin

I'm home now, and I feel fine.
No need to worry ;)

Ellie


I shut my phone after writing the message to him, and went back to bed. I wanted to sleep, but as I dragged the quilt over my head I heard hushed voices coming from outside my door. “What's wrong with her?” my mom whispered. I could barely make out the words, so I carefully sat up without making a noise, and concentrated on the noises outside the walls surrounding me. “I don't know. She wont let me into her head. There is definitely something she's hiding from me, that's all I can tell you,” Edward answered her in the same low voice. Oh no, I had thought my images would fool him, give me some more time to think and find a way to explain why I had acted so weird, but I hadn't even fooled him one bit. Maybe it would be best to just let them know everything, but how could they possibly understand what had happened to me today? How could they understand the change I felt in myself, how my whole view of the world had changed as Alvin had entered my life?

“Mom, I can hear you, you know,” I said, and sighed. Didn't they know that my hearing was almost as good as theirs? Instead of answering me they opened the door to my room, and they both had that questioning and apologetic look on their faces. “Is it okay if we come in?” mom asked carefully, and stepped a few meters closer to my bed. “Sure, I guess,” I answered her, and tried to make room for both of them on my bed. They closed the door behind them, and my mom took my hands in hears as she sat down. “Honey, is there something you want to tell us? I don't think it's just a headache like you told your dad.” I looked up at my mom, and could only find concern in her eyes. I felt like I needed to tell her, but I had no idea how I could ever explain to her, not even with my images. “Well, sort of, but I don't know if I'm ready to tell you yet. I need to figure things out for myself first. Is that alright?” I asked her, and put up my cutest face. Edward looked like he was going crazy from trying to get around my image, but I knew he wouldn't be able to. I had practiced so hard on how to cover up my thoughts, and my 'shield' was almost perfect. “Sorry grandpa,” I whispered. He just smiled at me, and nodded his head once. It felt so weird calling him that. He looked just my age, so calling him something that most people associated with gray hair and a bad back just felt to awkward.

To my big surprise, my mom, dad, Edward and everyone else left me alone. I guess they could see that there was something bothering me, something I had to get through on my own, and they trusted me enough to let me do just that. As everyone left for a hunting trip, I was able to really relax and think things through. Alice had dragged Jasper with her on a month long shopping trip to Europe just a few days ago, so that left me with one less problem to take care of, and I was grateful for that. Alice would have been to curious to leave the matter of my sudden rush to leave school alone, and she would have forced the reason out of me. Jasper would have felt everything, and there would have been no way for me to hide the change in my feelings from him. So no matter how much I missed them while they were gone, their absence had become very convenient.

When I was sure there were nobody left in the house I left my bedroom. Walking in the endless halls of our newly restored castle, yes castle, felt just like getting lost in a fairytale. When it had been time for us to relocate again Esme had wanted a new project, and the castle had been a lucky find. Someone had started building it to look like an old French castle, but had lost their patient with it in the building proses, and the castle was left with only the exterior done. So Esme had started working on it before we moved in, and now everything looked flawless down to the smallest detail. I trailed my fingers along the edge of the stone wall, and looked through the windows as I passed them. The moon shining through the thin layer of clouds made the garden look magical, and left the water in the big fountain looking like black ink. Just as I entered the kitchen to get some water I felt my phone buzz in my pocket.

Good. Hope you come to school tomorrow. I've already been stalked by the football team, who almost forced me to join, so I need you to rescue me. I'm counting on you!

Night Ellie


When I was done reading, I felt my hand grasping the edge of the counter. I hadn't even began figuring out what to do yet, and I would have to face him tomorrow. My breathing stopped as I thought of him. Could I really let myself get involved with anymore people? Let another innocent person get wrapped up in my world of mythical creatures and mixed monsters like myself? I already had Allison in my life, the one friend I had allowed myself to get really attached to, could I allow myself to let Alvin in the same way? Would I even be able to stay away from him? Just by reading his name, thinking of him writing the short message to me made me dizzy. These weren't feelings a normal person could fill me with, not even a friend. Would I be able to keep the distance I needed to? Just thinking about the new questions that filled my mind made my head hurt and the room spin. When I though about not seeing him I felt an agonizing pain grow in my chest, so that option was definitely the last solution.

In the end I decided I would go to school tomorrow and see how things played out. Things couldn't be that serious, right? Maybe it was just the excitement that had been building up because of the new student, or the rumors that had gotten to me. Maybe I had been overreacting? I kept telling myself that that was it, that there was no reason to worry, yet I didn't really manage to convince myself. Tomorrows day at school would be a very interesting one.
Chapter 4, A Date? (Ellie's point of view)

The next morning my mom dropped me of at school just like she always did. She had tried to talk to me after she got back from the hunting trip last night, but I hadn't managed to tell her anything. Now, her eyes were filled with even more concern than normal. I had to tell her soon, or I would make my family go mad. “I'll call you when school's over. Bye mom,” I said as I closed the car door. I tried to color my voice with my usual happy and carefree tone, but it didn't really come out the way I wanted it to. I turned away from the car to prevent her from seeing the way my face looked now that I had to face Alvin again, and I started walking fast towards the school building.

The first hours of school went by slowly. Allison had asked me a few times about what happened the day before and if I felt ok, but her questions died of when I didn't provide her with a reasonable answer. Since Alvin was a year older, he wasn't in any of my classes, so that left me with a bit more time to figure things out. I hoped that when I saw him this time, my feelings would be controllable, and that what had happened yesterday wouldn't repeat itself. It felt like my entire future relied on what was going to happen when I saw him again. What if those weird feelings filled me again? They would be to powerful to ignore this time, but now that I knew what to expect, I hoped I could handle it somehow.

And much to soon, lunch came. I entered the cafeteria with Allison like I always did, and after we got our food we headed for our usual spot. Just as I was about to sit down, someone called out for me. “Ellie!” he shouted, and just the sound of his voice sent chills down my spine. There was no doubt that I would feel exactly like I did yesterday. There was no way to deny that there was something between us, that I couldn't exclude him from my life like I had though of last night. This feeling was like a drug, something I had already gotten addicted to. I turned around, and the sight that met me almost made me fall of my chair.

When I turned around, Alvin's face was only inches from mine. He was smiling the same smile he had left me with when I last saw him, his eyes sparkling like the stars in a light summer sky. I felt my heartbeat picking up in pace, and my mind went blank. When had he gotten this close to our table? “Thank god you're here Ellie. I'm being followed by the football team, and they won't stop unless I join. Please save me?” he said as he sat down in the chair next to me. He looked at me again, and pouted his lower lip. The face he made was just to cute. He lowered his head as he tried to make himself as small as possible, and put his elbows on the table. Even though we had just met yesterday, it felt like we were old friends. I hadn't ever felt like this before, and seeing him again now only filled me with more questions. “Sure, but I think it's best if we leave the cafeteria. Their table is just over there, and they'll definitely see you if you stay here,” I answered him. Without noticing, I had lowered my head so that it was closer to his, and I could feel his warm breath on my skin. The feeling of it made my head spin. The plan of not letting him into my life was definitely out of the question.

We both got up from the table, and turned to face the door. Just as we were about to leave I heard someone cleanse their throat behind me. “Hey El, care to introduce me?” Allison said. I had totally forgot that she was sitting there as soon as I had heard Alvin's voice. The effect that boy had on me could not be good in the long run, seeing how it made me so rude. “Oh, sorry Al. This is Alvin, you know. I met him yesterday as I left,” I said to her, and giggled. She knew who he was, since we had been watching him from the window yesterday, but I guessed she didn't really get why he knew me. “Pleasure to meet you,” Alvin answered. “I'm really sorry Al, but I think I have to help this guy hide for a bit. Do you mind? You know how Josh can be when he sees someone who might have the potential to be something on the football team.” Allison looked a bit upset that I would leave her all alone, and with the hot new guy as she had called him, and I smiled apologetic at her, my eyes begging. For some reason I really wanted to be alone with Alvin. This wasn't really going according to my plan. Allison nodded once, and that was our permission to go. I wrapped my fingers around Alvin's wrist, and started running for the door.

As we ran through the corridors of the school I couldn't keep the smile of my face. I was still a long way from figuring out what had happened, and why I felt the way I did when I saw Alvin, but I couldn't deny the fact that he made me feel good. My hand felt so much warmer where it touched Alvin, and when I was with him it felt like all I wanted to do was laugh and smile. Right now, everything I had though about yesterday would have to wait. What was one more friend, right? “Come on,” I shouted to Alvin as we rounded the corner. Everybody we passed looked at us, and that would mean that the football team would find out that I had 'kidnapped' Alvin. There was only one place in the entire school where we could hide, one place that only I knew of, and that was the place I was going to take him.

As I let go of his hand, I placed my hands on my knees and pretended to be exhausted. Alvin's face was flushed from the running, but the way his blush colored his cheeks made him even more beautiful. I looked away from him to prevent myself from getting lightheaded. Now that it was only the two of us, everything suddenly felt just like it had done when I first met him. “Where are you taking me?” he asked as he caught his breath. I had almost forgot that we were headed for my secret place. “Oh, right. I'm going to hide us on the roof. Nobody's really allowed to go there, but I know a way. Just follow me.” I took his hand again without even thinking about it, and lead him towards the stairs. I had found out about the roof the first week of school, and had been hiding out there until I met Allison.

“Wow,” was all Alvin said as we finally got out on the roof. The view from there was really beautiful. You could see the woods stretch out for miles and miles, and the ocean sparkling in the distance. Of course I could see everything much clearer than a normal human, but I supposed it was beautiful even with their clouded vision. “This is really amazing Ellie.” Alvin took my hand and dragged me towards the fence. “I know. I've hided here so many times, and the view always knocks me of my feet.” We just stood there by the fence, holding hands and looking into the massive green. Bolts of lightening shot up the arm Alvin was holding, and it felt like all I could think of was his skin touching mine. This definitely wasn't normal.

“So, do you want something to eat? I grabbed these on the way out of the cafeteria,” I said, and held out two cupcakes. “Sure.” He took one of them, and went to sit down on a small bench I had managed to sneak up to the roof. I joined him, and started nibbling on my cupcake. I suddenly felt very aware of myself, and my cheeks felt hot. Why was I blushing now? “So, tell me something about yourself,” Alvin said in between bites. “Um, well, I moved down here a few years ago with my family, but all of my uncles, aunts and siblings are in collage, so I had to enter high school on my own. My dad's a doctor, and my mom is restoring an old building at the moment,” I began. I didn't really want to keep going on and on about myself. I wanted to know about him, who he was. “Well, enough about me. You're the new one here.”

“Well, my dad's a photographer, so I've moved around the world with him a lot. My mom died in an accident when I was four, so I don't remember to much about her. My dad decided to settle down here for a year or so to work on his new project, so I started here. Guess there's not that much to say. I like to drive my motorcycle, watch old black and white movies and take photos... ok, now this started sounding like something I would write on an online dating site, so I'm going to stop now,” he said, and started laughing. I tried to laugh as well, though mine sounded so much more nervous. When he started talking about dating, the feelings I didn't allow myself to feel had bubbled to the surface, and that was something that couldn't happen. I had just met this boy, why did my mind start hoping for something more than friendship?

Before I got to say anything, the bell interrupted us. “It's Friday today, right?” Alvin asked as we got up. He had gotten a bright look on his face, like he suddenly had gotten a very good idea. I nodded, and waited for him to continue. “My dad's going to display some of his photographs at this new gallery tonight, and he asked me to bring a friend. And I know we just met yesterday, but I kinda feel like we're friends already. So do you want to go with me?” he asked, and smiled as he made the cutest puppy dog face that was impossible to say no to “Sure, I'll go,” I said, and smiled back at him. “Cool. So, I'll come pick you up at seven. What's your address?” I wrote down my address for him, and he smiled even wider. “Great. I've got to go to class now. See you at seven,” he said as he looked at his clock, and started running for the stairs. It wasn't until I saw his back disappear out the door that I realized what I had gotten myself into.

I didn't allow myself to go out. I hadn't even been out with Allison, and now I had a... a date with Alvin. I stumbled back to the bench, and melted. What had happened to 'let's see what happens, and figuring out what had happened yesterday' and 'not allowing yourself to let anyone get involved in your life'? I shock my head at myself. What had really happened after I had met Alvin? Maybe I should call him and cancel? I could find an excuse to not come. Before I even considered that option, I shook it out of my head. No matter how much I needed to stay away from people, I wanted to go on that date with Alvin. I wanted to get to know him. I wanted to feel his hand in mine again, hear his carefree laughter. I had no idea why I felt so good when I was with him, but I wanted it. My body craved for it, and I knew for certain now that I had to have him in my life one way or another. This Friday night would definitely be one to remember.
Sorry I haven't been posting in a while. I've been on vacation, and I haven't had a chance to post what I've written. The next two chapters are almost done, so I'll probably post one tomorrow or the day after. I promise to make the date-chapter a long one :)
Sorry it's been so long since I've posted anything, and I know that this chapter is short, but I promise the next one will be longer :)


Chapter 5, Ellie (Alvin's point of view)

I splashed the cold water in my face and gripped the counter with both hands. I had hoped the water would calm me down a bit and clear my head of all the confusing thoughts spinning around in there, but it didn't. I looked at myself in the mirror as I wiped away the last drops of water from my chin, and sighed. My reflection looked just like it had done a few days ago, yet I felt I looked different, older maybe? I couldn't quite put my finger on what it was, but I could feel it there. The change lay deep within me, deep down under the surface, yet it had started effecting everything I did, every move I made. And I knew what had caused the change. Ellie.

When my dad had told me that I would have to start going to that school, I started a big argument and made a real fuss about it. I didn't want to start at a new school in the middle of the year, and I hated it just as much as much as I hated the thought of being the new guy. So when he had made it clear that there wouldn't be any way for me to get out of it, I had decided that there would be only one way to make it bearable. If I managed to be cold, arrogant, and stay away from everyone who wanted to befriend me, maybe the school year wouldn't be torture. I wasn't interested in new friends. My dad would relocate us soon anyway, what was the point in getting attached to people I probably wouldn't keep in touch with? Even though I was 18, and I could decide for myself, I still lived with my dad and traveled with him. I felt like he needed me there, and if I decided to leave him he would be to lonely and go into some sort of depression. He had taken the death of my mom really hard, and the only thing that kept dad going was me and his passion for photographing. So I had decided to do what pleased him, and enroll in that stupid private school.

When I first saw the school, everything felt so much worse. It looked so picture perfect, idyllic, just like the people who most likely went there. So when I had arrived there on my motorcycle, which had been one of my small attempts to look like the person I tried to portray, I hadn't expected to see what I saw. The first thing that met me when I forced myself to go into the building was Ellie. She had been sitting on the floor, clearly after a fall, and without even thinking about it I had rushed over to help her. That hadn't been the best idea if I was going to keep up the arrogant appearance. I didn't know why I did that, but seeing her felt like the most right thing that had happened in my life for a very long time.

And without thinking about it, I had broken every rule I had set for myself. I had been myself around her, helped her, even given her my phone number. I had laughed and smiled like I hadn't done in a very long time, and in just a day she had found her own place in my life, one that I didn't even have to force or create. It was like it was already carved out for her, and she fell into it like the most natural thing. And now, I had a date with her in just two hours. I let my fingers glide through my hair, and shook my head lightly. I hadn't been on a date in years, not since I lived in Europe, and those I had been on hadn't gone very well. I hoped I hadn't been too straight forward asking Ellie out like that so fast, but she hadn't hesitated when she answered, and I took that as a good sign.

Just when I though about her, she made me smile. She was such a beautiful, clumsy and carefree girl. The way her laughter filled me with happiness, how her smile lit her face and the way her eyes seemed to sparkle despite the deep brown color of them... Everything about that girl was perfect. Maybe making a new friend wasn't so bad. Maybe Ellie would be what I needed to get through the year in that strict school. She would be my savior. The clock ticked closer and closer to seven, and after I got dressed I drove my bike to pick up Ellie.
Thank you :)

Yep, my vacation was very nice. I got to see a lot of beautiful nature, so that was fun :)
Finally done with chapter 6 :) It turned out even longer then I expected, so that's why it took so long. Please leave a comment and let me know what you think of it :)


Chapter 6, The Date (Ellie’s point of view)

“Knock, knock.” My mom entered my bathroom as I was getting ready for my date with Alvin. I didn’t plan on telling her or anyone else that I was in fact going out with a boy and not Allison like I had told and I had put up the blocking picture as soon as I left school. God only knows what my family would say if they knew the true plans for my evening. They had started asking me a thousand questions, since I very rarely went out, but in the end they had let me go. I wasn't sure if they truly believed me, but they seemed happy enough with the story I had given them.

“Is it really just Allison you’re going to meet Ellie?” my mom asked, her voice questioning. “You’re putting an awful lot of effort into your appearance just to go out with your best friend. She picked up a few hairpins and helped me with my hair. Our eyes met in the mirror, but I didn’t manage to read hers. They didn’t tell me anything. Did she know that I was lying to her? “Yes mom, I am. I just thought it would be fun to do something else then just sitting around the house for once. Don’t you wish for me to be happy?” I felt the annoyance leak into my voice, and I rushed past her into my closet. I wasn't used to having to keep something from my mom, and it really drained my energy and ruined my good mood.

I pulled out the purple silk top that Alice had gotten me just before she left and the dark pair of tight pants I had never dared to wear before. I even wore the black high heels with a cute bow in the back. I had never really liked form fitting clothes that much, and definitely not heels, but somehow I really wanted to look my best today, for Alvin, show of my best features... Stop it, stop it, stop it Ellie I shouted at myself. He is just a friend, there is no use in doing all of this. And besides, what should I be wearing to a gallery opening? “Of course I do Ellie, but I really want you to tell me the truth as well. You know you can tell me anything right, I won’t judge you.” I stopped up for a second and looked at my mom. Keeping something from her really did hurt, and it made me feel incredibly guilty, but I didn’t know how I could tell her yet. Mom, I'm going out with a boy I met just a few days ago, and whenever I'm around him I feel all tingly and mellow inside... not really a good idea. Maybe I would figure things out tonight, make more sense of the feelings I had for Alvin. The feelings which I forced into being those of friendship, those same feelings I knew had started turning into something more, something I couldn’t allow them to. “I know mom. Look, I have to go now, but could we maybe talk when I get home? I won’t be late.” I smiled at her, and she nodded. “Ok Ellie. But come home at eleven sharp.” I pulled with me the short black silk jacket before I headed downstairs, carefully not to fall in the way to high heels.

As I locked the gate behind me I heard a motorcycle come closer, and just as I turned around Alvin stopped the bike and took off his helmet. “Hey Ellie,” he said and smiled that kind smile that always seemed to brighten his face. He was dressed in dark jeans that looked very expensive and a light v-neck sweater underneath his brown leather jacket. This was the first time I saw him in anything else than the dull school uniform, which he pulled of way better than any of the other guys, but this style made him even more handsome. Seeing him sent butterflies going crazy in my stomach just like it had done every single time he talked to me, and I smiled. “Hey,” I answered him, and moved closer. As he took my hand, his eyes moved from my feet and all the way up to my face again. I couldn't keep the blush away from my cheeks as his eyes lingered only for a moment longer at certain places of my body. “Wow, you look beautiful,” he murmured, and placed a loose strand of my hair behind my ear. We stood there for a moment in silence, just looking into each others eyes, almost like the planes for the evening was completely forgotten.

“Are you ready to go? Hope the bike’s not a problem. The car broke down,” he said as he broke the silence, smiled apologetically to me, and handed me a helmet. “No, not a problem,” I answered, and climbed on. “Great. Just hold on tight, ok?” I tightened my grip around his waist, and moved closer to him. The scent of him made me slightly lightheaded, and I took a deep breath just to keep myself on the bike. This was definitely not just the friendship I had planned it to be, I could already feel that. As his broad back was turned to me, all I wanted was to rest my head between his shoulder blades, kiss his skin lightly… no, no, no! I shouted at myself. This wasn’t how things were suppose to be. I wasn’t suppose to have these kinds of feelings. Alvin wasn’t suppose to be dragged into my world, into the deep darkness I often found my life drowning in. How could I even allow myself to go out with him like this? This night would be a constant reminder of everything my body and mind longed for, yet what they wouldn’t get. It would be pure torture when the night was over, and I had to leave him. My mind seemed to twist and turn all of my needs around, and toss them in with my own rules so that nothing made sense anymore.

Then the bike shot forward, and we were flying through the air. It felt almost like running, feeling the cold air against my skin, seeing the trees that passed by faster and faster. My mom and Edward would be furious if they found out that I had been riding a bike. The one time my dad had taken me on a trip with him and grandma, mom and Edward had both exploded when we got home, and that had been my one and only meeting with a two-wheeled vehicle, up until now. I had sworn then that I would never get on a bike ever again, yet that promise seemed so distant and fare away now. I could almost hear them yelling at me, see the disappointment in their eyes, but I didn’t care. The air cleared my mind for just a second, and it let me think without all of the distractions of Alvin’s scent and his beauty. Maybe this night wouldn’t be so bad? a small voice inside my head asked carefully. Maybe I could manage to suppress my feelings, and have the same kind of friendship I had with Allison, with Alvin? The ride seemed to go so much faster when all of these thoughts filled my mind, and we were suddenly at the gallery.

I swallowed as Alvin parked the bike, and we walked towards the big building. There were already lots of people there, drinking champagne while standing in small groups around the many big pictures hanging on the walls. I had only been in a gallery once, when Esme had taken me with her when I was seven. That trip had resulted in me almost knocking over three very valuable pieces, and the humiliation made me swore to myself that I would never set foot in one of those ever again. Yet here I found myself standing in front of one ten years later, my feelings a mix of unease and excitement.

“So, are you ready to go in?” Alvin asked. I had stopped just in front of the door, and I couldn't seem to move my feet an inch. If it was from the bad experience, all the people, or simply my growing feelings for Alvin I couldn't figure out, but the small clarity and confidence I had gained on the bike was now completely gone. “Oh, come on Ellie. It's not that bad.” He took my hand in his, and rubbed small circles with his thumb. I seemed to melt only by his simple touch, and walking with him into that frightening gallery suddenly seemed like a piece of cake.

All of Alvin's father's photos were really good. They were all black and white, and the intensity of the feelings they portrayed was enough to make you stop and really look at them. The way he made the people in them talk with their eyes and tell a story with only one picture was like nothing I had ever seen before. We had been very discreet when we walked in, and so fare we had managed not talking to anyone. He had been holding my hand the entire time, sometimes tracing patterns on the back of my hand with his free hand when we stopped, or rubbing his thumb gently in circles. I hadn't mentioned his sudden closeness, and it seemed he didn't even notice his actions. I knew this was way beyond what I allowed myself, but I didn't have the heart to stop him. It felt so right, so natural having my tiny hand in his large one... like they were shaped to hold mine. No, Ellie... the little voice in my head whispered. You can't do this. What if – I didn't get to hear the end of that sentence before Alvin stopped us in front of a big picture.

“This is my mom,” he whispered. His hand closed even tighter around mine, and I moved closer to him. The picture in front of me was very simple with clean lines and little interruptions, and my eyes were drawn to the woman's eyes almost immediately. She was smiling very softly, not only with her mouth, but with her entire face, and her eyes in particular. Her eyes were big and deep, her cheekbones were defined, and her lips were full and perfectly shaped. Her hair looked blond, and it curled gently around her shoulders. She was beautiful.

“My dad took it right after I was born. He told me he wanted to capture the glow she had back then,” Alvin's voice was low and shaking slightly. I could see his eyes started watering, and it tore my heart. I moved closer to him, and held his hand in both of mine. “Do you miss her?” I whispered, almost afraid what my question would do to him. But I had to ask. I wanted to know everything that hid behind those deep blue eyes, everything that was buried deep in his soul. He nodded his head slightly and squeezed my hand. “Do you mind if we leave? I don't think well get to talk to my dad anyway, and we've already seen everything,” Alvin said and nodded towards a group of men in suits. “I've never really cared for such formal gatherings,” he continued, and tried to laugh. He smiled, but his eyes still held that same emotions they had done when he was looking at the portrait of his mother. “Sure,” I answered and smiled. I wanted to comfort him, let him cry in my arms if he needed it. Had he ever really gotten to grieve about his mothers death? Told anyone about his deepest fears or how much he missed her? When I looked at his dad, thought about the small amount of info I had gotten about how he had taken the death of his wife and the look in Alvin's eyes, I didn't think he had. I ignored the voices shouting in my head, telling me to let go of his hand and leave, and to show them how little they effected me I squeezed his hand harder as we walked out towards the parking lot.

“Do you mind if we go one more place? There is something I want to show you,” Alvin asked as we were on the bike again. His mood seemed to be back up where it normally was, but I couldn't help wondering if he really just hid the emotions I had seen flicked over his face as he stood there quiet in front of his mom. “Ok, where are we going?” I asked as I tightened my grip around his waist. “Just wait and see,” he shouted as the bike roared to life, and we shoot forward again.

When we stopped we had driven up a long driveway towards a huge modern-looking house with two floors and big windows. There weren't any houses near by, and behind the house the woods seemed to go on forever. “I hope you don't mind that I brought you to my house? But I couldn't really show you anywhere else.” He smiled a faint smile as he took my hand, and guided me up the many stair towards the door. “Of course not. Your home is very beautiful,” I answered and looked up at the tall walls that towered above me. Something I had said had obviously been funny, since Alvin laughed and smiled as he unlocked the door. “Well, it's not that pretty on the inside I'm afraid. We're still living in boxes, and neither my dad nor I are really that into decorating, so it doesn't really look like a home right now,” he answered as the lock clicked, and he opened the door. “After you princess,” he said, and lead me inside.

He had been right about the not-so-homey-feeling bit. The hall was filled with cardboard boxes of every sort, labels sticked on them so that you could tell what it was. Books, movies, photos, old toys and so on. “Yeah... see what I mean?” he asked apologetically. I just nodded, and let him lead me out in the huge living room which the hall opened up to. He guided me to the left, through something that might turn into a library sometime, but for now only had walls covered with dark, empty shelves. We walked through another room, and then stopped in the room after that. It was a corner room, with two walls made out of windows, and in the corner overlooking the view over the woods stood a grand piano. It looked just like the one we had at home. “Do you play?” I asked as I let go of his hand to move over to the piano and trace the black surface with my fingertips. A piano always made a house feel more like a home, and now the boxes in the hall suddenly didn't mean anything. “A little. That's what I wanted to show you,” he said as he sat down at the small stool and patted the seat next to him. He placed his elegant fingers over the keys, and waited for me to sit down. “I wrote this last night when I couldn't sleep,” he murmured as he started playing the first few notes. “I wanted you to be the first one to hear it.” I didn't say anything. I was in awe by the simple yet beautiful and tender melody that he created, and the unbelievably sad pictures they painted in my mind. Then Alvin started singing.

When I close my eyes to this paradox place
I'll fly away, far away from here
I'll get away and dream, dream of you


His voice was soft and gentle, and barely high enough for me to hear. As he sang that last line his eyes met mine only for a second before they looked back down at the keys again.

When it's all said and done
And the night has come
I'll disappear, take flight on the wind of wishing you were here
Fading light, like a star whose life has been gone for years


All of the emotions he seemed to hide colored his voice, and he closed his eyes. My mouth had opened slightly and my hands fell limp into my lap. My grandpa had sung to me so many times before, and his voice was beautiful, but never before had anyone touched my heart so completely with their song. Alvin's voice was so sore, filled with the pain I wanted him to let me see, the pain I wanted to take away.

And I'll fly, fly across the sky
And I'll leave, I'll leave it all behind
If you'll be here, here with me tonight
I'll be fine, I'll be fine
I'll be fine


He let his song come to an end, and while the last note died out he opened his eyes slowly and lowered his head. Tears were rolling silently down my cheeks, just like they had done since the fist word escaped his lips. I had never seen him like this before. In the short period of time I had known him, he had been happy and cheerful. Now, he looked the complete opposite. His shoulders were pushed forward, and he buried his face in his hands. He was shaking slightly as he fought back the tears that I knew was building in his eyes, and I placed my hand on his shoulder.

“God, I'm sorry Ellie,” he said as I touched him, and lifted his head. His eyes were red, and the smile he tried to give me didn't even touch them one bit. “I really thought I would be able to just play the song for you. You probably think I'm such a looser now, don't you? I've only known you for a couple of days, yet I act like such a child.” he shook his head, and looked down again. I let my fingers tighten their grip on his shoulder while my other hand took his in mine. “Don't apologize,” I murmured, and leaned my head against his shoulder. “Don't ever feel like there's something you can't show me or tell me. I won't judge you, no matter what.” I lifted his face with my fingers so that he met my eyes. He was crying now, no matter how much he was trying to hold it back, and his pain touched me deeper than my own had ever done.

“Do you miss her?” I whispered again while holding his chin up with my hand. His eyes looked away from mine for a second, and when they looked back I could truly see everything he felt. “I just... I...” he struggled to find the words he needed, and I placed both of my hands on his cheeks. He took a deep breath and continued. “Yes. Before I met you, my life wasn't really worth living. I never had any real friends, never went to a normal school, and though my dad was there, he was never really there. I always saw the look in his eyes when he was quiet. He never managed to hide how much he missed my mom, and he started burying himself in his work. I know he need me there, or he'll break down completely, and I've tried as hard as I can to do what I can for him, but I know that will never be enough. Sometimes... I... it feels like he wishes I had gone in her place. I know it's horrible to say something like that about my own father, and I hate myself for even thinking it, but when I see how he look at that picture of her, then how he looks at me...” Alvin couldn't hold his voice together any longer, and he broke down in sobs.

I let him bury his face in my chest, hold me as close as he wanted to and I let him cry in my arms. I held him to me and cried with him. How could he hide something so heavy behind his always happy face? How many years had he been carrying these dark and heavy emotions with no one to talk to and share them with? His soul was so much deeper and more troubled then I had ever imagined.

I understood why his song had been so powerful and touched me so deep. Every word was filled with his own experiences. His own loss and loneliness had given birth to those sad words, that sad melody, and with them he had asked me to help him. Be there for him when everyone else had abandoned him to care for himself. I let my fingers caress his hair slowly and softly, kissed the top of his head as he cried. I had never liked boys who cried, but I didn't even feel one ounce of the disgust I had felt towards every other boy I had seen crying, towards Alvin. These were tears of pure agony, so many years of feelings building up in such a fragile and pure soul. “Do you need me to stay with you? Just ask me, and I'll be there for you,” I whispered. It wasn't until the words were spoken I realized how much I wanted to stay, not only for him, but for myself as well. No,that's not right. You're not the right one to comfort him the voices whispered in my ear, but once again I ignored them. I had thought he would me my night in shining armor that day we met at school, that he could make school a bit less horrible, but it wasn't until now I understood just how much he needed me to play that part for him.

Alvin looked up at him and wiped away one of my tears. “Would you?” he asked whispering. His voice was sore and harsh from crying, and he had an embarrassed look on his face. I didn't want him to feel like that. I would be there for him no matter what he needed, no need to feel ashamed if that was someone's shoulder to cry on. “Of course. I just need to make a few calls.” I got out my phone, cleared my throat, and called Allison.

“Ellie?” she asked and yawned as she answered the phone. “Why are you calling me so late? The clock is already eleven thirty.” She yawned into the phone again, and I almost had to laugh. It was Friday, and she was already sleeping. “Sorry Al. I was just wondering if you possibly, maybe, could cover for me tonight? I mean, if my parents call or anything?” I asked, my voice turning very thin at the end. “What?” now, Allison didn't sound anywhere near tired anymore. “Cover for you why? Where are you?” There was no way around it, so I started telling her about the date, how I was with Alvin, and that he needed me there at the moment. I left out the pouring his heart out to me and crying into my chest. “El! On the first date and all... Never though you were that kind of type,” Allison's voice turned fake disappointed towards the end, and I felt my cheek burn red. I knew she was just teaing me, since I always became embarrassed when she was like that, but it worked once again. “No, nothing like that. Look, I can't explain in detail now. Just cover for me, ok?” I asked. “Ok, but promise you'll tell me everything on Monday, 'kay? Night!”she laughed and hung up before I got to say anything. I groaned. Now there was only one more phone call to make, and that one would be harder.

The conversation with my mom went much smoother than expected. She asked me a lot of questions, as usual, but seemed to believe that I was at Allison's for the night. She seemed happy that I finally interacted with my friends, and that would help me a lot. When I finally hung up the phone I felt exhausted. Alvin seemed almost normal again as well, and he stood by the window looking at the moon hiding behind the thin clouds.

I yawned as I stood next to him and took his hand. I rested my head against his shoulder, and looked up at the sky just like he did. “Everything alright?” he asked and rested his head on top of mine. “Mhm... just really tired that's all,” I answered and yawned again as to prove my point. “How about you?” I mumbled, and closed my eyes. “just tired as well,” he said. “I'll go find you some clothes to sleep in. Do you want me to show you the guest bedroom or...” he didn't continue his question. I knew he wanted me there with him, in case he needed me or someone to talk to. “Do you mind if I sleep in your room?” I asked. Normally I would have felt so awkward asking something like that, but not tonight. It felt only natural, like sleeping in his arms would be the only place I could feel safe and comfortable. “Sure. Just follow me, and I'll show you the way,” he answered, and started leading me out the way we had come. He looked more embarrassed than me, and his face had taken an additional red color in addition to the redness the tears had left.

After he had given me one of his large t-shirts and an old pair of sweatpants, he showed me the way to his bathroom. It was a huge room, even bigger then mine, and I felt a bit out of place there. Only a few products and towels showed that anyone even used it, and I found myself thinking about the magic Esme could have done in this place. After changing, I carefully folded my clothes, took out the hairpins and left them on the counter. I had abandoned the heels in his room the second we had gotten there, and my feet felt so bad after walking in them.

When I got back into his room, Alvin was already in bed. His bare back was facing me, and he was laying there overlooking the great view he had over the woods and a small lake in the distance. Even with his back against me he was beautiful. I swallowed, and looked down at myself. Wearing his way too large clothes made me feel very unattractive, but they did smell good though. They smelled like him.

When I walked around his bed and sat down at the edge of it he barely noticed. His face was bathing in the faint moonlight, and it looked like he was deep in thoughts. “Are you ok?” I whispered, and placed my hand gently over his. I tried to smile as gently as I could, and shared the little warmth I could with him. His eyes broke away from the window as I touched him. “Yeah, I was just thinking a bit,” he murmured, but he didn't return my smile. Mine fainted in the absence of his, and I began to doubt my decision to stay. Did he really want me to be there with him, or had he just thought so in that short moment of desperation and unbearable sadness? I withdrew my hand from his, and stared out the window where he had been looking only moments ago.

We sat there in silence for a long time, both of us to afraid or unsure of what to do next. Should I leave? Go back into that bathroom I just came out of, change back into my own clothes and go to Allison like I had told my parents? I let my gaze finally wonder back to Alvin, who was now almost sitting with his back rested against the headboard. His eyes were glued to his hands, his mouth still not smiling. “Do you want me to go?” I asked, my voice only a faint whisper. I truly didn't want to leave him, but if that was what he wanted me to, then I would grant his wish. He looked up at me again. “No, please stay,” he said and took my hand. He drew it closer to his face and placed it on his cheek under his hand. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He still wasn't smiling, and I let my other hand trace his jawline. I moved closer to him, still sitting at the edge of the bed. His skin was warm under the palm of my hand, just like the salty tears that had stained my shirt. His free hand moved down my back and very gently pulled me off the edge of the bed and closer to him. His hands were shaking slightly as his eyes locked with mine and he dropped the hand he had been holding mine with. “If you don't mind, I want you to stay.”

I moved even closer to him as he made room for me, and as he lay down he put his arm around my shoulder. I found the perfect place to rest my head, and looked up in his deep blue eyes. “I don't know if this makes any sense at all, but do you feel like we've known each other for ever? Like we sort of connect on a deeper level than anyone else?” I whispered as I placed my hand over his heart and felt his heart miss a beat as my skin touched his. His hand brushed the hair out of my eyes and very softly moved down my neck, over my collarbone until he reached my heart. “I do understand. If it wasn't that way, do you think I would have opened myself to you, let you see me at my most shameful and embarrassing moment? And do you think I would have asked you to stay like this now if that wasn't the case?” His eyes were burning with seriousness as he spoke the words. It was like warmth radiated from his hand, down under my skin and into my heart. I could have stayed in this moment forever, just being in his arms in the dark night. The voices that screamed at me and the fact that I was lying to my parents didn't matter anymore. As long as I could be here with Alvin, I would be ok. Alvin buried his face in my hair, and took a deep breath. “Is it ok if we just sleep now, Ellie?” he whispered, but it sounded like he was asleep already. “Sure. Good night,” I answered, but I could hear a light snore, and he was already asleep. I cuddled up even closer to him before I eventually fell asleep as well.

That night, while I fell asleep to the sound of our heartbeats, I had the most amazing dream. In my dream, what we were didn't matter. There were no vampires, no humans, only the two of us and the feelings we shared. Maybe, just maybe I could stay with Alvin as more then friends. Maybe he wouldn't care if I told him what I was? Sleeping there in his arms made me realize just how much I couldn't be without him, and how much I really... loved him. Tomorrow I had to tell my family all about him.


The song is called "Awakening" my Mae. It's a really beautiful song worht listening to :)
heyyyy
love this story post soon
Finally I got to read your story! I've been looking forward to this sequel for a long time but had ro many other stories going I didn't have time to read and must I add I'am happy to have had the plesure to do. I love how you have beutifuly written this addition. You wrote Ellie so well I fell in love with her charictor right from the start. She is so young still in every way, but yet becoming a woman. I really wish she would open up to at least her mom Ness about Alvin. Maybe if she would she would find out that he is her imprint. Well he is isn't he. The way you discribe her and his fellings sound to be an imprint to me. Also if she has no one would really try and come in between that relationship knowing that kind of bond and she would get some support from her family on this relationship. This story has got me so curious to what is going to happen next! I really can't wait much longer to read more.
So sorry it's been so long since my last post!!! I suddenly got a huge writing block, and had no idea how to finish this chapter. Think it's over now, thankfully, so I'll start writing more when I have the time :) Please read and commet, and let me know what you think.



Chapter 7, Breakfast (Ellie's point of view)

As I woke up I felt completely disorientated. Where was I, and how did I end up here? The room was dimly lit, with heavy curtains covering the huge windows. The smells was strange, yet they felt so familiar and homey. The sheets under me weren't mine, this wasn't my room, and the clothes I was wearing definitely weren't mine. I sat up, and a white sheet of paper fell of the bed.

Good morning Ellie

There are clean towels and a new toothbrush on the counter in the bathroom if you want to take a shower and stuff. I'm downstairs in the kitchen making breakfast, and waiting for you. And don't worry about my dad, he left early this morning, and he won't be back for a while. Take your time :)

Alvin


Images and memories started filling my mind. So what happened last nigh hadn't been a dream. I had really been on a date with Alvin, and he had really poured his heart out to me. I swallowed. And I had really stayed the night, and therefore broken every promise I had made to myself and to Allison. I could almost hear her voice in my head. Don't sleep over on the first date. Don't let him think you're that easy. I pulled my fingers through my hair and shook my head. Nothing happened though, so it wasn't a big deal right? And besides, what Alvin and I had wasn't just a crush or anything like that. We had a deeper connection, something neither one of us could explain, yet we both felt so intensely.

Just as the note said, fresh, fluffy towels were lying on the counter. I smiled at his thoughtfulness. By now, I was seriously starting to doubt if there really was any sort of god watching over and deciding our faiths. If there was, why would he or she even consider letting someone as Alvin even near my life? I tried to shake that though out of my head as I entered the shower. I had decided to just let the pieces fall into place as they wanted to, and not push Alvin away, so I couldn't keep getting these doubtful thoughts anymore. I tried to shower as fast as I could. I had no make up, no brush... no anything really, so I would look like a mess anyway. The smell of newly made pancakes started filling the house, so with a towel in my hair, wearing yesterdays clothes I ran down the stairs.

Finding the kitchen wasn't really that hard. I just let my nose follow the wonderful smell of food, and I found it right away. “Mm, that smells really good,” I said as I sat down at one of the bar stools by the counter. Alvin jumped a little at the sound of my voice, and turned from the stove to look at me. “Ops, sorry. Didn't mean to scare you,” I smiled. He met my eyes only for a second before he turned his attention towards the food again. That was weird, and a little rude. “It's ok,” Alvin mumbled, and handed me a plate with pancakes. He didn't look at me once, and without saying anything, he turned to the cooking again. Ok, something was definitely wrong here.

“Everything ok?” I asked. He seemed very distant, like his mind was somewhere fare away. “Mhm, I guess.” His tone was flat, without any hint of emotions. I got down from the stool, and went over to him. “Hey, you know you can tell me everything, right? Don't hide anything from me,” I murmured, and took his hand. He lowered his head, and looked at me. “I know,” he sighed, and turned towards me. “I know I don't have to. But after what happened last night I feel a bit weird. I can't believe I just broke down like that. Talk about manly, right?” He tried to laugh, not successfully, and looked down again.

“Don't say that. I won't judge you no matter what you do,” I said, and put my palm against his cheek. He sighed again, and seemed to relax a bit more when I touched him. It still sent small spikes of electricity down my arm. “This might sound a bit weird, but when I was with you it was like you unlocked a door in me that had been locked for years, which just brought all of the emotions I had been pushing away right to the surface.” He looked at me as he said it, and smiled this time. I let my hand drop from his chin, and hugged him. I pressed my face against his chest, and closed my eyes. He embraced me as he kissed the top of my head. I could stay like that forever. Just resting in his arms, let his dizzying smell surround me. He twisted some of my hair in between his fingertips and lifted my chin so that my eyes met his. He still held me tight against him, not letting me go.

I don't know how long we stood like that, just looking into each others eyes, smiling lightly. No words were needed, nothing more then the gentle line of his lips as he smiled at me, the deep pools his eyes were and the warmth he filled me with whenever he touched me. He completed me in a way I had never though anyone would ever do, or I would ever let anyone do. Even just after these short days, I knew that. When he had walked into my life, he had stirred something deep down in my soul, and he would always hold a special place in my heart.

“Those pancakes are going to get cold if we don't eat them,” I murmured. I had no idea how long I had been hugging him, but my stomach was starting to make embarrassing noises, and I needed food. “Oh, right,” he murmured, and let go of me.

The pancakes had turned cold, but they still tasted heavenly. The awkwardness between me and Alvin had disappeared again, and we were chatting loosely about everything and anything. It was so easy to be myself around him. To laugh at his joke, tell him things I hadn't told anyone before, and listen to him telling me about his childhood in all the corners of the world. Before I knew it, the clock had turned 12, and the sun was shining bright up at the sky.

“As much as I hate this, I really think I should be going. My mom and dad is going to freak out if I don't come home soon,” I said. Alvin looked a bit sad as I stood up from the chair, but he seemed to understand. He lead me out to the hall, and before he opened the door for me, he gave me another long hug. “Call me when you get home, ok? I want to know when I'll be able to see you again,” he whispered into my hair before he let me go. His breath was warm against my skin, and I felt as though I could faint right then and there if he moved any closer. “ 'key,” I mumbled a bit breathless, and before I made a total fool out of myself, I got out.

As I walked further and further away from the house, it was like my happiness was slowly drained, and all of the worries and fears I had felt before meeting Alvin returned. He had been like shield who protected me from the arrows of my dark sides, and without him there to protect me, they hit me with full power. Was it really right of me to stay in his life? He brought me so much light and happiness, could I possibly have the same effect on him? As I entered the forest, I started to run at full speed, and let the wind clear my mind. Now I really needed to tell my family about all this. I couldn't deal with all of these questions my mind kept trowing at me alone anymore. I needed the help of the ones who knew me best. And I needed it now.
Yeah block is gone!!!!!!!!

Now may I have more!

I'm really looking forward to her telling her family.
Here's chapter 8 :) Hope you'll like this one. Please leave a comment and let me know what you think of it :)



Chapter 8, Imprinted (Ellie's point of view)

“I'm home!” I called out as I opened the door and walked in. I already felt drained of power from holding up the blocking picture in my mind, and I had no idea how much longer I would manage to hold it up. I needed to talk to my mom right away, tell her everything that had been going on the last couple of days.

“Ellie? How did you get home? Did you walk all the way from Allison's? You could have called, and I would have picked you up. It's dangerous to walk the way from her house.” My mom bombed me with questions as she came rushing. “Mom, relax,” I mumbled and walked towards the living room. She frowned as she picked up on my mood, and followed me into the living room. “Ellie, is everything alright with you?” she asked as I threw myself down in one of the big couches, and closed my eyes. I knew I had to tell her everything, but now, I didn't know where to begin. Would she be upset and mad because I had been hiding something so big from her and everyone else? She probably would, but I hoped she would let me show her everything first. “No, I mean... yes, I'm ok. But there is something I have to tell you.” I took one deep breath as I opened my eyes, and sat up a bit to make room for my mom. She looked worried as she sat down.

“What is it honey? You know you can tell me everything.” She took my hand and her eyes became warm and motherly and understanding. “Everyone else is out at the moment, so you don't have to think about anyone hearing us.” She sent me a short image, telling me I could trust her, and smiled at me again. That small image made me feel better. I had always had my gift in common with her, the basics of it at least, and that connection between us always made me feel better. Even with that warm, calm expression on her face, I still saw the worrying and curiosity that was laying underneath, and I figured I might as well just start with the beginning. “I know. But promise me you won't say anything until I'm done,” I said. She just nodded, and took my other hand in hers as well. “Go ahead honey.”

So I started to show her. I let the images and the emotions flow through my mind to hers. Manipulated her mind into feeling everything I had felt. Even though I hated using my gift like that, it was the easiest solution now. Her eyes widened, and she looked like she was in shock for a second before she composed herself again. Then she smiled understandingly, and sat there quiet. That was not the reaction I had expected at all. I lost track of where I was in my story, and I just sat there looking at my mom smiling. Did she know what had happened to me and Alvin?

“Oh, honey. No wonder you've been acting like you've done these last couple of days,” she said as she pulled me into a tight hug. She seemed to relax now, but I still felt clueless, and even more confused then I had done before letting her see everything. “You're not mad? Or disappointed? Do you know what this is?” I asked as she let me go. Without answering me, she stood up and walked over to the window. She stood there looking out for a while, just staring at the clouds passing by. I really needed to know what she knew. Did she know the reason for my connection with Alvin? Why I felt like I did around him?

“So it did happen to you after all,” she said eventually, more to herself than to me, and turned towards me again. She walked back to me, and sat down next to me. I had so many questions I needed to ask, but they all seemed to be stuck in my throat. “We didn't know if this would happen to you, so we haven't told you anything about this before. We didn't want you to worry about something that might not have happened at all, but now that it has I guess you need to know it all.” I had no idea of what she was talking about, and when I opened my mouth to ask, no sounds came out. What did she mean by this? What had they been keeping from me?

“Well, you know how werewolves have special abilities and such, right?” she started to explain. I simply nodded, and waited for her to carry on. “Well, in addition to being able to read each others minds when in wolf form, they also have the ability to imprint.” she stopped speaking, and looked at me. Imprint? I had never heard that word before. What did it mean? She smiled, and carried on. “Well, to explain it in a simple way, it's like love at first sight, only a thousand times more powerful. You can't decide when or with whom you imprint, but when it happens, that person is what ties you to the earth. And when it's done, it can't be undone.” she stopped, and the words she was telling me started to make sense. Desperation started creeping up my spine, twisting itself in my stomach before crawling further up. “And from what you've let me see and feel, I think it's a good chance you've found your imprint in Alvin,” my mom said. She looked like she both wanted to smile and be serious at the same time, and she reached for my hand.

My head started to spin. Now, everything started to make sense. Why I had this incredible connection with Alvin, why he and I felt so comfortable in each others company. Why it felt like I had known him forever. He was tied to me, and would forever be mine and I his. Oh no. I rested my head in my hands, and started shaking my head. He couldn't be tied to me. That wasn't right. I would live forever, and he... No, that wasn't right. He couldn't be.

“Ellie?” my mom asked carefully. “I'm not mad at you. You don't have to be upset. This is a wonderful thing,” she murmured as she tried to take my hand again, but I shock it away. “No. No, no, no. This can't be happening,” I said as I flew from the couch. I started pacing back and forth, while shaking my head faster and faster. This couldn't be. If I was... if we were imprinted, that would mean that... No, I couldn't even thing the thought. Not even imagine him like that.

As I tried to collect the mess in my head, a new confusion was thrown into the mix. Why hadn't my parents told me about this earlier? Wasn't this something I should have been prepared for? This was something that would change my life forever, wouldn't it have been good with just one small warning? “Why didn't you tell me?” I almost shouted. I felt my eyes starting to sting, and the salty smell of my tears filled my nose. “Don't you think I should have known about this?” My mom looked sorry. “We didn't think we needed to. Your other werewolves genes haven't shown themselves, so we didn't think this one would either,” she explained, but I didn't want to hear.

Anger filled me along with the confusion and helplessness that was already overflowing. It was probably unreasonable and wrong of me to be mad at them. They hadn't done anything wrong. They weren't the ones to blame for everything. Yet, now, being reasonable didn't really matter. They had kept something so important from me all these years. If I had known about this, I would have never asked them to put me in a normal high school. I wouldn't have risked it. It would never be right for me to claim the life of an innocent human boy. Even the little hope I had once had to be able to stay in Alvin's life, if only for the extent of his short, human life, was gone now. The fact that we were imprinted with each other made everything I had already feared so much clearer. Being imprinted with him meant that I would never be able to live without him. It meant that I could never deal with the day that eventually would come. The day he would die, and I would keep on living forever. And that meant that he would have to become a... that he would be turned into... No!

“Ellie, please tell me what you're thinking,” my mom begged, and she walked over to me. The tears were already flowing free from my eyes, and the though of her even touching me, talking to me, felt repulsive. She had lied to me about something so important my entire life, what right did she have to comfort me now? “Don't touch me!” I shouted as she raised her arm to embrace me. I took one step away from her, and with the step I took I saw sadness filling her expression. “I'm sorry Ellie,” she started, but I couldn't listen to her. “No. Don't say anything,” my voice was shaking as I took another step away from her. She looked so hurt, defeated, and she let her arm drop. “I need to get out of here,” I mumbled, and walked fast out of the living room. I heard my mom following me, and started to run. I tried to place an image in her mind, using my gift in the way I hated, but I didn't know if it really worked this time. I felt so upset, which made the images flicker and disappear completely.

My mom's steps stopped as I slammed the door open and ran out of the house. I didn't know where I was going, but all I knew was that I had to get away from everyone. Everything that had happened the past few minutes kept spinning around in my mind. Imprint, an eternal bond. Being tied to Alvin forever. Even the cold breeze around me couldn't clear my mind now. I ran as fast as I could until my lungs were screaming for air, but my mind still felt like it was going to explode.

Without even thinking about it, my feet brought me right to the center of everything. As I stood breathless there in between the trees, gasping for air, I could see the big house glistening in the sun. Even with the complete mess in my head, I needed those warm arms to embrace me. The one person who could make all the bad things go away. And without listening to all the warnings screaming in my mind, I started walking to the door.

“Ellie?” Alvin asked, a bit shocked, as he opened the door. Before even thinking about it, I threw myself into his arms. I was crying so hard now, and without even asking any questions, Alvin pulled me into his arms as he held me tight. Everything felt so right there with him, just like it was supposed to when you were imprinted with each other, yet there was a bittersweet feeling laying underneath it all. That feeling was so strong, so impossible for me to ignore. My fingers were clasping his shirt so hard they turned white, and my breath came in short, strained hiccups. Alvin picked me up in his arms, and carried me to the living room.

I don't know how long we sat there, but eventually my crying died out, and I was laying completely still in Alvin's arms. He was stroking my hair gently, and kept whispering calming words in my ear. “Ellie, are you all right?” he whispered, and lifted my chin so that he could look me in the eyes. Even his strong gaze couldn't push away all of the new doubts and fears that kept appearing in my head. I had no idea how to answer his question.

Everything that once had been had changed. The carefree laughter and words that had passed between us in this very house just hours ago couldn't bee further away now, and now I couldn't even talk to him. “You don't look ok. Want to tell me about it?” he asked, and pulled me a bit closer. Even the good feelings he filled me with couldn't bring a smile to my lips now. No matter how good and right everything felt now, it still felt so terribly wrong at the same time.

I tried to dry away the last tears from my cheeks as I gathered myself together the best I could. I had made a mistake by coming here. Alvin shouldn't see me like this. I couldn't let him be the one to pick up the pieces of my own mess, even if he was partially a part of it. I took a deep breath, and smiled the best I could. I would push everything away just for now, for Alvin's sake. He didn't need this on top of his own problems. “I'm fine,” I said, my voice a bit shaky. He frowned and looked at he with concern in his eyes. “Really. It's no big deal. I just overreacted about something at home, and you were the only one I wanted to see,” I explained, and made my smile even wider. He didn't look convinced at all.

“Really,” I tried again. He still looked at me with that strong and stern gaze, filled with concern. I took his face in my hands, and looked at him. He still didn't smile, but he still let one of his hands cover one of mine. “Do you mind if I stay here for a while?” I asked, still holding his face between my hands. Now, he smiled just a little. “Of course you can stay,” he answered. I smiled again, and no matter how much I would regret it later, I did the one thing that could make me feel even the slightest bit better.

Slowly, I moved closer to him. His breath swept across my face as our lips were just an inch apart, and I could hear his heart miss a beat. Without thinking, without listening to the plan forming in my mind, I kissed him. Without hesitation, I let my lips brush against his, letting all the emotions that filled me burst out. He held me so tenderly as he answered the kiss, pulling me closer. In that short moment, I forgot everything in a short, perfect second. Every worry, hurt, fear, feelings of betrayal... everything disappeared as I got lost in his lips, his scent and his soul so close to mine.

But the moment he pulled away, everything came crashing back. And now, it felt so much worse. Kissing him made me see what I had to do so much clearer. “El,” he breathlessly said my name. He still held me in his arms, and the feeling of it made me want to cry. I buried my face in his chest to hide the expression I couldn't make go away. He seemed so happy, just as a part of me did, and I couldn't ruin this for him by letting him see the part of me that wanted to scream of agony.

When I finally looked up at him, I couldn't find any trace of the concern in his eyes anymore. He was glowing, his eyes like the bright summer sky and his lips smiling in a perfect line. He stroke my cheek, and brushed a few strands of hair out of my face. I didn't know what to say now, and it didn't seem like he did either.

We sat there in silence for a long time. The clarity I suddenly felt made looking him in the eyes even more painful, but I couldn't look away. I tried to memorize everything about him. The way he smelled, every line of his face, the exact blue color in the depth of his eyes. I wanted to lock every small part of him somewhere in my memory, carry it with me forever.

I must have fallen asleep there in his arms, because when I opened my eyes again, the sun was already starting to set. “Oh,” I said as I tried to rub the sleep out of my eyes, and I sat up. “How was your sleep? You looked like you needed it, so I just let you drift of,” Alvin said, and helped me up. Had he been sitting there the entire time? I smiled at him, even though it made my heart sting. “Thank you. Sorry I just slept all the time, and that we didn't really get to talk. And I think I need to go home now,” I said as I got up. He got up as well, and walked we out in the hall.

Without thinking again, I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him again. I had to stand on my toes to reach his lips, and he lifted me from the ground and held me tight as he kissed me. As he put me down on my feet, he still held onto my hand, and even when I opened the door he wouldn't let go of it. When I looked at him, I could see the concern that had crawled back in his eyes. “I promise I'll tell you everything soon, ok? I just need to fix things with my parents first. But could we maybe go to the part after school on Monday, and I'll explain everything to you there?” I said and smiled. He still seemed concerned, but let go of my hand and agreed to come with me to the park.

As I walked away from the house I felt my heart fall deeper and harder in my chest. The tears that had been pushing on my eyelids ever since I kissed Alvin finally started to fall, and as I took of running I couldn't help but to think of all the promises I would break and the hearts I would break.


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If something seems confusing or maybe a bit wrong in some places, I'll explain everything in the next chapter ;)

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