Holidays With the Cullens
This is a collection of short stories on the Cullens’s worst holiday mishaps. Not sure if I’m gonna wait till the holidays actually come or I’ll just write out of order.
All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. I do not own Wal-Mart, though that would be cool.
Fourth of July
Bella POV
We were all sitting in the living room, where our family spent most of the time. I was sitting on the couch next to Edward, who was flipping through the TV channels. Rosalie was adding on to Renesmee’s baby book, and Alice was looking through a fashion magazine, Jasper silently next to her. Carlisle was still at work, and Renesmee was outside playing with Jacob.
“OH, C’mon Esme! Please?” Emmett’s loud voice boomed as they burst through the door.
“No Emmett. How many times must I tell you?” Esme sounded annoyed. This is what she often needs to deal with. Poor woman, she needs a break. Though it would be hard for her to find a suitable baby sitter…..
“How many times have you told me?” Emmett asked.
“About a million” Esme answered.
“In that case, a million and twenty!” Emmett grinned.
“NoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNo!!!” Esme yelled. Emmett swore.
“Why not?”
“Emmett, we are not doing fireworks again. Remember two years ago? “
“The trees grew back eventually!” Emmett protested. Esme shot him a look.
“What are they talking about?” I asked Edward. He chuckled.
“4th of July, and celebrating it. Last time didn’t turn out to good…” Edward voice drifted off, and Jasper told the story…
---------------------------------------------------
Flashback
Jasper POV
“Em, are you sure about this?” I asked. Fireworks and flammable vampires didn’t mix well, for what I know.
“Pshhaw, Jazz. Stop being such a killjoy.” Emmett growled.
We were in Wal-Mart and it was Fourth of July. Normally, a small town like this didn’t have big plans for these holidays. But Emmett did. And the whole family was terrified.
“AHA! Hear we go!” Emmett picked up these large bottle rockets, and a bunch of other junk off the shelf. We made our way up to the front counter to pay.
“Ahh, I see your having a big party.” the cashier said as he scanned our stuff.
“You bet” Emmet said. I sighed. This was going o be a long day.
“Were home!!” Emmett yelled when we walked in the front door. Everyone looked at Emmett’s bag.
“Oh no” Carlisle said. I gave him an apologetic look.
“I couldn’t stop him. Sorry.”
“Everyone stop chatting and get in the back yard.” Emmett ordered. We all trudged unwillingly out the back door.
Emmett began unloading the fireworks. He help a lighter in one hand.
“Be careful” Esme warned.
“Yeah, I know, Oh this is gonna be awesome!!!” he yelled enthusiastically. We all scowled.
“Okay. Jazz I need help.” Emmett yelled. I rolled my eyes
“Keep that thing away from me” I said pointing at the lighter as I walked over. He laughed and lit it, holding it up to my nose. I hissed and swatted it out of his hand. It fell on the bottle rocket: right on the fuse.
“CRAP!” Emmett yelled, and me and him started running for our lives, not wanting to be near it when it went. But something must have went wrong, because two seconds later, It exploded.
We all jumped back from the inferno, all cussing at the same time.
“AHH!! PUT IT OUT! PUT IT OUT!” Rose screeched. She was running around in circles, her sleeve on fire.
“Hold on!” Alice yelled. She ran for the hose.
Rose was rolling on the ground.
“PUT IT OUT!! NOW!!”
Alice ran back and started spraying Rose. She screamed even more. Finally, the flame was put out, and Rosalie was left soaking in the mud. We all broke down into laugher, even Esme giggled.
“This is my favorite blouse!” Rose yelled, staring at her burnt and charred sleeve. She looked like she was about to cry.
“Whoa. That was awesome! I am so doing this again next year.”
“No Emmett! Never again!” Carlisle shouted. Emmett sulked. Then he brightened.
:Wait! One more thing!” Emmett ran back in the house, then came out with a large plastic bag.
“Emmett, don’t do it.” Edward warned, a slight smirk on his face.
“Don’t you dare tell them!” Emmett ordered. He opened the back, and about 50 red, white and blue balloons flew out. But there was something else on the balloons, The same picture on each one. It was…it was……OH GOSH!!
The balloons were printed in a picture of me, sitting in my room, reading a magazine. In my Betty Boop underpants. I was holding my hand up to my face. I remember Emmett taking the picture two weeks ago!
“You jerk!” I screamed at him, jumping on his back. We fell into the mud, wrestling.
“Boys! Boys!” Esme shouted. Rose and Edward tried to pry us off each other. They didn’t get us to stop until morning….
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End of flashback
Bella POV
“And that’s why we don’t celebrate fourth of July” Edward finished.
“Oh my gosh, that’s insane!” I yelled,
“I never fixed my sleeve.” Rose said. She glared at Emmett.
“Oh c’mon, babe. It was fun” He leaned in for a kiss. She rolled her eyes, but did it anyway.
“I will never forgive you for that.” Jasper said angrily.
“Oh please. You completely forgot about it until now.” Emmett said.
“And now I’m ready to start hating you again.” Jasper smirked.
Renesmee ran inside, Jacob behind her.
“What have you two been up to?“ I asked as I pulled her into my lap.
“Momma, Jake took me to a parade, and we saw fireworks! They were pretty. Can we do our own fireworks, Momma?!” she asked.
“NO!” We all screamed at the same time.
“Okay, okay.” She said.
“Hey, I found this in the forest,” Jacob began. It looked like he was holding in laughter. “I think it belongs to you.” He held up a red, deflated balloon, with a picture of Jasper in his Betty Boop underpants. Emmett burst out laughing, and Jasper tackled him.
“Gotta love the holidays” Alice said.
All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. I do not own Wal-Mart, though that would be cool.
Fourth of July
Bella POV
We were all sitting in the living room, where our family spent most of the time. I was sitting on the couch next to Edward, who was flipping through the TV channels. Rosalie was adding on to Renesmee’s baby book, and Alice was looking through a fashion magazine, Jasper silently next to her. Carlisle was still at work, and Renesmee was outside playing with Jacob.
“OH, C’mon Esme! Please?” Emmett’s loud voice boomed as they burst through the door.
“No Emmett. How many times must I tell you?” Esme sounded annoyed. This is what she often needs to deal with. Poor woman, she needs a break. Though it would be hard for her to find a suitable baby sitter…..
“How many times have you told me?” Emmett asked.
“About a million” Esme answered.
“In that case, a million and twenty!” Emmett grinned.
“NoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNo!!!” Esme yelled. Emmett swore.
“Why not?”
“Emmett, we are not doing fireworks again. Remember two years ago? “
“The trees grew back eventually!” Emmett protested. Esme shot him a look.
“What are they talking about?” I asked Edward. He chuckled.
“4th of July, and celebrating it. Last time didn’t turn out to good…” Edward voice drifted off, and Jasper told the story…
---------------------------------------------------
Flashback
Jasper POV
“Em, are you sure about this?” I asked. Fireworks and flammable vampires didn’t mix well, for what I know.
“Pshhaw, Jazz. Stop being such a killjoy.” Emmett growled.
We were in Wal-Mart and it was Fourth of July. Normally, a small town like this didn’t have big plans for these holidays. But Emmett did. And the whole family was terrified.
“AHA! Hear we go!” Emmett picked up these large bottle rockets, and a bunch of other junk off the shelf. We made our way up to the front counter to pay.
“Ahh, I see your having a big party.” the cashier said as he scanned our stuff.
“You bet” Emmet said. I sighed. This was going o be a long day.
“Were home!!” Emmett yelled when we walked in the front door. Everyone looked at Emmett’s bag.
“Oh no” Carlisle said. I gave him an apologetic look.
“I couldn’t stop him. Sorry.”
“Everyone stop chatting and get in the back yard.” Emmett ordered. We all trudged unwillingly out the back door.
Emmett began unloading the fireworks. He help a lighter in one hand.
“Be careful” Esme warned.
“Yeah, I know, Oh this is gonna be awesome!!!” he yelled enthusiastically. We all scowled.
“Okay. Jazz I need help.” Emmett yelled. I rolled my eyes
“Keep that thing away from me” I said pointing at the lighter as I walked over. He laughed and lit it, holding it up to my nose. I hissed and swatted it out of his hand. It fell on the bottle rocket: right on the fuse.
“CRAP!” Emmett yelled, and me and him started running for our lives, not wanting to be near it when it went. But something must have went wrong, because two seconds later, It exploded.
We all jumped back from the inferno, all cussing at the same time.
“AHH!! PUT IT OUT! PUT IT OUT!” Rose screeched. She was running around in circles, her sleeve on fire.
“Hold on!” Alice yelled. She ran for the hose.
Rose was rolling on the ground.
“PUT IT OUT!! NOW!!”
Alice ran back and started spraying Rose. She screamed even more. Finally, the flame was put out, and Rosalie was left soaking in the mud. We all broke down into laugher, even Esme giggled.
“This is my favorite blouse!” Rose yelled, staring at her burnt and charred sleeve. She looked like she was about to cry.
“Whoa. That was awesome! I am so doing this again next year.”
“No Emmett! Never again!” Carlisle shouted. Emmett sulked. Then he brightened.
:Wait! One more thing!” Emmett ran back in the house, then came out with a large plastic bag.
“Emmett, don’t do it.” Edward warned, a slight smirk on his face.
“Don’t you dare tell them!” Emmett ordered. He opened the back, and about 50 red, white and blue balloons flew out. But there was something else on the balloons, The same picture on each one. It was…it was……OH GOSH!!
The balloons were printed in a picture of me, sitting in my room, reading a magazine. In my Betty Boop underpants. I was holding my hand up to my face. I remember Emmett taking the picture two weeks ago!
“You jerk!” I screamed at him, jumping on his back. We fell into the mud, wrestling.
“Boys! Boys!” Esme shouted. Rose and Edward tried to pry us off each other. They didn’t get us to stop until morning….
-------------------------------------------
End of flashback
Bella POV
“And that’s why we don’t celebrate fourth of July” Edward finished.
“Oh my gosh, that’s insane!” I yelled,
“I never fixed my sleeve.” Rose said. She glared at Emmett.
“Oh c’mon, babe. It was fun” He leaned in for a kiss. She rolled her eyes, but did it anyway.
“I will never forgive you for that.” Jasper said angrily.
“Oh please. You completely forgot about it until now.” Emmett said.
“And now I’m ready to start hating you again.” Jasper smirked.
Renesmee ran inside, Jacob behind her.
“What have you two been up to?“ I asked as I pulled her into my lap.
“Momma, Jake took me to a parade, and we saw fireworks! They were pretty. Can we do our own fireworks, Momma?!” she asked.
“NO!” We all screamed at the same time.
“Okay, okay.” She said.
“Hey, I found this in the forest,” Jacob began. It looked like he was holding in laughter. “I think it belongs to you.” He held up a red, deflated balloon, with a picture of Jasper in his Betty Boop underpants. Emmett burst out laughing, and Jasper tackled him.
“Gotta love the holidays” Alice said.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by ♥♥Valerie♥♥ on -
this is soo funny i love it!
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Permalink Reply by Kyra on -
LOL!!! I was laughing so hard!! Jasper in Betty Boop underwear!!!!!! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!
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Permalink Reply by NicoleƸ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ on -
I happy eveyone liked it:)
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Permalink Reply by NicoleƸ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ on
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Entry 2
Jake’s Fourth of July
“OH, yeah, the holidays are lovely.” Rose said sarcastically.
“Aw, please, it wasn’t that bad!” Jake protested. He plopped down on the floor and grabbed the remote. Rosalie scowled. Esme whimpered as he put his dirty feet up on the coffee table.
“Have you ever had an awful holiday, Jacob?” Edward asked. He was smirking, so he probably already knew. Of course.
“Urm, well, there was once,” Jake began. Edward chuckled.
“Hey, get out of my brain!” Jacob shouted. Edward rolled his eyes and said “You werewolves are so immature.”
“It happened a while ago!”
“You mean, last year?” Edward teased. Jacob glared at him
“Will you please tell us what you two are talking about?” Emmett asked, trying to push of Jasper. They had been fighting for the past 20 minutes.
“Fine.” Jacob said, “Once upon a time….” he began. Rose snorted
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Flashback
Jacob POV
Fourth of July, last year
“Are you guys seriously going to do this?” I asked Quil, Embry, Paul and Jared.
“Duh! You don’t think we would back out now, Jake-a-lake?” Paul teased me.
“Will you please stop calling me that!? It doesn’t even make any sense……”
“Your face doesn’t make sense!” Paul yelled back. I stared at him.
“Shut up Paul,” Quil said, “I know the only reason your teasing him is ‘cause you’re a wimp.”
“What?! No way I’m a wimp. I ain't backing outta this!”
“Good,” Jared said, “Then shut up and come help us.”
The guys were building a medium sized float for the annual Forks Fourth of July parade. The parade was nothing big, just a stream of floats winding along the backroads of the town, and anyone who wanted to participate could buy a spot and enter their float. The best float would get a $300 prize. We were in my garage working on it. It was green, with thick, brown-painted-poles covered with dark green streamers made to look like a forest. We would stand on top, and give our little *ahem* performance.
“Perfect!” Embry shouted, backing up to get a better look. “This is going to be the talk of the town!”
“No kidding.” Paul agreed, adding the finishing touches onto one of the trees. “They will NEVER forget this….”
______________________
3 hours later
“Alright. So me, Embry, Paul, and Quil will stand on top. Jacob will work the float and lighting. He’ll stand behind one of the trees. Everyone got that?” Jared asked. We all “Yep”’ed.
The guys were all dressed in red, white, and blue suits, with white masks that covered their entire faces. They were standing on top off the float, waiting for the time to start. Then, a policeman gave us a signal, and we set the float into motion after a large red one covered with sparklers.
We waited until we were in the middle of a large crowd before we acted. I turned on one of the lights, putting a spotlight on my friend. They turned around slowly, and, with confidence, pulled down their pants.
I burst out laughing as I watched the crowd’s reaction. Amusement, disgust, confusion, outrage. There were yells and laughter and cries. But one cry in particular…
“EMBRY!! Oh my gosh! Embry! EMBRY ETHAN CALL I KNOW ITS YOU UP THERE! OH! You wait until your mother hears about this!” An older woman shouted.
I swore.
--------------------------------------------
End of flashback
“And that’s why there is no more Fourth of July parade.” Jake finished, looking embarrassed.
Emmett was laughing, Rose was disgusted, and Jasper was happy the conversation had wandered away from his underpants.
“Like I said, immature.” Edward whispered to me. I giggled.
“Hey, at least we weren’t arrested!” Jacob shouted!
“You weren’t?” Alice said.
“Nope.” Jake said, proud.
Carlisle came through the door. He looked at Emmett laughing, Rose’s face, and the deflated balloon of Jasper in his underpants.
“Did I miss something?“ he asked. -
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Permalink Reply by Twilightlover(i<edward) on -
hahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahaha thats hilarious go emmett and the wolf pakowwwwwwwww
post more soon -
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Permalink Reply by NicoleƸ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ on
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the next one will be about Carisle's fathers day. Thats why he came home:)
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Permalink Reply by NicoleƸ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ on
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Just stopped by to say im sooo sorry for not posting in a while! Ive ben putting it off. But it will be up tomorrrow, most likley:)
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Permalink Reply by Sami L.M Volturi & Others on -
OME!!
This is soofunny!!
plzpost more soon!!! -
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