this starts off in eclipse with jake's point of view, but it's different from real story. this is just my version.
a lot of things change for the residents of LaPush and Bella Swan. desire, confusion, and murder weave new paths for each of their lives. secrets reveal themselves and rupture the skin. new passions come to light. can imprinting make love easier?... can true love conquer imprinting?
Jacob Black Forever Chapter 1: Sunrise
i woke up this morning to find my legs stretched over the end of my bed. dang. i had grown again. i sat up and yawned, and stretched and flexed my arms. i felt like a freak. my muscles bulged. i looked in the mirror and decided that maybe they weren't so bad. i put some gray sweat pants over my legs and went to the kitchen for breakfast. dad was already there. i opened the fridge and drank the milk right from the carton.
Billy cleared his throat and folded his arms across his chest. "you're not dressed for school, yet?"
"i'm not going," i winked at him. i took another swig of milk from the carton.
"why not son?" he asked. i thought the answer was obvious.
"dad. look at me. i'm a freak of nature. you think kids at school aren't gonna notice these physical changes and make fun of them?"
"you shouldn't care what they think. you are something special. you have been chosen by nature to be the next alpha in our family tree. if i had gotten that chance, i wouldn't be complaining about it like you are," dad said.
i poured him a glass of milk and set it on the table. then i rolled him under it and made him something for breakfast.
"aren't you going to school today?" he asked. it wasn't a question. more like if you don't say yes then don't bother coming home this afternoon.
"maybe," i said. i put a pop tart in the toaster. i enjoyed testing his patience to an extent. but i always know where my limits are with dad. i looked out the window and the sun's ray beamed down like a lazer.
"you are not a freak. you are special," dad said.
"sure," i responded, still staring out the window. the sun never hurt my eyes when i look directly at it. it's like i'm the same species as the star. we could be one. we could take each other's place in nature. i whipped my head. then i felt my hair and realized the long black locks i use to sport were gone. i always seem to forget that. i rubbed the back of my head. my hair now was short and glossy. if i grew it back out, i would be one hairy wolf.
i put the pop tart on a plate and slid it to dad.
"thanks," he said. "now go put on a shirt and go to school."
i walked back to my room and looked around. what a mess, i shook my head. almost every piece of clothing i owned was either ripped or shredded. i siffed through the piles looking for something halfway decent to throw on. i put on a white shirt. then i took off the sweat pants, they didn't go with the shirt. but they did if i wanted to look like a homeless guy. i slipped on some blue jeans and then stuck my feet into some sneakers. i grabbed my backpack and banged my forehead walking out of the doorway. i said bye to dad and this time i ducked my head as i walked through the doorway of the front of the house. it felt like summer to me, but it was October. i got into my truck and drove to school. i was low on gas but i could make it there and back without running out. i decided to get some gas anyway before i returned home.
the school parking lot was scarce of cars. and i felt guilty for being one of the few kids that had a vehicle. i parked and walked up the steps just as the bell rang for first period. i caught Mrs. Nenette blushing at my physique. i couldn't help but smile, but i worried about giving her the wrong impression. like i said, i couldn't help but smile.
"good morning, Mrs. Nenette," i said.
"good morning, Jacob," she said.
i was the tallest kid walking through these halls. girls smirked at me and flirted. guys looked at me and wondered. maybe they wondered how i get so buff. maybe they wanna ask but are too 'macho' to ask. oh well. it's not like there's an answer i can give them. because there is none that i can share. they will just have to wonder. i walked into Mrs. Ono's class before ducking my head. she smiled and said hello. the thick round lenses of her glasses got jammed into her high set cheekbones as she smiled. i said hello and took my seat. i put my back pack on the floor.
Jacob Black Forever Chapter 14 Rest In Pieces
we left Emily's house. we were the last to leave, me and Paul. we jumped into the dirt road, joining the people as they gathered all going to the same place. i could see fires building up ahead. the drums were being played moderately. people squished together, making it difficult to move. i didn't want to push through anyone so close, i thought that would be rude. Paul grabbed my hand and manuevered through the human cracks blocking us. i feasted my eyes on what looked like a freak show. on display were three separate pyres that had been built. each one housing a severed piece of Edward Cullen. his head, his body, and his broken hand. it all burned. the flames went up to the sky, rather than spreading out. my heart turned black. i shouldn't be here. i was the only person not amused or interested. my face was blank. the smokey air filled my nose. i felt ashamed for participating. i folded my arms and turned to leave. i bumped into somebody and rocked back on my heels.
"sorry," i muttered quietly, sadly. it was easier leaving than it was coming, i walked through the people. every set of eyes i saw were turned upward, looking ahead at the three pyres, watching Edward slowly leave this earth for good. i walked on my way back to Emily's house, passing several empty stores; everyone was at the freak show, and a little Quileute giftshop. that must be something for tourists. i stopped infront of the hospital, knowing the nurse would kick me out if i went in to try to see Jake. i passed up a chance to be wrong and headed to Emily's. i let myself in, twisting the bronze door knob until the door popped open. i entered and turned on a light. i huffed, overwhelmingly. the clock said, 7pm.
i didn't go back to the guest room. now that it's a baby's room, i don't think it's the appropriate place for me to let out my emotions. i walked up and down the hall, looking for a place to sit and cry. tears spilled over my eyelids and my mouth scrunched up in an ugly way. i peeked through a door. this room had empty boxes and a fold out bed. the air smelled of cardboard. i went in and closed the door. i sat on the fold out. the cushiony dark blue comforter laying across it had yellow shooting stars for the repeated pattern. my fist gripped a hand full of it. i turned my head at the sudden knocking on the door, surprised. i wanted to be left alone. i wanted to ignore it.
"who is it?" i asked.
"it's Paul," he said on the other side.
"i don't feel so good. just leave me alone," i said. despite what i said, the knob twisted and the door fell open. i sighed. i should have locked it.
"Sam sent me.. to check on you," he said.
"why you," i asked.
he shrugged. "i'm the one that dragged you there."
"so you can marvel in my despair?" i asked, sarcastic.
"so i can learn something," Paul rolled his eyes. i didn't worry about how i looked. it was too late to wipe my eyes. he already saw it all. my puffy, red and wet face. Paul looked down. i was shocked. was he finally feeling some remorse for me.
"are you going to apologize?" i pushed my luck.
"not a chance," he lifted his head up. but his expression was very apologetic, as his eyes lingered on me while he spoke. he stood in the doorway as if he thought a monster was hiding in here somewhere.
"i'm not the freakin plague, you know," i griped. Paul's eyes narrowed at me, thinking. he walked over. all he had on were a pair of dark grey sweatpants that stopped at the knees. they were tied. i looked at his golden brown feet as they walked across the floor. he sat down next to me, making another dent in the fold out.
"i don't get it, you know," Paul said. "he's a bloodsucker. a killer. how can anyone.." he trailed off, wincing. "love.." the word dragged itself out as he seemed reluctant to say it. "a vampire."
i swiped at a tear that had reached the tip of my nose. "crazy, right," i mumbled, trying to sympathize with his way of seeing it. he didn't speak. i took the openness as an invitation to spew a little. maybe i would enjoy him wincing at my emotional talk. "it's just that the memories of him came up with the flames. he was a person too. and he wasn't even a bad vampire. all i wanted from him was a little affection. something more than words. some physical security."
my eyes widened at my own words. i could see Paul looking disgusted and bolting from the house. i anticipated that. i turned to look at him, and my mouth smacked into his lips. maybe it was an accident. maybe we were sitting to close, i initially thought. but that wasn't so, because his lips held on to mine. we were stuck like magnets. his lips were soft and warm. he let go, starring wide eyed into my eyes. my hands flew up and grasped his face, pulling him back to me. i kissed him greedily as my mind treaded back and forth between sanity and insanity. i pulled away.
"no, i can't. you know i.." i said, before his lips smashed into mine again, cutting off my vocals. he was so vigorous that i caved. wanting.. needing more of that. i didn't think about anything but his smooth russet skin and his warm touch. i wrapped my arms around his neck and leaned back on the fold out bed. Paul came crashing down on top of me. hot replaced cold. passion replaced uncertainty. all the things i once craved from Edward, i was now getting from someone i never expected. his hand traveled, pressed against me, going under my jacket and shirt to feel my skin, down to my jeans. he undid them. then back up the same way, his hand traveled. i trembled from the light touch of his fingers on my skin. then his fingers pressed down hard around my waist, pinning me down. his body felt incredible laying against mine.
he massaged my neck with his lips, printing a pocket of heat right on my neck. i found it all too irrisistable to stop. i couldn't let go of him. i clinged to him. my mind and my body were on the same page, and that left no room for nothing and no one else. i trembled underneathe him. i was hot, too hot. his lips moved away from me. i reached to kiss him more, and feel his warmth. he kissed me back, fervorntly. he brought his hand up to my forehead, flipping it over, then pressing it down.
"Bella, you're buring up," he said, his eyes narrowing.
"i don't care," i responded. he pulled back more to get a better look at me, maybe wandering if i was in my right mind. "i want it." i gazed at him, much too desperately. Paul's eyes rolled down to my stomach and then back up to my face. i stuck my hand to the center of his hot chest. i slid back down, having no clue how to act. my trembling got worse as he came closer, crushing me. leaving no space between our bodies. his lips softly rubbed against my neck. my hands grabbed his shoulders for support. i kept my eyes closed. it was just too embarrassing to look anywhere else besides the darkness of my closed lids. i nodded when he asked me if i was okay. each shot of intensity that ripped through my body made me quiver worse and worse. it was too much for me to handle. i reached my hands out, trying to grab anything tangible. we moved in a rhythm that seemed to have a mind of its own and didn't care what we thought. i never felt something so good as this. his back arched and he slid his hand down my back, lifting me up. Paul lifted the comforter over us. our heads covered, we kissed through the rest of it. and when it was over, my body slumped, like coming down from a rollercoaster ride. he slipped away from me and fell back beside me, exhausted and weary. he breathed heavily. i turned on my side, parched and flustered. my mind, disarranged. i layed my head down on my hands.
it took me longer to catch my breath. all my energy had been drained out. my eyes focused idly on the stacked boxes. reality set in, and i seemed to wake up from a dream. but it wasn't a dream. when we walk out of here, will we automatically go back to our naturally incompatable selves. but we meshed together so perfectly, physically. Paul moved, sitting up. he pressed his hand to my side. i turned my head up and looked at him. i starred at his relaxed, satisfied expression. we listened as voices entered the house and doors closed. the ceremony must be over.
Jacob Black Forever Chapter 15 Lusty Love
i moved my hand back against his thigh. we started to get up, sliding out of the comforter. Paul's feet hit the floor. i stopped, looking down at my pale feet and pulled them back on the fold out bed, curling myself up in a ball and wrapping my scrawny white arms around my knees. i was naked. Paul chuckled. he bent down and grabbed my jeans from the floor. he handed them to me. i looked away as he slid into his sweatpants. i couldn't help but to be demure. i turned around when he was done. but he didn't show me the same respect. he leaned against the wall, his eyes watched me as if he was watching a movie, as i put my clothes on. i felt naughty.
"enjoying the show?" i asked.
he grinned, "what show?" he said. and wrapped his hand around the door knob. i froze. unsure if he was kidding. he was. but that still hurt my feelings. i walked up, putting my hand on the door and shutting it back closed when he opened it. i turned around, squished between him and the exit. i pouted. i didn't know what i wanted to say, but i wanted to say something.
"i was kidding," Paul chuckled. "don't be so touchy. let's go again. i'll try to loosen you up a bit more." his hand grabbed my chin. i knocked his hand down.
"don't talk to me like that," i got mad. he threw his head back, and a thick, deep laugh came out of him.
"they're just jokes, Bella," he hammered his fist on the door, lightly. i exhaled deeply. i couldn't explain the sudden attachment i was feeling. like i'm suppose to follow him everywhere. i liked the idea so much that it seemed real. "your face looks different," he noted.
"how so?" i asked, starring at his pecks.
"you look.. less pissed off," he said. "that's good." he said after i didn't respond. he bent his neck. i had turned my head away. he lips found mine and he kissed me with such passion that my heart skipped a beat. i gasped as i listened to my chest. and let go when it started beating again. i couldn't be away from him now. i would die. i searched his face for any hints, anything thing that would suggest feelings for me. but there was none i could easily decipher. his expression was so well put together. hidden behind his forced distaste for me was a desire for me. one flicker away from his usual self revealed this to me. i wonder for how long had he had these feelings. i didn't know how to go on. all i know is i don't want to leave. i could work on stripping away his guise, but how would that benefit either of us. we should just bury tonight as a one time thing that'll never happen again. but i ached for him. his hands wrapped around my waist. i leaned back on the door. his lips traveled along my collarbone and up my neck. he moved my jacket off my shoulder. the curve in my back pushed me into his arms. he talked in my ear as my head lay against him.
"i can't explain what just happened," he said. "without telling you a secret. everyone in the pack knows. even Jake. i fought it forever. until now i guess." i put my arms around him, hugging him as i listened.
"why'd you fight it," i asked, without asking what it was. that would be my next question. my brain wasn't working right.
"because you smelled. everytime i got near you, you smelled like vampire. it was aweful. and i felt like something was wrong with me for.. shame is mostly why i hid it. who wants anyone to know they imprinted on a fangbanger." i felt his body wince. i whipped my up at him, starring with bulging eyes.
"imprint," i repeated his word. i knew what it meant. i just thought it was impossible. i gave myself a moment to gather some sense. "if they all know, then why?"
"because i gave him permission to," Paul said, not letting me finish my question. "i didn't want it. i didn't want you." i froze up, stilling clinging to him. "i have no choice, but Jake does. he's choosing to love you. it's not like we flipped a coin and decided which one of us was going to have you. you never needed me anyway."
"until now," i muttered against his chest.
"he would understand if i stopped ignoring it, but i don't think he could let you go so easily, emotionally. you would stick in his head, on the very outside of his brain. and i don't want that for him."
"i don't either," i said. but it seemed inevitable. "do you love me?" i asked, anxious for the answer. hoping for a certain one.
"that's the funny thing about it," he said. "i really despise you. you're not my type. i only like a few things about you."
"why do you hate me?" i begged.
"i always knew one day i would become your slave."
i suppressed laughter. "you hate me because you imprinted on me. but isn't that suppose to make you love me?"
"i can think beyond what nature tells me," Paul said. "i can be there for you, but i don't have to like it."
i found his expressiveness amusing. "so what you're telling me is, you didn't enjoy making love to me?"
he thought to himself for a couple of seconds as i looked in his face, patiently waiting for an answer. "no, that part was fun," he said. i let some laughter roll off my tongue. his eyes gazed down at me, in a mixture of confusion and delight. i realized he has never heard me laugh before.
"why do you say this to me now?" i asked. "why not just keep it between you and the pack."
"i see that you benefit from me. if it helps you in any way, why bother keeping it secret. you obviously need all the help you can get."
"well, thank you for caring so much for my well- being," i scoffed. "you're basically saying i needed some sex."
he chuckled. "if that's how you wanna interpret it, go ahead.."
i sighed. of course it wasn't just sex. but it mostly was. other little things tacked on to it and winged out, creating a tree. if all i needed was him to make me put Edward out of my mind for good, then i resented him for taking so long. i returned every thing he felt for me. except love. because that's the only thing he didn't feel for me. who i love is Jacob. eternal love verses eternal lust. you can't have one without the other, just based on my experience. but could i have one and not the other, that would be ideal to me. to want both just seemed too freakin greedy. even for me. because behind these feelings were actual people who are all capable of getting hurt. even Paul.
"you said you liked a few things about me. like what?" i asked. i had tightened my grip around his waist.
he tried not to smile, but did. "you make me laugh."
then i remembered that he only laughs when i do stupid things or when something bad happens to me. he has a twisted sense of humor. i'm not sure if i should count that as a compliment.
"what else.." i sighed.
"i like that you're very easy to read. it's sort of equivalent to how we can read each others thoughts as wolves. that's how transparent you are."
again, not sure if that's a compliment.
"what else," i egged, hoping for something i can feel proud of myself for.
"i like.. your eyes, " he said. skipping to the physical things. "they're oddly wide." he touched his finger to the corner of my left eye. "and beautiful."
i blushed. i could feel my cheeks burning apple red.
"but i always thought you were kinda hot," he said.