So this is my second fan fic. My first one (which is complete) is "Renesmee's Story... After Breaking Dawn". Anyway, only a few people have known about me writing this. I had told them that I wasn't going to post it but I changed my mind. Enjoy! :D Thank you soooo much Pierre for this banner! I love love love love it!!!!
How much can one heart take? Preface: This is what I think would have happened if Bella hadn’t jumped off of the cliff. It takes place around two years after Edward left. The Cullen’s are now all living with the Denali coven. Edward gave up on trying to track down Victoria- he is also beginning to give up on being away from the love of his life. Can he be persuaded to go back to her? Will Bella actually jump off of the cliff to die? Will Edward make it in time to save her? Will she forgive him for the pain he caused? Chapter 1: It had been two years since he had left me. The pain wasn’t getting better, nor did it look like it was ever going to. Everything reminded me of him or his family- which just ripped that hole in my heart even further. But, how much can one heart take until it reaches the breaking point? I have already graduated from Forks High School... finally. I was close to dropping out a few months ago because that place just caused too much pain. So after graduation, I decided that I wasn’t going to college. That was something that I wanted to do with Edward. I cringed at just the thought of his name, which also meant hugging myself until the throbbing ended. I still live with my dad Charlie in Forks but I didn’t have much interaction with him... or anyone for that matter. Jacob eventually just gave up on me and I was okay with that. The pain that I was causing him wasn’t worth the friendship. The day he told me this was still crystal clear in my memory... *flashback* I had spent the whole day sitting on Jake’s bed staring out the window- which was typical for me- and Jacob just sat next to me watching something on tv all day. Finally he broke the uncomfortable silence and sighed. After a few more moments of nothing he stood up, pacing in his tiny living room. I could tell there was something going on. “Bella...” I already knew where this was going but I figured to just let him say it. “What’s wrong?” I at least had to put up the charade. He stopped pacing. “Bella... I can’t do this any longer. We just sit here every day, you won’t talk, I try to feed you but you won’t eat... So, I guess what I’m saying is that I’m done. I’m done trying to help you. I’m done trying to help you get over him. I’m done loving you. I’m just done.” I nodded and stood up. He just stood there in front of me with his eyes closed, waiting for me to put up a fight. “Okay. Goodbye.” I wasn’t mad at all because nothing mattered to me anymore, just him. The him who never loved me and never would. *end of flashback* After the first time that someone left me I thought the second time would be just as hard. But I was wrong. I didn’t shed one tear for Jacob Black- the only tears that escaped were the ones for my absent love. Its pretty pathetic how the only person you really love is the one you can’t have. I keep waiting for him to show up but it never happens and it never will. Sometimes I just lay in my bed and cry- hoping it will help... It doesn’t. I was just about to start crying again when I heard Charlie’s car pull up in the driveway. Pretending for him was just a waste of time now- everyone can see through the mask that I try to put on. “Hey, Bells.” He never sounded happy anymore. I guess my depression just rubs off on everyone around me. “Hi.” My voice sounded so lifeless. He was carrying a pizza box, as usual. I stopped cooking for him a long time ago, also around the time that I pretty much just stopped eating. Charlie hadn’t even been asking meif I wanted anything to eat anymore. He went into the living room to watch the football game he’d been waiting for. “Dad, I’m going to take a shower then go to bed.” Just like every night. “‘Kay Bells. Goodnight.” I went up the stairs into the bathroom and took the shower. After that I snuck back down into the kitchen. I did this every night. Charlie would be upset when he found out that I’ve been taking sleeping pills every night. Chapter 2 Edward’s POV If I ever thought my life was hell before I met Bella, that was nothing. I spent every second of every day thinking about her- there was no way around it. Everything I did reminded me of her. Sitting in the forest outside the Denali’s house was the worst. It made me think too much about that day a little over two years ago... the worst day of my life. I wish that day never would’ve happened, just completely erase that from our history. And I wasn’t the only one in pain either. Everyone in my family was also hurting. Esme especially. Esme was the one that cared the most about her kids’ happiness. Ever since Carlisle had changed her, she was always concerned about me. She hated that I was the only one who didn’t have their other half, the only one who needed to be completed. I was completed... for a while. I could be happy right now, holding Bella in my arms, hearing her laugh, hearing her heart beat accelerate every time I touch her. But I wouldn’t sacrifice her life just so I could be happy. I just hope that she is doing okay. Maybe she’s in college, or dating Jacob, I’ll even settle with her being with Mike, anyone, I just want her to be happy. Or... maybe she’s suffering like me. She could be waiting for me to show up on her doorstep, begging for forgiveness... I’ve already thought about that hundreds of times but I always come up with the same answer: She hates me for what I did to her. We were in love and I had to go and ruin it. I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if she turned me down if I went back to Forks. But on the other hand, Bella wasn’t one to hold a grudge... Suddenly I heard a quiet knock on the door. I forgot that I was sitting in my bedroom of the Denali’s house. I recognized the timid knock- Alice. “Come in.” I said quietly, knowing she could hear. She had an expectant look on her face, like she was waiting for me to explain something. “What, Alice?” She actually looked happy (which I haven’t seen since we’d left Forks). “I just had a vision We need to get going ” “What...?” “Forks I saw us going to Forks ” Oh. My. Gosh. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Bella’s POV After having an okay night of sleep, I decided to get out of bed. Charlie was, of course, fishing like he does every single Saturday. Sitting in my room was tiring, so I decided to go for a walk. After a few minutes of wandering, I finally looked up to see where I was. It shocked me, I’d never been here since that day two long years ago. In fact, I was standing in front of the same tree that I was by when he said goodbye. “You... don’t... want me?” “No.” That part right there was where my heart broke. The throbbing in my chest started again just thinking about it.. “It will be as if I never existed.” He was so wrong. He thought that I would just forget about him because he isn’t actually here. Well, I was having hallucinations for a while but they stopped. “You’re not good for me, Bella.” I always knew how true that was from the moment I saw him. The one question that I’ve always had in my mind appeared again: Why did he ever pick me in the first place? He had all of those other girls drooling over him and he picked me of all people. He picked me Then he left me. I sat by the tree and marveled over that fact. Edward, of all people, chose a human... After thinking for several hours, I noticed that the sun was just starting to set. I got off of the damp forest ground and starting to slowly walk back towards the house- Charlie would be worried if I wasn’t home. Once I stepped through the break of trees, I saw that he was already home. Great. I now started walking faster. As I entered the house I realized that my face was soaked, and not from the rain; it was from tears. I quickly dried my face and went into the living room where my dad was, once again, watching some big sports event. He suddenly shut off the television when he heard me entering the room like I was a child who shouldn’t be able to see whatever he was watching. He stood up and looked at me. “Bella... I don’t know how to say this...” Oh boy. “Dad, just get it over with.” “Okay... Bells, you need to stop mopping around. All you’ve been doing is sitting around and crying He isn’t coming back Haven’t you realized that by now? ” The second he said my name I could feel the tears coming. He was right. I wasn’t loved anymore. Love. Life. Meaning. Over. I had no one left to love me. My dad would be fine without me. I hadn’t called Renee in months. Jacob gave up on me. Edward... my Edward. I started crying. “I know. What do you want me to do about it?” “Just stop doing all of this Stop crying Start eating Start sleeping without taking pills ” Okay, so maybe he did know about that. “What are you going to do if I don’t? Kick me out?” It was quiet for a few long seconds. This can’t be good. “Bells, you know that I don’t want to do this, but... You either need to stop doing this or move out.” I couldn’t believe he really said that. I never thought that I would see the day when Charlie would do this. Once again it was quiet. “Fine. I’ll go pack.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Edward’s POV Alice was still trying to convince me that the right thing to do was to go back to Forks. We had been arguing for over an hour. “Edward, please You know you want this I saw it in your eyes as soon as I said ‘Forks’ ” Ugh, she’s never going to give up “Alice, stop I can’t go there, it just isn’t right I said that it would be like I never existed and I can’t go changing that now. Believe me, I wish I never would’ve said it.” “Edward ” She said it like she was exhausted. I wish. “We have to! She loves you Edward. You love her. Lets go. Now.” This wasn’t her persuasive voice anymore. This was her ‘listen to me or I will rip your head off’ voice. “Fine. We’ll go.”