This is a collection of short stories on the Cullens’s worst holiday mishaps. Not sure if I’m gonna wait till the holidays actually come or I’ll just write out of order.
All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. I do not own Wal-Mart, though that would be cool.
Fourth of July
We were all sitting in the living room, where our family spent most of the time. I was sitting on the couch next to Edward, who was flipping through the TV channels. Rosalie was adding on to Renesmee’s baby book, and Alice was looking through a fashion magazine, Jasper silently next to her. Carlisle was still at work, and Renesmee was outside playing with Jacob.
“OH, C’mon Esme! Please?” Emmett’s loud voice boomed as they burst through the door.
“No Emmett. How many times must I tell you?” Esme sounded annoyed. This is what she often needs to deal with. Poor woman, she needs a break. Though it would be hard for her to find a suitable baby sitter…..
“How many times have you told me?” Emmett asked.
“About a million” Esme answered.
“In that case, a million and twenty!” Emmett grinned.
“NoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNo!!!” Esme yelled. Emmett swore.
“Emmett, we are not doing fireworks again. Remember two years ago? “
“The trees grew back eventually!” Emmett protested. Esme shot him a look.
“What are they talking about?” I asked Edward. He chuckled.
“4th of July, and celebrating it. Last time didn’t turn out to good…” Edward voice drifted off, and Jasper told the story…
“Em, are you sure about this?” I asked. Fireworks and flammable vampires didn’t mix well, for what I know.
“Pshhaw, Jazz. Stop being such a killjoy.” Emmett growled.
We were in Wal-Mart and it was Fourth of July. Normally, a small town like this didn’t have big plans for these holidays. But Emmett did. And the whole family was terrified.
“AHA! Hear we go!” Emmett picked up these large bottle rockets, and a bunch of other junk off the shelf. We made our way up to the front counter to pay.
“Ahh, I see your having a big party.” the cashier said as he scanned our stuff.
“You bet” Emmet said. I sighed. This was going o be a long day.
“Were home!!” Emmett yelled when we walked in the front door. Everyone looked at Emmett’s bag.
“Oh no” Carlisle said. I gave him an apologetic look.
“I couldn’t stop him. Sorry.”
“Everyone stop chatting and get in the back yard.” Emmett ordered. We all trudged unwillingly out the back door.
Emmett began unloading the fireworks. He help a lighter in one hand.
“Be careful” Esme warned.
“Yeah, I know, Oh this is gonna be awesome!!!” he yelled enthusiastically. We all scowled.
“Okay. Jazz I need help.” Emmett yelled. I rolled my eyes
“Keep that thing away from me” I said pointing at the lighter as I walked over. He laughed and lit it, holding it up to my nose. I hissed and swatted it out of his hand. It fell on the bottle rocket: right on the fuse.
“CRAP!” Emmett yelled, and me and him started running for our lives, not wanting to be near it when it went. But something must have went wrong, because two seconds later, It exploded.
We all jumped back from the inferno, all cussing at the same time.
“AHH!! PUT IT OUT! PUT IT OUT!” Rose screeched. She was running around in circles, her sleeve on fire.
“Hold on!” Alice yelled. She ran for the hose.
Rose was rolling on the ground.
“PUT IT OUT!! NOW!!”
Alice ran back and started spraying Rose. She screamed even more. Finally, the flame was put out, and Rosalie was left soaking in the mud. We all broke down into laugher, even Esme giggled.
“This is my favorite blouse!” Rose yelled, staring at her burnt and charred sleeve. She looked like she was about to cry.
“Whoa. That was awesome! I am so doing this again next year.”
“No Emmett! Never again!” Carlisle shouted. Emmett sulked. Then he brightened.
:Wait! One more thing!” Emmett ran back in the house, then came out with a large plastic bag.
“Emmett, don’t do it.” Edward warned, a slight smirk on his face.
“Don’t you dare tell them!” Emmett ordered. He opened the back, and about 50 red, white and blue balloons flew out. But there was something else on the balloons, The same picture on each one. It was…it was……OH GOSH!!
The balloons were printed in a picture of me, sitting in my room, reading a magazine. In my Betty Boop underpants. I was holding my hand up to my face. I remember Emmett taking the picture two weeks ago!
“You jerk!” I screamed at him, jumping on his back. We fell into the mud, wrestling.
“Boys! Boys!” Esme shouted. Rose and Edward tried to pry us off each other. They didn’t get us to stop until morning….
End of flashback
“And that’s why we don’t celebrate fourth of July” Edward finished.
“Oh my gosh, that’s insane!” I yelled,
“I never fixed my sleeve.” Rose said. She glared at Emmett.
“Oh c’mon, babe. It was fun” He leaned in for a kiss. She rolled her eyes, but did it anyway.
“I will never forgive you for that.” Jasper said angrily.
“Oh please. You completely forgot about it until now.” Emmett said.
“And now I’m ready to start hating you again.” Jasper smirked.
Renesmee ran inside, Jacob behind her.
“What have you two been up to?“ I asked as I pulled her into my lap.
“Momma, Jake took me to a parade, and we saw fireworks! They were pretty. Can we do our own fireworks, Momma?!” she asked.
“NO!” We all screamed at the same time.
“Okay, okay.” She said.
“Hey, I found this in the forest,” Jacob began. It looked like he was holding in laughter. “I think it belongs to you.” He held up a red, deflated balloon, with a picture of Jasper in his Betty Boop underpants. Emmett burst out laughing, and Jasper tackled him.
“Gotta love the holidays” Alice said.