I'm reposting this Leah and Jacob One Shot that has been deleted. It takes place after Breaking Dawn, but Nessie never existed in this story. So time had passed and Jacob had had his time to forget Bella... Blackwater! sorry for the grammar mistakes :D
ALL THE CHARACTERS BELONG TO STEPHENIE MEYER.
Everything We Are - 'And since then, love is blind and craziness takes after him.'
So this was the situation. It had been a while since things with Jacob had turned blurred… different. It had been a while since my feelings toward him were more than some friendly feelings, a while since my eyes saw him in a completely new way.
And as much as I'd wanted to hide it, I sometimes found it impossible to contain myself. Well, most of the times, when he was in the garage without anything in that muscular chest of him. Jeez Leah, pull yourself together, woman! My brain would snap at me. And almost every time I'd have to excuse myself to the 'bathroom', when I was really excusing to go breathing. I swear sometimes he'd think I had some stomach issue; I didn't blame him – going more than ten times to the bathroom in less than an hour could've given suspicious.
Once, some months ago, I decided it was time to woman up and just tell him what I felt. Of course I didn't tell him entirely what I was feeling, but I did give him a pretty good picture of my need of him as in more than a friendly way.
And the j****** just stood frozen in the forest and told me he didn't want to get hurt and that he didn't know what he felt for Bella and blah, blah, blah. His loss!
Yeah right! I almost died there. But of course I didn't show that to him and of course after that I acted as cold as ever and I talked to him the least possible. Now I was better, but I was as bitter and cold with him as I could. Didn't need to push my luck.
Now I was in La Push Night Club trying to forget the unforgettable with vodka. It was Embry's birthday, so even though we didn't actually grow, we still celebrated it – at least for our emotional selves.
I was in the bar, drinking one glass and then another one so I wouldn't pay attention to the girl that was hitting on Jacob. He was sitting in a table next to Quil and Embry, and the girl giggling at him and pressing her bare chest to his shoulder. Ugh, I hated her!
Vodka, vodka, vodka. That was my only and best friend tonight. Even though I was far away from them I could still see his eyes full of desire as he saw that girl. And my heart suddenly cracked. Ouch. I thought I was better, I thought I had actually progressed a bit… But seeing him like that, it was just too much.
Reflexively I covered my eyes with my hands and looked away. Breathing in and out I tried to concentrate on anything but the scene that would occur in just minutes. I knew it well; first giggles, then touches, then kisses… Argh! I wanted to rip my own mind; I thought it was with me on this one!
A hand suddenly touched my shoulder. "'You alright?" A deep, unfamiliar voice said.
I instantly shook the arm off me. "Back off," I growled. Not even bothering to see who it was.
"Sorry," I heard him mumbling back as he started to walk away.
And there it hit. There I saw what was happening. Jacob was hitting on this girl, enjoying his time as hell, and not even caring a freaking inch I was just some feet from him!
And what was I doing? Just whining for some stupid jerk that wouldn't choose me even if I was the last woman on this damn Earth! And I was just sick of that.
In an almost inhuman movement I gulped my last glass of vodka and ripped my black dress with my hands. It was all too angelical. Well, not angelical – but it wasn't provocative either.
I ripped it from below so there was now a big cut that showed my entire leg to my thigh. Then I completely cut out one of the sleeves of the dress, leaving the other one torn – exposing my naked shoulder.
Ha, this would be a hell of a change. And yes, God was smiling to me today, because in that same second 'I love rock and roll' started to sound from every speaker of the place.
With a graceful movement and a devil smile on my lips I walked passed the table of the guys. I saw Jacob's stare following me for some seconds as how he would stare any girl with a too short dress, and then posing his eyes on me again with his mouth hanging open. In other words; realizing that girl with a short dress was me.
With the same devil smile and now with also an arched eyebrow I climbed the principal bar of the night club. The one that was almost in front of Jacob's eyes.
And there I started to move. To move as I had never done in my entire life. Moving my hips, my ass, my legs, my arms – every part of my body in the most provocative way possible. People were already staring from bellow, mostly men. Some were making wolves sounds – in which in response I couldn't do anything but laugh, because how damn right they were!
I peeped at that damn table once, just to see that Jacob wasn't there anymore. I could see the girl with her arms crossed through her chest and an angry face. And then my eyes met Quil and Embry that were almost drooling over as they checked me out with surprised stares.
I grinned mischievously ones and was continuing with the next song when I felt a hand on my leg. I moved away with a big step and shoot a killing look to the blonde guy. How dared he!
I continued dancing a bit more, now more aware, but still in a provocative way – when another hand found my leg.
"What's wrong with you?" I shouted to a red haired man and moved away some more inches. I sighed deeply, what was I doing? Jacob wasn't even here, he didn't care! What was I trying to prove myself?
I wanted to prove myself that I could do it. That I could live without him. So I breathed deeply and started to dance again. When at some point another male hand found me, but this time it found my ass. I stayed frozen as this one took me completely off guard.
Suddenly the hand was not on me anymore, but I was still frozen in my place – it wasn't me the one doing it. I looked down to find a scared brunette boy looking up to a scary brunette Jacob.
"I'm sorry, man." The boy gasped and ran away from his spot. Just then Jacob's eyes found mine. And for the tiniest fraction of a second his deep chocolate eyes melted me and a huge need to cry invaded me.
I composed again as I saw his angry eyes on mine. "What the hell do you think you are doing, Leah?" He almost growled.
I fumed at him, who did he think he was? "Whatever I want to do, Jacob." I growled back and started dancing again. He was following every step I made with one of his bellow me.
"Get down there, now." He ordered.
I laughed sarcastically. "Yeah, wait there. I'm going." I said as I moved my butt just in front of some guy's eyes. This wasn't me, I wasn't like this. I just wanted HIM to notice ME!
The guy was going to reach it when Jacob's hand restrained his just in time. And then with a fast and tough movement he grabbed my wrist and took me in his arms. Without me even having time to complain he stormed out of the place. His arms firmed on my body.
"Let off me, Jacob!" I hissed when we were already outside, the music going lower with every fast step of him.
"I won't let off you, Leah. Just stop whining please, grow up." He hissed back. His voice cold.
Grow up? That was it. I kicked his chest as hard as possible with my foot and let myself off his strong and hot cage.
"Ouch!" He complained, rubbing it.
"Who's whining now, huh?" I bragged, as I adjust my too tiny, uncomfortable dress.
He glared at me. "Jeez, why did you do that?"
"Why did I do that? Because you are just a hypocrite jerk!" I snapped, too angry to just talk.
"Why am I a hypocrite? You are the one that is always talking crap about those girls that go to a bar, get drunk and do any crazy thing. So please don't come with that," He snorted.
I sighed angrily, and held a finger in the air. "First, that is a whole other thing. I don't talk crap about them, I just say—" But I had to trail off, because I really hadn't a reply for that. I was a hypocrite; I had talked crap of those girls… But just because I didn't understand them before, because these feelings I was experimenting towards Jacob now, were totally different from anything I'd felt before, even with Sam. They made me do blind, crazy things.
"Oh, but don't change the subject! I was telling you that you are an hypocrite because you tell me that I have to grow up, when it's you who have rejected me, because 'you were scared that you'd get hurt' when I went in a mature behavior and told you…" I trailed, not wanting to really continue the idea.
He sighed deeply and turned around so now I was seeing his big back. "Tell me what?" He gasped.
That son of a*edited by mod* Did he want me to feel the rejection again? "Nothing,"
"Tell me, please." He whispered again. "I want to know."
Why because you want to feel even more perfect? Because you want to feed you ego a bit more? NO WAY.
"I don't know, it was long ago and I didn't know what I was saying. But anyway I went in a mature way." I lied, saying each word as casual as possible.
I suddenly felt him tense. He was quite for some minutes after he talked again, this time his voice had a husky edge. "Why you have to go show yourself in a bar?"
"I don't do such a thing! I was having fun!" I fumed, angriness irradiating from every pore of my body. So much that my body started to shake.
He snorted. "Having fun as men treat you as their toy?" His body suddenly shaking too. I wanted so much to stare at his face right now, to punch him hard on those beautiful prominent cheeks he had. But no, I could just see his back.
"Shut up, Jacob! It's my life!" I shouted, angry and now… hurt.
He suddenly turned around, his same eyes showed something strange in their depths. Some kind of pain. "It's not only your life, Leah! You don't know how your actions make the other ones feel!"
He giving me a moral lecture? He that was just moments ago flirting with a girl only feet from me?
"Please, Jacob, just give me a break." I muttered and started to walk away.
Seconds later a hot hand restrained me by the wrist. "I won't give you a break, I'm talking to you! I'm telling you that you should care more about you and not be with any random guy that can do anything to you!" His eyes were deep on mine as he spoke. And I just wanted punch his little, perfect nose with all my might.
"Look who is talking! The one that was just moments ago hitting on with some wh*re from the place!" I snapped to him.
"She was not a wh*re, and I wasn't going to do anything with her. I was just…"
"Having fun? That's what I was doing, Jacob." I said matter of factually. He just stayed quite, he knew I was right. "You know what? I'm really sick of your games, just leave me alone. Alright? Go live your happy life with your happy friends, and just LEAVE ME ALONE!" I shrieked at the end. My sight blurred for the tears that were threatening to spill from my eyes.
"I CAN'T LEAVE YOU ALONE, LEAH. I CAN'T!" He shouted back, his voice faltering a bit at the end.
I stared at him deeply on the eyes. "Why? Why can't you? Huh?" I snapped. Angriness and anxiety consuming every inch of reason I still had on me. "Tell me, just tell me! Don't you see you are the one that have to grow up? So come on, man up and tell me why-"
"Because I LOVE YOU!" He shouted back.
And there my heart froze. "You what?"
"I love you. In every single second of my damn long day I love you, Leah. With every cell of my stupid body!" He shouted, his eyes instantly turned to the floor. "And now I can't do anything else to hide it. I tried everything, everything but I would just think of you even more. I told you what I told you because I was too afraid to admit what I felt, because it was too powerful. But then it got worse and worse and I tried to get closer to you but you'd just be so cold around me, so distant… That I decided it was best to step aside." He then shook his head. "CRAP!" He yelled, upset and kicked a stone that was resting in the floor, sending it feet away.
Then with trembling legs he turned around and started to walk away.
I stood there, frozen. Unable to speak, unable to walk, unable to even breathe. Those words sunk in my brain in an immensely hard way, crashing every inch of realization I still had on it.
My voice was buried deep down my body, and I couldn't find it no matter how much I was trying to. I fought for words to come out, to tell him how every cell of my body craved for him too. How crazy I was for him, how I wasn't ever able to stop myself thinking about his laugh and his eyes - those beautiful, chocolate eyes he had – in a single second of my days, and my nights.
But they weren't obeying; the words had left me alone. Ugh, when you need them the most… So I found a stone - one like the one he had just thrown away - beside my right foot. My legs may not be working, but my arms were. I took it with a fast movement and threw it as hard as possible through the air, apologizing to the stars if that would hurt him. He was really far, but anyway it landed exactly where I wanted - on his back.
He stopped abruptly, and after what it seemed to be the act of taking a deep breathe, he slowly turned around. Even if we were almost a mile away, I could see his unique eyes posed intently on mine, his arms crossed over his chest. Just that simple expression on his gave me goose bump. Not because he scared me, but because it gave me so much thrill… Knowing the way he felt towards me, and then, having him just a mile away, holding that expression. Unbelievable.
His eyes were puzzled as he saw me as a cold statue in my place. So as my voice was still not working, and my legs still paralyzed, I made use of my hand – well, my finger. I flexed my finger several times, motioning him as to 'come here' with it. He arched an eyebrow in response, but his feet seemed to be automatically programmed to obey my wish. They came forward, and forward, not getting the hint of their owner to stop there. I couldn't stop myself and a smile flashed through my lips, detaching a low giggle.
His steps were faster and surer with every meter of muggy ground he traced. And my finger, more impatient. In the last steps he was almost running, and I was just too excited, my bottom lip was almost bleeding of the pressure I was applying to it.
He stopped one foot away from me, and slowly, with little, almost inexistent steps, came closer to me. Just inches from my face, he spoke in a whisper. His scent intoxicating my essence.
"What Leah? What do you want?"
"You," I shrugged, smiling for the truthfulness that single word held. Him. I wanted Jacob Black all for myself. To kiss him every time I wanted, to laugh with him in my boring days, to yell at him when I'd be pissed with life. To take care of him and try to make him happy as much as possible. Just to love him. "I love you. How could you ever doubt that?" I smiled.
He brought me closer with a rough movement with one strong hand, and then, after giving me a deep look and in the fraction of time a shooting star would have flashed through the sky, his lips crushed to mine. Tracing them with devotion, showing them that heaven did exist.
His arms wrapped my torso in a protective way, as my hands memorized his formed neck. In those minutes our mouths were intertwined, everything seemed so much in place that it was almost impossible. As if every doubt I'd had that I didn't worth enough, that I would never be what everyone expected of me, hadn't ever had a chance. They all faded away, and instead, my system was filled with hope, and happiness.
So what if we hadn't imprinted? Love is much better, love is real, is freedom. Love is blindness and craziness all together… Is crying and laughing. Love is fighting, is touching, is kissing… Love is giving and receiving. Is happiness and misery. Love is finding the meaning of life and enjoying it.