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Thank you guys all so much for the many banners made for ESA :) even the forced ones! (Sorry RHI-RHI)
Moving back (BPOV)
Coming back to Carlisle was as much exciting as it was dreadful. When we had grown too 'old'
to still reside in our old town, Carlisle had tried to drag me to Chicago, Illinois but i had refused i wanted to live in Europe for a while, life in the United States always reapeating had made me suffer. I had tried to convince him to come with me but it had been worthless he had still gone to Chicago, now the centre of Chaos, the Heartland of the now a very serious cough. He was, as always, following his calling, like he had when he had saved me, me but not my mom or dad. just me, mom and dad's hearts having already stopped by the time he got to us, just mine had kept going. But now it was frozen as much as his.
He hadn't known when we had separated that his job would turn into caring for this ver weird strain of cough but that didn't matter as i came to reunite with him. He was once again my 'brother', i would be his very educated sister, stuck with him after our parents had been killed in a 'robbery'. Atleast he had spared me the torture of sitting through classes by saying i had had a private tutor, he had by now set up everything for me to move back in with him. But i was certain that going back now was tempting fate as he would be very short tempered because he couldn't be at the hospital 24 hours straight trying to find out the similarities between his sick patients. That would be too bad, but atleast i would actually have him during the day, just my nights would be lonesome, and even then maybe i would go to the hospital and help him, he would be happy to have untireable help, i was sure.
I had returned not because of the war, but because i had missed him, i had left in 1915 before the States had joined the war, and now i was returning, because I missed Carlisle and the on going sameness of life back home.
The new house was just as big as the last one had been. Carlisle offered me to come with him to the hospital so i could meet all his assistants and the nurses. I had refuesed. I wouldn't go to the hospital my first day back with him, not the first day back in the states. He left for the hospital an hour before the sun set, so i decided to grab a jacket, Though i didnt need it, and go for a walk, maybe pick up some books from any store, not that Carlisle hadn't kept all my books from before i left. As i walked in the park i saw HIM. He was with a woman that appeared to be his mother, with her same hair, and a man, i guessed he must have been the father. They were a beautiful family, mother and son with bronze hair. They were having a picnic, and laughing so hard it was almost impossible for me to take my eyes of them.
In the middle of their laughter the older man started to cough, loud and hard. I didn't need to be Carlisle to know he was sick, but apparently his family did. Sad for them for if he didn't have that cough cure soon he wouldn't be around them for long. I walked on, they may have been the happiest humans i had seen in so long, but they were just that, humans, never knowing what was best for them and always making mistakes. I went home after that, sad to see happiness never lasted. i read for the rest of the night, waiting for Carlisle to come back.
"Bella?" Carlisle called softly as he came in.
"I'm over here!" I called from his study.
I looked up as he came in the door. "How was the hospital?"
"Bad, there are more people getting sick, i dont think it's just a cough anymore, i think i may be more." He had gone on talking about the Symtoms and its targets. I listened and discussed what it could be. But life went on... well time did, life, for me atleast, had stopped forty years ago.
Please comment, what do you think? i like to know :)
Chapter 1 : Reasons
Everywhere we stopped there was a casualty. I guess he couldn't help it, but… it was growing to be too much. Every two days his thirst would get uncontrollable. It's all my fault.
His eyes didn't soften from the harsh red anymore. If I were human I would say I've lost count of the deaths he has collected, but I'm not, and my memory is better than a human's. To those who knew how to follow it, we were leaving a neat trail north of deaths, to everyone else it was just random disappearances. And this was just traveling up to Detroit. My guess was Carlisle must have taken good care of the bodies, we never heard about the deaths while were in the town, though we were never in town more than a day.
All the way up to our new home there was always this deep hope that the search parties found Ann's body already, buried neatly under the beautiful roots of the willow, where once again I had cried the tears neither the willow nor I could weep. I hated myself for not making Carlisle turn in her body to be mourned and buried properly… but I couldn't do anything else. Could I? I could barely stand to see her broken body in Carlisle's arms.
I had planted flowers for her, and done everything I could have thought, but I knew nothing I ever did would reconcile her death.
Nowadays I spent my days and nights remembering, that seemed to be all I could do. It was like when I had left for France, but this time I couldn't enjoy the clothes, the sights, the sounds, just the memories. Felt myself fall deep into my thoughts, what else did I have to live for now?
We were home.
I hadn't helped looking for a place for him, so I had no idea where we would end up. I looked around, new furniture, the ceilings, the walls, everything was fixed, no burns remained from the last time I was here. It smelled like home. The sunlight filtered in, like it always had.
Before we even moved I had tried to forced Carlisle to get a house far from the town he would be working in, and he had. Around a hundred miles away from Ashland, Wisconsin, where he would be working in a small hospital at the edge of the town. The house he had gotten for us was my old home, where I grew up. Carlisle had had it rebuilt. I told him it didn't have to be so far away but he had insisted. I just hoped that being so close to Ontonagon I didn't feel the need to go into town and see HIM. HE was married, with many children even grandchildren.
One reason I had made him situate us so far is because I was terrified that some innocent little boy getting into the house and finding him, or Edward finding someone. This house was in the middle of the woods almost, perfect setting for the house of the vampires. I was too afraid to be in the house alone with Edward, I worried about what I would say, that I would reproach him for killing so many so far, or worse that I would blame him for my mistakes. Here I was a nurse in the town, the doctor's sister, once again.
As we rode in the car to the town I told Carlisle or "James" Cullen my thoughts. "Maybe it was fast, too rash, for me to ask you to turn him. He's delivering death all over the place, Carlisle he should have at least more control by now, right? I mean how long has it been?"
"Eve," In this town I would be Eve and he would be James, using our names here would be too much of a give off if anyone came looking around. "you have to be patient, your good control is just a fluke, one in a thousand I'm sure." HE was going to say something but I interrupted.
"What about you? You haven't ever killed anyone. Carlisle he wasn't made for this, he was made to be an angel after his life, maybe that's why he is killing so much now, because I ruined his soul. I took away his soul and now he is the opposite of what he was supposed to be." I really did… do believe this. He seemed thoughtful for a minute.
"I don’t think that's it at all Eve. I think you should give him time.
"I never told you what happened with Eliza while you took Edward Sr. to the new room did I? No. She was in shock after I told her how badly off her husband was, she began to panic and I had worried she would go under and have a heart attack, so I administered a small amount of morphine into her system, yes it made her sleepy but I had calmed her, and in a way to speak, dulled her pain. But while she was in that state she had said how you two were perfect for each other. She had said something about you dulling his senses, and something about his purity to draw you to him. And many other things. That was what had gotten to me. She was so serious about it, even though she didn't know half of what she was saying. That was why I had made you take them home with you."
I looked incredulously at him. "You listened to her? JUST a human? I could have killed them!"
He shook his head before he had heard my whole question. "Impossible, you wouldn't have. Not after forty years of experience." He had mumbled under his breath, even though I could still hear him. When I had opened my mouth to remind him that never had I been so close to human before he just ignored me and moved on. He had left everything to chance."You wouldn't have... She was the only person to see me differently not because of our super human beauty but because something was different. She was never wrong. I knew that before." He was reluctant to say what was next.
"and…?" I urged him.
"And she said he was perfect, to cure your mourning, and that your purgatory had lasted long enough. My only guess was that the medicine did something to her but it made her see things more clearly. Also everything she said made sense." He shrugged.
"Why are you telling me this?" I had to ask.
"Because I knew your purpose in life could have been just to be miserable, you have to have patience and wait for your happiness. Edward will grow out of this."
I sat quietly thinking he was right, wasn't he?
I had waited. Nothing changed, if anything everything got worse. Why hadn't I seen something like this would happen?
- new reader -
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Chapter 2 : Haunt
Today, the present, I must remember to live in the present. Today I stand in the center of the town I grew up in: Ontonagon. If they only knew how close to them I got sometimes. I bet they later find my trails, or not. I know it must hurt them to know I still haunt them and never stop by but I just can't stop myself. I do know that they, Carlisle and Edward, wait for me in the same house still.
But even in the pain I am in I can't just sit an do nothing, I have to move. Now as I think this I feel the Earth move without me and feel dizzy. I often feel dizzy now, as if my gravitational center were somewhere else… I walk to the bench and sit just as a small group of people walking down the street, all centering around a woman in a wheel chair, all dressed in black. Immediately I recognized the woman, it was Mia, and she was rolling her wheel chair and family my way. I hopped up as fast as I could without drawing attention to myself which wasn't much faster than human speed. I should have paid more attention to the people walking by. The only thing I could do now was hope that none of them had noticed me. I walked behind the bench quickly and walked with my back to the crowd. I tried to swiftly but slowly move through the bushes of the park.
Before I could get far enough into the park to run away, a small child tugged on my skirt. When I looked into his face if I could have I would have feinted. It was the same face, the exact face. I couldn't have seen his face longer than a second before he looked down, but still I had seen his face, it was the same. it couldn't be. This kid was long dead, or he should have been. I looked into his eyes… maybe… if they were red I would know… before I could get a better look into his face he took my hand and started pulling me back to the group. But I needed to look at his face, the need was desperation itself. Yet I could bring myself to stop and look and so quickly I started to think of a story, in case I hadn't lost my mind and all of this was really happening.
The woman in the wheelchair, Mia, looked bewilderedly into my face. Her mouth opened into a delicate "oh". She still had her curious blue eyes and small nose though her hair was no longer blonde but white.
"What's your name child?" The woman that is Mia asked.
"Muh…my name is… is Eve. Eve Heming." I didn't have to fake the stutter so much as just talk and let it flow. Mia's brow furrowed, as if confused.
"Don't worry child. We won't harm you. You… you just look like someone I used to know. You look like my sister, though I have no idea what she looks like now." She was quiet, and looked around at the faces of her family. I did too. They were all staring at me wide eyed. "Child why don't you come have tea at out house?" How old is she now? She was 19 when I died. She must have been 60 now. I nodded. What else? I wanted to talk to her as much as she seemed to want to talk to me. "Michael lead the way?" She pointed to the kid that had my hand. I looked down at him and finally saw his eyes. They were light blue like Mia's which explained nothing but that they were related, and maybe further proved that I was losing my mind without Edward and Carlisle.
^_^ Don't be too confused if you don't know who Mia will be. though i do sorta say it. I had the begging planned a different way but it didn't work out, but i'll explain that next.
Chapter 3 : Mia
Before meeting Edward, the greatest pains I had suffered were the separation from my family and the fire of transformation, now the pain of separation from him has been added to the count. Sometimes thinking about my family distracted me from Edward.
Now, as I am being dragged by this child I know only too well should be a phantom but feels all to real , I think back.
I think of Mia. Not the same Mia that rolls her wheel chair right behind me, thiough she was the same forty years ago. I think back to the time she was a girl, full of energy, even as she saw her family die in the place where she thought was her home
The days after my transformation were, if anything, painful and surprising. I had told Carlisle to give the house to Mia, my child hood friend, my sister, she in fact had been adopted by my parents. When Mia's mother had died my parents had adopted her, treated her like she was their own. I had done like wise even before she was alone. Mother had never been able to have anymore children after me and Mia was a good addition.
The Thanksgiving my family had died, Mia had gone out, I don’t even remember what she had gone out to get, she was going to come back later. I was glad that she hadn't died, glad that some part of my family had lived, even if I would never again see her. William was going to come too. William… I had left him behind as well.
Carlisle had told Mia he had found me alive and was having me taken somewhere else, where I could heal.
I could see pain in her face as I had seen it that day, when she was got to the house in time to see me laying, crumpled on the floor. Though I was already wreathing with pain only the transformation could cause and could only see her face for a second. I remembered how William had held her back, trying to comfort her. I was glad Will had been there for her…
When my parents died they had no will. Ironic, who would have thought that a lawyer would have no will. Since there had been no will and I still remained "alive" I got everything. I asked Carlisle to give everything to Mia, but she didn't want anything. Carlisle had told me that after the death of my parents she had wanted nothing that reminded her of their death. In the end Carlisle could only make her keep some money and a house he had had built for her in town. From there on he became our guardian, though technically we hadn't needed one since we were both over eighteen.
After we left town she didn't hear much from us. In the beginning we exchanged letters but she said nothing relevant, out of fear of setting my recuperation back, and I said nothing relevant in fear of telling her too much. The letters were slow, in coming and going, until in the end they trickled into nothingness within a year.
^_^ It didn't take so long once i knew what to do.